The Jesus Weight Loss Diet!

[TheAroon113]

yep.....thumbs up if you are watching this 2012 :D

[TaylerJay3]

phill i freaking love you. even these old videos are amazing. :)

[BreakPics]

is he atheist?

[muahhahahaha43]

only eat when jesus tells you to?

theyre gonna starve

[jwalshson08]

i click every one ur vids not to give u views but to give u thumbs down deuche

[Pedofied]

@jwalshson08 He doesn't care He's the 8th most subbed on youtube

[NinjaPotato01]

Did he just make fun of Smosh? :'(

[supervideowatcher500]

is this season 1 of the pds? well i love it. phil was awesome when he was young and now he is my favorite youtuber XD

[emilovesyouxp]

Jesus really didn't start Christmas or easter. They are actually Pagan holidays.

[sskvideo1]

u mke fun of every popular youtube person i find it hilarious

[johnholby]

Yes Jesus can help you lose weight, however if you accept Jesus as Your Saviour He is your ticket to heaven and I have heard rumours that the food In Heaven is delicious without any concern of putting on weight.

God bless you John 3:16

[DJFG85]

I like SXEPHIL

[SuperNoobTroll]

fart and make us take a whiff

[PessimisticAshley]

mmm. I think  Jesus REALLY wants me to eat that doughnut.

[MaxHolt]

The Bible says "whatsoever is put in front of you, therefore EAT"

[gaupaenazul]

Lol, Defranco your mental!!!! Wicked lol thanks for your e-mail you nutter lmao!

[7248948moo]

Honest people on the jesus diet will starve :(

[hppypapillon]

This is the most stupid thing i have ever heard!Why nobody says something about the big god Budha that was levitating with his 300 Kilograms?Relegion is so simple,respect the Holy Trinity,pray for the others like you would talk to your best friend,believe in Jesus .Some human beeings are stupid and they complicate everything.

[Tetragramz]

@hppypapillon  Not really, The stupidest thing is people denying the Islam is an actual religion.

[Heeeeeeermione]

i like puppies

[scalliwags5]

I suppose if you starve yourself to the point of hallucination, Jesus may conceivably pop up and tell you to eat.

[cmk1964]

Great diet. Jesus has been telling me to eat all the time, and I've put on a load of weight. But that's fine, coz Jesus loves me just the way I am, or rather, as he has made me.

[XanhalacIsNowCalahan]

I live right next to Grand Rapids. Not really sure what's with this floride or whatever crap, but luckily we get well-water, so my simple brain can remain simple. :)

[Potguy88]

Americans complaining about petrol prices gets on my tits.

We are up to £1.20 a bloody litre over here. Thats about $5. Shut up.

[Potguy88]

@Potguy88 A gallon that is.

[TheReformBegins]

but beans and eggs = win ..

[psychopicasso]

Capt. Cankles!!! Lmao

[gaupaenazul]

Hello You're Hott and very funny I love your accent eventhough you maybe gay but if you ain't mail me bitches lol ha ha ha ha ha. P.s also im an english chick oxford gal.

[davBIGHOUSE]

@gaupaenazul do you really think sxephil will answer your retarded comment

[JLuvHK2386]

why arnt you on TV yet your Fucking Hysterical!!!!!!! Nice delivery

[Ravenmongoose]

@WoWcrazzyy

How horrid of you.

[ccxygoz]

I like that diet. Imagine the amount of christians we'll thin out.

Sometimes you gotta cut the tardlets from the herd and let em beat themselves to death.

[JaySweez3y]

I'm sure Jesus told that 230 lb. black bear to eat too. You know, the one that chased that 26 year old, 5 month pregnant woman into a street that subsequently got her hit by a car. Yeah, Jesus is really looking out for the well fare of the human population...

[HeatherOfOz]

Not funny.

[porkyo123]

@HeatherOfOz Boring & Gayish

[daveandchad]

This is a good show. To bad your stopping it on 4/22/10 ;(

[Digitalis17894]

@TheXXxOWNEDxXx

*sigh* I honestly hope you are joking.

