are you kidding me ...this video has harlot written all over it. i cant stand listening to this person..people wake up. all of this violates Gods laws.. this person on this video needs a close relationship with the lord. she keeps talking about in today age. this is seriously a spirit of jezebel... dont fall for it.
We had a dead marriage for 20 yrs. Mainly because we were completely incomparable, Why did we get married? Because we were both lonely with no other prospects. Now there is a teenage son who needs the home stability to get college grants & loans. I have been lonely in this marriage for so long craving love & affection yet have never cheated. But now we had the talk. She knows it's dead & says I can date but we can't do the paperwork until our son is set.
It sounds like it will be a joint divorce, we don't have issues over property, we don't need a lawyer. I want to date but I have 2 concerns. It seems unanimous that women will not date men who are married & even possibly newly divorced plus the divorce is like a dishonorable discharge in the military. Secondly what if the courts are notified that I am dating & having sex outside the marriage while still married, I think that is illegal & might bite me in the butt in the courts.
No dating a married man he is still married I don't care if he is separated or just lieing to you I don't care if the other party don't want a divoice or u don't have the money you are still tied legally with that person so that mean I will be the third wheel in that marriage and first of all u can't put your self in that situation God has your husband around the corner and if you settle to be someone second choice then you can't complain when he does you the same way
Its TO many people in this world to stick around & wait for a MF to get a divorce! If you know he/she is married, KEEP IT MOVIN. Thats sum bull & hell naw that "lets just be friends thing" is sum bull 2. I knew a MF I found out was separated for 10 years & tried to holla at me. Once I found out it was DUECES! No friends, no u cant call me, no u cant text me, no we aint cool. 10 years dawg? c'mon now. People need to step up the screening process & find out EARLY 2avoid feelings getting in the way
No wait until their divorce, and even then their still coming with baggage from their last relationship, and you need to ask your self a few question like, Am I the rebound chick? or what problem will he bring with him to the relationship , meaning is he a cheater and what problem did he give her and vise versa, cause he could have cheat, beated, use and abuse her, and if she did it to him you best to believe he coming with baggage.
Wow this is a good topic that I personally know too well unfortunantly. I got back with my ex whom at the time was suppose to be seperated and going through a divorce about 3 yrs ago. Things were going fine that is until I found out I was expecting. Things went from worse to horrible!! Long story short he ended up reconciling with his wife, dismissed, and denyed me & my child. This is a 37 yr old man whom I have known for over 8 yrs. I learned a very good life lesson!! Don't do what I did ladies
I don't know how I missed this. First of all your hair is GAWJUS. - - Okay, I totally am not down with dating someone seperated or awaiting divorce. It opens up the door for a lot of foolishness and if the ink is not dry - no ma'am. Have 'em holla at cha when them strings went snip...TRUST that's baggage no one needs or wants.
Wow, this vid is a God send!! I have a guy that is separated from his wife interested in dating me! He was very forward in telling me he was in the process of divorce, and I told him cool BUT until the divorce is final we could only be FRIENDS! Like previous comments, I don't want get caught up in the drama & I don't want to be his rebound chick! I'm looking to marry someday (hopeless romantic) -- he right now on marriage is not the most optimistic one!
If you are in a shitty marriage & neither person cares about the other or if she or he leaves or cause they can't stand being around each other so they stay in separate parts of the house BUT they DO still live together because its convenient for the time being. I think you should at least live in 2 different places all together then it would be ok to date but in my situation well, I am looking for a way out, but I am the type that has to have another relationship now. I don't like being alone.
Ateyaaa I Know Exactly The "Celebrity" Couple You Are Comparing To. Haha I Feel Ya Girl!!! They Should Not Call This "Celebrity Person" A Homewrecker Because They Do Not Know This "Celebrity's" Personal Situation.
I'm dating a seperated man and I will say...DON"T DO IT! Although she was the one who cheated and has two children by her lover, she refuses to cooperate with the paperwork, child visitiation or anything else for that matter. Constant drama, not to mention I think my guy secretly wishes he could somehow have his old life back the way things were minus the new mouths to feed, baby daddy, and the knowledge he's married to a skank. Oh, and of kids blame me.
@mszeni22 They are not his kids though. In any case, there are tons of vids out there about bad women and their cheating ways. Its no longer just the man.
I'm a wife who is separated from my husband and waiting for him to answer court papers, I believe people need to be up front about what is happening regarding their divorce
I find too many separated couples lie about a lot of stuff to the person their dating and that starts the drama, me and my husband is over and I have no plans of starting over with him.and don't have a boyfriend.
Some separated people still have sex and they need to stop or call the divorce off.
I am separated. My husband and I both have dated and he's been in a relationship for a year. I would say wait until the divorce is final cuz you don't want to be pulled into other people's drama. My husband and I was seeing each other for the past 8 months and he has brought up dumping the girlfriend and us reconciling off and on. Separation doesn't mean divorced and it should be a time for the married couple to figure out what to do, not involve other people. It's a mess!
@mamasrad you playing the FOOL!! there is no problem in yalls relationship other than him being up front and real with you!!! HE WANT HIS CAKE AND A FORK AND HE WANTS TO EAT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU A FOOL FOR THAT ONE!
Girl, I feel you. I had a friend who was dating and [eventually] living w/ a married man. He was legally separated. However, I would always say...'He's cool, but none the less...he's married.' He did get the divorce. They got married...and are currently separated.
To me, it's okay to be friends, talk, and make plans for the future. It's even okay to go out, while keeping a certain distance, but I would not be on a girlfriend/boyfriend level until the divorce is a final.
Not alot of times ALL the time Ateyaaa if he cheated on his wife he will cheat on the next one. Remember this was his wife, his better half if he would do that to her u crazy if u think he won't do it to u. Lfye said it best.Yes it's always best to wait
Not alot of times ALL the time Ateyaaa if he cheated on his wife he will cheat on the next one. Remember this was his wife, his better half if he would do that to her u crazy if u think he won't do it to u. Lfye said it best.
what is wrong with waiting (time has change) but Gods word is still the same today yesterday and forever that the difference between real chritians and fake one its called adultery and if you get caught up in that at the wrong time there is a place for you Icorinthians 6:9. this world in in for a wide awakening
yeah. wait until he's legally divorced. that separation period is meant to be sure they even want to divorce. will not be doing anythign with a separated man EVER again. lesson learned.
Ladies need to protective themselves. Guy could say that he is getting a divorce and he isn't. To avoid all that drama, wait for those papers and if it is meant to be it will happen. It is not okay to date a married person; you are complicating your life and deserve so much more.
Wow, well I've been in the situation so I say you should wait until its official. Plus you do not know the whole situation, you may not know the wife's side or the husbands side which in the ebd could put you in a real bad position. And that person took vows and i beleive if you really want a divorce you can get one!
It depends on the situation. I DON'T find it to be wrong to DATE someone who is seperated but I DO think it's wrong to have a RELATIONSHIP. If I met a man who is seperated I would seek him only as a FRIEND, I prefer NOT to be with previously married men, maybe if both people spend time on the dating scene and reflecting they may realize how hard it was to find each other. But only date/friendship NO relationships until divorce is final and after they had some "me" time first. Keep it simple.
Separated - no because there is still room for the 2 to work it out....also separated isn't legally divorced so technically have relations with a separated individual is cheating.
Divorced - depends on how long they been divorced or what the situation is...if the individual didn't want the divorce (the partner did)...i would think they weren't ready for a relationship - a serious one at that. I would ask that person 1000 questions.
I dated a man who was separated....DON'T DO IT!!!!!! Big Drama and he went back to his wife. (Claimed he couldn't leave because of his son) Wait for the divorce. I had to do some soul searching after we broke up, it WAS NOT ok and I wouldn't recommend it. Although we dated after they separated, it was a disaster. Not a good look and it really could have embrassed me and my family had anyone found out. But God stepped in and showed me I was better than the situation.
the are committing adultery and the chance is they will not end up married you because they just getting out of a long time relationship and just want to see what out their not good for someone that looking for a little more. And they will not tell you that at first the wait after you get use to them or falling in love with them
i mean you should wait until the divorce is final cause it can cause problems and the person who has the Girlfriend or boyfriend will not feel comfortable to date anyone that has not finalize the divorce
i mean you should wait until the divorce is final cause it can cause problems and the person who has the gf or bf will not feel comfortable to date anyone that has not finalize the divorce
Divorce should be final. then you can procede. but if your freshly divorced, you sure don't need to moving into a new one because 99 percent of the time they are going to have the same problems in the new new that you had in the past relationship.
