I remember when I got to my lowest weight people would always ask how I "stayed in shape" (of course I was far from being in shape) or how I stayed so thin. If only people knew. And of course it was triggering to hear people say I was thin, just as much as if they said I was fat. Any weight related comment can be that way. Anyway, if only people knew what we go through to be "in such good shape." They don't think about the HORRIBLE side effects....including death
This was amazing. I got to your video as a related video of a related video of a related video, and I'm glad I did. Your words were inspiring and so very powerful. Not to mention I loved to jagged rhythm. You're fighting the good fight. God Bless. :)
your story inspires me...i'm 20 years old and have been struggling with bulimia since i was 13...i'm nowhere near a full recovery but i'm getting there...and i saw ur other videos ans u are right...no one gets better with forced interventions.
i don't even know you, but you mean so much to me. thank you for doing this. really. you are such a wonderful specimen of a human being. i hope you realize that and i hope i can get my mindset up to par with yours. my health is deteriorating and i'm scared and all i want is for this to go away but unfortunately it's easier said than done. though your words help immensely.
very beautiful and authentic. this poem is a raw look at what you're experiencing.
i hope the next poem is a glimpse of the healthy you; loving your body as it is, right now; on your way to health. i used to be very thin until i had a baby and now i'm much larger. i have had to confront my own body issues. now my little girl grabs on tight to my plump belly and she giggles and giggles. she loves me as i am.
i believe you can heal completely - you're on your way.
Bravo! That's amazing how you can express your feelings. Thank you for helping people to reflect through your words! I really hope you will get better soon:)
yeah, damn, johnny. i haven't seen your stuff too much lately or been on livejournal but i think i needed to see this. thank you! this is a wicked poem and performance, so well expressed. and i'm so glad you did express it.
tired of this shit, want to start living, recovery is how we will win. a-fucking-MEN.
[p.s. i just realised although i knew you probably wouldn't remember me because we only exchanged words a few times, you definitely wouldn't under this username, so it's auracle or soundofwicked in case you're curious or that means anything.] thanks for your hard work [like, on behalf of the universe, you know?]
Your videos are inspiring. Thank you. You help me more than you know. I will keep this brief because I know you have lots of comments and subcribers. You are amazing. Have a wonderful week!
i love this... love love love this. it's so touching. thank you so much. i've been struggling so much lately - i've gotten to a healthy weight and it's the hardest thing i've ever done in my life. i feel strengthened when i hear your words and then one look in the mirror seems to shatter my motivation. i would kill for your perseverance. i truly admire you.
Wow you need to give yourself some credit. Getting to a healthy weight whether it means gaining or loosing to get there is VERY HARD and takes HARD WORK. I've been struggling with allowing weight gain to happen, it's motivating to hear someone say they are healthy. I bet you can do SO MUCH more now and that alone must feel great. Thank you for sharing hope with me.
I always say, every step forward is never a step back and every step back can be moved forward... Healing happens from within. Embrace whatever helps you fight this. I am trying the same, I don't always succeed but I never stop trying.
Oh jeeze is it a struggle, I understand. But listen, whether it's your 3rd, 1st, 100th time in recovery - recovery is whatever we make of it, what we are willing to work for, what we choose it to be. I mean crap I've been in and out for 13 years now - that's in and out of hospitals and treatment... but all that could mean little progress if I wasn't willing to fight. I bounce back and forth but I never give up, sometimes I'm better, some worse. Best to focus on whatever WORKS for you. Hugs dear:
recovery isn't just about a 'healthy body' or a 'healthy diet' it's defeating the demons + the voices inside your head that have been there for god knows how many years,
too many years in my opinion.
i know one day, every person that suffers will beat this disease,
in their own time obviously, just hopefully before it's too late.
Your tears touch me, wish I could dry them for you but in a way I'm glad I can't because it's your soul cleansing itself and that is beautiful and should be allowed, always.
I'm coming into a part of my life where I am starting to love myself, after nearly 10 years of not loving myself is the best way to put it! So thank you, your videos are always wonderful and always inspirational.
splendido, bellissimo, how in the world can you think of such words! I think you need to make this poem heard, seriously.....I mean post it everywhere its fantastic :) :)
don't give up on yourself honey! take care, and get regular massages. it's positive physical contact and really helps you to enjoy the experience of just being touched. i wish i was closer so i could help.
Hey Johnny, just subscribed to you and had a good read/ look through your channel. WHAT AN INSPIRATION! I'm anorexic/ bulimic and have been for 8 years and am on the rocky road to recovery. Thank you for your videos. This poem was absolutely incredible- what a talented young man you are. I wish you all the happiness in the world. Amy x
the poem is fantastic! great topic, great spoken word. I also like how you used the word "wordcore" which I think should be a movement started. oooh, crap! around the end the sound goes out of sink. eh, will. the face pierces are cool and your definitely not ugly but you ear things are distracting. keep doing what you love!
I Loved This! Im So Proud Of You That Ur Doing This...Ur The Inspiration!!! Ur Courage To Do This On Youtube And Do This All Together Shows How Strong U Really Are...Im So Proud Of You Even Tho I Dont Know You...Im Proud Of You.
BTW I Saw The Blog Of Ur Room.......SOOOO CUTE!!!!!!!! I Loved It! Love Ur Style!
I would be pissed at these freaks that use you as thinspiration too. Especially now that you are trying so hard to be someone who helps people to get well....not to get and stay sick. Hugs to you my brother...Taylor
I related completely to this poem. It hit me in so many places of things I went through. Most of the things actually. The worst thing to me is having no back teeth anymore. And it sucks because now I want to eat and there are lots of food I can't because I have no teeth in the back to chew it with. How fucking ironic huh? I guess I can count my lucky stars that I still have all my front teeth and it doesn't show that I lost any. You are an awesome writer Johnny. I would be pissed
Hugs. Thank you for your feedback. I was really looking forward to it and glad to come to this. I have teeth problems as well. Health conditions suck but we can learn from them and help others. I'm here for you brother. Also, I acknowledge those in the pro-ed community are sick. It's people like them who need pro minded people to help guide them out of these death trap parties done in desperation. Do you do poetry readings for you tube? I would love to hear you read your work...
