Quarter-Life: Halfway to Destruction

[Dianacat777]

This is a work of art. I can't describe the sense of relief I felt when Jimm's head was cut and then it turned out he was a-ok. And the unspeakable tragedy of the end, where Jimm was blown to smitheroons... I had to go into the bathroom and cry; I felt the bitter loss right alongside Gordon Freemant, where he faced the gripping decision to leave his dear friend in death, or risk failing to succeeded at winning teh mission.

Bravo, mister Chimaera, bravo!

[armorfid]

The nose is a very important anatomical part involved in the creative process of storywriting.

[SonOfLan]

NO NOT JIM! D:

[superjchamma]

@KampferXeon GO FUCKING BURN IN HELL YOU PIECE OF SHIT! I HOPE YOU GET TO SEE YOUR PARENTS DIE IN THE MOST PAINFUL WAY YOU FUCKTARD!

[Dungeon287]

@superjchamma You seem upset.

[superjchamma]

@Dungeon287 ME!? UPSET?!

HAHAHAHeeheheeeehHAHHAHHAHEHhe­eheHAheahHEAhhAEHAaaah!

No, I'm pissed.

[Dungeon287]

@superjchamma I honestly don't know why you're pissed over something small like that.

[superjchamma]

@Dungeon287 How's your day. Mine was quite amazing!

[HedgehogGamers]

JUTS THEN a hedcrab went on jimms head

[CatChimeraCrystal64]

Holy crap I live in Dallas!

[joelyish]

JIMMY NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

[kmoodyblues]

Does anyone truly know "what it means?"

[Cannon590A]

<3

[brandon77091]

TQBF - Coward Killing Time [VULPvibe Records] sent me here XD!!!!!!!!

[CrimpyCracker]

Notso fast mister gordon. I am being your housewifekeeper and your place is get eaten by monsters. ou must save them from killing house.

But house is were I live out my full life consequences! We must get to save house or I will live in box for rest of box.

Just then, housewifekeeper dead of natural causeses and Gordon Freepman send email to his brother John Freeman and axed him for help or it willabe dead

To be continued?

[UltimateSaiyan12]

i deceid gordun fremant surveiv and Dallas weith freiend is safed!and i piessd miself wehn i wathced dis!

[Dannster7]

Every time I've listened to this the atuhor's nose! bit has literally made me laugh out loud

[AnonJuggerbot]

i cryd wen jim was blewed up. This dotry did sad me. Excelenct wrok ptaer!. yuor boks aer aylwas suol movig of my sol.

[superjchamma]

@TNDGAlcatraz Fuck the world. FUCKIT.

[KampferXeon]

@superjchamma Everything's better with ponies!

[superjchamma]

I am ashamed of the first video response.

[TNDGAlcatraz]

@superjchamma i feel your pain.

[soggycloth]

@superjchamma Nothing is sacred anymore

[TheBarns95]

Wouldnt you all feel so cruel if this guy had dsylexia

[eldelbarrio1]

atuhor's nose!



[XxD1EAN0TH3RD4YxX]

Such moaving sotry! I cryd at part were jim dyed! Maek moor!

[MrLaxdude89]

SO going on my school summer reading list!

[oopla20]

smitheroons...

[Muffins117]

repercussions of evil>this

[Dianacat777]

Quite possibly the best thing ever.

It changed my life. Such a gripping tale of the persistence of brotherhood and duty.

[jackman464]

whats the name of the song thats starts in chapter 3

[Goldenglimmer]

*** lik dis if u cry evertim ***

[rickraptor707]

@Goldenglimmer I'm pretty sure the letter U never cries out "Evertim!" and how are people supposed to lick your comment?

[Goldenglimmer]

@rickraptor707

The comment is a pun on pre-pubescent teenage girls posting stupid, fictional stories on their facebook profile, finishing with a statement usually requesting some form of recognition (see original comment). Suffice to say, I'm not illiterate.

[rickraptor707]

@Goldenglimmer oh...okay sorry then

[SandPaperbatVG]

This is so awesome that I got distratinated and then got blowed to smitheroons

[CrimpyCracker]

so why did you tape Gordon Freeman's face over... Gordon Freeman's face?

