The Aristocrats-Gilbert Gottfried

[3rdStoneFromTheSun]

WHY TEAR THIS UP?

SHOW THE WHOLE JOKE

[PktMma]

The editing put me off this.

[potterfanatic2]

Truly one of the best tellings of a joke ever in the history of comedy. Gilbert is not only truly a hilarious comic but no one can tell a dick joke with as much passion as he does

[goodtimeslover]

Holy Crap!! I never knew Gilbert Gottfried could be so vulgar!!

[CanYouRecord]

He should do Voice Overs for Erotica Books.

[ZedAlfa273]

Gilbert Gottfried is a loud-mouthed jerkoff.

[Killernation]

THIS IS DEFINITELY A MINDFUCK!

[skks666]

this was following his "too soon" 9/11 joke, good recovery.

[AwkWorldsWord]

This is the best version of this joke. Gilbert saved his ass by that, if you didnt know, this was 3 weeks after 9/11. and he was getting booed by making jokes too soon. Who would love to see Louis CK do an aristocrats joke? Like this if you agree. I wanna be on the top of this page, if not. I'm gonna fuck your dog with your dead grandpas dick, while the dog is licking ghandis blood outta ur grandmas asshole, while im fisting ur grandma. while ur niece is licking my asshole, and i cumonurdadsface

[CoolerKing37]

@AwkWorldsWord Louie's whole life he talks about on stage is almost an Aristocrats joke.

[GamrDan]

This joke is legendary, it's like the Holy Grail covered in shit and piss and cum. I was laughing so hard watching this I almost hurled XD

[Orbot]

I don't mind vulgar jokes, but this wasn't funny!

[ChrJahnsen]

@Orbot

Nah, you have to know the joke / point in advance, I think. This is too edited and short to hit the spot. The Aristocrats is all about getting the audience going, and doing that while telling the Aristocrats is the ultimate challenge for a comedian, which is what makes Gilbert Gottftried so brilliant.

[MissTeenPregnancy]

I never thought the joke was funny, it's just that Gilbert is a genius comedian. HE is funny as hell

[ChrJahnsen]

Beyond brilliant! I have seen this 50 times and I still ROFL! Gottfried was put on this Earth to do the Aristocrats!

[ChrJahnsen]

Rob Schneider clearly knows what the Aristocrats joke is about, and his reactions are perfectly similar to mine: nearly puking from laughter! If you know what the joke is about, this is quite possibly the funniest thing you've ever seen. NOBODY on this planet can do the Aristocrats better then Gottfried.

I still get tears in my eyes from laughing at this! "They all jump into the shit and piss and cum!". Delivering the joke as successfully as this takes a phenomenal comedian!

[Daekoni]

I never laughed this much in my life. God forgive me hahahhahahaha

[boatofcoins]

Rob Schneider WOULD pretend to laugh really hard on the floor.

omg i fucking hate Golbert Gottfried.

[Evenflowist314]

@boatofcoins

How you know he's pretending?

[bigddagenius]

@Evenflowist314 he probably just really doesnt like gilbert gottfried, which he did say

[chestersdad07]

Sounds like he talking about the Kardashians or the Osbornes.

[lilgaialover]

south park did it better lol

[deanoeldo]

MEOWTH!

[malkani17]

this is probably the funniest thing Rob Schneider has been in...

[manwithoutfear05]

Where can I find this whole roast???

[dagooda]

@manwithoutfear05 it was never released. Gilbert tried to buy it from the company, but they wanted way too much. It's almost impossible to find the original.

[Robstailey]

the fuck, who's the retard who butchered this clip?

[yourmama404]

I Can imagaine doing this with my family.. Might even try it In real life.. BRB!

[mindstormsabrewin]

When I become president..... this will be my first state of the union address.

[Pepsicoke33]

what was the 911 joke?

[wesselbindt]

@Pepsicoke33

He had to catch a plane out of town, but he was worried because his flight had a connection at the empire state building.

[d4m4s74]

LOL, The aristocrats told to a normal audience!

[wissam24]

Rob Schneider wants some attention

[Tigerlily21]

@wissam24 or maybe he just thinks it's really funny. This is the kind of joke comedians laugh harder at than the audience.

[wissam24]

@Tigerlily21 Well that all depends on if you think Rob Schneider is a comedian

[Jopari444]

cartman did it better

[brsteve]

@Jopari444

But Cartman wasn't doing it live and adlibbing.

[Jopari444]

@brsteve yep thats a good point

[ThePoisonSword]

"We might need to clean this up for TV!"

