Ebolaworld, it will be great if you start making animation stories on the Quran as well They are almost identical to the Bible. But there are few funny ones not mentioned.Like Muhammed flying to the "seventh sky on top of a donkey with wings".
These top comments are disconcerting. Atheists and agnostics are becoming just as bad as the religious assholes who shoved the Bible down people's throats. Let people believe what they want to believe and if that bothers you, tough shit. I'm talking to everyone. Loved the video though. Love Sam T.
So noah went and got 2 of each animal around the world including not found Australia, America, Asia, or the little island of Komodo? And them didn't document his findings, or tell anyone of them!
my father told me that he didnt think bible storys should be taken litrally. he thinks that thay are all just storys with the same message. im god, dont fuck with me.
u kno ur sinning .... and this video is making fun of god n u will be punished for this if u dont ask for forgiveness from god. yea it might be funny but its wrong. and the whole reason why we are here on this earth is to be tested. and who every passes gets to life with god in heaven forever, but u have to be born again. i dont know if u kno that or if u are a christian. but i would like to know why u are making these videos.
I think Christianity and all major religions are losing the fight since the birth of the internet and free exchange of information. This can happen if rational people are allowed a chance to congregate and fight back. Theists are strong because they come in numbers ie. gather in a church and reinforces each other's "faith". Atheists now come together on the internet, and are winning debates everywhere. You can't stop the things that just makes sense... Its time to end the bible madness.
@soonny002 I may be an atheist but I still believe in ghosts because I want to and its kinda fun to believe in such things it makes things more interesting. But I have this to say you are technically judging people on the believes, is that really a moral highroad, how is that different then what they do. Just pointing this out Believe in what makes you happy and don't let others tell you are judge you for it. ur plan is to make them stop believing just because u think ur believes are better
@JDLOCKON I believe in the pursuit of truth. Let it be ghost or god, I believe in the pursuit of the truth of it's presence. And I acknowledge that we simply can't live our lives based entirely on evidence, hence instead of believing that our beliefs are true, let it be god or ghosts, it's better to say "I don't know ". Live your life as you want. But it is arrogant to believe we know it all when we're barely scratching the surface. The fun is in finding out, not simply believing that we "know".
Y'all ever think that maybe...just MAYBE that Lucifer is the better man here? I mean...he's not writing a book dissing god...maybe gods just a sore loser and an asshole who hates people having a good time...just a thought...
@LaLongeCarbine That thought is probable and admissable...My thought is that maybe lucifer is wanting to be nice to us...think about it..if the story is true...the tree of knowledge of good and evil...and we get given the knowledge...God was keeping it from us...all through the buy bull you read about how god says ' don't murder' Unless its somone else I tell you too....genocide. etc. Just sayin'....
Noah's Ark is the shit but there is something even better. Mormonism. You get alien space gods, Elohim is a pimp, and the book is full of action. BEST FUCKING STORY EVER, WATCH THEIR CARTOONS THOSE ARE THE BEST!
the bible is just a giant set of books that contradicts itself. i love these little 'toons cuz they do point out a lot of the obvious things ive wondered about. ESPECIALLY the whole 'repopulate' the earth thing.
can you really blame him for mocking christianity? have you read the christian(mostly jewish with some added books) "scriptures"? they contain tales of unicorns, and floods and a vengeful, tantrum-prone, bloodthristy, all loving, rape-approving, murderous, unmerciful, merciful, all knowing, not-all-knowing, and all in all grotesque caricature of god. and they believe this collection of books(written by a bunch of jews and chosen by a bunch of romans) to be the word of god!
@sabin97 Yes,I'm a Christian.I guess if someone mocked Atheism and used Christian resources you would get mad to.Also a rape approving God?Give me the scripture.He denies all sexual immorality and only thinks sex is okay until marriage.Bloodthirsty?LOL scripture please.Unmeriful?Nope.And I laugh at you when you say unicorns because Unicorns is never said in the bible,only the KJV and when they say unicorns it's a translation for something else.Also,Noahs arks was found so you fail.Scripture plz
i dont care about atheism, i'm not one of them so i cant be offended. and it would be a bit hard to mock non-belief. i recommend you read deuteronomy 22:28-29. i think you mean after, not until.jeremiah 50:21-22.
wow the unicorn is even more interesting, search answersingenesis, they try to say unicorns existed.
when was the ark found? it would have been in the news all over the world. i do not remember such wonderful news......
FACT: The "face of the whole earth" can be localized, e.g. Exodus 10:5, 15.
FACT: There was no mass extinction of living things only a few thousand years ago.
CONCLUSION: The account is of a localized flood.
If the account is unreliable, then from the text of Genesis and the laws of physics, LOGICALLY CONCLUDE that the account tells of a global flood-extinction...
Actually, I 've often though that Penguins would have had the best chance to survive the flood. But after the dead fish and mollusks rotted, they'd have been out of luck.
I wonder how much is 15 cubit is nowdays as mentioned in the bible? Anyways, I ain't a math genious but there's a calculation discrepancy somwhere lol.
whoever made this video, you should probably read the bible before you make a cartoon about it. God bless you and I really hope you think before you act.
@ebolaworld you read the entire bible? and you still made this video? im sure from reading the bible you would have thought differently of God, and his word. What do you think?
@panzoncastellanos1 Obviously he has his opnion about the old testment, you should repect it. I agree with him the old testment make no sense and yes I've read the bible
@panzoncastellanos1 I see what you mean, He didn't take into account the extra clean animals for sacrifice. That's a big difference, and really vitiates the whole point of the video.
This brings up all sorts of fun logistical problems for ancient Noah...
First of all, he has to send an expedition team to Australia to get them Kangaroos, then he has to send another team to the Pole to get the Bears (I wonder how the bears survived in the Middle east).
Hey, don't forget the Blue whales - I hear them mofos are BIG.
@ezemdi Think about that last animal. Blue Whales? He didn't have to gather aquatic animals jackass, the world was flooded, I think the animals that live in the water would be just fine.
