Thanks 4 your voice... never quiet it. Our voices need to be heared. Even if its just to be heard by one single soul. One soul who steps outside their box.
how can i show my (ftm) boyfriend i am trying to be understanding... i love him... he is the greatest thing to ever happen to me,... but he doubts me and that i understand that he has to deal with this day in and day out... he doubts my love and i dont know how to prove him wrong... i am trying my best to be as welcoming and sincere as possible,... any ideas what i can say or do?
@amarieebby - The truth that I know is- society has helped a lot of us guys to have personal hang ups. Sometimes (and too often) we bring those things into our relationships, bombarding them with our own self-fulfilling-prophesies. 1st bit of advice- DON'T TAKE IT PERSONAL! 2nd - Stay educated! 3rd Just stand by Your guy and continue to be as loving and supportive as possible. - If things become unhealthy and "therapy" doesn't work... just like ANY other relationship... it's best to move on.
@BaneChaos thanks, THANK You! ill take all that into consideration. some days are emmaculate between us, and others are just a mess... unfortuneately (like many guys) he has plenty insecurities about me and he always has this thought about me leaving him... i dont know what to do some times because i love him but it drives me crazy. im even setting aside money so i can financially assist him in his surgeries... i hope one day he realizes that i see him for who he really is, that i understand!
also no matter what the hell you are -someone- is likely to hate you, irrational hatred breeds in irrational minds, dwelling on such a thing is so futile.
no not really, maybe if my existence was being trapped inside something like sex and the city where everyone is basically a shallow parody of a socialite with an entirely preconceived definition on all the 'sorts' of people and 'the type of guy' they want to 'fall in love' with. When you gauge attraction to another human being by such farce pitiful standards as their height or the colour of their hair.
This is everything I've been feeling for a long time now.(what feels like forever) Having to wake up everyday hating myself, being called by a name that doesn't define who I am. Wondering how much longer I'll be around for,and if my anxiety and depression takes the wheel from my rationality and sanity. My fear of isolation and rejection coming back. It's hard as hell,but I try to keep the "trans joy" in mind; and the day I will finally be free and happy.
Thanks for the empathy. Some days can feel crappy. I think being open and honest about that is good and healthy.
I think there's room for all the different feelings on the spectrum when it comes to transitioning and being trans. So thanks for being honest and open here and for sharing that with others who might not be trans. Maybe it willl help others understand more?
You can choose to laugh them off. Your reaction to your disadvantage is your choice, largely anyway.
Fourthly, when you feel too depressed that despair affects your normal daily functioning or even suicidal, please please please seek professional help. Medications or counseling can make a big difference. Life is too precious to throw away. Just quit leaves behind broken hearts of those who love you dearly
Secondly, you were born with a condition which you cant help it, in a way, a disadvantage which you have no choice in deciding. It’s like being dealt a bad hand in poker game. Unfortunately you can change the cards. It’s all up to you how to play the game and make the most out of it.
Thirdly, the choice to be happy or despair is largely in your own hand. You can choose to be happy despite all the setbacks and scorns from the world.
Thank you so much for your honest sharing. It helps me to understand the anguish of my beloved son who was my daughter before.
Firstly, pls don’t despair for too long. Pls check on U-tube on armless pianist from China. To see people less fortunate than u may lift your spirit. It is moving, I promise u.
Yeah, thats how I feel all the time, caged in by my body. Except I cant transition, so I'll have to live my entire life in a totally and completely wrong body.
It is impossible to be born the "wrong gender" but i was born the wrong species i have always felt like a panda trapped in a human body im having my skin cut off and real fur transplanted on so i can be happy:)
"transgender despair" should be called "my despair" there is no such term in existence and this is one persons (your) opinion. this should not be a term to describe all trans folk. it doesnt matter what you do to the outside of your body ...if you are not happy inside you will never be happy outside, wether you are over weight, in "need" of plastic/cosmetic surgery of any type, have a disability, or health problem , it doesnt matter being happy inside is the most important thing
I don't talk about mine a lot but hello to slot of people I'm just a crazy lesbian (never felt either gender) don't like being called lesbian either (I fall for people not a gender) but a lot of mine is also come from having an eating disorder the worst is taking a bath or shower and feeling so numb not just ugly numb
@ryanduhast Honey Im not passing judgement on you I just dont want to put between a situation that has nothing to do with me Im sorry but its between you and charles.
