Shit Baristas Say

[gabeslover]

there's a latte dying on the bar... lol

[Brigid777]

Oh my god the advertisement on the side says "Best eXpresso machines." Why?!

[Bucketchico]

@Brigid777 It's language sensitive... Mine says "Coffee machine" (but in spanish).

[ninjahead]

funny video, but I'm more interested in how attractive this man is.

[memeplanet]

I only wish this video included how many times in a day you have to ask customers "WHAT SIZE?!" drink they would like.

"I'll have a coffee" (three second courtesy pause) "...what size?" "oh, uhhh... large."

"I would like a caramel latte, please" (four second courtesy pause) "...what size?!" "oh, small."

My favorite:

"I'll have a tea." "...what kind?" "oh, Rooibos." ".....WHAT SIZE??!!"

[sciamhach]

@memeplanet after a year of that nonsense, I stopped asking and just gave them a large. Nobody ever complained so, *shrug*.

[tashahasfun]

I admit... I say some of these things. K... a lot of these things.

[paradigmshift7758]

@tashahasfun It's more of a problem of how you say that if you say it.

Just don't be an ass.

[tashahasfun]

@paradigmshift7758 thanks for your advice... I would have died in ten minutes without it. You seem very intelligent :)

[urmyplaygroundluv]

Hahaha yessss!! My fave: "pffff, DECAF MOCHA".

[dempseyef]

someone really needs to mention the 10,000 per day people that ask for espresso because they need to "wake up"...

I <3 this video.

[TheRealDannyE]

"There's a latte dying on the barrrr!"

What barista doesn't get pissed as hell when their amazing drink is just sitting there unkempt and slowly ruining the art on top? Seriously. GET UR DAMN DRINK PPL. ;O

[26095]

Hey!! This is Kopplin's!!

[sandraleelawson]

I love New Order!

[wasabirock]

@sandraleelawson *Joy Division

[jackdeath]

I guess if I walked in there and asked for a *double-double*, then his head would explode. Barista pieces everywhere.

[kylehlogan]

"Weird, I have this shirt, I didn't even know it was a band."

You'd think that was a common saying with the amount of people you see wearing Unknown Pleasures shirts.

[KidAeon]

Jim from The Office.

[8lig]

What a bleak life.

[heldrt]

Also needs:

Customer 1: Doppio, please.

Barista: You mean a double espresso.

Customer 2: Double espresso, please.

Barista: You mean a doppio.

[26095]

@heldrt You are brilliant.

[vlogandy]

1:22 I have actually heard that irl… although I don't know if the person was a barista or not.

[veloparrot]

Ian you freaking killed it. Fuck all the haters, Best coffee in america.

[iMitchyB]

DAMN IT! One more comment! "There's a latte dying on the bar"

Why did I never say that before?! Forget my "There's a latte chillen on the bar" comments.

[iMitchyB]

"There's no X in espresso!"

Hahaha, fricken perfect!

[justinwescoatsanders]

This would almost be ok if this guy wasn't overacting so much.

[annenyctheoriginal]

@justinwescoatsanders I think the overacting was intentional

[MyOnlyWeakness]

it's embarrassing how accurate this is

[annenyctheoriginal]

I just checked out Guidance Counselor and they sound a lot like Suicide...very cool. p.s. the "Pffffft" at 1:06 is priceless.

[fishandflowers]

Perfect. Just perfect.

[michellezaffino]

Love this BUT 4B still needs to get wifi

Last time I was there I worked on all my offline stuff

then went to the Summit to send it

I was dangerously wired for my dinner date

[veloparrot]

@michellezaffino -- NEVER! Long live 4B!

[IronChefDesi]

You forgot "Sorry, I don't pour espresso over ice. It shocks the espresso"

[dawgcatching]

Hilarious! These guys are incredible baristas, and super nice (unlike the video) in real life as well, although their life more or less revolves around coffee. Probably as nice a crew as I have ever met at a 3rd-wave coffee shop. Check out their shop Four Barrel in San Francisco when you can. Probably my favorite roasters south of the 43rd parallel!

[brindabellaoffroad]

Just sounds like shit faggots say.

[annenyctheoriginal]

@brindabellaoffroad it's insightful observations like this that keep me coming back to the internet again and again

[VelveteenSaint]

@brindabellaoffroad Homophobia sure makes you sound smart.

[killerwill55]

oh my god.. that kettle is like.. 100 bucks

[iMitchyB]

This is epic!

[BigShagger2]

luv uuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

[zoneuman]

"I do some bar backing shifts at a speakeasy" - BEST

[PoetryAddict8]

HAHAHAHA DLFJDSOFJDKL

This is so true

"here's the decaf mocha" #eyeroll

[annenyctheoriginal]

There is not one thing in here that is not ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS and ABSOLUTELY TRUE

[FM145]

This is the first and only example of necessity for that Internet block bill.

[alphanumeric17]

"Where's my washed out album?" Translates to "I have ED"

[modernloverlover]

it's so sad but this is my life. i say all of this daily.