The Number One Reason Why He Didn't Call Back

[1413088]

stupid stupid stupid...girls just be yourself.be happy.

[thecapone45]

O_O... seriously,,, my face was like that the whole time,,, that is NOT the number one reason, i think its just it didnt seem like it would go anywhere,,, IMO

[BrightBeginnings77]

Why is it that everything I see is about the woman changing for him? Why can't men and women accept each other for who and what they are? I agree that both women AND men should show a softer side toward one another, at least if they are dating each other, but this? People should stop playing games and over complicating things, geez, the next headline will be "How to act with a man so that he won't be a jerk with you."

[xskylikediamonds]

this is a horrible video. idk what planet this bitch is from but i dont think us single ladies biggest issue is being a "boss lady" 

[thefoxbox2]

I think it's a great video with a good point.

[madara657]

i`m a guy who like confident and women who stand up to themselves. Other women just seem weak and submit to a guys will too fast and that is seen as unchallenging which is A MAJOR TURN OFF.

Being bitchy and saying what you want will of course send some guys away but in the end you`ll end up with someone who accepts you as you are.

I personally disagree to this video to change for every guy`s type. It`s weak and seen as unstable. This is just one guys view ofcourse. pm me if you have questions

[AneesaColeman101]

WOW i think everyone here should really get their facts straight.

There is a clear difference between Assertive, Passive, and Aggressive. It seems that many of the people here are getting assertive and aggressive completely mixed up.

[mizniss]

If a woman has to change her language from a definitive "this is" or "it will" to the timid and vacillative sounding "Maybe" or "I think" to get a call back... the guy was definitely not worth the effort!

IMO assertive, confident women are labelled "B!tchy" "bossy" et al by a male dominated social group in an effort to force her to conform to their lower standards/expectations.

[MRMonger]

First part: agree. I think it's total BS that men need the hunt. I don't need games to find a woman interesting.

Second part: nah, it's not that simple.

If you say: "How could you possibly not like curry?" (in a serious way) you show that you probably more experienced, and therefore superior.

To tell (even indirectly) your date that you consider him inferior is a very, VERY bad idea. No men or women will take such an insult lightly, maybe men even a little less.

[mizniss]

Point taken, and few (if any) social interactions are ever simple.

However, regardless of sex, for an individual to feel inferior due to an enquiry over their culinary preference would signal to me a legitimate cause for concern over their self confidence. Not to mention whether a strong willed person would care for such sensitive personality.

[MRMonger]

Okay, the curry example is a bit far stretched. But do you consider sensitivity as weakness?

The point is: the fun in a date dies quickly, if the counterpart tries to polish his/her self esteem by putting down the other. Bragging and making fun of the other on a first date is never a good idea. You can do that if you have known your date for a while, and know what will pass as an amicable joke.

[mizniss]

Sensitivity in our context would be a person's reaction to an offense he/she maintains a vested interest in. IMHO this is a natural human response, and can hardly be considered "weak" per se.

Interesting you should mention bragging on a date. From personal observation many people (no gender named) are contrary to your view and willingly volunteer and exaggerate personal details with an aim to impress. Even more astoundingly many of these twats are successful. Any words on this? Do share

[MRMonger]

Actually, the moment I posted this, I realized that bragging is very common, and probably even expected, while flirting.

I wonder if this really has anything to do with the exaggerated facts, or if just the big self esteem that you need for bragging is admired.

I think it's interesting that self confidence rates that much higher than honesty. I think this tells us a lot about how important we consider truth while seeking for love (i.e. not very high).

[mizniss]

You seem to associate flirting/dating with the pursuit of love, an assumption I don't wholly subscribe to

I think there's a good portion of ppl who enjoy an active social life, and aren't ready for a long term stable companionship. Rather they are thrill seekers of love adventures, and their myopia leads them out of favour with practical sensibilites (honesty) and into more frivolous pursuits (bragging)

This difference in ambition may account for the differing priorities you mentioned

[kakashidemon321]

@mizniss That's true, but I believe that both parties should know that it is just for fun and that nothing more will spring out of it. If not, that is just unfair and careless. If two people are just having fun, that's totally fine. But if one is just doing it for fun and the other believes that they truly like them, that is a problem and is totally careless and cruel.

[Filipina84]

As much as I abserved, why do guys who are in a relationship get with a girl who is not attractive and bitchy?? I don't get it, I see he's tired of her so why doesn't he just leave her? Non attractive, controlling, close minded, and nearly looks like a a male with not much female features. Ugh. I feel so so sorry for those guys.

