Mikey BB9 UK Stand Up Routine

[Gerrard8Torres9YNWA]

Go on Mikey do it for Scotland Mikey Mikey Mikey

[terryblueeyes]

ha darnell fan i see. or rex!! see daily star todat 11/9/08 another load of crap rex with stepth in a hotel room it was nicolE! what a pair of CUNTS do anything to make money. FUCKING HATE THE PAIR OF THEM. OH MIKEY GET ON TV LETS HEAR SOME MORE OF YOUR JOKES NOT FUNNY I KNOW! BUT YOUR ONE LINERS ARE. AND JUST TO GET AT THIS (PANGBORNECOLLEGE44 OH YES DARNEL WAS RUBBISH TO HOPE YOU SPENT LOADS ON PHONE CALLS MUPPET

[Acidjazzness]

Hahahahahhaah !

You need to Relax more..in all your comments you come across as Totally,WIRED/DERANGED.

[aliks7]

dirty fuck

[hibsuk]

Fuk u's mikey should hav 1 the rest were borin cunts bb9 was shite

[deadeadmarching]

He lost. Lol.

[FreshlyBakedCookies]

This is the cut version isn't it?

[Grace11295]

hate

him

[LMFAO69874]

im so glad he didn't win and if he did it would have been becuase he's blind i hate it when they do that he was a boring old dick ever ! the only reason he even got on is becuase some hippis would complain that there isn't some one of every race and disabiliy on the planet in there, rex clearly should have won :) oh and rachel bums sheep (she's welsh)

[fr3ddi30]

im so glad this cunt didn't win.

[bobdung]

Mikey is a fcuking legend. That bint should never have won.

"...Skoosh cream in her fannny..."

[Queenweezy1]

hahahahah this 2 funny

[stuv1]

I thought it was brave for an amateur and it was hilarious.

[DAN3XTBiiGFiiNG]

sara to win

[TommyReily]

Don't know why Jen tried to look so innocent, she looks like she's had a few cocks in her time.

[Pandy79]

vote Mikey to win 09016161610

[stusouthredbourn]

to people branding this 'disgusting' lighten the f*ck up!

[stusouthredbourn]

Hilarious, Mikey to win

09016 16 16 10

[circuitfacee]

Jens face is priceless.

[fr3ddi30]

he's not even funny.

he's just a prick

[pgr2592]

Fuck you fuckballs.

[oigivup]

mikey to win, the fakes(rachel and kat) dont deserve to even be there

[dixie2222]

omg. the worst moment of my life

[sophabgurl]

definitely one of the funniest bb moments, lmao at luke laughing wickedly, rachel covering her mouth in horror, dale clapping nervously, dennis laughing wickedly as well

[slewer777]

Mikey is top notch. The only guy in there with any kind of BALLS.

Mikey or Sara to win it now.

[olddonno1]

Im seriously worried for our nation, can

nobody see through this guy? he's discusting

but everybody scared to vote out the blind

guy! F*** in my world i take ppl for who

they are not wat others tell me they are? Id

have nominated Mickey from the 2nd week!

[Finnn]

The only time i've ever had to change the channel from cringing so much

[BrickBardo05]

check out mario's expression...he's thinking "i could go places with this act for real"..skush and cream...lol

[irishrover18]

"i whip my willy over the side"..now thats funny,especially the reaction of the housemates

[samisspink]

Hahaha, funny! Mikey's brill!  xx

[bloodgoth345]

darnell you need the keep off that masturbation XD mikey i love you so much mate

[BrickBardo05]

u can't beat that..fuckin classic..tumblweed master..lol

[johnnygorgeous]

class act!

[boymetronome]

lolol. gwan mikey

[luluhoodoo]

precious...

[GunnerSlave]

the girls' faces tells it all really

[shiva1001]

CRINGE

[hazzadude22]

Lol this guy is sick! mikey to win!! i hate dennis but his reaction on 1:09 and 1:10 is funny!

[HoddleWaddleArdiles]

Brilliant!!!! This is TV gold. I love their reactions. Total Alan Partridge!

[ELITEMESSIAH]

HA HA FUCK1N CLASS ACT!!!!

[soamli]

AHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHHA

[ukprince9]

He might be blind but he's still Scottish so what do u expect?

[AlexDCl]

A real stand up guy.