I do write lots of poetry but generally not about my ED. And I have never read it aloud. Maybe I should work on that. Since I know I have an audience of one who would like to hear it. hehe
damn johnny.....you're a kick ass writer...! You and Karen have opened my eyes out a lot more, and once I move, I think I'll give my body, and as well as my life at another chance at life....I love ya Johnny! *hugs*
You are not a thinspiration, you are an inspiration to anyone who has ever suffered from an eating disorder. I respect you so much for talking about your struggle. Your videos are so raw and real and I love you for that!
i didn't choose this disease either. when people say anorexia is such horrible thing... it's like your insulting me. it makes me feel rather bad for having it.
Yeah I agree. We should start a support group. you can so be a banana lol. awsome! Ill be a pear. haha. Its such a shame there isnt more accepted role models that arent usually thin and hourglass. i wanted to start lingerie modelling to try and support this but unsure of where to start. lo. x
the lingerie modeling starts with self love and a full size mirror and a million affirmations that you actually believe when you are looking at yourself!
So perfectly done! Your rhymes and the rhythm of the poem flow together like a waterfall - in your face and all together - showing truth and honestly with every word.
I believe I know an art dealer who would like this piece... ;)
hahah i was going to bring up good old JGR but you beat me too it... i wonder what he'd think of it... it's quite startling though might be too much for the gallery, might scare people away lololol thank you for this one my sweet Cinderella!
thats awsome i love it really gettin back at those stupid thinsperation and your anorexia i love how anrgy you get that truley shows how sick off this you are and how strong and determined.
Incredible. An all completely with sense; spoken clearly an all coherent. Do u make money from ur powerful rhymes? How long did it take to transfer from ur heart to the pages from which u spoke?
Thank you my dear, very much. No money and that is completely fine with me. As for the process from thought to pen or keyboard, the art comes to me and it just starts flowing. I will literally have art lines screaming in my head and I have to run to write them down, it all flows from there. I generally give myself a night to start the piece and am morning to revise/finish it.
You inspire people in all your videos, what a powerful poem, sad and yet beautiful because it's spoken from a brilliant mind. God bless you for such a soulful piece. Take care love Margaret x x x
Hello dear, I am not offended at all. I purposely did not wear a shirt for this one. I was actually going to wear a brown paper bag and then decided I would rather go shirtless, for a few reasons: to make a statement, liberation as a transgendered male. I made sure I did not get the bones in there, the ones that will eventually be covered by more flesh. We need flesh. The ed mind can tweak anything from here to the moon, it's good to be on check with it and seperate. Thank you for doing this.
I take 100% responsibility that when you make videos
with less clothing, the e.d. voices in me often go wild and I struggle a bit with thinspiration. I know it is not your intention. Ultimately, I have become stronger recently
by working through this and similar triggers.
I hope anyone else who watches your vids can also understand that whatever our e.d. minds contort to be
thinspiration is but an opportunity to shore up another
This was so good it brought me to tears. Not in a bad way, though. Rather, it "brought me into your world" so-to-speak, and helped me understand just a bit.
Not only that, the poet in me rejoiced at how brilliantly it was written. It flows, rhymes beautifully and- above all- has a great message.
You just fucking rock. :)
Can I favorite this, or is it a little too personal for you?
I would be HONORED if you saved it to favorites, never hesitate - that's why the feature is up and I'm an open poster. Thank you so much for this feedback, it's encouraging to me not only as a friend but also as an artist and activist. HUGS
i know this because i'm on my way and i do my very best every day if i can. sometimes i'm struggling again but than i fight back to my way - vids like yours can help a lot - i'm sure. i wish you good times johnny. i love your vids outside at the sea a lot, too.
They are sick, in another kind of way and we must reach out to help them and show them this is no life at all. Recovery is always available to those willing to work for it. You will see your recovery, keep fighting my friend.
thank you for this awesome poem. thinspiration is a big lie for people who are looking for more good feelings in their life. and starving is a terrible long way is sometimes less hope and you never can win with anorexia. recovery is a long and very hard way. but possible - i'm sure. and ist's possible after 30 years.
WHAT AN ANTHEM!!!!!!! Wow wow wow. This is amazing. Seriously. I'm so proud of you. And so grateful that you are sharing these thoughts and feelings with the world. It is SOOO necessary. Your words offer a perspective that few are brave enough to express - and thank G-d your words and this energy is out there in the world to counter the negativity. I'm in awe.
You are so sweet Caroline. Thank you dear with lots of love and glitter. Btw. Can you see it now? You, me, Karen chopping up an open mic with ed activist poems? We'd blow the mofo building down!!!!!!!1
YES i can see it now!!! I have been meaning to record my piece about my eating disorder for AGES. but i figured i'd get live footage...alas that hasn't happened. so you've inspired me to just do it in the comfort of my own home. hehe. who needs a stage when everything's a stage anyway!
this is stunning. I find it as powerful, if not more-as my Game Over! rant on Anorexia. This should be read at an open mic night, def. Its too bad though that powerful pieces like this are totally snickered at & demeaned by those who KNOW they're so fucking wrong-the ProAna community. This needs some braoder attention...yes indeed. Perhaps this vid can be uploaded on the collab channel. Good idea, Karen :) thanks Karen :) GOOD JOB, my friend. I sit, in awe of your genius, my brutha.
aw thank you so much aunt-j ; )you are sweeter than maple syrup. listen, i so wish you still lived in san mateo. i would drag you to open mic night and we could both preform (i'd go first if it helped soothe the nerves some)... i have 1 in san mateo and 1 in palo alto, im not sure if they are ready for this jelly though so i have to check them out... sf would be great, i wish i could of taken advantage of the open mic nights when i lived there, all 3 times lol
If it wasn't for you and everyone else WILLING and OPEN to seeing then it would be hard for me to put my art out there, so as much gratitude to my viewers as they give me.
