Business Card Fail

[Wordtemplate]

You have a good business card indeed..

[hydropvc]

makes good firewood

[alsoRichards]

:49 Look at that subtle black and white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh my god, it even has a pop out.

[realanimation2]

I do garantee(i know i write it wrong) fucking you wife.

[PapaSix1]

No, it doesn't belong in a Rolodex. It belongs in the garbage.

[nardcalls]

uhhh did anyone see the zoomed in eyeball at the very last second? ':/

[walkenthrough]

What do i do guaranteed? I shove my foot up your ass so hard it makes you throw up blood.

[MrDeuceBunny]

i like it

[shawnoneal]

Your card is a joke. Your card is a child's birthday invite. Your card is a pop up book. No self respecting person in business would EVER use a card like that. Less IS more. 25 years to develop? I wouldn't brag about that.

[darthvader2951]

so how many of this special cards have u sold??????????? And how did u acttualy got for this retard cards???? Is there somethin wrong wit u??? U hav to much time on ur hands 25 yrs worth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!­!

[cdisxm]

Yeah, he may be all those things. Maybe you can say move over Donald Trump, but this guy's views and say his view are crap. Try and make a video that gets as many views, guaranteed you can't.

[unholyimage]

I alienate my family and push away business partners with my huge ego: GUARANTEED!

[stupidity261]

yours have 2 colors im impressed

[ZeroResolution]

He's like a guido all grown up...

[4demon9]

I f**k your mom! Guaranteed... GIGGITY!!!

[Marluxias268]

He's a very, very slow designer

[remastann]

i like the first 2 cards better lol

[ayetozed]

I'm pretty sure that's called a "brochure".

[muntoonxt]

Hah, my business card has a surface area of 10000cm^2, and it's 2cm thick. Beat that.

[BJs4MePlz]

with a pitch like this!! HOW CAN I LOSE?!

[FarbrorKudde]

Omg he is so fucking awesome!!! xD I just can't manage to think of him as a retard or a douche, it's impossible. He's just made of awesome hahahaha

[armd86]

Did you mean "Business Card WIN"?

[techdeckelectric]

wtf you dont need to say crap.

[FilmMakerMahmoud]

25 years to create a business card?

WHAT A FAIL!

[JeffDM]

Talk about spending a lot of money to flush class and dignity down the toilet. His presentation has too many awkward pauses and abrupt starts, I really don't have any reason to have confidence in what he says. He says no one would throw away his card, but really, he's just talking. I know I would just chuck it in my recycle bin.

[fresnostatebd]

HE BUILDS CROWDS, GUARANTEED!!! 

[fallout7311]

i saw this guy on tv yesterday

[casdavies]

hero

[jeva33]

I think this is the real Tevin Downey from "I Love You Man." In fact, I think I took a piss on his face last week in a Bennigans.

[KevinAllTerrain]

So funny. If he's such a great pitchman, why did he allow someone to film a video and put it on YouTube that makes him seem like a d'bag?

[mmuukkkkaa]

it took him 25 years to make that card the irony is that his profession is making card for a living

[IHaveLostMyAccount]

who takes 25 years to make a card ?

this guy needs a life

[SudneyJames]

I'd give my right nut to get a 10 second sniff of one of those business cards.

[Sweezlballin]

25 years put into a die-cut, foil stamped, embossed piece of crap that dont even fit in your wallet!

[marijanx]

asshole..............

[xSKILLETx97]

tool



[Lazera]

what a pompous, narcissistic jackass

[MiguelitoSan]

Every graphic designer will laugh at the 25 year comment. EVERY. ONE.

[burningwhitewolf121]

he is my personal hero

[Bearskickass976]

i would use his card as a coster

[snake0059]

25 years waisted....

[Ariescpa]

This is very stupid... Guy has a dumb idea and is full of himself...

[laughingallthetime8D]

it took him 25 years? he has a great life.

[laughingallthetime8D]

it took him 25 years? he has a great life.

[hagopisbored]

I like turtles

[Kenyee28]

why would you spend 25 years designing a business card?.. all you need in a business card is information about the company.

[JaceBelmont1]

i want to burn his card and piss on it just to see his face

[brizzlefizzle]

Wow i bet he gets laid on the spot when he pulls that beast out!

[TexasSharkFishing]

When are you going to post move video! :-)

[z3pp3lin15]

25 Years for a card? Well what does it do exactly?

[maddash24seven]

Hates gonna hate.

[MarcoTUV]

25 years to design a flyer?

