Never co-sign anything with a woman, never date or marry an illegal immigrant/google marriage fraud, avoid long distance relationships, listen to Tom Leykis, women come and go but a good education last forever, avoid single moms with kids still at home/it's a package deal, always use condoms when having sex, the less attachment to women the less suffering, never buy anything on a first meet up with a woman, the person less interested in the relationship controls the relationship, go dutch.
If you are confused as to why you hear laughter in the audience....it is because Dane Cook's management brings in 100's of ovulating teenage girls right before the performance.
Only teenage girls find him funny. They are just attracted to his confidence....which is false and extreme. This confidence comes from his own psycosis. He is manic when he does these performances....its sad that girls think a comedian is funny just because he has a delusion of himself being funny.
@Detth2you If you don't like Dane Cook, then don't watch him. It's as simple as that. You don't need to go leaving hate comments and telling us to kill ourselves, because the truth is nobody gives a crap about your opinion.
Random comment: Have you ever been flipping through channels and you come across "Disney XD" but the XD doesn't look like an XD but XItodealwiththesewhinylittlebratsthatsaytheyareteensbutjustkidsonstariodskillme....D
This comment has received too many negative votesshow
Dane Cook is a douchebag and if you like him then you should kill yourself. If euthanasia was legal Dane Cook and all of his fans would be dead. Now who here wants to get an abortion?!
@Detth2you The humor everyone but you and the few haters like you can't see because obviously you can't take a joke, or you grew up in a very serious home. Which, for either of those, I feel sorry for you.
what's funny about an idiot running around being loud? That's like saying a 12 year old on a sugar high is funny, and if you think that is truly funny well I'm obviously talking to an immature imbocile.
@Detth2you You mean imbecile? If your trying to insult people, the least you can do is spell correctly otherwise the insult just falls back to you. By the way, people are allowed to have their own opinions and there is no need to go so overboard with it.
Oh so you're going to laugh at me over ONE SIMPLE spelling error?! Jesus Christ, you're avoiding my whole argument just because of ONE idiotic spelling error. Now who really is the idiot here?
@Detth2you You shouldn't use his name in vain.... In case no one has ever told you. Even though I'm not Catholic/Christian, whatever other religion that believes in Jesus or any other higher power, I still think you should respect their god's name.
(I'm not trying to be cynical or snide, I'm just trying to kindly point something out.... I know after our past few comments it may seem that way but I promise I'm not trying to be rude, especially in this comment.)
@Losthopelostmind I have nothing to do with your convo but when you point out someone's spelling errors in an argument, you have nothing more to say, should stfu and get over it.
You don't even know me, You don't know a single thing about me, you don't know what interests I have and what my type of humor is. I'm known as the silliest guy out there in my group of friends and I'd probably be the last person on their list of people who are devoid of comedy in their life. You shouldn't go around telling people that they don't know what humor is when you yourself know nothing about them. Dane Cook isn't funny and only idiotic teenagers laugh at him.
@Detth2you Oh, and also, I'm considered the funniest person of my friends and family, other then maybe my dad, or my brother, who is dead. And after growing up with Henry Rollins' humor, I don't think Dane Cook is half bad.
And I have never heard the jokes Dane Cook uses, used by someone else. Then again, I don't watch Dane Cook all that often, I only did because someone in my family wanted to show this too me.
I'm sorry, not idiotic teenagers, idiotic CHILDREN. I'm assuming you are very young, when you get older and learn more of real comedic geniuses then you'll understand just how bad Dane Cook is as a comedi- I'm sorry, as a person. He steals jokes, he's almost as bad as Carlos Mencia.
@Detth2you Child? You think I'm a child. That's nice. I may be the youngest one in my classes but I'm the most mature kid in my classes, and of all the people I know- I've been told this time and time again, because I've had to grow up faster then any kid should've.
And no, I don't know a single thing about you, except you like to hate on videos you shouldn't even be watching if you get nothing positive or constructive out of the video. I don't think I want to know a single thing about you.
@Detth2you Which one? The one that said I respect other peoples beliefs and religions because that's the responsible and right thing to do, or that I'm the funniest person in my group of friends/family, which wouldn't make sense because you said the exact same thing.
" That's nice. I may be the youngest one in my classes but I'm the most mature kid in my classes"
Majority of the people I have met that say that are usually very immature and by the look of where this conversation is going and the fact that you have "Eminem" in your username also proves my point.
