Traveling Group Of Medieval Mummers Is America's Top Pick For Holiday Entertainment

[2ECFIGHTING2]

turn on you're captions, you will thank me.

[LiliFromHali]

At the beginning of this I totally thought "mummers" were the people who made mummies for the Ancient Egyptians. I was a bit afraid to find out what kind of act they did to entertain people.

[mojoboy1984]

Do you even know what Ho Ho Ho means ? Of course you know you bloody Devilans ! It means 666 ! How many letters are between h and o ?

[jeremycollins09]

@mojoboy1984 you just blew my mind....

[BBardz]

@matt2000100

Hate to tell you, but referring to someone as 'black' or 'white' is not racist. It cannot be. It is descriptive. If derogatory comments are part of calling them 'white' or 'black' it is bigotry, not racism.

[mikedoles]

what are mummers?

[AsianManGV3]

@mikedoles Im a mummer, we are a breed of entertainers

[tarantulady]

I LOVE the cycle of rebirth!!!

[DoubleAssClown]

Whats up with the captions?

[Fendertastic]

Stars Fix? ..eh.

[AndrewJamesYo]

i dont get it

[XxXPerseus]

i love the onion for its great writing team, and the actors who have to read these lines are great

[AustrianChaos]

"Former child porn star making a splash into adult film word"

Damn TheOnion, riding the edge of tastefulness like in the good old times! xD

[BroadwayKid2008]

... What the fuck happened to The Onion?

>:|

[centercity1]

oh nooo the dead rat is still sitting on her head

[TheD0RKNIGHT]

eventually I found bowmanmaster and realized he is a trolling stupid twat

[ChadOzzy101]

I used to be a mummer.......but then I caught bubonic plague and died

[DOYLERULES69X]

Yeah right, I scoff at this. No self respecting mummer would ever have relations with the moorish trollop in this video.

[syafiqjabar]

@DOYLERULES69X

Once you go Moor, you'll always want more.

[DarkBunnyLord]

@syafiqjabar Of course, because just one can't get an entire field picked by harvest.

[theapollomoonlanding]

I went to a state university. Our basketball team is good.

[theapollomoonlanding]

I'm a land owner. I miss my serfs.

[quidnick]

lol Historical Humouuuuuuuuuuuuur.

[swirled101]

You all should go buy a bridge to live under, live Danny Devito did.

[7255202]

Bowman and all who replied to him are just sad. buncha bs about thier pride and hating on eachother. The whole trolling concept is fucked up childish side of human nature we should strive to grow out of as a whole. A total waste of time when we should be working together to make badass things like spacestations, legalizing pot, studying other dimentions and making porn. why not contribute to awesomeness of world instead of being sucktards? that all you can do?

[Woski27]

I'm just here for BowmanMaster's retard comments, it's funnier than the video!!!

[sandking0099]

not mummers!!!! bards!!!! BARDS!!!!

[MrNosnitram]

Go To the Onion's Youtube page, click Uploads, look at the videos in the Right Side Bar, Check out the Date Uploaded......

[Polyaminopropyl13]

Those actresses are pretty dam good.

[marvesmarves]

hi

[coropa1996]

did anyone read the banner at the bottom of the screen? "kate hudson gets a star on the walk of fame in exchange for going away." made my day.

[CrazyForCooCooPuffs]

MUMMERS MUMMERS MUMMERS

[JeeRaph]

I don't think I get it.

[Elzebub666]

Anyone here really give a shit about BowmanMaster?

[gruntscream95]

obvious troll is obvious

[calmURfarm]

@BowmanMaster smd -3

[crack4037]

I don't know whats more pathertic- bowmanmaster or the people responding to him

[Demonmack0]

Lol, very nice

[Killer33940]

"Oh I love lutes"  "Who doesn't?" Ezio.

[98buddosc]

Now I have to find out what BowmanMaster said :I

[crack4037]

@98buddosc ctrl F. it makes life so much easier

[Lasf0]

Why the fuck are all the comments about some dude called BowmanMaster?

