How To Write Better Status Updates on Facebook

[waterdragon1908]

I have never updated my status, facebook is so stupid.. -_-

[jasonx0017]

Q: Where can I get a cheap, decent haircut?

A: I got one for free on facebook.

[alinka2111]

step 1 : don't right about your life !

'im eating nachos ! im taking a shit !'

WHO THE FUCK CARES ?

[Thepapeman]

at least 15,000 people update there status 5-10 times a day

[RazyBindy]

keep it clean ????

i said fucking pice of shit on fb

and i got 50 likes...

[alexpayanjr]

isnt that for twitter

[chasebarnette37]

how to be a homo

step 1:Go to (YOUR NAME).homo.com

step 2: Enjoy!

[xojackiexo123456789]

......The world is getting more stupid i swear. howcast is running out of ideas...

[AwesomeTeen100]

Step 1: don't type anything dumb

[xXKillaBoiXx]

i get pissed off at anyone who makes a post like these... idiots

[webusecom]

I hate it when these attention whores post shit every second that's almost as pathetic as asking for thumbs up, people with thumbs up are pussies

[Tony955555]

Suppose you were retard. And suppose you had a facebook account. But I repeat myself.

[PancakezLover99]

if you don't know what to write, just write "Like for a rate" and see how many people like it or something

[staystrongloveee]

please howcast make a video on how to either contact a facebook administrator or how to delete an old facebook account that you no longer have access to

[TeyonaRainbow]

drinking coke LOL <--- yeah...quality -_-

[Hrid777]

My phone calendar goes up to 2018.. so its okhay ha! 

[urtexx9]

Step 1: don't write about every thing you do :/

[GrownUpWithHiphop]

Really? They really update that thing? I mean, REALLY!? Somebody help, facebook just got mad at me!

[paramoreROXlol]

I AM THE 1%. lolwut.

[hannahwantcookie]

or... you cold just use status shufffle!

[ChachiSaysRawr]

Why did I even click this? The only good part was that my lame name was in it xD Janie >_>

[TheUbisoftGamer]

Who automatically types a comment that's so huge it's done in 2 seconds

[HeyItsMeNora]

step one: get the app "status shuffle"

step two: pick a status

Your done

[phil211293]

also, there are plenty of stalkers/people with no life in this video

[phil211293]

my stomach deeply regrets that muffin? you could of just said, i wish i didn't have that muffin... alls you did there was make yourself sound smart

[sk8forlife782]

I HAVE DONE A TERRIBLE THING FORGIVE ME FOR MY FOODCRIMES

[rock4eva231]

my status regularly:im bored....

[foxking39]

i needed this XD

[Shemabill]

You will need:

Internet Access

Facebook account

1) SAY something.

Did u know: Apples grow on trees?

[GNRlova23]

Thumb's up if you searched for Damien Orlowe on facebook

[adseg2cf]

Starting statuses with: 'That awkward moment when...' generates more likes for some reason.

[makeuptoya]

Laaaame...

[MyLyricsVideosRock]

When Howcast mentions dumb stuff you'll need like internet:

Commenters: NO WAYYY! I DIDN'T NO THAT!

When Howcast doesn't mention dumb stuff like a fridge:

Commenters: So apparently you don't need a fridge to make jell-o!

:/ lol

[mariobros616]

this is such a fucking pointless guide I had had to post this. It's truthfully the only reason I clicked on this video.

[NiceIce19]

Man, I would unfriend him... Status updates every 5 seconds? WOW xD

[nikkoJS]

this is so dumb....

[hedrick12000]

i put porn as my status updates, no joke, must be why i only have 31 friends XD

[zaxgamez]

Well I'm not one of them 30 Million people. I update mine about three times a day! Haha...

[7forthewin7]

i'm thinking about switching my dry cleaners too...

[hotimot]

I would've deleted that guy looooong time ago, if he were my fb friend.

That dude make way too many updates o.O

HE TRIES TOO HARD LOL.

