"Bastion" Review

[MrMacGrungy]

They need to get Bastion on more platforms :D Ps3, 3DS...the only way i can play is through chrome :(

[MegaGamingCraze]

xplay once again u do not in depth with the review, u spend more time trying to make a joke to the point to where we can't take u seriously and u love to ramble on and on and not get to the point or in depth of why this game deserves a 4 out of 5. xplay u suck hard balls

[maxrhulsman]

the story is the best fuckin part. this is complete bullshit

[Klaymans]

they give it a 4/5 and talk about it like its a bad games, and the plot was awesome

[haitah]

How does a 4/5 equal a bad game?

[callumjack321]

please head on over to pixels or death .com for a more comprehensive and professional review

[callumjack321]

I'm not sure if this is a stupid question or not, but does G4 even do video game reviews anymore? Bastion was a masterpiece of story, art direction, music, and gameplay. I can't tell if this was a pathetic attempt by G4 at trolling, because I sincerely hope this isn't serious. This review was disgusting, unprofessional, and sloppy.

[MPScrimshaw]

this reeks of a review the product of only playing 1 or 2 of the games beginning levels. Sounds like the reviewer ran short on time and just assumed the game would be bad based on what he'd seen. They pay you for this?

[MPScrimshaw]

Congradulations xplay, you are the only reviewers ever to think Bastion has a bad story. Did you even finish it?

[BattlefieldJoe97]

GO TO HELL!!!!!

[JeffL1313]

1:00 You know, this would actually be a valid complaint if the narrator wasn't AWESOME.

[ThinkingFingers]

Holy shit. I couldn't even watch this entire video.

[vaporousTippler]

How in the fuck is this still on the air? Or even the internet? If these people were paid more than five cents, it's a travesty.

[favoritefella]

that was a horrible review. You didn't REVIEW THE GAME. Stop trying to be funny.

[OMGitsFMA6666]

This reviewer is fucking stupid.

[Hayashirice911]

The fuck is this shit? You put the quotation around the wrong word by the way, it should be Bastion "Review"

[favoritefella]

@Hayashirice911 llllllllllllooooooooooooolllll­lll +9,001 internet points

[halopunkdud3]

That guys narration and the story is the main reason i bought this game, you make it sound like bad thing?

Fuck, x-play, you don't deserve a television show.

[reetskeetreet]

I don't know what G4 is talking about... this game definitely had one of the best stories for an indie game, especially to how short the game is. And the narrator adds much to the story, and the aweomeness of gameplay. That's why it won 5 "best of" awards, right?

[SolidSnake684]

G4 has always had bad reviews. Almost everybody who works there is an asshole.

[S0LiDsnAke36]

Thanks everyone for the copious amounts of hate comments. Quite interesting to read.

[toastedCarapace]

lolwut? lacking in story? did this guy only play the first twelve seconds or something?

[CaptainLovecraft]

Oh look, another shitty review by G4. Certainly not a surprise by this point is it.

[Coreman53]

Why have they not fired this guy yet....

[LuLzezRoflcopter]

I feel stupid just watching this video...Less bad jokes and just turn your damn volume off and give us a real review.

[kinkarcana1293]

You are an idiot this game was awesome and the narrator adds to the awesome story, I wan Morgen or Adam to redo this review because you brometheus are not funny and did not do this game justice.

[guiltengine85]

Bastion's "lame story" is vastly more entertaining than droves of wannabe Mass Effect, 3rd person console RPGs, all of which involve some inscrutable calamitous bullshit, whether it be with aliens or Russians or "terrorists." The difference lies in presentation and style. Also, this is EXACTLY what I expect "for an indie game" from a small team: QUALITY. You probably skipped all the cutscenes in Max Payne 2 because "nobody cares," didn't you? Great game, terrible review.

[ninhaxable]

what's better than a game that tells you the story as you play?

[RaymondoPerson]

so he says that the story is awful, but doesn't explain why he dislikes it and instead makes terrible jokes?

...do these people actually get paid to play games? SWEET CHRIST.

[Melohalo]

Hey, when you try too hard to be funny, you just end up sounding retarded.

Also you have very poor taste.



[xGothimox]

I remember the old days

2 chairs

3 consoles

and i couldnt have been happier

[plus44addict]

o god, that was bad....cool looking game though

[TheHurriquake]

Just finished the game. It was amazing.

To the reviewer: Go fuck yourself. You aren't funny.

[cornkernal]

this has to be one of the worst reviews i have ever seen...xplay seems to fallen off the map since i stoped watching it

[kaostra]

First and foremost, the narrator does not talk as much as the reviewer is making it out to be, AT ALL. Secondly, (and I understand this is subjective), I found the story to be very rich. Why? Because one of the central elements of the story is the environment and I found the environments rich and full of personality. Also, the reviewers jokes and attitude are not only unprofessional but incredibly distasteful.

