Added: 3 years ago
From: FUCKyourGODmyth
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  • I'm done. This guy is not even funny. At all. What a sick joke. If this guy can make a living as a comedian then a lot of you self-appointed smart people aren't nearly as smart as you think. But I'm sure Cross doesn't care - he laughs all the way to the bank.

  • I'm only afraid of two types of people, crazies and the religious, another type of crazy. Some crazy types can't control their emotions, and religious people can justify anything. There's a park somewhere in London where crazies congregate to lecture crowds of tourists who want to experience their rampant idiocy. Guess what! Some of them rant and rave about politics, but most are preachers of some kind telling you to accept Jesus in order to escape hell. Doesn't that tell you something people? 

  • At any one time there are 31 armed conflicts otherwise known as wars on the planet. On average 24 of the 31 (78%) are based on religion. About two years ago a Catholic prelate from the Chicago area admitted that by his calculation 66% were religion-based. You lukewarm Christians with doubts are part of the reason this is the case because if you spent just a few seconds following your brain rather than your church and family you could help put a stop to some of that plus other things.

  • Infrangablecrunk a month ago suggested here that atheists should shut up and smile. I'd rather not do that because religious types control the congresses and other parts of government which results in limits on the rights of some. If churches and other religious entities paid taxes like they should, I wouldn't have to pay their share. And I recently saw Obama give in to the religious over grants which involved mandating the use of condoms, which means some people will needlessly die of AIDS.

  • im not a good christian cuz i probably could careless if you idiots dont recieve Christ but i know he loves you people still because he hasnt returned yet!

  • You guys looking for a second coming, why don't you set a date in your mind when you decide that Jesus missed the bus. After that I think you should begin examining your beliefs. You won't do that though. You'll forget about dates or set a new date, because somewhere along the way you let your brain be sucked out and stopped thinking for yourself. Lots of people believe he'll come sometime in 2012. If you're in that group, why don't you begin rethinking long about January 1st 2013? OK? Promise?

  • @SabraStiehl He will come like a thief in the night-when you least expect it

  • All signs point to Jesus being a closeted homosexual.

  • @SnorklinWithCudas:

    sigh....Grow up and forget about your imaginary friends.

  • Why do you atheists put so much effort into hating on something you think is false? If there's really no God, why not have a coke and a smile and shut up?

  • @infragablecrunk

    Because if we do, you guys will overrun everything and then we will become the reasons for all your failings. WAKE UP ATHEISTS OF THE WORLD!!!!

  • this is ridiculous, i mean TRI-cycles would be BI-cycles...who's every heard of a bi-cycle??

  • @micahsmith2280

    There's ~5,000 different religions with a supposed "savior" for each one, so that's a hefty wager you're making.

    I think an omniscient and omnipresent god, if such a god exists and created humans, would have the benevolence to forgive anyone if they used their brain to come up with the answer to life on their own, which said god gave them, if that is truly your belief. Why would a god punish people for thinking, with a brain that said god created?

  • There's better material of Cross describing the ridiculousness of religion, but this is funny. "If Baseball Had AIDS on Them" from his album "Shut Up You Fucking Baby!" is, in my opinion, his best material regarding religion.

  • @micahsmith2280 Pascal's wager actually don't make no sense, cause it don't make no case for which god is the right one. You go worhippin Allah and Zeus gonna mess you up good.

  • i feel so liberated becoming an atheist. 2:55 is that feeling. all these superstitions and stupidity washes off the mind. one tends think logically and clearly about precious moments of existence. I wasnt even aware there's something like subjective experience and now my definitions of everything's changed.

  • @micahsmith2280 So what you're saying is that the only reason you believe is because if you don't you'll go into a burning lake of fire and you're hedging your bets? Sounds to me like you don't really believe it and you're trying to reconcile your fear of death with your growing questions about your belief system. Look up cognitive dissonance.

    Besides, if your god is omniscient, wouldn't he/she/it/deity-pronoun see right through your pseudo-belief?

  • How is this "educational"?

  • no need to through hatred to the haters ~ only love can transform, only the Holy Spirit can fuel goodness ~

  • Imagine the world without atheism, no Stalin (20+ million killeD), no Mao Ze Dong (50+ million killed), no Pol Pot (1.5 plus million killed). David Cross is a comedian, not a philosopher of any sort.

  • @johhnycarlos Yeah, imagine the world without your god. Didn't he kill like everyone but 8 people at one point in your book? How many did Satan get? 10? And with your god's permission???

