The Chronicles of Chris-chan: GOD AND THE BEAR [8/6/09]

[FortressManagment]

0:48 Reminded me of Rocco from Mega64 when he recorded the greenscreen thing

[TheKing3234]

BEAR? wait wha....?

[Kirbechu99]

@89StreetOriginalz

Ian Brandon... something... yelling at the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler.

That bastard.

[89StreetOriginalz]

what the fuck did I just watch???

[Frozekit]

I'm losing it.

XDD

[zdogg30]

damn i thought i got mad when people pronouced my name wrong

[sabbathbloodoath98]

You kick me in the BAWLS again!!

[LisaChuUK]

"BEFORE I REALLY CALL THE POLI.."

*pauses with an epic frown on his face*

"BEFORE I..I ACTUALLY.."

*pauses again"

epic fail

[ShrubberySalesman]

@LisaChuUK His processor crashed and had to start up again.

Because Chris truly is an emotionless robot.

[TheUbercharge1]

umad bro?

[AzteKpr1de]

Who is he talking to? Anyone mind linking me to a video of this Chris Chandler?

[TrinityRewind]

@AzteKpr1de /watch?v=CzDj29Vy7ro&list=FLaP­y17MWcChrrh5lS4bbpaQ&feature=m­h_lolz

Liquid chris AKA the real CWC

[LongHairedLoser]

End of the url as lolz.

Lulz

[bearsaremyfav]

2:25

How did his voice get even higher?

[CaptainPengu]

@bearsaremyfav The trolls were bustin' his balls man

don't do that to him

[Frozen1Neko]

...The Bear?

[stinnetbennet]

Ian calm the hell down.

[CaptainPengu]

kayseiu

[7698466]

CAPITAL LETTERS

[ColonelTwisty]

SHE CARES ABOUT YA SO MUCH

[donptrebor]

I AM CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER

[weds9994]

FIVE DOLLARS for FIVE HUNDRED SHEETS

[Dopplekins]

Good God, This guys tantrum is so god-damned hilarious. His voice is like shards of glass, but I can't stop laughing.

[stelkin656]

@Dopplekins I've met girls who had manlier voice than his.

[ZetaNeubourn]

I'm still curious.... what is "the bear"? |:U

[automaticgeneral]

@ZetaNeubourn An animatronic bear that mistakenly heard the at-the-time Christopher Weston Chandler as Christian.

[ZetaNeubourn]

@automaticgeneral And they... stuck with that? And Chris actually holds this as significant enough to rant about stolen ID and include the robo-bear as a source?

...Seems normal for Chris and his folks, in all honesty. >->

[wafflebuster]

I NAME IS NOT IAN

BRANNON

SOMETHING

[fuckthenewlayout1]

his voice is like knives in my ears

[SilentlyVocal]

Has anyone noticed that Chris is always so intentionally dramatic?

It's like he believes he's in a movie, cheesy recited lines and all. Where good triumphs over evil, and the hero gets the girl at the end of the day.

The only difference here is, that the girl happens to be a troll and back to cave dwelling Chris goes.

Oh, and he being the egocentric twat that he is, Chris acts like the typical main character hero.

Prick.

[filipetramontin]

você deveria fazer um Q & A

[Chinelin]

Ricardo? ...that's my name...

brb drinking cyanide

[SilentlyVocal]

GAWUHD AYUNN THUH BAYYUHR

[slitor]

Its weird....I have a nostalgia feeling outta this.

[XuBlax]

2:22 i lost my shit xD

[xVDEaDShOTxV]

You gay piece of shit. Go rot in a hole you overreacting candy ass prick. You are so immature, and I laugh at the fact that even your mother loves you. You are pathetic, and a waste of everyone's time. You make these ridiculous claims that you will tell the police, although you never will. You are a pathetic excuse for a human, and should give up on everything and go to a retirement home at age 50. I can not believe you EVER actually thought that a mysterious woman on the phone loved you.

[TripleA90000]

@xVDEaDShOTxV you know this isn't his channel right

[JustBecauseidk5]

@xVDEaDShOTxV shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, if he knows the truth then we wont have his internet funnies D:

[Trickishismael360]

I love how in 1:20 he says his name so calmly compared to his overall speech.

[MrToastOmnomnom]

FUCKING MODEL MAGIC NIGGAAAAAA YOU GOT THAT MODEL MAGIC BRUH?!

[Nbsno4lives]

Looks like Chris is going to be really hurt, seeing how he's in trial right now and possibly going to be sentenced in jail or having to do community service, forcibly.

[Gogohax]

"MY FIRST NAME BEING CHRISTOPHER, MY SPANISH NAME BEING RICARDO!!"

