Best Of Rifftrax: Titanic

[Imatrollyay]

Damnit, rifftrax, your "Death to the titanic" jokes almost made me choke on my bagel.

[FTS57]

(Burps) "Why I outa kick your ars!"

[DrStrangefate]

"Wasn't I a dish?"

"Now I'm a bag."

I spat out my pepsi.

[TheKamacuras]

@CMW1995 Sexy time, high five, is nice!

[LiamX61]

Oh, tihs is so wrong, but i cant stop laughing

[Tomtaylorross]

Heronomus Fisto. Reference made my day

[pretorious700]

wow, I had forgotten how awful that pos film was

[shananagins2006]

@textthing Yeah in 3D too :)

[CMW1995]

YOUR PROPELLERS KILLED MY FAMILY! *garble* I VOW WEVENGE!!

[EmpressJudge13]

@CMW1995 I JOIN YOUR QUEST FOR REVENGE!

[CMW1995]

@EmpressJudge13 AS DO I! IF WE BAND TOGETHER, WE CAN TOW AN ICEBERG INTO THEIR PATH AND SINK THIS MURDER SHIP! *garble*

[hardcorefakes1]

@CMW1995 DEATH TO THE TITANIC!!!!

[CMW1995]

@hardcorefakes1 DEATH TO THE TITANIC!! *garble*

[TheKamacuras]

@CMW1995 Mafia rigatoni?

[thomarv]

You should check out Tradze

[adamhully]

Oh god! i almost choked at "PASTA MAFIA MINISTRONE!"

[OceanbornAngel]

Oh my God, it's the dolphins from that animated Titanic movie with the talking Octopus!

[dragonkeeper19600]

@OceanbornAngel Actually, if that movie had been about vengeful dolphins, it might not have been *quite* as bad.

[doodies]

Sounds like the Halo theme at the end... coincidence???

[zlipus]

brains! BRAIN! Bra-brains! Brainnnns... :(

[SonicRyan1992]

"Man overboard, baby!"

[olivertwiztid]

"He drew me for 70 years."

[shananagins2006]

I'm not going to be able to watch this with a straight face when it comes out in theaters again in April.

[textthing]

@shananagins2006

Wait a moment. 1. You would watch this in a theatre? Voluntarily? 2. This is coming out again in April???

[sov6rulz]

The dolphin part is hilarious!

[MrTestosterone100]

turn on caption and skip to 4:20

[TheFF07]

2:38-2:58

Never laughed that hard in my life.

[90dphillips]

1:48

[Codymau]

"I mean... Imagine me holding you through the cold dark night. My-My lips gently caressing your beautiful skin. Hehe hehe. I-Imagine that..."

[withthebirdillshare]

Heironymous FISTO, yes.

[TheSlevinCalevra]

death to the titanic!

[megaissa787878]

mmmmm verginia slims sir lol

[UKISOCIETY]

Cleveland steamer LOL

[xWhatsYourFandomx]

"Time for a crunk party...bitches."

I've found my new slogan.

[dgallegos4201]

Death to the titanic!

[Sutidude]

Mafia Rigatoni!?

[MrComoncur]

i loved the dolphin bit

[banananer16]

Unlike my supercilious lessons, which have paid for themselves...

I LOVE RIFFTRAX

[MrTheaterBasement]

00:15 I wish my Nana was like that. It would be nice.

[vamslaya]

i laughed so hard i drooled.

[reyes3162]

Might as well get ahead of it... Rose! Rose! Rose!

[Garyinspired95]

"No No! He doesn't need MORE water!" LOL

[msmissjordan1]

"i oughta kick yer arse!" LOL love that part!!!

[Kanefan701]

"I'm going to sink this bitch!" LMAO

[accountfish]

"The Zane train has arrived!"

"I'm going to sink this bitch!"

"Honey you left this morning without saying good morning to my money that's very rude."

"He drew me for 70 years."

"Brainss..Brainsss!"

[SamuraiPie8111]

Braains

[extremeXjapanophile]

Good lord, but I sure am short-sighted and wrong about everything, aren't I?