    And let's not discuss what was done by christians (not even just in the name of christianity, since the examples you brought up weren't done in the name of atheism, just by atheists).

  • @Madcat0911 Show me which teachings of Christ these 'chirstians' were following. Hypocrites for sure.

  • @johhnycarlos I'll show you which of these teachings of Christ the christians were following if you show me what teachings of atheism those atheists were following.

    Because the only teaching of atheism is that there are no gods... Kinda hard to find a way to say it teaches to kill people.

  • @johhnycarlos "If you don't have to answer for your sins why not Just go ape shit crazy?"

    If you only do good because it says so in a book, do you actually consider yourself good? And are you actually that close to being a psychopath yourself?

    Why didn't people throughout the world go "ape shit crazy" before Jesus arrived and his teachings reach them?

  • i like your username FUCKyourGODmyth

  • He was hanging with Matthew and who???

  • LOLZ! Paused at 55 seconds.

    I'm about to make a BLT wrap after I watch this vid. Maybe she'll appear on MY tortilla?!

    Lets watch on...

  • Jesus was a liar. He said he was he son of God. He wasn't. He said he would return. He hasn't. He said there is a heaven and a hell. There are not such places. He said the meek shall inherit the earth, they haven't.

    If Jesus wasn't a liar, certainly the gospel writers were.

  • @drfoxcourt I'm more to the point that the gospel writers were liars.  No one who wrote about Jesus ever met him, and were for the most part within a "few" generations of eye-witnesses. Jesus was probably a cool dude, with his hippie philosophy, but I think people with different motivations hijacked him for his name value.

  • @MrY0ufail

    As a student of the history of religion -

    No copy of any gospel is an original -they are imperfect copies.

    Changes were made both accidental and volitional

    Most gospels are derived from earlier sources.

    There were several large christian sects around 300 AD that had different views and were antagonistic towards each other.

    The Roman emperor Constantine, who was a pagan at the time, chose Pauline christianity to be his state religion. The others were outlawed by the council of Nicea

  • @drfoxcourt

    Never met J, only read what he told other people who told other people who told other people who then wrote it down 50 to 200 years after he died.

    Those writings were copied and recopied by hand with many changes along the way, some of which were somewhat outlandish - these are not in the current approved canon.

  • jesus isnt a liar, maby not as a noun that describes him as just a liar and just that, but he lied at least once in his life.

  • does david still do stand up ?

  • @steven4rmnewyork i imagine so, theres shit about obama in what ive heard by him

  • She's a virgin. Think about it.

  • best line: "... and there will be another 1000 years of fund raising."

  • I have been catholic for 18 years and comedians are turning my opinion around completely. Not sure whether to agree or not. It dies make a ton of sense though.

  • @SurrealMarksman You're questioning your faith. Good to hear. Please continue do to so, in all aspects of life, until you are satisfied with your answers.

  • @SurrealMarksman allow comedians to change your perspective as opposed to common sense....well done mouth breather....

  • @makersmark90 So it's okay to believe in Sky Cake, and have a religious experience from a bit of mold or drugs or oxygen deprivation or fever or toast or a Cheetos or a dream or a hallucination or a really good crap or walking along the road to Damascus, but when someone else says something you might not have thought about, that and that alone is not OK?

  • @makersmark90 Reading their comment, its states that they think it makes alot of sense. What the comedians say, that it. And common sense only gets you so far in the study of things.....

  • @SurrealMarksman Comedians are the only ones who can make any sense of the absurd.Grats on questioning your cultural baggage regardless of where or who makes you think about it.

  • @SurrealMarksman talk to a pastor... thatsd all i can reccomend

  • The end of the world in 2000 part is the funniest. Those preachers are going to be pwned again in 2012

  • There's Hypocrisy in all Religions!

  • @MaxPlanck011 Typical how people like you have to swear due to the fact you can't get your opinion out any better.

  • @tudssquadbuisness lol, your a dumbass, i practically guarantee my vocabulary and verbal /written english skills surpass yours you dumb cunt.

  • @MaxPlanck011 Coming from a guy who doesn't spell well.

  • @tudssquadbuisness I'm sick of all you little YouTube bitches complaining about somebody's spelling. You can't find a valid point to bitch about, so the next best thing is picking apart somebody's spelling errors. Fucking douchebags!

  • @tudssquadbuisness you are truly a worthless piece of crap..we all wish your parents had used a condom on the night your were concieved

  • Funny, you Atheists call your belief a religion. How about worshipping your lovely plasma screen tv's and the tree in your front yard since you have no idea what BELIEVING is.