" what god has yoked together let no man put apart" It's is wrong to invade someones marriage whether its a failed marriage or not! It's wrong to demolish any chance of them rekindling their marriage and even if they're not going to rekindle anything it's wrong for you to step into their situation. You're having no respect for the value of marriage you're having no respect for them or for yourself. It's wrong.
I feel you should wait until the divorce is final. you could be setting yourself up for a world of hurt if they decide to reunite. Also you could be standing in the way of the reuniting of something God has put together. You know, let no man put asunder? I won't be touching it with a 20 foot pole!
Ahh finally got a chance to watch this. To me, I don't think it's right to date a maried ma period, or woman, especially if there are kids involved cause the kids will always look the boy/girlfriend as an intruder and "the reason behind the seperation".
I think it's rude to go date someone else while still seperated, casue that doesn't honour the oaths of marriage. a seperation should always be given its outmost best of rekindling, not running away to another wo/man's hands giving up.
In my opinion, separated, divorced, in both case, it's the same, you made a promise u didn't take. the difference is only a matter of time & papers to sign. Reality is not always easy. but when you fought for ur couple and didn't solve things out, maybe time has come to just let go; Why keep lying to urselves and be unhappy? don't let the guy/girl control ur life. you should just go on and rebuild urself. if he doesn't be with u, don't force him, coz am sure someone else on earth does.
This is a HOT TOPIC. My grandparents have the same kind of relationship as yours Ateyaaa and like my grandmother always says, "DO UNTO OTHERS, as you would have them do unto you," because life is long and things have a way of coming back around and lingering issues only fester into bigger garbage. If you are getting someone else's husband, then you aren't getting much.
Why go to the junk yard, when there are brand new cars on the lot? Some people go the "junkyard" route, but it's not for me.
Its not ok! I think a lady is not considered a lady if she is going chasing after a married man. Have some respect for your self. Ya know no one can help love or the emotions that fall into a relationship, I think you should be aware of that and say hey look youre a married man but my feelings have gone to far lets eiether wait and just be friends.I mean I wouldnt chase a married man seperated or not. But like i said BE BIG ENUF TO REMOVE YO SELF!
u should never date someone if they are married period u should wait til that person is divorced just cause people in tha limelight do it everybody else thinks its ok but its not if two people till share tha same last names they are still married .
Alicia keys married swiss beats and I agree I look at her in a totally different light. I think they rush the marriage only because she was pregnant. Mashonda should have tore into her I'm sorry.
I agree with rm1483. It is best to wait. I am not dating someone on the rebound, chances are they could get back together. Plus like ateya said, "What goes around comes around." If the state says he or she is still married, GUESS WHAT, he or she is still married. I am sorry, a woman is not seen as a lady if she goes after a married man. I know its a double standard, but its the truth. I am not desperate. Thus, I would not go after a married man. However, this is just my opinion
I would definately wait until the person is divorced they cant possibly be ready for a new relationship if the paperwork isnt even done yet! I feel a person isnt emotionally ready for a new relationship. Also once a cheater always a cheater... if he cheated on someone while he or she was persuing you then thats what they will do to you as well.
I think a person should wait, especially if the situation is a very messy one i.e. if kids are invovlved or if there is property to claimed. Also the circumstances under which they are separated is something to evaluate. Did that person cheat? Were they emotionally or physically abusiive? There are a lot of things to consider.
My mom and dad have been separated since I was born and the divorce wasn't finalized until I was 21 years old lol. They were not interested in rekindling anything however since he was in one state and we were in another AND the fact that my mom does not plan to ever marry again. He cheated and left and we moved forward. I don't feel like the divorce needs to be finalized in order to date. Now I personally would just get get the divorce so that everything can be in order.
you should wait until it is final because you never know if they can reconcile. by having a bf or gf it just clouds your judgement and you may go ahead with the divorce just because of that person's influence.
I say LEAVE IT ALONE!!! Too much pressure goes into meeting someone when there are unresolved issues how can you dedicate yourself 2 something new when the OLD hasn't been rectified.The 2nd person, new love interest, is left hanging. This is RIDICULOUS & lets you know the potential for this 2 happen 2 YOU in case you get married. This is FOOLISHNESS.
Wait for the paperwork, when the ink dries then let's see what it is. Some ppl get new mates b/c they don't wanna be alone while the divorce pends
Never get involved with a Married man or "separated" man neither first you need to ask yourself why in the world would you even want to put yourself in that kind of Drama for? are you that desperate! or that low of self esteem that you would go with a man that is not yours and will probably never be truly yours! another question you need to ask yourself why did they separate or divorce in the first place!? and how many times did they divorce? do yourself a favor and find yourself a single person
It's never ok to date someone who is married and if you're separated, you're married. Why enter into something with someone who has baggage that has not been handled. There is usually drama involved.
Never ever date a married person.......now a separated person depends upon the situation.......I would be strictly friends until the the divorce is final before pursuing a emotional/physical relationship.....wait until the papers are signed
Ima gon say!! The same way you get a person is the same way you lose a person, because if you are dating someone that is married, that person a legally bonded to their spouse. Lord forbid, if you were dating someone that was legally married, and they end up on life support, guess who gets the final say on what happens. THE LEGAL WIFE!!, not THE ACTING WIFE!! and that legal wife probably want that insurance money!! IM JUST SAYING...IT HAPPENS.
It is still adultery if they are separated. If they are going to get divorced they owe it to their spouse and the covenant they made to devote their attention to dissolving their marriage without outside parties coming in.
Hi, Ateyaaa, I personally believe that you should wait or not become involved with the married individual. Mistresses are being sued due to the fact that they broke up a happy home. It is legal now to sue the other party that has broken up your marriage. I say do not place yourselve in harms way. Please do not be naive and wait for the right one.
All I have to say on this situation is Karma is a B****! For those involved with married mates, You should ask yourself this question! "Would I want My mate whom im married to going out dating someone else while Im willing to make things work instead of getting a divorce"? Breaking up a happy home is not good because what goes around WILL come back around! Some dont know about these situations but MOST do and I personally think the divorce should be final before getting emotionally involved!
I see "separated" as the inverse of "common law marriage" it depends on how much time has passed and how deeply ur involved. After a certain period of time i do believe its ok to move on and enjoy the company of another person. By that time the feelings have had time to process even if the paperwork hasn't.
I really feel that it is up to the person. I would not do it. How do you know if that person wants to try to work things out . Then your going to be hurt. I dont think you need to take it there while the person is still married.
Honestly i see it as if the shoe was on the other foot what you want that person to do? If you were the separated/married person and you you were emotionally separated from that person and hell you just want to start something that you feel is the best for you. We are all not perfect and say I would do this or that is unreal until you have been in that situation. I say you know just pray about.
Wait until the divorce. but a lot of times they tell you that they are divorced and you find out later (4+years) that the person is separated. If that's the case, you should just drop them. They lied from the beginning and there is no way that is a good situation.
i say what happen to people sticking through the marriage??? I think people consimate(spelling) a relationship before getting to know each other. Marraige is about the good and the bad,sickness and health. Marraige was created under GOD. People really don't realize the vows they take. SEX has takin the for front in a relationship. That is very sad. I am married and it has not been a bed of roses. We both have played our part. BUT we realized with no foundation there can only be a faulty house!!
fine as hell. anyway...lol...divorce 1st, seperation never. BUT...sometimes one of them wont want to get a divorce for fear of alimony, child support, losing what they've acheived financially while married, one still loves another, etc. if tats the case then by all means get a seperation. and if you cant get seperated move out. if you cant move out...well make due baby. make due.
I def think you should wait until the divorce is final... and still wait as others have stated..just coming out of a marriage has it's emotional baggage..i think the he/she needs time to heal..time to be by themselves just to think about life...and how they handle relationships and what went wrong..So the divorced person needs time and space...and should not be looking to jump into a relationship while seperated or right after getting a divorce.
ex wife and i didnt know about her just knew he was the baby mama and comes to find out that the divorce was just final like that wed. or something like that and it was the weekend. i was so heart broken that he didnt tell me and after a while i got over it i mean i had already feel in love with him and his son i still think about it idk what to even say to him about it i just keep my mouth close. so i didnt know and still dont know what to do
hi first love ya video's. i want to comment on the topic. i met this man on internet and we talked over the internet and phone for a year and some before we met face to face. and then we started dating and hanging out and everything was going good and i met his family and friends, his son and i feel in love with his son like he was my own. but one day when me and him was just sitting around the house talking and we have a open relationship and someone knocked on the door and it was his wife well
Wait until the divorce is finalized. I wouldn't want dirt thrown on my name. I wouldn't want to deal with all the drama and emotions. And this situation can backfire bc some people purposely drag out their seperation so they can have their cake and eat it too. Some women who date separated men think he'll leave his wife and marry them but alot of them drag out their divorce bc they dont want to remarry.
