Chuck Norris Jokes

[biolograficus]

THe pixels run from Chuck Norris

[flashdesunamic]

Chuck Norris can listen this shitty song without complains....

[acrobat7788]

Hey guys i think i'm turning crazy, i need a doctor , i spend so mush time on Youtube that i hear "hey there Delilah" while watching a video of Chuck Norris.

[burly690]

@acrobat7788

hey, its what he does to me....

[devildriver666pit]

chuck norris can swim in lava and be cold

[burly690]

@devildriver666pit

thats a fuckin good one!!!

lmao!

[seanfloler]

Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow underneath his gun. Enough said.

[GuardingCross]

you're a fucking retard for playing this song dipshit.

[MrChamp51]

#10 is completely true. Take physics and you will learn that relative to Chuck, he is pushing earth down, which is true

[MsRedhood13]

i hate this song

[JoeBinkz]

Chuck Norris is so cool, he gets DOUBLE rollbacks at Walmart.

[smalllions]

Heres some more I made up:

Chuck Norris once floored a ghost with a roundhouse kick.

Chuck Norris watchen X-men and wondered where the superheros were.

Chuck Norris beat the Elite four using only a Magikarp.

Chuck Norris can name all 51 U.S states.

Chuck Norris got bitten by Dracula. Dracula turned ginger and died a day later.

Chuck Norris fired Donald Trump.

[LNGamlng]

@smalllions a better one would be "Chuck Norris once killed an ghost with a roundhouse kick."

[smalllions]

@LNGamlng LOL true. good one.

[thunderpeeweea]

Chuck Norris won american idol using only sign language.

[hallo1HOJT5]

When david bell intriduced the cell phone he had 3 unanswared calls from chuck norris

[smalllions]

Heres one I made up

Chuck Norris knew who Keyser Soze was, and he's never seen the film.

[burly690]

@smalllions

no.



[MarkFarren]

Chuck Norris doesn't masterbate he rapes his hand

[kozakhanda]

Chuck Norris refused the Godfathers offer

[Sandett]

1.UFOs are not curious about Earth. They come to earth for only one purpose - Chuck Norris.

2.Every time Chuck Norris jumps, the earth moves one mile closer to the sun.

3.The first law of physics is : Chuck Norris

4.Nothing can run faster than light speed except for...Chuck Norris

5.Whenever end of the world was going to happen, Chuck Norris stopped it. That's why all past prophecies failed.

[mookie9439]

Cottoncandy is just mad his boytoy didn't show up for their date

[xMW2xCLIPZx]

WHAT THE FUCK!

I DONT WANT HEY THERE DELILAH! YOU CUNT.

[fr3kal3sias]

@xMW2xCLIPZx i want chuck norrise

[cutepuppyface1000]

@TheCottonTop probaply you've never felt love for someone otherwise you'd understand the meaning of dat song

[barett44]

@TheNerdatron123 ummm.... im a chick, dumbass..... and ur a douchebag

[barett44]

@TheCottonTop oh, BTW i listen to mostly bands like evanescence and 30 seconds to mars and stuff. also, u obviously dont understand the song, read the lyrics dumbass

[barett44]

@TheCottonTop do you really need to post nasy comments like tht?? is it neccesary for your survival???i dont think so, so shut the hell up.and 'nigger' is an effencive term for many african americans

[TheCottonTop]

This song suck the turds right out of my ass. Can't blame the artist, he is just trying to make money. It's no different than a nigger getting a white girl to make a porn movie. Except porn you have to search for, this filth is rammed down our throats. Like Obama Care.

There should be a special YouTube for kids, girls and faggots.

[TheGaarafan01]

@TheCottonTop your a faggot and a dickhead! there should be a youtube for people like you!

[bwizzzzzlee]

@TheCottonTop please send me you address so i can rape you mother and film it :)

[GypsyBoyfb]

@bwizzzzzlee And play Hey Delilah In The Backround

[willuberpants]

Regular people pee their name into the snow, but Chuck Norris pees his name into hardened concrete.

[neonman1604]

they forgot that he can build a snowman out of rain...

[ThisGuy4357]

Chuck Norris makes this song manly.