Wow, that was breathtaking, Johnny. I really liked it. I don't know what you're going through, but now I know how YOU feel. This was great. It was intense. You should be a writer, write a book, love! :-)
Thank my love. I am an artist and have been published and do have my own book - which is not in print at the moment due to fees ... but this is a very nice compliment. My website link in my profile is for my ED art site, you can see more there. LOVE to you
Thank you! It's like when you use those powerful of tags I feel it's very important to clarify their purpose. I have sympathy on people in the movement and understand some of the psychology of it all - which is very hard for most people to see. I guess having once been ILL AND IN IT - to an extent - it gives me more leway to understand why someone would want to join it or remain in it, bottom line: pain and sickness.
wow, this made so much sense to me. I have lately been on the brink of going back. i thank you for this. i spoke to me. I feel it really pulled me back. x
That is a very powerful set of statements. I am honored to help hold you back - please come back to this poem anytime you need the strength you feel it can provide you with. I am very proud of you.
lately I have been really suffering with my body dismorphia.I am a 20 year old woman who is a pear shape but being surrounded by imagery of the so called perfect body,the perfect hourglass.which doesnt really exist. Ive been going nuts, comparing myself to other girls in my class and my fiances exs.ive been keeping myself awake and going nuts. it took this poem today that woke me.and made me realise i am me, and no matter how much i change it wont be enough.thank you so much!
Did you know right now PEARS are in SEASON? They are EVERYWHERE! I love them, they are beautiful. I know this is off topic but it can be related to your comment if you meditate on the true meaning behind the words... and my loving intentions with lots of smiles on the side!
On another note, I can tell you that as a transgendered male - I know the whole concept of... You are whoever you feel you are. Flesh is nothing but flesh and does not validate your true self or being. Only you can create you and that person is the one you honestly feel you are... and only you will know this.
yeah i understand now. I just joke that my cleavage is my behind lol. i actually realise that its how sexy you feel not nessescarily how you look. you are awsome!
Cleavage can be super sexy! sorry, hormones sometimes come out in comments. On another note, what are your thoughts on butt cleavage? I have one friend who doesn't wear any drawers and constantly had butt cleavage hanging out, it "cracks" me up lololol love it
my cleavage is sexy. Smexy. The cab driver today--I bit him after he tried to sample the merchandise...the pervert asked me what my bra size was AFTER he put his dirty, mangy paws on my pretty ladies...I left my dna and my tetth marks on his arm and said, "Listen fuckwad-multiply the length of your dick by 10 and add your IQ. Now, back the FUCK off, or I'll call your wife, gf, finacee, or your bf and tell him/her that you just made a pass at a flamin lesbian!" Dirty boys! >:(
Karen, that is horrendous. I am so sorry that happened to you, fucking gross out city. I am glad you defended yourself but misogynists like that really upset me. It's just not acceptable behavior. I'm glad you can hold your own, unfortantly not everyone can. It's very hard to see.
oh he was a real prize, lemee tell ya. He had me get in the front seat-I dont have a problem with that. But when he leaned over & told me he was "helping me w/my seatbelt," I was like, "Fuck that, son! I dont NEED your help w/the seat belt. Look, I was retainin water last week, there's nothin stoppin me from hitting you so hard your whole family will feel it." That's when he decided that an assertive, foul-mouthed lesbian turned him on, and lunged. He was on me like pigs to shit.
yeah i got no cleavage as a b cup. ive tried bras which kinda do the trick lol. but at the same time if anyone knows a good brand let me know lol. I love your sense of humour. pears are in season it makes me feel special thank you. butt cleavage can be but i think only on the beach or somewhere where little clothing is worn anyways. here in the uk its usually cold so not normally lol. ive making myself feel bad. i was upset bc i found out o was most flat out of all the girls my fiance was with.x
I am sure there are many who will come across this and wish they had a b cup...VS and Fredricks of Hollywood have all those bra tricks. I have seen people use tape even... to lift them or even to bind them depending on the person. Regardless, it's time we start celebrating our parts! They all serve some kind of purpose! Yes! We have purpose!
Thank you dear! I changed the color about 2 weeks ago? maybe even three... same color as when I went back to brown... expresso - the light changes the color of things though, my hair and skin specifically. What shade of brown will you do? I actually really like this more natural, less radical, shade. It's given me great confidence. Today I even stood in the mirror and found beauty in little rosey apple cheeks staring back at me in the mirror as I smiled. Then I thought I was hot LOL love it
OMG Karen, it's one of my favorite things to do. I love chopping wood. I am even on a mission to find a nice oversized plaid jacket to chop the wood in. It brings me a lot of comfort. I had found some plaid coats but they were TOO big and it's dangerous when chopping wood as it can get into the way. Ps. comments on the art not the wood woman lol!!!
I love this video.
pacowillrocko 1 year ago
thank you. :)
you're amazing.
bubblepopelectronic 2 years ago
Aw that was amazing!
I remember when I got to my lowest weight people would always ask how I "stayed in shape" (of course I was far from being in shape) or how I stayed so thin. If only people knew. And of course it was triggering to hear people say I was thin, just as much as if they said I was fat. Any weight related comment can be that way. Anyway, if only people knew what we go through to be "in such good shape." They don't think about the HORRIBLE side effects....including death
sublimelmf 2 years ago
Comment removed
MissMatania 2 years ago
u r bery but i need to shedd the pounds loved it keep it strong
MsNannyme 2 years ago
You are talented! Thanks for posting, love it
Littliz 2 years ago
that was fun to 'bate to
SooperPoopProduction 2 years ago
This has been flagged as spam show
i love you gay boy
BurningStarPictures 2 years ago
wow that was amazing
jsdgsa 2 years ago
That is beautiful. Thank you for reading that to us. It brought me to tears too : '-]
silver18tiara 2 years ago
That literally brought me to tears.
Thank you for putting something positive out there. Thank you making me more scared to be anarexic then to be fat.
:)
stopsigngirl 2 years ago
This was amazing. I got to your video as a related video of a related video of a related video, and I'm glad I did. Your words were inspiring and so very powerful. Not to mention I loved to jagged rhythm. You're fighting the good fight. God Bless. :)
Iquestionsleep 2 years ago
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Hell yah
You are amazing!
Thank you so much for sharing.
You are an inspiration, not to worry I definitely mean IN and not THIN. Genius lyrics.... you should make that into music lolz.
Much Love, and Good Luck with Recovery! <3 <3 <3 <3
1234Ryley1234 2 years ago
POWERFUL!
Bparkeraw 2 years ago
I have a friend that needs to see this video. Thank you very much for sharing your piece with us. That's brilliant.
