Time Releases List Of Least Influential Americans

[supdawg444]

This list is paradoxical; as soon as you're on it you gain influence.

[cyanmanta]

Dammit, I never make the list. I try so little every year...

[Holidayruin]

LOL, read the bottom banner right at the end of the video.

[Masterkill852]

1:38 "Traffic Alert: In Greensboro, NC, Interstate 40 experiencing heavy delays as hundreds of drivers slow to watch two turtles fucking"

[TheYouwontgetit]

that dark-skinned boy is an asshole...

[honchoryanc]

lol im from fort wayne.. Harry Baals dr representen

[TheUsername1029]

what about all the single nerds who spend their days jerking off and watching internet videos :'(

[sesshoumaru3st]

LOL are they bashing obama for 2 years of promising adjustments and not doing shit? hahaha genius.

[Horticultural1]

@sesshoumaru3st Obama wasn't even President yet when this video was made, "genius".

[lnr08f]

I wan't a sir-knifes-a-lot with knifing action

[nascargo19thesecond]

I was #3!!!

[93ason]

@Jefgg Well, you made the most thumbed-up comment on this video. That's pretty influential.

[treemanmusic]

I'm number 1,425,662!

Not that anyone cares.

[KenFan4life]

anyone else think the "glee" advertisement before the video was perfect...

[liamsp544]

No, absolutely.

[theyXXcallXXmeXXkyle]

" Hes a claims adjuster and he went 2 years without making a uhhh adjustment...that's amazing"

hahaha

[cronon94]

he has a wife and 2 kids and nobody listens to him? lol

[rabidsquirrelfur]

"Officials say the next 9/11 will replace 9/11 as the new 9/11"

[achap940]

why does the guy from TIME call the host Dean......his name's clearly Glenn

[fuzzytaco211221]

wtf i live in fort wayne, that is not suburban fort wayne

[Horticultural1]

@fuzzytaco211221 there are other untrue statements in this news report.

[psyckojoe]

"husband and father of 2"

how is that in the top 10k least influencial?

[HeroineWith1000Faces]

..."he works here."

[2boss5]

does anyone else think that the "coming up" headlines are better than the actual videos?

[12qzwx]

0:26 epic

[AngeluuNetaaa620]

heÿ_Áñÿ_guýs_wäñt_to_chÂt_wïth­_mÊ

[midna007]

@AngeluuNetaaa620 no

[giroalvaII]

the reporter kinda looks like mark knopfler.

[collinbollin]

the next 9/11 will replace 9/11 as the new 9/11

[keen14you]

I URGE ALL OF YOU TO HELP ME REACH THE TOP OF TIME'S LEAST INFLUENTIAL AMERICANS!!! PLEASE MESSAGE ME FOR MY DETAILS AND CONTACT INFO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOGETHER WE CAN MAKE THIS HAPPEN

[femstarlight]

Shane Patterson definitely grew up in Indiana, the fact that he won't come back is proof. I know his suffering.

[JAAvril]

That's amazing.

[RichartI]

He looks so much better with (more) hair 

[hectorcancino]

LOL

........ he works here.

[bollocks2who]

@hectorcancino ROFL!! I laughed so hard! Even the people who work with him don't even notice he exists, without looking at his profile!

[blueberry01120]

@undertyped lol haha that was a funny episode of south park cereally

[Himbeertoni90]

"He works here." ^^

[TheLilwayne338]

why so fake

[VizzedRoms]

@undertyped1 It's manbearpig, not bearmanpig...

[canen45]

@VizzedRoms what are you crazy? its pigbearman!

[MusicMan53100]

AH! Council Bluffs IA! Im attending college there ... here ... Whatever! lol

[animaeadict1]

I kinda wanna see bush talk with the korean guy now... :/

[wiesonurcomix]

0:01 see!

[CoverHaven]

#LOL

[CARROTMOLD]

Lmao I live in Fort Wayne

[nvanwensen]

Haha! "That dark skinned boy would be really missed the day he doesn't bring you a danish"

[clivey8k]

fucking racists

[MusicMan53100]

@clivey8k Dude, this show is a joke. If you dont like it, then dont watch it.