[charliebham21]

haha i love it how both top comments are just fucking over this kid who probably said something stupid but I'm too lazy to check so il just like them

[Whapastim2]

@charliebham21 My thoughts exactly

[StoneTemp1Pilot]

When D&D players pick the entertainment. Fun.

[hudi124]

...what a mummer's farce

[cyberjimbond]

That's so old school fun.

[melora72]

For a few seconds I forgot that this is The Onion and thought it was real. I thought to myself "Who are the Mummers? If they're so popular, why have I never heard of them before?" That last question drew me back to reality and I remembered that this is The Onion.

[CozyChameleon]

the mummers came to my house and it was AWSOME

[sonorra]

Yeah everywhere I go people are asking .... NOT

[hafabee]

I love a good jaunty caper!

[Cranklol]

1:14, "Ryan Gosling tells People Magazine he has a "pretty little penis"

[imPuLse1x2]

mumford and sons.

[micger]

these new segments by tracy clarke is not funny!

[sanity1001]

Ohhh, these perfect (and funny) brown babes are soo the equal of any white babes I am sposed to admire. Why is that?

[jovanm91]

Looks like someone has been feeding the troll. Tsk tsk

[chiidora]

@pokemonmaster Miss you bro

[Dominieren]

faggots | |  |

[mostnormal]

i wanna live under a bridge!!

[ChiefTroll302]

Hooray for having an excuse to use control + f for Youtube comments!

[Nitruix]

what's with all of the unfunny onion videos lately?

[VinnyDaQ]

I was going to buy that bridge...DAMN YOU,DANNY DEVITO!!!

[tharjini22]

?????? why arent i laughing

[thenorthside01]

Isn't this clip a month late?

[GertOgren]

how do i follow the mummers on twitter, show me a link please!!

[7th75thCallaghan]

Trolling has really gotten to the point where someone could do an academically respectable paper on it entitled something like - 'Trolling: Expressions of adolescent angst in the electronic age and the psychology of acentric communities.' or something. I'd read it at least.

[Superfresh602]

I'm a fan of TheOnion but this angelique girl is ugly and this viedo isn't funny.

[Superfresh602]

Don't feed the trolls like BowmanMaster

[TheFallenFace]

After seeing that DanForUtah ad, I'm filled with a desire to vote for Dan! wait... I live in Texas... and I'm a liberal... FUCK!!!!

[Snakebite105]

I don't get it.

[KieCuster]

Step 1: View all comments

Step 2: Press Control + F

Step 3: Type in BowMaster

Step 4: ????

Step 5: Profit!!!

[Superfresh602]

@KieCuster fail. try again

[stamp007]

1:13 Ryan Gosling would say that :P

[domh]

St. George was a Turkish knight.

[goetomo123]

sorry to come late but what did bowmaster say????

[GoodByeKyle]

he

[Mokai]

And so the hunt for BowmanMaster's comment begins!

[thekingbeyondthegate]

@Mokai lol

[GoodByeKyle]

he

[TheWiteLite]

@Mokai View all comments, press C+F, then type BowmanMaster.



[paul08the17awesome]

@BowmanMaster An uneducated prick who uses "lol," "rolf," nerdy gamer's vocab like "noobs" and this gayest emoticon on earth "xD" now tries to call someone else a faggot?

You're laughable, man. By the way, hot girls aren't attracted to people like you. But let's grant that scenario, still, saying that you're having a hot chick doesn't increase your self-value or mean an accomplishment. If this is your logic of living life, oh well, have fun flipping burgers.

Cheers.

[cthun934]

it was all good except for the danny devito joke at the end

[butcherboy2008]

The good boys and girls get the Mummers, but all the naughty boys and girls get the Danse Macabre teaching them the inexorable march of time that leads us all to the maw of death.

