I've been trying to watch all of Esther's videos for months now and it's really hard to bring myself to do it because I cry almost every time. I know that I'm only a few videos from the end and I don't know what I'm going to do when they've over and I know why they stopped.
Esther was such an amazing person. I hope she realized that everyone's human and everyone feels the same way she does sometimes, but that doesn't make her any less made of awesome.
Esther, we're not asking you to be perfect all the time. Nerdfighteria is my family, and it is yours too. We love you, and we want you to show us when you're hurting. I write this present tense, because to me you will always be present tense. RIA
I admire her because she made awesome friends even when many people wouldn't have any hope or willingness to do so and that she managed to touch and change a whole lot of people. She met people she admired and made these amazing videos for us to look back at. She reminds me of why life's worth it and why I shouldn't just sit there and let things happen. That I have a voice and I should use it. That every life matters and everybody can change the world, even if just a tiny part of it.
I wish she could read this, but I'm going to write it anyway - maybe they have internet where she is, right? I wish Esther knew that we didn't think she was perfect and always brave and that she WASN'Y SUPPOSED to be. I wish she knew how much impact she had in so many lives. I wish she knew that we admire her, not for fighting cancer, but by living with it. (...)
I know you will never read this and this makes me very sad, you have done so much more than anyone could ever dream of. you were a beautiful person, you live among the stars now and we are amazed that you took the time to even talk to us, your story is amazing and i think you would love to know John Green dedicated a book to you.
We never expect you to perfect. No one does, and you have the right to do all of these things because you're only human, and more or less a teenager. We know you aren't perfect and that's what we love about you. You are only human and we accept that. But you are one awesome Human.
Love,
Sydney, and all of your friends on the internet and around the world.
I'm gonna cry. just to think that she was here. and now shes just, not. its awful. and i wish she could have lived. and just have been happier.i never knew Esther but its just. i cant. Esther, even thuogh i never knew you, I miss you.
I cried so much while watching this video. I don't think she even realized why what she did was amazing, or that everyone knew she wasn't like that all the time. But for someone to have cancer and be so afraid, so confused and put on a happy face, have that humor and lightness to her that she did and fight for what she believed in anyway, is great. She is so inspirational and if I was ever in her position I don't think I could be that strong. R.I.P Esther, DFTBA
Oh Esther, you we such a person. You were sometimes brave and sometimes scared and sometimes mean and sometimes funny but always so very much a person. Sometimes I miss the platonic ideal of you, but I always so desperately miss the person you were.
I feel so much closer after reading TFIOS.Thank you John for helping me more deeply understand. Thank you Esther for being human,and being so openly honest. It's stuff like this that changes me for the better.
Esther was brave and amazing! The thing is she didn't see it! She was teenager and she was human that's all true but she had something most teenagers don't have! She had a spectacular insight and outlook on life. She's gone now but she's always going to be special to us! People are heard better when they die but even though that's how it seems, esther was heard clearly when alive and she touched many lives. RIA Esther <3
i keep on watching this, over and over again because it reminds me that i should keep living, that i should keep on pushing through all my problems because i have the chance to, that it's okay to be human. esther, thank you for being such an inspiration and i hope you rest in awesome.
I haven't been a nerdfighter very long. I stumbled into this community not too long after Esther died. I've known about her the whole time, but I have never come to watch her channel until tonight. It's just past eleven and I desperately need to be writing my research paper for English, but I'm here and I'm so glad I just watched this. It was incredibly touching and beautiful and real and it made me cry. Rest in awesome, Esther.
Oh god Esther you are just the most amazing person ever :). Of course you do all those things... You're just a human being. I know exactly what you're feeling...well not exactly but close to it. That was crazy insightful and you're so inspirational and I wish you could see this!!! RIA! -3
I was introduced to nerdfitheria and vlogging after you had died, i really wish i had discovered it before that, but most of all i just would like to meet you, and tell you that you're only human, and that you're the most amazing human i know, because esther, even though you weren't climbing everest or skydiving, you were awsome, pure awsome, swetness and kindness, and i just wish i could be gramaticly correct not using past tense...
Esther was a person. I don’t know if she realized that she was just a person, that it was okay to feel scared and it was okay to make mistakes because that’s what people do. I hope she died at peace with herself. I hope she died knowing that she was loved and that it was okay to just be a person. I hope that she can hear my crying and typing and praying right now, because her words have touched me, and I hope she knows that her short life on Earth changed the world to be better.
I know one of your friends from where I work, Esther, and she mentioned you had passed last year from cancer. I had no idea you made such a huge impact on so many lives. I was just browsing through the vlogbrother's videos and saw the one they posted of you and couldn't believe it! I had just heard about you hours ago and I already saw a remembrance of you on a fave channel of mine. I can tell you were an amazing person, and I'm glad you could appreciate the great things in life. RIA Esther.
I feel sad and guilty that I have literally just found out about Esther, I feel afraid to be reminded of her even though I have never met her, I feel terrible that you feel lonely, but I feel happy inside when I close my eyes and I see little stars shining in the dark, each one beautiful and pure. Those stars represent your fans, admirers, and all the people who will always be there for you.
esther you did not do nothing with your life, you inspired a group of people to become better nerdfighters. And better people. that is not nothing. And we know ur not perfect, but u were a amazing inperfection, we all love you RIA
Esther, I showed this to my college psych class today, for our topic on "death & dying". I choked up...so did lots of the kids in my class. Thanks for continuing to inspire us with your magic...
It takes the bravest person of them all to admit that they are not always brave. It takes an unimagionably awesome person to admit that they are not perfect.
Because you can admit that you are human- you are the most wonderful of them all :)
Why do the good always die young? I just bought my bracelet for you, Esther. I will wear it everyday and never take it off. I love you and miss you Esther even though I never knew you. Rest in awesome, Esther.
