Added: 3 years ago
From: TheonlyComedian
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  • The video cut off before the end in which the guy who keeps saying to Connelly that "I know you" actually did. He saw Connelly when he played a university gig in the very early days of his career.. Connelly couldn't believe he remembered him from so far back..

  • @celticlofts thats in part 2...

  • love big billy! lol.

  • @theflylice Ah! Thanks! I thought that's what he said but I didn't understand what it meant haha so it made me question if he did actually say "about 60 days". Much appreciated.

  • What does Davey say to the guy who asks him how much his house is worth at 6:15? I've replayed it tens of times and still can't decipher what he's saying.

  • @MunchinOnDew "About 60 days", that would be his jail time if he sold the council house he lives in, it doesn't belong to him see.

  • "chriStmas"

  • I had to remove my glasses when he came to the bit where the old lady made the cultery somersault because it was getting all wet from the tears that were streaming from my eyes

    "I know you f*cking know me, I'm eating christmas dinner in your house" :'D

  • 'none of that flint pissh' hahaha

  • The whole thing's a ghastly nightmare

    Hear, Hear, fuckin' terrible

    I know you. I do

    I KNOW YA FUCKIN' KNOW ME!

  • Whiskey AND Tequila?! Fuck man!

  • i do know you you know

  • 17people think this a fucking night mare...but they are wrong

  • love it, the mans a genius

  • moo!

    

  • "I KNOW YA FUCKING KNOW MEH!" hahaaaa xD

  • 17 people dont know him

  • its all just a gastly nightmare HERE HERE FUCKIN TERRIBLE

  • ...."about 60 days" ?? i dont get it!

  • @TheBrradsullivan he means he would get jail for 60 days as its a council house not his own to sell

  • The transcribe audio tool on this is crazy. Almost as funny as Connolly.

  • @cantthinkofaname0880 Thanks for that - didn't know it existed. It's like a Bad Lip Reading episode.

  • I know you... ;)

  • what sort of schnapps

  • "...D'you think we could go in?" LOL!!! X'D

  • is this from one of billy's dvds? if so which one?

  • @AdamBekier Two night stand, possibly the best Billy Video ever.

  • deer that moo. my fave.

  • 3:00 ...

  • where was this filmed

  • Have you ever wondered why you don't see John Cleese and Billy Connolly in the same place.... 08:31 will tell you why

  • This is SO BLOODY FUNNY!!!!

  • He should be nicknamed "The Scottish Comedian." He's awesome!

  • 17 cunts dnt like this its either pressed bye mistake or GET A FUKIN LIFE

  • " I says, do you think we could go in? " HAHAHAHA !!!!!

  • Toboggan!!

  • Great post, love Billy

  • this has to be the best story!

  • i just wanna get pissed with him

  • @edwards81 i was about to say the kinda fella you want to have a pint

  • "Mooooo! Billy behave!" =)

  • Most Scottish comedians are dour, not unfunny but they don't raise a real smile with there stories, eg Frankie Boyle. The only comedian I know who gets close to Billy Connolly is Kevin Bridges, give him a couple of years and he might be a true challenger. Until then Billy will reign supreme!

  • which dvd is this from?

  • @AerithRosa This is from his Two Night Stand show. one of his best.

  • "chinkie poo" hahahaha "i know you" that accent is brilliant XD 

  • a feel stupid here but a dont get the 60 days joke 

  • @DAG241 Dave lived in a Council house which meant he didn't own it. If he sold it he would get 60 days in clink.

  • @Bondidog cheers mate but a asked my maw n she told me and then started laughing and stated calling me a silly cunt

  • @DAG241 - LMFAO!

  • mark twain a comedian?

  • @7:56 that has to be one of my favorite quotes from Bill. Hahahaa

  • "i know you. i do .. i know you"

  • Billy is pure comedic gold. Can you imagine how awesome it would be like to have Billy and George Carlin over for a beer?

  • @21aesir12 holy crap that would be awesomeness mixed with epicness to bad George Carlin is dead though

  • funny as fuck.total gold.

  • We're nearly toffs!