[LuvTheGfunk]

hahahaha his face when he says "what do you do guaranteed?"

[MrQuuem]

I'd punch you in the face! GARANTEE!!!!

[seanisbeast]

@MrQuuem you will never win a spelling bee. Guaranteed!

[MrQuuem]

@seanisbeast Yeah, that is no excuse, but english is not my first language. I'd still punch him in the face tough, even with my bad grammar.

[dickmcballs]

You're hereby nominated for biggest douche in the universe! Congrats!

[daddymalony]

i want one of these cards, i dont even mind paying the $4 plus post!

[JesterAzazel]

1:46

"I do your mom.. Guaranteed.." -RWJ

[mucast]

This is NOT a business card it's a tiny over priced brochure!

[Roxiedice]

I hand out life size business cards of myself to my clients because everybody who meets me loves me and wants to take me home, but there's not enough of me to go around. I'm a fucking genius I tell ya! A fucking genius.

[qasimzz1]

making of this card took 25 years why should he put his energies in NASA .this

Card is crap where should he put them in briefcase.on the other hand he proofs he is so stupid he was doing research for his business card and do nothing for his business.

[nexus1g]

This guy's pretty full of himself for having spent 25 years just to make a business card.

[combasso2]

I wish you were my dad!

[twix806]

Damn thats awesome

[ibanezman]

Wasn't this dude on Fantasy Factory ?

[gbinct]

"Let's see Paul Allen's card."

[crada1]

@gbinct Perfect! I'd call Patrick Bateman as a fourth anyday before I'd call this guy for a round of golf.

[CanineFaeces]

This is a joke, right? Fucking pop-ups!? Cardboard cut-outs? What the fuck? He should make it in leather and sell it as a wallet. Funniest shit I've seen all night.

[OMNIsticSKILLZ]

ok yours can't tear but I'm sure I can burn it.

[mikesentra]

Pffft. I didn't see a watermark.

[Nunnzii]

got that card in green???... ok i'll wait another 25 years

[kshed666]

@Nunnzii he said design not make. mad ignorant

[kurdishboy94]

YOUR CRAP WTF DO U WANT ME TO DO BUY YOUR CARD Y

[kurdishboy94]

YOUR CRAP

[caganb]

I'll take 1000 cards today

[camatt2989]

when i go to important meetings i hand out laptops... with the sole purpose of showing my face and credentials... it plays classy music and speaks aloud my accomplishments.... yea its expencive... but nobody throws out a laptop

[camatt2989]

when i go to important meetings i hand out laptops... with the sole purpose of showing my face and credentials... it plays classy music and speaks aloud my accomplishments.... yea its expencive... but nobody throws out a laptop

[UnitCobra]

This guy is BADASS.

[hecrpd]

It took him 25 years to design his card?I design a card like this in 5 minutes.LOL

[kshed666]

@hecrpd thats why your not making money and this guys rich

[hecrpd]

@kshed666 Speak for yourself nigga.

[Joeybsmooth]

I hope this is a joke. How would I keep that thing. The cards that I use fit in my wallet or a card holder on my disk.

[jmanchickabow]

oh yeah, my card sucks your dick when you open it.

[charliethepunk]

I think it grabs attention worth 4$ a piece, I'm going to ask my friends to design me one like that.

[derrickjenkins]

If you like this video check my Hiring Hiring Hiring Video. I snapped on morons.

[onestrpker1]

What do I do? I fuck your mother, guaranteed.

[IbnFergus]

Please, go show this to Patrick Bateman.

No, better yet, go pitch the idea to Ari Gold, I'd love to see his reaction.

[TheJasonSoon]

How awesome he thinks his business cards are is equivalent to the douche-bag he is.

[tiggermad]

so........................ he mad a business card that not fit in a wallet or purse and has the same gimmick as most of the books my 2 year old niece has and strangely they cost about the same. I'm so confused lol. i agree make ur business card interesting but you can do that with a picture and making the card a different colour.

[yourdumbanyway1]

you really wasted your time coz it looks really shit

[MikeShownut]

Move over Vince

[IXIvirtualchowderIXI]

No crap it bends and holds a crease!Look at any fucking paper!

[freddythepie]

lol this should have been in american scycho's buisness card scene

[6cheesy6]

@freddythepie it is "American Psycho". Not in plural.

[thaKing0fKings]

@6cheesy6 not in plural? A) he wrote it wrong to being with "American Scycho's" and B) Adding " 's " to something doesn't make it plural.

