Patton Oswalt owning 2 girls

[drago884]

Yeah he was pretty pissed on the inside, funny on the outside because he's a pro. But I understand him and other performers - whether you're a stand up comic, a speaker of some other kind, a musician -whatever- Arrogant-Faggot-Cunts that go to an event you're performing at and try to act like they are still the most important person in the world are fucking annoying beyond the norm. If they were just being AFC's elsewhere it's OK, you can think 'they don't know any better'. But here they do.

[joshtube9]

Unless the comedian is a complete and utter moron, a heckler has no chance against a comedian because the comedian has the mike, and can use it to turn the audience against the heckler. And if the heckler DOES manage to get off a good one, the comedian can out-shout them.

[pancakewafflebacon]

he's so pissed off lol

[tekbarrier]

I adding this to my favorites. I'm hoping to become a standup comic in the near future and I could learn from his antiheckler tactics. Hilarious jabs at those stupid bitches who should have been ktfo for being so dumb.

[xavierpaquin]

Why be shitty to people who are shitty? You don't like them because they're shitty... and you're gonna be shitty too?

[hippotoast]

@xavierpaquin Shut up you tard.

[xavierpaquin]

@hippotoast He's saying he's not agnry when he's clearly angry. And then he's insulting them to make them leave... They're ruining his show, it's a legitimate reason to be angry, and to ask them to leave would also be legitimitate. No need to be shitty about it.

[jefftam1234]

@xavierpaquin He's a comedian, he gets paid to be shitty to people who deserves it.

GTFO if you don't like it.

[WalterLiddy]

@xavierpaquin Because if you don't humiliate people for acting like assholes they'll just keep it up. And other people will think that's acceptable behavior. But if you do humiliate them you get the fucking message across that it's not fucking okay.

[YouCanCallMeCharlz]

The best part is that Patton can say anything he wants for however long he wanted and that bitch couldn't do a fucking thing about it. lol

[adamallegretta]

remy porn

[bigtimeplayers]

Hopefully no kid ever watches this

[FatMat426]

I LOVE YOU PATTON!

[VannahWilson]

I've had friends bring trash bags of popcorn to school. Best lunch periods of my LIFE.

[thedarkknightfall]

It's funny until 6 minutes in. Then it becomes hilarious

[Allyspill]

Danm Remy's got a potty mouth

[cayterr]

hahahaha shit

[xshymex]

Patton is the man

[judgeculph]

"You're money's in my pocket you moron I don't give a fuck, who gives a shit" oh man that's awesome.

[DemonWarp65]

oh christ, I am so doing the deformed tactic the next time some rat-bastard's kid makes a noise!

[pfalstad]

Had to stop at 8:08, I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe.

[rgk2011]

funny

[PhillipD8486]

What does he say at 8:03?

[scwt89]

@PhillipD8486 "would you shut the fuck up, i'm trying to watch the movie"

[PowBlock96]

@iweargoggles2 Well, if you talk on the phone in a night club during a show you paid to see, you really are a cunt.

[MaggotMan1234]

@iweargoggles2

You don't fucking talk during a live performance, it's common fucking sense XD

[NobleBattery]

Pee, therapy.

[utubeaccount00]

hecklers are always dumb entitled bitches

[GiantSnowman]

Does anybody know if this the show this bit is from is available anywhere? Or was it just recorded by a fan?

[skippydeenice]

dammit i lost my best hack in a storm drain someone must have been eating steak

[ucla4eva]

Love Patton Oswalt...him and Carolla are genius'.

[GoalieRealmUSA]

@ucla4eva carolla? are you fucking kidding me?

[Almayse]

This wasn't Pat's best improv. He's had much better moments. I could literally feel him reaching for things to say about the situation.

[sgtpepper1138]

Was this taken off of vinyl? I can hear the little tiny clicks.

[rickyjshiznit]

@jspin1103 read the annotations, he voiced the character.

[Zigeunerweisen20]

Patton only comes across my corner of the world once every few years and these stupid bitches get a chance to see him and talk on a cell phone?! What a waste of space.

[safetythird86]

This track was on a Patton Oswalt/The Melvins split record

[themaximum9901]

Those two girls and their mothers dislike this video. One of them created another account so she could add a 5th dislike.