SharpestLives19 2 years ago
your story inspires me...i'm 20 years old and have been struggling with bulimia since i was 13...i'm nowhere near a full recovery but i'm getting there...and i saw ur other videos ans u are right...no one gets better with forced interventions.
CtR152 3 years ago
after you leftm y video a comment i decided to check out your video and im so glad i did, this is an amazing piece!!!
theres so many qoutes from it that i love andcould use daily to keep me in a recovery tracked mind,
keep on doing what uare because u are givin inspiration of RECOVERY, to o many ppl including myself.
missacro 3 years ago
Brillant.
Your so brave. Such an inspirational person.
xx
megzisgay 3 years ago
i don't even know you, but you mean so much to me. thank you for doing this. really. you are such a wonderful specimen of a human being. i hope you realize that and i hope i can get my mindset up to par with yours. my health is deteriorating and i'm scared and all i want is for this to go away but unfortunately it's easier said than done. though your words help immensely.
zoeoweo 3 years ago
very beautiful and authentic. this poem is a raw look at what you're experiencing.
i hope the next poem is a glimpse of the healthy you; loving your body as it is, right now; on your way to health. i used to be very thin until i had a baby and now i'm much larger. i have had to confront my own body issues. now my little girl grabs on tight to my plump belly and she giggles and giggles. she loves me as i am.
i believe you can heal completely - you're on your way.
much love,
amy
ask123321 3 years ago
Bravo! That's amazing how you can express your feelings. Thank you for helping people to reflect through your words! I really hope you will get better soon:)
italyusa79 3 years ago
Wow - I am standing with applause. Johnny, that was BRILLIANT !!! Unusual and impressive intellect ! Preach it brotha!
vP90x2009v 3 years ago
yeah, damn, johnny. i haven't seen your stuff too much lately or been on livejournal but i think i needed to see this. thank you! this is a wicked poem and performance, so well expressed. and i'm so glad you did express it.
tired of this shit, want to start living, recovery is how we will win. a-fucking-MEN.
rashedly 3 years ago
[p.s. i just realised although i knew you probably wouldn't remember me because we only exchanged words a few times, you definitely wouldn't under this username, so it's auracle or soundofwicked in case you're curious or that means anything.] thanks for your hard work [like, on behalf of the universe, you know?]
rashedly 3 years ago
Your videos are inspiring. Thank you. You help me more than you know. I will keep this brief because I know you have lots of comments and subcribers. You are amazing. Have a wonderful week!
tibbyjoys 3 years ago
i love this... love love love this. it's so touching. thank you so much. i've been struggling so much lately - i've gotten to a healthy weight and it's the hardest thing i've ever done in my life. i feel strengthened when i hear your words and then one look in the mirror seems to shatter my motivation. i would kill for your perseverance. i truly admire you.
KRSchwicht 3 years ago
Wow you need to give yourself some credit. Getting to a healthy weight whether it means gaining or loosing to get there is VERY HARD and takes HARD WORK. I've been struggling with allowing weight gain to happen, it's motivating to hear someone say they are healthy. I bet you can do SO MUCH more now and that alone must feel great. Thank you for sharing hope with me.
MyOwnStickFigure 3 years ago
thank you.. so much for that.
it has opened my eyes a lot.
& one day soon, i'm gonna fuck this disease
& be fucking happy again.
your words touched me, god bless.
tallamb 3 years ago
I always say, every step forward is never a step back and every step back can be moved forward... Healing happens from within. Embrace whatever helps you fight this. I am trying the same, I don't always succeed but I never stop trying.
MyOwnStickFigure 3 years ago
i love this.
admittedly, it made my face go ":| fuck"
but i'm in recovery [for the 3rd time...], but it truly is a fucking hard arse struggle,
that is extremely hard for people to understand properly unless they've been there or are going through it.
this is fantastic, honest, + hard hitting.
i hope you're really proud of this.
PorcelainSkinxx 3 years ago
Oh jeeze is it a struggle, I understand. But listen, whether it's your 3rd, 1st, 100th time in recovery - recovery is whatever we make of it, what we are willing to work for, what we choose it to be. I mean crap I've been in and out for 13 years now - that's in and out of hospitals and treatment... but all that could mean little progress if I wasn't willing to fight. I bounce back and forth but I never give up, sometimes I'm better, some worse. Best to focus on whatever WORKS for you. Hugs dear:
MyOwnStickFigure 3 years ago
oh definitely, i couldn't agree more.
recovery isn't just about a 'healthy body' or a 'healthy diet' it's defeating the demons + the voices inside your head that have been there for god knows how many years,
too many years in my opinion.
i know one day, every person that suffers will beat this disease,
in their own time obviously, just hopefully before it's too late.
i hope your recovery is going well aswell?
you fucking deserve it to be ! ♥
you've touched me, you're a saint.
PorcelainSkinxx 3 years ago
I absolutely adore it..
My favorite part:
"If you feed your body, you feed your brain. If you feed your disease, you feed your pain".
melleighmeimellow 3 years ago
Wow that was beautiful...
You give inspiration
to others thankyou for
shareing this :)))
moko166 3 years ago
This has been flagged as spam show
r u gay lol joking
AllenBetches 3 years ago
That was absolutely outstanding! ( I should have played the video before posting my last comment so they could have been posted together, oh well)!
happyquails 3 years ago
Thank you for your kind reply to my e-mail :) I thought I would thank you here to hold off on the e-mail.. it was much appreciated :)
happyquails 3 years ago
wow that was amazing
i admire you so much for what you are trying to do, i wish more anorexics tried to help rather than encourage others into the same trap
love
xx
jillfrostxx 3 years ago
wow
thanks
that was so great
inspiring ^_^
glitterhorror 3 years ago
wow. that was brilliant and chilling.
i couldn't turn away, it was like hit after hit of raw honesty.
you are so INSPIRATIONAL = your mind and spirit <3
God has definitely blessed you with this gift because i can surely see you touching and changing many lives (including my own :) - thank you....)
KeepbreathingforHim 3 years ago
"it was like hit after hit of raw honesty"
I cried through the whole thing. Especially the part "your always cold, bones matching that of an 85 year old"
I was ranting about that to someone yesterday and they were like "just gain some weight"
I cried through the whole thing...
skunkiefunky 3 years ago
Your tears touch me, wish I could dry them for you but in a way I'm glad I can't because it's your soul cleansing itself and that is beautiful and should be allowed, always.
