Saying "It's not who is right, it is what is right." "be right or be happy" is wrong thinking, because it leads to "peace at any price." which leads to abuse. What you said earlier is correct. It is loving the person and finding out what is important to them and if they also love you and find out what is important to you that is the key. What is important to you is important to me, that is getting to a higher plane.
"win-win" only works in some areas such as "I want a sports car and she wants a family car" The win-win in that is if you get both. But in other areas like lets say i want her to dress sexy for me once in a while and she's not comfortable with it... There is no "win-win" in this situation... or lets say i want another child and she doesn't again, there is no win-win there either... there are many, many situations where "win-win" just plainly doesn't work.
OK, so this is a negative video, what NOT to do, but I didn't hear any solutions as what to do in place of those three points. Men, if you want to win over a woman, don't act like you have a heart of steel. The key word here is "Love". Love one another - "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" - "Love your neighbor as yourself" and if you do all of those things, a good relationship will follow.
@listentotheteach1 Do what you enjoy doing. If she enjoys the same things, you'll enjoy doing them together. If you do things just to make her nod, you'll end up resenting and complaining. Or you'll try to "explain" to her why she is wrong which will be a competition over whose priorities are more important (your or hers).
And just maybe, some men should instead of shutting down simply grow up - and stop complaining that women keep nagging them - it might just be possible that, at least sometimes she's got a point - acknowledge that and then move forward positively together
Maybe it helps if you can apologize for any nasty comments or threats, " Sorry about those nasty comments, I only meant that I was furious about that matter, I do actually love you "
The compromise thing is *EXACTLY* what I tell people too! If you are in a GOOD relationship, you don't compromise! Compromising is something you do out of fear, not love!
If you are a lot into sports, you cannot "compromise" and start doing your sports less.
You can decide to invest more into your relationship, and give up a bit on your sports. THAT is okay, THAT works, but it is NOT compromising! It's investing!
I think what he is saying is that compromise can mean giving in, without negotiation. This can lead to resentment. If we talk it through and truly understand the other's view, then we can come to agreement as adults.
no lets be realistic if the girl u with cant reason with you an she wants it her way all the time an she cant compromise with you an meet u half way then the relatetionship wont work out an it will not go nowhere because an the longrun it must be 50/50 all the way if not then the relationship will choke trust me i been there with females in the past
This is great. No compromise. Communicate. Don't compete. Just respect that each person has their own way of going about achieving / doing something. Complain : focusing on what doesn't work rather than talking about what could work. That's powerful.
Compromise kills? the example you said has nothing to do with compromise. Compromise only exists when two equal things are made unbalanced. if i want a and you want b, we both cant have what we want, you compromise b so i can have a. you said if you want a car and i want security we both compromise what we want? this achieves nothing and defeats the purpose of the notion of compromising.
YOOOO lMFAO ROFl he just said the main three components of the relationship im in with this do-do bird >.< icant wait to call em and tell em to watch this vid.
See I'm the type that doesnot want to change anyone I get with. But some reason they always want to change me. And yes I can't stand a nagging woman, and often women don't know if they are nagging because it has become habitual. And what is there to be competive about. All negative energy should be charged to the game.
What is you or the other person can't or won't? ;(
Does that mean to give up and one person has to leave?
Just putting it out there because I know some are thinking it. The things you just pointed out are so "Spot On" You are brilliant btw. Where did you come up with you principles? Is it something you learned? or did you just come up with it through experiences as well as combined principles in Relationship counseling? I will subscribe and try to learn more. Thanks for these videos.
Saying "It's not who is right, it is what is right." "be right or be happy" is wrong thinking, because it leads to "peace at any price." which leads to abuse. What you said earlier is correct. It is loving the person and finding out what is important to them and if they also love you and find out what is important to you that is the key. What is important to you is important to me, that is getting to a higher plane.
LIOTBs 1 day ago
"win-win" only works in some areas such as "I want a sports car and she wants a family car" The win-win in that is if you get both. But in other areas like lets say i want her to dress sexy for me once in a while and she's not comfortable with it... There is no "win-win" in this situation... or lets say i want another child and she doesn't again, there is no win-win there either... there are many, many situations where "win-win" just plainly doesn't work.
Patsavanna 6 days ago
i like this guy!
thefutureofbass 2 weeks ago
OK, so this is a negative video, what NOT to do, but I didn't hear any solutions as what to do in place of those three points. Men, if you want to win over a woman, don't act like you have a heart of steel. The key word here is "Love". Love one another - "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" - "Love your neighbor as yourself" and if you do all of those things, a good relationship will follow.
listentotheteach1 2 weeks ago
@listentotheteach1 If you watched more carefully you would notice that he briefly says what to DO. How to act.