[Mewkip]

These seems an awful lot like an advertisement for The Mummers! HOW MUCH ARE THEY PAYING YOU, ONION?

[yellowcougar18]

The worst thing about this is that they nail down those glossy, fake celebrity/ fashion presenters a little too well. With all th butt kissing, and faint praise...it's almost too real.

Not that I did not enjoy, I just came away from it like I had watched a real show yet was still chuckling.

The banners were the icing on the cake.

[UpperCrustthe3rd]

host's hair makes me angry.

[WarningSDE]

Brilliant

[barisax25]

This is so unexpectedly brilliant! And who doesn't love lutes?

[bobbobato]

@barisax25 Eh, I prefer shawms.

[Cadmann778]

The Mummer tradition is still alive in Newfoundland, so people actually could have had the Mummers come to their door this Christmas

[sebcde]

haha funny, original

[mpaulino]

Meh. Really weak concept.

[zippomage]

oh gods,the anachronisms abound!

[n1hondude]

"ho ho ho" "ho ho ho to you"

LMAO nice, two hoes talking like friends xD

[Trawlling]

"they may all die of the pox!" - sounds like fun for the whole family !!

[Trawlling]

some parts of the mummers tradition is still kept in eastern europe...

[Jinxxed0]

Gitta pay the troll toll to get to the boys hole

[Gobln15]

i didnt get this one someone explain?

[twillick]

@Gobln15 Check out The Mummers Song by Simani. Mummers still visit homes in places like Ireland, England and Newfoundland, Starting around Christmas the mummers disguise themselves, go door to door and are served food and beverages (mostly alcohol). There is usually dancing and music as well but they don't talk so as to keep their identities a secret. If you guess who the are they have to take their masks off.

Mummers used to freak me out when I was a kid because of the weird costumes.

[LupusCanis]

107 people don't know what a mummer is.

[marlesimms]

A land owner you say?

[TheRealColinChan]

WHO IS THIS BOWMAN MASTER!?! I WANNA KNOW WHAT DMB SHT OF A COMMENT HE WROTE!!

[raikiriu]

@TheRealColinChan Highlight BowmanMaster, ctrl+c to copy, click view all comments, press ctrl+f to open the 'find' box, ctrl+v in the box to paste the name...

Cheers

[h4xx0rfridge]

@TheRealColinChan He was saying that he is the fanbase and that this video sucks, then he said to me, when I said that I liked the video "It's not funny faggot". So I told them that Funny Faggot is a different show.

[SpasmFunnel]

I played Father Christmas in the school production of a medieval mummers play. Thumbs up if you did a mummers play at school! ...................

............no?

[bigplayer2382]

wtf is a mummer

[chessonmyshirt]

I'm too high for this...

[b1bIs1337]

this is terrible

[aaronpolitical]

@b1bIs1337 Agreed, can this segment. More GOOMF!

-A non-sports fan, believe it or not

[b1bIs1337]

@aaronpolitical same. you don't need to be a fan to enjoy parodies and good comedy. It was funny at least.

[WaKeZnDrAnKz]

O gosh those mummers are such shit birds!!

[Naddig74]

I'm now really uncomfortable with the word 'mummers'

[genemercado1017]

LOL Check the bottom words in 1:15 !!

[matenzo]

mummers ain't got nothing on K'ronikka

[DerSchnurrbart]

a jaunty caper

[kunairuto]

she has a really big mouth ._.

[xemplifyy]

always sunny in philadelphia joke at the end?!?!?! :o

[kasuskasus]

That's just brilliant.

[ScientificExploits]

boooooooooooring

[SoccerDudeACW]

ughh this new chick sucks

[alfredbesterp12]

The Onion is totally cool.

[MoreMedication]

God, their uploads just keep getting worse. Who killed The Onion? And why?

[kasuskasus]

@MoreMedication BOOTY WAVE!

[Razlo5000]

mummer fuckers!

[IRepulsiveI]

I love the new black chick on ONN she's gorgeous :)

[Darius135gease]

@BowmanMaster Shut the fuck up, kid. Go outside.

