Re: Dirty Limericks

[righteous09]

there once was a woman from Yealing,

who had a peculiar feeling.

so she lay on her back

and opened her crack

and pissed all over the ceiling.

[Cannyzcandi]

1, this guys a pedo

2. he needs to get laid, BADLY

3. This sounds an awful lot like my friend from san franny!, you did her wrong sonny

[FishNoLegs]

On the tits of a whore named Gail

She had tattooed the price of her tail

And on her behind

For the sake of the blind

Was the same nformation in braille.

[FishNoLegs]

There was a young lad from Kent

Whose dick was so long, it bent

To save himself trouble,

He went in her double

And istead of coming, he went!

[FishNoLegs]

There was a young lad from Hoboken

On the priest's chicken, he chokin'

The lad spat out the prick,

Cried "Father Benedict!"

Who replied, "It's not bent, it's broken!"

[Crimedog3333]

A do-it-yourselfer named Alice.

Used a dynamite stick for a phalus.

They found her vagina.

In South Carolina.

And a part of her anus in Dallas.

[Blinkazoid]

MUCH better than mine, LOL.

[whinerline]

There's 1:25 of my life that I'll never get back. YOU SUCK!!!

[slinkie587]

fackin lame

[jtat327]

SHUT IT!

[tyedevonhannah]

wow... could i have 1:25 of my life back please?

i think im gunna hang upside down in my closet and piss on myself...

[brettbrettbrett87234]

this is not a limerick

but seriously hecklers need practice so you should be a standup comedian

(just kidding quit this shit)

[joshthestreaker]

u suck ahole

[lca99eagles]

what a douche, that made no sense

[MandJ16to89]

Ok That Was Good

[OasisLessons93]

fuckin shit

[mrradiochicken]

it sounds like if dr. suess wrote a dirty poem

[mohdfigo]

wow thats nice poem (whats your name??)

[brittany199]

one gassy woman now...

stange dirty "poem" lol

[Furnifur]

fart fart fart fart fart um and fart. eyeballs in a cup lol

[Blinkazoid]

They actually had to superglue the cork in there so it would stay:)))

[cooksterz]

somehow, the eyeballs are far from what we can really take away from this limmerick's lesson!! I still see the farting.... :P LMAO

[Blinkazoid]

I didn't mention it but the eyeballs were smoking as they lay in the coffee cup so no wonder they remind you of farting.

[megalisstudio]

I've been to those types of wine tastings.....cool man!!

[Blinkazoid]

LOL. Be *sure* and take a video camera with you the next time... uhmm, then again maybe not. Was that one of those wine tastings in Tijuana:)))

[yumenotenshi07]

Blinky... that was... very strange. Lol.

[Blinkazoid]

Hehehehehe. Well, you know me, I'll always take that as a compliment, LOL. Nice to see you again Yume!!! It's been a while.

[yumenotenshi07]

Indeed. Sorry about that. I've been busy... and even though I usually watch my subscription updates, I haven't felt much like commenting lately. :\

[Blinkazoid]

No problem. I find it just about impossible to keep up with everyting myself these days I'm afraid.

[phaedress]

Well, I recognise who this is about! LOL!

[Blinkazoid]

Darn, and I tried to conceal the identity of the limrickee so hard!!!

[mysteryglo]

Cute limerick.  Love your haircut!!

[Blinkazoid]

Thanks Judy:)

[Joan3424]

There was a man on YouTube

who probably smoked a doob

he made a limerick to the "Nut"

and he looked great with his new haircut!

Joanie :-)

[Blinkazoid]

Hehehehe, thank you so much for the great limerick Joanie:) I think your's flatters me a little bit more than mine did Nutcheese, LOL.

[debbiez112]

Great job! :)

[Blinkazoid]

Many thanks Debbie:)

[foundonline]

I hope no one gets shot with a cork!

[Blinkazoid]

Hopefully they used superglue or else were talking about a walking lethal weapon, LOL.