[majcyl]

Unfunny, uninformative, unimaginative. Spends more time talk about crap which is ironic since the review complains about the narrator talking crap.

game 4.5/5

review 1/5

[bluegrizzly5]

I'm sorry but the narrator does not talk as much as he try's to make it out to be. Everyone seems to think he says what you do all the time I'm sorry no he doesnt. And the story is great.

[LittleSocrates]

Sounds like most of G4 (and the world) disagrees with the reviewer about the story and the narrator, but my brother won't play the game for the same reason.

[EddyEshkibabble]

I don't hate Blair, I just hate his reviews; he's funny on the spot, but he's just so cheesy during game reviews.

[GisherJohn24]

The Barry white narrator is amazing in this game. I never get tired of him. Very creative writing. Can't believe you are cutting that aspect down.

[WhaaaTF]

you're a cunt reviewer shitwipe fuck knuckle. Shut up about the narator. I got that point as soon as you said it. You are NOT A FUCKING STANDUP SO STOP TRYING TO BE FUNNY YOU CUNT

[egan108]

what a shit review.....

[leonidasx666]

I can't believe these guys:

First they tell us that the story is lame and the narrator talks a lot, AND THEN they go on AOTS and say that it's great and people are complaining the narrator talks a lot... WHAT THA FUCK? That's what you said!

[JokeRPro12]

what a lame review he didnt talked about the game at all !!!

[pointblizzy]

Why is everyone always so hard on Blair!?

[dapickleman33]

@pointblizzy uhh... because he sucks dick... duhh

[MelancholyApples]

i dont like this guy's commentary

[isaac297]

the Video doesn't work, why does it play!?

[tarutso]

Probably one of the poorer game reviews I'ev seen. =(

[theevilm1]

It gets a 4 out of 5 and you stupid fanboys complain. wow.......

[sonyninjablake]

I thought this game looks like an action-RPG classic like the original zelda game that started it all.

[MrTwinbarrel]

Herter! Herter! Hurt her! Kill her now!!! I mean him ha!ha!ha!

[MrTwinbarrel]

The Blair bitch project .....  Brisky bitch uncut edition

[althoir88]

I quickly fowarded to the end of the vid to find out the score when I've had enough with the unfunniness.

[coolmikevids99]

911 views :(

[JSideoftheAlbum]

Blairs good, stop giving the guys so much grief he's pretty good at what he does as a reviewer

[althoir88]

@JSideoftheAlbum I'm sure he can review games, just cut down the lame jokes and give us an actual analysis. The lame attempts at humor are awful.

[JSideoftheAlbum]

@althoir88 I can agree with u there cause when it comes to jokes tht aint he's strongest area

[Lolitakira]

We talked for some time....

[ryukaze20]

Good Game... Just the guy is talking too much!

[Ninjadude973]

Why won't Xplay's damn videos load?

[GoldsteinsBook]

Alright, shut up Blair. Seriously, why do they pay this hack to stand in for Webb or Sessler?

Stopped watching like 10 seconds in.

[neo1234251]

Hmm, a review where the reviewer gives no points as to why i should believe the game deserves the score given, while making really bad jokes the whole time.

From what i've seen, its a good game and the narration brings the game to the next level. While before of what i've seen of the game made me want to pass on it, watching vids of the game actually made me want it.

[HatterMadigan]

@bigdog593

No one cared about review, it still a good mark... 4 out of 5.

Seeing how cynical XPlay can be that is impressive.

We all just really really fucking hate the unfunny reviewer...

Me, personally I wanna crack his skull and eat what's inside, just to end his annoying voice.

[AceSpades17]

I'm glad i've abandon G4 and went with pure machinma and escapist magizine

[HatterMadigan]

Reviewer licks ass crack, game is legendary.

[madden09king305]

stop hateing on the game i rather hear the person voice in the game then your voice and you dont know what the hell your talking about the game is alsome and its beter then some of the other arcade games that been comeing out and everything come on man really toy didnt even talk about the game the game made summer game of year award hate that with you lil 4 out of 5 stars

[shoot232]

dude he hardly talked about the game.

[TyTy4882]

Why does Blair even do reviews? Leave it to Adam and Morgan

[ChuKhanh]

the narration is awesome and u no it.

[symasticsl0vers]

Wow tough crowd, and its Blair, not blare...... ok?

[MegaAnitoon]

One thing I hate about X-Play is that they contradict themselves between previews and reviews. During the preview they said that they like the narration. Now in this review they are saying they don't. What gives?