  • Bigger than Kelvin grove!? gold

  • V neck pullovers soaked in gasoline and lite up make such lovely Christmas decorations for the drive.

  • 13 people wear v-neck pullovers

  • He spends over a minute emphasising how rich these guys are. This is why I love the man.

  • 13 Fucking beige peaces of shit who have no sense of humor what so ever than just to play golf with there V neck pull overs.

  • Man, that ''he's waiting for a fucking round of applause'' after saying how much his house is worth rings so true to me. I know many of those people.

  • 13 people "know" him...

  • Billy, you are a legend! I just love your humour, mate. I'm from a wee place called "Dunoon". I know you are a little older now but I have also noted your acting ability which is again brilliant! Love you forever, mate!

  • 13 people own a volvo

  • @piemuncher97 make that seventeen who are nearly toffs

  • "Moo, or whatever f*ckin' noise they make..." XD Had me in STITCHES!

  • "I KNOW YOU FUCKING KNOW ME!!!"

    Gets me every time.

  • "He's waiting for a fucking round of applause here" - Billy has the ability to make you crack up and cry laughing with such simple humour. This story is without equal

  • No, he doesn't mean he'd get 60 days to vacate the house. He means he'd get 60 days inside (ie in prison) for trying to sell his council house (it doesn't belong to him so it's fraud).

  • @redghost105 he means he'd get 60 days to vacate the house

    Billy Connolly is the greatest comedian alive!! I've recently been watching the Australian tour DVD again and it's fantastic. Would love to get on the lash with him, he'd be a scream!!

  • The Clachan Pub in Drymen

    nice

    

  • Wooo! Bishopbriggs ftw! :P

  • fukin middle class pricks disliking this video, your all wankers, and sum upper class ppl, u fuk this whole world up. we working class are the best

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  • All I can say is I laugh till I cry EVERY time I see it. And I don't have a sense of humour!!!!!!

  • Ah've never had Chritmas dinner....I've occasionally enjoyed ChirStmas dinner - but I still think Billy has the funniest stories from his life!

  • @billyconnearly Ah've never had ChirStmas dinner... I've occasionally enjoyed ChRIStmas dinner - ...nah, just kidding. Haha. ;)

  • man i havent seen this guy in ages.

  • 13 people didnt get the council house joke...

  • Wish you could upload "How to eat a Toblerine" LOL

  • ''i know you, i know your face ''

  • HAHAHAHAHAHA...will be watching Billy live tonight in Oz.....should be a hoot! :oD

  • @UltimateStaffyLover How was the show? I love Billy would love to see him live :)

  • He tickles my funny bone something fierce.... "I know you, I do." LMAO :D

  • 13 people have a volvo

  • Mooo.........Billy behave.........

  • Mooo.........

  • 13 people don't know him.

  • No, is it really whisky schnapps and tequila. Where does the heat come from, some chillies.

  • "My wifes been there a week she's already one of them.."HERE HERE!"

    the simplest things from Billy just make me giggle my arse off :p

  • I laughed so hard... even though i didn't understand a word he said.

  • There's nothing better than Chrit mas dinner!!lol

  • I KNOW YOU-YOU KNOW ME!hahaha, omg. Tears comin out of my eyes.

  • Whistling Dixie - Chinky Poo! Love the Legend!

  • "Moo, or whatever f*ckin noise they make..."

  • "None of that "flint" pishhh" Always makes me laugh...

  • fuck my english is not good enough to understand the joke with "60 days."..

  • @TheNoCoincidence After brief wiki search (I didn't get it either): I think it's cause the council houses are the british equivalent of "section 8" housing in America. So if he sold it, he'd be selling something that isn't his (and ultimately is government property). Hence the 60 days.

  • @TheNoCoincidence If you live in a council house, you are renting, you are a tenant, not an owner.The owners or landlords, can terminate the lease (under many varied circumstances) but the tenant is legally entitled to 60 days' notice to vacate the premises. The joke is that the guy posing the question assumes Davey is a home owner, who can choose to sell the house he's living in. The reality is, if the house is sold by its owners, Davey, the tenant, gets 60 days' notice, not a tidy profit ; )

  • sounds like brian badonde

  • Which show is this clip from? I've seen it so many times, and it never gets old!