[imaybemad]

LOL dear me, the clap from dale which he slowed right down wen he realised no1 else found the cream and dog joke funny. mikey is such a prat

[tippyraven]

oh, well, his accent is hard to understand!!! (would of been funnier as gay dog lol)

[L4UR408]

lmao this was sick

[kurtsquirt]

hahahaha

[tippyraven]

HAHAHAHA WHAT THE FUCK???

'i squish some cream in her fanny and get my gay dog to lick it off'

pmsl

[jafahia]

" guide dog " you know, blind persons guide dog?

Gay dog, pmsl

[ayresy14]

ha wat a prick

[meanz19]

That was horribly awkward. Still at least he can't see the mortified looks on some of the housemates faces. Can't believe he is telling a joke as all he usually does is moan about everyone and everything.

[melego]

Why is Jen always so sour?

[makinz86]

1.07 i fucking love it. also just because his blind he shiuldnt get special treatment

[Ajs2512]

Mikey is so funny MIKEY TO WIN!

[kyleDAgreat]

that is cringe-worthy!

[Senken2]

what i want to know is why mikey hasnt been punished or even been spoken to because he's said the "N" word twice now and im personally getting offended now and its rediculouse how they kicked someone of last year for saying it by accident and they take no notice of mikey saying it twice.

[oigivup]

has he?

[Senken2]

Well yes.

[ddaawnn55]

BB8 Emily was thrown out for using the "n" just once and yet Mikey used the "n" word more than once and was not thrown out?

[KerryPanda]

Mikey's a racist twat. I bet BB won't remove him, but he called Darnell the "N" word twice tonight.

[oigivup]

darnells not black u twat

[KerryPanda]

Actually Darnell is black, but I was wrong to post that comment, I didn't have all the facts. Lesson learnt!

[oigivup]

really? what was sylvia then? green?

[KerryPanda]

huh? sylvia? what happenend with her?

[KerryPanda]

please ignore this comment, I got it wrong.

[xone464]

Mikey to win lol!!

[aimylou08]

Thats sick, its not even THAT funny. Yeah its fun now and then to joke about rude stuff but that was sickening, not funny. Eww get Michael out

[toiletseatbreaker]

haha that was hirarious!

[pinkandgirly1992]

what does he say because i can't understand him which i know sound weird,but i can't!

[cobzbabes]

this isnt even funny

i hate mickey hes a fucking freak

he actually makes me feel sick :S

[topanga31]

Which girl laughs and says "you said it Mikey!" at the end!? Lol

[sweetandsuga122]

my mouth was open that was so rudde

it wasnt even that hilarious but lukes face well what can i say?

[xmaketeanotwarx]

I was so shocked.

Scarily hilarious x

[ninaian]

Could't believe it. On Virgin replay they cut it!!!

[leadsom]

R3SPAWNS - "dirty blind c**t"... is the irony lost on you that your post in much worse and more offensive which makes you a lot worse than you perceive him to be? I hope someone stabs you in the head on the way home.

[R3SPAWNS]

Cringy shitty jokes just cos hes blind dont feel sorry for the mug.

Hope he falls in the swimming pool the dirty blind cunt.

[rozwell37]

Fail

[THEJohn187]

I cried laughing.

[HotCheex]

Rex's face @ 1.00 is a picture lol

[sweetandsuga122]

i know but the funniest thing is that he cant see there reactions so he thinks its ok

[rwtig]

its hardly sick. the jokes weren't funny at all but the awkward silence that followed them was classic.

[farhaanfaruk]

tha gayest person eva

he shud b removed jus chats shit all day and fuks up every1s mood

[G769207]

the greatest big brother moment ever

funny as fuck there reactions to him

[moesbarr]

pmsl....gets his blind dog to lick it off...classy

[catral2007]

soz buh he says gay dog dunt he??

[jimmyretard666]

guide dog

[GLADRIALA]

nah GUIDE dog lool

[leadsom]

rollandndsarahere (10 hours ago) - much more disturbing and wrong than Mikey's stand up is your post. It's barely legible and full of swearing itself. Can you not speak English? It's absolute gibberish.

[sadiqs]

what strange sense of humour

[LeviiiROFLZ]

tbh, the most un-funny stand up routine i've ever witnessed.

and i own jimmy carr's live stand up dvd.