@Detth2you Oh really? Then why did all my teachers have nothing but compliments about me during Parent-Teacher Conferences last week, and all my friends come for me for advice and when they're down and need humor? According you you, I guess no reason. Ah well. You're right and everyone else is wrong apparently.
@Detth2you And since you brought Eminem into this conversation, who like a lot of people, immature and mature people, had a hard life and does not deserve to be insulted like I believe you just unnecessarily did, I might as well post a quote of his I like.
I am whatever you say I am; if I wasn't, then why would you say I am
So, I am, according to his logic and your comments, an immature child who has no humor. Okie-dokie! :)
@Detth2you While I'm at it, might as well put some more bands I like so you can hate on them too!
My Chemical Romance, Black Veil Brides, Avenged Sevenfold, 30 Seconds to Mars, Children of Distance (not in English) Jet, and eh let's just throw Marianas Trench in for fun.
You can just be like all the other haters that are out numbered by all the fans each band has.
And lets make this fair and tell me some bands you like so I can judge on a personal level if they are worth listening too.
@Detth2you I'm an EMO kid? You realized emo means emotional right? Everyone has emotions, in case you haven't noti- ohhhh wait you don't do you? You're different from everyone else? Okay sorry I forgot about that for a couple minutes.
And, I'm not emo, I do not believe the world centers around me, and you seem all fine and dandy on judging me and my taste in music, you won't even put up a couple of your favorite bands.
@Detth2you Umm, I'm not emo? I don't get how you think judging other people on no evidence is right in anyway whatsoever? Especially when you don't give the chance for them to do the same, it isn't fair.
I'm not saying it should be, though.
And I've looked through your 'funny stuff' playlists and I'm not going to say you have no humor, because obviously do to be 1) calling me emo and 2) thinking those videos are funny, which I agree to the ones I have seen anyways.
@Detth2you So I do apologize for saying you have/had no humor, it was pretty rude of me too say that without knowing you, and obviously we are both wrong about each other.
@Detth2you Dude, you guys are getting way too worked up about this. You don't know each other.
Just a little advice though: if you're gonna get in an argument like this, you're gonna need to be prepared to counter his arguments, instead of just throwing out random assumptions like "Ah so you're an emo kid." Again, you don't know him.
Also, admitting you didn't read his post means that anything you say to contradict said post is invalidated right away.
And I should smack you for calling MCR and AV7X emo. BVB whatever, they could be I don't know and I don't make up things to make myself seem right.
And on that note, how in anyway at all are 30 Seconds to Mars, Children of Distance, or Marianas Trench emo? Children of Distance, if you even bothered to listen to them, is Hungarian Rap. Rap isn't emo. And 30 Seconds to Mars is post-grunge/alternative rock, and Marianas Trench is like pop-rock.
it must be somthing we do by default, lol i didnt even mean to but i just had a major nostalgic moment and i remeber using those exact tactics for my ex, lol oh god but i said the meanest thing, after awhile i got him to apologize to me lololol....
I have these fights with my boyfriend all the time xDDD
I found this like the 5th day I had with him, a "Nothing" fight and this kind of fight, and I showed him this he just stood there not laughing and like 5 minutes later he's like "...Stop watching Dane Cook, you're turning into a brain ninja". and just walked away. I laugh so hard that day xDD.
One of the greatest comedians ever in the history of white comedy.....never since Dan Akroyd and John Belushi and...whats-his-name who acts as George Bush on SNL...have we had a comedian like Mr.Cook.
I did this same thing to my guy XD Only I said, "You didn't make a good cheesecake," he just stood there. an Hour later he ran into my room he opened his mouth and he just stood there. I grinned. THIS WORKS! GIRLS WE CAN WIN AGAINST GUYS NOW!
@1995yuda What do you mean I don't know what a real man is? I'm 15 he is 16. He loves to bake and he is a huge otaku like me. We are SO meant for eachother and he respects me for being able to stop a fight. (Dane cook or anything else) I know he is a man...so who cares I luv him and he luvs me.
@1995yuda Jerk 1716 up, 364 down Noun. An idiot or stupid person. An insensitive, selfish, ignorant, cocky person who is inconsiderate and does stupid things.
"You're such a JERK for leaving me at the mall with no ride home!" I do not think you are a Jerk :) you seem like an interesting person.
@MandyHeartShadow "Like we couldn't before this? I don't know about you but I kicked major ass before this prick came along and laid it out for ya. You must suck at this if you needed his help."
