Added: 3 months ago
From: TanteMaries
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  • Give me some of that mother fucking drumstick now u bitch. I'm hungry

  • I'm in Hawaii. For some reason turkeys are on sale for $5 each. 17lb. birds. I got 3. Oscars are on in a few hours and I got turkey sammiches for 2 weks bitches!!

  • turkey is in the oven right now

  • she clearly doesn't know her shit and isn't a "culinary professional" if she can't make turkey taste good. my mom can make turkey taste better than chicken. so quit your job.

  • She's kind of a bitch. I LOVE IT.

  • I forgot to finish this video yesterday because of that Turkey Snowball video on the right.

  • Wild turkey does taste good, only commercial turkeys taste like cardboard. I've made some world class damn good turkeys and I've only been cooking for a few years. Brining is essential for a good turkey, If you've been teaching chefs for 40 years then you should know that.

  • LOL< your funny as sh*t

  • Turkey never cooks perfectly, so get your guests rat-faced before serving - they're not going to know the difference anyway.

    Great advice!

  • This is so fuckin funny...she's a trip

  • LOVE MARY

    

  • Charismatic

  • I'm sad that I didn't have her guiding me this year!! Hysterical, simple, brilliant!!

  • I hate following directions, I love this video!

  • Dear Marie, I`m so glad to met you yesterday on the p.s plane! I love your video. Greetings from switzerland, Sven

  • I think you're over thinking this. I just drink the wine, stalk and kill the Turkey with my bare hands and then eat it raw. After a bottle and a half of pinot, it's a fair fight.

  • @EukaryoteVoter - one of my favoritist comments on youtube ever.

  • what i what to know is what we should put in the f*cking oven for christmas?!

    

  • I love :) Thank you so much tante marie :)

  • She is awesome..Now I want turkey..

  • I hate making turkey. I love this video

  • "For your health!"

    (I wasn't the only one expecting/hoping that she'd say it was I?)

  • Obviously Mary has never smoked a turkey.. It's the only way to go.. Baked turkey does taste like cardboard.. however smoking a turkey gives it flavor.. lots of flavor

    Do not confuse SMOKING a turkey with BBQ-ing one.. No BBQ sauce involved

    Salt ,pepper and slather with melted butter.. charcoal smoke for about 4-5 hrs on medium.. Juicy and delicious.. and of course you do NOT stuff the turkey when smoking

  • When Mary makes gravy, she mentions BEURRE MANIE (brrr-man-yay). I looked it up, it is equal parts butter and flour kneaded together so when it is mixed into the sauce it releases the flour without lumps. As Mary says, it requires cooking to remove the raw flour flavor... five minutes, according to our fantastic instructor. LOVE THIS LESSON MARY, I agree with all your points and the more wine, the better the turkey!

  • I f*cking love this woman. She's my new Paula Dean. lol

  • @DazedConfused989 I also love this woman, but must chime in that "Paula Deen" is silly and Mary is no-nonsense.

  • dont even stuff the fucking turkey...just stick it in the roasting pay and roast the fucker. then drink the bottle of pinot noir or pink champagne. afterward you kill the bottle, you wont care about the turkey. make reservations at your favorite chinese restaurant. they cook and clearn for you. best of all your friends and relatives dont come to your house.

  • I'm really glad she stayed in the kitchen, or you know...I would have to get backup to fucking keep her in their and make me a sandwich.

  • lolol BIG BREAST AND SHORT LEGS LOLOLOLOL

  • Its fun when a big bird names the same of a country

  • Wow, some people commenting on this video are wayyy too bitchy. They are the type of people everyone wants to slap (at least metaphorically) when they hear some stupid uptight comment flowing out of their mouth-holes. In contrast,this lady is the kind of person most people would love to share a meal and conversation with. So, who wins? This lady! No one is going to remember your turkey technique five years from now, but they will remember if you were a butt hole. 'nuff said.

  • Hysterical!

  • Horrible. If you can't use a stove and a digital thermometer, then you should just go out to eat. Turkey is great, just use a smaller bird 15 pound max, hormone free frozen or fresh. Her bird is too large, and she just needs to skip the butter, and cook it at 500 for 30 min, and then 270 til internal temp in breast is 165. I suggest you look at Thomas Keller's video on roasted chicken to get the truss and herbs correct, and the remainder of the techniques for trussing.

  • @bostergren You didn't get it: JUST PUT THE FUCKING TURKEY IN THE OVEN.