[krisjohnsutcliffe]

How can anyone say that this is sick! Get a fuckin sense of humour. I was rolling on the floor laughin when I heard this. Class, on ya go Mikey. Glad u can't read what these daft cunts are writing on ere. lol

[krisjohnsutcliffe]

How can anyone say that this is sick! Get a fuckin sense of humour. I was rolling on the floor laughin when I heard this. Class, on ya go Mikey. Glad u can't read what these daft cunts are writing on ere. lol

[LordWedgewood]

hahaha funny stuff. Well you remember what Johnathon Ross said about Daz Sampson: "Everything about it seemed so wrong that somehow it just seemed right". This vid is a prime example of that lol.

[rollandndsarahere]

omg im fucking furious that ppl r findin dis funny its fuckin sick nd he is ttly GROSS get him OUT OUT OUT !!! if he wer ttly sighted it wld b sick and im orry ed but u're sista has no respect 4 herself

[leadsom]

That is hiiiiiilarious.

[lil0west]

the guy is sik

[J0n0]

wen this first happened i was almost crying with laughter

[bluetimmy24]

i actually cringed at that :|

[samsmyth01]

BB is a game, if you've had the chance to win 100k then you would understand why some of the people on the show act the way they do wether it works or not.

As for Mikey i could tell he was a creep from the moment he walked in... but this was good tv i must admit. Its was the housemates faces that made me laugh not his crappy act.

[ed201295]

i didn't understand that video.my sister said it was hilarious though.

[sherriffflood]

Im not buying the excuse that because hes blind he can say shit like that.I never heard stevie wonder talking about slapping his willy round toilet seats.

[MRsneakyfeet]

anybody else fancy a cream slice now!?

[ed201295]

no i don't think anyone does.

nice of you to offer though.

his act was sooo crap! and for those of ou who think i am rude i wasn't swearing so it doesn't matter.

[MRsneakyfeet]

i'll save my cream slices 4 mikey's guide dog then!

[hiroshimarap]

Classic!!! love it!!! Its so funny. could watch it over and over again.

[strawberrysubmarine]

The funniest bit of BB9 so far. The cringing was priceless...

[TheJay32]

When i pee i WHAP MY WILLY OVER THE SIDE. ohhhh i love it wt a quality guy he rules n should win bb9

[sugarlove300]

CRINGECRINGECRINGECRINGE

[TdA7freestyle]

omg lol. they didn't show this much on tv did they?! he is really creepy - i know what 'onafriday6' is saying, i take your point mate, but it is still a bit weird...

[onafriday6]

for someone who has lived most of thier life without seeing a thing is bound to have different interpretations of life, give him credit for having the guts to do a stand up routine. I hope Big Brother viewers (including me) understand how difficult it is to be blind and that he isn't creepy his just trying to live is life to the fullest without the gift of sight. We can all imagine what it's like not to see but this is different to living without it your whole life.

[WhiteBlackRoses]

Err

[southsidehustla2]

AHAHAHA! Its funny to see how horrified the other housemates faces are, and how no one laughed at some parts, great! :D

[irishgal93]

his voice annoys da shit out of me!! he is such a creep!!...jen looks so uncomfortable!!

[sarahjoy88]

i carnt stand mikey's voice

[oigivup]

lol i was cracking up so much when i saw this on tv

[Canniman]

Just because he cant see doesnt excuse the fact that he is a total bell end!

[AbsinthSycoActiv]

God that was awkward as fook. The only bit they show on the catch up BB was him saying that blind people make the best lovers - not that other stuff. Eeehh makes ya blush lol

[TdA7freestyle]

yeh right mate. i can't remember where i watched it (4od? e4? c4+1?) but it was only him saying "blind people make the best lovers - and he can say thats true". i thought that was innocently awkward - but then i saw this and its cringeworthy and disgusting lol

[chris25wigan]

*stands up and applauses*

Bravo!:P rofl

[pulrh]

Mikey- the king of comedy!

[Samanderson91]

FUCKIN HELL poor guy make himself look like a top prick on TV. I used to respect der guy :) He will never be ready, remba i told ya ;D lol

x

[p4pWar]

i hate that luke, he does my head in now. He thinks hes too smart.. his little sueeky fucking voice

[AbsinthSycoActiv]

Same here - Luke is a two faced twat I think, used to like him but he defo has a game plan and loves bitching more than the girls.