So 1 man and his 4 sons built a ship that is the size of an aircraft carrier or bigger and some how fit 2 of every animals on earth which can fill an area the size of the state of Florida into a ship...There is a lot inbreeding afterwards that why you see 3 races of humans...more proof that Judism and Christianity are scams to enslave people. Like animals can swim across the oceans from Australia and walk across the desserts and climb the mountains to come to Isreal to get on a ship. FUCK YOU!
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If the bible Was as this protrayed, I wouldnt believe... but The title of these videos are indeed correct. 'messed up' so I encourage all to actually read/study what the Bible says to get it straight. :-) since people don't like to read that book any more, I almost wanna say I double dare ya. :-) you'll like it.
@BikerMike7381 No, it really is pretty much just like this in the bible. Obviously the dialogue isn't the same, but that's for comedic purposes. If you actually HAVE read the biblical account of the flood and still believe it... Wow man, I feel pretty bad for you.
@BikerMike7381 I had to read it to make these stories. Luckily each story in the bible is more hilarious than the last. I can make a living off this. :P
@BikerMike7381 yeah actually according to recent studies atheists actually have more biblical knoledge on average than christians, along with this most of the atheists i have spoke to became atheist because they read the bible i have read it and yeah it doesnt make any sense at all
@BikerMike7381 Have you read the bible? Even if you tell the Bare Bones of the Original story its goofy. Lets see, 2 of every land animal on a boat.... LOL, do a sum of the area of every species on this earth then double it, multiply that sum by 2. Then laugh a little. Now I would like you to Sum up the weight and multiply by two then laugh... Then add in the weight and area of food needed to feed all those creatures... Then laugh..... Its a damn riot that book is.
@jkrobertson88 hmmm that would be funny, - to imagine a boat the size of the state of texas. but as it defines 'kind' to mean the 'flesh of beasts, fish, foul, and man, then he could've done that with a row boat. I know how people protray religion and such to be stupid, but with a little good thinking and studying, if there is a 'God as it describes, then all can make sense.
@BikerMike7381 no matter how it defines it, the premise of the story is that all the animals on earth that wouldn't survive in water would need to be in pairs to get on the boat. I guess I am saying look at all the animals we have, and even if Christians bend on micro-evolution the boat needed to carry all of them would be ridiculously large, without the food included. Also the carnivores would have had to eat meat because they can't survive on plants.
@BikerMike7381 What utter nonsense, not only is this story copied from much older Babylonian texts, and not only does the bible contradict itself multiple times in telling the actual story (eg. it says 2 of each then it says 7 of each) but it is also demonstrably false, there is overwhelming proof that this event never even occurred and to think that it did and that a global flood killed everything requires incredible credulity and ignorance. This nonsense story wouldn't even make a good parable
So if God said he wouldn't ever fuck the earth over again and kill massive numbers of people because they were evil, whats with this whole End of Days business in Revelations??? Sounds even worse then the flood. Damn double-crossin' deity!
Actually fundies will point out god only ever promised not to even fuck everything up again WITH a global flood. Which is really just a way of saying that god doesn't like his death and destruction getting stale.
@Fhilbo the church of god - his pl- are going to go with him, and darkness will rule it all because god or his pl are not going to by there. That is why things are going to get bad.
@Fhilbo Well... Technically God said he would never kill "massive numbers of people" with a flood because they were evil ever again. As a matter of fact he promised to use fire next time. Nuclear apocalypse anyone? :D
The BIBLE is the MARK of the BEAST! Constantine (1st beast) legalized Christianity and had 50 bibles compiled. King James, homo (2nd beast) 666 # of a man, born 1566, 6th of Scotland, authorized 66 book bible, image of God's word, carried in your hand, memorized in your head, made to speak (the bible says) and is used as an object of worship. Your faith will fail.
If that's how you wanna look at it. I see it more as disrespecting your parents your whole life and hating them then expecting them to bail you out of trouble while you continue to constantly disrespect them.
@JerryWayne3 man, this is a parody, it is not supposed to be literal interpretations, still it is very close to what the bible says. you must be one of those selfproclaimed christians who has never read the bible. Anyway the text you can read as subtitles in the video is what is actually written in the bible.
@crybllrd - ah, I was just thinking that. I think the bible actually does say that his kids and THEIR husbands and wives came aboard the ol' party boat...
BUT - think about it - what about the offspring of the two-of-every-kind of animal he saved? Think about it... this is like Adam and Eve TIMES A TRILLION!!!
@freakystyley4000 I'm texan and I'm not an imbred moron. I take offense every time someone bashes people in texas. Not everyone from texas is an ignorant moron just as not everyone who lives in alabama is a racist. I do not believe in the bible and I do not go on "fag drags" or "nigger hunts". Please don't make any ignorant statements towards texas again. We're not all that bad ;)
@MansonFan64 - thanks for taking my comment in stride... don't worry mate, being a Texan is the American equivalent of being a Tasmanian... or worse; a New Zealander!!! Hehe.
Hilarious when bible thumpers praise god/jesus - then follow that up with a threat of hell to those that don't believe. Another organization built on terror. Can you see it?
let me get this straight... it has become common belief that there is some omnipotent being that created everyone, if so who or what created god? we believe all this shit because some book told us too, honestly aren't we a little smarter than that? also a good deal of cristians are homophobic, thats not a belief, that's being an asshole! if i wrote that there is a huge dick monster that will suck you down its dickhole would you believe me... NO, so why believe this. THINK FOR YOURSELVES!
@sharpshoe1 It gets better. There's more people who believe this than those who are smart enough not to. And it gets even better. Some people who are smart enough not to fall for it think that everything is good and well between believers and non-believers. And think that we should stay quiet and let time solve any conflict.
This Just In... moses invented bowling. he was the first to pick up a 7-10 split. and when he did they partied like it was .0099. everyone knows moses said "let my people go." but what he really said was "let my people go BOWLING." so now you know.
THIS JUST IN...moses invented bowling. he was the first to pick up a 7-10 split. they partied like it was .0099 when he did it. everybody knows moses said "let my people go." but what he really said was......"LET MY PEOPLE GO BOWLING!!!!!" now you know. if you dont believe me look for yourself in the gospel of Frank, chapter 7 verse 18.