[MOMORPIGER]

I live in Fort Wayne... It sucks cock here.

[honchoryanc]

@MOMORPIGER I JUST MOVED TO CALI FUCKKK YEA

[MOMORPIGER]

@honchoryanc I will one day move to Cali too.  I want to be a stand up so hopefully I can get the fuck out of here.

[honchoryanc]

@MOMORPIGER The economy doesn't suck here, just come out here and "wing it" that's what I did.

[photon72]

Peace talk without a translator...that might work.

[CT2507]

haha... these guys are funny.

[itsmeadrian1234]

haha so funny i don't understand this

[heatflash888]

0:15 And the winner of the bride of wildenstein look alike contest is ...

[PringlesLover123]

@heatflash888 lolz. I thought it was special make-up at first.

[jasrogg]

i know jim stutts this is bullshit

[aknonnerd]

what happened to the onion dudes hair?

[Maldar345]

Officials say the next 9/11 will replace 9/11 as the new 9/11.

[lunestaa]

Four hours of black and white footage of abandoned grain silos.

[argozempo]

Time releases their list of who?

[imtripping23]

Christen Weston Chandler is #1

[stopthat21]

LOL - "ever since high school he's been telling me I should move back to high school....I don't think I will though."

[originalgreengourd]

@stopthat21 i think you mean, "move back to indiana'

[Jefgg]

I am insulted I didn't make the list. I can't even get a piece of hand. My ex-girlfriend used to call me other guy's names when she wasn't falling asleep during sex. My twin brother forgets my birthday. I am very uninfluential. A pair of shoe trees could fill my shoes.

[cp69yoo]

@Jefgg I love you

[Manofaction0]

"He's a claim adjuster and he went two years without making an adjustment."

"Yeah."

"That's amazing."

[ChowyDaMan]

LOL Little Dark Skinned boy XD

[sebringdnf]

Please buy Franklin Kearns book about Anteaters.

[ltlwatcher]

Wait until they get to know me.

[LemmeLieHere]

Hey! I'm number 3,457th on the list! Cool!

[oddvidios]

@LemmeLieHere not anymore, i just replied to your comment

[LemmeLieHere]

@oddvidios I meant 3,475th on the list of 'Least Influential Americans'. I may have become even less influential since that reply.

[marchofsaints]

He's a claims adjuster and he went two years without making an adjustment.

[fallenangel165]

that dark skinned boy would be missed when he didn't bring you a danish

[ukendcx2000]

jim has nobody, lmao!

[fuss101]

National anthem screamed; full coverage at 6 pm EST

[andyllamanipl]

I am # 753

[348joey]

*searches list*

"Ya he works here."

Awesome.

[oddvidios]

i influence your mom to take her clothes off

[orangeapples]

"He works here."

[Parz1fal]

Speaking about their other list, I think Obama should rank AFTER Bernanke because everyone knows that having really really white teeth doesn't make you as powerful as having total control about all money there is.

[Pathogenous]

How long will it take for dumbasses to realize that The Onion is a news network that reports fake stories, sometimes controversial, but very very funny.

[jwfickett]

HILARIOUS: the last thing on the bottom line...'Traffic Alert: In Greensboro, NC, I-40 experiencing heavy delays as hundreds of drivers slow to watch two turtles fucking."

YES! 336 Represent!

[muffinman202]

@MyMadra it's the onion...it isn't real...

[Aziztheterrorist]

Seeing this gave me this idea: How about Time releases List of 10 worst presidents?

[Wesley296]

@Aziztheterrorist there are plenty of those.

[randomxm1]

I would have Made the list but I influence people to either vomit on sight, or run in the opposite direction. Maybe next year.

[darknessofkrish]

"Now what makes him less influential...say..than little dark skinned boy who comes by and brings me coffee and donuts .." classic

[argozempo]

I knew Jim Stutts, Jim Stutts was a friend of mine, but I completely forgot about Jim Stutts after I moved out of Bugtussle.