  • @tudssquadbuisness What a joke. Yeah some PEOPLE are that way, regardless of their religion, but some PEOPLE enjoy life and live it to the fullest. I'd even venture to say that atheists enjoy life even more than those who are too scared not to believe in an afterlife... this the only life I've got, I better make it worth it. Also, many atheists see the beauty and wonder of NATURE and how lucky we are to exist.

  • @allisonmarie33 yup....

  • @tudssquadbuisness Atheism is not a religion - that's the whole point. I do not own a television.

  • @tudssquadbuisness at least they can SEE their Plasma and not have to be convinced that its a magical one with powers, that can telepathically communicate with you, but for some reason you cant see it and has the power to end world hunger and poverty and crime and violence and rape, but doesnt do anything about it. and for some odd reason, this Omnipotent being needs American money to keep stable?! you people are silly =)

  • @tudssquadbuisness I would rather believe in my trees and tvs , Ya know why cuz they There real i can see them. Not like your imaginary speghette Monster!

  • WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW POOR SOUL 

  • Yes David, what were you wearing?

    Think about it!

  • @pyrorockztar - You cannot be serious.

  • @pyrorockztar those are simply statistics churches make up, no one approves it

  • @pyrorockztar puleeeezeee tell me you`re being sarcastic. you dont really believe that right? even if you`re a christian, you`re kidding right?

  • @pyrorockztar

    so...Hell is underground? Wow, you blew my mind. Sir I believe you've changed my life. I am a believer. All TRUE Chrstians like me must make it our duty to dig. Dig deep my brothers. We must take up the sword of Christ and plunge deep into Hell. We must go 14.4 kilometers down. This is our time for the followers of Christ. Next tuesday we dig. Then we kill the devil. Yeeee Haaaaaa.

  • @pyrorockztar People like you are driving people farther and farther away from christianity.  Keep it up,seriously........Thank you.

  • @SkullVodka no people like you are driving people further and further from the red ranger - the greatest and most valiant of all the power rangers

  • @Harryclownie Didnt one of the actors that played the power rangers get convicted for murder? Wonder which it was.

  • @CraigMetalHead it was the red one,.. he is like a noble warrior, a silent protector, a red ranger!!

  • @pyrorockztar Whaaaaat?

  • @pyrorockztar Haha, you moron! That recording was made by a radio station as an "april fool's joke".

  • @pyrorockztar You are completely full of shit. Just another Christian liar.

  • So many christians are narrow minded and naive, hence the reason why they are so easily brainwashed. Religion does NOT corner the market on morals and values. Free thought and doing the right thing was around way before religion was. Too many christians say that the stories of the bible are "life lessons" written to teach us how to make the right choices as if none of us ever could before the bible was written. Religion is all about power, control and money and I want no part of it! Freedom!

  • you haveto remember that this is a comedy show and not a real theological argument but this woman was bat shit

  • If you spent more than 1.5 minutes trying to type out a deep well thought out statement here about god or religion, take a break, you're a faggot and a tool.

  • I'm rubbing my hands together in anticipation for the 2012 backpedaling. Oooh, I can't wait.

  • i got this sage... LMFAO

  • @xyouxtubexyouxtubex I don't understand.  Explanation?

  • I love how "atheists" bitch about organized religion but are only atheists due to resentment towards how they perceived it as a rebellious youth. How about we take an objective look at legitimate philosophical theologies of a couple different world religions like Catholicism, Judaism, and Islam and read them like adults instead of Characterizing 4 billion people as ignorant idiots and using extremists as examples of the entire lot of people. I love David Cross, but you people boil my blood.

  • Hes a comedian and how people believe most religious nonsense is comical.... its not rocket science

  • The book of Genesis is a myth. We know this for a fact. Therefore your "legitimate philosophical theology is bullshit, from page number one.

    It doesn't matter if it makes you feel good to believe it, or if it enriches your life, or anything else.

    We atheists are simply brave enough to accept that your god is imaginary.

    That's all there is to it, mate. You just need to grow the fuck up and pull your head out of your bible.

  • Catholicism and Judaism both acknowledge the creation story in genesis as a mythological tale but is doesn't pertain one damn bit to the validity of either of those faiths. That argument is absolute hogwash. I've been on both sides of the fence. I was a stone cold atheist for a good long while. But I actually starting reading secular philosophy and theology from about a half dozen different spiritual philosophies and theologies and have been to the deepest reaches of Buddhist meditation.