WTF?
mandy,i enjoyed our little convo here,i think your boyfriend is in good hands..you really are an amazing girl and i hope you and your bf have a good relationship,i just tested you a little.
@MandyHeartShadow Like we couldn't before this? I don't know about you but I kicked major ass before this prick came along and laid it out for ya. You must suck at this if you needed his help.
@gh3legohero Ur sensitive... U will see alot of shit on the internet and frankly NOTHING was wrong with wut mandy said :/ so if u cant even take that one little comment which NEVER insulted anyone, u shuld really consider to gtfo the internet b4 ur make a total dumbass of urself (as u did now) THanks~ :D
I was the 6,700 like :D DANE COOK IS A FUNNY FUNNY MAN!
musicismylife12333 1 day ago
The very last "you don't even KNOW!" set me off ahahahaha!
tigerheart21 2 days ago 2
This guy does stand up the same way I talk on the phone. Pacing back and forth in a circle, doing weird hand movements. xD
alexiavazquez 2 days ago
WHO BOUGHT THE FUCKING NOODLES?!
deisaso321 2 days ago 3
lol when he says your just going to eat noddles say its going to go straight to your fat ass!!!!!!!!!!! haha.
ZachVipz 3 days ago
Comment removed
shereshefsky 4 days ago
YOU DON'T EVEN *voice cracks* KNOW!
ItalianoAmica 4 days ago
go call ur mum and talk for four hours im gonna play xbox!
Arotled 5 days ago
LOVE THIS
Lenori55 5 days ago
I love dane cook
rillingv 5 days ago
Holy crap dan cook is NOT funny.
suladas1 6 days ago
THAT IS A PANTRY!
TorianasaurusRex 6 days ago 2
You Dont even KNOWWWWW!!!!!!!!!
MindPlayer407 6 days ago
Comment removed
MindPlayer407 6 days ago
248 people are women
getflow1 6 days ago
This has been flagged as spam show
Never co-sign anything with a woman, never date or marry an illegal immigrant/google marriage fraud, avoid long distance relationships, listen to Tom Leykis, women come and go but a good education last forever, avoid single moms with kids still at home/it's a package deal, always use condoms when having sex, the less attachment to women the less suffering, never buy anything on a first meet up with a woman, the person less interested in the relationship controls the relationship, go dutch.
dontgetmarried999 1 week ago
Relationshit...OMG HAHAHHAHA
HHAHA OMG people argue in relationships!!!
LOL he just said DICKWAD!!! HAHAH
OMGOMG" HIS CDS ARE IN THE TRUCK!" FUCKING HILLARIOUS
"GO CALL YOUR MOM AND TALK TO HER FOR 4 HOURS, I play xbox" OMG OMG FUNNIEST THINK HE HAS SAID....
OMG HE SAID WOMEN MENTAL TERRORIST....BRAIN NINJAS OMG OMG FUNNY....THIS GUY IS A FUCKING GENIUS!!! soooooooooo funnyyyy.
TIC TAC SIZE COMMENT!!!! OMG HAHA...this guys is so dee....OMG A DETONATOR...JESUS SO FUCKING FUNNY!!!!!!!
JeffreyJenness 1 week ago
If you are confused as to why you hear laughter in the audience....it is because Dane Cook's management brings in 100's of ovulating teenage girls right before the performance.
Only teenage girls find him funny. They are just attracted to his confidence....which is false and extreme. This confidence comes from his own psycosis. He is manic when he does these performances....its sad that girls think a comedian is funny just because he has a delusion of himself being funny.
JeffreyJenness 1 week ago
WHO BOUGHT THE FUCKING NOODLES?!?! --- *high JUST TELL ME WHO BOUGHT THE NOODLES....
EtteClassic 1 week ago
Dane Cooke=Closet Fagott.!
usmaddog7 1 week ago
So true..
ambershindilla 1 week ago
abrasive sexist duchebag
WeRodeOnLights 1 week ago
i am a BRAIN NINJA
Raccoon2692 1 week ago
this guy over-repeats himself
utvara1 1 week ago
they cant remember the layout of their house! Nope thats a pantry XD
they dont come up with anything to say! ;p
XxBlOnDeDaNcErxX 1 week ago
this whole thing is so true and it works on my friend too (we r both girls) XD
saw this aand thought omg this is so true!
XxBlOnDeDaNcErxX 1 week ago
you know why my dad baught them? cuz hes a SMART FUCKIN GUY!
camryclubofcasper 1 week ago
milk..