@drpepperdre Ugh... responding to some close-minded God beliving person who left a comment 1 year ago seems pointless, but I'm going there!
First off all, if you're a people that does not know anything, naturally, they will start believing in higher powers, I can respect people believing in a religion, but only if they're respecting that I've chosen to not believe in it. Basically, you're close-minded, I've read about religion, but have you read on science? You should.
Yeah, even as a kid I had big issues with this pile of biblical bullshit.... I mean, okay ignoring the fact the entire world get completely covered in water, oh and the time needed to collect two of each kind of animal and the size the boat would need to be..... it always confused me.... why the fucking hell would you build a boat and put sharks and fish in it..... when the world is flooded?
I seriously want to see the story of Job, where God and Satan have a bet on if Job will still worship god after God and Satan litteraly beat the shit out of him.
@RClelland...Apparenlty, Satan tells god that Job would never praise him if bad things happened to him...God basically said "Oh yeah? watch THIS!" and though various catastrophies, destroyes Jobs life by killing all his family and farmers, kills all his animals, destroys his home and gives him diseases...Job, being naieve, still praises god, so god gives him better things...but it doesnt take away the fact that he treated him like shit just to prove a point to satan.
@1Dudelove it was a test of FAITH..... and it pleased God greatly that his His servant believes/fears and Honours him as the one and true God and for that Job is probably in his mansion kicking it back watching thhe game /..hahah j/k
@generalcash..It would still be funny to see a "Messed up Bible stories" version, It could have god and satan at the casino dressed in tuxedos and smoking cigars, placing bets and watching Job react to hazards.
@1Dudelove God brought the flood to clean the Earth of evil and to introduce good, some will view this as violence against violence but few know that it was an act of love, thats why He seeked out noah and his family because they were the only believers that kept worshipping, He only destroyed the evil, and He will do it again in the end, only evil needs to fear Him, and the wrath He brings
@zipitup75 Mankind must have been very very evil indeed to make Almighty God wish He had never made us.... *shakes head* It's hard enough hearing a parent tell you that you should have been aborted or something, it's another level of fail to find out that God wishes He never created you and your species....dang...
@dealmaker007 yes they were very evil,and he cleanse the earth of them, and saved the rightous, and another thing, alot of these people couldve been saved if they wouldve believed God told Noah to build the ark, but they mocked him and laugh at him, which is the same as mocking God Himself
@zipitup75 This is true too and still has implications today. We seem to be approaching what may be end times for all we know, and the writing is getting to be on the wall, but many still mock! :(
@dealmaker007 True, they're is alot of evil in the world,some people dont value the life of others anymore, they will kill dozens without hesitation nor remorse, and just the mention of God can anger people to the point where they want to hurt you, you are completely right we are in the end times, but the atheist wants to accept all this evil as being normal, and make it there life's work to try to disprove God
@dealmaker007 What was that bible quote that said, a rapist must pay the victim's father 20 pieces of silver, and be forced to marry the victim to atone?
@m3xicanSuperman i get it its a parody of the great flood i know that, but people that are not familiar with the bible, will turn away from God, so i need to explain it
OMG.. GUESS WHAT?.... Once you start reading this you can not stop or something very bad will happen to you(what happen to me). I am 10 years old i died today at 11:00.I was hit by a car.I have very many scars. I am invisible so you can not see me!!If you dont post this on 10 statuses you will die in the middle of the night tonight!!!If you dont do this you will die!!!YOUR DEATH TIME STARTS...........NOW
aww you left out the best part: getting wasted in a vineyard right after he leaves the ark and then being discovered unconscious and naked in his tent by his sons!!! >:P lol
@MumblingMickey I do use my mind. Just because I believe in God and in the Bible doesn't mean I'm stupid. A little bit of respect would suit you. And I don't call Jews rats or anything like that.
@dars2607 well if thats the way you feel at this point in your life and you truly think you are not simply an average religions dingbat... then can I suggest you stop viewing videos such as the one above.
From what I have heard no good will come of you looking for explanations other than those offered to you by religions authorities...
At the end of the day its your life...and if you are young then such questions will almost certainly lead to problems you don't need or want.
@dars2607 Firstly... number one... I certainly DID NOT refer to anyone as "rats or anything like that."
Please read my comment again... it might give you an idea why I would suggest you are not using your mind... in this case you read my comment to mean precisely the opposite of the point I was making. That clearly is neither sensible... nor intelligible.
And I would refer you to the idea that 'respect' is earned. So when someone makes a stupid proposition it gets the respect it deserves.
@dars2607 Firstly... number one... I certainly DID NOT refer to anyone as "rats or anything like that."
Please read my comment again... it might give you an idea why I would suggest you are not using your mind... in this case you read my comment to mean precisely the opposite of the point I was making. That clearly is neither sensible... nor intelligible.
And I would refer you to the idea that 'respect' is earned. So when someone makes a stupid proposition it gets the respect it deserves.
I know this is gonna sound gross,but back then,it was okay to have a child with a relative.I'm a Christian and feel bad for watching this stuff,but it's just so funny lol.
You feel bad?!?!? you mean you feel sorta stupid! After all... if Jonah was bullshit... ad Adam and eve were bullshit... then what reason did Jesus have for appearing... to remove the original sin that was also bullshit?!?!?
Noah was on the ark with his wife, 3 sons, and their 3 wives. Interestingly enough, a reasonable assumption of population growth rate (0.5 percent) fits with a population that began about 4000 years ago, not with a human history of millions of years. As it turns out the Bible is true.
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Ebolaworld, it will be great if you start making animation stories on the Quran as well They are almost identical to the Bible. But there are few funny ones not mentioned.Like Muhammed flying to the "seventh sky on top of a donkey with wings".
shotta0121 6 days ago
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shotta0121 6 days ago
These top comments are disconcerting. Atheists and agnostics are becoming just as bad as the religious assholes who shoved the Bible down people's throats. Let people believe what they want to believe and if that bothers you, tough shit. I'm talking to everyone. Loved the video though. Love Sam T.
babymariemerchant 6 days ago
loooool at 5:24
Kursat484 1 month ago
So noah went and got 2 of each animal around the world including not found Australia, America, Asia, or the little island of Komodo? And them didn't document his findings, or tell anyone of them!