[chessunderground]

wow

[Antichrys]

yeah, loved Run Lola Run... badass soundtrack in that movie

[Davorus]

It wasn't even that funny. He played into it too much like he was grasping for jokes.

[johanneslabusch]

@Davorus Which one of the cell phone ladies are you?

[GoblinXXX]

@Davorus It's called "improv". That's why you go to see live performances.

[RawJagged]

@GoblinXXX well he failed could barely improvise that other shit he already wrote

[ecwthugs]

@RawJagged You wish you had balls that big.

[hirothemouse]

I wonder if these girls watched Ratatouille

[DoubtfulGrace]

Even as a girl, I cant imagine a phone call worth NOT listening to Patton Oswalt, paid or not. He made their misery funny. So much talant! :D

[GoblinXXX]

@DoubtfulGrace Hey, people have to be TOLD it's a bad idea to text while driving. Nothing surprises me.

[DoubtfulGrace]

@GoblinXXX

LOL the most retarded intellect. XD

[ZaneBarrow]

The fact that this is coming from Rémy's voice actor makes this all the more hilarious.

[reannamator]

Patton's my hero.

[itsacouch]

Those fucking bitches--stupid cunts--make me wish I was straight.

[itsacouch]

If she's gonna get mad for being called a cunt, maybe she shouldn't FUCKING BE ONE.

[I3M4N162]

Wat does he say at 8:00?

[icarus313]

@I3M4N162

He said:

"...And you make it look all deformed and fucked up. And you kind of, lean out of the darkness and go..."

Hope that helps!

[I3M4N162]

"You lost when you walked in." EPIC!

[ManAboutTown1000]

Aside from Patton getting pissed, two people having a cell phone conversation had to be pissing off the people around them. He did that audience a favor.

[drstew42]

@greenbumho "Yeah this guy sucks."

Yes.

YOU do.

What's it like having no sense of humor whatsoever?

Fucktard moron.

[cougarinthesack]

1, 2, 3...three kings there they are haha

[Fuchi900]

This is from a vinyl record Patton did with the band The Melvins. The title of the track is called "The Two Dumbest C*nts In The World"

[curtis222]

too bad there's no video

[xJoeEDangerouslyx]

Agreed

[TheKiffles]

This is why Patton is one of the best comedians. Insult the shit out of someone and make it hilarious and not even give a damn.

[cjfurtado]

The 2 people who "disliked" this must have been the two broads he was talking about....

[digi9ten]

"Popcorn salty, shoes tight..."

[SmokeyCough]

I felt worse for patton than the girls... he kinda sounded sad.. :\

[pretorious700]

you can say what you want about guys, but women are the dumbest asses ever

[mengle2004]

Patton so rocks!

[AmericanBadass44]

Who's the one dislike? Is it her?

[CoolerKing37]

One, two, three. 3 Kings. There they are.

[loudfastrulez]

This is on a split with the Melvins. Patton did a fucking split cd with the Melvins!

[theungreatkahli]

LOL what an idiot.

[TheRealDerfMan]

Love the way he handles the two cunts, but the last bit (starting around 5:55) cracked me the fuck up....! Awesome!!

[DrStrangefate]

"You are the two dumbest cunts I've ever seen in my life."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Patton win

[doctender77]

Patton is really mean..... its hilarious!

[47bloodhound]

Patton Oswalt is a legend!

[tbzeee]

this is from a 2006 split 7" with the melvins that was released by chunklet magazine. they're super hard to find now & i don't think this bit appears anywhere else, so thanx for posting.

[someamerican]

LOL I love how he just can't get over the fact that she's on a cellphone.

[pattitube]

I've seen hecklers get owned live before, but this is the best I've ever seen. Even better than Bill Hicks.

[Moofy808]

I could see why he'd be annoyed.

We all basically live this when we go to public places all the time!

>:o

[SteamrollerViolin]

Dear Patton,

Let us have sexual relations and eat steak together.

[slambamdancer]

8:04 is brilliant!

[knottytrevor]

FUCK YOU, LIVER.

[culvre]

patton was merciless!

[Squibfire]

i hate myself forever, i got confused a few months ago thanks to my friend and thought i had already missed his show in orlando (an hour from me) but i just found out today its in 4 fucking days and its too late for me to go now, PATTON PLEASE FORGIVE ME AND PLEASE DO A SECOND SHOW OR SOMETHING, I NEED TO SEE YOU!!!!!!!!!!