[Blinkazoid]

Thanks for stopping by mikma. Free grape juice and gas masks are available on a complimentary basis.

[LeSaMilano]

You know as soon as I got wind of this video I just had to blow in.

You are indeed crowned Sir Blink, Poet Laureate of YouTube. Farts and Uvulas have been elevated to a whole new level.

Lesley:)

[Blinkazoid]

Thank Lesley:) Let me get my flashlight out. Now say Ahh. Hmmmm. It looks like you have an elevated uvula young woman!!! There's several cures, but all of them are worse than the disease, LOL.

[LeSaMilano]

ok, first reply I've read this morning. Thanks Blink. I'm awake now!! :O

[Blinkazoid]

Ok probably this is the last comment I'll read before going to sleep, LOL. Glad I could help wake you up:))

[LeSaMilano]

I noticed the time- 2:40 am there!! nighty night! :)

[KillTrend]

lmfao... I know as soon as the limerick started it was about someone you knew. What a terrible, terrible limerick... haha.

[Blinkazoid]

Hehehehe. Beware the limericks of Blinkazoid, LOL.

[wrongdom]

HAHA! Talent, talent,talent!!

Hugs to you on this Monday ~

[Blinkazoid]

Many thanks for stopping by and flinging a comment compliment my direction Chas. (((HUGS))) back:)

[Moonchimes]

Blinky--you are such a multi-talented individual. hehe. Hugs,~Moonchime♥

[Oddsweb]

YOUR BACK! WELCOM HOME :¬))

[Moonchimes]

Thank you dear friend. I just couldn't stay away. Hey, check out my YT CNN debate question. It's number 1994. Do you think they will use it? LOL. It was sooo hard for me to keep a straight face for 28 seconds. Hugs,~Moonchime♥

[Blinkazoid]

Thanks Moonchime:) (((HUGS)))

[Sanwings]

You always make me smile !!! OH MYYYYYY!!! What a mind....you are greatttt..thanks for the smiles this Monday...I like the new dooooooo....hugs

[Blinkazoid]

Thanks Sanwings:) Ya, I thought it was time for a bit of a trim. Now I'm good to go for another 6 months or so, LOL.

[OHTXAZ]

L O L.....That Was Funny Blinky. ;00

Roberta

[Blinkazoid]

Many thanks Roberta!!!

[viddareff]

noooo no popping eyeballs! ... uhmm... *grin*

[Blinkazoid]

Hehehehe. Well thankfully it wasn't a cup of steaming coffee or anything. She can always pop them back in when she's done venting, LOL.

[NutCheese]

Bawhahaha... what a way to start my morning! I have been threatened by someone with a cork before... actually more than once. That was great :D

[Blinkazoid]

LOL, why does that not surprise me. I'm really glad you liked it:)))

[TasteLikePoison]

Hahaha!! Good one^^

[Blinkazoid]

Many thanks TasteLikePoison:)))

[bugsinrug]

Hee hee heee !!! You're a nut! Nutcheese?!!! hugs, Chris

[Blinkazoid]

Yep. You are correct. You win a door prize... which is lots of Hugs!

{{{{{HUGS}}}}} I love door prizes:)

[dl737]

Farting; San Fran - Hmmm I wonder who that could be? LOL.

[Blinkazoid]

Hmmmm. It's a question for the ages. I tell ya. Maybe someday I'll reveal the answer, LOL.

[sonyflores]

NUTCHEESE!!!!!!!!!

[Blinkazoid]

Yep, the one and only!!! There's a line in Bohemian Rhapsody that goes. "Any way the wind blows doesn't really matter to me". Quite obviously whoever wrote that had never meet Nutcheese, LOL.

[samsarajade]

lol, love your original poems! heehee (and the protagonist of the piece does sound familiar ;) )

[Blinkazoid]

Thanks Tia:) I'm glad you liked it!

[curt344]

Gee, I wonder who THIS was about.