Hmm.A lot of ppl get born the right gender and still are in the wrong body.Imagine being fat, scarred, in a wheel chair, blind,or schizophrenic.Or being impotent with a 12' dick.Or getting prostrate problems.-If you look deeper,most ppl are pretty miserable one way or another."Respect":the one who can give us sth. we show courtesy to,the bum we look down upon.Don't fall in love with words.Every man has capabilities and limitations.My capabilities far outweigh my limitations...
I put this video of Charles oin my facebook, I liked the video & assumed he was down when he made it but the response i got was as follows.
He obviously doesnt live in this country (Australia)
Another
If you dont like the ride get off the fucking train.
I was pretty shoked but Charles HAS put the other side of the coin up hundreds of times, I know him as a really happy well natured young man...Go for it Charles if thats the way you feel right now you have the right to say so honey x x x x
You just described a huge part of me. So true. I am glad that I am not the only one that has these feelings. Is there a real solution of overcoming the despair? As long as society is the way it is, probably not. I try hard not to think about it and just be the best I can be ... but they (the feelings) are always there.
Great video, Charles. What a comprehensive listing of the issues of being trans... all in under 3 minutes. Excellent. What a good trans spokesperson you make! I hope the despair isn't overwhelming and that you can still enjoy life. Thanks for this very succinct, list of the many issues of being trans. Helps us cis-gendered people remember how important it is to use the right pronoun and treat everyone with equal respect.
feeling like anything before transition wasn't you... it was a ghost... I can look back at pictures of myself and it's so hard to believe I wasn't who I thought I was. Then I look back at later ones and think "I wish I figured this out sooner" or "I wish I had done all this sooner" or "I wish I was socialized differently." Seeing the way I used to dress and everything... sometimes I feel like I conformed too much to what other people told me to do.
Wow this is such a beautiful video and so well spoken. Thank you for taking the time to make this video that expresses so well, what it really is like.
I love you Charles. You're not affraid to speak your mind, your not affraid to be yourself, and you have so much pride in yourself, i just wish I could see myself the way you see yourself. Good for you. I'm working on it, it will take some time, but as with healing, it just takes time.
My favorite is when people point out all of things about you physically or emotionally that are stereotypes of your birth sex...
"Thanks Grandma, (Mom or friend) like I haven't already spent countess hours obsessing over all the reasons I hate my body already. I don't need everyone's help remembering why"
ty it is so well said i hope u don't mind me sharing it with my church and others who are having problems understanding what i am
crtatt 3 weeks ago
@crtatt you're welcome! i don't mind at all - i hope they come to be more understanding.
charlesasher 2 weeks ago
Hey, I can imagine your feeling check out my page. I have a ton of resources from the LGBT community that will uplift your spirits.
Rolandapowell 2 months ago
very nice video thanks :)
tmmy773 8 months ago
In response to criticism of this vid: The ONLY way to moPAST despair is to face it and embrace it. Love it and thx
winkte11 9 months ago
Thanks 4 your voice... never quiet it. Our voices need to be heared. Even if its just to be heard by one single soul. One soul who steps outside their box.
AndyBax23 9 months ago
how can i show my (ftm) boyfriend i am trying to be understanding... i love him... he is the greatest thing to ever happen to me,... but he doubts me and that i understand that he has to deal with this day in and day out... he doubts my love and i dont know how to prove him wrong... i am trying my best to be as welcoming and sincere as possible,... any ideas what i can say or do?
amarieebby 9 months ago
@amarieebby - The truth that I know is- society has helped a lot of us guys to have personal hang ups. Sometimes (and too often) we bring those things into our relationships, bombarding them with our own self-fulfilling-prophesies. 1st bit of advice- DON'T TAKE IT PERSONAL! 2nd - Stay educated! 3rd Just stand by Your guy and continue to be as loving and supportive as possible. - If things become unhealthy and "therapy" doesn't work... just like ANY other relationship... it's best to move on.