[Reisgar42]

I saw him in Madison, WI a couple months ago and he is just amazing at owning idiots doing stuff during his shows.

[SuperMelLowD]

It was apparent that these two were unable to recognize the voice of reason after 15 seconds. Patton painfully tried for about 6 minutes to get an answer to his question, "Why did you even come to the show?". So what have we learned? Yes, some people operate on the same intellectual level as paint sniffers.

[Soundboy6]

That was fucking glorious

[GratuitousWhimsy]

3:50

"AWESOME"

[2low2rl]

YESTICLES!!!!

[bloodr0cuted]

I think hecklers can really add a lot to a comedy show, they test the improvisational skills of the comedian. That being said, this was hilarious.

[Squibfire]

@bloodr0cuted occasionally they can add to the show if the comedian happens to be in a good mood and can make a good bit out of it like this, but 9 out of 10 times they just make things really uncomfortable and they tend to not shut up and it really brings things down, ive been to a lot of shows and rarely do the people do a really good job against the hecklers, except for Henry Rollins who fucking RIPPED into this guy, it was amazing, when its good its GREAT and when its bad it SUCKS lol

[GoblinXXX]

@Squibfire I could see Henry Rollins just going down and beating the shit out of a heckler. You'd have to be REAL drunk to heckle HIM!

[liamkendrick42]

@GoblinXXX my brother did it quite a few years ago... he sat there and took it because he had no response to the fact that he single handedly destroyed the band Black Flag

[Rjmorg]

@GoblinXXX Oh god, Henry Rollins beat the fuck out of this one kid just for touching him

[Hollygirl757]

Those stupid girls were messing up the whole flow of his show, but he's so awesome at what he does that he just made it great anyway. I love this guy. I can just see those girls sitting there in a huff for the rest of the show trying not to cry. Greatness!

[Macgunny]

Did she die?

[AUSROTTENY2K]

They fucking deserved it. Women are the most annoying hecklers cause they're there just to be attention whores and show off in front of their ugly friends. They're probably just bitter that most women comedians are shit and want to take it out by heckling everyone. Too bad. Dumb cunts.

[AUSROTTENY2K]

1:39 THE BEST!!!! LOL

[Bear5177]

ROFLMAO!!! Hilarious!

[hughmbaezue]

HaHa! Love this man!!

[Nanaman12345]

This is the biggest win in existence!

[Jneb666]

"PEE.....therapy.." Patton is always on fire and original.

[SportInjectionR]

HAHAHA 162 likes and 1 dislike, $5 says it was one of the stupid bitches that got owned. I wonder if this show was done in Jersey? I would have poured a full beer on each of those dumb sluts.

[napalmdeathfan13591]

Patton is so great

[McScreenName]

I've seen people answer their phone in CLASS before...a small, quiet class.

[supervanillabear4]

He's right... Run Lola Run is an awesome movie.

[clone63742]

lol I cant go to the movie theater either, I ALWAYS have to be the parent of the audience and tell them the shut up!

[DanIsAces]

@greenbumho

If he sucks, why is his audience laughing? Troll somewhere else.

[n3ubsickle]

@greenbumho

Yeah this shit sucks, but you should give him another chance. Alot of his other written stuff is pretty good.

[purplenurps]

The word cunt doesn't sound right when it's not in an English accent.

[mentalillnesstalking]

@purplenurps purple nurples-an American innovation doesn't sound right as a British or Irish screen name

[purplenurps]

@mentalillnesstalking My screen name that makes no noise doesn't sound right? Even there is no noise with no accent coming from it.

[DenOfVipers]

A man in his late 30s, ladies and gentlemen.

[junkmailboy1000]

Remy the rat destroys

[cryptsub]

god i wish i could see this - he's totally destroying these stupid cunts

[cryptsub]

god i wish i could see this - he's totally destroying these stupid cunt

[LookLoveShoot]

i love when patton handles hecklers. hes so funny

[purpleSun6292]

hahaha he destroyed her.

[EdenGeek]

UN-BELIEVABLE. yes. love it.

[Denoyelleify]

hahahaha awesome!