[Nepthu]

Wow, he'll make a good announcer one day when he learns not to be a smart ass, disrespectful, jerk.

[Klatch411]

Sooo, no Jesus must mean that people must take responsability for their owne fat? Naaa..... easier to blame a lard ass on a fable.

[blarney501]

founder of "thin within" Judy Halliday says, and i quote, " Slim is how God ment us to be". what a stupid, ignorant cunt she is.

[DizzyDior12]

Woah. I live in Grand Rapids, lol.

[thewhulk]

Only eat when Jesus tells you 2.... WTF does he care? he would not tell littleTimmy (age 6) it was a bad idea to cross the road when the lights red. what the fuck makes you think hes gona give his opinion on a pizza!!?

[PoptartHeero]

@thewhulk r u sticking up for Jesus? or...

[BriannaReneeHoward]

"...but wait whose jesus?"

[cheese89145]

>:( shut up now

[xXMichelleCaseyXx]

wait,..who's jesus

[Acrimonator]

A freaking hippy... ^^

[LadyMuckk]

@xXMichelleCaseyXx I know, I was confused about this myself :¬S

[xhellabentx]

nonbelievers be crazy

[LiveLaughLove6487]

Heh..."Captain Cankles" lol

[TheSickHumanBeing]

aww.... i liked untracable.

[pearl4453]

Jeffery410410 or something like that:

Umm... I believe in Jesus and stuff, but do YOU have any info tht proves he WAS alive?

[Linkinparknice]

Jesus of Nazareth existed,that should be obvious to anyone that has taken history.

The religious question is whether or not he rose from the dead.

[tarantulady]

I.. think you may have slept through history. : / Not proven, dude. Go back and read a book.

[lonewolfM16]

@Linkinparknice well there has been suggestions that he is a combineing of several diffrent charecters such as the greek demi god son of apollo who brought people back from the dead but was killed by zeus because of hades, most agree he existed but several things about his life such as miracles resurection and even whether or not he claimed to be god/the son of god

[lonewolfM16]

@Linkinparknice thats argueable since there is little extra biblical evidence for him and the romans have no record of him, all the same he probably sorta existed like santa since st.nicholas existed but they took pagan and inuit tradtions and made santa sorta like i think they toook a man who was a religious icon added apollos son and mithera and got jesus

[Lipitorforall]

Well, that's somewhat arguable according to my world religions class instructor. Truth is, the whole story may have originally been a allegory of the "Jesus" within as the esoteric mystery schools taught at initiation since a lot of the Jesus story is copied from other earlier stories including miracles, 3 day death,and resurrection. There are 3 sources which speak of Jesus, pliny the younger,tacitus (recounting simply what the xtrians believe,and Josephus (which is a forgery)

[Catnip645]

Jesus was real, unfortunately what he preached isn't.

People who still deny that Evolution happened ARE ignorant.

[jazzvixen]

I didn't know people had appliance-fetishes.

People can be so creative..

& scary/crazy.

[hateutoo100]

Hey everea-body !

Do yourself a large favor and watch this very new and very special new movie,FREE, on YouTube. It is called:

"Fall of The Republic: The Presidency of Barak H. Obama"

It isn't political in any way,(no right or left leaning opinion or agenda) In fact, it is completely factual, using ONLY public knowledge.

JUST. WATCH. Then have an opinion, please. It won't bore you, and I PROMISE you will be grateful afterwards.

Thank You Fo Realz Steve

[gilraen690]

HEY PHIL.

LISTEN.

(and I know it's a couple days since caps lock day but I have to type this in caps, so forgive me)

Here in Norway (one of the world's largest producers of raw oil used to manufacture gasoline) we pay 13 CROWNS for one LITRE of gas.

That's NINE DOLLARS PER GALLON.

And we're an OIL NATION so technically we should have the lowest prices of all.

SO QUIT YOUR BITCHIN'!

[hateutoo100]

Too bad Jesus never existed and isn't real. You can ignore the facts, but, sadly or not, Jesus is just the latest in a long line of mythical sun-gods.

Now, instead of praying at me or whatever, go and liberate your mind. You got the intrawebs, you can learn and seek knowledge full-time here.