Esther, you are so strong. So beautiful. And yes, you ARE. Because you will never be gone. You live on in us, and you continue to inspire us and defeat worldsuck. And we love you SO much.
You never fooled us. And you did SO much with your life, though it was a huge tragedy that you couldn't continue.
I miss youu. I was talking to Melissa the other day and she misses you so much, Ester. I know I haven't seen you since the day I left to Cape Cod, but you were the most amazing person I ever met and i miss you a ton<3
No Esther, you are wrong. You may not have always been perfect, but you were always awesome. You were always strong. You were always brave. You were always amazing. And you were always, always, beautiful in every way. You said that you weren't doing much with your life. You didn't realize how huge of an effect you had on so many people. You were an inspiration. You are an inspiration. You always will be.
I know you aren't here anymore, but I feel like if there were a patron saint of Youtube it would be you, and I feel like somewhere out there you are here with us following all of these events that your life has set into motion. I was going through videos that I had listed in my favorites, and this came up. It just reminded me of how wonderful you were. Not because you were perfect, not because you never failed, but because you were strong, and you cared, and you were real.
What an absolute inspiration you are. Rest in peace Esther; your beautiful soul lives on forever! You are a treasure and a true angel. We can only thank you for gracing us with your presence on this planet if only for a short time. Your memory lives on. I look at you in admiration you sweet beautiful girl. xxx
Esther is amazing. She might not be the strongest person out there, might only be able to lay there in her bed or couch, may have to push herself to wake up each day, but she DOES. She keeps living on, even though she's not on earth anymore. She's like a stone dropped in a pond, the ripples of everything she is and did continues on. Esther, I never knew you. But you're amazing. Just by being YOU. DFTBA. This star will never go out. Live on Esther. Live on.
It's ridiculous how much a person can touch you when you've only watched their videos. She's a normal teenager and she felt it was important that everybody knew that, but on the other hand she's an extremely awesome teenager and nerdfighter.
This star won't go out <3 Let's fight those dementors!
This is the first video I've ever seen of hers and I realize that she's not anymore wise or different from us. She is greatly open, honest and, above all, BRAVE. Not to mention, she's manage to express herself and the way many of us feel in 3:33 seconds. RIA.
She seems mature, not just for a 16 year old, but for a person of any age. Its her honesty and openess that makes me think that, and I don't just mean with us but towards her own feelings. Inspiring and humbling.
I only ever talked to Esther once. It was on blogtv after one of john's shows. I just told her about a private message that I sent to her, and she told me that she'd send me a response when she got to it. I guess she never got to it.
you taught me more than anyone I've ever known. I believe that every persons heart is separated into little sections, each dedicated to a passion, a moment, or a person. I believe that anyone who has ever seen a video of yours has a small section just for you. That section reminds me every day to love. Love, live, and laugh. And for you, I will try. RIA, Esther.
Esther, I am crying as if I knew you all along. RIA, Esther. You were such an inspiration to thousands of us. We nerdfighters all know you are watching us right now and smiling. We love you, we salute you, we miss you.
i just stumbled apon this vid and everybody was saying she passed away, i dont know who this girl is but i feel like crying watching this and knowing shes gone. but i know shes with farther , you did what u were suppose to do in life esther , lots of love <3 R.I.P Esther.
I'm so sorry I didn't watch your videos while you were alive,Esther.I wish I had,I really do.
I read your twitter and have only watched this video so far,but I can tell that you were an amazing,beautiful person and people really loved you and respected you.
You and I are just alike. I know the feeling of being lost and confused. I wish so much I could have met you sooner and talked to you. I've had cancer since I was six and I'm fifteen now. It's hard and there were times when I just wanted to give in and give up. There were times when I just couldn't take it anymore and wanted everything to go away. I also know what it's like to lose contacts with your friends. Whether you believe it or not you are an inspiration to thousands. Rest in Awesome.
also: you don't need to feel ashamed that you did nothing with your life, because that's not true. You gave so much hope to so many people, you helped us all feel better when we were sad, words can't explain.
Thank you for being a part of the nerdfighter community, it's so special to know that there are good people out there. I never knew you, or even spoke to you, and it seemed like you were just another person, but now I know, that you weren't just another person, you were and are Esther, an amazing girl. I know that everyone here loves you. so much. you'll always be a part of our lives. This star won't go out. Thank you Esther! <3
Thank you for being a part of the nerdfighter community, it's so special to know that there are good people out there. I never knew you, or even spoke to you, and it seemed like you were just another person, but now I know, that you weren't just another person, you were and are Esther, an amazing girl. I know that everyone here loves you. so much. you'll always be a part of our lives. This star won't go out. Thank you Esther! <3
I am soo so sad i didn't wach this before u died , and I really waned to meet u , u are an good person and a beautiful person whit a big heart , and u are now at a beather place we love u <3 :(
I hate the fact that I did not know Esther when she was alive! She is such an amazing people! I have been reading tweets and blogs about and by her and watching videos and I have been BAWLING crying! I just know that anyone who life Esther touched was all the better for it and her memory will live on!
Esther, I know you're gone, but I'd like to think somehow this will still reach you. Here's the truth: who you are and the way the Nerdfighters think of you is a beautiful thing. We know you're not perfect. The thing is, we don't care. An inspiration shouldn't be perfect, she should be real.
The television show Firefly said it best in the episode Jaynestown: "Ain't about you, Jayne. It's about what they need." Nerdfighteria needed you. We'll always need you. And we'll always love you.
I feel guilty I didn't watch any of your videos until you died. I feel silly that I'm crying at this, even though I've never spoken to you, or had any contact with you or anyone that knows you, and I only know of you through vlogbrothers videos. I feel sad for your family and friends, but I'm happy that youre now at peace and you dont have to battle with cancer anymore.