[muneyholder]

Filipina84, just as you think you can judge a situation by appearance, I will judge you by your ignorance. First, in your comment, you misspelled 'observe'. You used an 'a' for whatever reason. Two question marks at the end of 'bitchy'. That grammatically incorrect. I could go on for 20% of your comment, but I just wanted to share with you how it feels to have someone judging secretly. Try to not do it.

[MonoXideAtWork]

I feel sorry for your loneliness.

[Argo108]

lollllllll what bunch of shit. Get fuckin' real. HAHAHAHA.

[profhum]

Tommy, this is Dad! Yes, I'm monitoring you. Go the hell to sleep or I'm not driving you to the mall tomorrow.

[leelaloop]

What's subtly depressing about this video is the assumption that women shouldn't be bosses. An assertive man is perfectly normal, but as soon as a straight woman tiptoes into the realm of speaking with confidence, all men are entirely turned off. In this sense, it is sexist towards both sexes, because there are definitely men out there who appreciate assertive women.

It's not peer-reviewed data, thus it's not worth my time.

[pianista17mari]

peer reviewed data on dating? lol... I suppose that could exist. I would be interested in that too, I suppose...

[thesystemsfailed]

This is dating though isn't it? No one fits the stereo typical perfect man or women and not everyone wants that stereo type. Most women want the arrogant bad boy type and that's just not me so I'm not as successful with women. I don't curse women for this, its just what they naturally like. Its my choice to go against what they are interested in just like its your choice to go against what most men like. I don't expect all of society to conform to me, I just need one person to love me :)

[ProtoCosmos]

I think it's an issue of rudeness, not whether a woman is confident or not.

[ultravioletcarson]

Ummm... so she interviewed 1000 insecure men with low self-esteem about themselves and too afraid to call back a woman who is driven and assertive. Uh... yeah... she's better off without him and dating someone who is more her equal.

Men are always complaining about how women don't say exactly what they mean, but when women do, they're being labeled "bitch" or "boss lady".

Btw, being "assertive" and "driven" does not automatically equal "argumentative" .

[kyeruu2]

Oh so i'm insecure?

i want my girl who's not al ittle wuss that complains about the useless.

but that doesn't mean i enjoy a girl who "criticizes" everything i do.

[74Gibson]

Whether it is a man or woman "driven" and "assertive" generally means "Selfish".

People look more at a person for what they can do for "THEM".I've been married 8 years,and it is better to serve than be served.If you are not willing to give in your relationship, it will not work out.

[frostythesn0wman]

And Attention, if you give your girl attention and she gives it back like getting together for alone time once in awhile it also helps with a healthy relationship. I learned that the hard way.

[shannabanana70]

OMG is this chick for real??

[74Gibson]

Some guys choose women who are dependent for a reason.They want to be the control freak.A good relationship is based on respect for each other.You also have to learn to give and take.

[Raymond66Revalee]

so this lady says she interviewed and ENTIRE 1000 dudes, so she's and expert and women should buy her stupid book? lol fuck that.

[BlackNoir]

Bossy Lady? The term we men use is "cunt."

Don't get me wrong. If you're smart and have an opinion, that's great. But I've noticed that if a woman is smart, she demonstrates it as a form of superiority.

Don't be condescending and act polite. It's that easy.

[Avankiri]

They say 'Boss Lady', and I'm thinking 'Someone who tells you what to do, how to do it, when to do it, where to do it, and why to do it.'

A person like that, I couldn't deal with. Sure, if I didn't like curry and she questioned it, I'd give her my reason. If she questioned my reason, I might be a bit turned off, but I'd still answer as best as I could. Now if she questioned the answer to my reason, then she's obviously trying to pick a fight. A fight I won't win, but still a fight.

[Chrixtal]

Funny they deleted my comment, oh yes, I will stay single forever, wait... I'm engaged, hmmm...

[LoveVampire]

Hmm this just makes it more the reason to not even deal with dating, lol.

[xL0VEE]

wow..so the guy felt intimidated because the woman asked him, "how can you not like curry," im sorry but that's one little bitch. if that's the case, that is just so incredibly pathetic....wow..men are a lot more sensitive than ppl think..

[TrippingOnAHeadShot]

There's nothing wrong with being sensitive, but that aside...

If you went on a first date (when people are least likely to show their worst traits) and she was very pointed and arguementative, and hassled you over a PREFERENCE, would you want to keep seeing her? I know I wouldn't.