It doesn't hurt, you know. The Big Picture is so much bigger and more divine then your silly Jesus. Just look and you will see.

[Colbys1337vids]

Actually.... religion is clearly a crutch for the weak minded, but it is proven that Jesus is real. NOT proven that he was special or powerful but he was real.

[hateutoo100]

ACTUALLY, Colby, Jesus is PROVEN to NOT be real. I am tired of being civil with the Jesus-cult worshipers, so here I go:

You are a complete fucking IGNORANT idiot! You just commented that Jesus WAS real in some way, well guess what?!!? YOU are the first person in the history of history to be able to PROVE he is real, and that means your an idiot talking out your ASS!!!

A MAN, or a GOD, named, "JESUS" has never been PROVEN to live, you dumb shit!!

IF I'm wrong (I'm not) then PROVE it.

[Colbys1337vids]

Look it up you ignorant bitch. I never said that jesus was special or powerful. He was however alive and a real person. IT IS IN HISTORY BOOKS. Look it up before you make a complete and utter fool out of yourself. It is clear that Religion and believing in it is a crutch for the week minded.

[KyolaKyian]

Have you vetted said history books, or are you just following them with blind faith?

[Linkinparknice]

Speaking of weak* minded,who are you to come on here and criticize others?

[FilledCircle]

hes sxephill didnt you see the intro hes not sexy sexy phil hes s x e it was in a song how could you forget

[jeffrey41010]

hey retard

THERE ARE PEOPLE TODAY NAMED JESUS (just pronounced differently) AND HE DID EXIST. i dont worship him. but i know basic history

but how is he proven to not be real. may i see some evidence, maybe a link somthing?

do research before you call BS

[KyolaKyian]

Jesus was actually fabricated after the stories of other gods and deities, such as Horus, Krishna, Buddha, Mithra, Dionysus, and others.

[tarantulady]

YES! THANK YOU KYOLAKYIAN!

And wtf are these fictitious "history books" that people are quoting?

[tarantulady]

Dude... legitimate argument fail. How the hell do you ask someone to prove that something doesn't exist? o_o No more nyquil.

[jeffrey41010]

have you done research to see if he was or wasent real, or did you just see my comment, disagreed and then spout your opinion?

[tarantulady]

@jeffrey41010

Back it up. Post references. Real ones. I'll be glad to read where you get your enlightenment from. ps- references are pure FACT, not opinions.

[jeffrey41010]

well i dont belive in god but im just trying to get people to research.

[dwobneb]

hay fuck u phil and ur cheap ass petrol lol only joshin :-)

[luicho0303]

you know what my friend Jesus loves u, and he forgave u already isn't that great that even do u ofend somebody u will have to say it in front of the Lord

[unclelance]

haha you're amazing. i love your sarcasm. great speaking voice too btw.

[caleb08wood]

haha. dude this video is over a year old, and if you really want attention, why dont you post your fake hate on a more popular video? just a tip...

[phunnyplace]

hahaha nice attempt at a insult how original -_-

[Lemoneyellie]

I like you and Im a christian! (Y)

[Drsatan9]

ROFL eat when jesus tells u to lol when is that? never!!!!???? omg lol anorexia much

[ncfwhitetigress]

yeah i'm wondering the same thing

[chrp0907]

I'm a catholic and I respect other beliefs, but you can't say that prayers are not being answered if you don't pray.

[slay3r43v3r]

hahahahahahaha nice one.......sooooooooooo true!!!!

[Fatsackofballs500]

Your a dick for saying that im an atheist but show some respect

[stunningcharles]

the lady that made the faith based diet lives 5 min. away from me and she was involved in a bunch of other shit like making her own church thats very cult-ish

[flyingdude66]

Dude, R U GAY? A couple times in there  you sounded like a fag.

[gbadude3sd]

I love that cute little song at the end :)

[kohonaalchemist109]

dude wow that was harsh on jesus.....