Everybody has angst we all yell at our parents nobody is perfect I hope you didn't feel like you had to be. Your parents love you the in the know YouTube community people love you and we don't blame you for anything. Love who you are and have fun.
@tabbykatification Oprah has the means to write you a million dollar check but she hasn't - maybe she knows that if you had a million dollars you would become a crack addict so she'll never write that check......it doesn't mean that Oprah is not there.......but then again this is coming from an idiot like me !
i feel so sad and guilty that esther felt ashamed and that she felt she wasn't doing anything with her life. she was doing so much more for us than she will ever know and i wish we'd told her more. thank you for blessing us with your online presence esther. we love and miss you and will never,ever forget you. RIA xxx
All tho we have never met your AMAZING zest for life and the things you loved inspire me to be a better person ! I've a whole lot of sad going on learning of your passing, you will continue to inspire through your vids and can only imagine the greatness you've brought to the other side xx
nobody is perfect. And we know your not, but you are a wonderful person. You were going through a lot. I don't want you to have any regrets right now. You lived a great life, and inspired so many people and touched their hearts. You are not a bad person, and you knew that. The world is your oyster. Rest in peace, Esther. DFTBAUTIH (don't forget to be awesome up there in heaven).
You are, above all else, a human being. And you know what? That's OK! Because so am I, and so are all the nerdfighters. Human beings are flawed; We have emotions that we can't always control, we are susceptible to sickness, and we find it so much easier to see differences than similarities. But we are also awesome. We can come together as total strangers and talk to one another, share ideas and give hope. Thank you for being a human, thank you for sharing your humanity. DFTBA.
Wow. Okay, I know I'm not in the same boat as you - but that' exactly how I feel whenever someone says something nice about me. I feel like "OMG! No, you have it all wrong! I'm a real jerk at times! Just ask my younger brother!"
Esther, I'm sure others have said this, but nobody expects you to be amazing all the time, nor do they expect you to be strong all the time. Everybody has their moments. However, what I, (and the millions of other people watching) find amazing is the fact that you are able to do the things that you are able to do, as well as the fact that you are secure enough to admit when you are struggling or you are not feeling as strong as you would like to be.
I was going to write stuff, but then I realised other people had already said what I was thinking, so I thumbs-uped those instead. Just be you and take one day at a time.
Sounds like mostly typical teen stuff. Everybody goes though the teen stuff, crying, getting angry, yelling, doing stupid stuff, ect. But you know, with cancer.
If ever you want to laugh my videos are always there for ya your video has really touched me, let us know how it all goes (Wimblefingers crossed for ya) :)
Esther, I love you for exactly who you are. I know I don't know you that well, but I know that you're human and I know how it feels when people think that you're what they've seen or heard online and that's all. I'm here for you, and I'm glad that you're you. :)
you're a good person even if you think your not that fact that you aren't always great and you're willing to admit it shows how great you are just keep being you
Personally, I think you being this candid and open about your feelings and everything you have gone through proves the strength that you don't think you always have. It's not really about always being perfect because no one can do that! You bring hope to more people than I think you realize. <333
We're only human. And we all have good sides and bad sides. You just have to figure out which side is standing out more. I don't know you, but this far you're good sides stand out more to me.
I like that you told us that you aren't amazing all the time, because it made me think about how I'm not amazing all the time and that we should all be striving to be more amazing more of the time :)
Hey, Esther. Firstly, I want to say that I hope your scans are okay. And also, I'd like to say that, if you want someone to talk to, just message me. I tried to send you a message through youtube, but you never responded, lol. I know what you're going through. Like, I REALLY know what you're going through. And sometimes all we need is to talk to someone and have them say it's OKAY to feel this way. Best wishes. (Nerdfighter reference? Anyone?)
I am so much like you it's not even funny... our brains think the same, I guess. Keep rockin' it out, Esther. Might I ask, how did you get your name? It is a lovely one indeed.
I've only just started watching your videos and I find you so inspiring :) no-one is perfect all the time and you have obvious reasons for not always feeling brave :) also you have such cute dimples, hehehe :) x
I've been trying to watch all of Esther's videos for months now and it's really hard to bring myself to do it because I cry almost every time. I know that I'm only a few videos from the end and I don't know what I'm going to do when they've over and I know why they stopped.
Esther was such an amazing person. I hope she realized that everyone's human and everyone feels the same way she does sometimes, but that doesn't make her any less made of awesome.
awkwardfour 1 week ago in playlist More videos from cookie4monster4
Esther, we're not asking you to be perfect all the time. Nerdfighteria is my family, and it is yours too. We love you, and we want you to show us when you're hurting. I write this present tense, because to me you will always be present tense. RIA
someubersweetness 2 weeks ago in playlist Uploaded videos
Nerdfighteria loves you. Present tense.
xXxnf4lifexXx 3 weeks ago 5
I admire her because she made awesome friends even when many people wouldn't have any hope or willingness to do so and that she managed to touch and change a whole lot of people. She met people she admired and made these amazing videos for us to look back at. She reminds me of why life's worth it and why I shouldn't just sit there and let things happen. That I have a voice and I should use it. That every life matters and everybody can change the world, even if just a tiny part of it.
danifloresaqui 3 weeks ago
I wish she could read this, but I'm going to write it anyway - maybe they have internet where she is, right? I wish Esther knew that we didn't think she was perfect and always brave and that she WASN'Y SUPPOSED to be. I wish she knew how much impact she had in so many lives. I wish she knew that we admire her, not for fighting cancer, but by living with it. (...)
danifloresaqui 3 weeks ago
Your star will never go out.
banpaiaperson 3 weeks ago
Dear Esther
I know you will never read this and this makes me very sad, you have done so much more than anyone could ever dream of. you were a beautiful person, you live among the stars now and we are amazed that you took the time to even talk to us, your story is amazing and i think you would love to know John Green dedicated a book to you.
rest in awesome Esther
Toonklink99 3 weeks ago
Rest in awesome
thenummycakelady 3 weeks ago
Dear Ester,
We never expect you to perfect. No one does, and you have the right to do all of these things because you're only human, and more or less a teenager. We know you aren't perfect and that's what we love about you. You are only human and we accept that. But you are one awesome Human.