I lost it there xD

[Neuspeed82]

"dramatic glasses take off"

[CaptainPengu]

GLADLY GLADLY GLADLY

[bloodsugardynamite]

@CaptainPengu WRONG. HE SAYS IT FOUR TIMEZ.

[CaptainPengu]

@bloodsugardynamite DAMN

[pwnage3458]

i love to see chris chan rage it brings joy to my dark hart to see a man suffer so much from his ignorance stupidity and homosexuality.

[QueenDarkCloud2]

Christian the baby is tired, He needs to sleep.

[ToviaPicoru]

CRAYOLA FUCKING MODEL MAGIC!!!

Oooh, look out! This guy's a professional sculptor!

[44ch1m]

isn't chris chan going to jail now? he's currently being tried.

[SlowRiotNewKanada]

The fucked up thing is that if this were a comedian or performance artist creating a character, it would be brilliant but as we all know, Chris is horrifyingly real.

[koks3D]

i lol'd like a cad, when he said that sheet of paper costs 5 hundred dollars

[apriswajaya]

2:23 he sounded like jonny 2 x 4 from ed, edd n eddy

[Tripo1iSamson]

what the hell is Cough Barnland Handler getting so angry about

[jerkarful]

Want to see somebody almost as bad as Chris-chan, check the link below

/watch?v=QayyFOoHrwg

[GoDSpAmBoT]

Right, he can't say "vagina" or "dick" and has lots of problems with "GAY" but has no problem saying "fuckin'"

How can he shout like that and nobody in his house cares? geez, I would had enter his room and kicked his nuts for being a lousy cry baby

[frontslash78]

"This whole time, the real medal has been made out of CRAYOLA FUCKIN' MODEL MAGIC, AND ACRYLIC PAINT!"

This guy needs his own show

[TripleA90000]

january 5th

[kantarellkvinnan]

155 People have uncontrollable eyebrows...

[IJustMovedHere]

After all these years he still refuses to get a better quality webcam

[InfinityMinamimoto]

I think this specimen needs to be used as an example for all losers to NOT BE LIKE HIM AT ALL COSTS.

[DarkMatter44444]

Dude, calm ur tits, quite watching "Blue's Clues" for fashion statements, and move out if ur mom's house! Ur what? 25-30 years old?

[Knoxerboy101]

@DarkMatter44444

This your first chris-chan video? He and his mom are both moving out...and into jail.

[eyholmess]

Crayola fucking model magic, how does it work?

[JPhinfan86]

This dude is an effin' riot to watch with the CC "transcribe audio" function....holy crap. It reminds me of Don Vito Margera.

[PlatinumGlitchMint4]

RIP Bob Chadler. You might have died a failure of a father, but you were brave enough to stand up against this fat disgusting moron.

[TailsFan23]

I need to go play Bioshock to regain some of my sanity...

oy... I thinks it's hilarious how he's talking about getting all these people put in jail and then he gets his ass landed in jail because of his own ignorance.

[stepkasmusic]

I think CWC was the first person in the history of the world to use the phrase "Crayola FUCKIN' MODEL MAGIC".

[Lennethare]

God, Chris makes me feel better about myself.

[O2Eater]

Metal Gear Aspies: The Twin Chans

(Tactical Autistic Action)

We still need a Solidus Chris...

[HiSkoolFutbol46]

Ricardo lmao.

[Saitoko7]

Five hunded dowwars.

[thenegativenick]

whats that ian brandon? we cant hear you

[slimedime333g]

What a lunatic. Bob and Barb are to blame.

[MeganekkoKelly]

FUCKIN MODEL MAGIC!1!!

[Christhefireshark]

I wonder if any of his jailmates will have heard of him?

[MsVictorieh]

jullieeee

[AsterBarnivere]

Ironic that Ian is the one actually in jail now lol

[BootyFister]

WTF?

[TheWarlord900]

Hey Ian Brandon

Enjoy jail bitch!

[ahroun436]

Ah, I get it. His name is Ian Brandon Something.

[natethegreats65amg]

I have some news for y'all! Chris and Barb are in DEEP DOODOO! They got arrested recently for an incident at the game place and face numerous charges such as trespassing, leaving the scene of an accident, and assault on a police officer. Several of those are felonies, meaning chris and barb will probably do time. This will also mean that unfortunately, we'll probably never directly hear from cwc again. Don't believe me? It's on the cwcki.

[TigerPimp666]

@natethegreats65amg Chris got bailed a couple days after he was put in jail. Unfortunately I can't quite remember where the source on that is, but I'm 100% sure it's true.

[videogamenostalgia]

@natethegreats65amg If only Bob were still here. He'd put them in line with a swift backhand before their autistic plan to launch an attack on the store even began to form. Turns out Barbara's just as retarded as her son without Bob anchoring the family...