@rm1483: I totally agree. Dating someone who is still tied to someone else only creates mess and chaos. Dating someone who just got out of a divorce is asking for trouble. They need time to heal and regroup. Save the rebounding for basketball.
I would never date a separated/divorced man. I follow the rules of the Bible, it says that divorced person must stay unmarried. I can't worry about today's satisfaction when I must worry about my eternal fate.
He/she ain't the one if they r bound to someone else. For black women looking for a single black man: Save up some money every month towards a trip to a new country. There are beautiful black men in Argentina, Barbados, Ghana, etc. Make the effort to find a single man.
@radiant812 Forreal , i feel you. America is not the only place where you can find a man. That is why i advocate for ppl to step out of their comfort zones, step out of your little bubble that is making you think that america is the only place where men are. In my opinion, this separated divorce issue is becoming so careless. ppl arent caring about the fact that tha person cheated to start dealing wit u, i think it is very naive and foolish. Wit all these ppl single u got to get sum1 taken. No!
My boyfriend is divorce. He has been seperated from his wife for 2yrs no the divorce it not final but its in the works. He told me up front and I was NOT cool with it but as time grew on we became more than friends we are together he is around my family as well as I am around his. His wife is not mad that he has a woman and she has a man herself. So it all depends on the ppl and the situation and how everyone handles it!!!
I havent been with him for 2yrs but they finally got it in the works. For awhile she wouldnt sign because they have things together. Finacially it would have broke her. But she is fine with it now and they are both moving which is good for me cuz I dont have that what if in the back of my mind anymore...
As far as the "one is ready to divorce & the other isn't" that really won't drag a divorce out for years because states have laws that if it isn't signed by the other party within X amount of days the divorce still continues to go through. So that's not an excuse in my eyes.
'' If I was that's person, I would just wait until everything is final with that's person.'' Because I would not want that's matter too come back in the end.
Separated is still married. Don't do it. Why? Because the Bible tells us not to! Not to mention all of the emotional stress & baggage that accompanies most of these situations. And for all those who knew there partner was previously married & have the excuse of "I didn't know they were still married" - you didn't know b/c you didn't want to know. Divorces are PUBLIC documentations. So with a little research you could have found out or just asked to see the papers!
Well, in MY personal experience, I started dating about two months after my ex-husband moved out of the house. He cheated on me and, of course, went to the woman he was cheating with as soon as I packed up his ish and set it outside in the driveway. I met a man online and we started dating. I told him I was still married, but separated. He had no problem with it. The relationship didn't last long, I was still raw. In hindsight, I realize I was rebounding. It's best to take time and heal.
EITHER WAY ITS DRAMA N I DONT HAVE THE TIME N ENERGY! I WOULDNT MESS WITH A MAN WHO HAD A GIRLFRIEND! LET ALONE SOME1 WHO HAS PAPERS ON U! CANT DO IT........ DRAMAFREE IS THE WAY 2 B!
I agree with with rm1483....a divorced man or woman is NOT FREE...a separated man or woman is still MARRIED and is NOT FREE...he/she is not anyone's until the heart is delivered from the hurt, heartache, experience of being in love with another person....it is a setup for disaster emotionally. Too many excuses are made to day for adultry...that is what this is plain and simple ADULTRY....there is NO excuse for that....
been there done that.... and the guy did not leave the woman which is right for him because of the kids... I cut him off... and don't you know he got mad at me!!!! but yes I think that the person should wait... because all things change!!! Oh he was still living with her because of money issues... so for me I say wait....I advise people especially women... don't be dumb like me!!! Because he never left the woman!!!
If you believe in bible principles then you should not date a person who is married, simply put regardless if they have been separated for many years! Yes I do think Alicia Keys is a home wrecker! That is just my opinion. She was so wrong! She could of at least waited for him to get divorced, better yet he probably would of stayed with his wife if she would of made the decision to leave him alone! And I know she is not the only one, but she is in the spot light and I supported her music!
well i did,,,,unbeknownst to me,,he told me they WERE divorced. We were otgether for 4 years (living together and everything) then he found out he was still married because he was claiming the alimony on his taxes. At that point i really didnt know what to do..at this point he is still pursuing the divorce,,however we aren't together anymore.
I think a person should NOT date anyone who is only separated. Like you said so many things are involved children, emotions and it is possible that a person can go back. Which leave you hurt. So you should wait or just move on. OH until the divorce is final they are still legally married no matter how you see it.
Here is my two cents contrary to popular belief marriage is an Economic contract, it has nothing to do with the Spiritual bond between the two people. The spiritual separation usually happens way before divorce is talked about. if one person wants to move on date before the other person should be Honest and mature enough to support them. The dissolution of the contract has nothing to do with that. If you no longer love the person or if they no longer love you Let them gp so you can move on
If he's worth it, wait until its all finalized. As long has the man is still married, there is the possibility that he will go back to his wife. Why would any woman want to set herself up like that? Until the marriage is dissolved, he's still a married man which makes him off limits.
It is not ok to date a married person at all!!!!! If you are seperated and want to be with someone else, then that new relationship should be important enough to end your marriage. What happens if you are dating a married person and they, God forbid, become deceased; you are emotionally, mentally and physically attached to someone whose assets are going to someone else. Even if the other person doesn't want the divorce, if there is reasonable cause, the divorce will be granted.
From personal experience, separated is NOT divorced and divorce is not necessarily FINAL. Dating should not begin until the divorce is final and the person has a chance to HEAL. A person going (or having gone) through a divorce has gone through the death of a relationship and any person he or she becomes involved with will have to endure that person's pain if he/she has not been given time to become whole again.
IMO - I do not think you should date while you are just separated. I was in a situation w/ someone who we've had a connection for many years, lost contact, and found each other after several years had past. Feelings never changed, but one thing did...he got married while we were apart. He considered leaving his wife, nothing that had anything to do with me, but wanted to start something up w/ me while separated. That was a no no. I basically said to see me once the ink dried on the papers.
In some states, you have to file for separated status...not just move out. The point is, are you in a healthy place? Are you being true, honest with all involved? Is you are, then moving on is a froth situation and can be a positive experience. I am best friends with my ex, believe it or not. We had different goals and could not stay together, but that did not lead to disrespecting each other. He and I choose to grow and to be happy. If it is against your religion or your personal moral code,
See this is where the problem comes in when you are married and you move out the marital home you are not separated you moved out. When a person file for a divorce they are legally separated. If there is no legal filing you are having sex with a married man/woman. People use the term separated the incorrect way and thats why people get in situations they can't handle.
Ateyaaa, this is a very good topic and I have read the comments but I come from a home that was ended due to infidelity. My parents did reconcile 7 yrs later but the damage had been done for me. I never saw my father the same again. My mother was strong but for the 1st time in my life I saw her broken. I recall her stating to me that you shouldn't mess with a married man because you don't want someone messing with your husband. I live by the rule today - seperated or not.
Separated is still married . I always thought that being separated was when you were suppose to be working on your relationship , not running around dating/sleeping with other people.
I for one don't agree with a person dating a person who is separated. My ex-husband ASKED me for a divorce. We were separated for 1 year while waiting for the court date to "stamp" the divorce on my papers but while waiting for everything to be finialized, I found out that my soon to be ex-husband had a girlfriend and they were living together. Even though I knew what he was doing, I refussed to start dating. I would not comment in adultery.
You are open to a big mess of problems. My X and I were separated for about 3 years. He had a girlfriend and I didn't have anyone. I wanted to work on the marriage but he continued to lie and live his life. Even when I wanted to date someone who either was single,separated, or divorce; I couldn't go through with it because I was still in love with my X. The first guy that I did try to date, come to find out his was still married and cheat on his wife with another woman. Not cool!
@SexxiChica011 she was dating swiss beats wile he was still married to his wife... and i think it just made her look stupid a home wrecker and desperate.... and thats who i think ateya's referring too
My ex and I are separated, living apart and are living our lives. We did not file for insurance and other non-emotional reasons. His girlfriend is not messing with a married man in the traditional sense. My boyfriend is not fooling around with a married woman in that sense. People should not judge situations that they don't understand. I am honest and try hard to do the right thing. Paperwork is in, life goes on...live it!