  • @bassretro1993 Two night stand this clip is from>

  • "Herds of five-hundred, MOO or whatever fuckin' noise they make"

  • LOVE YOU BILLY CONNOLLY =D

    IF YOU AGREE THAT THIS MAN IN HIS PRIME WAS THE GREATEST COMEDIAN EVAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR...THUMBS UP xD

  • @CapitalBhoy78 I disagree.... I think he is STILL the greatest comedian ever

  • @CapitalBhoy78 Fuck off, His whole life is prime, WTF have U done? Typed a wee message? PISH! Hes still touring if you wanna do somethin with YOUR Prime i suggest you go see em, or fuck off!

  • @Slapchop8 Mate I am a huge fan of his,both as a comedian and as a person,but you can't truthfully say that today he is still as funny as he used to be and there's no shame in that as he is like 70 years old now. "I know you,I know your face" priceless

  • @CapitalBhoy78 Im sure you have a great liking of the man. But wrong you are to believe he's any less funny, he just sold out a show in Los Angeles, you tell me one other Glasgow bloke of any age is Selling out shows anywhere......Who .... Rafferty? Yeah from the grave! I know comedy, Billy is my Chief always , and forever relevant.

  • @CapitalBhoy78 one of the best.. george carlin to ..

  • @CapitalBhoy78 was .. IS!!!

  • @CapitalBhoy78 the man has been in his prime from the start, Ive grown up listening to him as my parents are fans. Long live the Big Yin!!

  • I have tears in my eyes just watching Billy ....... .dying of laughter!!! If laughter is the best medicine, Billy must be the best doctor in the world.

  • Billy conolly is the best comedian who ever lived!

  • "Rivers lakes and deer runnin about,herds of about 500 of em..moo or whatever fuckin noise they make"

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  • it's just the middle that sucks!!he is SO wright!!it's true. my working class family and me, mix easally with the serious rich people!!because we do have seriously rich friends,who are just as bonkers as we!hahahaha great..........

  • 12 people wear v necks

  • Mooo xDD

  • scottiewallace.would be phenomanal,but would he do it?only for a laugh,thats for sure.ant and dec would have difficulties "following that"

  • I've seen him do the 'drunk from the feet up routine' on Parkinson from the 70s. That time it was in a bar where a drink called a zombie was served in a coconut shell. I wonder which one is true...

  • 12 born with no sense of humor

    with ur donations we can help to kill them

  • @neweler : Wot for? They're already dead, ain't they? Someone give 'em th' malkie, sure. ;])

  • @neweler To be honest, I think that the (now 16 dislikes) are either people who like the unfunny "comediens"that waste TV/airtime nowadays, maybe alan carr, or the alan some other person OR maybe the daily mail readers (who I find that can't stand Scottish anything!)

  • boo hahaa

  • Only comedian I've ever watched where you can watch watch the same clip 20 times on the trot and still laugh until it hurt. Utter legend is the Big Yin

  • PLEASE THUMB THIS UP IF YOU AGREE, Lets have a petition to have billy connolly in the next years i'm a celebrity get me out of here, lets have this highest rated comment on each of his video's so we can get him in there, copy this comment and paste it on all his video's..... we want him in the jungle... he's bound to make it amazing!!! Join our facebook group "get billy connolly on i'm a celebrity get me out of here" now and get your friends to join too!!

  • what tour is this?

  • what tour is this?!

  • "How much will you get for your house?"

    He said: " Oh about 60 days"

    Haha Billy at his best there.

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  • Brilliant,

    12 people need to get a sense of humor 

  • lol absolutely love billy he makes me laugh every time i watch him. fascinating, and very clever man

  • Tobbogan is my new go to answer... :)

    Occupation; Tobboganist.

  • i know you. i dont know where but i know you. So what do you do. Tobbogan. No i mean whats ya job. Tobbogan. Im a tobboganist!!

  • ' wishin he would just FUCK OFF' hahaha!!

  • i just love it, when he drifts from one story to another, stays there for a moment and then at some point returns to the original story again... truly amazing.