[BonJoviLoverLASHY]

pfft when I make a status with a question or refrence to what I'm doing it always ends up in a huge Facebook fight :'D

[AliensHateUs]

@BonJoviLoverLASHY Don't make it end in a fight, just start the fight premptively.

[buddingvideos]

thumbs up if you went right to facebook after this video

[TheEntitySeven]

im not one of those 30 million

[Deadkyd]

@TheEntitySeven WE ARE THE 1 PERCENT!!!! XD

[Beccapige]

you will need: a computer with internet access, without how should we be watching ?

[ch2113]

hahaha i dont have a facebook

[LoveAffleck]

WTF.?

[RickyHippo]

Yay now let's search up who Damien Orlowe is!!!

[Maonization]

Step 1: No one gives a shit about your status updates.

[KamileCamilla]

34 friends. No one sees my update anyways. They have like 200+ per friend... Forever alone :\\

[TheDragontamer1000]

a little over 7 billion people on the planet

about maybe 80 million have A facebook

30 million update their status once a day...WOAH!

[JaviPandu]

Girls: <3 = 1093 likes of 1154 friends

Guys: You dont know... (cool update) 3 likes of 154 friends

:foreveralone:

[TheJames1579]

"You will need a computer with internet access" I wonder how im watching this video then?

[MrNitrogenX]

I'm postin this on lame statuses.

[milktatious]

You will need:

internet access

Facebook account

No fucking really!?

[YourFavoriteFiend]

@milktatious These comments are so annoying. . .When they don't mention something, all the smart asses go, "So I don't need _______?" And when they do mention the obvious, the smart asses do what you do. . .

[milktatious]

@YourFavoriteFiend

lol yea i guess ur right. i got nothing to say about that...uhh..

well idk if it annoys you so much then just dont read it.

[aznmurderer]

@milktatious but imagine this.. if they didnt say it you guys will still comment "oh great you dont need a facebook account or computer"

[adamyoshi]

why am i watching this? I don't have a facebook.

[Noninsonla]

It's a shame most people are missing the third requirement.

[lizjonaslover76]

how to write better status updates on facebook

STEP 1: use your brain to think

did you know circles are round?

[mario1136]

@lizjonaslover76 ORLY? I thought circles were square :(

[phjabbawockidz]

filipinos update their status hundred time a day lol xD

[Crrazy4muziic]

...Anybody want a peanut??...WTF?!

[TheLavagreen]

wtf

[kaiqinAKAme]

U dont need friends?

[NevaSayNeva101]

I update my status 2 or more times a day. I'm normal.

[berryberry1213]

Oh how i miss the old fb

[waseem1173]

omg

[jon2000athan]

Damien Ortowe: Remember when FG hit the cring and found out that Jazzman got candlestuck?

Sayid Rahmeed:i don't get it.

[miley372000]

thumbs of if u read all the comments in this vid

[uhessler99]

who can comment that fast?!

[rondd12345]

Fuck keepin in clean

[tomas12319]

yes howcast we have computers with no internet while watching this video i am definetly not on the internet

[mugglesnatcher]

step 1 : have tumblr

step 2 : have followers

step 3 : write something funny

tip: make gifs. they are more interested in gifs

step 4 : ???

step 5 : PROFIT

[ryanroosterr]

@mugglesnatcher step one: stfu

step 2:got to fucking 4chan you fucking hipster

[mugglesnatcher]

@ryanroosterr not because you have tumblr, you're already a hipster. you MORON.

[sunspot82]

i stopped watching at "keep it clean"

[jovanysosa1]

Where can i buy this wit?

[SuperEbay123]

@jovanysosa1 Ur Ma

[JapaneseAmericanGirl]

Wow. They have this but not 'How to Wipe Your Ass'?

[lilbigbrow]

You will need a

Internet access

'Facebook account' no shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[KYLETRONX]

Like if u went to fb and searched "Damien Orlowe"

[cloetv12345]

Update there statue's once day ?

it's way more then once a day.

[punktheman]

step one, copy+paste a joke on the internet

[LivvyGrl]

Wow... need to send this to like... EVERYBODY!