MyOwnStickFigure 3 years ago
That was awesome Johnny.
Wow, I totally sat through that in awe.
I'm coming into a part of my life where I am starting to love myself, after nearly 10 years of not loving myself is the best way to put it! So thank you, your videos are always wonderful and always inspirational.
smj031 3 years ago
I just wish i was as strong as you.
ccriiss 3 years ago
amazing... you spoke it like a true poet. After that poem you have left me truely speechless!
And I agree with the other comments. You HAVE to make this heard by the world.
Thank you
JustHannah1 3 years ago
splendido, bellissimo, how in the world can you think of such words! I think you need to make this poem heard, seriously.....I mean post it everywhere its fantastic :) :)
georginamiss 3 years ago
That was very good! I really enjoyed it. And I am sorry about your condition. Good luck with your recovery.
Those ear piercings are awesome too!!!
^.^
RatGirl21 3 years ago
oh wow...i really love that!
=D
ClearUncertainty 3 years ago
don't give up on yourself honey! take care, and get regular massages. it's positive physical contact and really helps you to enjoy the experience of just being touched. i wish i was closer so i could help.
loveandbullets07 3 years ago
whoa thank you johnny ! heartbreaking!
i love you and miss you man!
jsjadednight 3 years ago
That was really great,
You have to do something with that other than youtube so more people can see it and they will understand the dangers of what you are explaining
stinkee2 3 years ago 2
Hey Johnny, just subscribed to you and had a good read/ look through your channel. WHAT AN INSPIRATION! I'm anorexic/ bulimic and have been for 8 years and am on the rocky road to recovery. Thank you for your videos. This poem was absolutely incredible- what a talented young man you are. I wish you all the happiness in the world. Amy x
ready4itnow 3 years ago
I love spoken word poetry- this is beautiful. It left me speechless and thoughtful. It has really inspired me to actually try and recover.
I also adore your rainbow ear-piercings.
<3
otherssystem 3 years ago
i love it! good luck with your recovery, you are an inspiration.
ebbsgabby2010 3 years ago
You´ve got beautiful eyes (Don´t laugh me :D)
happykecgirl 3 years ago
my biggest respects for you <3
HirikiW 3 years ago
thanks <3 that hope a bit.
I think ill acuttly give recovery i try before Its gets anyworse :(
Im jstu scare ATM,.
DevilLovingAngel 3 years ago
That was fucking hot!! i loved it truly fabulouso!!
nillasillygurly 3 years ago
Fucking awesome.You took thinspos and bitch slapped them. Congrats on some great work.
NoDramersDiva 3 years ago
Do you ever lose motivation? I'm just curious because I'm in recovery and I just can't seem to find a reason to get better anymore.
hyperfinedontbreakme 3 years ago
i LOVE this poem.you have suchh a talent.
XPrettyXSceneXGirl 3 years ago
thank you. i needed that. thank you.
flyaway3860 3 years ago
Wow, what a poem. It took me on ride from contemplation to giggles to the verge of tears. Very beautiful.
Oh, and you have the most gorgeous big brown eyes! (^_^)
Tuntenut 3 years ago
Hello Johnny!
I was wondering if you could possibly send me a message with the written text of this Wordcore piece you wrote.
{I will make sure it is copyrighted to you.}
It's for an English assignment, my teacher wants us to bring in a poem that most inspired us and read it out loud to the class.
If you decide against it that's okay.
Good luck with your recovery, Johnny!
ItsADietCokeThing 3 years ago
thank you, really appreciate this.
sheenaayk4 3 years ago
This is so fucking beautiful.
rosieee0507 3 years ago 2
You deserve a standing ovation for this vid!:] It makes me happy to see someone standing up against "thinspo" and pro-ana BS on Youtube.
Good luck with your recovery. I wish you all the best.<3
FactuaI 3 years ago
Loved the poem! Great talent
Purplexfire 3 years ago
Great poem about the horrible realities that eating disorder-sufferers go through each day. You are truly gifted and wonderful, Johnny!!
musicmamma 3 years ago
This was very beautiful and touching. I loved the way you read it too, it gave it that much more emotion.
meloncholymolly 3 years ago
This is wonderful! Could you post the words so that I can read them while I listen to you? That would be awesome!
Good luck, Johnny!
witheyeslikethese 3 years ago
Haha! I love the ending!
MrTsBastardChild 3 years ago
I really will dabble in poetry again. But the pen is so heavy right now. :/
MrTsBastardChild 3 years ago
"Leave that bitch at home" xoxo
Sia118 3 years ago
the poem is fantastic! great topic, great spoken word. I also like how you used the word "wordcore" which I think should be a movement started. oooh, crap! around the end the sound goes out of sink. eh, will. the face pierces are cool and your definitely not ugly but you ear things are distracting. keep doing what you love!
jack00008 3 years ago
I Loved This! Im So Proud Of You That Ur Doing This...Ur The Inspiration!!! Ur Courage To Do This On Youtube And Do This All Together Shows How Strong U Really Are...Im So Proud Of You Even Tho I Dont Know You...Im Proud Of You.
BTW I Saw The Blog Of Ur Room.......SOOOO CUTE!!!!!!!! I Loved It! Love Ur Style!
Hope You Continue The Awesome Work!!
XoXo
MiMi
mimiloveschris 3 years ago
That's so amazing how long did it take you to make that up? Btw i love your ear rings totally awesome ^^ keep it up i love your poetry <3
mangamad223 3 years ago
Thank you for reading this with compassion!
sh4rlurv3 3 years ago
i TOTALLY already commented this... i hate how youtube eats your stuff sometimes...
johnny... this is great. you have an incredible talent, i love spoken word/poetry stuff.
"thin is no longer in, recovery is how you win"
the message you are getting across is very important... i commend you for getting it across so eloquently and edgily...
(i don't know if 'edgily' is really a word... oh well!)
keep up it J!
ShanzeeeGirl 3 years ago
This has been flagged as spam show
I love it! Go Johnny!
sally8180 3 years ago
You deserve a standing ovation.