Love,
Sydney, and all of your friends on the internet and around the world.
Rest in Awesome.
speedstack207 1 month ago
i dont even know what to say....
sweet sweet esther
cancer really is the suckiest thing
poeven 1 month ago in playlist Uploaded videos
I'm gonna cry. just to think that she was here. and now shes just, not. its awful. and i wish she could have lived. and just have been happier.i never knew Esther but its just. i cant. Esther, even thuogh i never knew you, I miss you.
LORDESSALOVE 1 month ago
I cried so much while watching this video. I don't think she even realized why what she did was amazing, or that everyone knew she wasn't like that all the time. But for someone to have cancer and be so afraid, so confused and put on a happy face, have that humor and lightness to her that she did and fight for what she believed in anyway, is great. She is so inspirational and if I was ever in her position I don't think I could be that strong. R.I.P Esther, DFTBA
IWontStopHoldingOn95 1 month ago in playlist Uploaded videos 5
So inspirational. Rest in awesome Esther <3
EnchantedTower 1 month ago in playlist Uploaded videos
The Fault in Our Stars and Esther have convinced me to have the lump I have ignored for 18 months checked out on Monday morning.
rowanandaurora 1 month ago 7
@rowanandaurora how'd it go??
goldfishtime 2 weeks ago
This just made me cry....rest in Awesome, Esther Earl. You are a shinging star in a dark sky. <3
SparklesGoddess 1 month ago 4
Being brave isn't being unafraid. Being brave is staying strong even when you are afraid.
You were a very brave person, Esther. Rest in awesome.
FelineFearless 1 month ago 5
Oh Esther, you we such a person. You were sometimes brave and sometimes scared and sometimes mean and sometimes funny but always so very much a person. Sometimes I miss the platonic ideal of you, but I always so desperately miss the person you were.
ninatherenthead 1 month ago 9
I feel so much closer after reading TFIOS.Thank you John for helping me more deeply understand. Thank you Esther for being human,and being so openly honest. It's stuff like this that changes me for the better.
lilfroggyfrog 1 month ago 9
I miss her so much. I'm watching this and crying.
aabigailsmithh 2 months ago
Wow, she was amazing. I really wish I was already a nerdfighter, when she was still alive, so that I could have experienced her.
hellawesknight 2 months ago in playlist Uploaded videos 9
This has been flagged as spam show
Absolutely bawling my eyes out. She was so extraordinary. So wonderful.
h3yhihello 2 months ago
Esther was brave and amazing! The thing is she didn't see it! She was teenager and she was human that's all true but she had something most teenagers don't have! She had a spectacular insight and outlook on life. She's gone now but she's always going to be special to us! People are heard better when they die but even though that's how it seems, esther was heard clearly when alive and she touched many lives. RIA Esther <3
RocknRollaSaur 2 months ago in playlist Uploaded videos 2
It's nice to see the star didn't go out.
RhymingWithPurple 2 months ago 5
What this video is, is pure.
Searcher1315 2 months ago in playlist Uploaded videos
Can the person who disliked this please own up so I can damage him/her?
Plyrx08 2 months ago 4
Even after death, Esther continues to teach us how to live.
iamdawt 2 months ago in playlist Uploaded videos
i still miss her
RaaaytselM 2 months ago in playlist Favorite videos
This video sums up so well the disease that has touched so many lives.
We won't let this star go out.
Rest in awesome, Esther.
VIofSpades 2 months ago
This Star Won't Go Out <3
debsterstar 2 months ago
i keep on watching this, over and over again because it reminds me that i should keep living, that i should keep on pushing through all my problems because i have the chance to, that it's okay to be human. esther, thank you for being such an inspiration and i hope you rest in awesome.
flashbackplayback 4 months ago 8
I haven't been a nerdfighter very long. I stumbled into this community not too long after Esther died. I've known about her the whole time, but I have never come to watch her channel until tonight. It's just past eleven and I desperately need to be writing my research paper for English, but I'm here and I'm so glad I just watched this. It was incredibly touching and beautiful and real and it made me cry. Rest in awesome, Esther.
lifebreathmindsoul 4 months ago 5
TSWGO
tmoney12346 5 months ago
I haven't heard of you until recently, but if I wish I had earlier. YOUR with so many people, that you'll never be gone
vampire0101265 5 months ago
R.I.A.
vanillaweirdo 6 months ago
Oh god Esther you are just the most amazing person ever :). Of course you do all those things... You're just a human being. I know exactly what you're feeling...well not exactly but close to it. That was crazy insightful and you're so inspirational and I wish you could see this!!! RIA! -3
moviegal3456 6 months ago
Why wasn't i able to meet you esther?
I was introduced to nerdfitheria and vlogging after you had died, i really wish i had discovered it before that, but most of all i just would like to meet you, and tell you that you're only human, and that you're the most amazing human i know, because esther, even though you weren't climbing everest or skydiving, you were awsome, pure awsome, swetness and kindness, and i just wish i could be gramaticly correct not using past tense...
Peyoutreaux 6 months ago 2
This is the video for today.
