I Hate Sports: Waterboarding Kobe Bryant

[VicodinKing91]

but the dude speaking looks the actor from Home Improvement

anyhow i hate sports as well, and your shows awsome

[MadThad0890]

>hates sports

>has a weekly sports show

WUT?

[DLUNA707]

Just cause your a nerd who buys fucking dolls and a green lantern who probably tried playing a sport and was a bullied by his teamates and was made fun of and never started dont hate sports you fagget and by the way you douche fuck Kobe Bryant makes more money than you you fag so stop hating on good sports you idiot

[VicodinKing91]

@DLUNA707 yea thats the point why does he get paid so much for quote on quote "doing what he loves"

[TheBDavis13]

(Continued Comment) . .. I am a former Collegiate Athlete from a private school in NY and I must say that not only have I enjoyed the "I hate sports videos" but I also agree with some of the premises. Sports gets wayyyyy to much coverage and money. . .the "stamps collector" one is a fav.

Also the reason you have 90% woman watching this, in my opinion, is because is say waterboarding a man they have been programed to hate "Kobe"

Dont mean to offend anyone if I did. . .KEEP POSTING!

[TheBDavis13]

"You cant be doing this to me" . . .that statement has nothing to do with waterboarding . . .its completely ignorant and Kobe is actually one of the rare articulate Athletes. .

Also sovietlemon. . .having black friends does not mean you are not racist or that you are not a bigot. I have plenty of friends who have hate in their hearts. If you say you are not a racist then so be it. . .my point is saying 'I have black friends" is a statement used by most racist funny enough. (Comment continued)

[ytb2004]

im i the only one who noticed the racism of how the white guy speaks perfect English but Kobe is an illiterate big black guy or maybe im just the only black guy watching this

[britethorn]

We did not mean it to racist. We tried to do Kobe's voice as well as we could (but remember that he's being waterboarded, which would have some sort of an affect on his speech.

[sovietlemon]

thats not racism, rascism is discrimination. have you noticed how the white guy is given a creepy old voice that sounds like a pedophile? by your standards, i could call that rascim. what your saying is actually rascist, that a black man being illeterite is rascis.

i belive your being overly paranoid, i watched this, and yes, i'm white, but i do have black friends, i'm not a racist, i can see things from other points of view, and i could say this is offensive, but not racist

[steviebkhall]

None off IT !

[eldolac]

LOL....didn't know the vid was going to turn out like this...5 stars.

July 4.....I was thinking about nothing and playing my PS3, finally.

[imaginepeace63]

Do you hate gymnastics orther storts that have art too?

[ricrery]

90% and I hate P.E. and sports alike.

[britethorn]

Generally speaking, the more money a sport attracts, the less I tend to like it. I have no problem with gymnastics or figure skating for the most part -- unless the kids are forced by their parents to compete.

[Ownmanship]

@britethorn I didn't know 40 year old hipsters existed.

[IndiMusicLover]

I'd like to make an inappropriate comment on this video.

[voyeurdug]

Should've given him a Japanese accent... like the town of Kobe, Japan... or Kobe beef.

I have a Korean accent. Specifically, a Hyundai Accent.

[xtlhogciao]

Or just what sports are you willing to play. Shoot hoops, golf, hit the batting cages, underground Filipino knife fighting.

[britethorn]

Playing sports is great. Watching sports is boring. Exercise is also great. I used to run until my feet started to give out. Now I'm an elliptical man.

[xtlhogciao]

Remember when Charles Barkley was punching people about 15 years ago and they told him that he had to be a better role model?

It's amazing that he was scolded right after that when he came out with the commercial stating that he's not a role model, but simply a basketball player. He was right.

I'm curious though John, I understand your hatred of how obsessed with sports people are. I just want to know if you hate the act of playing sports as well, considering the health benefits.

[upabittoolate]

john, i'm not accusing you of being a racist. but dig this: kobe scored a 1080 on his sat, he's bilingual, he grew with more material resource than you (or i) did, he's not from any " 'hood" that would shape his linguistic patterns that way, both his parents are from the nation's oldest city; not the south, i've never heard him speak in "ebonics".

why does your kobe talk like that?

[britethorn]

Two reasons: I've hardly ever heard him speak since I never watch basketball and because my VO guy is in the same boat, so he just tried to go for an NBA type voice. My apologies to Mr. Bryant. (Too bad that even with all the those great resources he had growing up, he still turned into such a worthless human being.) Maybe I should have given him an Italian accent, since he grew up overseas.

[upabittoolate]

hardly ever heard him speak? that would fly if an interview video weren't at your fingertips. be honest. you gave him ebonics because you're trying to paint him in a certain light. so the "blacker" her is, the easier to marginalize him. calling him worthless actually lessens you my friend. you aren't any better, neither am i, nor is anyone else. on this planet, we're all jerks. there's not need to debase him (or anyone else) with that kind of language. you're capable of better john.

[upabittoolate]

corrections:

..the blacker HE is

there's NO need

my bad.

[britethorn]

LOL. The only light I was trying to paint him in was the light of Pro Sports. There was nothing racist about the voice.

[upabittoolate]

i never called you a racist. in fact i validated the comment by saying as much. there's a chance that you don't even notice that you're doing it. here's a story. my friend max made a remark about how black people pronounce the word "ask". it was benign at best but i reminded him that i'm black & by most account, i talk like i swallowed a dictionary (my father is a professor). max was silent.

you made a presumption about kobe with (by your own admission) limited data. wassup with dat?

[britethorn]

You're right. I should have given him an Italian accent.