[evenairlines]

Set 1. Lie

[OoOreosoO]

wow...... theey answer the update so fast -_-

[OmNommin]

So I guess I'm a no one cause I never update my status?

[elasticunderpants]

at the end "anybody want a peanut?"

[10haro1]

5 More days...

I'm thinking about chaining dry cleaners... -_- How fucking stupid. 

[fullofloveandstuff]

lol "jill went up the hill"

[cassi75474]

Step 1: think of something ORIGINAL

Step 2:Write it.

Step 3: UR DONE!

[TheChineseGirl1]

Get a life people

[ZiikJ]

Fucking tools

[payneterran3]

Internet Access well No $

Hit Sherlock

[Cinnamon5542]

i dont have an internet access!!!

Oh wait...

[BCete]

my friends should be watching this. And fuck that "5 more days" raid whats wrong or i dont give a fuck

[ARmadeem]

I waisted 1:31 of my life

[Simslover190]

It's strange how 50 years ago they be like whats status no facebook WAIT whats youtube :P

[geckohead135]

Wtf the say all this and on the video it recommends "The book i'm reading is sooo good." Seriously howcast?

[coliter]

It's me or this is fuckin sad?! Why would i write better status updates on facebook??!!

[aoifetigger]

Top comments are the same. AGAIN.

[mhlover25]

you will need a face book account

me: OH WOW REALLY?!

[ComedyindaUK]

Oh ffs!

[iantime02]

Lol , Ive got 200 Likes Of My 176 Friends

[TheZombiedemon95]

you will need a facebook account,

no shit really?

[Leackay]

After watching this video i saw he wrote "5 more days...'" and I was thinking I should write that because my birthday is in 5 more days... :D

[unusualcatperson]

"Your status updates go out to many people", not if you don't have 5,000 friends...

Also, no one likes vague, attention seeking status updates. Don't encourage them...

[incisiveCanine]

"Don't try too hard"

Chances are, if you're watching this for advice, you're already trying too hard

[Lockerzman48]

Is america this stupid?

[The2DumbPlumbers]

@Lockerzman48 unfortunately yes.

[EpicObama]

dude you got like the shittiest profile picture ever

[EpicObama]

The times, they are a changin

[Mrfgjgfhg]

or you could use a phone with facebook access =P

[withagunxxxx]

Lol did not even chuckle at your so claimed "lol" post.

[Itinkled]

pause at 0:54 " i dont get it" lmao

[ninjaninja246]

Those statuses sucked balls

[autumnpixiedust]

you know what? most of us hates vague status updates that craves for attention,so... NO

[jamiesalas55]

Don't post stupid shit oh my life sucks fuck my life -_-

[MyLyricsVideosRock]

How To Write Better Status Updates on Facebook:

You Will Need-Facebook

Step 1: Post a link for the HowCast video: How To Get High Naturally

Step 2: Have all of your friends think LOL

DID YOU KNOW? My friend must have watched this cause it she poted a update that says "5 more days..."

[RCTjunkie]

the 5 more days thing is thinking about switching dry cleaners.....

[uraijit]

Keep it clean? Fuck that noise!

[Punchinrocksintheeye]

you will need wit ... ahah!

[godlykilla4]

Is this video a joke? Please....

[BloodSuckinRetard]

learning how to write ur own status on facebook...now that's just sad..

[IDarkGFX]

@JustinBieber4Luv1 Your not gonna get thumbs up with that name. You filthy whore.

[vrindabandas]

i hate people who goe all "tbh LIKE"

[bublez411]

i got 20 likes from posting spider pigs and cake.

[madmanslullaby1]

if you hate me ..... comment a serious face= l:

If you think I'm nice ...... Like this

if you think im funny.... comment a :3

If you think I'll be a good friend ..... Comment on this

If u ever liked me ..... comment <3, I won't tell

[19629924]

i`ve use my cellphone to post updates on facebook.