[Silverambera]

299 million least influential Americans? That means everyone in America (except little children) Funny as usual :)

[rey4every]

lol

[manoman0]

Bush can handle peace talks with North Korea without Translator....

LOL

[Daviticus1000]

"Four Hours Of Black And White Footage Of Abandoned Grain Silos"--coming soon to a theatre near YOU! Or not!:D

I wonder if there's a similar list for Canadians? I'd be a shoo-in!

[SkilesASMB]

LOL at Council Bluff, Iowa.

[SatanicSBA]

he keeps telling me that i should move back to indiana... but i don't think i will.

[anewtrend]

I Want to be just like Jim when i grow up.

[monkeynut000]

0:27 ....he works here. hahaha

[jhakhohbhy]

I just got operated, and now im suffering to much pain bec of this video, LOL

[Pahnarama]

"That would do it" XD

[e5f3aj]

"TRAFFIC ALERT: In Greensboro, NC, Interstate 40 experiencing heavy delays as hundreds of drivers slow to watch two turtles fucking"

[keekeekoko101]

@e5f3aj i just lold for over two hours WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF FOR ALMOST MAKEIND ME DIE?

[Alx1860]

@e5f3aj i live right around there and i actually wouldn't be surprised. One time on I85, I sat completely still in traffic for an hour and a half because idiots were trying to avoid a freakin CHICKEN crossing the road.

And don't get me started on the constant backup on 77 due to idiots staring out at Lake Norman like they've never seen water before

[dabum2005]

"And still to come, news from Washington: President Bush insists that he can handle peace talks with North Korea without a translator. We'll have that story."

HAHAHAHAHA!  I love the Onion.

[Majic031]

lol i know i love the little "more to come" stories they put in at the end!

[The7SOULS]

surely these ppl are the funniest thing to happned to Yourtube?!! !!!!!

[katikar1]

rofl, Matell recalls these toys: sir knifes-a-lot with knifing action, easy flam broiler, and fat barbie

haha classic

[SENTRY000]

Poor jim.

[ISOhunt3r]

ROFL... the next 9/11 will replace the current 9/11 as the 9/11

hahahaha

[SecularTechnology]

... and the 9/11 that is the 9/11 will replace the 9/11 that is not rightfully 9/11 which to speak of 9/11 does not correctly stand in the 9/11 placemark, for 9/11

[StuUngar]

"I-40 experiences heavy delays as hundreds of drivers slow to watch two turtles fucking"

LOL

That's funny bc it's true. people on interstates slow down and back up traffic for the stupidest shit.

[MyPersonalVendetta]

I'm so forgettable, I sometimes forget about myself. And sometimes I put myself to sleep when I think I'm doing something clever. I should be on that list.

[JuryDutySummons]

You would be, if anyone noticed.

[DamienHell]

When are they coming out with a Canadian version? I'll definitely be on that list.

[riptiderobin15]

The news anchor shaved his head, or he was wearing a wig...

[kayakingfool17]

that bitch looks like she got hit in the face with a shovel

[ADreamer91]

this and ppls comments are funny

[Sydpart2]

damn, I live in Ft. Wayne...hurter

[cloudberry121]

What about me? I'm completely forgettable.

[jaredismelol]

Lawl the boss guy has to check to see if he even worked there lawl i love the onion.

[ChrisMelnibone]

"I think it's wonderful. He's finally getting recognition, just for not having an effect on anyone"

rofl

[Proudnewfoundlander1]

"hundreds slow on virginia interstate to wach two turtles fucking" hahahahahaha

[TehPinkEmoBunni]

Greensboro, NC. <_<

[traditionalwiseguy77]

Why the hell did he call him "Dean"? His name is Glen Bannon.

(--------) *Nods* "He Works Here."

[ichigo73186]

@traditionalwiseguy77 idk, probly a reference to supernatural or something.

[spider23000]

The funniest thing on Onion is the scrolling feed at the bottom of the screen -

"Mattel issues recall for the following toys: Sir Knifes-A-Lot with knifing action, Easy Flame Broiler, and Fat Barbie"

[StudioEyeball]

Actually, I'm Jim Sluts. I mean Stutts.