[upabittoolate]

humor. that's good. but i get the sneaking sensation that it's a defense mechanism for you. satire is how you communicate. i get that my friend. but don't obfuscate the point. you're guilty of the same assumptions as bill o (sorry but you are. not saying that you're anything like that loathsome prick). bill o assumed that all black people behaved a certain way based on the premise that we are somehow lesser because of our skin color or economic class. you assume that kobe talks a certain way...

[upabittoolate]

... that assumption is rather forgivable but there's 2 problems i have. 1) you're not being very contrite right now 2) you could have done a quick character study here on youtube. it would, LITERALLY, have taken seconds. but instead, you made the common mistake of associating black skin with poor diction, lousy phrasing & worse verbal predication. that's bullshit john. i'm a fan. i KNOW you can do better than that

[upabittoolate]

are you doing much to dispel any racist assumptions about black men if you're depicting him as a jive talker when in reality, he's an int'l citizen AND doing it while accusing him of rape?

again john, that's a little thin. i challenge you to examine what you're doing. sometimes white people don't even know when they're doing things like what you & my friend max do. it's part of your constructed perception. that's fine but be aware of that. again, you're capable of better.

[britethorn]

Hey, I just followed your suggestion and listened to some Kobe footage! I think you need to get your ears cleaned out because the Voice Over I used for the video sounds about as much like Kobe as the VO of Cheney sounds like Cheney. My guy nailed it. Thanks for bringing that to my attention!

[upabittoolate]

john, kobe doesn't sound a goddamned thing like the vo you did for kobe. your guy caricatured & pastiched EVERY assumption of how black people talk. that's pathetic that you'd go to such a length to escape constructive criticism. pathetic. have a good week. peace.

[britethorn]

Sorry you feel that way.  I was telling the truth. Besides which, have you ever heard what Kobe Bryant sounds like while he's being kidnapped and tortured?

[upabittoolate]

you can't be serious

[upabittoolate]

do i have to give you an entire play by play? or are you going to actually engage me as a person? or are you going to fall into the exact same traps as many other white people?

i understand that's it's comedy & it's designed to be over the top. but there has to be some element of reality there otherwise it's trite & hackneyed. your kobe sounds worse than the crows in "dumbo".

would kobe say "i already done told you now". or would kobe say "now, that's a moot point"? most likely the latter

[upabittoolate]

but no, kobe didn't rape that girl. the rape kit showed multiple semen samples in her panties. 2 days after her accusation, she went drinking at a bar & exhibited some behaviors that were less than virtuous. does that mean she lied? no. but that's a pattern of behavior that says SOMETHING. either way, the burden of proof is on the accuser. the state of CO dropped the case. nuff said.

[britethorn]

You're 100% wrong on this one. Go talk to a lawyer about it (I did-- a former District Attorney, in fact.) He bought his way out of the Rape Trial.  Period. The first thing the Defense does in any rape trial is to try and cast the victim as a slut.

[upabittoolate]

john, if she's got 3 different guys' semen in her drawers AND she went out on a slut's mission after having accused him, i doubt kobe forced her into anything. now i've actually read the police report & i was working at vail valley when it happened. there's a good chance that i stocked the exam room where she was examined. in addition, i DID talk to a lawyer. the report said that he screwed the woman then skeeted in her face. she got mad & cried rape.

[upabittoolate]

i don't care what lawyer you ask because every lawyer is going to say something different. ultimately, she changed her own story 3x & the kit does not corroborate her story. she willingly sucked his dick but he climaxed in a place that she didn't like? okay, that's impolite perhaps. but that ain't rape. her behavior after the assault was inconsistent with most rape victims'. not to say that everyone is identical but there's still a range of telltales.

[upabittoolate]

you're going to probably fire the "settled out of court=admission of guilt" argument at me right? once a man is accused of a violent, felony assault of that magnitude, that doesn't matter. either way, it's the people of colorado in the plaintiff column not kaitlen faber. it's out of her hands at that point. so the whole state let kobe off the hook? i doubt it, i told a cop a fake name in aurora & that's followed me on every job application since. he was accused of rape & he's off the hook? no

[britethorn]

Since this never went to trial, we'll never know. Again, Kobe Bryant bought his way out of a Rape Trial and then paid off his accuser. Is that the kind of behavior we should be teaching our children to emulate? And DA's do not let accusers walk away from trials (very rare-- they just get subpoenaed -- unless someone's throwing a LOT of money at lawyers.)

[upabittoolate]

since we'll never know, you can't, in good conscience, claim that he bought anything. we should teach our children not to pass judgments about serious shit like rape without extensive data.

you're right, da's don't let people walk. but she walked in THIS case. what does that tell you? that the da couldn't launch a sound prosecution devoid of reasonable doubt.

Ei incumbit probatio qui dicit. that's an american principle. please don't forsake it.

[bahamiangreek101]

I agree 100% Britethorn.

Great video.

[britethorn]

Thanks. It's great getting some positive feedback since this one's not doing to well numbers wise. Interestingly, the demographics YouTube provides me on this video show that its being viewed by something like a 90% female audience, which is WAY beyond what my videos usually pull in. Normally its the other way around.

[upabittoolate]

no john, pro athletes should not be held to higher standards. cheaters should not be thrown out of their games. the parents who allow their kids to carry on hero worship need to be re-educated. when i was a kid, i had drj, kareem, jordan & pippen. but my hero was my own m&p. i operate (& still operate) on THEIR standards. but more than that, i operate using the critical thinking skills that were taught to me that i later sharpened with my own education.

[columthealmighty]

Venus williams

[britethorn]

Sigh. If only Washington had worked on his Tennis game instead of wasting his life on the Revolution.

[upabittoolate]

phurst caummint. woot