  • We may have to leave Sun Valley Idaho for San Fran any day now. I can match your use of language in the kitchen anyday.......cheers! XO Peter and Lisa-Marie

  • nice job with the bleeping

  • I WISH I had watched this before Thanksgiving. Would have removed so much stress.

  • What is with all these so called foodies, and these food shows, always show how to make some kind of hooch to go with your meal, I don't drink, yet, why do I feel that in order to be a good cook, I have to be a chesse eating wino?

  • it puts the turkey in the oven or it gets the hose again

  • Good video, please add annotations of what and how much of stuff you using while you cutting, squeezing etc. :) that'd be helpful and we could turn those off and on

  • What a brilliant chef. It's true: TURKEY REALLY NEVER TASTES GOOD, but can taste better when other things are added.

  • AMEN sister! wish my family would listen to you because they never listen to me!

  • she thinks it's great that the legs spread

  • @bewaretoiletpaper LOL I caught that! So stupid LMAO

  • I wish my grandma was this cool.

  • i fucking love you.

  • Amen Momma.Actually it's better with Chablis Cru but drink it before you prepare the buzzard. It makes it a lot more fun and the relatives really get down to family business.

  • Ahahahahahahahahah i CRACKED UP my mom told me to stop her fault for showing me this

  • The original My Drunk Kitchen

  • So what your saying is, just put the fucking turkey in the oven, and serve plenty of alcohol for your self and guests.

  • 0:39 LOL!!!

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  • What' s her website?

    

  • What the hell is turkey stock?

  • Mary, you're my kinda gal!

  • @Hudson1910 I agree, this woman is brilliant...!

  • F*ck Yeah!!

  • I am instantly in love with this woman. What a genius! Loved every second of it.

  • I love you. Your my kinda cook! lol

  • @fivejsmakesus5 She's my kinda woman. She's a f*cking great cook. I love her manly hands. So huge and strong.

  • But'a.... Now i dont joke that way anymore. Lmao

  • mary you rock! haha love this video. happy thanksgiving to the americans. cheers.

  • Wow I really like her style.

  • less teeth and more tits honey,.. jk, lol.

  • Tits or gtfo

  • Someone has a fucking awesome grandma.

    And remember, its just a fucking turkey!

  • Mary, you made my day honey!

  • Great tits...oops i mean tips!!

  • "Turkey really never tastes good." And it takes too long to cook. Which is why I bought a Thanksgiving chicken instead :)

  • This was a lot more than just putting the fucking turkey in the oven... And why bother with the attempt at censoring if we still hear her say it?

  • Thanks, Steve!!!!!

  • Remember : don't spread the legs AFTER you drink the wine. Ya neva know !

  • She really loves her Pinot Noir

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  • Tante Marie!! LOVE LOVE LOVE your motto!!! My partner and I live in San Francisco, and we would like to take cooking classes with you!!!!! Where do I sign up?????

  • @misery94118 go to her website !!!

    

  • you are hilarious!

  • Thanks Tante Marie! What do you do with the liver!?!

  • Just the confidence builder I needed this morning. Thanks!

  • Mary - this is priceless! Love it!

  • I never laughed so much about a cooking video ;-)

    Thanks for it ! Really useful !

  • TRUTH!

  • ROFL awesome

  • Good job here...thanks for this!!

  • a Baked Ham is better but US Australians are Backwards, and its normally on Boxing Day with a Hangover, :p

  • Big breasts short legs....awesome!

  • @mightyquinn58 Those legs look unnatural

  • Best Thanksgiving advice I have ever heard.

  • I'll f*cking remember this tip! Thanx! LOL

  • Hi Jeff

    Just in case you are having a tough morning...

  • @2:08 I also think it's great that the legs sprad. HEY-YO!

  • Actually putting the butter under the skin makes for a pretty juicy turkey I have to say.

  • Great video!

    

  • I love how the bleep at 7:45 does nothing to cover the fucking.

  • LOVED IT! WHATS THE NAME OF THE SONG????

  • @LVking831

    It's Vivaldi's Four Seasons: Spring

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  • Love this video!

  • I wish you were my mom.

  • Please make more of these. Please. The world needs more of this.

  • Thanks for making me laugh I was really feeling sorry for myself missing ones who Ive lost this past year!!!!!!

  • Too true.

  • Thank You Mary. I loved your video.

  • Right....just put the fucking thing in the oven....OMG...big Love for your truth! ahhh....I can fucking do this!.Thank you...Cheers!