[TheRaptorfiend]

"Your cup of gin, sah."

best line ever

[summzzxoxo]

"Pasta, Mafia, Minestroni!" "Mafia Riggitoni?" "Franscesco Rinaldi!" "That's a spicey a-meatball!"

[slickksmith]

1:48 maybe the funniest second I have ever heard.

[TennizBall14]

oh my gosh. Rose should have stayed on the boat then Jack would have had the wood and then they would have lived together for the rest of their lives

[arocknrolldream]

Oh my God, I was laughing for about five minutes at the clown music. Funniest freaking thing... XD

[theblairwishproject9]

"circus music?" i thought it was the mad hatter music from alice in wonderland...

[CharlieWilson84]

The Zane train has arrived

[TheGameInformer]

look at that! they made the movie better!

[LOTR4ever1]

The Italian guy in Titanic sounds like Chico from the Marx Bros. Makes me laugh....

[rewardischeeze]

i just realized that on 2:35 they're doing circus music. lol she does kinda look like a clown!

[PoisonInc]

"He envisioned a steamer."

"Made in Cleveland."

D'oh!

[KAPTAINmORGANnWo4eva]

Hieronymus? The only Hieronymus I know is...STOP RIGHT THERE, CRIMINAL SCUM!

[Shockeye00]

The dolphins had me gasping for breath I was laughing so hard

[LOTR4ever1]

@Shockeye00 Greatest. Moment. Ever.

[kurvos]

Kit Fisto's great great great grandfather was onboard? Uhm... you do know Star Wars takes place "a long time ago", right? :P

[NateSean]

And now it's coming out in 3D....

[inconvenientruth1]

awwww......OH MY GOD!

[RinoaHSquallL]

"Where is your head cake?"

[broadwaymelody33]

@RinoaHSquallL

I didn't get that one at first, then I played it again, realized the joke, and proceeded to spray Pepsi all over the front of my hoodie.

[ResQ198]

love Rifftrax, I have bought a few of them and cant wait to get this one

[BlueAx]

"I'm going to sink this bitch!"

[90dphillips]

@BlueAx Oh my gosh YES! Best part for sure lol I'm still dying of laughter just from that!

[MrAkmalDanish]

In Honor of Gloria Stuart.

[Volleyballgirl98]

1:15 is the best " god gosh but im surtenly hard sided and wrong about everthing aren't I NOW HAND ME those tnt id like to blow my nose into.

[mario0318]

@Volleyballgirl98 wow dude. funny part but you seriously misquoted the fuck out of that line

[Volleyballgirl98]

1:15 is the best " god gosh but im surtenly hard sided and wrong about everthing (chuckles)

[randogg1133]

"He envisioned a steamer, made in Cleveland." Heh, good one:)

[DomIstKrieg]

Never understand the joke about the head cake. Anyone?

[EnigmaDrath]

@DomIstKrieg

I think they were referring to those hats the ladies are wearing in the scene; Rose isn't wearing one, so they're pretending her mother's asking her where her hat/head cake is.

[DomIstKrieg]

@EnigmaDrath Oh yeah, i never even noticed the hats. Cheers.

[TheTimeSmith]

Those freakin Dolphins, man.

[janeaustenfreak]

The clown music killed me every time. XD

[budzin303]

i gonna crash this bitch!

[Kaweebo]

Hehe, man overboard baby.

[masterermac]

Is it me or does Rose's mom remind me of Harpo....

[scirius14]

@masterermac There is something distinctly Harpo-esque about her.... Also, you are officially awesome for knowing who Harpo Marx is.

[masterermac]

@scirius14 Yes that's what I was thinking, especially in the scene where they add the clown music. Also I had just watched the Twilight rifftrax, and was fresh off some "I'm Harpo!" :)

[Nelsonhojax15]

"I'm gonna sink this bitch!" and "Man overboard baby" were my favorites!

[OmegaII]

"Boop boop boop..." Win!

[madamtorsion]

This makes me want to go out and buy Titanic on DVD. And I hate that movie.