[GameGuy280]

Campers sit around the campfire and tell ghost stories... ghosts sit around the capers and tell Chuck Norris jokes. God's name is God cuz Chuck Norris was already taken

[back4mylife]

whats the name of the song :)

[emperorskulls]

@back4mylife Hey There Delilah. I hate that song cause all radio stations were playing that song every god damn time I turn on the radio.

[back4mylife]

@emperorskulls LOL thank you ;)

[disastrous123]

shame theres no audio but this song is amazing , it calms me soo quicktly when im angry or upset :D

[ComingToBeatYourAss]

@MrJordanMurillo That is so true!

[blazerpat32]

Chuck Norris.

[AwesomeWreckz]

Chuck norris can slam a revolving door.



[TheRappingCity]

good song stupid video

[10FROZEN10]

Thumbs up for "Nothing" Just do it !

[squibeo]

@10FROZEN10 fag

[omgftwnoobs]

There not jokes there facts -.-

[wow2h85]

if chuck norris saw this he would get pissed and find the plain white T's and round house kick them.

[ComingToBeatYourAss]

@wow2h85 Well I just saw it, and you must be able to read minds, cause that's exactly what I'm going to do! :D

[leeknivek]

BUT TONIGHT GIRL YOU LOOK SO PRETTY YES YOU DO. kill yourself.

[kangooroo100]

what the fuck is up with the song. Think about it, would chuck norris approve of it?

[summer20105707]

I think its awesome that Chuck Norris has a great sense of humor. Truly the mark of a great man with real charachter. Somebody who I'd be happy to meet.

[ComingToBeatYourAss]

@summer20105707 Aww thank's! :D

[shdweclipse]

You fools! By putting this song in this video, they are actually saving our lives from an impending death! Everyone knows that when Chuck Norris tells a joke the world implodes, but when he tells jokes about himself it destroys the universe as well as parallel dimensions! Our inferior evolutionary stage compared to his will make us not capable of handling all of that power emitted.

[DistressedDamsel79]

Wow Chuck Norris has a really nice smile! Or is it just his mouth running away from him??

[unbekannt405]

For what is the fucking Song . I cant hear Chuck Norris =(

[TheAssassianLeader]

they are not jokes their FACTS!!!!!

[FxS353gp]

hey guyz a new book is going to be published in 2 weeks...its name is : How To Ruin A Video (by Jeffball5)

[bigjuiceyms101]

Chuck Norris Will Find You And Kill You For Putting This Gay Ass Song With His Video

[chico15lda]

Awesome song !!

[scrapicoco100]

i think it a good song its one of my fav

[BadassPandas]

Chuck Norris's Daughter lost her virginity but Chuck Norris got it back

Chuck Norris once went to the virgin islands and when he left they were just "the islands"

[nakas12ify]

you ruined a chuck norris video with this song. Good job faggot

[madshot101]

wonder how does chuck norris feel about having thses jokes about him

[overthehill91]

I dont understand what the song has to do with chick norris jokes....

[VloggerTan20]

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

[1812Luckyluke]

Q: Will Chuck Norris ever reach puberty?

A:He already reached it when he was 2

Q:What about Justin Bieber?

A:He doesn't even know what that is + no.

[chriscm96]

Chuck Norris going to kill you for the music of this video

[PeterZeeke]

this singer of this song once insulted Chuck Norris.

[kingnuke]

dude i can't read some of the words! and it doesnt matter about the song cuz i automatically turned off the sound...

[WrecklessIntents]

Two fails

1.The song ruins the video

2.It's Chuck Norris FACTS!!!

[323tiim]

why's he so famas??

[ilirjannah]

hey guys Why does Chuck Norris sleep with the light on?

The dark is afraid of him hahhhahaha

[slashmole]

typical bullshit emo song

[tinycoco1]

@slashmole its his video, he can put what the fuck he wants to, so stfu.

[slashmole]

typical bullshit emo song

[xcolompapi]

Delilah is not listening....Chuck Norris is with Delilah now!

[parsleysprigs]

Where's the part where we hear the chuck norris jokes.

[simyan2008]

I WOULD RATHER HEAR THE SOUND = FAIL!