[monkyman26O]

@CrimpyCracker Ironic purposes

[Tokatt]

this is the best thing in the whole fukin world

[bagleman64]

376 people were blown to smitheroons

[sqweebs2]

Isotopes and Half-Lifes, Jesus Christ what I've been learning in Science class actually APPLIES to something on here!

[Tubanerd007]

I used to do science too, then I took that isotop to the knee.

[thechampion5330]

Where is the 2nd part?

[jkh2004]

All the science is wrong.

My brain hurts now.

Wonderful.

[MrLaxdude89]

what about 1/8th life

[bestdudeever765]

@MrLaxdude89 and 1/16 and 1/32 and 1/64.. holy crap :O

[SimplyAComment]

Now that's thinking with Portals!

[jimmyhach2001]

fuuny part is 1:36

[Btimesthreee]

Wow, you definitely failed the test. You can't even spell writing correctly. You suck!

[IViewVideos1]

@Btimesthreee That's the joke.

[wolfman3457]

i used this story for a creative righting test

[HEADSH0Tforthewin]

After watching videos like this, I find mself tlak like this

[DrPepper42yes]

0:55 This would explain why Gordon is a theoretical physicist instead of a nuclear physicist.

[pwnurnoobazz]

I love how all the related videos are of booty shaking camwhores

[ninjawork111]

Okay, but you wouldn't even need to push the building into the orange portal- you could put it underneath, and how can you put a portal on the sky?

[TheNemesis274]

@ninjawork111 We don't take too kindly to your logical kind around these parts.

[UntitledHome]

I hope this will be rediscovered after the fall of society and worshipped as some sort of holy script.

[sporecreatorperson]

2:26

I thought Yogscast was on.

[girlslikegames]

I was drinking tea when I decided to watch this. I thought I could handle it. The tea I just spent ten minutes cleaning off my screen and out of my keyboard says otherwise. Worth it.

[blackandwhitepro34]

An Isotope is when an Element On the Periodic table's Atom is followed by one or more neutrons Causing it to make a new version of that element. For Example One of Hydrogen's isotopes is Deuterium or Tritium.

[IanTweekDP]

1:13 I like how Barney is there for no apparent reason.

[GravoForce12958]

Uncycylopedia which is online encyclipedia like wikiped LOL

[thirtysilver]

Jimm.

[ThatGunslinger]

"Ew must escapes out of here FASTLY but Jimm was already blowed to smitheroons." XD

[RandomMajin]

How, the FUCK, does this get so many damn thumbs up? Not that I don't hate it, but seriously, this thing is... bad

[TheKoopakirby]

@RandomMajin It's supposed to be bad.

[yankeeman234]

@RandomMajin It's bad on purpose.

[MrGmodlol61]

@RandomMajin The whole point was to make it "Bad"

Just look at half-life full life consequences.

Its so good-its-bad-its-good.

[Jouninbaka]

@RandomMajin It's so bad that it's funny.

[nextgentacos123]

@RandomMajin the misspellings were intentional. read the original story.

[SpaghettiCen145]

"DISTRACTION IS IMMINENT!!!"

[TentaclesIsSad]

Win.

[linkdude240]

I like how everything has a quarter life... IRL anyways...

[meteorr77]

I am amused!

[totallyINFAMOUS]

How the fuck is Gordon able to talk?!

[TheShenko]

I got to the point where it said "distraction is imminent" and realized I was watching the video rather than doing homework

[SSFhighcommandJOHN]

Make ANOTHER@!!!!1123w2q1111!!!

[frongjumping]

I should really be studying in my was studying laboratoried right now, but I don't feel like it. Too lazy.

[gmodfan11]

COW-ORKER JIM

[TheSkelwor]

@NoobSeanGamer OH NO WHERE DID SPAMMER COME FROM

[rickraptor707]

@NoobSeanGamer well you're not gonna get any views by posting advertisements for your channel in the comments. all that will do is get you the title of spammer.

[Pintassilgo12]

1:37 Best high five ever.

[randomers31]

302 people were blowed to smitheroons

[JosephBradford]

"Ew must escape out of here fastly"

This is just like one of my Shakespearean plays.

[Belecleo]

Holy shit, this was already funny but the captions are overkill

Chapter one: what it means-> tractor wild mandz

[TheBigOne9485]

R.I.P jimm i dont know his last name but whatever he will be truly missed *cough* not *cough*

[weege555]

This is what Stephanie Mayer's books look like before she gives them to the publisher.