;-D

[Blinkazoid]

Hmmmm, I wonder.....LOL. All I can say is thank God for her. I hadn't made a video in about 6 DAYS, so I'll take my inspiration from whatever source *Poops* into my mind.

[JealousGuy]

NICE! *puts on gas mask*

When I release the flood of poo

Don't it make my brown eyes blue..!

[Blinkazoid]

Thanks JealousGuy:) *Excellently* chosen one liner poem there. I think Linda Ronstadt might have sung that, LOL.

[Lethesunshine]

I like the haircut! Nice! I think I know who you're talking about in this poem. Not going to mention any names. (((Hugs))) ~Mimi~

[Blinkazoid]

Thanks Mimi:) Everyones been really good about not mentioning any names so far, LOL.

[NiteBlogger]

eew - what imagery AND the hell is that smell? LOL

[Blinkazoid]

Hehehe. Well the smell certainly isn't the bouquet of a fine wine, LOL.

[Traveler1967]

Well, I think the city gave away the inspiration for this poem. You are quite talented!!! She will love it!!! :-) Lisa

[Blinkazoid]

Thanks Lisa:) I might have to email her and alert her of this vid. We sub to each other but it's really easy to miss vids.

[SilliBue]

LOL I love your humor! Great job Blinky!

[Blinkazoid]

Many thanks Billi:)))

[Oddsweb]

lol, corker! ;¬D well all that pressure has to go some where..

[Blinkazoid]

Yep. When there's a pressure cooker on boil like that... *something's* gotta give!!!

[gabrielized]

There's an image I won't be able to get out of my head!!

[Blinkazoid]

If you see any strange goings on at any wine tastings you'll know what it's all about, LOL.

[gabrielized]

True! Thanks for the heads up!

[gwabir]

LOL, awesome!!!

GW

[Blinkazoid]

Thanks Gabriel:) And thanks again for including me in your last video!!!

[gwabir]

U are very welcome!! u are one of my favorites!! u sure know how to entertain!

GW

[liz1060]

There was a young man from the South

Who made gastrous sounds with his mouth.

He bespoke an art

Coming straight from his heart

In an ode to corking a fart.

[Blinkazoid]

Bravo Liz!!! I liked that one a LOT!!!

[liz1060]

Gracias, Blink. It's not kosher (the last line should rhyme with the first two) but I was late with my morning chores and didn't take time to ponder it proper like.

[adnerb924]

BLINK.. you are a POET!

well, a poet who writes poems about FARTS..but still..a poet!

BRAVO, BRAVISIMO...standing ovation! jajajaja

[Blinkazoid]

Thanks Brenda:) Ya, I think most of my poetry falls into the realm of the untraditional, LOL.

[MGB1000]

Cute...lol

[Blinkazoid]

Thanks Mary. But what did you think about the limerick? LOL.

[MGB1000]

ROFL...this is Rob, not Mary....lmao

VK did this to me once before. I though the limerick was cute. Mary might have thought you being cute....lol

[Blinkazoid]

Whoops, sorry about the mixup there Rob. I need to be more careful, LOL.

[MGB1000]

Yeah, if you trying to get ya girlfriend you need to watch more closer...lol. Shes probably watching all this now. hhehehehe

[KurtGnu]

Ha ha ha.. had you lived in the UK you would have been made Poet Laurate by the Queen for that.. and given the Nobel prize in Literature as well, for sure.. :)

[Blinkazoid]

Hehehe. Thanks for the nice compliment Rob! Darn it, sounds like I'm missing out on all sorts of perks by not being there. I wonder if I saved the world from rogue banana attacks if she would knight me, LOL.

[KurtGnu]

Unfortunately, no.. These Bananas have an agenda of their own.. But Sir Blink has a certain twang to it, don't you agree?? I'll mention your name next time I ring Charlie and Cams.. then he can have a chat with mummy and we'll see what happens.. :)

[Blinkazoid]

Thanks Rob!!! I appreciate you putting in a good word for me, LOL>

[MGB1000]

I think Mary's letters in her name is one letter off, so people get us mixed up.