That was fucking incredible. You are so amazing, Johnny. <3
xTwoOfHeartsx 3 years ago
This Is Awsome Enough To Be A Book
melmovielover09 3 years ago
this is amazing. you should submit it to be published. "whatever you project is what you will reflect." i loved it.
arvi27 3 years ago
I would be pissed at these freaks that use you as thinspiration too. Especially now that you are trying so hard to be someone who helps people to get well....not to get and stay sick. Hugs to you my brother...Taylor
tayllor2900 3 years ago
I related completely to this poem. It hit me in so many places of things I went through. Most of the things actually. The worst thing to me is having no back teeth anymore. And it sucks because now I want to eat and there are lots of food I can't because I have no teeth in the back to chew it with. How fucking ironic huh? I guess I can count my lucky stars that I still have all my front teeth and it doesn't show that I lost any. You are an awesome writer Johnny. I would be pissed
tayllor2900 3 years ago
Hugs. Thank you for your feedback. I was really looking forward to it and glad to come to this. I have teeth problems as well. Health conditions suck but we can learn from them and help others. I'm here for you brother. Also, I acknowledge those in the pro-ed community are sick. It's people like them who need pro minded people to help guide them out of these death trap parties done in desperation. Do you do poetry readings for you tube? I would love to hear you read your work...
MyOwnStickFigure 3 years ago
I do write lots of poetry but generally not about my ED. And I have never read it aloud. Maybe I should work on that. Since I know I have an audience of one who would like to hear it. hehe
tayllor2900 3 years ago
damn johnny.....you're a kick ass writer...! You and Karen have opened my eyes out a lot more, and once I move, I think I'll give my body, and as well as my life at another chance at life....I love ya Johnny! *hugs*
xXpinkpiscesXx 3 years ago
Recovery starts now my love! why wait, life is at stake! sanity! health! Ah, much love to you dear, stay strong and focused on YOU.
and thank you for the kind words, much love.
MyOwnStickFigure 3 years ago
i wanna make it a dark chocolate colour :) and yesss you are S E X Y :)
SexciiShar 3 years ago
wow, you are amazing!
bananas7989 3 years ago
You are not a thinspiration, you are an inspiration to anyone who has ever suffered from an eating disorder. I respect you so much for talking about your struggle. Your videos are so raw and real and I love you for that!
lilfoxieroxie 3 years ago
i didn't choose this disease either. when people say anorexia is such horrible thing... it's like your insulting me. it makes me feel rather bad for having it.
tillyandthewalll 3 years ago
It's their ignorance...
MyOwnStickFigure 3 years ago
Oh wow! This is amazing!
kitkitwithclaws 3 years ago
: ) thank you!
MyOwnStickFigure 3 years ago
Yeah I agree. We should start a support group. you can so be a banana lol. awsome! Ill be a pear. haha. Its such a shame there isnt more accepted role models that arent usually thin and hourglass. i wanted to start lingerie modelling to try and support this but unsure of where to start. lo. x
beyonceknows 3 years ago
the lingerie modeling starts with self love and a full size mirror and a million affirmations that you actually believe when you are looking at yourself!
MyOwnStickFigure 3 years ago
i loved it!!! <3
STARdustPixi 3 years ago
thank you honey! how is the gymnastics?!
MyOwnStickFigure 3 years ago
im loving it but im just so weak, really need to build up my strength, but it'll just take time. xxxxx*******
STARdustPixi 3 years ago
So perfectly done! Your rhymes and the rhythm of the poem flow together like a waterfall - in your face and all together - showing truth and honestly with every word.
I believe I know an art dealer who would like this piece... ;)
peppernme 3 years ago
hahah i was going to bring up good old JGR but you beat me too it... i wonder what he'd think of it... it's quite startling though might be too much for the gallery, might scare people away lololol thank you for this one my sweet Cinderella!
MyOwnStickFigure 3 years ago
I LOVE this!
lilkel86 3 years ago
: ) that makes me happy!
MyOwnStickFigure 3 years ago
Sweet truth, where does reality meet surreality? Truth v. fiction of the mind. So many lies in ED.
ED isn't anybody. A sufferer is so much more than the symptom. ED may need you, but you don't need ED.
The disease doesn't care, like a virus, all it wants is to multiply and spread.
W/out you, ED is like a parasite
deprived of a host, it will shrivel up & rot from privation.
---Your Wordcore at it's best once again, honey bun.
laurenasia 3 years ago
Sweet truth in this too, so much truth. You are spot on, as always my dear. I would LOVE to see you do some spoken word and poetry readings on cam.
MyOwnStickFigure 3 years ago
thats awsome i love it really gettin back at those stupid thinsperation and your anorexia i love how anrgy you get that truley shows how sick off this you are and how strong and determined.
again snaps for johnny xoxo
dredlockshadow 3 years ago
Incredible. An all completely with sense; spoken clearly an all coherent. Do u make money from ur powerful rhymes? How long did it take to transfer from ur heart to the pages from which u spoke?
12mock3lee 3 years ago
Thank you my dear, very much. No money and that is completely fine with me. As for the process from thought to pen or keyboard, the art comes to me and it just starts flowing. I will literally have art lines screaming in my head and I have to run to write them down, it all flows from there. I generally give myself a night to start the piece and am morning to revise/finish it.
MyOwnStickFigure 3 years ago
You inspire people in all your videos, what a powerful poem, sad and yet beautiful because it's spoken from a brilliant mind. God bless you for such a soulful piece. Take care love Margaret x x x
NunaFeedTheDucks 3 years ago
Please know I hope you are not offended by my frankness. This trigger I mention goes deep for me. It isn't about you,
it happened whenever I saw anyone thinner than myself.
I put this in the past sense because I believe in the power of Language and affirm the possibility that I am recovered from this e.d. reaction.
You are beautiful...shirt or no shirt.
GreenAndroQueen 3 years ago
Hello dear, I am not offended at all. I purposely did not wear a shirt for this one. I was actually going to wear a brown paper bag and then decided I would rather go shirtless, for a few reasons: to make a statement, liberation as a transgendered male. I made sure I did not get the bones in there, the ones that will eventually be covered by more flesh. We need flesh. The ed mind can tweak anything from here to the moon, it's good to be on check with it and seperate. Thank you for doing this.