[andrespereyda]

"former child porn star making a splash in adult film world" yeah! and i miss brooke alvarez' giant milf titties

[sheslostcontrol24]

The Newfies are invading.

[julianb36able]

That black chick's hair lol

[mryellow123]

More meaningless fodder from the once great Onion.

[TheDrakenon]

It was ok funny. But then the thing about the bridge was hilarious.

[Drumwannabe17]

I'm confused, but that's okay, The Onion has enough other funny stuff that i think it'll be fine

[roflmfaoball]

meh

[christianjb2002]

How does this only have 302 views when there are 649 likes and 84 dislikes?

[made4life22]

i'm foreign... what's a mummer?

[MrUtopia77]

@made4life22 i'm not foreign and i don't know

[SpasmFunnel]

@made4life22 Someone who does the things described in this video

[bigjknfan]

Haha fuckin hilarious!!!!!

[candygirl0406]

I'm not liking the Star Fix. It's just not funny...

[TaylorTheWall]

Oh my gosh. The host plays her part so well.

[SolidGoldKalashnikov]

fucking mummers, humbug

[pacogoatboy]

So sad that the text at 1:17 appears to be a legitimate theater review repeated several times. Sadder still that I paused the video to check it out. Guess they can't write something funny for every 5 second clip of a full page of text.

[SicSlaver]

So...is this satire of modern entertainment, movies and celebrities?

[mryellow123]

@SicSlaver Who can tell, it's just as meaningless and retarded as any real entertainment show.

[thatstyte]

I was stone faced until the Danny Devito joke... LMAO

[juxagy]

LOL, this reminds me of when I was a kid. They still have mummers in Newfoundland (Canada). Go there during the holiday season and you'll see them going from house to house!

[dillonator42]

This is madness. The top two comments cannot be from the anti-troll reply squad! We must correct this at once lest a dragon attack.

[StalkingRainbow]

@dillonator42 No

[NobodysOffTheHook]

@senssuck24163 Ohhh. Thanks for explaining.

[StopmeatGoveg]

kate hudson gets walk of fame star in exchange for going away

[tomyo669]

for me it pauses at 1:46 won't go past

[aestevalis0]

So... Will I have to pay DeVito a troll-toll if I want a baby boy's hole?

[aestevalis0]

Best. One. Yet.

[DeanGoulding]

Anyone else think that ONN should let the viewers suggest the little captions/stories at the bottom of the screen like 'RYAN GOSLING TELLS PEOPLE MAGAZINE HE HAS A "PRETTY LITTLE PENIS"'?

[burpo]

@DeanGoulding Absolutely not. Art by committee always sucks.

[7th75thCallaghan]

So fucking good...

[monkeylemur]

LOL medieval drawing of a car

[QueenofAntarctica]

"They might all die of the pox"

"Sounds like fun for the whole family"

Did they mean those two lines to follow one another? :(

[LinzyBeckham]

@QueenofAntarctica uh yeah, the pox is great fun!

[3SirCrimson3]

Eh, I usually love every Onion video but this one fell flat for me. I get it, they're walking anachronisms. Not really that funny...

[culwin]

Who will go down to those shady groves

And summon the shadows there

And tie a ribbon on those sheltering arms

In the springtime of the year

[crackmunch]

i got stoned with Danny Devito

[historicalogicalness]

Apparently subtlety isn't a common trait most people understand. Quite frankly, I lol'd

[09angel0909]

lol danny devito's a troll lmfao

[Khyrid]

I don't get it and I don't care either.

[stiffmeisterful1]

whats up shoulders

[MathNerd50]

GOD DAMN IT STEVEN I TOLD YOU TO STOP MESSING WITH THE SPACE TIME CONTINUUM!

[Schmaiden1]

Everytime a banner popped up I tried to click the "x"

[MsVampirelover14]

pretty little penis hahahahahaha