[Fotclove]

Lmfao!! I'll set this bad boy to 420 in case the leader of the salvage expedition is a pot head. That'll blow his mind! Hahaha totally lol!

[NewGuy2534]

@jooljetkmae It'll blow his mind

[NewGuy2534]

Aw---AAAHH!! Oh my God!

He drew me for seventy years.

[DesMotsInsenses]

good lord i am short sighted and wrong about everything aren't i.. now hand me those shares of at & t id like to blow my nose on them

[eruption257]

Oh Christ, the calliope music....

[BlankVanHelsing]

Honey, you left today without saying goodbye to my money. That's very rude."

Fantastic.

[kallgoren]

5:13 minutes of non-stop laughing. "Now I'm a bag!" I died.

[TheInstantClassic1]

Heranusmus Fisto......Heranusmus Fisto......pfff, LOL I just got it XDXDXD

[princesskyrie]

@TheInstantClassic1 I thought they meant the name Hieronymus...

[chichigirrl2]

2:39 XDDD

[BlueEyes7452]

Mmmmm, Virginia Slim, Sir?

[johnny13r]

im going to sink this bitch

[JoeCoolMaveric]

"Good lord, but I am certainly wrong and shortsighted about everything, aren't I? Now hand me those shares of AT&T, I would like to blow my nose on them."

[PNI2]

Hey guys, just a thought, can we stop thumbing up the riffs? It kind of ruins them when you've already read them before you've heard them for real.

[zoby1996]

"death to titanic!!" LMFAOOOO

[SiriusBlackAttack19]

The silly clown sog at 2:40 made me laugh out loud.

[summerlvralwys]

The dolphins. OH MY GOD

[RaaasNG]

"where is your head cake?" lmfao dead.

[EnigmaDrath]

You know what I just realized: fucking Rose and Jack sunk the Titanic. If they weren't making happy monkeys out on deck and distracting the look-outs none of it would have happened. There you have it, people. Love sunk the Titanic XD

[CyberSlayer128]

@EnigmaDrath Ya, Rifftrax said that 0.o

Not in this video but in the full rifftrax you hear them say about at some point

[EnigmaDrath]

@CyberSlayer128

LOL Seriously? Wish I could watch the whole Rifftrax, but you have to order it online and I can't :(

[dragonkeeper19600]

@EnigmaDrath That didn't matter. They wouldn't have been able to turn in time, anyway.

[textthing]

@EnigmaDrath

Well, lust, strictly speaking.

[BlueSugarMaple]

SEXYTIME HIGH FIVE! IT'S NICE~!!!

[limmywinks]

I'm going to sink this bitch.

[criggs187]

PASTA MAFIA MINESTRONE!!!

...

MAFIA RIGATONI?

[MsCrispay]

"MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMVirginia Slim, sir?" hahahaha

[StarWarsStory]

There's a ladder on this thing, we can get down!

[Kuvera803]

"Where is your head cake?"

[BionicTurtleWizard]

I loved the dolphins

Death to the titanic!

[BonsaiTheTreeKangaro]

i just realized that the guy who lost the tickets is really lucky

[purseus]

@BonsaiTheTreeKangaro yea he was 

[lastxwriter]

Aaw, my favorite line isn't in here. "Hey Todd, I bet I can count to 15 before I hit! 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10-11-12-13-­14-15! I win!"

[lasseriks]

2:53 sweaty butthole fire?

[InfiniteIndustries]

I do believe it is time for a crunk party.

Indubitably

[TweekleDee]

I love when they crack each other up.

[EvermenEXE]

XD Kit Fistos Great Great Grandfather Her-anus-mus FISTO XD

[bandman232]

HATE-LEONARDO-DICAPRIO-SO-MUCH­!!!!!!

[godbluffvdgg]

Set this bad boy to 4:20 just in case some pothead leads the salvage expedition... It's gonna blow his mind... Totally...

[superMETRIOD346]

Hahaha I'm going to sink this bitch.