[galysica1950]

thumbs up if you'r try to find Damien Orlowe on facebook ;)

[CabbageCupcakeGIrl]

at the end did anyone see the update "My dog has worms."

[90sfanforever]

@CabbageCupcakeGIrl Oh they should really get that checked out.

[eclairep]

I used to update my status everyday... you know... the first year I HAD facebook-- now I'm lucky if I post anything for a week-- and it's my homepage!

[sesselpiee]

damien is the name of the devil

[ZigZegTv]

I have 22,000 friends and and I like everything and post about 20 times a day with 3,000 pics.....I'ma beast

[RubberBandProduction]

@ZigZegTv no life* i think its spelt

[diversitey101]

i change my status 10 times a day lol

[jake7883]

0:13 if I never had a computer with internet access, how would I be watching this video right now?

[theycallmedumb]

jesus you post a lot of statuses. get off facebook

[benlimsumalee]

When he says, "5 more days..." two people asked what's up. He responded, "I'm thinking about switching dry cleaners...

[onearkgirl]

@ 1:22 it says "i think my dog has worms." Who in the world says that on Facebook???

[hornedfrogsfever00]

How to wright better statuses: dont wright them every 2 seconds

[Minariability]

I'm on facebook writing lames statues update but I don't have an internet access....Seriously Howcast is so fucking dumb.

[thefattyone3]

Lol, course you need a Facebook account. You cant do better facebook updates on Myspace



[mlmiraglia99]

GAY

[nicuu11]

WTF?



[xxjustinx34xx]

Meh

Just write

"In the shower"

[cRaZyGrApEify]

Okay. It looks like this guy is just flooding everyone's news feed.

[Tangogirl0113]

IM THINKING ABOUT SWITCHING DRY CLEANERS. ARE U SERIOUS?? -.-

[9tdicrazy]

You will need: internet access.

How am i watching this video?

[osahill127]

@9tdicrazy in ur mind. 0.o

[9tdicrazy]

@osahill127 lol.

[krazynoodle34]

@9tdicrazy no, some people are watching this in their microwave!

[9tdicrazy]

@krazynoodle34 lol

[LCoMagiikZ]

I LOL'D SO HARD WHEN IT SAID "I'm thinking about changing dry cleaners"

[5star104]

hey would u like to tell me how to writ stylish or special character in facebook account?

[snapplelemongirl]

man.... i dont have internet access.... :P

[CrazyChicVids]

5 more day...

Til i switch dry cleaners. :D

[proudlatina1510]

How many people logged on facebook and went looking for this Damian Orlowe character after watching this video?

[TheHorrorchicken]

You will need:

Internet Access

Well, if we're watching this video I think it's pretty obvious that we have internet access.

[Elojoschulos]

I dislike when ppl update there status on facebook each hour!! It's like yelling in public everybody hears you but nobody gives a fuck.

[MrDiEsEL619]

oh good :)

[Kariio18xX]

"I think my dog has worms." Yeah, everyone I know posts a facebook status about their worm infested dogs. And from REAL facebook expirience it sort of pisses everyone off when you post dumbass "What I'm doing" statuses. Maybe you should of had a facebook longer than 5 minutes before you acted all smart and tried to make a video, because you're stupid.

[ChanteiMcMaster]

you are trying to hard just by watching this video

[jilli1223]

WTF

[newgrounder2]

If you want a fucks load of "me too" or something like that comments on fb just type in "Im bored."

[snoopdiego9]

My Internet access doesn't have a computer

[TheLyingMustache]

You need wit? There goes half of the US.

[Swizzilous]

The guy in the video updates his status every 10 seconds...I hate people like that. -.-

[SeanCopyright]

my cumputer doesn't have internet accses

[Ilovecakesandmusic]

@mrlifeofparty LOL no thumbs up

[giglightable]

1. Go to Facebook

2. Post "Better Status Updates" on your Wall

3. Done

[ShannieLovesZeeEarth]

...are you serious?? FUCK NO.

[Samilovesfire]

Sorry, I didn't have a computer with internet acces /:<