@zavijah2008 I am also living the life seperated from my husband as we go through a divorce. He has a girlfriend, I on the other hand have chosen not to date until the decree is final. I have friends but they know that I answer to a higher power and out of respect for all parties involved, it is better not to complicate things by introducing a new love interest. His girlfriend can't stand me, and continues to sabotage his chances of having a clean break. So in a way I am glad he ain't so smart
Would you want another woman dating your husband while your separated? Usually one party is praying that they get back together..... How would you feel? Marriage is Final until 2 parties sign on the .......................!
A lot of times, a couple will be separated and have no plans to get back together BUT as soon as one of them finds out that the other is dating...then they want to drag out the divorce. I think that to preserve your heart, you should wait until the divorce is final. Protect your heart. If you love him/her, you can wait.
Don't date a married person or separated person. In fact I would go so far to say don't date someone who is recently divorced since they still need time to heal. Find someone who is emotionally and physically available.
I think that it is not okay to date someone that is separated because it is just too much unnecessary baggage that you have to deal with. If that individual really cared, they would have enough respect for you and wa, nt to handle things in a proper manner. From what I know, I have witnessed someone being separated from their husband and still act as if they were still together. I just think about how people are affected in that situation. Feelings get hurt...
I seen this with my parents,but most men meet the new woman before they even consider a divorce. The difference between people today , is the lack of respect for the wife. Half the time the man is still sleeping with the wife,and the girlfriend. People can't jump in out of relationships with out healing what was broken. The children are broken,and a divorced parents need to give consoling to the children. I can't stand women who date married men. It will never be right in my eyes.
im dating someone who is separated, and its definitely hard and there is always drama bc of his wife. honestly i think its best to wait bc even after all this time of dating him i still feel like im "the other woman" and its a horrible feeling.so definitely wait !
Please please please wait until the papers are signed, just in case he/she decides to reconcile UNLESS, you yourself are 100% sure and not just because they told you. For instance, if they still live together...NO! If they live in different houses then MAYBE but I would be very careful because men and women lie about the status of their relationship so get to know for yourself. But remember that until he/she is divorced, they can never be fully committed to you!
Wait til the divorce. I have a relative who made a life with a man for 20 years who was not legally divorced from his wife. He passed away, she and his children paid for his funeral. However, the wife receives his pension and benefits from his retirement package, AND the life insurance.
It was in fact an oversight. The wife was living happily with another man, but she did not help with the funeral nor pass up the benefits package.
My opinion is that you should wait until the person is divorced. Sometimes people may say that they are separated and they really are living with there spouses and 100% together. Wait, wait and wait...
Yeah It's Different Situations For Different People. Money Reasons, Wife Got On Drugs Reasons, People On The outside Looking In. So Don't Just Look Outside Of A Person And Judge. Only God Knows.
Hi Ateya! I know i'm real young, so it doesn't mean much I guess lol , but i've seen sooooo many situations such as this one. and you should NOT date a separated person. I think waiting is best because all legal documents are signed, nd there will be nooo drama! Meanwhile, you look pretty girl! :)
If it was me, NO! I would wait until the divorce is FINAL. I couldn't stand it, if he was still married to her. I would tell him before you get something started with me...you got to close that door!
Yes it does depend on the persons involved....Because my favorite movie is “Sweet Home Alabama” which is based on that same topic. The lady in the movie was about to get married to her boyfriend/fiancée and went home to Alabama to get the divorce finalized ...so in that situation they lived in different states and had no communication so dating was okay... But like I said it is a movie so probably this would not work in a real life situation.
It's NOT COOL ...and not OK to date a person who is married. I don't see why people want to get involved with each other when there has not been any closure to a situation. There's no sugar coating the situation-- if a person is married then you are the "other" man or woman.
i think you should wait until the divorce is final. because for the married person, separated just means that your not living with the person you married but your STILL MARRIED and there's always the chance that you'll get back with your spouse. So a married person is MARRIED whether they are separated or not.
Stop talking so loud...lol my goodness
MyStuff8712 4 months ago
are you kidding me ...this video has harlot written all over it. i cant stand listening to this person..people wake up. all of this violates Gods laws.. this person on this video needs a close relationship with the lord. she keeps talking about in today age. this is seriously a spirit of jezebel... dont fall for it.
truewomenofGod 5 months ago
@truewomenofGod i totally agree with your comment marriage is a convant and not to be taking lighty
kenya73 1 month ago
A
We had a dead marriage for 20 yrs. Mainly because we were completely incomparable, Why did we get married? Because we were both lonely with no other prospects. Now there is a teenage son who needs the home stability to get college grants & loans. I have been lonely in this marriage for so long craving love & affection yet have never cheated. But now we had the talk. She knows it's dead & says I can date but we can't do the paperwork until our son is set.
GlobalAwareness2525 6 months ago
B
It sounds like it will be a joint divorce, we don't have issues over property, we don't need a lawyer. I want to date but I have 2 concerns. It seems unanimous that women will not date men who are married & even possibly newly divorced plus the divorce is like a dishonorable discharge in the military. Secondly what if the courts are notified that I am dating & having sex outside the marriage while still married, I think that is illegal & might bite me in the butt in the courts.
GlobalAwareness2525 6 months ago
No dating a married man he is still married I don't care if he is separated or just lieing to you I don't care if the other party don't want a divoice or u don't have the money you are still tied legally with that person so that mean I will be the third wheel in that marriage and first of all u can't put your self in that situation God has your husband around the corner and if you settle to be someone second choice then you can't complain when he does you the same way
kenya73 6 months ago
Its TO many people in this world to stick around & wait for a MF to get a divorce! If you know he/she is married, KEEP IT MOVIN. Thats sum bull & hell naw that "lets just be friends thing" is sum bull 2. I knew a MF I found out was separated for 10 years & tried to holla at me. Once I found out it was DUECES! No friends, no u cant call me, no u cant text me, no we aint cool. 10 years dawg? c'mon now. People need to step up the screening process & find out EARLY 2avoid feelings getting in the way
yupyupANDyupsummore 10 months ago
Where is that accent from?
vasguard1969 10 months ago
No wait until their divorce, and even then their still coming with baggage from their last relationship, and you need to ask your self a few question like, Am I the rebound chick? or what problem will he bring with him to the relationship , meaning is he a cheater and what problem did he give her and vise versa, cause he could have cheat, beated, use and abuse her, and if she did it to him you best to believe he coming with baggage.
MekaHall1078 11 months ago
Wow this is a good topic that I personally know too well unfortunantly. I got back with my ex whom at the time was suppose to be seperated and going through a divorce about 3 yrs ago. Things were going fine that is until I found out I was expecting. Things went from worse to horrible!! Long story short he ended up reconciling with his wife, dismissed, and denyed me & my child. This is a 37 yr old man whom I have known for over 8 yrs. I learned a very good life lesson!! Don't do what I did ladies
Chelleb513 1 year ago
I don't know how I missed this. First of all your hair is GAWJUS. - - Okay, I totally am not down with dating someone seperated or awaiting divorce. It opens up the door for a lot of foolishness and if the ink is not dry - no ma'am. Have 'em holla at cha when them strings went snip...TRUST that's baggage no one needs or wants.
PhillyzJamPoet 1 year ago
Last sentence should read "his view on marriage is not an optimistic one".
YoliLoves 1 year ago
Wow, this vid is a God send!! I have a guy that is separated from his wife interested in dating me! He was very forward in telling me he was in the process of divorce, and I told him cool BUT until the divorce is final we could only be FRIENDS! Like previous comments, I don't want get caught up in the drama & I don't want to be his rebound chick! I'm looking to marry someday (hopeless romantic) -- he right now on marriage is not the most optimistic one!
YoliLoves 1 year ago
If you are in a shitty marriage & neither person cares about the other or if she or he leaves or cause they can't stand being around each other so they stay in separate parts of the house BUT they DO still live together because its convenient for the time being. I think you should at least live in 2 different places all together then it would be ok to date but in my situation well, I am looking for a way out, but I am the type that has to have another relationship now. I don't like being alone.
stangcrazygirl 1 year ago
nice topic
bahpnad 1 year ago
Ateyaaa I Know Exactly The "Celebrity" Couple You Are Comparing To. Haha I Feel Ya Girl!!! They Should Not Call This "Celebrity Person" A Homewrecker Because They Do Not Know This "Celebrity's" Personal Situation.
XxXSwaggaXxX 1 year ago
Love The Vid... But Ateyaaa Sometimes In The Vid You Talk A Lil Too Fast.