[shoseki]

lol, this card is a joke. Its like its' owner - big & dumb, and doesn't fit in with others.

[unfetteredfreak]

if my card is carp , then ur crap ....guaranteed !

[billhanifin]

A new approach to selling, breakdown your prospect and make them feel so stupid they have only one choice - buy what you are selling. Only problem is, it doesn't work....

[chanster28]

He's like Patrick Bateman from American Pyscho! One day he'll snap cos he thinks someone has a better card than him!

[Danielnewbold]

i bet you his card can still be torn.

[gtaivruler]

At first, he seemed cool. Until he showed his own card.

[ihatejustinblowjob]

wtf

[VintageJunior]

I think the only business card I will just throw out is one that DOESN'T FRICKIN FIT ANYWHERE

[P00PThrower]

My card is telling you that IM THE BAUSE!!!

[AntaresBFJX]

holy fuck that took him half his life hahaha ive done better shit in my old art class couple years back in 1 hour

[alxurs]

this guy needs professional help

[vatd112]

What do you do guaranteed?

[StudiodeNaufrage]

look at his cheesy hair

[12561prado]

ahah i juss saw this from rob dyrdeks fantsisy fact. ahah nd i was board

[ozzie256]

fail

[HorryForTheWinYES]

your moms cards in my roledex

[naireland]

wow, what a tool. Forgot to mention that his Square card can't fit in a wallet and is destined to be thrown in A drawer sandwiched between my old Taco Bell wrappers, and bank statements

[dollarsandsensecoup]

sweet video...this guy is great

dollarsandsensecoupons

[VoidKeeper]

Your card also folds, holds a crease and I'm SURE you can tear it LOL. Why mention it on those other business cards idiot???

[diputsproductions]

more like bussiness card win!

[rekamlias1]

Jump off a building it will guarrenty a crowd. Your card sucks spend another 25 years and you will be dead. At 4 bucks a card you are a moron!

[EyerisEyeris]

Wooooow,

This guy has managed to give the words 'retard', 'moron' and 'narcissism' a whole new dimension and depth just by being himself!!!!

He's soooo insecure... unbelievable!! What an arrogant bastard :):)

@Rudibanane, You forgot to mention his wife and daughter also :):)

[97TalonTsiTurbo]

i like how he got loud at the end lmao

[telesforito]

25 years??? guess he hasn't heard of photoshop :p

[HoldUpOneTime]

really wish i could c what he does

[monkeyzrdabom]

@HoldUpOneTime he probably designs business cards in his moms basement, thats exactly what he does, lol

[jas16899]

Wow that's a business card that REALLY POPS!

[whatahole123321]

i saw this on Rob Dyrdecks fantasy factory :)

[jewbag111]

@whatahole123321 me 2

[LayLow9O9]

@whatahole123321 me 2

[PharaChris]

what a dick

[MarcCCoraty]

@PharaChris this is an act.

[slytown]

It's not as good as Paul Allen's card.

[thecodinghero]

@slytown Best. Comment. Ever. :)

[M0b0tehH0b0]

Still not as cool as Kevin Mitnick's card.

[Hgirl4011]

Be honest, is this from a movie?

This seems to hilariously written for this man to be serious.

[willwork4superpowazz]

Chumps calling this guy a douche, I suggest you learn more about this guy AND LEARN FROM HIM!

[xG33Kx]

You are full of yourself.

And 25 years to design a damn business card? If you're that lazy or dumb, how can you be a motivational speaker? Do you motivate people to be douchebags like you?

[willwork4superpowazz]

@xG33Kx hahahahah do you LITERALLY think it was legitimately 25 years??? hahahah thats the most stupid comment everyone makes here, by that he means he thought of the idea of a unique business card 25 years back, and gradually started getting more ideas by time, MEANING he wasnt 24/7 thinking about the card, he designed the card prolly in a day, but with 25 years of graphic design behind him, basically me being an industrial designer (for subaru) I understand what he did and it truly is great

[xG33Kx]

@willwork4superpowazz Doesn't mean he doesn't act like a douchebag. It's a cool idea, but he doesn't have to act like a douche.

[willwork4superpowazz]

@xG33Kx -___- you really dont know?? he HAD to act like a douche... CAUSE HE WAS ACTING!!!! thois is a character he played, he isnt really like that, he said it himself and the director of the vid said it, it was a roll he took for the vid.

so LITERALLY he HAD to act like a douche, any more misguided/uninformed replies?