MyOwnStickFigure 3 years ago
I really appreciated this piece.
I take 100% responsibility that when you make videos
with less clothing, the e.d. voices in me often go wild and I struggle a bit with thinspiration. I know it is not your intention. Ultimately, I have become stronger recently
by working through this and similar triggers.
I hope anyone else who watches your vids can also understand that whatever our e.d. minds contort to be
thinspiration is but an opportunity to shore up another
giant piece of recovery.
GreenAndroQueen 3 years ago
This is just absolutely brilliant. You are such a beautiful and talented person. I wish you well in all your endeavors.
plasticbarbiechild 3 years ago
I love this song! I just hope they end it soon. I hate thinspiration it's just not pretty how helpfully at all.
P.s. I love you!
lovelygirlaye 3 years ago
Thank you sweetie, it's a spoken word/poem piece... wow wonder how it would sound if it was a song with music in the background LOL hip!
We just need to keep bringing awareness to those in the pro-ed community and reach our hands to help them and show them that this is NO LIFE at all.
MyOwnStickFigure 3 years ago
This was so good it brought me to tears. Not in a bad way, though. Rather, it "brought me into your world" so-to-speak, and helped me understand just a bit.
Not only that, the poet in me rejoiced at how brilliantly it was written. It flows, rhymes beautifully and- above all- has a great message.
You just fucking rock. :)
Can I favorite this, or is it a little too personal for you?
choirgrrl 3 years ago
I would be HONORED if you saved it to favorites, never hesitate - that's why the feature is up and I'm an open poster. Thank you so much for this feedback, it's encouraging to me not only as a friend but also as an artist and activist. HUGS
MyOwnStickFigure 3 years ago
That was awesome :) Good work.
miarose777 3 years ago
Thank you!
MyOwnStickFigure 3 years ago
this is brilliant. so brilliant.
illbeurbaybee 3 years ago
wow, a double b! as in double brilliant, thank u!
MyOwnStickFigure 3 years ago
That was a wonderful piece! You're a true inspiration.
_ Cass
hottielatte1 3 years ago
Thank you, I am glad I can inspire!
MyOwnStickFigure 3 years ago
That was beautiful.
You're one of my heroes. So you know.
Anyways, I hope you're doing well, I haven't "talked" to you in a while.
Peace&love
tinydancer9898 3 years ago
Wow...
AMAZING piece Johnny!!!!!
<3
FrossetBlod 3 years ago
i know this because i'm on my way and i do my very best every day if i can. sometimes i'm struggling again but than i fight back to my way - vids like yours can help a lot - i'm sure. i wish you good times johnny. i love your vids outside at the sea a lot, too.
somepieces 3 years ago
They are sick, in another kind of way and we must reach out to help them and show them this is no life at all. Recovery is always available to those willing to work for it. You will see your recovery, keep fighting my friend.
MyOwnStickFigure 3 years ago
thank you for this awesome poem. thinspiration is a big lie for people who are looking for more good feelings in their life. and starving is a terrible long way is sometimes less hope and you never can win with anorexia. recovery is a long and very hard way. but possible - i'm sure. and ist's possible after 30 years.
somepieces 3 years ago
WHAT AN ANTHEM!!!!!!! Wow wow wow. This is amazing. Seriously. I'm so proud of you. And so grateful that you are sharing these thoughts and feelings with the world. It is SOOO necessary. Your words offer a perspective that few are brave enough to express - and thank G-d your words and this energy is out there in the world to counter the negativity. I'm in awe.
Cavernchick 3 years ago
You are so sweet Caroline. Thank you dear with lots of love and glitter. Btw. Can you see it now? You, me, Karen chopping up an open mic with ed activist poems? We'd blow the mofo building down!!!!!!!1
MyOwnStickFigure 3 years ago
YES i can see it now!!! I have been meaning to record my piece about my eating disorder for AGES. but i figured i'd get live footage...alas that hasn't happened. so you've inspired me to just do it in the comfort of my own home. hehe. who needs a stage when everything's a stage anyway!
Cavernchick 3 years ago
this is stunning. I find it as powerful, if not more-as my Game Over! rant on Anorexia. This should be read at an open mic night, def. Its too bad though that powerful pieces like this are totally snickered at & demeaned by those who KNOW they're so fucking wrong-the ProAna community. This needs some braoder attention...yes indeed. Perhaps this vid can be uploaded on the collab channel. Good idea, Karen :) thanks Karen :) GOOD JOB, my friend. I sit, in awe of your genius, my brutha.
calikaren71 3 years ago
aw thank you so much aunt-j ; )you are sweeter than maple syrup. listen, i so wish you still lived in san mateo. i would drag you to open mic night and we could both preform (i'd go first if it helped soothe the nerves some)... i have 1 in san mateo and 1 in palo alto, im not sure if they are ready for this jelly though so i have to check them out... sf would be great, i wish i could of taken advantage of the open mic nights when i lived there, all 3 times lol
MyOwnStickFigure 3 years ago
okay so you can call me auntie j--but if you poke my belly--I'll fart...
calikaren71 3 years ago
Wow! That was some powerful stuff. Thanks for putting it out there for us to see.
lumenscribble 3 years ago
If it wasn't for you and everyone else WILLING and OPEN to seeing then it would be hard for me to put my art out there, so as much gratitude to my viewers as they give me.
MyOwnStickFigure 3 years ago
Wow, that was breathtaking, Johnny. I really liked it. I don't know what you're going through, but now I know how YOU feel. This was great. It was intense. You should be a writer, write a book, love! :-)
delightracardeanne 3 years ago
Thank my love. I am an artist and have been published and do have my own book - which is not in print at the moment due to fees ... but this is a very nice compliment. My website link in my profile is for my ED art site, you can see more there. LOVE to you
MyOwnStickFigure 3 years ago
I love that- key words tags don't mean I support the movement, it means I support the movement in finding the video to help them...
beautywithin85 3 years ago
Thank you! It's like when you use those powerful of tags I feel it's very important to clarify their purpose. I have sympathy on people in the movement and understand some of the psychology of it all - which is very hard for most people to see. I guess having once been ILL AND IN IT - to an extent - it gives me more leway to understand why someone would want to join it or remain in it, bottom line: pain and sickness.