[natethegreats65amg]

@videogamenostalgia I'm pretty sure Bob's turning in his grave right now. Not even 2 months have passed since his death and now his wife and son just earned themselves criminal records. And you're right, Bob was the only one who kept snorlax and cwc from going absolutely HAYWIRE!

[videogamenostalgia]

@natethegreats65amg Yeah, I never really thought of him as being particularly effective when he was alive, but the things Barb and Chris have been up to since his passing seem to point to Bob being the family's real grounding in sanity all along...

[SlashFirestorm]

[pants like a bitch]

I love captions.

[IcaraelTheWanderer]

Ye Gods, he sounds like Linkara. A shitty, second-rate Linkara.

[legomovieman94]

I wonder if he knows that "bear" is a term for a hairy fat man. :P

[YTPel1337]

I NAME IS NOT IAN BRANDON SUMTING

[Jesterclown17]

What a loser.

[NorrisArt]

This is what evolution gives us? Really?

[TheHowks]

Incredible. Completely out of his fucking mind.

[ingloable]

paper troll is a successful paper troll?

[Nothaut]

CRAYOLA FUCKING MODEL MAGIC

[minecraft20]

Bitches don't know bout' my crayola fuckin' model magic.

[MiHiVidz]

No Chris. The GodBear didn't rename you "Christian".

What He really said was "Christ! It's Ian!".

[llC4ll]

What happened with him at about 2:00?

[Mystifiedfire]

I'm glad these kind of people are stuck in their parent's basement, not on the streets.

[Termiborger]

Before I -Critical system error!

BEFORE I-Critical system error. Brain not found. Ignore as usual?

[FrostieDragon]

holy shit this fool sounds like his balls never dropped o_o

[Wolfsrain90]

...The embarrassment actually physically pains me when I watch this.

[NyxFTW]

The Closed Caption here is actually accurate. Holy shit.

[CannyTails]

And the bear, e is mc square?

Wha-?

[brickmaster24]

You know chris might be fun to laugh at but its also kind of sad, chances are he wont live to see 40, and I feel sorry for his parents I mean they had to raise this kid and that must be the hardest thing to do, god bless chris and his mom, and RIP his dad. His antics may be a joke hell there hilarious but underneath all that, his whole situation is kind of sad

[Ninox37]

@brickmaster24

Please don't tell me you pity him.

[brickmaster24]

@Ninox37 i dont pity him i just think this is just the tip of the iceberg

[Ninox37]

@brickmaster24

You may have a point there.

[Phenomenaman]

@brickmaster24 Nice points Brick. You have to consider the fact that he could be an elaborate troll, which is unlikely. Also that he is the only one who can improve his situation. Anyone who blames everything around them will NEVER get past their miserable and shitty situation. I hope he learns to take responsibility for everything on the internet and moves out of that shit hole. I actually believe most of the trolls deep down wanted Chris to improve. C'mon Chris, get responsible!

[brickmaster24]

@Phenomenaman true its a sad situation, if you wanna talk somemore friend me on my alternate account

therailwizard1994

[leeharveyosmosis]

@Phenomenaman

"most of the trolls deep down wanted Chris to improve."

We both know that's complete bullshit.

[Phenomenaman]

@leeharveyosmosis It's what I like to believe. True or not.

[leeharveyosmosis]

@Phenomenaman

.....even if it's true, their private feelings of remorse are meaningless if they keep on harassing him anyway. They know what they're doing is fucking evil so they have to feign outrage at things he does.

[sharpezor]

@brickmaster24 why wont he see 40

[brickmaster24]

@sharpezor look on the chris chan wiki and find the page called Chris and Health, youll se what I mean

[CheezyTurd]

@brickmaster24 Edited for truthiness:

His whole situation may be kind of sad, but underneath all that, his antics are just a joke - hell, they're hilarious. God damn Chris and his mom, and rest-in-pieces his dad.  That must've been the hardest thing to do. I mean, they just *had* to make that kid - I feel sorry for his parents. Though chances are he won't live to see 40, it's also kind of sad - Chris is fun to laugh at.

[HeWhoIsIAm420]

@brickmaster24 Which is, coincidentally, the reason its funny.

The lulz induced were innumerable.

[makuzono]

@brickmaster24 if you read up on his parents, they weren't any better.

[ZealSeraph]

@brickmaster24 Don't pity his parents. They are the reason he is this way, not his autism. This guy never had a chance.

[bluetwinkesaregood]

@brickmaster24 From what I heard, his parents aren't good people. Neither is Chris. In fact, both Barb and Bob's other children are estranged from them. Including Chris.