TheLuci20 1 week ago
You don't even know!
Rubix0517 1 week ago
you are brain ninjas, you get into there with you katanas and disappear into the night!
cacsoccer101 1 week ago
MY FATHER WAS A BRILLIANT MAN!!!
Omgits2hetalia 1 week ago 62
@Omgits2hetalia YOU DONT EVEN KNOW!!!
niterider4000 1 week ago
@Omgits2hetalia YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW
zeldamaster18 4 days ago
YOU DONT EVEN KNOW!
ShouxLiengod 1 week ago
damn. this is how my mom is with arguments.
archounduser10 1 week ago
who bought the fuking noddles. i bought the fuking noddles
TheDarklordboggeris 1 week ago
bahahaha i love it(:
sexiicandy101 1 week ago
Haha Dane Cook is amazing! This is hilarious and so true. :D
xBethiexMusicx 1 week ago
dane cook is sayin d right dhang
snipe678 1 week ago
you dont even... KNOW!
RESTxINxPIECEZ 2 weeks ago
What videogame is he playing online that has a gatling gun?
DistrictEleven 2 weeks ago
@DistrictEleven Team Fortress 2
TheCyborgFox 2 weeks ago
my cds are in his car now fight me for three days
MindPlayer407 2 weeks ago
the moment her leg locks like this...youve just droven into f*ck ville...and she is the mayor!
MrsPrideFMA 2 weeks ago
The wrst part is it's true
OwlStarlight 2 weeks ago
@Detth2you If you don't like Dane Cook, then don't watch him. It's as simple as that. You don't need to go leaving hate comments and telling us to kill ourselves, because the truth is nobody gives a crap about your opinion.
denarox18 2 weeks ago 2
@denarox18 tru that man
mw3america1 2 weeks ago
@denarox18
Dane Cook steals jokes and when he doesn't he's just not funny.
Detth2you 2 weeks ago
Uncle Buck is a good movie :P
MCRmyandEminem 2 weeks ago
What if your fighting while sitting down.... SHARE YOUR RELATIONSHIP SECRETS I MUST KNOW !
xXNightManXx 2 weeks ago
Random comment: Have you ever been flipping through channels and you come across "Disney XD" but the XD doesn't look like an XD but XItodealwiththesewhinylittlebratsthatsaytheyareteensbutjustkidsonstariodskillme....D
bombingparadise 2 weeks ago
@bombingparadise
I am a teen who one, does not watch Disney/Disney XD, and I know how to spell steroids. Oh yeah and I don't do drugs.
MCRmyandEminem 2 weeks ago
@MCRmyandEminem Neither do I. I only see it when I'm channel switching
bombingparadise 2 weeks ago
@bombingparadise Lol exactly :P
MCRmyandEminem 2 weeks ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
Dane Cook is a douchebag and if you like him then you should kill yourself. If euthanasia was legal Dane Cook and all of his fans would be dead. Now who here wants to get an abortion?!
Detth2you 2 weeks ago
@Detth2you Umm where did this come from? Can't enjoy a little humor can we?
MCRmyandEminem 2 weeks ago
@MCRmyandEminem
what humor?
Detth2you 2 weeks ago
@Detth2you The humor everyone but you and the few haters like you can't see because obviously you can't take a joke, or you grew up in a very serious home. Which, for either of those, I feel sorry for you.
MCRmyandEminem 2 weeks ago
@MCRmyandEminem
what's funny about an idiot running around being loud? That's like saying a 12 year old on a sugar high is funny, and if you think that is truly funny well I'm obviously talking to an immature imbocile.
Detth2you 2 weeks ago
@Detth2you You mean imbecile? If your trying to insult people, the least you can do is spell correctly otherwise the insult just falls back to you. By the way, people are allowed to have their own opinions and there is no need to go so overboard with it.
Losthopelostmind 2 weeks ago 20
@Losthopelostmind
Oh so you're going to laugh at me over ONE SIMPLE spelling error?! Jesus Christ, you're avoiding my whole argument just because of ONE idiotic spelling error. Now who really is the idiot here?
Detth2you 2 weeks ago
@Detth2you You shouldn't use his name in vain.... In case no one has ever told you. Even though I'm not Catholic/Christian, whatever other religion that believes in Jesus or any other higher power, I still think you should respect their god's name.
(I'm not trying to be cynical or snide, I'm just trying to kindly point something out.... I know after our past few comments it may seem that way but I promise I'm not trying to be rude, especially in this comment.)