Best quote ever!

[NLvsENG]

i dont get it

[DoctaDeath]

.... hes the evil pee-wee herman!

[flaksturmAILD]

lol this was pretty good but i think stanhope did a better version, this one def gets 2nd place

[ruinedbyidiots]

12 people sucked and fucked and were rejected by a talent agency.

[jessehubbard444]

lol Gilbert is so funny hahahahahahhahahaha

[HaloedG]

I'd argue that this joke is a nod to the Marquis De Sade.

[Tigerlily21]

@HaloedG haha good point.

[Mad1093]

Rob Schneider literally ROFL's.

[Andy9742]

I dont get it...

[ritter89]

@Andy9742 Look up the sexual practices of aristocracies.......

[skate3745]

@Andy9742 its not supposed to be ''a joke'',the funny part of the joke is that its so disgusting....

[elbruces]

See the documentary of the same name. Anybody who knows this joke will be rolling on the floor long before it's over.

[Remkoe91]

treu hero

[FakeAndGhey]

Fake and gay

[Darthsikk]

I love how so many of you are pretending you've known about "the aristocrats" forever, like it's just common knowledge. The truth is, close to none of you would have heard of the joke period if not for Penn's documentary, and NONE of you would have ever heard Gottfried tell it for damn sure if it wasn't for that movie. Quit acting so snide with th people that have never heard the joke.

[slitheen]

@Darthsikk

Or could it just be that they actually have heard it years ago, yet you never, so you feel inadequate somehow? I heard it first in the documentary...but I have no reason to disbelieve those who have heard it before. I mean the whole reason it got made into a documentary was because of the the fact it is such a well known gag.

[Darthsikk]

@slitheen For one, don't address me like that unless you know me. I'm not your friend, and I don't need your amateur psychoanalysis. Next, I don't feel inadequate in the least. My father used to do stand up, so I heard the joke when I was young. Furthermore, the documentary was made because the "joke" is so LITTLE KNOWN outside of "the business". You just slapped yourself into that category of liars and pseudo elitists I mentioned in my previous post. Congratulations tough guy.

[slitheen]

@Darthsikk

You need to learn to follow a thread. You accused those of having heard the joke years ago of being liars, while I said I heard it the first time in the documentary. Further, it is not some elite, "little known" joke only told between comedians, several of the comedians in the documentary say they have used it in their acts. Gilbert Gottfried has done it live many, many times....in front of large audiences. No need for a psychology degree to analyse you, you're an open book.

[Darthsikk]

@slitheen You need to garner the ability to comprehend what you read moron. I specifically addressed the people calling others stupid, or otherwise condescending to those whom had not heard the "joke". You, are a child looking for validation through conflict. Which in and of itself is an indicator of low self esteem. The fact you're trying to continue this "exchange" with this ridiculous piece of ad-hominem based diatribe. Run along child, I don't have the patience of your kind anymore.

[slitheen]

@Darthsikk

"You need to garner the ability to comprehend what you read moron" - "The fact you're trying to continue this "exchange" with this ridiculous piece of ad-hominem based diatribe"

As my wife would say; "Oh the ironing".

[Darthsikk]

@slitheen So this alleged "wife" of yours, who I'm sure has a penis, is as much of a stupendously daft ingrate as yourself? Fantastic for you, from step one to here, you were insulting me directly looking for a fight... Maybe you should brush up on your definition of "Irony". I'm sorry I bit, as you house the intellectual acuity of a dead puppy. Just move along and spare us both any further interaction.

[slitheen]

@Darthsikk

I'm not "biting" at the cheap insult to my wife. I'll smile safe in the knowledge that I have the love of a wonderful woman and you'll die a sad, lonely, ugly fuckwit. I also know the definition of irony, and someone accusing another person of being ad-hominem in an argument while calling them a moron is the very definition of it. You're also completely ignoring the fact that *you* were the only one looking for a fight when you were accusing people of lying, and for no good reason.

[Darthsikk]

@slitheen For one, you silly little girl. You already bit, by going to my page and spewing your silliness there. As well, you obvious don't know what ad-honinem arguments are, see, it's not something someone like you can just pop onto wikipedia and autodidactically impart to yourself. Mine call you a moron, was just me imparting the obvious.

You don't seem to really know what irony means, as you've used in that standard laymans manner of "a funny little coincidence or twist". Now please, f off.