[OpportunityStrikes]

"...My first name being Christopher..."

/listening intently, totally getting it

"...and my Spanish name being Ricardo."

/wait wat

[willman2k8]

[pants like a bitch]

I lost it there

[qwertyuiop78945612]

God and the Bear, that's the name of my band

[eugeneumberto]

@qwertyuiop78945612 I was just about to say, totally perfect name for a band "God and the Bear"... Fuck yeah!! Ha ha!!

[616TheBeast616]

This is why I support eugenics.

[WhiteRoseWithering96]

This is the funniest Chris Chan video I've ever seen. Crayola Fucking Model Magic is serious business. xD

[Drac39]

Haha who admits an animotronic talking bear named him when's pushing 30 years old. He's all sorts of fail that you just have to take a minute to analyze it sometimes.

[TLK500]

Who doesn't want to kick this guy in the balls?

[Quixoticah]

@TLK500 Everyone. He's the biggest lolcow there is nerb.

[27Axis]

Lol Ricardo?

[Syeedthehedgehog]

GOD AND THE BEAR!

[MERRIKandTHEGRUETOK]

CWC was so fun during this era.

[Iohelle]

1:50 voice of death

[Jimbochap]

so wait...he's dead now? DAMMIT we'll have to add him to list of lulzy people who died such as Tourettes guy and what not.

[snowninja7842]

RIP Robert Chandler, 1927-2011

You were the only chain holding back this blubber beast.

We salute you.

[dolphinsweremonkeys]

K MART

[dolphinsweremonkeys]

K MART

[dolphinsweremonkeys]

K MART

[AmpluexCompressa]

What video is he angry about?

[AmpluexCompressa]

@AmpluexCompressa Wait nevermind.

[OmegaRedhead2]

Rest in peace, Bob. We'll miss you, lumberjack...

[ThatClassicGreyBox]

Steve from Blues Clues really let himself go.

[mariojuggernaut22]

@ThatClassicGreyBox SSSH!!!! Youe insulting Steve's good name.

[ThatClassicGreyBox]

@mariojuggernaut22 it's the sweater. :3 sorry steve!

[TranquilFury1993]

God and the Bear... *looks to my NCR flag and holds hand over heart*

I believe...

[Nowzies]

MY NAME IS NOT IAN BRANDON SOMETHING

[TheP3NDU1UM]

The funny thing is he changed his name to Christian when he was like 10. His real name is Christoper.

[giggitoria69]

fat to you fuckin fag

[giggitoria69]

wtf is rong with you you fuckin retard

[TrinityRewind]

Mary Lee Walsh who foiled Chris's Love Quest, Clyde Cash leader of The Miscreants, the man in the pickle suit and the liquid Chris saga. jesus fucking christ, his non existent life is like a fucking cartoon

[ShizakuIzaiyoi]

Oh shit. serving community service. Forcedly.

[TrinityRewind]

someone needs to make him into a TF2 mod lol, id shit bricks

[JohnMooreification]

@TrinityRewind My medals, they are made of Crayola model magic!

[TrinityRewind]

he wears the medallion, the source of his powers, we must destroy it in the fires of mordor

[anguspage45]

@TrinityRewind You can count on me, and my bow...

[TheLastArchdemon]

@TrinityRewind nice one

[Lastuser11]

Those eyes man, those frigging eyes...

[applebeesbarandgrill]

This guy's name is Steve Burns And that's what happens when you get off drugs; you go crazy.

[iNvictaStudios]

Whenever I feel suicidal, I watch one of Chris's Videos, because I know that life is worth laughing at.

[GreatScooty]

Press 3 over and over and you'll hear him honking.

[koopa120]

i sense butthurt

[CaptainOlimar247]

Press the 4 key and he says four. It's magic!

[nark123123]

@KiraShake i pissed myself at that comment

[larrypie915]

This guy reminds me of the supermarket manager boss in Dead Rising.

[PurpleStorm8]

@larrypie915 Was there a Supermarket manager in Dead Rising.

[rabidrabbitshuggers]

Retarded boy is retarded.

[ManticoreFire]

Praise be to the bear!

[Jak00125]

3:16 I lost it right there. LOL. I'm still laughing.

[Lommy1337]

Üjbeleegy vécébe és vedát a formáját

[TwistedGentleman]

"For real Sonichu quality, don't settle for paper, go with Crayola: The Better Sculpting Putty"

[Ben1987X]

He scares me..I rather go into a isolation cell with the Joker while wearing a straightjacker then go this guy...

[LondoninColouredRain]

What's funny is that he doesn't even say "MY NAME IS NOT IAN BRANDON SOMETHING." he says: "I NAME IS NOT IAN BRANDON SOMETHING" XD