AKARAKAkeke 2 weeks ago
@listentotheteach1 Do what you enjoy doing. If she enjoys the same things, you'll enjoy doing them together. If you do things just to make her nod, you'll end up resenting and complaining. Or you'll try to "explain" to her why she is wrong which will be a competition over whose priorities are more important (your or hers).
drd105 3 days ago
And just maybe, some men should instead of shutting down simply grow up - and stop complaining that women keep nagging them - it might just be possible that, at least sometimes she's got a point - acknowledge that and then move forward positively together
Angelostontheon 3 weeks ago
Maybe it helps if you can apologize for any nasty comments or threats, " Sorry about those nasty comments, I only meant that I was furious about that matter, I do actually love you "
zytigon 3 weeks ago
Win-win works better than compromise
Seek to understand is better than being committed to being right.
Focus on the postive and build on that.
He shares a lot of similarities with Stephen Covey.
flutesusan 1 month ago
@flutesusan but win win is compromise lol
4664justin 1 month ago
The compromise thing is *EXACTLY* what I tell people too! If you are in a GOOD relationship, you don't compromise! Compromising is something you do out of fear, not love!
If you are a lot into sports, you cannot "compromise" and start doing your sports less.
You can decide to invest more into your relationship, and give up a bit on your sports. THAT is okay, THAT works, but it is NOT compromising! It's investing!
kenninast 1 month ago
2:36 I thought he was gonna say "If You're a dick" :D
12Sanguine 1 month ago
I think what he is saying is that compromise can mean giving in, without negotiation. This can lead to resentment. If we talk it through and truly understand the other's view, then we can come to agreement as adults.
TheRushMethod 1 month ago
no lets be realistic if the girl u with cant reason with you an she wants it her way all the time an she cant compromise with you an meet u half way then the relatetionship wont work out an it will not go nowhere because an the longrun it must be 50/50 all the way if not then the relationship will choke trust me i been there with females in the past
moneyoverbirds 2 months ago
why not compromise its called agreement with the person you with its 50/50 when your in a relationship
moneyoverbirds 2 months ago
I love this video! Direct and to the point!
mgmco11 2 months ago
The real question is what does fucking work!!!??? Most of the time, girls want it all their own way, unless im paying for it :)
SOCRATES012 3 months ago
When one doesn't compromise, EVER....it kills.
Spadadiforza 5 months ago 2
This is great. No compromise. Communicate. Don't compete. Just respect that each person has their own way of going about achieving / doing something. Complain : focusing on what doesn't work rather than talking about what could work. That's powerful.
I am very competitive and very driven.
Olivatar 5 months ago
Compromise kills? the example you said has nothing to do with compromise. Compromise only exists when two equal things are made unbalanced. if i want a and you want b, we both cant have what we want, you compromise b so i can have a. you said if you want a car and i want security we both compromise what we want? this achieves nothing and defeats the purpose of the notion of compromising.
x69Crunchyx 8 months ago
@x69Crunchyx yes i see what youre saying. e.g i want a bj, she wants more money, i pay her for a bj, everybody wins!
SOCRATES012 3 months ago
Seems like he feels very strongly about this more than the other videos. Lol
Cosmictalk 8 months ago
YOOOO lMFAO ROFl he just said the main three components of the relationship im in with this do-do bird >.< icant wait to call em and tell em to watch this vid.
kandela543 11 months ago
See I'm the type that doesnot want to change anyone I get with. But some reason they always want to change me. And yes I can't stand a nagging woman, and often women don't know if they are nagging because it has become habitual. And what is there to be competive about. All negative energy should be charged to the game.
u2hubbard 1 year ago
Man this guy is dead on.
u2hubbard 1 year ago
you missed out control.
breatheforIove 1 year ago
@breatheforIove Of course. Also fear of cheating or being cheated on. And wanting someone to change who they are which is part of control.
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ROYCEPREWETTdf 1 year ago
This is great advice. I work on all this things with my clients. When we understand them the relationship can grow strong.
BouncingBackNow 1 year ago
This has been flagged as spam show
WTF? Are you kidding me?
smokiesmik 1 year ago
Pls forgive the duplicate
smokiesmik 1 year ago
WTF? Are you kidding me?
smokiesmik 1 year ago
What is you or the other person can't or won't? ;(
Does that mean to give up and one person has to leave?
Just putting it out there because I know some are thinking it. The things you just pointed out are so "Spot On" You are brilliant btw. Where did you come up with you principles? Is it something you learned? or did you just come up with it through experiences as well as combined principles in Relationship counseling? I will subscribe and try to learn more. Thanks for these videos.
parrishgrady 2 years ago
:) Indeed
odiliacarmen 2 years ago
your three things sound like one type of merriage that ends up in divorce. All three go together.
jetta69 3 years ago
I agree, that is certainly the road to hell.
bwhouare 3 years ago