StormtrooperTalk 1 month ago
Too literal lol
tacosthename 2 months ago
These videos are so funny but i think someone takes the bible way i literal
tacosthename 2 months ago
It's me
sootsandboots 2 months ago
You turned Noah into Al Gore!! Awesome!!
Hewylewis 2 months ago
my father told me that he didnt think bible storys should be taken litrally. he thinks that thay are all just storys with the same message. im god, dont fuck with me.
TMeerkat8 2 months ago
god: "don't mess with me i can kill you"
me: "bring it...i'm waiting"
JEL625 3 months ago
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@JEL625 ""god: "don't mess with me i can kill you"
me: "bring it..""
What an idiot!
Locomotive sees you standing on the tracks and sounds whistle.
YOU: I aint moving... bring it!
j919or 2 months ago
wwwwwttttttttttttttttttttttfffffffffffff
kaysrgudxxx27 3 months ago
Wait. No Nephilims? Why does every story, movie, comic, cartoon always skip over the Nephilims/Giants?
CosmicGrounds 4 months ago
@CosmicGrounds Yeah man, I would think the Nephilims and Atlantis were real, and there's lots of fucking and cannibalism going on.
anythingnew 2 months ago
has it never occured to anyone, that the bible is allegory, a simple representation of morals?
xXTotalDIsCordXx 4 months ago
@xXTotalDIsCordXx press the like button you retardedah
MNKYER 4 months ago
@MNKYER make me :P
xXTotalDIsCordXx 4 months ago
u kno ur sinning .... and this video is making fun of god n u will be punished for this if u dont ask for forgiveness from god. yea it might be funny but its wrong. and the whole reason why we are here on this earth is to be tested. and who every passes gets to life with god in heaven forever, but u have to be born again. i dont know if u kno that or if u are a christian. but i would like to know why u are making these videos.
seriousluv1 5 months ago
but i like religion for one thing...they have nice stories. not one story is boring....good for bed time
garizable 6 months ago
who knows how the world was made or what is life. but there is one thing for sure....human made gods sucks and dont exist.
garizable 6 months ago
I think Christianity and all major religions are losing the fight since the birth of the internet and free exchange of information. This can happen if rational people are allowed a chance to congregate and fight back. Theists are strong because they come in numbers ie. gather in a church and reinforces each other's "faith". Atheists now come together on the internet, and are winning debates everywhere. You can't stop the things that just makes sense... Its time to end the bible madness.
soonny002 6 months ago 13
@soonny002 Let's just make sure we end the Koran madness as well!
politicoochie09 2 months ago 4
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saidrahali2 1 month ago
@soonny002 you know that cirstianity is not the only religion right and there are many reigions that corraspond with scientific theory
barrow29 2 months ago
@soonny002 I will cry when the internet is destroyed.... This is the greatest invention to the sharing of knowledge ever....
anythingnew 2 months ago
@soonny002 I may be an atheist but I still believe in ghosts because I want to and its kinda fun to believe in such things it makes things more interesting. But I have this to say you are technically judging people on the believes, is that really a moral highroad, how is that different then what they do. Just pointing this out Believe in what makes you happy and don't let others tell you are judge you for it. ur plan is to make them stop believing just because u think ur believes are better
JDLOCKON 1 month ago
@JDLOCKON sorry for the bad grammar
JDLOCKON 1 month ago
@JDLOCKON I believe in the pursuit of truth. Let it be ghost or god, I believe in the pursuit of the truth of it's presence. And I acknowledge that we simply can't live our lives based entirely on evidence, hence instead of believing that our beliefs are true, let it be god or ghosts, it's better to say "I don't know ". Live your life as you want. But it is arrogant to believe we know it all when we're barely scratching the surface. The fun is in finding out, not simply believing that we "know".
soonny002 1 month ago
@soonny002 That's what I was saying, not worded as well though. :)
JDLOCKON 1 month ago
They were not smart enough to build boats so they drowned.
MegaMORGMAN 6 months ago
Y'all ever think that maybe...just MAYBE that Lucifer is the better man here? I mean...he's not writing a book dissing god...maybe gods just a sore loser and an asshole who hates people having a good time...just a thought...
scootkh 6 months ago
@scootkh Or maybe they're both dicks, but God can afford a better PR guy...
LaLongeCarbine 4 months ago
@LaLongeCarbine That thought is probable and admissable...My thought is that maybe lucifer is wanting to be nice to us...think about it..if the story is true...the tree of knowledge of good and evil...and we get given the knowledge...God was keeping it from us...all through the buy bull you read about how god says ' don't murder' Unless its somone else I tell you too....genocide. etc. Just sayin'....
scootkh 4 months ago
Noah:"Well im not cleaning this mess up, I dont care what God says"
God:"CLEAN THAT SHIT UP BITCH, Or ILL KILL YOU"
Noah:"...OK"
That would have been hilarious
kemoblue4u 6 months ago
Noah's Ark is the shit but there is something even better. Mormonism. You get alien space gods, Elohim is a pimp, and the book is full of action. BEST FUCKING STORY EVER, WATCH THEIR CARTOONS THOSE ARE THE BEST!
986jaritchie101 7 months ago
the bible is just a giant set of books that contradicts itself. i love these little 'toons cuz they do point out a lot of the obvious things ive wondered about. ESPECIALLY the whole 'repopulate' the earth thing.
wetness6988 7 months ago
There are far better stories for children than the nonsense and falsehoods of the bible
rememberthename33 7 months ago
did anybody find it odd that there just happened to be only one boat in the world during this fictional flood
pistolpete667 7 months ago
More lies of the book of rediculous.
MrJohnnyrace 7 months ago
You know I like you ebolaworld,until you started making fun of Christianity.Not the video,but your responses from people.