This is the video to remind us of how to feel, how to know, how to live our lives in honor of those who have gone before us.
This is Esther, and what she's taught us.
samanthalimmer 6 months ago 58
Whenever I feel confused. I watch this video. Thanks Esther, I'm so sorry I never knew you. Rest in awesome.
CombustableMuffin 6 months ago 2
What a beautiful girl, inside and out. Rest in peace and awesome Esther. So much love for you and your family.
biscuitssssssss 6 months ago
who the hell would dislike this
thisismynewvoice 6 months ago
Thank you for having been awesome to the end.
RIA
-& much love.
radrashi139 6 months ago
Esther you are my biggest inspiration. I hope you're doing well where ever you may be. RIA-3
yellowpenguin123 6 months ago
ria esther.
MadAsAHatterMakeup 7 months ago
RIA Esther
ssyyddnneeyy1000 7 months ago
Esther was a person. I don’t know if she realized that she was just a person, that it was okay to feel scared and it was okay to make mistakes because that’s what people do. I hope she died at peace with herself. I hope she died knowing that she was loved and that it was okay to just be a person. I hope that she can hear my crying and typing and praying right now, because her words have touched me, and I hope she knows that her short life on Earth changed the world to be better.
xlivelovelaughxxx 7 months ago 135
RIA Esther
molmol97 7 months ago
I know one of your friends from where I work, Esther, and she mentioned you had passed last year from cancer. I had no idea you made such a huge impact on so many lives. I was just browsing through the vlogbrother's videos and saw the one they posted of you and couldn't believe it! I had just heard about you hours ago and I already saw a remembrance of you on a fave channel of mine. I can tell you were an amazing person, and I'm glad you could appreciate the great things in life. RIA Esther.
itsmalpal 7 months ago
I feel sad and guilty that I have literally just found out about Esther, I feel afraid to be reminded of her even though I have never met her, I feel terrible that you feel lonely, but I feel happy inside when I close my eyes and I see little stars shining in the dark, each one beautiful and pure. Those stars represent your fans, admirers, and all the people who will always be there for you.
1000jamesk 8 months ago
Esther you didn't have to feel scared.I wish I found your channel before.Thank You John for making the videos.
ALLCAPSfan98726 8 months ago
esther you did not do nothing with your life, you inspired a group of people to become better nerdfighters. And better people. that is not nothing. And we know ur not perfect, but u were a amazing inperfection, we all love you RIA
iluvthevlogbrothers 9 months ago
Esther, your star will NEVER go out.
EVER.
hello2656 9 months ago
Esther, I showed this to my college psych class today, for our topic on "death & dying". I choked up...so did lots of the kids in my class. Thanks for continuing to inspire us with your magic...
wayneandloriearl 10 months ago 2
Esther, may you rest in awesome.....
TheMirrorNoir 10 months ago
this star wont go out....i love you Esther. Rest in Awesomeness.
alycat231 11 months ago
Dear Esther,
It takes the bravest person of them all to admit that they are not always brave. It takes an unimagionably awesome person to admit that they are not perfect.
Because you can admit that you are human- you are the most wonderful of them all :)
Godspeed, Esther. :)
littleduckiesocks 11 months ago 5
Why do the good always die young? I just bought my bracelet for you, Esther. I will wear it everyday and never take it off. I love you and miss you Esther even though I never knew you. Rest in awesome, Esther.
OrangeTealSky 11 months ago
Esther, you were a hero.
graceface1212 11 months ago
god. I wear my bracelet for you everyday. I don't take it off. You're so beautiful Rest in Awesome.
TheSingingPeople 1 year ago
Esther, you are so strong. So beautiful. And yes, you ARE. Because you will never be gone. You live on in us, and you continue to inspire us and defeat worldsuck. And we love you SO much.
You never fooled us. And you did SO much with your life, though it was a huge tragedy that you couldn't continue.
And we will always love you, so much.
This star will NEVER go out.
hello2656 1 year ago
I miss youu. I was talking to Melissa the other day and she misses you so much, Ester. I know I haven't seen you since the day I left to Cape Cod, but you were the most amazing person I ever met and i miss you a ton<3
rest in awesome<3
beandlexproductions 1 year ago
one person refused to believe she was gone so they disliked
TheMeow7410 1 year ago 4
No Esther, you are wrong. You may not have always been perfect, but you were always awesome. You were always strong. You were always brave. You were always amazing. And you were always, always, beautiful in every way. You said that you weren't doing much with your life. You didn't realize how huge of an effect you had on so many people. You were an inspiration. You are an inspiration. You always will be.
CitizenOfNeverland 1 year ago 3
Rest in peace Esther.You were a wonderfull,beautifull person
Fjonafish 1 year ago
Hey Esther,
I know you aren't here anymore, but I feel like if there were a patron saint of Youtube it would be you, and I feel like somewhere out there you are here with us following all of these events that your life has set into motion. I was going through videos that I had listed in my favorites, and this came up. It just reminded me of how wonderful you were. Not because you were perfect, not because you never failed, but because you were strong, and you cared, and you were real.
BeeGK 1 year ago
What an absolute inspiration you are. Rest in peace Esther; your beautiful soul lives on forever! You are a treasure and a true angel. We can only thank you for gracing us with your presence on this planet if only for a short time. Your memory lives on. I look at you in admiration you sweet beautiful girl. xxx
LovelyJessica24 1 year ago
just reading the few latest comments: man i love nerdfighter.
I love you esther and i miss you a lot.
gdespain 1 year ago
This has been flagged as spam show
check out my channel thx plsz
bazoombaz11 1 year ago
You were strong, brave, and above all you never forgot to be awesome.