[xL0VEE]

I honestly think that isn't hassling anybody, it's just a figure of speech. I always hear people use it on a daily basis. And yes you're absolutely right, there's nothing wrong with being sensitive, but I can't believe that comment would scare a guy so far off from a second date that's just baffling..

[lastprodigy]

I dont think its so much about being sensitive as it is first impressions. I'm sure that wasn't the only thing his date did. If he thought her to be a "boss lady" like the video implied im sure there were more events that occurred. Even so. If the guy is young and feels like he has greater chances meeting someone else then why bother pushing on a relationship that made you even the slightest uncomfortable.

[NGB2010]

Boss Ladies deserve to be single forever!

[Bubbles1779]

I'm boss lady haha but NOT like that. There is nothing wrong with being strong and having a brain...

[portugal82]

LMAO, that's a good one

[mist604]

perfect.

[IMakeTheLordNev]

So boss ladies are now being punished for being strong and not submissive? What is this? Lets go back to the old days when females were weak. If a man is not MAN enough to handle a boss lady then he is not worth the time.

[axdcs1]

whooaaa great vid shes great

quite insightful and helpful

btw, the two women, hard to believe its the same woman!

[freshhug]

OMG, I would never last a date with this dating coach.., can't stand her voice, she sounds like she is sufficating, I'm getting claustrofibic here.......................!

[portugal82]

(slap) breath dam you, breath.

[qin02]

any the girls will end up dating the one that shows the least interest lol

[Pillblast]

Yep, totally change for him! Pu on a show, that is the good answer :))

[freestylesphynx]

"This is the way it is" lol

[meka4996]

She is right on "Look like a woman" and act/behave like a woman. Men want feminine soft family lady, not a man/woman hybrid...

[Iconbuster57]

I like the boss lady.

[truepaths]

You just want every yourtango video to be some reassertion that being a feminist nazi is the way to go. This is great advice, but if you want to stay single forever then keep acting like date storm troopers. When I'm with my friends, I act like whatever, but when I go out on a date I do things like hold the door open for a lady, and pull out the chair so she can sit down first. I don't do that with my drinking buddies. This video is just asking you to act more lady-like on dates goddamit

[mrzack888]

she's Harvard MBA, can't be trusted. Remember Bush also got his MBA from Harvard, and oversaw the greatest financial collapse in human history.

[portugal82]

So what I'm understanding is, do not be yourself be someone else, a fake, something your not. and in time show who you really are and then try to figure out why he/she dumped you a while later. Come on seriously, people be yourself, if not then don't waste your time looking for someone because you will not be happy.

[Nil705]

I'm don't think that's what this video was saying. OBVIOUSLY you should be yourself on a date but as you are FIRST getting to know someone, be open and not too confrontational. At least that's what I got from the vid.

[urbanfawn]

this is so silly

i hope no one follows the advice of this video

it's just telling women to be less assertive in order to appeal to men

and i hate that they make it seem like being less opinionated makes you more feminine

i usually like this channel... so disappointing.

[Chrixtal]

Look like a woman???? Oh yeah because the american way of dating is all about superficial aspects, this cold game, horrible.

[LilBMANUTD7CRONALDO]

yea, nobody focuses on personality anymore, probaly y i cant get a guy to like me

[animefun2]

so you go on a date with a business suite for example. Its normal you need to look your best when your on a date.

[supercommie]

I am bitterly disappointed, normally this channel gives great tips, but this was complete BS.

[Efferts]

Why are dating coaches & experts normally "single". Just askin'.

[portugal82]

Because they don't take their own advice knowing it sucks LOL. sorry had to respond to that one.

[XoJackieLuvsRonniexo]

@Efferts Rachel Greenwald is married and most of the ones whose letters I read are married or engaged. One is in a serious relationship...sooo which ones are u talking about? ;))

[makaocloud]

ummm i have the perfect reason why he didnt call you back... its because he didnt want to talk to you!

Just get a guy that actually cares about you instead of spending 10 years of your life researching why guys dont call you back and use that time to actually to something better with your life. Like, i dont know... ummmm.... get a better guy or stop worrying about guys that just dont give a damn!

[BlackLily888]

I have a better tip, women: BE YOURSELVES.

[princesspout89]

I hate when I feel like I need to suppress my personality around a man to get him to like me. I agree with some points of this video, but not all of them.

[1badsr]

wow that girl is HOT when her hair is down!

[justme252009]

i don't really agree on this reason but cute vid anyways.