[slitheen]

@Darthsikk

Ad-hominem CAN mean attacking the person you're debating with, using insults that make no meaningful point as regards the subject matter of the debate. Of course it can mean something more profound than that, but that WAS the context you were attempting to use it in. I have no use for Wikipedia (usually compiled by eejits), I had ad-hominem described to me by my lecturer. As for irony, unintentional, ignorant hypocrisy may not be the only or finest example, but it IS ironic.

[Darthsikk]

@slitheen Ugh, you're quite the crybaby, on top of being a ninny aren't you. And no lecturer explained ad-hominem fallacies to you. Or you would see just how ignorant you are in your attempt to make it fit here. I simply insulted you, I did not imply that you were incorrect because you're an idiot. Nor did I say that your lack of character merits someone taking anything you say at lesser value.

I don't need to, we're not debating. You however, were attempting to imply a logical fallacy earlier.

[slitheen]

@Darthsikk

Actually, I was happily debating...but you were intent on an "I'm smarter than you" pissing contest. One you have drastically failed in, I might add. Next time, I suggest you learn basic and proper punctuation before you attempt something so bold. And to think, you accused me of being the autodidact. Hilarious!

You have to be one of the most deluded, self-important wankers I have come across. Any road up, now you're boring me, and that simply will not do. Goodbye, tiresome pissant.

[Darthsikk]

@slitheen Right, and here you again, begin to cry. You're not debating, you're looking for something to do. Again, I've gone too far into feeding your moronic nature. Though, I do think it's incredibly amusing to watch you sway between hot and cold, your tantrums are a wonderfully textbook sign of anger based on fragility. So think what you will, I'm sure in your deluded mind you've gone and "shown me what for", and if that helps you make it through your day better, than I am happy for you.

[Darthsikk]

@slitheen Now however, I will take to using ad-hominem mechanics in their intended application. You ARE an idiot, you are also a liar, and poser. Nothing you have presented, from attitude, to information or verbiage during dialog has been legitimate. Because, you are an idiot. But you've obviously spend a lot of time trying to convey to other people these feelings of superiority you've deluded yourself into to protect your ego. Hereby rendering anything you have to say moot in the process.

[Darthsikk]

@slitheen Pardon me, "My calling you a moron".

[ritter89]

@Darthsikk Yeah, it is, unless you've been living on another planet. How the hell did anyone here make it mast 13 without realizing that incest was an accepted practice within many royal families???? That's common knowledge. For a graphic representation, see Caligula by Bob Cuccioni, circa '82. Royal families have always believed that the "commoners" were impure and beneath them so they'd breed amongst themselves, which resulted in many genetically mutated rulers/kings/queens.

[DonRMB]

Im surprised some people dont know about the aristocrats joke,its such a classic joke.. it even has a documental about it.It's like an inside joke between comedians wich is why YOU werent laughing,but rob scheneider and jimmy kimmel were loving it xD

[daviddarkmaster]

To this day, the entire full 10 minute routine Gilbert did; has not been seen by the public. Clips and video like this yes; but never the entire routine.

[TheFootballax]

that wasn't funny at all

[mysticx0]

@TheFootballax if you saw the aristocrats you would get it...trust me its fucking hilarious. it isnt the punchline, its the journey to it...i cant explain it but you should watch the aristocrats....

[DBand3]

@TheFootballax is that because ur dad has already fist fucked u before and uve fucked ur mom inside a big mountain of shit that ur dog made on the carpet and u find this joke more offensive than funny?

[mormonjoe]

I want to hear him make the airplane joke first.

[curryboy7]

whose roast is this

[RedArcheryGirl92]

@curryboy7 Hugh Hefner

[ShaDHP23]

This has gotta be the biggest roast of all time

[RakimAllah777]

Is there a full version?

[nat2nathan2005]

I love the whole documentary, I have the whole thing on DVD, never fails to make me laugh! This and Jason Alexander's version have to be my favorites!

[barthramone]

Lastima que esta cortado :S

[beaupeep1]

Hey Bitches. I don't get it.

[thetevinator]

@beaupeep1 It's just not what you call an act like that.

[tmrobertson]

@beaupeep1 There's nothing to get - the joke is in the reaction of the "victim" to the horrific things you're saying.

[squidinkUK]

Chopped up the rhythm of the joke somewhat

[g0d0fgu1tar]

lololololol what the fuck??? messed up

[GBpueblo]

the best way....the joke has ever been told. golden!

[pliskin100]

I still dont get the punchline. The aristocrats? Is it some political joke?