[Tapeleg247]

when was this recorded?

[frollun2]

stupid people... they surround us.

[Zombie1990]

People who think Patton is an asshole don't understand how comedy clubs work.

[reckoner22]

@Zombie1990

he's right. at the start, listen to how loud she is. she's just as loud as he is, she deserves it completely. drunk bitches imo.

[papavb]

thanks for posting , i heard this a long time ago and tried to find that Run Lola Run bit in my collection to no avail. I think it was titled "Two Dumb Cunts" haha

[Aphasia17]

your money is in my pocket already moron LOL

[astrogirl842000]

I want to see Patton Oswalt live soooo bad and the fact that this bitch is interrupting him just pisses me off.

[gszx1337]

@astrogirl842000 Well, if she didn't interrupt him, this video wouldn't have been made. :)

[Metalfanmusicfan]

How stupid do you have to be in order for you to be on a phone during any form of live entertainment? That girl got exactly what she deserves.

[jek21]

Destroyed

[djl5555]

Thanks for the post!  This is great!

[PennyDreadfuI]

i have two cracked ribs atms... but i just fucked one up laughing so hard at the deformed hand in the darkness...

[Bettymae1388]

run lola run! fuck yes

[thehillbillymoon]

I really like Patton but I have a certain opinion about males who use the c word on a woman.

[Flatliner0452]

@thehillbillymoon what? the woman better deserve it like those two did?

[jspin1103]

@thehillbillymoon It's too bad you feel that way because that word is the best one to address narcissistic women. They DESERVED and ASKED for it. They desperately needed to be publicly humiliated like that.

[TheHuntress144]

@thehillbillymoon

i love that you are chivilrous enough to refuse to use that word against a woman, but seriously some of them really deserve it and i say this as a lady.

[dovegrey1]

EPIC EPIC EPIC!!!!!!! Love Patton----- he should be crowned King and those bitches must bow down to him each day!

[XcatisX]

Patton is the best at this! He's awesome with improv.

[yamon98]

Patton is so great

[FriedAbortions]

look at these two retards LOL

what CD is this on

[buskama]

@FriedAbortions

This isn't off any CD, I mean it's possible but I just stumbled onto it and thought it was hilarious so I made a video out of it and threw it on youtube. The website i found it on was like a blog or something (cant remember the site name) and the only thing related to patton was about this confrontation.. there was nothing more about patton on the website except this one audio clip which I downloaded then through on youtube.

[thevoidinclusive]

@FriedAbortions this actually appears on the Melvins / Patton split 7" vinyl

this is titled "The Two Dumbest C*nts In The World"

[jerik86]

@FriedAbortions It's from a Patton Oswalt/Melvins split 7inch released by Chunklet Magazine. The track's official name is "The Two Dumbest Cunts in the World"

[SiccaD216]

@FriedAbortions

It's off of warewolves & lollipops

[precenphix]

8:05

Can't...catch...breath!

[willissippi]

Ha! Your money is in my pocket you moron. Awesome!

[JamRunner]

it's not mean. You don't go into a symphony and begin whistling your own tune in the middle of the performance. Same with stand-up. Sure, comedians won't mind a few people whispering or saying a few things here and there, but when you're ON THE PHONE and talking pretty loud (you can hear her talking in the beginning) while they're performing and other people payed to listen to him/her and not you yapping away on your phone, it's downright disrespectful.

[itstherevolution]

A-M-A-Z-I-N-G! lol a retard like that is such a gift for a comedian!

[Seriona]

Here they come to shut you up, you're fucking retards!

[Montork]

8 mins of SMACKDOWN

[malimillions]

He's been my favorite for a long time but OH good LORD this is perfect! OWNS! I'm going to have to do this the next time some vain twit makes all the conversation in an entire room stop to make us listen to her cell phone convo and how apparently important she is. Thank you so much for posting this! :)

[strongbad4usean]

wow he said cunt

[CaptainScruffyBeard]

Holy shit Patton is my hero

[buskama]

what's mean? Patton or the stupid bitch with bad manners in the audience who I'd like to punch in the face?

[Tulkastaldo]

Patton wins forever.

[squanto2]

Patton SMASH!!!!

[MusicJew158]

Holy Shit this is awkwardly mean