XxXSwaggaXxX 1 year ago
I was unclear...he has two children by his "ex ?" and then she has two more. His children blame me for breaking up the family.
mszeni22 1 year ago
DO NOT DO IT. Wait for the ink to dry.
gcsugirl 1 year ago
I'm dating a seperated man and I will say...DON"T DO IT! Although she was the one who cheated and has two children by her lover, she refuses to cooperate with the paperwork, child visitiation or anything else for that matter. Constant drama, not to mention I think my guy secretly wishes he could somehow have his old life back the way things were minus the new mouths to feed, baby daddy, and the knowledge he's married to a skank. Oh, and of kids blame me.
mszeni22 1 year ago
@mszeni22 They are not his kids though. In any case, there are tons of vids out there about bad women and their cheating ways. Its no longer just the man.
sandroeleven 1 year ago
I'm a wife who is separated from my husband and waiting for him to answer court papers, I believe people need to be up front about what is happening regarding their divorce
I find too many separated couples lie about a lot of stuff to the person their dating and that starts the drama, me and my husband is over and I have no plans of starting over with him.and don't have a boyfriend.
Some separated people still have sex and they need to stop or call the divorce off.
misty4m 1 year ago
I am separated. My husband and I both have dated and he's been in a relationship for a year. I would say wait until the divorce is final cuz you don't want to be pulled into other people's drama. My husband and I was seeing each other for the past 8 months and he has brought up dumping the girlfriend and us reconciling off and on. Separation doesn't mean divorced and it should be a time for the married couple to figure out what to do, not involve other people. It's a mess!
mamasrad 1 year ago
@mamasrad you playing the FOOL!! there is no problem in yalls relationship other than him being up front and real with you!!! HE WANT HIS CAKE AND A FORK AND HE WANTS TO EAT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU A FOOL FOR THAT ONE!
tapboii1 1 year ago
Girl, I feel you. I had a friend who was dating and [eventually] living w/ a married man. He was legally separated. However, I would always say...'He's cool, but none the less...he's married.' He did get the divorce. They got married...and are currently separated.
To me, it's okay to be friends, talk, and make plans for the future. It's even okay to go out, while keeping a certain distance, but I would not be on a girlfriend/boyfriend level until the divorce is a final.
PearlfectJourney 1 year ago
Not alot of times ALL the time Ateyaaa if he cheated on his wife he will cheat on the next one. Remember this was his wife, his better half if he would do that to her u crazy if u think he won't do it to u. Lfye said it best.Yes it's always best to wait
04070413 1 year ago 6
Not alot of times ALL the time Ateyaaa if he cheated on his wife he will cheat on the next one. Remember this was his wife, his better half if he would do that to her u crazy if u think he won't do it to u. Lfye said it best.
04070413 1 year ago
Love your eye makeup in this video ; )
TummyToys 1 year ago
what is wrong with waiting (time has change) but Gods word is still the same today yesterday and forever that the difference between real chritians and fake one its called adultery and if you get caught up in that at the wrong time there is a place for you Icorinthians 6:9. this world in in for a wide awakening
Charoletta77 1 year ago
yeah. wait until he's legally divorced. that separation period is meant to be sure they even want to divorce. will not be doing anythign with a separated man EVER again. lesson learned.
ebonye76 1 year ago
Ladies need to protective themselves. Guy could say that he is getting a divorce and he isn't. To avoid all that drama, wait for those papers and if it is meant to be it will happen. It is not okay to date a married person; you are complicating your life and deserve so much more.
Adelster 1 year ago
Wow, well I've been in the situation so I say you should wait until its official. Plus you do not know the whole situation, you may not know the wife's side or the husbands side which in the ebd could put you in a real bad position. And that person took vows and i beleive if you really want a divorce you can get one!
MsAja99 1 year ago
It depends on the situation. I DON'T find it to be wrong to DATE someone who is seperated but I DO think it's wrong to have a RELATIONSHIP. If I met a man who is seperated I would seek him only as a FRIEND, I prefer NOT to be with previously married men, maybe if both people spend time on the dating scene and reflecting they may realize how hard it was to find each other. But only date/friendship NO relationships until divorce is final and after they had some "me" time first. Keep it simple.
mrmc2386 1 year ago
True seperated is still maried, however, as long as they are living in seperate homes I wouldn't have aproblem with it
lovablelibra 1 year ago
SEPARATED IS NOT DIVORCED! IT IS STILL MARRIED! If you get the wrong person here in NC; you could get sued!
mapetite45 1 year ago
Separated - no because there is still room for the 2 to work it out....also separated isn't legally divorced so technically have relations with a separated individual is cheating.
Divorced - depends on how long they been divorced or what the situation is...if the individual didn't want the divorce (the partner did)...i would think they weren't ready for a relationship - a serious one at that. I would ask that person 1000 questions.
LuvMissi 1 year ago
why do you scream ? lol
JUICEEcoutureTV 1 year ago
Comment removed
Mrssunshinedavis 1 year ago
I dated a man who was separated....DON'T DO IT!!!!!! Big Drama and he went back to his wife. (Claimed he couldn't leave because of his son) Wait for the divorce. I had to do some soul searching after we broke up, it WAS NOT ok and I wouldn't recommend it. Although we dated after they separated, it was a disaster. Not a good look and it really could have embrassed me and my family had anyone found out. But God stepped in and showed me I was better than the situation.
spacegrl 1 year ago
the are committing adultery and the chance is they will not end up married you because they just getting out of a long time relationship and just want to see what out their not good for someone that looking for a little more. And they will not tell you that at first the wait after you get use to them or falling in love with them
pinkskygirltoo 1 year ago
i mean you should wait until the divorce is final cause it can cause problems and the person who has the Girlfriend or boyfriend will not feel comfortable to date anyone that has not finalize the divorce
Loveabley17 1 year ago
i mean you should wait until the divorce is final cause it can cause problems and the person who has the gf or bf will not feel comfortable to date anyone that has not finalize the divorce
Loveabley17 1 year ago
Divorce should be final. then you can procede. but if your freshly divorced, you sure don't need to moving into a new one because 99 percent of the time they are going to have the same problems in the new new that you had in the past relationship.
globalhealth4 1 year ago
It depends on the people who were in the marriage and what type of marriage they had.
TheBeautifulyCreated 1 year ago
" what god has yoked together let no man put apart" It's is wrong to invade someones marriage whether its a failed marriage or not! It's wrong to demolish any chance of them rekindling their marriage and even if they're not going to rekindle anything it's wrong for you to step into their situation. You're having no respect for the value of marriage you're having no respect for them or for yourself. It's wrong.
SOflySofine 1 year ago
LETS DO IT THE WAY GOD WOULD WANT IT TO BE AND NOT WHAT HOLLYWOOD AND ALL THAT MESS MAN!!!!!
ilovecandles24 1 year ago
I feel you should wait until the divorce is final. you could be setting yourself up for a world of hurt if they decide to reunite. Also you could be standing in the way of the reuniting of something God has put together. You know, let no man put asunder? I won't be touching it with a 20 foot pole!
pritymoka 1 year ago
P.S Finally made a Twitter Account!! ^_^
Follow me -->> @LalaSuhSweet
P.S.S Ateyaaa Your hair looks great and you look really Pretty :)
YummyVixiin 1 year ago
Ahh finally got a chance to watch this. To me, I don't think it's right to date a maried ma period, or woman, especially if there are kids involved cause the kids will always look the boy/girlfriend as an intruder and "the reason behind the seperation".
I think it's rude to go date someone else while still seperated, casue that doesn't honour the oaths of marriage. a seperation should always be given its outmost best of rekindling, not running away to another wo/man's hands giving up.
YummyVixiin 1 year ago
In my opinion, separated, divorced, in both case, it's the same, you made a promise u didn't take. the difference is only a matter of time & papers to sign. Reality is not always easy. but when you fought for ur couple and didn't solve things out, maybe time has come to just let go; Why keep lying to urselves and be unhappy? don't let the guy/girl control ur life. you should just go on and rebuild urself. if he doesn't be with u, don't force him, coz am sure someone else on earth does.
missandra112 1 year ago
This is a HOT TOPIC. My grandparents have the same kind of relationship as yours Ateyaaa and like my grandmother always says, "DO UNTO OTHERS, as you would have them do unto you," because life is long and things have a way of coming back around and lingering issues only fester into bigger garbage. If you are getting someone else's husband, then you aren't getting much.
Why go to the junk yard, when there are brand new cars on the lot? Some people go the "junkyard" route, but it's not for me.
ExtendedStudent4Real 1 year ago
Its not ok! I think a lady is not considered a lady if she is going chasing after a married man. Have some respect for your self. Ya know no one can help love or the emotions that fall into a relationship, I think you should be aware of that and say hey look youre a married man but my feelings have gone to far lets eiether wait and just be friends.I mean I wouldnt chase a married man seperated or not. But like i said BE BIG ENUF TO REMOVE YO SELF!
dimplez0809 1 year ago
In both alicia keys and fantasia case...It's bad...