MyOwnStickFigure 3 years ago
This is a beautiful piece of art. You are very talented. Thankyou for sharing, I found it realy helpful!
xDandyDanx 3 years ago
Thank you very much. I found it so helpful to create and share!
MyOwnStickFigure 3 years ago
wow, this made so much sense to me. I have lately been on the brink of going back. i thank you for this. i spoke to me. I feel it really pulled me back. x
beyonceknows 3 years ago
That is a very powerful set of statements. I am honored to help hold you back - please come back to this poem anytime you need the strength you feel it can provide you with. I am very proud of you.
MyOwnStickFigure 3 years ago
lately I have been really suffering with my body dismorphia.I am a 20 year old woman who is a pear shape but being surrounded by imagery of the so called perfect body,the perfect hourglass.which doesnt really exist. Ive been going nuts, comparing myself to other girls in my class and my fiances exs.ive been keeping myself awake and going nuts. it took this poem today that woke me.and made me realise i am me, and no matter how much i change it wont be enough.thank you so much!
beyonceknows 3 years ago
Did you know right now PEARS are in SEASON? They are EVERYWHERE! I love them, they are beautiful. I know this is off topic but it can be related to your comment if you meditate on the true meaning behind the words... and my loving intentions with lots of smiles on the side!
MyOwnStickFigure 3 years ago
On another note, I can tell you that as a transgendered male - I know the whole concept of... You are whoever you feel you are. Flesh is nothing but flesh and does not validate your true self or being. Only you can create you and that person is the one you honestly feel you are... and only you will know this.
MyOwnStickFigure 3 years ago
yeah i understand now. I just joke that my cleavage is my behind lol. i actually realise that its how sexy you feel not nessescarily how you look. you are awsome!
beyonceknows 3 years ago
Cleavage can be super sexy! sorry, hormones sometimes come out in comments. On another note, what are your thoughts on butt cleavage? I have one friend who doesn't wear any drawers and constantly had butt cleavage hanging out, it "cracks" me up lololol love it
MyOwnStickFigure 3 years ago
my cleavage is sexy. Smexy. The cab driver today--I bit him after he tried to sample the merchandise...the pervert asked me what my bra size was AFTER he put his dirty, mangy paws on my pretty ladies...I left my dna and my tetth marks on his arm and said, "Listen fuckwad-multiply the length of your dick by 10 and add your IQ. Now, back the FUCK off, or I'll call your wife, gf, finacee, or your bf and tell him/her that you just made a pass at a flamin lesbian!" Dirty boys! >:(
calikaren71 3 years ago
Karen, that is horrendous. I am so sorry that happened to you, fucking gross out city. I am glad you defended yourself but misogynists like that really upset me. It's just not acceptable behavior. I'm glad you can hold your own, unfortantly not everyone can. It's very hard to see.
MyOwnStickFigure 3 years ago
oh he was a real prize, lemee tell ya. He had me get in the front seat-I dont have a problem with that. But when he leaned over & told me he was "helping me w/my seatbelt," I was like, "Fuck that, son! I dont NEED your help w/the seat belt. Look, I was retainin water last week, there's nothin stoppin me from hitting you so hard your whole family will feel it." That's when he decided that an assertive, foul-mouthed lesbian turned him on, and lunged. He was on me like pigs to shit.
calikaren71 3 years ago
yeah i got no cleavage as a b cup. ive tried bras which kinda do the trick lol. but at the same time if anyone knows a good brand let me know lol. I love your sense of humour. pears are in season it makes me feel special thank you. butt cleavage can be but i think only on the beach or somewhere where little clothing is worn anyways. here in the uk its usually cold so not normally lol. ive making myself feel bad. i was upset bc i found out o was most flat out of all the girls my fiance was with.x
beyonceknows 3 years ago
I am sure there are many who will come across this and wish they had a b cup...VS and Fredricks of Hollywood have all those bra tricks. I have seen people use tape even... to lift them or even to bind them depending on the person. Regardless, it's time we start celebrating our parts! They all serve some kind of purpose! Yes! We have purpose!
MyOwnStickFigure 3 years ago
yeah exactly. I am going to set a trend out there. I am a beautiful in season pear! be proud people no more in betweens! x
beyonceknows 3 years ago
We so need to start a body size support group and call it Pears & Apples. You with me? Let me be Mr. Banana, looking to bulk up heheh
MyOwnStickFigure 3 years ago
titties? ::perks up:: Who's titties are we speaking of?? I likes pritty ladies...on other pritty ladies...yessir. :D
calikaren71 3 years ago
This has been flagged as spam show
lol oh Karen... watch my new video on sex...
MyOwnStickFigure 3 years ago
you wrote a beautiful poem. you have a great speaking voice as well. i loved it
FrozenCharles 3 years ago
Thank you so much!
MyOwnStickFigure 3 years ago
awesome as always :)
insidethemusicbox11 3 years ago
You have supported my spoken word pieces from the get go! Thank you!
MyOwnStickFigure 3 years ago
beautiful poem!!!!!
you changed your hair colour!! loveee it :) i was actually thinking of going back to that colour, my natural colour ! brunettes do it best lol
SexciiShar 3 years ago
Thank you dear! I changed the color about 2 weeks ago? maybe even three... same color as when I went back to brown... expresso - the light changes the color of things though, my hair and skin specifically. What shade of brown will you do? I actually really like this more natural, less radical, shade. It's given me great confidence. Today I even stood in the mirror and found beauty in little rosey apple cheeks staring back at me in the mirror as I smiled. Then I thought I was hot LOL love it
MyOwnStickFigure 3 years ago
cause you are hot wifey!
theskinnypig 3 years ago
You're only saying that because I chop our wood.
Smirk.
MyOwnStickFigure 3 years ago
no no, Johnny, lesbians chop wood. haha!
calikaren71 3 years ago
OMG Karen, it's one of my favorite things to do. I love chopping wood. I am even on a mission to find a nice oversized plaid jacket to chop the wood in. It brings me a lot of comfort. I had found some plaid coats but they were TOO big and it's dangerous when chopping wood as it can get into the way. Ps. comments on the art not the wood woman lol!!!
MyOwnStickFigure 3 years ago
well, johnny...I can get in touch with my inner