BaneChaos 5 months ago
@BaneChaos thanks, THANK You! ill take all that into consideration. some days are emmaculate between us, and others are just a mess... unfortuneately (like many guys) he has plenty insecurities about me and he always has this thought about me leaving him... i dont know what to do some times because i love him but it drives me crazy. im even setting aside money so i can financially assist him in his surgeries... i hope one day he realizes that i see him for who he really is, that i understand!
amarieebby 5 months ago
also no matter what the hell you are -someone- is likely to hate you, irrational hatred breeds in irrational minds, dwelling on such a thing is so futile.
tiffaneeemarie 10 months ago
no not really, maybe if my existence was being trapped inside something like sex and the city where everyone is basically a shallow parody of a socialite with an entirely preconceived definition on all the 'sorts' of people and 'the type of guy' they want to 'fall in love' with. When you gauge attraction to another human being by such farce pitiful standards as their height or the colour of their hair.
tiffaneeemarie 10 months ago
@tiffaneeemarie
it isn't??? jesus. where do you live, i want to move there.
mushroomonthemoon 9 months ago
i love this video. its sums everything in 3 min. its nice. i like it a lot.
bigatrain17 10 months ago
This is everything I've been feeling for a long time now.(what feels like forever) Having to wake up everyday hating myself, being called by a name that doesn't define who I am. Wondering how much longer I'll be around for,and if my anxiety and depression takes the wheel from my rationality and sanity. My fear of isolation and rejection coming back. It's hard as hell,but I try to keep the "trans joy" in mind; and the day I will finally be free and happy.
TheElectricDreamer93 11 months ago
Thanks for the empathy. Some days can feel crappy. I think being open and honest about that is good and healthy.
I think there's room for all the different feelings on the spectrum when it comes to transitioning and being trans. So thanks for being honest and open here and for sharing that with others who might not be trans. Maybe it willl help others understand more?
brotherdarek 11 months ago
You can choose to laugh them off. Your reaction to your disadvantage is your choice, largely anyway.
Fourthly, when you feel too depressed that despair affects your normal daily functioning or even suicidal, please please please seek professional help. Medications or counseling can make a big difference. Life is too precious to throw away. Just quit leaves behind broken hearts of those who love you dearly
transfather 1 year ago
Secondly, you were born with a condition which you cant help it, in a way, a disadvantage which you have no choice in deciding. It’s like being dealt a bad hand in poker game. Unfortunately you can change the cards. It’s all up to you how to play the game and make the most out of it.
Thirdly, the choice to be happy or despair is largely in your own hand. You can choose to be happy despite all the setbacks and scorns from the world.
transfather 1 year ago
Thank you so much for your honest sharing. It helps me to understand the anguish of my beloved son who was my daughter before.
Firstly, pls don’t despair for too long. Pls check on U-tube on armless pianist from China. To see people less fortunate than u may lift your spirit. It is moving, I promise u.
transfather 1 year ago
Yeah, thats how I feel all the time, caged in by my body. Except I cant transition, so I'll have to live my entire life in a totally and completely wrong body.
Love your video, great job!
auotaku 1 year ago
Well said.
certainperson 1 year ago 4
It is impossible to be born the "wrong gender" but i was born the wrong species i have always felt like a panda trapped in a human body im having my skin cut off and real fur transplanted on so i can be happy:)
09josdav 1 year ago
"transgender despair" should be called "my despair" there is no such term in existence and this is one persons (your) opinion. this should not be a term to describe all trans folk. it doesnt matter what you do to the outside of your body ...if you are not happy inside you will never be happy outside, wether you are over weight, in "need" of plastic/cosmetic surgery of any type, have a disability, or health problem , it doesnt matter being happy inside is the most important thing
MrLokiedokie 1 year ago
great video man
ThatPunkBrent 1 year ago
Wow sorry my spelling is way off but I'm pretty down hint writing at 3am central time
stardel6 1 year ago
I don't talk about mine a lot but hello to slot of people I'm just a crazy lesbian (never felt either gender) don't like being called lesbian either (I fall for people not a gender) but a lot of mine is also come from having an eating disorder the worst is taking a bath or shower and feeling so numb not just ugly numb
stardel6 1 year ago
@ryanduhast Honey Im not passing judgement on you I just dont want to put between a situation that has nothing to do with me Im sorry but its between you and charles.
Belinda
502belinda 1 year ago
Hmm.A lot of ppl get born the right gender and still are in the wrong body.Imagine being fat, scarred, in a wheel chair, blind,or schizophrenic.Or being impotent with a 12' dick.Or getting prostrate problems.-If you look deeper,most ppl are pretty miserable one way or another."Respect":the one who can give us sth. we show courtesy to,the bum we look down upon.Don't fall in love with words.Every man has capabilities and limitations.My capabilities far outweigh my limitations...
kzam717 1 year ago
everything i've felt since i was 4 years old summed up in 2:55 mins... thank you
canthelpbutloveher 1 year ago
@ryanduhast Im sorry if youve had a run in with Charles but thats none of my business please dont leave anymore messages.