[eftultimate]

@MegaAnitoon i admit the talking got annoying,its like your little brother constant yapping while playing an game

[xxSnarflesxx]

This review sucked. Don't spend half the video on a lame joke moron. So he talks, does that really matter? This didn't even talk about the game

[rocklegendxl]

this review was so bad the video didnt even load

[HomieG75]

BLARE YOU SUCK! We want more adam and morgan!

[lopezheavy]

I miss the days when it was just Adam and Morgan reviewing these games.

[wongoli]

a game that relates to twitter

[Ameterasuu]

Fuck you the narrator is a savage.

[RevJesseJackson]

Terrible review. Not because of the score, but because it had no content in it at all. I can't tell if this game is good or bad, and The game wasn't explained at all.

[Someguyinthebay]

Not disliking the game, disliking the review. But hell, it's a lot better than IGN.

[ace101guy]

.............................

[poopikins]

There's a review in here somewhere.

[johnnyrosales1990]

that review made me not wanna buy the game

[ovywan08]

if these new xplay guys are gonna give lame ass reviews, at least have some personality while doing them....

[canislupus009]

I remember the good old days where Xplay kept their comedy and their reviews separate... Oh and they actually reviewed well.

[qhari7a7]

thanks for telling us why it deserves a 4/5... wait

[mellowcloudhugger]

I'm I the only motherfucker who wants to fire the reviewer from not just G4 but from the whole commenting gaming world as soon as I first saw and heard him I just wanted to kill myself! I don't like to hate that much but goddammit! X play!

[eojgib321]

we talk for a spell... lol

[Frohstaruus]

Jesus Christ Xplay.

[theBlueSnap]

Yea, the story was crappy - if you are one of those people who has been so heavily brainwashed by the multiplayer revolution that you've forgotten what a good story is.

[lifeinminor]

that was a lot of complaining for a 4/5. lol still, it's definitely worthy of the rating.

[HardcoreGamertag]

GOD WHAT HAPPENED 2 G4

[HomieT23]

@KarmaChameleon033 did you not watch the video to the end? the game got a 4 out of five, why would they not enjoy the game and give it a score like that?

[Haroids]

@MessiGod10 Nothing short of poetry.

[HomieT23]

@KarmaChameleon033 begs the question why people watch "reviews" in the first place, huh?

[yellowtailXD]

So in response to finding the narrator annoying, Blair proceeds to spend 2 minutes making horrible jokes. Classy.

[higoshimaru]

I don't really like Blair. Kinda annoys me

[iStoleFood]

the narrator from bastion is the the new navi from zelda

[osemudiame123]

never have i Sean fellow human being fuck up anything as bad as this guy

[Soloxx715]

The kid rages for a bit...

[bigcritic69]

How the mighty Xplay has fallen

[capucchan8]

@bigcritic69 it's been like 7 years lol

[AwsomeDudeReviews]

Guys, get over it. The story is lame to him, that's his opinion.

[jish55]

I miss Adam and Morgan, this guy is boring to listen to.

[Demon574]

the narrator is a great feature in the game dumbass

[Aerialslayer]

yeah this is a terrible review.

[HatterMadigan]

@#$% the review, this game is one of the best games out right now.

[merock270]

You barely talked about the game, just made lame jokes the whole time...

[HomieT23]

@merock270 I think he summed up this game in a nutshell

annoying narator

action-rpg

crappy story

awesome visuals

cool unlocks

game still got a 4 out of five

[enditend]

lame review -_-.... great game

[treetheoak]

@enditend no shit hence the 4/5

[quicksilver2055]

I dun wanna play Bastard.

[TheRayven760]

Interesting. I'm not sure how I would like a constant narrator blathering on and on about what I'm doing at that particular moment. But I'll download the demo and check it out.

[LuigiWaka]

@TheRayven760 I thought the same thing until i tried the demo. The narrator can be funny at times and the voice isn't annoying. Its more of a story telling voice and it goes well with the game.

[gurabesusama]

looks like something off of facebook........... tragic:(

[YouJussGotCurbed]

@gurabesusama comment fail

[gandop2]

I like video games! ^_^

[reptile8373]

The narrator is awesome. He single-handily carries the plot. Without him you would never know what's going on.

[bigcbuddha2]

2 viewers are weird

[Venezu3la99]

YAY BLAIR! f the haters. 

[gnuntlg]

sorry but i have to do this...

FIRST!

awesome looking game though.

[djhavok19]

@gnuntlg Fail!!! they beat you to it LOL

[reptile8373]

@gnuntlg sorry but i have to do this...

FAIL!

[thevidstoyreviewer]

i am the fist one to view it