Uh, no, that's not poetry. Poetry, even the nonrhytmic one, has a different structure. That's definitely a short story or a beginning of a short novel, I'd say. LOVE your syntax (aka phrase structure.. dunno what's the name of it in english, lol, :D), it's very interesting, the choise of words and adjectives... As a idea it's definitely interesting and I, personally, I'd like to read more of the what happened, or, better said, what's happening.:) Great one, pleease continue O:-)
I think it's cool but it's more of a piece than an actual story... I really like the writing and the music and your editing but it reads more like poetry than a story, ya know? Just my thoughts.
(and I hate to be a stickler but you should fix the spelling errors) You should continue, but I want more structure and events to go with the poetry. That's my honest critique. FYI I'm sort of a wannabe writer so I look into story's a lot more than most people just fyi.
@perchedeagle2 i dont like poerty lol and its only a first draft not even so i didnt bother with the spelling since i wasnt even sure of contiuing :D but thanks for the advice
I think you should countiuing this, it's great! ;)
vytakafly 1 year ago
Uh, no, that's not poetry. Poetry, even the nonrhytmic one, has a different structure. That's definitely a short story or a beginning of a short novel, I'd say. LOVE your syntax (aka phrase structure.. dunno what's the name of it in english, lol, :D), it's very interesting, the choise of words and adjectives... As a idea it's definitely interesting and I, personally, I'd like to read more of the what happened, or, better said, what's happening.:) Great one, pleease continue O:-)
asdfmercury 1 year ago
@asdfmercury *choice, an idea xD ugh, hate fast writing :D
asdfmercury 1 year ago
Continue! It's cool!
TwilightTeamJalice 1 year ago
I think it's cool but it's more of a piece than an actual story... I really like the writing and the music and your editing but it reads more like poetry than a story, ya know? Just my thoughts.
(and I hate to be a stickler but you should fix the spelling errors) You should continue, but I want more structure and events to go with the poetry. That's my honest critique. FYI I'm sort of a wannabe writer so I look into story's a lot more than most people just fyi.
perchedeagle2 1 year ago
@perchedeagle2 i dont like poerty lol and its only a first draft not even so i didnt bother with the spelling since i wasnt even sure of contiuing :D but thanks for the advice
xpink13xx 1 year ago
@xpink13xx i meant nonrhyming kind. Whether you like it or not that's poetry you wrote lol. :)
perchedeagle2 1 year ago
@xpink13xx this is where i would make the poet didnt know it joke but I wont go there.....even though I just did.
perchedeagle2 1 year ago
amazing. keep going!
StephCorral93 1 year ago
this story is like a book good job
tinker1115nkr 1 year ago
this is amazing! you should continue with it, itd be wonderfull!
Lenore483 1 year ago
That's amazing, really great creation...i really hope you continue writing it. No doubt it worth it! :)
TwilightRobstenRock 1 year ago
whoa. thats amazing, the detail in your writing is beautiful. i love it!
aJoyxx3 1 year ago
this has to be continued. it's amazing.
xMeganMakesMagic 1 year ago