[theprocess04]

lol fuck you

[Sn00pyGRL]

ROFL!!! Hmm.. yeah, you'd definitely lose a lot of weight if you only eat when Jesus tells you to. Mainly 'cause dead people don't speak.. so he'd never tell you to eat.. anything.. ever! on 2nd thought, people who go on absolutely-no-eating diets tend to die, so no it's not a good idea to wait for someone who died 2000 years ago to tell you when to eat! So, go Phil! Thanks for pointing out the insanity in people! :)

[chordsandcolour]

lmao, captain canckles.

[BroskiSpeaks]

i didnt relly like phil around this time

new stuff and old stuff was the best (Y)

[Alekoo000]

The bit about gas price was just lame, man.. you're a cool dude and all but every country in Europe has high gas prices so the "beans on bla bla" part was just not cool on your part. And you can't say that Spain, Britain, Italy etc. are poor countries :). Nice show. sxePhil FTW

[vastedda99]

Jesus? Yeah.....I know him.Wanna meet him?...Yeah..you do? No problem..just three doors down ,dude! Ring the bell that says Gonzalez...hope you speak some Spanish...His English is not all that great! LOL!

[TomasPaalman]

Word of the day: Captain Cankles!

[Alexmummstheword]

the best part is ohhh wait he does! it is called free speech.... funny thing huh works in strange mysterious ways lol and it is called humor.btw

[tunawrangler1]

wow if you only get to eat when jesus tells you to, i doubt he's gonna let you eat anything, why should you get to eat when all these starving kids arent?

[slytherin0queen]

tunawrangley1

i'm an athiest myslef , but you don't have a right to call christians looney toons they're entiltled to there opinion , just as you are , and saying about got letting children die in africa , is a terrible argument , you're a terrible atheist you have to have respect for anothers relgion , they're not delusion they just belive what they belive , as i belive there is no god , they belive there is , you can't insult them that's just a terrible argrument ,

[whipyouwitawetnoodle]

wow.... haha i am christian but i respect other people's belief systems and its really cool to see an atheiest who isn't calling christians crazy! it gets old haha so thanks!!

[slytherin0queen]

Haha no problem ,, When atheists are just likke

FUCK CHRISTIAnS DUMB FUCKS and shit

i'm like really ? your pathetic , there not stupid they just belive in something that you don't they give the rest of us atheists who can actually THINK a bad rap ;p

[AngelxRebornXx]

have u tried all those fad diets?...."omg i have!" aahaha

[nekoattack96]

What if Jesus tells you to eat, like, constantly?

[konothecook]

then you're insane...

[Timmehbob]

@nekoattack96 Better yet, what if your mexican Gardener named Jesus hates you, and tells you McDonalds is the cure?

[SevenIHL]

@nekoattack96 Then it's Budah playing pranks on you.

[afz902k]

@nekoattack96 this happened to my aunt Eunice.

[inpachi123]

Your right Jesus never answeres prayers! Wheres my 20 new cars? Wheres my trillion dollars? Where is my kitty cat that ran away when i was at my friends house or so my parents say but i saw a red stain on the drive way! Where is all the food for all them africans who are starving.. Who i am damn sure pray every day.... DAMN YOU JESUS!!!!

[tryewa]

youre parents drove over youre cat?! damn!

[Llawliet246]

Probably because your prayers aren't sincere, you don't believe he will actually do that, and the prayers are completely selfish.

Besides, the answer doesn't always have to be 'yes'. It can be 'no' too. So he probably answered 'no' if you were sincere and believed He could actually do that. Otherwise He didn't even hear you.

[urahararocking]

Think he was jokin' man.

[Llawliet246]

I like to pretend I don't get jokes to piss people off : P

[VietTeaBoyz]

God answers in Yes, No, or Wait, therefore, it's a win-win situation, the so called "god" wins and the person who prays, because they believe there's proof god still exists then.

That's why I gave up on Religeon O_o

[handsandleet]

what idiot told you that garbage

[Llawliet246]

'Garbage'? That's your opinion. 'Idiot' as well.

I don't actually remember. I actually think I read it in the Bible.

Anyway, I was replying to somebody who said they asked for about a million dollars worth of stuff and didn't get it so thus, God isn't real. Even an atheist would have to admit such reasoning is faulty on so many levels. He might have been joking but I really have nothing better to do right now so.... I replied.