[ZRFtheNextGen]

DJY, YOU ROCK!

[TammoKorsai]

If you think about it logically, (not literally, as logic is not applicable here) this can be interpeted as a prequel to Full Life Consequences, as it leaves us on a cliff hanger of Gordon Freeman versus the Final Boss.... hence he sends a an email to John Freeman....

[lshaw17]

Observe with Hasty

[Mrarmageddon8]

A literary masterpiece!

[TheDukeOfDance]

Whait oh no where id isotop?

[hallabalooza]

Based on actual events.

[caisnore]

I'm drunk and this is a little too much for me to handle right now lol

[shelbyeatskidss]

Why don't we take the enemy headquarters, and PUSH IT somewhere else!

[88deathguy]

I've memorized the whole thin :)

[GuyInLove7]

1:55 is the funniest face because he looks like a super midget

[nelandquinten]

It's nearly impossible to classify that "Quarter Life" is anything less than a masterpiece. The emotional climatic twist with the stoled isotope and Jim being blown to smitheroons left nearly everyone in the theater in tears, myself included.

Mark my words, "Quarter Life" will soon become a timeless visionary classic for decades. Never before had a film had such a powerful impact on me. It truly has changed the way I look at the world.

[thefowles1]

@nelandquinten I like how you still said "stoled".

[TheAndyman1000]

@nelandquinten Wasn't even nominated for a single Oscar. The Academy awards really snubbed Djy1991.

[mysterykcad]

@nelandquinten It's the greatest masterpiece since Full Life Consequences.

[sweatynready18]

Sargefan sent me here :)

[Grimmjow161]

Lol Transcribe Audio.

CHAPTER ONE

THE ENDS

[OtherGuy931]

Gordon Freechman/Freemant/Freeman is Patrick Star now? "I'll just take the enemy base, and push it somewhere else!"

[OtherGuy931]

So Father Grigori was the bad guy from the games? That explains everything...

[ThatShowAbout]

Onec ipon a tim gotden freechman was handlign an radioctiv isatrope...

[gatebi1]

MAI AISOTOWP!

[TheBrianJ]

SPY'S SAPPIN' MAH ISOTOP

[1p2pp3ppp]

I want a Crowbarb!

[FJK46]

No matter how many of these sequels I see, no one is narrated better than Full Life Consequences

[smashmeta18]

@FJK46 ah, but this is the original.

[luistigerfox]

@FJK46 this is completely unrelated, different author.

[SuperPooFighter]

:55 to 1:05 is fucking hilarious

[SuperPooFighter]

we must observe with hasty

[m0thie]

Thanks to this video, whenever I'm ironic about something that was intended to be funny but was just plain retarded, I say "HA HA! I laughed."

And the HA HA! sure is different from that The Simpson's Nelson kid, one.

[TheDestroyer2311]

1. Turn on Transcribe audio

2. Watch this video

3. ?????

4. PROFIT!!!

[m0thie]

@TheDestroyer2311 Watching this with Transcribe Audio on is like doing heroin - on crack.

[Jussii117]

Why don't you do these kind of videos anymore? :(

[lolita19711]

nice very funny

[smashmeta18]

Mega Man was shooting in his was shooting Dr. Wily's castled...

[kyuubidrew]

What the fuck did I just watch?

[VohnExel]

There's something about the way he says "Autuors Nose" that just cracks me up every time :D

[salculd]

I love the way he says "meltdown" at 1:45.

[vorteksio2]

Yep now am sure of it... just checked his fan-fiction profile. There is a lot of other trolls commenting on his stories, and encouraging him to do more. He even misspelled his own name for god's sake...

But you know what the sad fact is? there is lot of stories like this and they are actually meant to be serious.

[vorteksio2]

I can't believe that peter chimera wasn't aware of his shitty writing skills.....

He was just trolling.

[Jontsen12]

What exactly is icton?

[TheBlackOpticFTW]

2:26 Dude. Don't use the Yogscast music, Simon will eat your jaffas.

[TheNemesis274]

@TheBlackOpticFTW Where did the Yogscast get their music from? I always thought they got it from Spongebob Squarepants OSTs. :P

[sonicdsfan1]

@TheNemesis274 It's actually Ren and Stimpy. Spongebob uses the ren and stimpy music in spongebob

[TheBlackOpticFTW]

falconer02's version is better.