YourNumberOneSource 7 months ago
@YourNumberOneSource
can you really blame him for mocking christianity? have you read the christian(mostly jewish with some added books) "scriptures"? they contain tales of unicorns, and floods and a vengeful, tantrum-prone, bloodthristy, all loving, rape-approving, murderous, unmerciful, merciful, all knowing, not-all-knowing, and all in all grotesque caricature of god. and they believe this collection of books(written by a bunch of jews and chosen by a bunch of romans) to be the word of god!
sabin97 7 months ago
@sabin97 Yes,I'm a Christian.I guess if someone mocked Atheism and used Christian resources you would get mad to.Also a rape approving God?Give me the scripture.He denies all sexual immorality and only thinks sex is okay until marriage.Bloodthirsty?LOL scripture please.Unmeriful?Nope.And I laugh at you when you say unicorns because Unicorns is never said in the bible,only the KJV and when they say unicorns it's a translation for something else.Also,Noahs arks was found so you fail.Scripture plz
YourNumberOneSource 7 months ago
@YourNumberOneSource
i dont care about atheism, i'm not one of them so i cant be offended. and it would be a bit hard to mock non-belief. i recommend you read deuteronomy 22:28-29. i think you mean after, not until.jeremiah 50:21-22.
wow the unicorn is even more interesting, search answersingenesis, they try to say unicorns existed.
when was the ark found? it would have been in the news all over the world. i do not remember such wonderful news......
sabin97 7 months ago
@sabin97 I suggest your read something else other than the KJV , LOL
It's translated as a wild ox,same with other English translations,do some more research if you can't argue the word of God.
YourNumberOneSource 7 months ago
@YourNumberOneSource
i corroborate in biblegateway, several versions and several languages.
which version do you say is the true "word of god"? there are almost as many versions of the bible as there are versions of christianity...
sabin97 7 months ago
@YourNumberOneSource haha Noah's ark found? Gimme me a break =)
Samir08 7 months ago
Its called the Buy Bull for good reasons.
MrJohnnyrace 7 months ago
FACT: "Eretz" can mean "land".
FACT: The "face of the whole earth" can be localized, e.g. Exodus 10:5, 15.
FACT: There was no mass extinction of living things only a few thousand years ago.
CONCLUSION: The account is of a localized flood.
If the account is unreliable, then from the text of Genesis and the laws of physics, LOGICALLY CONCLUDE that the account tells of a global flood-extinction...
PrinceWalter 8 months ago
@PrinceWalter it says that the earth(land) split in the days of peleg(noah's great great great grandson)
megatrondefeater 7 months ago
"Noah dont question me, I can fucking kill you"
XD
ninearthify 8 months ago
Lmao "I'm god... Damit"
Noahthebeast09 8 months ago
hahaha, i'm sure christians are gonna argue that this isn't what happened because the bible makes no claim that god ever went to get the mail
Nixom1334 8 months ago
Actually, I 've often though that Penguins would have had the best chance to survive the flood. But after the dead fish and mollusks rotted, they'd have been out of luck.
HConstantine 8 months ago
I wonder how much is 15 cubit is nowdays as mentioned in the bible? Anyways, I ain't a math genious but there's a calculation discrepancy somwhere lol.
blackarawak83 8 months ago
ebolaworld, GENIOUS cartoon! when will you release more?
kutunets 8 months ago
Whoever made this video the world is not a oval but these videos are funny
MATTcodvids 8 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
whoever made this video, you should probably read the bible before you make a cartoon about it. God bless you and I really hope you think before you act.
panzoncastellanos1 9 months ago
@panzoncastellanos1 I had to read it to make the video. This is obvious as the cartoon contains many direct quotes written on the screen.
ebolaworld 9 months ago 14
@ebolaworld you read the entire bible? and you still made this video? im sure from reading the bible you would have thought differently of God, and his word. What do you think?
panzoncastellanos1 8 months ago
@panzoncastellanos1 Obviously he has his opnion about the old testment, you should repect it. I agree with him the old testment make no sense and yes I've read the bible
kutunets 8 months ago
@panzoncastellanos1 shut up stupid
Omegawerewolfx 8 months ago
@panzoncastellanos1 I see what you mean, He didn't take into account the extra clean animals for sacrifice. That's a big difference, and really vitiates the whole point of the video.
HConstantine 8 months ago
@panzoncastellanos1 have U read the bible? This is exactly how it happened...
nanaforiod 8 months ago
This brings up all sorts of fun logistical problems for ancient Noah...
First of all, he has to send an expedition team to Australia to get them Kangaroos, then he has to send another team to the Pole to get the Bears (I wonder how the bears survived in the Middle east).
Hey, don't forget the Blue whales - I hear them mofos are BIG.
Fun Fun Fun!!
ezemdi 9 months ago
@ezemdi Think about that last animal. Blue Whales? He didn't have to gather aquatic animals jackass, the world was flooded, I think the animals that live in the water would be just fine.
zirconUK78 8 months ago
@ezemdi
Australia is not sequitur to the sons of haAdam. Your facts re uncoordinated.
PrinceWalter 8 months ago
lol vote republican
theRYNchannel 9 months ago
So 1 man and his 4 sons built a ship that is the size of an aircraft carrier or bigger and some how fit 2 of every animals on earth which can fill an area the size of the state of Florida into a ship...There is a lot inbreeding afterwards that why you see 3 races of humans...more proof that Judism and Christianity are scams to enslave people. Like animals can swim across the oceans from Australia and walk across the desserts and climb the mountains to come to Isreal to get on a ship. FUCK YOU!
BBradshawProductions 9 months ago
@BBradshawProductions Uuhhhh which part is hard to believe?
dredandmrbears 9 months ago
this was offensive
shindude5 9 months ago
@shindude5 in what way?
jjcrazi 9 months ago
@shindude5 ofensive in what way?
kutunets 8 months ago
this was offensive
shindude5 9 months ago
I love God
SongSayWat 10 months ago
I can fuckin kill u! :D:D:D
555bigi 10 months ago
argue with a christian is like arguing with a television it don't listen to you ever and it keeps talking to you when you are not interested.
ukgreaterlondon 10 months ago 2
This comment has received too many negative votes show
If the bible Was as this protrayed, I wouldnt believe... but The title of these videos are indeed correct. 'messed up' so I encourage all to actually read/study what the Bible says to get it straight. :-) since people don't like to read that book any more, I almost wanna say I double dare ya. :-) you'll like it.