Rest In Awesome Esther, Nerdfighteria wont forget you. We love you.
ericsimaginaryfriend 1 year ago
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ericsimaginaryfriend 1 year ago
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ericsimaginaryfriend 1 year ago
We miss you Esther. Can't belive you're still gone
CoconuttyScent 1 year ago
Esther is amazing. She might not be the strongest person out there, might only be able to lay there in her bed or couch, may have to push herself to wake up each day, but she DOES. She keeps living on, even though she's not on earth anymore. She's like a stone dropped in a pond, the ripples of everything she is and did continues on. Esther, I never knew you. But you're amazing. Just by being YOU. DFTBA. This star will never go out. Live on Esther. Live on.
deoyx 1 year ago
It's ridiculous how much a person can touch you when you've only watched their videos. She's a normal teenager and she felt it was important that everybody knew that, but on the other hand she's an extremely awesome teenager and nerdfighter.
This star won't go out <3 Let's fight those dementors!
HPPirates 1 year ago
This is the first video I've ever seen of hers and I realize that she's not anymore wise or different from us. She is greatly open, honest and, above all, BRAVE. Not to mention, she's manage to express herself and the way many of us feel in 3:33 seconds. RIA.
singsongx3 1 year ago
Esther, we love you! Rest in Awesome!
1646Alex 1 year ago
no, this star wont go out. RIA.
forwantofabetterword 1 year ago
you just made me bawl my eyes out. rest in awesome :')
poofyhamsters 1 year ago
You are so beautiful.
madasrabbits06 1 year ago
We'll catch on Rest in Peace keep on shining
yutubero 1 year ago
R.I.A. Esther
GriffinWolf2008 1 year ago
It's still so sad that Esther is no longer here with us, but it's good to think that she's out of her pain and worry and confusion.
twinkletoes121 1 year ago
She seems mature, not just for a 16 year old, but for a person of any age. Its her honesty and openess that makes me think that, and I don't just mean with us but towards her own feelings. Inspiring and humbling.
InnocenceExperience 1 year ago 2
This video is making me cry.
We love you, Esther.
mmariissa 1 year ago
it makes me happy to see that this video doesn't have a single tumbs down. it shows how much everyone loves esther.
so keep tumbing up if you see this.
R.I.A. ESTHER! <3
rosieg925 1 year ago
I only ever talked to Esther once. It was on blogtv after one of john's shows. I just told her about a private message that I sent to her, and she told me that she'd send me a response when she got to it. I guess she never got to it.
RIA
AVeryIronicGoose 1 year ago
this. makes. me. bawl.
asdfjulie 1 year ago
It's really hard to believe that this full-of-life girl is gone...
Domatophobic 1 year ago
you taught me more than anyone I've ever known. I believe that every persons heart is separated into little sections, each dedicated to a passion, a moment, or a person. I believe that anyone who has ever seen a video of yours has a small section just for you. That section reminds me every day to love. Love, live, and laugh. And for you, I will try. RIA, Esther.
Kkxlovesxyou 1 year ago 2
Wow :O You make me feel like you understand and now your gone and it feels horrible. R.I.P <3
MeIzNinjaGangsta 1 year ago 2
A video to melt the coldest of hearts.
Thank you, it needs to be said again
and again thank you.
sirussm 1 year ago 2
Esther, I am crying as if I knew you all along. RIA, Esther. You were such an inspiration to thousands of us. We nerdfighters all know you are watching us right now and smiling. We love you, we salute you, we miss you.
singaling44 1 year ago 4
R.I.P Esther<3
LawlietJourney 1 year ago 3
i wish you were here.
hughes40 1 year ago
@hughes40
*hugs*
RememberTheTrees 1 year ago
i just stumbled apon this vid and everybody was saying she passed away, i dont know who this girl is but i feel like crying watching this and knowing shes gone. but i know shes with farther , you did what u were suppose to do in life esther , lots of love <3 R.I.P Esther.
youngstar898 1 year ago
I'm so sorry I didn't watch your videos while you were alive,Esther.I wish I had,I really do.
I read your twitter and have only watched this video so far,but I can tell that you were an amazing,beautiful person and people really loved you and respected you.
Thank you for being who you were.
Rest in Awesome.
kaygb23 1 year ago 2
You and I are just alike. I know the feeling of being lost and confused. I wish so much I could have met you sooner and talked to you. I've had cancer since I was six and I'm fifteen now. It's hard and there were times when I just wanted to give in and give up. There were times when I just couldn't take it anymore and wanted everything to go away. I also know what it's like to lose contacts with your friends. Whether you believe it or not you are an inspiration to thousands. Rest in Awesome.
Alaynavlog 1 year ago
also: you don't need to feel ashamed that you did nothing with your life, because that's not true. You gave so much hope to so many people, you helped us all feel better when we were sad, words can't explain.
venturesomeness 1 year ago
Thank you for being a part of the nerdfighter community, it's so special to know that there are good people out there. I never knew you, or even spoke to you, and it seemed like you were just another person, but now I know, that you weren't just another person, you were and are Esther, an amazing girl. I know that everyone here loves you. so much. you'll always be a part of our lives. This star won't go out. Thank you Esther! <3
venturesomeness 1 year ago
Thank you for being a part of the nerdfighter community, it's so special to know that there are good people out there. I never knew you, or even spoke to you, and it seemed like you were just another person, but now I know, that you weren't just another person, you were and are Esther, an amazing girl. I know that everyone here loves you. so much. you'll always be a part of our lives. This star won't go out. Thank you Esther! <3
venturesomeness 1 year ago
I'm so sad...can hardly see what i am typing as the tears get on the way...
shitypants84 1 year ago
I am soo so sad i didn't wach this before u died , and I really waned to meet u , u are an good person and a beautiful person whit a big heart , and u are now at a beather place we love u <3 :(
lakygirl66 1 year ago
I hate the fact that I did not know Esther when she was alive! She is such an amazing people! I have been reading tweets and blogs about and by her and watching videos and I have been BAWLING crying! I just know that anyone who life Esther touched was all the better for it and her memory will live on!