MCRmyandEminem 2 weeks ago
@Losthopelostmind You mean "you're".
WilliamThomasStory 1 week ago
@Losthopelostmind OHH SNAP!!!!! SOMEONE JUST GOT BURNED!!!!!!
CadenJames100 1 week ago
@Losthopelostmind you're*
Amishboy2014 5 days ago 2
Comment removed
Emnasty63 5 days ago
@Losthopelostmind I have nothing to do with your convo but when you point out someone's spelling errors in an argument, you have nothing more to say, should stfu and get over it.
Emnasty63 5 days ago
@Detth2you I agree with Losthopelostmind, for one, and two, I rest my case with: You need some more humor in your life.
MCRmyandEminem 2 weeks ago
@MCRmyandEminem
You don't even know me, You don't know a single thing about me, you don't know what interests I have and what my type of humor is. I'm known as the silliest guy out there in my group of friends and I'd probably be the last person on their list of people who are devoid of comedy in their life. You shouldn't go around telling people that they don't know what humor is when you yourself know nothing about them. Dane Cook isn't funny and only idiotic teenagers laugh at him.
Detth2you 2 weeks ago
@Detth2you Oh, and also, I'm considered the funniest person of my friends and family, other then maybe my dad, or my brother, who is dead. And after growing up with Henry Rollins' humor, I don't think Dane Cook is half bad.
And I have never heard the jokes Dane Cook uses, used by someone else. Then again, I don't watch Dane Cook all that often, I only did because someone in my family wanted to show this too me.
And I thought it was funny.
And Silly/Funny can be two different things.
MCRmyandEminem 2 weeks ago
@MCRmyandEminem
I'm sorry, not idiotic teenagers, idiotic CHILDREN. I'm assuming you are very young, when you get older and learn more of real comedic geniuses then you'll understand just how bad Dane Cook is as a comedi- I'm sorry, as a person. He steals jokes, he's almost as bad as Carlos Mencia.
Detth2you 2 weeks ago
@Detth2you Child? You think I'm a child. That's nice. I may be the youngest one in my classes but I'm the most mature kid in my classes, and of all the people I know- I've been told this time and time again, because I've had to grow up faster then any kid should've.
And no, I don't know a single thing about you, except you like to hate on videos you shouldn't even be watching if you get nothing positive or constructive out of the video. I don't think I want to know a single thing about you.
MCRmyandEminem 2 weeks ago
@MCRmyandEminem
the fact that you said that just shows how childish you are lol
Detth2you 2 weeks ago
@Detth2you Which one? The one that said I respect other peoples beliefs and religions because that's the responsible and right thing to do, or that I'm the funniest person in my group of friends/family, which wouldn't make sense because you said the exact same thing.
MCRmyandEminem 2 weeks ago
@MCRmyandEminem
" That's nice. I may be the youngest one in my classes but I'm the most mature kid in my classes"
Majority of the people I have met that say that are usually very immature and by the look of where this conversation is going and the fact that you have "Eminem" in your username also proves my point.
Detth2you 1 week ago
@Detth2you Oh really? Then why did all my teachers have nothing but compliments about me during Parent-Teacher Conferences last week, and all my friends come for me for advice and when they're down and need humor? According you you, I guess no reason. Ah well. You're right and everyone else is wrong apparently.
MCRmyandEminem 1 week ago
@Detth2you And since you brought Eminem into this conversation, who like a lot of people, immature and mature people, had a hard life and does not deserve to be insulted like I believe you just unnecessarily did, I might as well post a quote of his I like.
I am whatever you say I am; if I wasn't, then why would you say I am
So, I am, according to his logic and your comments, an immature child who has no humor. Okie-dokie! :)
MCRmyandEminem 1 week ago
@Detth2you While I'm at it, might as well put some more bands I like so you can hate on them too!
My Chemical Romance, Black Veil Brides, Avenged Sevenfold, 30 Seconds to Mars, Children of Distance (not in English) Jet, and eh let's just throw Marianas Trench in for fun.
You can just be like all the other haters that are out numbered by all the fans each band has.
And lets make this fair and tell me some bands you like so I can judge on a personal level if they are worth listening too.
MCRmyandEminem 1 week ago
@MCRmyandEminem
Ah so you're an emo kid who thinks the world centers around them, I believe I am done here then.