[TheClassicac]

2:38-2:55 LMFAO!!!



[HankJwimbleton876]

*SPOLIER ALERT*

He sunk that bitch. Sunk her good.

[babeeshopiez123]

when they do the carnival funhouse sound to roses mother i LAUGHED MY FUCKING ASS OFF

[guillermo4077]

lmao



[c0mbineelite]

Cleveland steamer. lol

[Dragonrose36]

Anti-public-sodomy laws. Thank god I wasn't drinking at that moment!

[MoviesFromG]

Lol public sodomy.

[LastoftheGeeks]

Rose! Rose! Rose!

[IFAIL317]

This is underated

[HarmlessVampire13]

2:20 Completely lost it xD

[NewGuy2534]

Death to the Titanic!!

[1997Mileyfan]

Captain: I'm going to sink this bitch.

Funniest joke ever!!!!

[Wiiguy07]

Bill: "Sexy time a high five is nice!"

Kevin: hey, i think it's Borat!

[LOTR4ever1]

From 1:22 to 1:44= greatest Riff bit of all time.

[McflyMcMurderface]

I raped a werewolf while being mind controlled by that bastard Shatner! I blame the government!

[SkylineofStorm2]

"eh businesses bond issues commerce quarterly earnings tax recession"

"eh beer liquor smoking sweaty *BURP* ehhh i'll kick yer arse..."

L...M...A...O.

[cdjford17]

The Zane train has arrived ladies! Omg that killed me and " time for a crunk party.. Bitches. ;)

[bluesonic115]

...lightsaber??? XD

[SkylineofStorm2]

"time for a crunk party....bitches..."

[PyrozPlayground]

The clown music at 2:20 and every time after that, was priceless! XD

[mgabrysSF]

@PyrozPlayground

Agreed I'm still cleaning the tear duct ejaculation off the lenses of my glasses on those.

[cavernism]

PASTA MAFIA MINESTRONE. ....Mafia rigatone?

[Mst3kfanatic1]

@gumstuckinmybraces why would you sob? this movie is not sad, unless you sob from laughing at it (without the rifftrax).

[Mst3kfanatic1]

I wonder if they had second officer lightoller in this as he was the only surviving senior crewmember of the titanic

[Ashergan]

@Mst3kfanatic1 I believe he is the guy saying he'll 'shoot them all like dogs', seen earlier - At least going by the imdb script and trivia info.

[Mst3kfanatic1]

@Ashergan he was also the guy who threatening them that " i will be forced to look more like Stefan Emburg (or something like that)"

[Ashergan]

@Mst3kfanatic1 Nah that was the riffers! ;)

[Mst3kfanatic1]

@Ashergan i know that you think im that stupid. it was a joke as in they were doing a voiceover so it was like he was saying dont you dare try to make me look dumb.

[Ashergan]

@Mst3kfanatic1 Sorry you feel that way, I was not trying to insult you. I was just joking back in return. Not sure what else I can say.

[Mst3kfanatic1]

@Ashergan next time make sure you "joke" isn't insulting. there are people besides you who know what the riffers sound like you know.

[skittles007]

@Ashergan LOL, wow. I want to give you a hug, buddy. That kid doesn't know what a REAL insult is.

[Mst3kfanatic1]

the most touching part of this movie was not when rose makes a promise to jack but when the two old people are laying in the bed together, that few seconds with them had more love than all of jack and roses's throughout the whole movie.

[SAOrules]

"I guess 1912's anti-public sodomy laws don't apply on the ocean"

[CallMeVox]

Honey you left today without saying good morning to my money, thats very rude.

[Blehhh49]

4:54 I can't believe I didnt know that was Ioan Gruffudd until I watched this Riff. xD

[FantasmaLuna]

"Death to the Titanic!"

[canodog69]

"Time for a crunk party, bitches!"

[Jaws2891]

Time for a crunk party...bitches..

[TheT4xid3rmist]

Be careful with this one. You may lose your youtube account...

[Polymorphidz]

I went to Wookiepedia but I couldn't find an article about Geronmus Fisto