BikerMike7381 1 year ago
@BikerMike7381 No, it really is pretty much just like this in the bible. Obviously the dialogue isn't the same, but that's for comedic purposes. If you actually HAVE read the biblical account of the flood and still believe it... Wow man, I feel pretty bad for you.
fudrick43 11 months ago
@BikerMike7381 I had to read it to make these stories. Luckily each story in the bible is more hilarious than the last. I can make a living off this. :P
ebolaworld 10 months ago 50
@ebolaworld Shit! I was going to vote up and voted down by mistake and I don't know how to undo that.
servidor32 4 months ago
@BikerMike7381 What's the difference between this and the bible?
HConstantine 8 months ago
@BikerMike7381 yeah actually according to recent studies atheists actually have more biblical knoledge on average than christians, along with this most of the atheists i have spoke to became atheist because they read the bible i have read it and yeah it doesnt make any sense at all
lonewolfM16 8 months ago
@BikerMike7381 Have you read the bible? Even if you tell the Bare Bones of the Original story its goofy. Lets see, 2 of every land animal on a boat.... LOL, do a sum of the area of every species on this earth then double it, multiply that sum by 2. Then laugh a little. Now I would like you to Sum up the weight and multiply by two then laugh... Then add in the weight and area of food needed to feed all those creatures... Then laugh..... Its a damn riot that book is.
jkrobertson88 8 months ago
@jkrobertson88 hmmm that would be funny, - to imagine a boat the size of the state of texas. but as it defines 'kind' to mean the 'flesh of beasts, fish, foul, and man, then he could've done that with a row boat. I know how people protray religion and such to be stupid, but with a little good thinking and studying, if there is a 'God as it describes, then all can make sense.
BikerMike7381 8 months ago
@BikerMike7381 no matter how it defines it, the premise of the story is that all the animals on earth that wouldn't survive in water would need to be in pairs to get on the boat. I guess I am saying look at all the animals we have, and even if Christians bend on micro-evolution the boat needed to carry all of them would be ridiculously large, without the food included. Also the carnivores would have had to eat meat because they can't survive on plants.
jkrobertson88 8 months ago
@BikerMike7381 What utter nonsense, not only is this story copied from much older Babylonian texts, and not only does the bible contradict itself multiple times in telling the actual story (eg. it says 2 of each then it says 7 of each) but it is also demonstrably false, there is overwhelming proof that this event never even occurred and to think that it did and that a global flood killed everything requires incredible credulity and ignorance. This nonsense story wouldn't even make a good parable
rememberthename33 7 months ago
@BikerMike7381 forcing your religion down people throats eh
Xemnort2x 4 months ago
God: "Noah. Don't fuckin question me! I can kill you!"
PadunkaJunk 1 year ago
So if God said he wouldn't ever fuck the earth over again and kill massive numbers of people because they were evil, whats with this whole End of Days business in Revelations??? Sounds even worse then the flood. Damn double-crossin' deity!
Fhilbo 1 year ago 29
@Fhilbo SHHHH you're making too much sense. People may learn something.
ebolaworld 10 months ago 42
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@ebolaworld
"SHHHH you're making too much sense. "
Actually fundies will point out god only ever promised not to even fuck everything up again WITH a global flood. Which is really just a way of saying that god doesn't like his death and destruction getting stale.
uvauva2 10 months ago
@ebolaworld XD
silentjoe2 5 months ago
@ebolaworld Hey, couple questions
1. Why did it say 150 days later when the Bible says it rained for 40 days and nights
2. Just out of curiosity, are you actualy a Christian? :P
TheMundleBundle 4 months ago
@Fhilbo actually, it's said in the bible that god won't bring flood upon the earth again.
it didn't say that he he won't destroy it in a diffirent way...
Yorsefener 10 months ago
@Yorsefener well i had sex with your sister, so neener neener
Fhilbo 10 months ago
@Fhilbo He just said he wouldn't flood it again. He promised the fire next time.
HConstantine 8 months ago
@Fhilbo
Not sequitur. The "end" is not written to be with a flood. 2 Pe 3:7.
PrinceWalter 8 months ago
@Fhilbo He said he wouldn't destroy it with water.
nate102205 5 months ago
@Fhilbo actually, he said he would never destroy the earth with a flood again, so he won't. See, he never breaks a promise and never lies.
runescapejailman 4 months ago
@Fhilbo the church of god - his pl- are going to go with him, and darkness will rule it all because god or his pl are not going to by there. That is why things are going to get bad.
Roger58g 4 months ago
@Fhilbo Well... Technically God said he would never kill "massive numbers of people" with a flood because they were evil ever again. As a matter of fact he promised to use fire next time. Nuclear apocalypse anyone? :D
Timberwolfz7 3 months ago
@Timberwolfz7 Duuude. Just, just...No.
Kurostyle21 2 months ago
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The BIBLE is the MARK of the BEAST! Constantine (1st beast) legalized Christianity and had 50 bibles compiled. King James, homo (2nd beast) 666 # of a man, born 1566, 6th of Scotland, authorized 66 book bible, image of God's word, carried in your hand, memorized in your head, made to speak (the bible says) and is used as an object of worship. Your faith will fail.
BIBLEisMARKofBEAST 1 year ago
it is a shame that gay distort the rainbow.
RBHILL300 1 year ago
greatest line ever...Noah dont question me I could fucking kill you
XXsoshiXX 1 year ago
ass.
CoolioMango 1 year ago
If that's how you wanna look at it. I see it more as disrespecting your parents your whole life and hating them then expecting them to bail you out of trouble while you continue to constantly disrespect them.
JerryWayne3 1 year ago
@JerryWayne3 Jesus drinks pee
freeofjesus 1 year ago
Thsi is not even accurate. If you want to bash on someone's beliefs, shouldn't you at least follow what the story says.
JerryWayne3 1 year ago
@JerryWayne3 man, this is a parody, it is not supposed to be literal interpretations, still it is very close to what the bible says. you must be one of those selfproclaimed christians who has never read the bible. Anyway the text you can read as subtitles in the video is what is actually written in the bible.
donnomar 8 months ago
Man's minds are messed up,not God's truth!
vrghiks 1 year ago
oh my,...people,...........