[rexwhitehair]

chuck norris doesnt wear a watch he decides what the fucking time is

[K1ng0fpimp5]

LOL CHUCK WHY THIS SONG

[officialspaceefrain]

u guys are nerds... and fanatixs.. ??????????

[TheDasilva1]

@officialspaceefrain chuck norris will kill you

[floyatta]

does chuck just remove everything that he doesn't like?

[LoVeViruSs]

Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kicked the earth a billion years ago, its still spinning

[chicksdigsme]

i am sick of chuck noris jokes all over the net.damit.stop it.

[Sleystrongwe]

@chicksdigsme wwhy did you watch this video then?

[enzo1221]

Chuck Norris is gonna kill you

[MrChunkyMaster]

Chuck Norris didn't approve of this video

[Daniboyking]

Chuck Norris paid his bills with his fists, not with a gay guitar.

[Eragarev]

Two things happen when you meet Chuck Norris:

1: he scares the shit out of you.

2: he scares the shit back into you.

[AimThatAss]

@Eragarev lololololololololoololol

[voogy]

Check out my latest little creation.

url: chuckfacts.mobi :) open in your pc browser or your phone browser!

Best selection of his facts and anecdotes for every occasion.

[trystandavid]

i agree it dont go with the vid, but i like it xD

[Shpati20]

68 People were beaten up by Chuck Norris.

[TabalugaDragon]

This is an awesome song, just doesn't fit to the video at all

[fisc25]

chucknorris dosent do a push up, he pushes the world down XD

[barett44]

i agree, but this song is not shitty, its my fav, its sweet. it remines me of someone <3

[Jeffbball5]

@barett44 i like you

[star3ize]

@Jeffbball5 what is the song called

[McMIxTER]

@barett44 its gay and ur gay

[masterfigo]

@barett44 Yeah.. this song reminds you of someone...... ok.... but i don't understand why the guy/girl had to put the song over a Chuck Norris telling his own jokes video..... it's not funny nor cute nor beautiful nor artistic nor inspiring nor... well absolutely no point here

[thebravo1994]

@barett44 wtf

[Feddykug27]

@barett44  i agree

[TheCottonTop]

@barett44 Who the fuck is name Delilah that is under the age of 50? Sounds like a prudish bitch name to me.

Your either a daddy's little girl or a homo. Either way your taste in music fucking suck and you need a beating.

[MrYt111]

@TheCottonTop of course there are girls under the age of 50 named delilah, its not like they are born at age 50 retard

[TheNerdatron123]

@barett44 fag..

[vladuthz1994]

fucking song!

[Jeffbball5]

@kolaasxd aids is fictional like peter pan and your penis

[kolaasxd]

@Jeffbball5 Your so god damn far in the closet you have adventures in Narnia you cunt.

[777Chileno]

retarded fuck whats up with this song!

[Jeffbball5]

@777Chileno hahaha i made it for you

[xxifishix]

@Jeffbball5 chuck norris put this song in befor u did ^^

[XxQuesinxX]

@777Chileno hey man this song was played in my grandmas funeral so watch it and dnt be so hateful i luv this song i sang it to my girlfriend keep your hateful comments to urself ok.... <3

[bonfire4000]

Chuck Norris hates this song.

[Jeffbball5]

@bonfire4000 he hates you

[DeadlyStrikeCz]

name song plz?

[Builderanddestroyer]

@DeadlyStrikeCz wae me up

[vhmful]

chuck norris didn't drink beer from the trash , the trash gave's him beer =))

[Jeffbball5]

@vhmful what? your retarded

[alokinzna]

WAS THE SONG NECESSARY ???

[Jeffbball5]

@alokinzna yes

[kakashihatakexXx]

DAMN !!!!!!! i 4got 2 laugh ...

[m3t5f4n]

every time you masturbate chuck norris punches a mexican baby in the face

[PotatoManJohn]

@m3t5f4n then he must of punched millions of babys i the face

[honeybakedham1990]

GAY!

[Jeffbball5]

@honeybakedham1990 yes u are 20 year old honeybakedham yes you are

[22bearsfan]

chuck norris can kick you in the back of the face

[bourimaBdupp]

Chuck Norris once Shot down a German Fighter plane with his finger by yalling "Bang"

[PotatoManJohn]

turn off the fucking song

[123Insomaniac]

@PotatoManJohn turn down the volume

[Jeffbball5]

@PotatoManJohn no

[StikPeopleComikz]

why does everyone use this song???