[Kw1q51lv3r]

"... *nod* he works here."

ROFLKOPTER

[andyllamanipl]

i must be number 1

[whatever30345]

I'm #1 and proud of it!

[domehgt]

what? who said that..? did anyone heard something too?

[supergamer73]

nobody is going to belive it but my name is Jim Stutts

[ploopyfaceplant]

i bet it was a bit of a surprise watching this for the 1st time lol

[whatever30345]

That's odd, because I'm Jim Stutts.

[Veerwhil]

holy shit i should be on that list

[elchamber]

The video feels kind of stale. I think it's the editing and the speed of the video. Still funny...

[gingasnap12341]

not at all i think its 1 of the better 1ns

[tylertyler82]

What's up with his hair in this one?

[csbob2004]

youtube is getting gay with all its commercials

[Zanna6197791]

w-w-w-w-wheeeere did his hair go?!?!?

[klorn1]

And the beestmode person has been coming on this video all the time for a month picking arguments. What the fuck? Get some friends.

[klorn1]

Did anyone notice the scrolling bar at the bottom? My favorite was

Mattel issues recall for the following toys - Sir-Knifes-A-Lot with knifing action, easy flame broiler and fat barbie.

And you two idiots thinking you're badass with your internet fights, HA! What's that, I think I hear you guys' moms calling you for your milk and cookies and naptime.

[bmwx3turbo]

lol youtube fights...

[jrichholland]

the funny thing is, both you basement dwelling urchins forget is that you're typing.

btw, mom almost has your pizza pockets done, go grab a snack and get ready for your naps..

[beestmode360tube]

hey you fuck youre the one who spent the time reading all the comments and got upset about it. Go cry me a river in your panic room and then shove both of your fists ALL THE WAY INTO YOUR ASS

[NCbassfishing24]

Ha, I live near Greensborro. Most people would do that.

[icevr10]

wow, thats a coincident, im originally from council bluffs, iowa, i can easily see why they picked that place for a "least influential" person to live.

[LDSMovieReviews]

ha i live in council bluffs now - as i always have.

[lucasw122333]

lmao at the final message on the text crawl

[shinigami136]

that caught my eye too. I live in Greensboro, just like it says, and believe me, I have actually seen traffic stop, just so that people can observe two turtles, fucking on the side of the road.

[DaVoltaire]

Bush handling peace talks with North Korea WITHOUT a translator? Uh-oh! I smell sitcom!

[hellogoodbye194]

i hope they realize they are having a religious debate through the comment box of a video that is a satirical news show

[Ikumei]

That's just the natural behavior of Preachus-Overanythingus

[beestmode360tube]

i hope you realize my dicks in your mouth right now

[Jonassoe]

Wow people are being thump down'd for pretending to be stupier than the avarage YouTube commenter :O

[MrJokeKiller]

Why would TIME Magazine highlight UN-influential people? Wouldn't 299,000,000 people take up a lot of pages, therefore killing a lot of trees? In my opinion, I don't think TIME did the right thing.

[sloppyjoes7]

Your comment is win, and your name is revealing.

[akamouse213]

lol

[ice1n]

ROFL

[dumbnetworks]

where is his hair???? O_o

[alexglauer]

Yeah, it looks like they shaved it right before they shot this.

[Noarcs]

"Officials say the next 9/11 will replace 9/11 as the new 9/11"

[ImmigrationL]

"...President Bush Insist that he could handle peace talks with North Korea without a translator..."

"National Anthem Screamed: Full Coverage at 6pm EST."

"Mattel Issues recall for the Following Toys - Sir Knifes-a-lot with knifing action, Easy Flame Broiler and Fat Barbie."

"Traffic Alert:

In Greensboro, NC. Interstate 40 experiencing heavy delays as hundreds of drivers slow to watch two turtles fucking."

The writers on this network are insane lol.

[frenchfrey65]

particurly the fact that '2 turtles fucking' made it on there! when this can easily be a daily comedy show for families XD

[MelaniePortrip]

This is too raunchy to be a family show even without the swearing.