[TdA7freestyle]

not that i like Luke (he's a fucking annoying twat) but wouldn't you have a game plan if there was £100,000 up for grabs?

[AbsinthSycoActiv]

True, I know what you mean. Sod it though Luke is still a twat. I wouldn't go into the BB house myself but I wouldn't play up for the cameras either. Then again all you'd see is me in that flipping ashtray smoking like a chimney LOL. Luke NOT to win :)

[p4pWar]

if your blind what else could ypu do as your act????

thats all mikey could do at the end of the day lol

fair play to him, rachel looked a bit scared, poor little welsh girl

[xcharlieisnicex]

Not really, He didnt have to be so gross, offensive and disturbing.

Being blind can't cover that.

He could have done anything, blind people are very capable.

I mean, he's on big brother for gods sake.

[rocknrolluk]

The guys a genius

great dig at them all and way over their heads!4

[msxmd]

mikey rules! his stand up is so terrible its funny, i was cryin with laughter when i watched this lol scoosh some cream in her fanny hahahahaha

[msradx]

Disgusting. Disrespectful. Offensive.

Being blind is no excuse for this.

[jablev]

fcukin brilliant!!! mikeys a legend - the rest need to stop taking themselves so seriously -

[MrCrapakaEliRoth]

If he's a stand up comedian then I'm a professional gynaecologist.

[Jordzibob9292]

He's disgusting. I dont care if he's blind, its not an excuse. All Mikey does is sit there and bitch, moan, and tell out of place over the top revolting jokes.

[bubuk1]

Poor sweet Rachel. I dont think she's heard anyhting like it in her life.

[bubuk1]

Actually once you watch this the second time (and actually make out what he said) the jokes make much more sense...

[sl1963]

Yeh right that rachel's a dirty bitch likes horse cock up her ass

[daza182]

hahahah, Rachel's face is hilarious

i didnt want to watch when this was on, couldnt bare it!

[Tilchybaaybe]

That made me feel really sick.

[kweale13]

omg lol!!!!! CRINGE ALERT!!!!! the look on their faces! :) and Dale!! lolz! pretty disgusting though...i thought he woz sweet and innocent ...that proved me wrong!!

[hemperfidelis]

Comedy gold.

[Andy4189]

I love Dale's awkward slow clap after the fanny joke.

haha

[danielreal2k]

Gervais and Merchant career is over, Mario and Mikey are funnier than anything they haev ever written. Mikey you're a fucking legend

[allianceofpain]

Hahahaha! the reactions to his jokes are class!

[wjm796]

haha what a legend

[jellybabyof91]

just because he is blind, there is no excuse for him to be that revolting

[johnmb25]

class mickey my son! Funny as hell! I heard that guide dog joke a couple years bk and found it funny then but when you told it I nearly died. Your a legend and the only reason people watch the show!

[drofmab22]

Mikey has gone from Hero to Zero.

[WIDTHASWELLASLENGTH]

The best part in that clip was the complete look of disgust and contempt on Jen's and rex's faces, priceless

[FlappyDraws]

awesome funny! well done mikey!

[babydavidelvis]

look at dale, he starts to clap, then realizes no one else is, pmsl

[balthamusx5]

doesn't he know, blind people aren't aloud to make rude jokes

[LyricalWax]

ermm, to be classified as a joke, they need to be funny. nothing to do with his blindness mate.

[balthamusx5]

q)knock knock

)who's there?

)Dr

)Dr Who?

)good guess

funny?

q)why did the chicken cross the road

a)to get to the other side

funny? No, but still jokes none the less.

[LyricalWax]

The first one was ok, and the second is actually rather bad but a joke nevertheless. Talking about creaming into someone's fanny then telling his guide dog to lick it off, is neither funny in a bad joke type of way, nor even an attempt at humour. And considering the circumstances and some of the audience, it was simply a bad idea, it just makes him sound like a creepy person with a sick interpretation of what's funny.

[balthamusx5]

The one to darnel was quite funny. I've heard much worse jokes than the dog one(what's pink and squeals?), but yeah I guess it does.  People overreact to it though, it's just a joke and an old one at that.

[Indecisive89]

EEEEEEEK .. CRINGE!!

[xbowie]

brilliant mikey,,the look on the girls faces...bb9 best moment so far