[suburbanmom]

Very clever!

[Blinkazoid]

Thanks Alana:)))

[flydarling]

Oh I think I'll need to open all the doors and windows if she does a response for you. You're a cunning linguist, I'm still amazed you wrote on ode to Lesley's uvula. Cheers, Lesley

[Blinkazoid]

Thanks Lesley:) LeSaMilano challenged me to write that uvula poem. I said to myself there was NO WAY it would be possible, but out it popped. Sorta like a cork I guess, LOL. Hmmm "cunning linguist" sounds a little like it belongs in one of these limerick responses too, LOL.

[mybugaboo]

Wonderful! I just love your originality.

[Blinkazoid]

Thanks mybugaboo:)))

[wisemanthree]

LOL i loved it blinkazoid, it almost sounded like me on a good day lol :)

[Blinkazoid]

Thanks WisemanThree. Hey I've seen your videos. You make pretty good ones even on off days:)

[wisemanthree]

LOL!! off days, every day is an off day for me lol thanks though, i love your vids, ive just started coming round to watching them (eventually) lol

[brianrangeley]

dang! when I needed you to produce wind you failed! and then you go and do an entire production about it!!

Nice one!

[Blinkazoid]

Thanks Brian:) Producing wind can be a little hit and miss. Heck I drank a whole 2 Liter bottle of Dr. Pepper a while back and barely produced a few medium sized burps, LOL.

[patman2112]

Nice. Farts = funny

LOL

[Blinkazoid]

Thanks you two!!!

[sneakypreacher]

Has she heard your limerick yet? I"m just curious as to how she reacted. If I know her, she"ll definately have something to say...lol. Great job, Blink!

[Blinkazoid]

I'm pretty sure she hasn't heard it yet. I usually wait a while when I do anything like this to see if the person stumbles across it. I'll message her sometime during the day if she doesn't show up here.

[Pippilly]

ok i'm not from SF, so I'm safe lol!! Gee i wonder who it is ; ) Hahahahha that was just as cute as you. You are my goodnight video Nite nite and thanks for the laff

[Blinkazoid]

Thanks Michelle:) Goodnight. Get some sleep!

[FGAlxPx]

Nice rhyme busting, poetman! :) I was thinking about doing one of these as well... but I am too ashamed. (And lazy?)

[Blinkazoid]

Thanks Alex:) Well of course you don't have to write your own. You can google for one. I prefer the challenge of writing my own whether it turns out very good or not, LOL.

[angelboku1]

LOL .. @ 1st I thought you said there was PORK in the Wine! I kept thinking.. that makes NO sense.. It took me the 3rd listen to, to figure it out!

[angelboku1]

wait.. you did say PORK... omg, I'm so confused!

[Blinkazoid]

I probably should put the words in the description. "She went to a luau and a wine tasting" Luau's in the traditional sense sometimes cook a whole hog in a pit in the ground. Hence the *pork*. I'm taking the liberty of saying she had bits of pork stuck in her teeth or something which came out along with the wine she spit out at the wine tasting.

[angelboku1]

Gotcha.. that's for clearing up all my blonde confusion!!!! hehe

[angelboku1]

hahahaha .. poor little AlmondCheddar!!! That was great blinkazoid!!!

[Blinkazoid]

Thanks Angie:)))

[djoncho]

nice Blinkazoid very nice,

[Blinkazoid]

Many thanks djoncho:)

[askmisscris]

*whew* not from San Francisco hehehe but I know who is!!!!

[Blinkazoid]

Hehehe. You qualify on the cute little scrunchable face part of it, LOL. And ya, I don't think too many people will have that much trouble figuring this one out, LOL.

[askmisscris]

OMG I was first *cackles*

heheeh yes yes, the face scrunch :P

[Blinkazoid]

Yayyy You!!!