[DutchManticore]

But Jimm was already blown to smitheroons XD

[hopthefencetofreedom]

Watch where you swings at meJUST KIDDING THANKS!

[rlawndus4801]

ㅋㅋㅋ 개막장이네

[Armedslipknot]

GRAMMAR ARE GOOD



[MacGyverinSpace]

My memory might be failing me, but for 3 years I have been wondering if I am where come.

Did I edit uncycylopedia in 2007? I almost think I did. Its just that Quarter Life: Halfway to Destruction is my kind of lame witty pun...and I started playing Half Life around then..

[MiakaCrimson]

MAKE THE NEXT PART PLEASE!!!!!!!

[cloudycolacorp]

lol, penis hi five

[valiantvyse]

See, it's funny because all elements have quarter-lives anyway. The half of a half-life :P

[robokill387]

@valiantvyse I don't think that's how half-lifes work.

[valiantvyse]

@robokill387 It is, it's just an arbitrary measurement of how long it takes for a quarter of certain mass of a certain radioactive element to decay to its daughter isotope / element!

[somedamnfangirl]

"JUTS THEN"

...I can't breath.

[superwhoper]

Is it hard to talk like that lol

[TheLBPfan77]

THIS IS THE WORST FUCK THING IVE EVER SEEN IN MY HOLE INTIARE LIFE.

[buffedanimal359]

@TheLBPfan77 Fail. Hahaha!

[TheGrantFreak]

Smitheroons

[myshirtgoeswtf]

Fuck, the engineer has some of the most disturbing faces ever! XD

[meteorr77]

@myshirtgoeswtf but everyone like penis cupcake face on a soldier

[konlad1990]

Come on want next episode...

[weege555]

My favourite orkers are cow orkers.

[battlefieldguy2000]

Gordon Freeman strangely fails physics forever.

[Dudeawesome1000]

Did anyone else wonder why Gordon Freemant had a claymore sword just laying around?

[sporg12]

the world turns into a stick of butter

[Computersoup]

The typos makes it even more funnier.

[MoiderahOfVideos]

This is true art.

[hoodenmcburg]

A review by Hoodenmcburg:

QUARTERM LIFED: HOLFWAY TO DESTRUBCTION IS A THILLING TALE. IT IS OF THE STORY OF GU-HORDAN FREECHMAN WHO STUDYIGN IN WAS STUDIED LABORATORIED. THE DEEP CHARAPCTERS RELATIONSHIP WITH JIM IS TRULY

TOUCHING, AND THE PLOT LEADS UP TO THE TOP OF THE SKY IN NO TIME!!!!!!!! THE AMTAGONIS IS A BELIEVEDBLE FOE THAT THE VIEWER, YOU, CAN TRULY HATE. I THINK EVERYONE SHOULD WATCH THIS VIDEO, BUT IT WAS TOO LATE, THE VIDEO WAS A HEADCRAB ZOMBIE!!!!!!!!!!

[Hotshot2414]

PS: WATCH WHERE YOU SWINGS AT ME! Just kidding :D = ultimate prank

[Hotshot2414]

Has anyone watched Full Life Consequences? The episode where John meets his son? Cud someone gimme a name?

[ChuggaFan01]

I NEED MY CROWBARB!

[deekante]

Thumbs up if you immediately opened a new tab and googled "Wikiped"

[damonperkins1]

@Djy1991 i love u

[07ude]

i like smitheroons

[LtFalconPawnch]

366 people were blown to smitheroons

[GeckosUnlimited]

It's so stupid you have to like it.

[Mangaman1100]

wtf happened to the old narrator from half life full life consequences... the first video... that was the best narrator

[Xineombine]

This is trippy

[DeltaPBMKM]

366 people know where come

[dereisebar]

did he drop out at the 3rd grade or something

[theMYMARIO]

@dereisebar no its supposed to be like that cuz its funnier

[BioSlop]

Does anyone know what the name of the song is at the beggining of the video? 00:06

[Crystalbloxcorp]

@BioSlop I bet its from Ren and Stimpy, look around

[BioSlop]

@Crystalbloxcorp Found it, thanks :D Ren and Stimpy Big Show Theme.