502belinda 1 year ago
I put this video of Charles oin my facebook, I liked the video & assumed he was down when he made it but the response i got was as follows.
He obviously doesnt live in this country (Australia)
Another
If you dont like the ride get off the fucking train.
I was pretty shoked but Charles HAS put the other side of the coin up hundreds of times, I know him as a really happy well natured young man...Go for it Charles if thats the way you feel right now you have the right to say so honey x x x x
502belinda 1 year ago
I absolutely love this video, and I concur with all of it, all of the despair.
moonfire1777 1 year ago
Well said, Charles.
kaynesworld 1 year ago
You just described a huge part of me. So true. I am glad that I am not the only one that has these feelings. Is there a real solution of overcoming the despair? As long as society is the way it is, probably not. I try hard not to think about it and just be the best I can be ... but they (the feelings) are always there.
Mirabella98102 1 year ago
Shouldn't of watched this in bed in the morning. You usually brighten my day!
LeavesdenMr 1 year ago
Great video, Charles. What a comprehensive listing of the issues of being trans... all in under 3 minutes. Excellent. What a good trans spokesperson you make! I hope the despair isn't overwhelming and that you can still enjoy life. Thanks for this very succinct, list of the many issues of being trans. Helps us cis-gendered people remember how important it is to use the right pronoun and treat everyone with equal respect.
Hearten7 1 year ago
and don't forget about accidentally pissing down your leg whe you attempt to stp, without a stp. even worse when in a public toilet.
92MrBender 1 year ago
Amazing message man. We all have those thoughts. Glad to see someone put them into words. Keep on keepin on.
CordenBoh 1 year ago
feeling like anything before transition wasn't you... it was a ghost... I can look back at pictures of myself and it's so hard to believe I wasn't who I thought I was. Then I look back at later ones and think "I wish I figured this out sooner" or "I wish I had done all this sooner" or "I wish I was socialized differently." Seeing the way I used to dress and everything... sometimes I feel like I conformed too much to what other people told me to do.
And all of this... just hurts! It's painful!
MyGenesis122 1 year ago
Wow this is such a beautiful video and so well spoken. Thank you for taking the time to make this video that expresses so well, what it really is like.
olypunkboi 1 year ago
Comment removed
olypunkboi 1 year ago
Amazing, thanks dude
DavisThegreatest 1 year ago
@ryanduhast Im putting it on my facebook too x x
502belinda 1 year ago
I love you Charles. You're not affraid to speak your mind, your not affraid to be yourself, and you have so much pride in yourself, i just wish I could see myself the way you see yourself. Good for you. I'm working on it, it will take some time, but as with healing, it just takes time.
squirtICQ 1 year ago
Thanks, for the vidoe, This is totally how I have felt for the last 3 months... I am working through it...
Charlie you always seem to know what is on my mind..
AxelZSJ 1 year ago
love this.. wow:)
JesseW213 1 year ago
Great video, so true, so true!
fallenlevees 1 year ago
I have a question I'm going into job corps and thinking about transitioning would it be a good idea to? or should i wait
DustinDino88 1 year ago
excellent
Kaleb1303 1 year ago
How about another video on "What is trangender hope?" Got to see both sides of the coin.
LookingforHenry918 1 year ago 18
This video is pure poetry and is so real!
mk9000 1 year ago
Blast the negatives out of the brain.
Being transgender is a gift. Really.
shanesdomain 1 year ago
@shanesdomain :( I feel like there are more negatives than positives...
MyGenesis122 1 year ago
So true :(
BlueZephyrTG 1 year ago
Amen.
blickblocks 1 year ago
gr8 vid
makingmoviesofme 1 year ago
My favorite is when people point out all of things about you physically or emotionally that are stereotypes of your birth sex...
"Thanks Grandma, (Mom or friend) like I haven't already spent countess hours obsessing over all the reasons I hate my body already. I don't need everyone's help remembering why"
oneyoungman87 1 year ago
wow, this video really describes how i feel sometimes, right on the dot, nice video charles.
transbadboy 1 year ago
I know this feeling intimately! And in plain terms... IT SUCKS!
Regards,
Chase
lydcd 1 year ago
WOW... this is REALLYgood !!!
sweetbutcantcook 1 year ago
such a great video!, i love ur videos :]
lizRANdomvideos666 1 year ago