  • i agree with billy completely when he says that the serious upperclass mix easaly with the working class!i'm working class and also have a few upper class friends i can laugh with ,till i piss myself laughing!!it's really the middle that sucks!!they're fucking wannabees!!by the way....i'd loved be at that christmas diner....hilarious

  • i pissed myself

  • Do you have the video where he talks about being deflowered in a graveyard? I've never seen that bit since being in the UK, and I'm dying to see it again...it used to destroy me laughing. I think it was from this era!

  • @crinklefish SHE VIOLATED MEEEEEEEEE

    ....Following week everyone was back lookin' for her.

    lol, I have the dvd with that on but not sure which one it is, I've got quite a few of his dvd's. I'm pretty sure that story is a part of his "Live - The Greatest Hits"

  • @YOUNOTCOOKING

    LOL! I caved after I wrote that comment and after 10 years (I saw it in 99) I finally just downloaded it via torrent. We actually had to PAUSE it halfway through because my face and stomach hurt from laughing so hard.

    "My willie was glowin' in the dark!!!"

    The motorcycle bit after that was likewise devastating! I got to meet him a couple of months ago while doing the backstage photos for Citizen Radio. I got my picture with him and I'm grinning from ear to ear.

  • @crinklefish

    Rock on! I'd love to meet the guy, he's been my favourite comedian and allround good guy for god knows how long. Gotta love his banana feet in his earlier days!

  • which dvd is this from?

  • what's chritmas? lol

  • i am lookin for the song where peeps are pissed and sing sharoamone ??any answers .

  • 12 people didn't get the council house joke.....

  • @jonnyrisas i didnt get the council house joke, im really confused

  • @frazledazzle11 lol....well, the guy lives in a council house...so when the guy say's "what do you think you would get if you sold your house.....as you can't sell a council house...he says 60 days..meaning 60 days in prison...i guess that's the penalty..lol

  • @jonnyrisas I really didn't get it. The rest of it was fucking funny though. Could someone explain the 60 days bit?

  • @khayman042 If you live in a council house, you are renting, you are a tenant, not an owner.The owners or landlords, can terminate the lease (under many varied circumstances) but the tenant is legally entitled to 60 days' notice to vacate the premises. The joke is that the guy posing the question assumes Davey is a home owner, who can choose to sell the house he's living in. The reality is, if the house is sold by its owners, Davey, the tenant, gets 60 days' notice, not a tidy profit ; )

  • @kikicrete a think youl find he ment hed get 60 days in the big hoose i.e prison if he tried to sell his coonsil hoose m8

  • @jonnyrisas I really didn't get it. The rest of it was fucking funny though. Could someone explain the 60 days bit?

  • @khayman042 if you look back in the comments you'll find the answer...it's really funny

  • @khayman042 60 days means its not his house belongs to the Council when is Local Goverment so selling a house that does not belong to you means jail time lol

  • @jonnyrisas actually I didnt get it...if your talking about the "Id get 60 days"

    could you explain?

  • @jonnyrisas Did they get 60 days instead? XD

  • "I know you, I do, I know you." HA!

  • What he says about the Middle Class Climbers is so true!

  • Billy clearly hasn't been near Bishopbriggs for a while...

  • @mccarthief Thats cause this is a good 10 years old now

  • Herds of five hundred Moo! or whatever fuckin noise they make.

    EEEUURRGH! EEEUURRGH!

  • within the first 45 seconds of watching this i had nearly choked to death on the ice tea i was drinking

    there should be some kind of warning

  • 12 people wear V necks and drive Volvos

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  • Snake Eye. ((It's Whisky, Schnapps, & Tequila)) Yeah, that might get you a wee bit pissed.

  • looooooooooool

  • I bet the 11 folk that disliked this were the middle class who fuck the thing up!

  • @doorwindow7 yeah the V-neck volvo pull over crowd!

  • do ye think we can go in? fuckin quality!!

  • "I'd get sixty days"!!! L.O.L. I can certainly relate to the disconnect in terms of "classism" and "getting on" with the affluent. Connelly is a mastermind.