How to be funny tip # 76: WHEEZY!

[phillyhippie]

I didn't know Dave was an escapist lol

[floyddparsons]

I combined a couple tips. I got down in the snow and faked some kids into thinking I was hurt, then took out a bottle of Jack and asked them for diabetes meds and directions to Rez casino.

[canucks117]

Damn it Dave, you made me pee my pants!

[terminatorgir]

do you do stand up in utah? some friends and i would love to come see it

[TheFoofanatic]

Hey! I don't want to be an arse. but your show would be so much better if you did it in real life! It doesn't have to be random people you haven't met before. Make a sketch out of you tips with actors or something something!!

[s6lewis]

I use your gym tip. I go too goldsgym with a box of powdered donuts rasberry filled in my gym bag. I walk around with a doning currels with dumbbell and one gives a werid look I say what I'm trying bulk up. It's got me a lot laughs unfornatly it's got me kick out of the gym a few times as well. Well I don't think you could ever be a rube.

[DE4001]

I made little pieces of paper with all your tips on them.

For this episode it would be:

"How to be funny tip #76: Pretend to be a perverted asthmatic"

Wherever I see a tips jar I put one or two of those pieces in.

[ph3nton]

My favourite has to be replacing the shoes at the store for your own. PS, I really want a signed poster of you, but it isn't cool to give crap away. I hope I dont get accused of being a rube...

[rethinkOURreality]

This reminds me of the Fake Divorce tip. You know, faking something that's not there in the first place, like fake asthma.

Plus, how can you be funny at a rock show?

[BrandenSaysHello]

do my fingers smell like lemons or poo?

oops sorry i meant to send that to someone else sorry

[jonathonwallen]

this works! i got laid last night because of this...at the jail i went to when they arrested me. my butt hurts but thats the sacrifice we have to make for comedy. now send me free stuff ya rube.

[SplendorVendor]

The title made me think you got Wheezy Waiter on your show : /

[sarahroflol]

@SplendorVendor /watch?v=KKYOrX3ROXQ&feature=r­elmfu !!!

[ballziretti]

Obviously going to a funeral and checking if the dead person's heart is still beating.

[bostontranslation]

renee zellweger! SOOOO HOOOOT!!! I can't breathe...

[ThePellstar]

Your the anti-rube Dave! Keep it up. So glad your back! We have missed you.

[ThePellstar]

Lmao. So wish I could go to vid con. Just to meet you man.

[curtisbrown99]

So i'm banned from a theater now......all i did was point a flashlight at folks and say "SHOW ME YOUR TICKET!" and tackle my friend......my freind got off scott free and got a free popcorn, i got banned......rube

[platapouce]

This episode is more about being a creep than funny...

[johnjcb1]

@platapouce Being a creep leads to being funny, I find. Accept any victim of the creepiness.

[Lucasbluecat]

I heard a story about ones of my friends pretending to be retarded and this other friends were pushing and telling him to walk faster. Other people started to get mad thinking he really was a tard. Funny!

[bdejong7]

we love your free crap dave

[completeidiot19]

Yes I was near someone having an asthma attack: It was me. :)

[MarchingBandDropout]

I dressed as a Squib for the Harry Potter premiere and wet around "reading people's minds." (Tip #32) It was a real hit. And by real hit, I mean my friend whacked me on the head for being annoying after a couple hours of me reading his mind repeatedly. Guess some people were just born to be a rube!

[mmp2011]

no...if you see a pretty girl you say "hothhothotothothothothothotho­thothothot"

[turdfurgeson3]

What's the deal with the heroin addict behind you?

[xTrenia]

You should mention that people that actually have asthma should be very cautious when doing this. I've seen my fair share of asthma related deaths from boys who wheeze rube.

[mdreyno]

I loved your tip about how to be funny in a text message. But my favorite one was the tip about faking a divorce.

That's why I know you'll help me be funny on this one...

I need help being funny in the delivery room. Hurry... baby is coming soon and I think my woman will need some comedic relief during labor.

[alec52MINNESOTA]

How can you be funny at funerals? Everyone is always sad and whenever I try to be funny they act like rubes

[JeeRaph]

You sound like a zombie.

[CassesVultus]

I bet this works even better if you have an inhaler. Prop comedy rules, just ask Carrot Top.

[acmilan10italia]

it would be funny if you were a waiter and you did that. then you'd be wheezy waiter.

[bdejong7]

@acmilan10italia never seen that though.. ;)

[bubblegum7012]

Awesome!! Lol im gonna try!

[ZOMGitsKENNY]

Dave! I love the suit. Can I have it?

[mklein1998]

haha not first

[996santiago]

i would say first but i want to learn how to be funny

[sextacy13]

first