  • If you want to stick your head up your ass and just say, "this one story is a myth, God therefore can't exist, and all the religions are just bullshit" then be my guest, and live an angry, miserable experience taking offense at someone else's faith, scoffing at their belief as ignorant. Some of the most brilliant individuals, in fact most, to walk this earth were theists. Were they ignorant too? Did they "have their head in the bible"? You seem to assume the bible is the end all to religion.

  • I didn't say god can't exist. I just said the bible is disproven. So that means YOURS doesn't.

    I know you pray to the Christian god by how hostile you are towards my mentioning it.

    If you'd like to agree that your silly desert god has been disproven, then let's move on to the next. Which god would you suggest I believe in... since it's impossible for me to believe in yours?

    Until you can find me a god to replace that one... I will continue to call myself an "atheist".

  • It's most certainly not. Furthermore, the primary translation floating around in the US in English is the protestant version molded to fit Lutheran doctrine. Do yourself a favor, learn Greek, and go read the original work. You'll find it's a bit different. Honestly the hostility towards the intelligently religious is undeserved. We're not the ones forcing diluted crap down you throat. You can't discard 2 millenia of theology because one book is allegory. Here's a secret, most are. Jackass.

  • Jesus disagrees with you that it was allegory, according to the book of Matthew.

    So... was Jesus an idiot... or a liar? You tell me, mate.

  • You talk about my hostility, but you threw down the obscenity and insult card early on sir, so let's not play that card. Where in Matthew?

    Also, secular philosophy holds that God can not be proven or disproven on physical evidence as God is held to exist beyond the limitation of matter, nor can you logically disprove God. So this nonsense about a "Christian God" being disproven is just that, nonsense. You'd be invalidating Judaism and Islam as well.

  • Yes, Judaism and Islam are both invalid.

    There is a literal lineage from Abraham to Jesus in the book of Matthew. Jesus also speaks literally of Adam, and Noah. We know for a fact that both of these characters are fictional. In fact, Noah is a plagiarized character from a pagan story called the Epic Of Gilgamesh.

    Since Jesus obviously didn't know this... I wouldn't expect you to either.

    Sorry mate... you got nothing.

  • As for hostility, I'm just pointing out how angry you got when I ridiculed your imaginary Christian god. That's the proof that you worship said god. Therefore, I've taken away your ability to worm your way out of it when I show you why your god is imaginary.

    The typical tactic is to describe your god as more generic, and not necessarily the Christian god, etc. We now know that you worship the genocidal desert god I spoke of. So now you're stuck defending the undefendable. Good luck. :)

  • One last note, Christ taught almost exclusively in allegory on most mundane things having to do with daily life on earth, that would be called a parable.

    Were those just nice little stories to entertain the peasantry or did they have a point?

  • Jesus was neither an idiot nor a liar, but there is no god and you are a faggot.

  • Sleep it off.

  • Comment removed

  • @SnorklinWithCudas God not being real makes Jesus a liar. Faggot.

  • @bridde What is with the Faggot comment, no big deal but can't you pick a name that is more fitting, idiot, delusional, fanatic?

  • @darbone Haha, true. And i felt bad typing it at the time. The thing is, i was originally offended by his/her use of the word in his/hers comment. :)

  • @ambrose30 I can still disregard your version of theology because however intelligent you think it is, it's still disregarding over a century of real breakthroughs in philosophy, psychology, sociology, etc. It's half-baked. Old ways of seeing the world and our relationship with it and with other people. If you want spirituality, I can see and understand that. But you can get it without the allegorical tales and illogical concepts. It's just outdated.

  • @Saalyg the king james bible is written so the stupidest members of the community could understand it and learn to be good. not even the best scienceofthe timewhich was probably still humours and elements would not translate into the normal lexicon. the are moral stories just like any other religion a paraoble or moral is never outdated aesop has been around longer then theking jamesbible and still people learn valuble life lessons and hear and amuzing storie of him.

  • @ambrose30 Atheists aren't a "people"...faggot.

  • I personally believe in a god, but a god that only makes the universe run. That's it.

  • only ignorant delusional wishful fucks believe god exists or intervenes in human affairs.

  • It is funny especially to those of us who have had christianity forced upon us our entire lives. If you don't like it, listen to something else and leave us athiests alone.

  • ha ha. good one. do you have an agent?

  • Oh my Fucking Non-Existent god, that was funny!

    I will be back to this vid occasionally!

    Awesome! Thanks for the post!!!

  • is this on dvd? what's the title of the show?

  • lol raped

  • I liked this very much. Very good!

  • I got this sage... lol

  • love this

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