Detth2you 1 week ago
@Detth2you I'm an EMO kid? You realized emo means emotional right? Everyone has emotions, in case you haven't noti- ohhhh wait you don't do you? You're different from everyone else? Okay sorry I forgot about that for a couple minutes.
And, I'm not emo, I do not believe the world centers around me, and you seem all fine and dandy on judging me and my taste in music, you won't even put up a couple of your favorite bands.
MCRmyandEminem 1 week ago
@MCRmyandEminem
I stopped reading after the first line, yeah you're definitely an emo kid. An angry emo kid at that.
Detth2you 1 week ago
@Detth2you Umm, I'm not emo? I don't get how you think judging other people on no evidence is right in anyway whatsoever? Especially when you don't give the chance for them to do the same, it isn't fair.
I'm not saying it should be, though.
And I've looked through your 'funny stuff' playlists and I'm not going to say you have no humor, because obviously do to be 1) calling me emo and 2) thinking those videos are funny, which I agree to the ones I have seen anyways.
MCRmyandEminem 1 week ago
@Detth2you So I do apologize for saying you have/had no humor, it was pretty rude of me too say that without knowing you, and obviously we are both wrong about each other.
MCRmyandEminem 1 week ago
@Detth2you Dude, you guys are getting way too worked up about this. You don't know each other.
Just a little advice though: if you're gonna get in an argument like this, you're gonna need to be prepared to counter his arguments, instead of just throwing out random assumptions like "Ah so you're an emo kid." Again, you don't know him.
Also, admitting you didn't read his post means that anything you say to contradict said post is invalidated right away.
DudeBeNice 3 days ago
@Detth2you
And I should smack you for calling MCR and AV7X emo. BVB whatever, they could be I don't know and I don't make up things to make myself seem right.
And on that note, how in anyway at all are 30 Seconds to Mars, Children of Distance, or Marianas Trench emo? Children of Distance, if you even bothered to listen to them, is Hungarian Rap. Rap isn't emo. And 30 Seconds to Mars is post-grunge/alternative rock, and Marianas Trench is like pop-rock.
MCRmyandEminem 1 week ago
@Detth2you I don't think most emo people would listen to that. MAYBE emo Hungarians, if they liked rap, but I'm not Hungarian.
MCRmyandEminem 1 week ago
@Detth2you why would you say that? how can you be so mean and ugly as to say such things. btw in my opinion abortion is dead wrong ,it is murder
babybearaful 2 weeks ago
@babybearaful
I like how you didn't get my ironic joke(Euthanasia is illegal and yet we kill babies).
Detth2you 2 weeks ago
LMAO!! hahahahahahahaha i think i have died from laughter X'D
MusicDigger259 2 weeks ago
hes not funny hes just a good looking guy
thissitesuxmytwat01 2 weeks ago
@thissitesuxmytwat01 Evidently 6,447 people disagree.
FriendlyBeaification 2 weeks ago
you dont even KNOW ! i died i died. oh my god, ur guaranteed to laugh at least 10 times throughout all of his vids
bestofeverymoment 2 weeks ago
I luv this man XD
LuvMyDogsAndAnime 3 weeks ago
"Who bought the fu@&!#g noodles?!"
computerscreentv96 3 weeks ago
this guy is not funny
georgetaylor100 3 weeks ago
@georgetaylor100 I agree this guy is only a little funny and what kind of punk needs2 make a woman cry
bettyjtanner 2 weeks ago
SO TRUE
ashleybarnes91 3 weeks ago
The 228 guys that disliked this drove into FUCKVILLE!!
abcdefg1234567ist 3 weeks ago 20
"Cocaine is a hell of a drug..." -- Rick James
pppppatrikkkkk 3 weeks ago
GO
KI
TANA
hinafan123 3 weeks ago
After following George Carlin, Bill Hicks, and Lewis Black, this guy seems like he only caters to 15 year old boys or tween girls.
missartist123 3 weeks ago 2
....you've just driven into fuckville
TightScope 3 weeks ago 40
@TightScope and shes the mayor!!
platypuz24 2 weeks ago
@TightScope and she's the mayor.
Gaiathecreator90 1 week ago
WHAT THE HELL. HE IS NOT FUNNY. NOT EVEN THE AUDIENCE FIND HIM FUNNY SO THEY CHEER! IT'S MORE OF A TIP SHOW!