I mean look at what fantasia did ovver a married man..Is it really worth it..It's too many single men out here to be stressing over a married man..
makeupisglam233 1 year ago
u should never date someone if they are married period u should wait til that person is divorced just cause people in tha limelight do it everybody else thinks its ok but its not if two people till share tha same last names they are still married .
purplecori 1 year ago
Mashonda should have took swiss to court for everything he has!
adrina911 1 year ago
Alicia keys married swiss beats and I agree I look at her in a totally different light. I think they rush the marriage only because she was pregnant. Mashonda should have tore into her I'm sorry.
adrina911 1 year ago
Why jump from one fire into another? The first business isn't finished wait until that is finished. Don't add more whoa to the situation.
5onlyfe 1 year ago
I agree with rm1483. It is best to wait. I am not dating someone on the rebound, chances are they could get back together. Plus like ateya said, "What goes around comes around." If the state says he or she is still married, GUESS WHAT, he or she is still married. I am sorry, a woman is not seen as a lady if she goes after a married man. I know its a double standard, but its the truth. I am not desperate. Thus, I would not go after a married man. However, this is just my opinion
gabyqueenb 1 year ago
Comment removed
gabyqueenb 1 year ago
wait for the divorce
savannahfly 1 year ago
I would definately wait until the person is divorced they cant possibly be ready for a new relationship if the paperwork isnt even done yet! I feel a person isnt emotionally ready for a new relationship. Also once a cheater always a cheater... if he cheated on someone while he or she was persuing you then thats what they will do to you as well.
memejanielle85 1 year ago 14
I think a person should wait, especially if the situation is a very messy one i.e. if kids are invovlved or if there is property to claimed. Also the circumstances under which they are separated is something to evaluate. Did that person cheat? Were they emotionally or physically abusiive? There are a lot of things to consider.
sharayslaughter 1 year ago
I agree It made me think of Alicia Keys in a different light......she should have waited.
telaward 1 year ago 2
if it not workin out in the relationship make sure that they r really separated but i say go a head
21Chinadoll 1 year ago
My mom and dad have been separated since I was born and the divorce wasn't finalized until I was 21 years old lol. They were not interested in rekindling anything however since he was in one state and we were in another AND the fact that my mom does not plan to ever marry again. He cheated and left and we moved forward. I don't feel like the divorce needs to be finalized in order to date. Now I personally would just get get the divorce so that everything can be in order.
shanae48228 1 year ago
Why do fools fall in love??
TheTomidu 1 year ago
you should wait until it is final because you never know if they can reconcile. by having a bf or gf it just clouds your judgement and you may go ahead with the divorce just because of that person's influence.
Duttywhinequeen 1 year ago
never date a married man whether sperated or not...
TheDespinoza 1 year ago
I say LEAVE IT ALONE!!! Too much pressure goes into meeting someone when there are unresolved issues how can you dedicate yourself 2 something new when the OLD hasn't been rectified.The 2nd person, new love interest, is left hanging. This is RIDICULOUS & lets you know the potential for this 2 happen 2 YOU in case you get married. This is FOOLISHNESS.
Wait for the paperwork, when the ink dries then let's see what it is. Some ppl get new mates b/c they don't wanna be alone while the divorce pends
EbonyLolita 1 year ago
@EbonyLolita i agree. very well said.
rianrobot 1 year ago
Never get involved with a Married man or "separated" man neither first you need to ask yourself why in the world would you even want to put yourself in that kind of Drama for? are you that desperate! or that low of self esteem that you would go with a man that is not yours and will probably never be truly yours! another question you need to ask yourself why did they separate or divorce in the first place!? and how many times did they divorce? do yourself a favor and find yourself a single person
Queenterrier 1 year ago
NEVER date anyone who is not screened and qualified to MARRY YOU.
FlorDeLor 1 year ago
It's never ok to date someone who is married and if you're separated, you're married. Why enter into something with someone who has baggage that has not been handled. There is usually drama involved.
PinkMakeupDiva 1 year ago
Never ever date a married person.......now a separated person depends upon the situation.......I would be strictly friends until the the divorce is final before pursuing a emotional/physical relationship.....wait until the papers are signed
zbeautyqueen 1 year ago
NO IT'S NOT RIGHT...............LADIES & GENTLEMEN WAIT UNTIL THE PAPERS ARE SIGNED SEALED & DELIVERED!
nittygritty82 1 year ago
right on ateyaa!
blackqueen0420046 1 year ago
Hi Ateyaa, What did you do to your teeth, They're beautiful! Did you get veneers?? They look really look good!
MzKinyatta 1 year ago
Ima gon say!! The same way you get a person is the same way you lose a person, because if you are dating someone that is married, that person a legally bonded to their spouse. Lord forbid, if you were dating someone that was legally married, and they end up on life support, guess who gets the final say on what happens. THE LEGAL WIFE!!, not THE ACTING WIFE!! and that legal wife probably want that insurance money!! IM JUST SAYING...IT HAPPENS.
1helluvawomen 1 year ago
It is still adultery if they are separated. If they are going to get divorced they owe it to their spouse and the covenant they made to devote their attention to dissolving their marriage without outside parties coming in.
Brynne87 1 year ago
no!
lroc19 1 year ago
Hi, Ateyaaa, I personally believe that you should wait or not become involved with the married individual. Mistresses are being sued due to the fact that they broke up a happy home. It is legal now to sue the other party that has broken up your marriage. I say do not place yourselve in harms way. Please do not be naive and wait for the right one.
mikers1242 1 year ago
All I have to say on this situation is Karma is a B****! For those involved with married mates, You should ask yourself this question! "Would I want My mate whom im married to going out dating someone else while Im willing to make things work instead of getting a divorce"? Breaking up a happy home is not good because what goes around WILL come back around! Some dont know about these situations but MOST do and I personally think the divorce should be final before getting emotionally involved!
kiera843 1 year ago
I see "separated" as the inverse of "common law marriage" it depends on how much time has passed and how deeply ur involved. After a certain period of time i do believe its ok to move on and enjoy the company of another person. By that time the feelings have had time to process even if the paperwork hasn't.
MsMochaDiva 1 year ago
"Your Fowl In Hand
Is More Valuable Than
Flocks In Landscapes"
beatsandmelodies 1 year ago
I really feel that it is up to the person. I would not do it. How do you know if that person wants to try to work things out . Then your going to be hurt. I dont think you need to take it there while the person is still married.
jennysmith2812 1 year ago
Honestly i see it as if the shoe was on the other foot what you want that person to do? If you were the separated/married person and you you were emotionally separated from that person and hell you just want to start something that you feel is the best for you. We are all not perfect and say I would do this or that is unreal until you have been in that situation. I say you know just pray about.
lahana24 1 year ago
Wait until the divorce. but a lot of times they tell you that they are divorced and you find out later (4+years) that the person is separated. If that's the case, you should just drop them. They lied from the beginning and there is no way that is a good situation.
RDHOU28 1 year ago
i say what happen to people sticking through the marriage??? I think people consimate(spelling) a relationship before getting to know each other. Marraige is about the good and the bad,sickness and health. Marraige was created under GOD. People really don't realize the vows they take. SEX has takin the for front in a relationship. That is very sad. I am married and it has not been a bed of roses. We both have played our part. BUT we realized with no foundation there can only be a faulty house!!
aaronadubb 1 year ago
No Greater Bond Than Conception
Laws Are Man Made Ideal Justice
"Yell Faith's Intangible Home"
beatsandmelodies 1 year ago
fine as hell. anyway...lol...divorce 1st, seperation never. BUT...sometimes one of them wont want to get a divorce for fear of alimony, child support, losing what they've acheived financially while married, one still loves another, etc. if tats the case then by all means get a seperation. and if you cant get seperated move out. if you cant move out...well make due baby. make due.
acedaface954 1 year ago
I def think you should wait until the divorce is final... and still wait as others have stated..just coming out of a marriage has it's emotional baggage..i think the he/she needs time to heal..time to be by themselves just to think about life...and how they handle relationships and what went wrong..So the divorced person needs time and space...and should not be looking to jump into a relationship while seperated or right after getting a divorce.