MikolkaPro 1 year ago
"God" (lets say there is one for argument) wants to use violence on you if you don't agree with him.
TheFashionbugs 1 year ago
@TheFashionbugs LOL,, Dont question him Fashionbug,,, cuz he could fking kill you!!,,LOLOL
carpnter2000 10 months ago
this has been proven wrong XDD
Also, for adam and eve to be true, then we would all be related and incest would have to have been used LOL
Aidan0128 1 year ago
Yeah, religion makes so much sense...lol hahahaha ''How about sacrificing me up some animals?'' hahaha
MrDanteaguilar 1 year ago
wow i cant believe how much i enjoyed this.
speedmetal99 1 year ago
that was funny as hell
Jayjon81 1 year ago
Who did Noah's kids breed with to repopulate the Earth? Hhmmmmm...
crybllrd 1 year ago
@crybllrd - ah, I was just thinking that. I think the bible actually does say that his kids and THEIR husbands and wives came aboard the ol' party boat...
BUT - think about it - what about the offspring of the two-of-every-kind of animal he saved? Think about it... this is like Adam and Eve TIMES A TRILLION!!!
EVERY ANIMAL IS A TEXAN!@!!!!!!
freakystyley4000 1 year ago
@freakystyley4000 I'm texan and I'm not an imbred moron. I take offense every time someone bashes people in texas. Not everyone from texas is an ignorant moron just as not everyone who lives in alabama is a racist. I do not believe in the bible and I do not go on "fag drags" or "nigger hunts". Please don't make any ignorant statements towards texas again. We're not all that bad ;)
MansonFan64 1 year ago
@MansonFan64 - thanks for taking my comment in stride... don't worry mate, being a Texan is the American equivalent of being a Tasmanian... or worse; a New Zealander!!! Hehe.
freakystyley4000 1 year ago
Al Gore, funny
ceezmad1 1 year ago
Hilarious when bible thumpers praise god/jesus - then follow that up with a threat of hell to those that don't believe. Another organization built on terror. Can you see it?
robbylucien 1 year ago
let me get this straight... it has become common belief that there is some omnipotent being that created everyone, if so who or what created god? we believe all this shit because some book told us too, honestly aren't we a little smarter than that? also a good deal of cristians are homophobic, thats not a belief, that's being an asshole! if i wrote that there is a huge dick monster that will suck you down its dickhole would you believe me... NO, so why believe this. THINK FOR YOURSELVES!
sharpshoe1 1 year ago
@sharpshoe1 It gets better. There's more people who believe this than those who are smart enough not to. And it gets even better. Some people who are smart enough not to fall for it think that everything is good and well between believers and non-believers. And think that we should stay quiet and let time solve any conflict.
UltraComboer 1 year ago
how the hell was the ark floating in 5 feet of water? gopher wood must be pretty damn light,
viking977 1 year ago
Breaking News!!......... God is a Black Woman!
Flaytt744 1 year ago
Yo Noah! did u also get 2 sets of Ebola, Aids Viruses? ha ha ha!
Flaytt744 1 year ago
This Just In... moses invented bowling. he was the first to pick up a 7-10 split. and when he did they partied like it was .0099. everyone knows moses said "let my people go." but what he really said was "let my people go BOWLING." so now you know.
peace, lardo.
lardo444 1 year ago
This has been flagged as spam show
THIS JUST IN...moses invented bowling. he was the first to pick up a 7-10 split. they partied like it was .0099 when he did it. everybody knows moses said "let my people go." but what he really said was......"LET MY PEOPLE GO BOWLING!!!!!" now you know. if you dont believe me look for yourself in the gospel of Frank, chapter 7 verse 18.
peace, lardo.
lardo444 1 year ago
Did anyone see that sign that says "vote republican" when the world became "corrupt"? hilarious
KongKit 1 year ago
@drpepperdre Ugh... responding to some close-minded God beliving person who left a comment 1 year ago seems pointless, but I'm going there!
First off all, if you're a people that does not know anything, naturally, they will start believing in higher powers, I can respect people believing in a religion, but only if they're respecting that I've chosen to not believe in it. Basically, you're close-minded, I've read about religion, but have you read on science? You should.
sweden0wns 1 year ago
why do the biblethumpers not see this?i think they wont see it.they are the ones that are blind.
witchcerridwen 1 year ago
Comment removed
1Dudelove 1 year ago
Yeah, even as a kid I had big issues with this pile of biblical bullshit.... I mean, okay ignoring the fact the entire world get completely covered in water, oh and the time needed to collect two of each kind of animal and the size the boat would need to be..... it always confused me.... why the fucking hell would you build a boat and put sharks and fish in it..... when the world is flooded?
WTF?!!?!?!
scopeophile 1 year ago
they just found the ark btw
sen187 1 year ago
@sen187 ; yes, they found yet another ark! golly, that's like what--- more than 300 arks found so far?
Desertphile 1 year ago
I seriously want to see the story of Job, where God and Satan have a bet on if Job will still worship god after God and Satan litteraly beat the shit out of him.
1Dudelove 1 year ago
@1Dudelove Whoa whoa. How does that story go?
RClelland 1 year ago
@RClelland...Apparenlty, Satan tells god that Job would never praise him if bad things happened to him...God basically said "Oh yeah? watch THIS!" and though various catastrophies, destroyes Jobs life by killing all his family and farmers, kills all his animals, destroys his home and gives him diseases...Job, being naieve, still praises god, so god gives him better things...but it doesnt take away the fact that he treated him like shit just to prove a point to satan.
1Dudelove 1 year ago
@1Dudelove it was a test of FAITH..... and it pleased God greatly that his His servant believes/fears and Honours him as the one and true God and for that Job is probably in his mansion kicking it back watching thhe game /..hahah j/k
generalcash 1 year ago
@generalcash..It would still be funny to see a "Messed up Bible stories" version, It could have god and satan at the casino dressed in tuxedos and smoking cigars, placing bets and watching Job react to hazards.
1Dudelove 1 year ago
God : "...I will destroy them with the earth"
Noah : "So, you're going to use violence to make the world less violent?"