Rest in awesome!
bronaghmca 1 year ago 2
Esther, I know you're gone, but I'd like to think somehow this will still reach you. Here's the truth: who you are and the way the Nerdfighters think of you is a beautiful thing. We know you're not perfect. The thing is, we don't care. An inspiration shouldn't be perfect, she should be real.
The television show Firefly said it best in the episode Jaynestown: "Ain't about you, Jayne. It's about what they need." Nerdfighteria needed you. We'll always need you. And we'll always love you.
Lumos.
enya0742 1 year ago 4
You seem like such a sweet person. Rest in peace.
0ShyLikeThat0 1 year ago
RIA Esther. Your spirit and honesty will live on forever.
SissySassafras 1 year ago
You are an amazing person esther.
You touched my life even though we never met, or even spoke.
I admire you so much.
Rest in awesome.
BuzzBourko 1 year ago 3
Rest in awesome. We'll miss all of your amazingness and all of your flaws. I admire you.
LeBoboz 1 year ago
A very good reminder. Thank You for reminding me.
stigmatadigitalscars 1 year ago
Rest in Awesome
robbielover2468 1 year ago
My heart is in pain. R.I.A sweety.
HockeyGirlie26 1 year ago 3
i just heard your name through a video through tumblr. i randomly clicked on this video, not having any idea who you were.
i wish i would've known you before now.
but i am so glad that through videos like these,
and everything else you've posted and sent through the world we call
the internet ,
more people can hear your voice.
:) i'm glad you're cancer free now <3
xoxALISHA3xox 1 year ago 2
R.I.A esther
dontwalkthedog 1 year ago
It breaks my heart to watch you cry.
RaurieLeigh 1 year ago 4
Goodbye.
ellenrocksyourworld 1 year ago
This video breaks my heart. R.I.A. Esther. You will never be forgotten.
madasrabbits06 1 year ago 2
I feel guilty I didn't watch any of your videos until you died. I feel silly that I'm crying at this, even though I've never spoken to you, or had any contact with you or anyone that knows you, and I only know of you through vlogbrothers videos. I feel sad for your family and friends, but I'm happy that youre now at peace and you dont have to battle with cancer anymore.
wow, feelings out - feels better.
rest in awesome esther.
omgitsmegx 1 year ago 323
R.I.A
You will be missed.
Paperwillow 1 year ago
Dear Esther,
Everybody has angst we all yell at our parents nobody is perfect I hope you didn't feel like you had to be. Your parents love you the in the know YouTube community people love you and we don't blame you for anything. Love who you are and have fun.
R.I.P Esther Earl. ♥♥♥
swiimgfreek 1 year ago
R.I.A.
atticus2190 1 year ago
We love you Esther, the star will truly never go out.
R.I.A.
Mslay3r 1 year ago
RIA. Wish I'd known about you sooner.
madinthemoon 1 year ago 3
I'm a stranger, but for the record, I wish the cancer never happened too.
R.I.A.
sidewalksiren 1 year ago 67
this video has no dislikes <3
RIA
bonjourlaure 1 year ago
@NotReallyHereSoYea i agree whole heartedly!
Littobell 1 year ago
R.I.A <3
MizzEveryThingGirl 1 year ago
This is the video that I thought about when I heard the news.
...and it made me cry, Esther You will never be forgotten.
R.I.A
QuinnHoyt 1 year ago 3
This is why I don't believe in god. If he had the power to stop her death, Why didn't he?
Someone as happy and awesome as her Deserves to live forever. But she will always live forever in my heart.
Rest in awesome, Esther. xxx
tabbykatification 1 year ago 2
@tabbykatification Oprah has the means to write you a million dollar check but she hasn't - maybe she knows that if you had a million dollars you would become a crack addict so she'll never write that check......it doesn't mean that Oprah is not there.......but then again this is coming from an idiot like me !
Anyway, rest in peace Esther....
NatePinkyVideos 1 year ago
@NatePinkyVideos That is the most American response I have ever seen (I'm British).
tabbykatification 1 year ago
it is a sad day when i dear child of innocents passes to the next life.
may she rest in peace.
and may we to learn from her. even the face of death we shall not flinch, may we live in happiness - till the end.
TalkativeHands 1 year ago
i feel so sad and guilty that esther felt ashamed and that she felt she wasn't doing anything with her life. she was doing so much more for us than she will ever know and i wish we'd told her more. thank you for blessing us with your online presence esther. we love and miss you and will never,ever forget you. RIA xxx
merelysaying 1 year ago 6
All tho we have never met your AMAZING zest for life and the things you loved inspire me to be a better person ! I've a whole lot of sad going on learning of your passing, you will continue to inspire through your vids and can only imagine the greatness you've brought to the other side xx
siliconetoast 1 year ago
You are an inspiration! I won't forget you.
sunlitspot 1 year ago
I only watched this a couple of weeks ago... totally different effect on me now... :') we will all miss her
melodykat0 1 year ago
I can't stop watching this. It's reminding me that she was human, she felt, and she lived and inspired us. And we love her, and she loves us.
Immashaynerd 1 year ago 2
You are braver and stronger and better than I am. You are so incredible. I never knew you but you inspired me to do so much more. Thank you x
PrettyFascinated 1 year ago
nobody is perfect. And we know your not, but you are a wonderful person. You were going through a lot. I don't want you to have any regrets right now. You lived a great life, and inspired so many people and touched their hearts. You are not a bad person, and you knew that. The world is your oyster. Rest in peace, Esther. DFTBAUTIH (don't forget to be awesome up there in heaven).