[Torgoable]

@pliskin100 It's supposed to be The Sophisticates, but he ad-libbed.

[bustub2]

There are at least 2 versions, usually aristocrats is the more well known. It's cool you knew sophisticates.

[Torgoable]

Actually the one I have memorized is the Cock-sucking Baby-raping Shit-eating Sodomites, but in that one they just sit around drinking tea and eating crumpets.

[bustub2]

What a juxtaposition, even better, lol.

[TheGothicPerson77]

I believe aristocrat stands for "well mannered and clean."

[ForwardGaming]

The aristocrats joke is a punchline in itself. The whole joke is the punchline. Understand what the media is suppose to bring to the audience. The aristocrats, in some way or another ignores that.

[TheFender2010]

@DivineBanana Nice copy and paste.

[NeverforgetElvis]

The joke is in the crazy way it is told. The ending is not the punchline, but how the talent agent calmly asks "so what do you call it?" It's kind of like a reverse joke. You laugh during, not at the end like 99.99% of all other jokes.

[fabettoni]

@pliskin100

OMG....really? are you dense?

[HuskerDu2]

@pliskin100 The punchline isn't as much the joke as much as the way the comedian(ne) gets to the punchline. Just the fact that such a rude, crude, vulgar and sick act could call itself "classy" is just the absurity of the whole act in general.

[Jasonlords]

I like how the punchline of this joke is the title.

[spike14501]

I'd like to see Ace Frehley during this bit

[TheJamescope]

shame you can't see it unedited just all the way through the cutting just screws it up you can't edit jokes that's what comedians do when preparing them to get maximum effect like "where was i? Oh yer the son is lickong out the father's arsehole." He didn't really forget that's prob how he planned the telling of the joke don't just bugger it all up.

[ruinedbyidiots]

By far the greatest telling of this joke.

[ShadowoOfBlood]

Man falling out of his chair making Gillbert laugh = mega lulz

[DrVegasIII]

Know body does this joke better!!! Gilbert 4 President!!! Better choice than Palin anyway, thats for damn sure!!!!

[nintruendo]

I don't get it.

[ACE0HUNTER]

Gilbert did a 9/11 joke which the audience thought was a bot too soon, so to get back at the audience he told the aristocrat joke, the longest, dirtiest joke known to man.

The original joke is supposed to compare the filthiest things people can do with aristocrats (rich, posh people) but that's kind of redundant now as everyone knows the joke. Now It works on one simple principal:

PURE FILTH - the fithier the better.

[huntergatherers]

where can you see the full clip?

[ACE0HUNTER]

I don't think there is a full clip... I've only seen it in loads of intervals, but the whole thing is amazing.

[shirye]

@ACE0HUNTER

What does every Japanese person have in their apartment? Flood lights.

-Gilbert Gottfried

[sampson5507]

its just pose to be outrageous

[FoxGuy777]

The point of the joke is to shock and offend the audience, pushing the limits and seeing how long you can keep the sick act going.

[Nateb123]

No, it really isn't. It's a comedian's inside joke. It's not supposed to be funny to a conventional audience. There just happened to be a lot of comedians in the audience.

[SDAddario88]

Is that Rob Schneider laughing uncontrolably in the background?? HAHAHA

[SinisterManiac]

It is haha!

[magrohT]

oh thx my bad ;)

[magrohT]

i love hiz voice !!

[ople89]

thats not his real voice

[magrohT]

but that doezn't mean it iz not funny ,,

[ople89]

i know it hilarious

just letting the good people know this

the real voice is on youtube as well

[jacklawr]

Oddly, instead of posting the whole joke, the poster seems to have simply cut out all the joke parts out of a documentary talking about the joke, meaning parts are missed and it keeps jumping. Every now and again you can hear the narrator.

[TrigerOriginal]

El mejor chiste de la historia... quien me apoya!?

[angeltaker]

he visto el documental, y la verdad es un kague de risa... y concuerdo con los entrevistados de que el que mejor conto este chiste es Gilbert Gottfried. te soy sincero no pare de reirme en una hora entera

[vladimirbrahim]

no mames este chiste lo vi anoche en un programa de una hora con el mismo estuvo de poca madre me cague de risa como no se lo imaginan porq el cabron cuando esta contando sus chistes de pronto imita haciendo la voz de jerry seindfiel y te cagas de risa, aparte ver como esta rob schneider tirado de la risa no mames, LIKUOR gracias men te la rifaste con el video cabron.

[nneutral]

deberian ponerlo completo.. junto a los comentarios del documental