MsBunniLicioUs 1 year ago
ex wife and i didnt know about her just knew he was the baby mama and comes to find out that the divorce was just final like that wed. or something like that and it was the weekend. i was so heart broken that he didnt tell me and after a while i got over it i mean i had already feel in love with him and his son i still think about it idk what to even say to him about it i just keep my mouth close. so i didnt know and still dont know what to do
oneandonlymarissab 1 year ago
hi first love ya video's. i want to comment on the topic. i met this man on internet and we talked over the internet and phone for a year and some before we met face to face. and then we started dating and hanging out and everything was going good and i met his family and friends, his son and i feel in love with his son like he was my own. but one day when me and him was just sitting around the house talking and we have a open relationship and someone knocked on the door and it was his wife well
oneandonlymarissab 1 year ago
Wait until the divorce is finalized. I wouldn't want dirt thrown on my name. I wouldn't want to deal with all the drama and emotions. And this situation can backfire bc some people purposely drag out their seperation so they can have their cake and eat it too. Some women who date separated men think he'll leave his wife and marry them but alot of them drag out their divorce bc they dont want to remarry.
champagnewishez 1 year ago
@rm1483: I totally agree. Dating someone who is still tied to someone else only creates mess and chaos. Dating someone who just got out of a divorce is asking for trouble. They need time to heal and regroup. Save the rebounding for basketball.
mizjazzyjef 1 year ago
wait for the divorce to be final. wait on GODs plan for your life.
latrece36 1 year ago
wait until the divorce is final
CITYGIRLW 1 year ago
I agree with you, if I was in the situation I would wait until the divorce is final. I wouldn't want no bad rep or anybody after me! lol
shayna328 1 year ago
Remember y'all, you lose 'em how you get 'em. I know this has nothing to do with it...but girlllllllllll, your hair is the business!!!!!
jadedgurl86 1 year ago
I would never date a separated/divorced man. I follow the rules of the Bible, it says that divorced person must stay unmarried. I can't worry about today's satisfaction when I must worry about my eternal fate.
He/she ain't the one if they r bound to someone else. For black women looking for a single black man: Save up some money every month towards a trip to a new country. There are beautiful black men in Argentina, Barbados, Ghana, etc. Make the effort to find a single man.
radiant812 1 year ago
@radiant812 Forreal , i feel you. America is not the only place where you can find a man. That is why i advocate for ppl to step out of their comfort zones, step out of your little bubble that is making you think that america is the only place where men are. In my opinion, this separated divorce issue is becoming so careless. ppl arent caring about the fact that tha person cheated to start dealing wit u, i think it is very naive and foolish. Wit all these ppl single u got to get sum1 taken. No!
lasexzchika 1 year ago
My boyfriend is divorce. He has been seperated from his wife for 2yrs no the divorce it not final but its in the works. He told me up front and I was NOT cool with it but as time grew on we became more than friends we are together he is around my family as well as I am around his. His wife is not mad that he has a woman and she has a man herself. So it all depends on the ppl and the situation and how everyone handles it!!!
~MY OPINION~ =)
lovedbyall916 1 year ago 2
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2010ilovelife 1 year ago
@2010ilovelife
I havent been with him for 2yrs but they finally got it in the works. For awhile she wouldnt sign because they have things together. Finacially it would have broke her. But she is fine with it now and they are both moving which is good for me cuz I dont have that what if in the back of my mind anymore...
lovedbyall916 1 year ago
As far as the "one is ready to divorce & the other isn't" that really won't drag a divorce out for years because states have laws that if it isn't signed by the other party within X amount of days the divorce still continues to go through. So that's not an excuse in my eyes.
Ladonte1984 1 year ago
'' If I was that's person, I would just wait until everything is final with that's person.'' Because I would not want that's matter too come back in the end.
phillybrownsexy 1 year ago
No the person will have far too much baggage. Best to be friends first and wait for the drama to end and then go for it.
Cutchswife 1 year ago
Separated is still married. Don't do it. Why? Because the Bible tells us not to! Not to mention all of the emotional stress & baggage that accompanies most of these situations. And for all those who knew there partner was previously married & have the excuse of "I didn't know they were still married" - you didn't know b/c you didn't want to know. Divorces are PUBLIC documentations. So with a little research you could have found out or just asked to see the papers!
Ladonte1984 1 year ago
NO!!!!!!!!!!
naturalbornqueen 1 year ago
Well, in MY personal experience, I started dating about two months after my ex-husband moved out of the house. He cheated on me and, of course, went to the woman he was cheating with as soon as I packed up his ish and set it outside in the driveway. I met a man online and we started dating. I told him I was still married, but separated. He had no problem with it. The relationship didn't last long, I was still raw. In hindsight, I realize I was rebounding. It's best to take time and heal.
TheJennycococure 1 year ago
EITHER WAY ITS DRAMA N I DONT HAVE THE TIME N ENERGY! I WOULDNT MESS WITH A MAN WHO HAD A GIRLFRIEND! LET ALONE SOME1 WHO HAS PAPERS ON U! CANT DO IT........ DRAMAFREE IS THE WAY 2 B!
MissRina217 1 year ago
I agree with with rm1483....a divorced man or woman is NOT FREE...a separated man or woman is still MARRIED and is NOT FREE...he/she is not anyone's until the heart is delivered from the hurt, heartache, experience of being in love with another person....it is a setup for disaster emotionally. Too many excuses are made to day for adultry...that is what this is plain and simple ADULTRY....there is NO excuse for that....
vfsings2 1 year ago
in the words of Miss NeNe Leaks..."Close Ya Legs ta married men!" simple as that! LOL
shari04 1 year ago
been there done that.... and the guy did not leave the woman which is right for him because of the kids... I cut him off... and don't you know he got mad at me!!!! but yes I think that the person should wait... because all things change!!! Oh he was still living with her because of money issues... so for me I say wait....I advise people especially women... don't be dumb like me!!! Because he never left the woman!!!
kimbrellababy 1 year ago 5
@kimbrellababy You weren't dumb, just hopeful. Thanks for sharing.
ilshowgurl22 1 year ago
No. Wait. Simple.
mlunn26 1 year ago
If you believe in bible principles then you should not date a person who is married, simply put regardless if they have been separated for many years! Yes I do think Alicia Keys is a home wrecker! That is just my opinion. She was so wrong! She could of at least waited for him to get divorced, better yet he probably would of stayed with his wife if she would of made the decision to leave him alone! And I know she is not the only one, but she is in the spot light and I supported her music!
summerrose126 1 year ago 3
@summerrose126 i was just gonna say! the bible speaks clearly.
QKalani 1 year ago
well i did,,,,unbeknownst to me,,he told me they WERE divorced. We were otgether for 4 years (living together and everything) then he found out he was still married because he was claiming the alimony on his taxes. At that point i really didnt know what to do..at this point he is still pursuing the divorce,,however we aren't together anymore.
TheLadyClassique 1 year ago
I think a person should NOT date anyone who is only separated. Like you said so many things are involved children, emotions and it is possible that a person can go back. Which leave you hurt. So you should wait or just move on. OH until the divorce is final they are still legally married no matter how you see it.
CoachSheya 1 year ago
Here is my two cents contrary to popular belief marriage is an Economic contract, it has nothing to do with the Spiritual bond between the two people. The spiritual separation usually happens way before divorce is talked about. if one person wants to move on date before the other person should be Honest and mature enough to support them. The dissolution of the contract has nothing to do with that. If you no longer love the person or if they no longer love you Let them gp so you can move on
beloveme 1 year ago
If he's worth it, wait until its all finalized. As long has the man is still married, there is the possibility that he will go back to his wife. Why would any woman want to set herself up like that? Until the marriage is dissolved, he's still a married man which makes him off limits.
Jazz08181 1 year ago
If you are not divorced, then you don't want a divorce!
Covergirl1218 1 year ago
It is not ok to date a married person at all!!!!! If you are seperated and want to be with someone else, then that new relationship should be important enough to end your marriage. What happens if you are dating a married person and they, God forbid, become deceased; you are emotionally, mentally and physically attached to someone whose assets are going to someone else. Even if the other person doesn't want the divorce, if there is reasonable cause, the divorce will be granted.
Covergirl1218 1 year ago
Separated is not equal to divorce. So if anyone is dating a person who is separated, or is separated themselves they are committing adultery.
kingdomanointed 1 year ago 10
@kingdomanointed Amen to that one.
ilovecandles24 1 year ago
being separated your still legally married it takes only 90 days for the whole process to be finalized
MissBlovinChrist 1 year ago 2
From personal experience, separated is NOT divorced and divorce is not necessarily FINAL. Dating should not begin until the divorce is final and the person has a chance to HEAL. A person going (or having gone) through a divorce has gone through the death of a relationship and any person he or she becomes involved with will have to endure that person's pain if he/she has not been given time to become whole again.
weezy1029 1 year ago
IMO - I do not think you should date while you are just separated. I was in a situation w/ someone who we've had a connection for many years, lost contact, and found each other after several years had past. Feelings never changed, but one thing did...he got married while we were apart. He considered leaving his wife, nothing that had anything to do with me, but wanted to start something up w/ me while separated. That was a no no. I basically said to see me once the ink dried on the papers.