TheSingingPeople 1 year ago 2
I love you, Esther! You were such an inspiration to me!
You are being missed sooooo much and i'm sad you had to go so young.
R.I.P. <3
kiwigirl793 1 year ago 3
keep fighting esther, we're all with you :(. We love you.
AnnieAlwaysFalls 1 year ago 47
Dear Esther,
You are, above all else, a human being. And you know what? That's OK! Because so am I, and so are all the nerdfighters. Human beings are flawed; We have emotions that we can't always control, we are susceptible to sickness, and we find it so much easier to see differences than similarities. But we are also awesome. We can come together as total strangers and talk to one another, share ideas and give hope. Thank you for being a human, thank you for sharing your humanity. DFTBA.
StephenYPower 1 year ago
Wow. Okay, I know I'm not in the same boat as you - but that' exactly how I feel whenever someone says something nice about me. I feel like "OMG! No, you have it all wrong! I'm a real jerk at times! Just ask my younger brother!"
UnculturedProject 1 year ago
Esther, I'm sure others have said this, but nobody expects you to be amazing all the time, nor do they expect you to be strong all the time. Everybody has their moments. However, what I, (and the millions of other people watching) find amazing is the fact that you are able to do the things that you are able to do, as well as the fact that you are secure enough to admit when you are struggling or you are not feeling as strong as you would like to be.
Best of luck with your test results
beenkissinwho 1 year ago 2
I was going to write stuff, but then I realised other people had already said what I was thinking, so I thumbs-uped those instead. Just be you and take one day at a time.
sepiasunrise 1 year ago 6
Sounds like mostly typical teen stuff. Everybody goes though the teen stuff, crying, getting angry, yelling, doing stupid stuff, ect. But you know, with cancer.
Hope you're gettin better.
radth23 1 year ago
awww :( this video actually made me rather sad
but just because you're not always awesome, just remember DFTBA. Just because you can't all the time doesn't mean you aren't.
Also do stuff, boredom sucks
asofaihp 1 year ago
esther this video literally made me cry. you are so strong and i know for a fact that all of nerdfighteria loves you. <3 <3 <3
itsthegreenplatypus 1 year ago
If ever you want to laugh my videos are always there for ya your video has really touched me, let us know how it all goes (Wimblefingers crossed for ya) :)
Wimblestick 1 year ago
Esther, I love you for exactly who you are. I know I don't know you that well, but I know that you're human and I know how it feels when people think that you're what they've seen or heard online and that's all. I'm here for you, and I'm glad that you're you. :)
devilishlypure 1 year ago
you're a good person even if you think your not that fact that you aren't always great and you're willing to admit it shows how great you are just keep being you
edelric1232 1 year ago
:)
You are already doing something important with your life! More than most people.
Just by making these videos and sharing about yourself, your feelings, and particularly your condition, you are opening people's minds and hearts.
And that's way cool.
sophalopod 1 year ago 2
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Wimblestick 1 year ago
we hate your cancer too. There are so many people on your side. Best wishes and we all know you will never FTBA. <3
amandaxo01 1 year ago
Esther's human! Alert the authorities! :P
Personally, I think you being this candid and open about your feelings and everything you have gone through proves the strength that you don't think you always have. It's not really about always being perfect because no one can do that! You bring hope to more people than I think you realize. <333
coughdrop01 1 year ago
We're only human. And we all have good sides and bad sides. You just have to figure out which side is standing out more. I don't know you, but this far you're good sides stand out more to me.
ThereIsNoTimeForUs 1 year ago
I want to give you a big hug. If everyone took your advice and actually opened up, things would be a lot easier for all of us :)
stay strong esther! Subscribing to you was one of the most fulfilling things I've done this year.
wolverette01 1 year ago
I think you need to listen to the David Choi song, "Happiness Is Always Near."
BlueSquidProductions 1 year ago
I like that you told us that you aren't amazing all the time, because it made me think about how I'm not amazing all the time and that we should all be striving to be more amazing more of the time :)
mathstalio 1 year ago
You can do this! I have total faith in you, and I agree, getting feelings out is AWESOME. Hope the scan goes well.
-Kate
kateybaby122 1 year ago
*hugs* Prayers and positive, healing thoughts sent up for you! Wishing you the absolute best!!
kokomoshanno 1 year ago
Hey, Esther. Firstly, I want to say that I hope your scans are okay. And also, I'd like to say that, if you want someone to talk to, just message me. I tried to send you a message through youtube, but you never responded, lol. I know what you're going through. Like, I REALLY know what you're going through. And sometimes all we need is to talk to someone and have them say it's OKAY to feel this way. Best wishes. (Nerdfighter reference? Anyone?)
-Ashley
muggle394 1 year ago
Awwh, Esther, you're amazing. Good luck and best wishes, we all love you! =].
haloeffectx 1 year ago
Good luck tomorrow, Esther. I'll be sending positive thoughts your way.
NinjasOfMalacology 1 year ago
I am so much like you it's not even funny... our brains think the same, I guess. Keep rockin' it out, Esther. Might I ask, how did you get your name? It is a lovely one indeed.
spongipookinz 1 year ago
Hey girl :)
My dad has cancer and is having a scan tomorrow to see if it has spread, too. Small world.
Sharing feelings is great, and I thank you for doing so. You're awesome!!!
mametmonster 1 year ago
I've only just started watching your videos and I find you so inspiring :) no-one is perfect all the time and you have obvious reasons for not always feeling brave :) also you have such cute dimples, hehehe :) x
MrsWizz96 1 year ago
You're fantastic, Esther! Don't let anything get you down! You're only human, but we all love you anyway!
mircat93 1 year ago