[qutt5]

U Didnt find chuck norris! Now chuck norris will be lucking for u :)

[mylifexxuncut]

when chuck norris do push ups....he actually pushes the earth down

[Electrobolt56]

When Chuck Norris slaps you in the face you have to fight the extreme urge to thank him

[catalinutzu1]

Chuck Norris knows all the jokes about him and who said / invented them all !!!!!!!

(so be carefull because Chuck Norris watch over you )

[katsuneshinsengumi]

2:20

Guy in coat : hey viewers choose the finger you want me to tickle my body,.

[Citzen92]

WHAT A SHITTY SONG...RUINED THIS VID

[Jeffbball5]

@Citzen92 you ruined your mothers life. a burden on your family and her lady parts

[Citzen92]

@Jeffbball5 GO EAT GRAVEL..U MORON..

[Jeffbball5]

@Citzen92 haha i like this

[Citzen92]

@Jeffbball5 i mean the song is not so bad,but i wanted to hear chuck's voice..calm down,buy yourself a beer..

[ruisulol9000]

@Citzen92 NO IN REALITY ITS TO SAVE US ALL FROM CHUCK NORRIS'S VOICE HE IS TRYING TO PROTECT US.... WE COULDN'T HANDLE CHUCK NORRIS IF HE WOULD OF SPOKEN

[Citzen92]

@Citzen92 I JUST WANNA TO HEAR CHUCK..I DONT CARE FOR SOME BOY 1000 MILES AWAY FROM HIS HOUSE AND GIRLFREND.....!

[Ometopada]

Original audio track removed by Chuck Norris.

[metallica29858]

If Chuck Norris roundhoused you in the face you would have to say thank you..........if you live

[Ensor125]

when chuck norris jumps in the pool chuck norris dosnt get wet the pool gets chuck norris

[metallica29858]

In the USA you watch Chuck Norris on talk show But in Soviet Russia Chuck Norris watches you

[metallica29858]

Chuck Norris' smile once brang a puppy back to life

Chuck Norris can dry his clothes underwater

Theres an order in the universe; space, time and Chuck Norris Just kidding Chuck Norris is first

Chuck Norris does not age every birthday is just another year added to his existence which sucks for you

Chuck Norris needs a stunt double for crying scenes

Chuck Norris can make the impossible triangle possible

[LJDMH95]

Chuck Norris doesn't appear on talk shows. Talk shows appear on chuck Norris.

[worminator88]

Chuck Norris can divide by zero

[DARKVBKILLA]

Chuck Norris will make an atheist believe.

[iOutComei]

Chuck Nori... ah who am i kidding? Chuck Norris did everything and everyone!

[InvisibleLTU]

Chuck norris meets david guetta and ask him "what do you mean THE WORLD IS MINE" ?

[albinoslam1970]

@Jeggbball5 - Those aren't Chuck Norris jokes, it's facts

[spartan9013]

Comment Removed By Chuck Norris

[Jeffbball5]

@spartan9013 shut up man your not even cool

[zeromc010]

eminem : i'm not afraid chuck norris : i love the way you lie xD

[thinkpink6568]

omg i love this song! more than the chuck norris jokes, which is why i am going to run before he finds me and kills me

[Poetguy98]

@thinkpink6568 lol chuck norris will always find you....

[MrJkid2010]

if it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken and feels like chicken and chuck norris sais its beff, then its fucking beef!

[tazerme]

chuck norris was bitten by a cobra... after 6 days of excruciating pain the cobra died

[Browno94]

Chuck Norris is the only person who can kick you in the back of the face.

[eminemcandies]

@Browno94 lol i cant stop lmfao

[HellsingKid666]

chuck norris sleeps with the pillow under his gun

[temospreamo]

Chuck Norris ordered a "Big Mac" at Burger King, and got one!

xD

[temospreamo]

chuck Norris can light fire with two ice cubes!!!

[temospreamo]

Chuck Norris once roundhoused a planet so hard, it burst into flames. Today, it is known as the sun ...

[SeanRVCA]

spiderman wears chuck norris pajamas