Lewis Black on Broadway 5 of 6

[eurozone69]

my gentle snowflakes

[telemarker93]

Today's national security color is "Jesus Christ!" please do not leave baggage unattended for any reason. Please report any unattended luggage or suspicious activity to law enforcement officers and/or TSA personnel. Thank you.

[theparadisesnare]

Scrubscrub, rinserinse!

[ezioauditore1122]

So, does anyone know where I can find a personal Ball Washer?!? llol

[frost0813]

I, Too, would like to own an umbrella stand made out of Martha Stewarts vagina...

[4buttonclaymore]

"There should be 3 levels of security; Jesus Christ, God Damnit, FUCK ME!"

[AdamSKHaj]

5 people were forced to sit next to someone, who's crocheting something that isn't there.

[AdamSKHaj]

I will repeat that.. My gentle snowflakes.. xDD

[mouxlas21]

5 people bought another car ...

[mokshalovely]

5 people aren't important enough to have clean nuts.

[Chocolatekisses93]

"SCRUB SCRUB, RINSE RINSE. SCRUB SCRUB, RINSE RINSE!!"

[randogg1133]

I wish he were my uncle. Because I am an important CEO and my nuts should be clean!

[jackthestunner]

i had to pause half way because i could not breath.

[RitzDaCracker1]

wow both top comments are the same shit. Good job on the voting people.....

[jmk8646]

the four people who disliked this are the greedy fuckers who stole money from their companies.

[RedJoker9000]

Here is what i don't get, the top two comments are almost identical to each other the one (258) with exactly 3x the amount of the second one(86) has four more words. Why is that?

[howzerqwerty]

3 people didn't know that Martha Stewart had a vagina

[GANJAxxTHExxCURE]

They bought art....they bought car after car after car....they bought 3, 4, and 5 homes....and they got a tax write off, and I would have a joke for that....

BUT IM NOT THAT FUCKIN FUNNY!!!

[MiserableOldFart]

Genius.

[mazdaman98]

Jesus Christ, Goddamit, Fuck Me lmao

[IMONFIRE21]

it should be made out of martha stewarts vagina!

[michael616joaquin]

What are they doing? Starting a space program? LMFAO..

[ThomsonCory]

Jesus Christ, god dammit, and fuck me! Epic I love this guy. I would seriously vote for him for president.

[trojangirl246]

3 people are not gentle snowflakes

[MrDarkHadou514]

lewis black is the best !

[TheNewt44]

I am from Iowa. Like crap that guy is getting my corn. 

[matvangogh]

HES A TRUE VISIONARY! Lewis noted that the color coding terror alert was stupid

because when they tell everyone the Color level, then they have to EXPLAIN what the color means.And its only been set to High or Elevated.

Well it looks like Homeland Security finally got the message, becuase they are going to change it soon!

[godview1]

Funny how the 2 replies with the most "Thumbs Up" are the same quotes from the video you've just seen 5 seconds ago. So its not enough for Lewis Black to say it and then actually remember it? No you need 2 people to remind you of the thing he just said. XD Americans...

[killeraddiction]

@godview1 I was gonna thumbs up your post for all of the Lewis Black fans to see until I saw your little condescending "Americans..." comment at the end. Self-righteous douche.

[baphometshorn]

@godview1 lol its like them needing 10commandments to remember the only 2 real laws. they dont believe we could come to those two without god and a bible.

[footballbud6]

Id have a joke for that BUT IM NOT THAT FUCKING FUNNY

[wwssst]

what did you guys buy? Another Car =))

[dlinture48]

OMG. i've seen him twice, in person. he is so funny, i was practically rolling on the floor.

[ROCKYFINKHOUSE]

Hello? Yes, Hi! Yeah I would like ALL the corn in Iowa. Thank you. No, I'm just having a ho-down! LOL!

[diez1987]

we should rise as one and slay the three fuck heads who gave the thumbs down.

[bjb32278]

scrubb scrub, rinse rinse, when i become CEO...i'm employing that idea into action...a.s.a.p!

[FALCONPUNCH007]

Modern day kids: Remove Martha Stewart, insert Lady Gaga.

[t5killer95]

I love the "rise up and slay them" part LOL

[AusGuerin]

"...And they bought a tax write-off."

"I WOULD HAVE A JOKE FOR THAT BUT IM NOT THAT FUCKIN FUNNY!"

[ilovetogofast88]

OMG, I thought he said BOWL washer

[BrianL1129]

Just a tip to everyone: Don't watch this if you have bad diarrhea. You might shit yourself.

[youtaughtmehowtolive]

I'm surprised they didn't rise as one and ..slay them

[petrosin3231]

"God damnit.....nothings gonna happen"

[vdgjolly]

i'm an important ceo and my nuts should be clean :D

[runnysmokey0304]

Homeland Security is a problem, because the man who runs it is Tom Ridge; and he is someone who has the leadership qualities of a *brbrbr* gerbil.

XDDD

[joaquimferreira789]

What did u guys buy? Another car? Ah Ah Ah Ah

[shichan]

Martha Stewart's vagina.

It will go with your decor.

[HerrStrenner]

Jesus Christ, these fuckers quote Lewis in every fucking comment.