  • i use to joke that i was a turkey big breast and short legs.

  • I love you Aunt Mary. Thank you. I am drinking my Pinot now.

  • Best cooking teacher ever!!! Wish she would teach at my school

  • Need more video like this.

  • I couldn't have said it better myself. Though I would've added a few more expletives.

  • THANK YOU FOR THIS. People are so stupid with thanksgiving. It is a shitty meat to eat, just accept it and enjoy your family and get drunk. that's what thanksgiving is about anyways.

  • I do like her approach (hey folks, its not rocket science) but I do disagree that no matter what the turkey won't taste good. She needs to come to my house!

  • @theOGofREDS:  The wine is some type of Louis Jadot.

  • I LOVE HER!!!!

  • what kind of wine does she put into the baking ban?

  • Alton was my idol. But this woman brings it to a whole new level.

  • Now that is honest cooking. I love it!

  • Turkey is fucking amazing, this bitch is nuts.

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  • this lady rules! reminds me of how my family cooks. just F'in do it!

  • "I think it's great that the legs spread." Aunt Mary is fun!

  • Aunt Mary ROCKS

  • Ah, so refreshing! Thanks a lot for that, took a bit of my fear of cooking ;)

  • Thanks for the chuckle before work. On a side note; that's how I cook in general..It will all work out in the end.

  • Yes, the foil can be recycled!

  • She speaks great truth. Turkey doesn't taste good.

  • this is fantastic. please do more of these. and it's such a great promo for your school and food runners. thank you for this!

  • I love this!

  • rated r cooking YES!!!

  • Excellent!

  • HaHa Aunt Mary rocks!!!!

  • LOVE this. Brilliant!

    

  • Thanks for a great laugh :)'

  • I am in complete agreement.

  • More! More! You should be on the Cooking Channel.

  • more videos from Mary please! This was awesome!

  • This is Honestly the Best Cooking video I have Ever Seen! You're Awesome Mary!! <3

  • Wonderful! Great tips and very funny!

  • HAHAHAHA!! I LOVE it Mary! What a GREAT video! I'd like to have Thanksgiving at your house! Thanks so much for the brief and enjoyable cooking lesson! Steve Darr

  • I simmer turkey necks in water for 3 hours, then de-bone, add carrots, celery and onions......and cook another 45 minutes.....Great SOUP!

  • Once you go Fried,..F*ck baked!! :o)

  • I'm the only person in my family (and pretty much the only person I know) who doesn't like turkey. I like chicken, duck, goose, quail, game hen, and pretty much any other bird, but turkey just doesn't do it for me. Everyone else tells me I'm "wrong" and otherwise spazzes out when I tell them that I don't care for the taste. So glad that Marie agrees with me (somewhat) that it's "just turkey," and never really tastes great, so PUT THE FUCKING TURKEY IN THE OVEN PEOPLE! LOL

  • disagree..my turkey is fabulous, we all spend a lot of love and fun cooking w/ no booze and have a great dinner and fun..this is thanksgiving dinner folks and yes they are always perfect jsut for you

  • BRAVO Tante Marie!! Love you more each time I watch this> Always wondered what all the fuss was about with the bloody turkeys!... Thank you thank you from a french cook in Ojai!

  • I LOVE IT!!!! This is one of the best videos I have ever seen. Good on you, Aunt Mary! Awesome laissez-faire attitude.

  • Very funny, Mary...Happy Thanksgiving !

    Kay Lucas

  • fantastic. made me laugh when i really really needed one.

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  • Hi Mary - This was brilliant!

    Julie-Napa Valley

  • Dear Mary,

    I think your great! My name is Carol Frazzetta. We met many years ago, when I was a member of the International Association of Cooking Professionals. My name at that time was Carol Giudice.

    Carol

  • I love you Mary Risley, Thank you for this.....

  • awesome sauce!

  • This could be my mother or sister, if she was chain smoking too. Who cares what the oven temp or time is? It's JUST TURKEY, lol

  • pause. press 8 fast.

  • @adamjj001 YES STER LOL

  • Wonderful!!! 

  • Now THIS I would watch if they had it on Food Network! Only thing - she didn't give the oven temp or time. Several details were skipped over here.

  • First Lee Corso now Mary Risley!?!?!

  • Love it!

  • reminds us to be relaxed and amusing

  • Amen. Turkey is the reason I make four kinds of cranberry sauce.

  • This is the best!!!!

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