Tool - Maynard's Dick

[indigozulu9]

This is hysterical

[TehRavenclaww]

Ahw. I wish I was fuckin with Maynard's dick.

[rauxiegurl]

the person who disliked this clearly hasn't seen Maynard's dick

[lozzabrummy]

@rauxiegurl their loss haha

[XXgraveraidergurlXX]

haha nice burps at 3:27 XD

[Melieb90]

@Evep01 woot woot 3some! lol

[xxashtonlee]

Only if Maynard promised to rock my world, haha.

[BLooDCoMPleX]

Nah, I'm not THAT addicted to Tool yet.

[whitemike82]

tool is the best band ever. but i dont know about riding maynards dick....fags.

[TheUnwillingDonor]

@whitemike82 im assuming anyone who said that was probably a chick :) chicks arent fags for liking maynards dick :)

[glynhoyland]

@TheUnwillingDonor Neither are dudes 8D

[whitemike82]

tool is the best band ever. but i dont know about riding maynards dick....fags.

[Melieb90]

i think maynard would be awesome in bed:) i would love to have some of maynard's dick.

[Evep01]

@Melieb90 Me too hahaha ;)

[bubafoo]

its about maynard having sex with you

[bubafoo]

Maynard is the man

[TheAbster46]

Yes, yes I would, Maynard. >=]

[kottonmouth1919]

It's all an opiate center.

[mandowarrior123]

Maynards Swedish Fish

[alaskantaco911]

holy god!!!id be honored to take a ride on maynards dick haha (honestly the only one though)

[justletmewatch228]

auto movie creator, trial version - please purchase

[DrummerDlux]

Wow I was on darkside.com downloading music and I found Tool, all the albums and I was seeing what songs were on Salavia and I saw maynards dick so I had to hear it!

[rebeccaswifeypoo]

Maynard's dick is awesome!lol

[Maevely867]

I love Maynard's dick... ;D <33

[masselectron]

last of second verse same as the first

[utubetool]

when your careful grace is sure

[Mattybeany]

this song is great LOL

[TheJahtucker]

hahaha, such an awesome song :-)

[FilleGuerriereArab01]

opiate center not open center...

[RastafunkTofu]

@FilleGuerriereArab01

Ha

[Switcharoo12]

Great song. So unusual,off,and Maynardesque

[Raneyboy]

....... Maynard James Keenen is the only man alive that could write a song completely about his dick, and still entertain his entire audience hahaha! Love it

[micronsolid]

@Raneyboy

Dont want to spoil it for ya, but u forgot Eminem. NO, you dont need to compare them aha

[portiz913]

its actually "Climb a mountain six inches at a time on maynards dick"

[V3rmili0nPt2]

OMG, he's crazy! :O just totally awesome.

[elenderel]

Good thing the number of inches in a mile is divisible by 6. If his dick had been, say, 7 inches long it would've thrown the whole song off.

Afterthought: "How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie pop?"

[RoyalAnarchist]

10560 times , muahaha

[alaskantaco911]

@elenderel a one a two a three (crunch) a three

[rshepherd333]

its actually sliding on his dick 10560 times 6 inches at a time(presumably the size of his dick) to make up 5280 feet....1 mile.

[Jamboreen]

So how exatly do you get 10560 when you divide 5280. I'd really like to see the maths behind that.

[streettitanz]

@Jamboreen 5280 is in feet not inches multiply 5280 by twelve then divide.

[Salmoncrusher]

@Jamboreen maybe you divide it by one half. :)

[ChickenWing4270]

Wow, I can't believe noone has noticed this yet. It says "Slide a mile six inches at a time on Maynard's dick". That means that Maynard's Dick is 5280 feet long (1 mile) and that you should slide into it 6 inches at a time.

[toolreligion]

its saying slide a mile, six inches (the length of maynard's dick) at a time,

[geckodragon]

only 6?

[March3Yahoo]

@geckodragon Studies have shown (I believe this is correct) that is the size of an average adult male down there.

[dhrckr]

its the lead singer of the best band known to time...its probably 6 inches wide. 4 feet long. and made of sugar and spice and everything amazing. hahahahahahahahaa

[alaskantaco911]

@dhrckr only four feeet long????

[MsAngelBaby]

it is maynards dick and the opening line is "its all an opiate center ". trust me.

[squishfase]

I've listened to this song so many times...gotta think the line is "its all an open center"...like a big ol' twat...I mean c'mon the song is Maynards Dick...

[LegendaryxNinja]

is this the same band that sings in my hands hemmorage

[omgbrbabbq]

negative sir

[stacey5060]

Yes Maynard, I would like to climb on your six inches

[apacxk]

originally found on a limp bizkit cd, then salival. do not mistakenly think im implying fred durst did this song, no, im saying maynard had a bonus track on a limp bizkit cd

[landon460]

maynard's dead. not maynard's dick.

[sugarpillguy]

I heard he died. But no, it's Maynard's Dick.

[cuznirvanarocks]

Maynard's dead??

[icharuswing]

no it's not ,Slide a mile six inches at a time on Maynard's dead? that makes no sense.

[feihcretsam711]

They used to play the song an the radio, and the dj's all said it was called maynard's dead. If you don't listen too closely to the song, it does sound like dead.

[icharuswing]

that's fuckin hilarious

[kazchen999]

lol

[VioletAnarchist]

lol

[egobrainss1]

could this be considered as a love song.. :P

[Tomasthesk8dude]

no, it's Tool taking the piss, as they do brilliantly so often

[dasklavierleben]

Now you know what you're fuckin' with. . . Maynard's DIIIIICCKK!!!

[eureka396]

uhm nice with the gay "please purchase" sign couldnt u just edit it out?

[der1331]

MAYnards diiiiick lol great song

[dennyglo91]

i dont really like the lyrics... but the song is really nice sounding

[represent93]

youre an ass

[MacMan282]

the sound is really... acousitc. Almost not like Tool, but it's awsome. The lyrics aren't like Tool either but you have to look harder... and that's when you realize... it's exactly like Tool. And you love it.

[blade4657]

maynard james keenan the only singer with a theme song for his penis.

yet another reason tool is amazing.

[spectatape]

This was stuck in my head in work yesterday.

It was so hard to not laugh out loud.

[rodrymoya]

maynard's dick was stuck in your head? I'm glad it wasn't stuck in any other part of you.

[egobrainss1]

LMAO

[SalvadorLovesNINTOOL]

You just may have put the best youtube comment ever on this video, rodrymoya. If not it may be in the top 10.

[afro66GMK]

Who wins?

[JesseSoda]

I can't get over how awesome this song is.

[reverandrane]

sign me up

[WolfmanMusic]

Do you have a cunt song, too?

[xVicariousx0]

That depends, have you heard Puscifer's CD, V is for Vagina? Lol that's about as close as you can get...

[Schadenfreude17]

This song... wins xD

I'm saying this from the straightest view. If I were gay, I would want to slide a mile 6 inches at a time on Maynard's dick >.>

ROFL

but srsly. this song is hilarious xD

[mlboakland]

maynards dick

[vikinglordSF]

Tool has always been such a serious band and my favorite. When i first heard this song i didnt stop laughing till it was over.

[tyman929]

this should be a love song

[779guy]

love songs gay

[nateW24]

sweet little song