[xG33Kx]

@willwork4superpowazz I think you are more of a douche, to be honest. Not only do you act like you are smarter, you troll YouTube comments just to start shit with someone, thereby making you an idiot.

[willwork4superpowazz]

@xG33Kx how does one even manage to "act smart"?? hahaha is that all you could come up with? where I simply just pointed out the facts to you! so your reply comes as a surprise for me, anyways I'm not TROOOOOLLLLLLIIIIINNNNGGG! ;)

In any case it's you.

I encourage you to reply as where to point out where or why did you 'feel' i "acted smart" like i said, I simply informed/filled you in on the facts ;)

"Thereby making YOU an idiot" ¬.¬ ... :D

[xG33Kx]

@willwork4superpowazz Okay, keep sucking Joel Bauer's dick and go find the shift key on your keyboard. Get a life and stop stalking my comments.

[willwork4superpowazz]

@xG33Kx awwww are you offended? and here i thought i was the girl in the conv. and you're WHINING when I have NEVER insulted you in the comments, yet you insulted me left and right, am I whining? hahahahaha you better be a girl as well cause if your a guy... :/ you better grow some balls... FAST!

HAHAHAHAHAHA xD take care... pussy xD

[xG33Kx]

@willwork4superpowazz I didn't know I was the one overreacting... tell me where exactly I did please. It would be appreciated. By the way, you never really needed to start this (which you did). I never insulted you, I was insulting Joel Bauer. Spend less time on the computer and more building social skills and prioritizing your life. You don't seem like a people person, you seem more like a douche. Are you PMSing, or just a douchey guy posing as a chick?

[xG33Kx]

@willwork4superpowazz Actually, you know, people like you make me happy... by wasting all your time trolling my YouTube comments, you remind me just how much of a life I have, especially in comparison to you. Lol, thanks again btw :P

[electrojones]

This video was directly responsible for the suicides of his parents.

[MugenElixir]

oh yeah well mine comes with 3d glasses, not for the card but for the pass to see the movie to see how to see what the card says. And when you see what the card says well. It says "Flip it over dumbshit!"

[VitorMadcowe]

I still find it hard to see if this is real life or made on purpose... seriously... I just cant

[armycadet33]

25 years haha

[akasunanosasori01]

@armycadet33

25 years, It means that he put all his knowledge as graphic designer on that business card, iy's like he is saying that he's been designing for 25 years.

[TheFatty2497]

I think he's getting business cards confused with brochures. Your business card shouldn't be folded and have a pop out. Your 3 year old daughter's sesame street book should be folded and have a pop out.

[akasunanosasori01]

@TheFatty2497

Graphic designers can go wild with b cards to show their creativity to the audience, it's like a small portfolio that speaks abour u.

[dennyfinn2003]

Nice head of hair

[drdre306]

making this card will your life GUARaNTEED

[Bradford621]

i jizz on your mom's face GUARANTEED

[plushjoel]

ganna rape your wife and give her aids GURANTEED

[kurtiskdr]

its a fuckin Business Card

[mchrist910]

genius. he shits on all of you.

[numbers9to0]

25 years to design this piece of shit? LOL

A 12 year old can do this with corel draw in 1 day!

Loser!

[pdizzlemac]

@numbers9to0 bet hes more successful than you'll ever be.

[12NiBer12]

what a fucking looser

[C3rial]

If I ever meet this guy I'm gonna eat him to try to possess his powers!

[nguyenjohn357]

u can still rip it

[Pook365]

So who is this douche anyway ?

[fewbytes]

LOL

[TripleMFilmWork]

he the man!

[pfernando27]

i can do his mom guaranteed.

[dot202]

So much style in one video!!

[falosifursunrated]

I CAN'T MAKE IT STOP!!!!

[runimina]

! it's ugly and with his face all over it, make him look totally self centered. Not to mention that it's REALLY stupid to use every trick on the card. Like, you don't use embossing AND die cut AND pop up. Those are supposed to be the little "wow" factor and if you use them all at once, it just looks dumb and overdone.

[Pook365]

@runimina Yeah it looks like a kids website from the 90's...ooh you mean I can play music while the text flashes and the hamsters dance!

[TheCLETUSJr]

What do you do "Guranteed"?, bitches

[panzerveps]

@TheCLETUSJr i come to work, drink some coffee then leave. what about you?

[stevekam500]

Quick! Change all business cards to not have any useful information, cannot fit into a pocket, and looks like a shitty album cover!

[froget86]

how many "titles" should one write after you name in a biz card? Ph.D., MBA, CFA... or just Ph.D. ?