[jrwill122090]

Because Well He Had To Buy Shit

[MrDylandatheMoose]

"I'd like all the corn in Iowa cause I'm havin' a hoedown!" lol

[adamsteakknight]

LET'S SEND THE MONKEY TO MARS DAD!!!! rofl

[mastahlee1248]

i hate it when those fat ladies in the audience do that screaming laugh

[Silverado84P]

the three people that dislike this are the CEOs of those companys

[xCheese426x]

I am an important CEO and my nuts should be clean!!!!! rofl

[Ryanofweird33]

Where does one obtain a "personal ball washer"? lol

[SounnyKitty]

@Ryanofweird33 I guess you just need to know where to look.

[vampires18]

Rise as one and slay them!

[MrKr33p3r]

BERNIE MADOFF WAT ABOUT THT GREEDY ASSHOLE

[norwegian68]

@MrKr33p3r This show was two years ago, before the Madoff scandal.

[junglistic420]

the department of homeland security announced this morning that the terror alert level has been raised to GOD DAMMIT! You heard it first on Fox News.

[RealDefentertainment]

Every man with an acceptable wealth needs a ball washer. I am 21 now and by 25 i can see myself having a very well trained 20 year old petite English ball washer!!

[Unmde]

8:45 lol will done

[Ninja6310]

I need to get myself a personal ball washer!

[117werewolves]

@Ninja6310 i know right?

[Se1ander]

Be creative with 416 million dollars.....

[TheFuke007]

"Lets send a monkey to Mars Dad".... ROFLMAO!!!

[hellbadger84]

@ 2,14, can somone please tell me who's head got chopped off by the french, i cant make it out

[LightningSorceress]

Marie Antoinette

[BeNyaMa1976]

The king and queen of France got their heads cut off during the revolution. The French are known for the Guillotine.

[xnayla]

lol maria antionette, she spent a lot of money and made france go broke

[roxlyn27]

@hellbadger84 mary antoinette.

[TheWordOfBod]

@hellbadger84 marie antoinette had her head cut off by a baying mob of digruntled french peasants during the french revolution...

[luxy009]

@TheWordOfBod

[centralkicksbutt]

if you notice he lips dont match the words the audio is a little off but still shit funny

[CarrotHead34]

What did YOU guys buy? ANOTHER CAR?!? AHAHAHAHAAHA!

[earlyAMbirds]

"I never knew why the French chopped off Marie Antoinette's head... Now I fuckin get it!"

sorry, but also

why did he take 400m from his company? "He had to buy shit!"

R.O.F.L

[bonzo1989]

whats ROFL, i seriously dont know. yes its a problem

[earlyAMbirds]

roll on the floor laughing lol

[jayfatha]

my gental snowflakes...

[scholarlylad85]

Dennis: "I'd like all the corn in Iowa.....because I'm having a HOEDOWN!!!!"

hahahahahaha ROFL

[ramzarugliabeoulve]

I love to have a 20+ girl to have as my personal ball washer ^^.

Nice one, Mr. Lewis Black!

[jbeatakabunit]

and have them sit there next to someone who is crochetting something, that isnt there

rofl

[AntonISAHOTT]

my three levels

Ohh Crap

Holy Shit

and

Jesus Christ

[MusicAnarchy]

Three levels of security.

JESUS CHRIST

GOD DAMMIT

FUCK ME!!

[earlyAMbirds]

@MusicAnarchy ROFL

[TheStephenhacking]

@MusicAnarchy fuck guys you ruined the joke when i got to it

[razordawn666]

@MusicAnarchy All three levels of security didn't like that part of the skit

[Ricaninbk]

why didnt the people of those companies raise as one to sly them ??

[MultiConsumer]

@Ricaninbk  To 'slay' them..

[dsr1022]

0:55 is the most true statement!!! Corp. America fuckin sucks!

[Sam666gelber]

This segment reminds me of American Psycho.

[capthavic]

what did you guys buy, another car? HAHAHAHAHA XD

[dmix09]

JESUS CHRIST

GODDAMN IT

FUCK ME!!!

[madman8852]

Wonder if those are his parents@ 3:47. When I saw him a few months ago he said they were still with us.

[MaxxTheSlash]

At 3:47, we see one guy, and he looks younger than Lewis Black...

[chikakanoe]

Yeah those are his parents.

[ACDCfreak50]

@chikakanoe Iono why they gave you a thumbs down. Those are his parents. They were also on camera during Red White and Screwed. They come to several of his shows.

[screamingdizbusters]

it goes outta sync because some pre-teen tries their hand at editing out some of the gaps of the visual to make it less than ten mins, but in stead of cutting the corresponding audio they just neuter the end

[gyloir]

Why does the audio go out of sync about half-way through?

[tickitytak]

i don't know, but it's fucking annoying. why the fuck don't people fix this kind of shit?

[Ricaninbk]

im surprise the people in the companies didnt slay them too

[Dreamerx47]

i came a long way....just to share a dream with you

[tuckerrrrrrrrrrrrrr]

"I will repeat that...my gentle snowflakes..."

[Nick7nick]

Favorite line: "I want all the corn in Iowa...cuz I'm having a hoedown!"

HA!

[AdventCK]

"they didnt raise together and slay them!" LOL

[AmyF1978]

☺☺☺☺ becasue i am an important CEO and my nuts should be clean. what did you guys buy another car jajajaja *and of course*

jesus christ, goddamnit, fuck me!!! LOL

[jenbanter]

I wonder if Martha is flattered that Lewis knows her body so well.

[Fubieman]

He's the greatest. The water bit is the best.

[Dreaddeath]

"Orange and Yellow, and whatever the fuck the others are"

[Hajdijeta]

"Personal... Ball-washer" LOL! He's TOO funny!

[LinkinGuitar]

I fcking love lewis black!! "FUCK ME!"