TalkSweetProductions 3 weeks ago
it must be somthing we do by default, lol i didnt even mean to but i just had a major nostalgic moment and i remeber using those exact tactics for my ex, lol oh god but i said the meanest thing, after awhile i got him to apologize to me lololol....
miyaismykitty2 3 weeks ago
this guy is not funny
HamayunShah 3 weeks ago
Stop the cheering and shit fucking wanna hear the joke
Mass1vv3 3 weeks ago
@Mass1vv3 holy fuck this is almost unwatchable
robby1303 3 weeks ago
...i love this video haha dane cook is the shit x)...
ashleyanddavid51011 3 weeks ago
XD THE FUNNIEST COMEDIAN OF ALL TIME! HE'S SERIOUSLY THE BEST!
SO GREAT!
JARTX 3 weeks ago
@JARTX I agree, like every sentence he says I crack up laughing.
VocaloidWarriorCats 3 weeks ago
hihihihi I have trouble getting along with women hihihihi
neothugx 3 weeks ago
Lol XD ima do this !
aliciaartist129 3 weeks ago
I have these fights with my boyfriend all the time xDDD
I found this like the 5th day I had with him, a "Nothing" fight and this kind of fight, and I showed him this he just stood there not laughing and like 5 minutes later he's like "...Stop watching Dane Cook, you're turning into a brain ninja". and just walked away. I laugh so hard that day xDD.
xXCloudRoxXx 3 weeks ago 14
shit my girl did this too me once and when i saw this i started laughing cuz i didnt realize she did that...then i beat the shit out of her.
jzamora999 3 weeks ago
@jzamora999 ur a mental prick
KeyLimePieRocknRoll 3 weeks ago
fuck it, this is too true NOT to be funny!! i love this man!!!!
97saoirse 3 weeks ago in playlist Dane Cook
My stomach is killing me and I'm only 1min through this. lmfao.
AnimalLoverCB 4 weeks ago
LMFAO so true
gabylovejamil 4 weeks ago
brain ninjas!!!!!!!!!!!!!
whitetiger908 4 weeks ago
i luv this guy!?! i love atheist sneeze,this one, and my kids octimus prime
featherxcrow4ever 4 weeks ago
he sounds like ashton cuther when he yells and ya i mispelled his name nobody perfect
Assviol8er 1 month ago
@Assviol8er ook then
1995yuda 4 weeks ago
he looks like hes on coke
AltairMactavish 1 month ago
You are mental terrorists. You are brain ninjas!
OnewingedAngel69 1 month ago 28
224 dislikes stop looking at you tube and get a life muhahaha
Godsismyrock 1 month ago
Dane, why you so awful? :c
Saskatchewan00 1 month ago
Brilliant comedian!
TheLilithChronicles 1 month ago
One of the greatest comedians ever in the history of white comedy.....never since Dan Akroyd and John Belushi and...whats-his-name who acts as George Bush on SNL...have we had a comedian like Mr.Cook.
Thank god for small miracles....
hoot72 1 month ago
This has been flagged as spam show
Funniest first time stand up comedian I've ever seen!!!!!!! hahahahaha search: Last Spartan Standing 2012 Craig Judy
pingponghero1 1 month ago
LMFAOO
Winkay1129 1 month ago
I did this same thing to my guy XD Only I said, "You didn't make a good cheesecake," he just stood there. an Hour later he ran into my room he opened his mouth and he just stood there. I grinned. THIS WORKS! GIRLS WE CAN WIN AGAINST GUYS NOW!
MandyHeartShadow 1 month ago 69
@MandyHeartShadow you don't know what a real man is....sorry.
1995yuda 1 month ago
@1995yuda What do you mean I don't know what a real man is? I'm 15 he is 16. He loves to bake and he is a huge otaku like me. We are SO meant for eachother and he respects me for being able to stop a fight. (Dane cook or anything else) I know he is a man...so who cares I luv him and he luvs me.
MandyHeartShadow 4 weeks ago
@MandyHeartShadow hoo =)!
you're 15....OK then.
=)
1995yuda 4 weeks ago
@1995yuda -_- *hip locks* yes I am 15.
MandyHeartShadow 4 weeks ago
@MandyHeartShadow Ok then...i'm gonna let you go this time,but i'm usually a jerk...^^
1995yuda 4 weeks ago
@1995yuda Jerk? what do you mean by that?
MandyHeartShadow 4 weeks ago
@MandyHeartShadow mandy,google "jerk definition" and go to the second result then read the first line,OK babe?
-_-
1995yuda 4 weeks ago
@1995yuda Jerk 1716 up, 364 down Noun. An idiot or stupid person. An insensitive, selfish, ignorant, cocky person who is inconsiderate and does stupid things.
