The Ultimate Aristocrats

[julianking93]

Anyone know who that comedian is at 2:08?

[stuntmanmike29]

"The siamese twins give each other reach-arounds and jerk each other off.." damn that joke is a classic!

[sdflksdfkfh]

This sucks.

[vandal9202]

O.O

[TheElectricDreamer93]

Mr.Feeny? XD

[hippie1936]

nope wasn't feeny.

[TheElectricDreamer93]

@hippie1936 - Kraft?

[hippie1936]

if kraft is a person

he is not i

[ubergossen]

think 2:13 is the funniest

[pyramidheadthingy]

THE SOPHISTICATES!?!

[julianking93]

Who is that at 2:07?

I cant remember his name and he was one of my favorite versions of this joke

[saintdenis11]

who is the guy who says the sophisticates at 4:16?

[BarracksSi]

Carrot Top: "I'm watching Full House,"

Probably the most disgusting act.. LOL

[Daniellomello]

"i'm blowin a load in the back of this hooker's head." i love it.

[Spondoo]

ROFL i was not prepared for 3:12 w/ george

[Xsniper90X]

thos the guy at 21 seconds in? he has an interesting version of it and its funny.

[SvenStears]

Who is that at 2:16 ?

[ted37]

4:33 RON JEREMY hahahahha

[purplecat11]

F**K! I wanted to take a shower after hearing that one..

[sclogse1]

Actually for suffering listening to all the goo in the joke, that never seems to end, it's not that funny. Now the shaving of the wifes back was cool.

[IAmAdamIAm]

That's not Michael Moore. It's Bruce Vilanch.

[cooliovasquez]

I was kidding...

[cooliovasquez]

haha at 0:51 its michael moore

[BuddySweyzer]

It's not like all fat people are named Michael Moore

[killmysister]

then the european colonizers are brought in and are forced to fuck these pilgrims in a big circle. the catch? they all have to put on razor blade condoms while fucking each other. after this blood orgy ends, they are forced to swallow buckets of pig shit coming down a massive funnel. After this feast of pork feces, they are cut up like cattle and served to a talent agent. the agent goes "wow, this is quite the act, what do u call it?" Chinese God says proudly, "THE ARISTOCRATS"

[killmysister]

Tyler cries for his mother, but then his mother is sucking God's dick vigorously, as if the antidote was in there... the mother tells Tyler to "fuck off biotch", and proceeds to take God's cock up her tight pink cunt. God is in ecstacy, but still has the wrath to send a screaming fireball towards Tyler, which incinerates his prepubescent white body. Buddha comes in and takes the ashes and laces it with opium and smokes it with Squanto. pilgrims from times of yore are brought in as sex slaves

[killmysister]

but when he tries to save them, he jams his fist into his son's giant pumpkin-asshole, and gets sucked into this black hole. the father disappears from the face of the universe, and Chinese God just says "fuck it", and conjures Africanized honey bees to burrow into their skins in order to sting their internal organs. their bodies burst into flames, while God is fucking Gwnyeth Paltrow on a motorcycle. he rides the motorcycle over a white kid named Tyler who then shits his tighty whiteys

[killmysister]

then the crackers are forced to sing a song with the chorus being "we, the honkeys, deserve to die, deserve to see jesus cry, as he bleeds for no goddamn reason, the cross is fake, i just got raked, and please Chinese God, won't you give me gape?" if this doesn't please God, he will make them dizzy and put them on a giant treadmill with spinning saw blades on the sides, so that they would undoubtedly run into them. the white man is the least dizzy of the bunch, and tries to save the others

[killmysister]

and then the cracker son gets his asshole widened with a pumpkin, while Chinese God brings along a brontosaurus to stick his neck up the son's new pumpkin-holed ass. descendants of slaves come in and start peeling off the white people's skin and put Bubba's hot sauce on them and start eating away at the white meat. a bunch of homeless crackers off the streets of Crackersville come in and stick rusty forks into their bretheren's tender meat and start feasting away like zombies

[killmysister]

that japanese woman bit was uncalled for. just goes to show how racist white motherfuckers are. god those crackers really grease my jizz. i hope those jesus fuckers get raped by donkeys and meet god himself, who is actually a Chinese guy who ties you up and rapes your family one by one before cumming all over the white daughter's yellow teeth. and then He takes a rake and scratches off the white father's eyeballs out until the white mother is forced to eat out God's godlike asshole.

[EroSennin6669]

Did you edit this yourself? Either way well friggin done. Classic comedians. Classic joke. RIP George Carlin.

[JayLovito]

"i just took a shit and made him look at it"

George Carlin

RIP

Your genius will forever be missed.

[TheGameRoaster]

THE ARISTOCRATS!!!!

fancy that

[Matt26mph]

"Have I got an act for you!"

"Okay, what is it?"

The guy calls his well-dressed family in and they perform a lovely Mozart piece, the daughter on piano, father on violin, mother sings beautifully etc.

At the end they stand and take a bow, smiling proudly.

The talent agent says "wow, that was terrific, what do you call your act?"

"The Cummy Cunt Eating Motherfuckers!"

[cambodianmilk]

the joke is dumb. talking about it is pretentious. telling it over and over again, and then talking about it is pretentious. getting other people to tell it over and over again, talking about it, and then filming it, is pretentious.

[gengarrules777]

What do you mean? It's fantastic! I wanna do a version of it now!

[ISISbandLive]

@cambodianmilk It isn't the exact same joke over again, the first and last lines are the same and whoever is telling the joke can stretch it out as much as they want.

[Reviews27]

super dumb

[Max4Lulz]

Yes you are.

[tommywm24]

LOL 2:37 was terrible!

[JohnnyWarbux]

This was priceless. Completely outrageous and just down right dirty - So many comedians, so many people offended.

Just.....crazy.

[erupshaun]

whoever cut this video is a full blown idiot.

nearly ruined the funniest joke in history.

[Resolvetheory]

1:25 is the best... right in front of a 1 year old LMAO

[Resolvetheory]

This is the perfect joke.

...Perfect.

[emeryemery]

Garlic vinaigrette is Hank Azaria from The Simpsons.

[Laqez]

I'm the religious son of a religious family...

And we like this movie...

Go figure.

[Ravloma]

Rooster craps?

[disneyrangerblue02]

You know what would've spiced things up a little, if anyone cares? If they put Cartman's clips in the video too.

[aminian13]

best aristacat- fuck! aristo-CRATS video

[b20apache]

"the midgets cum all over the holocaust survivor"....so offensively hilarious i started crying

[PutnikoveOci]

son is playing on a xylophone with his cock

[ronniej1183]

ah, i'd love to see the reaction of a bible-thumping soccer mom listening to this...

[SaxWan]

lol i love the garlic vinaigrette part haha

[personcheese1234]

who is the helmets of pus guy

[j00ztube]

Hahahahaaa the baby!

[IRISHMOBSTER55]

WTF THAT GUYS TALKING TO THAT BABY

[javaman187]

yea thats fucked up its an adult joke you shouldnt mix them not cool

[disneyrangerblue02]

Definately not cool at all.

[redXtacy]

ROFL

[narutovasquez]

Andy dick has the funnest Aristocrats video

[Tostarelli]

awesome!!

[terkelc]

FANTASTIC! cumpilation. (Well, I'm an Aristocrat ;-p)

Love Bob Sagets toothless ending... Family man my ass :-D

[terkelc]

FANTASTIC! cumpilation ;-p (Well, I'm an Aristocrat)

...and I love Bob Sagets toothless ending.

[cunt7tits5]

fukin wicked!!!! lots of unseen stuff nice job.