Lol.

I can't wait for school to start next week....

[monsonct]

Missing Cat + stain in the driveway...LOL

[roxychick1001]

hahah captain cankles!

[HOMETOWNmatt]

i love untraceable

[ThEUnKnOwN696]

......ZULTAN!!!!!!!!!!

[koopa2222]

I though the jesus diet was tying yourself to a cross and starving yourself!

[videowatcher200920]

jesus does anwser ur prayers. but ur still cool

[LirrenShentai]

Fluoride also makes strong teeth. I had fluoride in the water as a child, and my teeth, according to my dentists, are pretty much indestructible.

[SanguineNL]

im sure im able to help you change that with mr.baseballbat =)

[LirrenShentai]

ROFL. I said "pretty much."

[SanguineNL]

So i can't smah your teeth in? :(

[chickenpun]

i'd like to test that...

[Lobsterboyman]

Heres how you lose weight, eat when you're hungry, untill you are full. Don't stuff your face you fat bastard, there is a reason you get hungry.

[twilighter4life88989]

yo, don't diss jesus!! >:(

[LirrenShentai]

Easy, pal. Don't take what he says seriously. He does it for laughs...and if you get a rise out of it, then you're just proving his point that Christians are nuts. I know they're not (I am one) but the world doesn't like us right now....so staying low is the way to go.

[JohnFinnigan1]

the advertisement is "The Gabriel Method. Lose weight without dieting." lol

[LeslieEllen93]

was good as!

[CSD7038]

hmm, "but why whould Jesus care about me losing weight, isn't he busy not answering people's prayers?"

good satire or rant on the basically using-Jesus-as-a means-to-an-end fanatics shallow community sxephil

[ToxicMindJunk]

LMFAO!!!

NOO!!

[SicSociophobiac]

Only eat when Jesus tells you to. Something constantly tells me to eat small Asian boys, but I don't. I would fail at following that diet. :\

[CanadaRocker11]

wtf? that makes no sense.

[mikeinlasvegas]

ive always wanted to eat a cat but never did......

yet

[zaramelyan]

2:23 made me laugh so much! XD

[MindfreakCM]

i love smosh, but I still like this video

[FanaticalAtheist]

I think that gets the Darwin award. Eat only when Jesus tells you. If only all fundies did this. Less food wasted and less stupid people. Yay!

[i1killed2god3]

lol..Jesus told me to run..so I ran...Jesus told me to symbolically eat his heart..um..no. lool

[sgtank123]

i wonder what sxe stands for..sexy?

[no1pictures1please]

He pronounces it as sexy.... but I can't help but to think straight edge everytime I look at it o-e

[geminighost3]

yah think?

[subtitan7]

straight-edged=sxe

[scoutcamboy1992]

the westboro baptist church must hate this guy

[madant82]

which people pour beans on their eggs? I didn't get that.

[hellbentsayer]

british people

[no1doesitlikeme]

Since when? :L

[Oricalkos123]

Since Americans say Britain is extremely expensive, and we think everything in America is uber cheap.

[gmss6988]

okok u went too faar on this one!! the one thing u never do is mock god..... i dont find this funny is any way but god bless u anyways...

[thom123465]

fuel in britain is a joke

[NoTimeForComplacency]

Absolutely! I've lived in America for a while now but when I went back on a trip to England the fuel prices blew my mind!

[TurkiyeCumhurbaskani]

if you wipe your ass with bible you can lose weight faster

[travisboy1es]

or you just shove it right in your asshole and you instantly loose 50 pounds

[narutosramenbuddy]

but you can only shart it out when jesus wants you to

[christophorM]

I see why they say silence is golden now.... Kiss the son ,lest he be angry and you be destroyed on your way,for His wrath can flare up in a moment. ps 2:12.

[potsy891]

uh oh....i drink flouride..

[chegothy]

50 cents for a gallon! Poor you. Try buying fuel in Britain!

[Michele2luv]

"But how?!" i luv it lol :)

[carse101]

captain canekalls!!!!!

[andrewbaldock22]

i want to see that movie really badly