MsBrwnSuga25 1 year ago
@MsBrwnSuga25 You said it BEST! "Call me after the ink dries!" Thatz Right
mrsexehall 1 year ago
i agree w/ you , i would wait . & by the way i like the wavy/curly hair on you :]
ShyGirlFlyGirl13 1 year ago
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chrisbootsy 1 year ago
In some states, you have to file for separated status...not just move out. The point is, are you in a healthy place? Are you being true, honest with all involved? Is you are, then moving on is a froth situation and can be a positive experience. I am best friends with my ex, believe it or not. We had different goals and could not stay together, but that did not lead to disrespecting each other. He and I choose to grow and to be happy. If it is against your religion or your personal moral code,
zavijah2008 1 year ago
See this is where the problem comes in when you are married and you move out the marital home you are not separated you moved out. When a person file for a divorce they are legally separated. If there is no legal filing you are having sex with a married man/woman. People use the term separated the incorrect way and thats why people get in situations they can't handle.
paysh73 1 year ago 2
Ateyaaa, this is a very good topic and I have read the comments but I come from a home that was ended due to infidelity. My parents did reconcile 7 yrs later but the damage had been done for me. I never saw my father the same again. My mother was strong but for the 1st time in my life I saw her broken. I recall her stating to me that you shouldn't mess with a married man because you don't want someone messing with your husband. I live by the rule today - seperated or not.
MsBecky7227 1 year ago
Separated is still married . I always thought that being separated was when you were suppose to be working on your relationship , not running around dating/sleeping with other people.
1stHumesgirl 1 year ago
I for one don't agree with a person dating a person who is separated. My ex-husband ASKED me for a divorce. We were separated for 1 year while waiting for the court date to "stamp" the divorce on my papers but while waiting for everything to be finialized, I found out that my soon to be ex-husband had a girlfriend and they were living together. Even though I knew what he was doing, I refussed to start dating. I would not comment in adultery.
ComplexionsofU 1 year ago
You are open to a big mess of problems. My X and I were separated for about 3 years. He had a girlfriend and I didn't have anyone. I wanted to work on the marriage but he continued to lie and live his life. Even when I wanted to date someone who either was single,separated, or divorce; I couldn't go through with it because I was still in love with my X. The first guy that I did try to date, come to find out his was still married and cheat on his wife with another woman. Not cool!
MSMILLA 1 year ago
I won't judge but I waited until he was divorced. I had to see papers and looked that sucker up to make sure too.
lawsandrules 1 year ago
in alicia keys case.... no.. it made her look bad
guddagurlkeya 1 year ago 32
@guddagurlkeya what happend with her?
SexxiChica011 1 year ago
@SexxiChica011 she was dating swiss beats wile he was still married to his wife... and i think it just made her look stupid a home wrecker and desperate.... and thats who i think ateya's referring too
guddagurlkeya 1 year ago 2
My ex and I are separated, living apart and are living our lives. We did not file for insurance and other non-emotional reasons. His girlfriend is not messing with a married man in the traditional sense. My boyfriend is not fooling around with a married woman in that sense. People should not judge situations that they don't understand. I am honest and try hard to do the right thing. Paperwork is in, life goes on...live it!
zavijah2008 1 year ago
@zavijah2008 I am also living the life seperated from my husband as we go through a divorce. He has a girlfriend, I on the other hand have chosen not to date until the decree is final. I have friends but they know that I answer to a higher power and out of respect for all parties involved, it is better not to complicate things by introducing a new love interest. His girlfriend can't stand me, and continues to sabotage his chances of having a clean break. So in a way I am glad he ain't so smart
ireignfyr 1 year ago
you have to be careful Especially when kids are involved.
butterflyat40 1 year ago
I would have to wait. That is just too much baggage to be dealing with.
BlkGurlPoly91 1 year ago
& the same way you win them is how you lose them....... Karma!
mrsexehall 1 year ago 2
@mrsexehall And I've met Karma before...She is not to be messed wit.
ireignfyr 1 year ago 2
Would you want another woman dating your husband while your separated? Usually one party is praying that they get back together..... How would you feel? Marriage is Final until 2 parties sign on the .......................!
mrsexehall 1 year ago 2
A lot of times, a couple will be separated and have no plans to get back together BUT as soon as one of them finds out that the other is dating...then they want to drag out the divorce. I think that to preserve your heart, you should wait until the divorce is final. Protect your heart. If you love him/her, you can wait.
mpenny226 1 year ago
Don't date a married person or separated person. In fact I would go so far to say don't date someone who is recently divorced since they still need time to heal. Find someone who is emotionally and physically available.
rm1483 1 year ago 54
I think that it is not okay to date someone that is separated because it is just too much unnecessary baggage that you have to deal with. If that individual really cared, they would have enough respect for you and wa, nt to handle things in a proper manner. From what I know, I have witnessed someone being separated from their husband and still act as if they were still together. I just think about how people are affected in that situation. Feelings get hurt...
MzBeautyNc 1 year ago
I seen this with my parents,but most men meet the new woman before they even consider a divorce. The difference between people today , is the lack of respect for the wife. Half the time the man is still sleeping with the wife,and the girlfriend. People can't jump in out of relationships with out healing what was broken. The children are broken,and a divorced parents need to give consoling to the children. I can't stand women who date married men. It will never be right in my eyes.
MarquitaD111 1 year ago
im dating someone who is separated, and its definitely hard and there is always drama bc of his wife. honestly i think its best to wait bc even after all this time of dating him i still feel like im "the other woman" and its a horrible feeling.so definitely wait !
iLuvPink1xoxo 1 year ago
Make sure the divorce is FINAL - a separated person is still a married person. God can not bless you and the relationship.
VP012868 1 year ago
Please please please wait until the papers are signed, just in case he/she decides to reconcile UNLESS, you yourself are 100% sure and not just because they told you. For instance, if they still live together...NO! If they live in different houses then MAYBE but I would be very careful because men and women lie about the status of their relationship so get to know for yourself. But remember that until he/she is divorced, they can never be fully committed to you!
nikjohn77 1 year ago
Wait til the divorce. I have a relative who made a life with a man for 20 years who was not legally divorced from his wife. He passed away, she and his children paid for his funeral. However, the wife receives his pension and benefits from his retirement package, AND the life insurance.
It was in fact an oversight. The wife was living happily with another man, but she did not help with the funeral nor pass up the benefits package.
ilshowgurl22 1 year ago 3
@ilshowgurl22 Wow, this is said.. thanks or sharing..I know several family members I need to share this with.
MissKesha832 1 year ago
I think a person shouldn't do that personally because it usually doesn't work out in the end...
thisizme82 1 year ago
My opinion is that you should wait until the person is divorced. Sometimes people may say that they are separated and they really are living with there spouses and 100% together. Wait, wait and wait...
awol0103 1 year ago
Yeah It's Different Situations For Different People. Money Reasons, Wife Got On Drugs Reasons, People On The outside Looking In. So Don't Just Look Outside Of A Person And Judge. Only God Knows.
Msevelynb67 1 year ago
Hi Ateya! I know i'm real young, so it doesn't mean much I guess lol , but i've seen sooooo many situations such as this one. and you should NOT date a separated person. I think waiting is best because all legal documents are signed, nd there will be nooo drama! Meanwhile, you look pretty girl! :)
ProdigyKenz 1 year ago
If it was me, NO! I would wait until the divorce is FINAL. I couldn't stand it, if he was still married to her. I would tell him before you get something started with me...you got to close that door!
chrissy200384 1 year ago
Yes it does depend on the persons involved....Because my favorite movie is “Sweet Home Alabama” which is based on that same topic. The lady in the movie was about to get married to her boyfriend/fiancée and went home to Alabama to get the divorce finalized ...so in that situation they lived in different states and had no communication so dating was okay... But like I said it is a movie so probably this would not work in a real life situation.
charlyee09 1 year ago
It's NOT COOL ...and not OK to date a person who is married. I don't see why people want to get involved with each other when there has not been any closure to a situation. There's no sugar coating the situation-- if a person is married then you are the "other" man or woman.
divaonthehorizon 1 year ago
i think you should wait until the divorce is final. because for the married person, separated just means that your not living with the person you married but your STILL MARRIED and there's always the chance that you'll get back with your spouse. So a married person is MARRIED whether they are separated or not.
taliabear2010 1 year ago