(uncomfortable pause)
1Dudelove 1 year ago 40
@1Dudelove God brought the flood to clean the Earth of evil and to introduce good, some will view this as violence against violence but few know that it was an act of love, thats why He seeked out noah and his family because they were the only believers that kept worshipping, He only destroyed the evil, and He will do it again in the end, only evil needs to fear Him, and the wrath He brings
zipitup75 1 year ago
@zipitup75 Mankind must have been very very evil indeed to make Almighty God wish He had never made us.... *shakes head* It's hard enough hearing a parent tell you that you should have been aborted or something, it's another level of fail to find out that God wishes He never created you and your species....dang...
dealmaker007 1 year ago
@dealmaker007 yes they were very evil,and he cleanse the earth of them, and saved the rightous, and another thing, alot of these people couldve been saved if they wouldve believed God told Noah to build the ark, but they mocked him and laugh at him, which is the same as mocking God Himself
zipitup75 1 year ago
@zipitup75 This is true too and still has implications today. We seem to be approaching what may be end times for all we know, and the writing is getting to be on the wall, but many still mock! :(
dealmaker007 1 year ago
@dealmaker007 True, they're is alot of evil in the world,some people dont value the life of others anymore, they will kill dozens without hesitation nor remorse, and just the mention of God can anger people to the point where they want to hurt you, you are completely right we are in the end times, but the atheist wants to accept all this evil as being normal, and make it there life's work to try to disprove God
zipitup75 1 year ago
@dealmaker007 What was that bible quote that said, a rapist must pay the victim's father 20 pieces of silver, and be forced to marry the victim to atone?
Deadperson213 1 year ago
@Deadperson213 Sounds familiar. What's your opinion of it?
dealmaker007 1 year ago
@zipitup75 i think u missed the point of the video. pls review , and this time look at the entire picture, and ask more "out of the box" questions.
m3xicanSuperman 1 year ago
@m3xicanSuperman i get it its a parody of the great flood i know that, but people that are not familiar with the bible, will turn away from God, so i need to explain it
zipitup75 1 year ago
@zipitup75 I wish that people were more familiar with the bible, it would save a lot of people a lot of time :)
m3xicanSuperman 1 year ago
@1Dudelove can't be THAT ridiculous...
nw5111 8 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
OMG.. GUESS WHAT?.... Once you start reading this you can not stop or something very bad will happen to you(what happen to me). I am 10 years old i died today at 11:00.I was hit by a car.I have very many scars. I am invisible so you can not see me!!If you dont post this on 10 statuses you will die in the middle of the night tonight!!!If you dont do this you will die!!!YOUR DEATH TIME STARTS...........NOW
chickpixie1 1 year ago
lmfao im a christian lmao go getting the mail dum de dum de dum de dum lol
MegaNiamhy 1 year ago
MumblingMickey why don't you believe in God?
killegnor 1 year ago
lmao "i know what im doing...im GOD"
msking1991 2 years ago
aww you left out the best part: getting wasted in a vineyard right after he leaves the ark and then being discovered unconscious and naked in his tent by his sons!!! >:P lol
avatarfan08 2 years ago
This is sacrilegious!
dars2607 2 years ago
Sacreligious and completely fucking awesome!
ZShort1985 2 years ago
@dars2607 it certainly would be... if the Noah thing in the bible wasn't so fucking stupid!
you gonna also tell me that Iraq really had WMD and that jews really are rats! lol
After all... that's what people were told in the past! and that's just the recent past!
seriously.. if you refuse to use your mind..you deserve everything coming to you!
MumblingMickey 1 year ago
@MumblingMickey I do use my mind. Just because I believe in God and in the Bible doesn't mean I'm stupid. A little bit of respect would suit you. And I don't call Jews rats or anything like that.
dars2607 4 months ago
@dars2607 well if thats the way you feel at this point in your life and you truly think you are not simply an average religions dingbat... then can I suggest you stop viewing videos such as the one above.
From what I have heard no good will come of you looking for explanations other than those offered to you by religions authorities...
At the end of the day its your life...and if you are young then such questions will almost certainly lead to problems you don't need or want.
MumblingMickey 4 months ago
@dars2607 Use of ones mind precludes belief in ancient superstition and fairy tales.
GhostsOfKrysmasPast 4 months ago
@dars2607 Firstly... number one... I certainly DID NOT refer to anyone as "rats or anything like that."
Please read my comment again... it might give you an idea why I would suggest you are not using your mind... in this case you read my comment to mean precisely the opposite of the point I was making. That clearly is neither sensible... nor intelligible.
And I would refer you to the idea that 'respect' is earned. So when someone makes a stupid proposition it gets the respect it deserves.
MumblingMickey 3 months ago
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@dars2607 Firstly... number one... I certainly DID NOT refer to anyone as "rats or anything like that."
Please read my comment again... it might give you an idea why I would suggest you are not using your mind... in this case you read my comment to mean precisely the opposite of the point I was making. That clearly is neither sensible... nor intelligible.
And I would refer you to the idea that 'respect' is earned. So when someone makes a stupid proposition it gets the respect it deserves.
MumblingMickey 3 months ago
Of course Noah would have a Southern accent XD
ProdigalWhail 2 years ago
How did Noah repopulate the Earth with humans after the extreme flood?
FireStormBaller 2 years ago
I know this is gonna sound gross,but back then,it was okay to have a child with a relative.I'm a Christian and feel bad for watching this stuff,but it's just so funny lol.
durza404isback 2 years ago
Hmm. I guess that can be true. Because then how did Cain's and his wife's offsprings have offsprings? They had to do it together.
FireStormBaller 2 years ago
@durza404isback
You feel bad?!?!? you mean you feel sorta stupid! After all... if Jonah was bullshit... ad Adam and eve were bullshit... then what reason did Jesus have for appearing... to remove the original sin that was also bullshit?!?!?
Maybe your not as Christian you think?
lol
MumblingMickey 1 year ago
Noah was on the ark with his wife, 3 sons, and their 3 wives. Interestingly enough, a reasonable assumption of population growth rate (0.5 percent) fits with a population that began about 4000 years ago, not with a human history of millions of years. As it turns out the Bible is true.
101rstr 2 years ago