"You're such a JERK for leaving me at the mall with no ride home!" I do not think you are a Jerk :) you seem like an interesting person.
MandyHeartShadow 3 weeks ago
@MandyHeartShadow Wow! slow down..i'm not gonna run!
besides, if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it
"Wuh Uh Oh Uh Uh Oh Uh Oh Oh Uh Uh Oh"
and that Fukkerita video....we'll see.
=)
1995yuda 3 weeks ago
@1995yuda That was made more than a year ago. I am better at singing now. I just haven't posted a video in a while.
MandyHeartShadow 3 weeks ago
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@MandyHeartShadow "Like we couldn't before this? I don't know about you but I kicked major ass before this prick came along and laid it out for ya. You must suck at this if you needed his help."
WTF?
mandy,i enjoyed our little convo here,i think your boyfriend is in good hands..you really are an amazing girl and i hope you and your bf have a good relationship,i just tested you a little.
and that Fukkerita video is not THAT bad...=)
1995yuda 3 weeks ago
@MandyHeartShadow Like we couldn't before this? I don't know about you but I kicked major ass before this prick came along and laid it out for ya. You must suck at this if you needed his help.
NoirRaven 3 weeks ago
@NoirRaven wait what are you talking about?
MandyHeartShadow 3 weeks ago
@NoirRaven yeah,what are you talking about?
1995yuda 3 weeks ago
@MandyHeartShadow shut the fuck up feminist, just accept your role in life and move on
gh3legohero 3 weeks ago
@gh3legohero wow someone isn't happy. I apologize if I sound feminist but you don't have to cuss at me. :( I'm sorry about that okay?
MandyHeartShadow 3 weeks ago
@gh3legohero fucking leave MandyHeartShadow alone, fucktard. It isn't her fault she's smarter than her guy :P
shadowkitkat11 3 weeks ago
@shadowkitkat11 I appreciate your concern but I shall say the same thing, you do not need to cuss. :) Thank you
MandyHeartShadow 3 weeks ago
@MandyHeartShadow Gomenasai (I'm sorry) :) Just thought I'd stand up for someone being brought down.
shadowkitkat11 3 weeks ago
@shadowkitkat11 Yay japanese fan! Lol it's okay shadow. You're clear :)
MandyHeartShadow 3 weeks ago
@gh3legohero Ur sensitive... U will see alot of shit on the internet and frankly NOTHING was wrong with wut mandy said :/ so if u cant even take that one little comment which NEVER insulted anyone, u shuld really consider to gtfo the internet b4 ur make a total dumbass of urself (as u did now) THanks~ :D
KuRaI8107 3 weeks ago
@MandyHeartShadow LAWL. Totally did this to mine too XD only I said, "Btw, your pancakes sucked." LOLOLOL
shadowkitkat11 3 weeks ago
@MandyHeartShadow well not really we guys can also not be a dumbass see when i get in fights with girls i always win not like most ppl
dragongod134 2 weeks ago
@dragongod134 then you must be a tough guy XD
MandyHeartShadow 2 weeks ago
I wonder why Cammehyabams doesn't like this guy?
NiGHTS4life 1 month ago
I love how Dane laughs at his own jokes! His laugh is so cute :)
AnimeCrazee13 1 month ago
Dane and his lisp-y female voices!!! xD
Nacyfangirl 1 month ago
only people with inferior brains find dane cook funny
uni4life1619 1 month ago
@uni4life1619 Only people with inferior brains find the need to diss a people over the internet.
Jgubanche25 1 month ago
Good Thing I'm single=D
Skoal36 1 month ago
Lol if my husband makes me cry he feels like shit. =P
CyanideSynn 1 month ago
this is soo accurate..
youareonmymind1 1 month ago
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youareonmymind1 1 month ago
Thanks for giving me the steps to win an argument :3
BeyondBirthdaysOnly1 1 month ago
lolz this is still funny
superlady1ify 1 month ago
MY FATHER IS A BRILLIANT MAN !!!!!
TheTheleboski 1 month ago
I can't believe I used to find him funny. This is so dumb.
qqwpq 1 month ago
@qqwpq Right? I remember laughing my head off at this when I was younge, but now it's just...not that funny.
XxTinyLoserxX 1 month ago
fuck dane cook he isnt a comedian hes a fag hopped up on meth
hellsblaze666 1 month ago