Billy Connolly tells the BEST joke EVER!

[celtgale]

where is the LOVE button?

[shnuzshy]

i hope this was true too!

lmao!

:)

[rgjmce666]

i hope this is true too, if so she is very rude woman and deserves a kicking

[jondees]

i cant believe the amount of negative comments about this video no doubt by the usual fuckin morons who just follow the rest of the dull brigade forming no opinions of their own. because he walked off a stage a few weeks ago he is now the worst comedian about and his jokes are shit. wankers!

[harpersteven]

That was crap

[buhaha92]

the build up was funny, the final joke was terrible.

[gnamp]

I hope it's true too, because it's completely crap otherwise.

[skittlebrain92]

he always wears that t shirt...i love it

[MrYido72]

CRAP.

[gnamp]

@MrYido72 yup. Not funny.

[kanojo1969]

I've been a fan of this man since I heard a recording of his live gig - "Raw Meat for the Balcony" in 1977, the same year it was released - when I was just 8 years old.

I've seen him live twice, and I've seen hundreds of hours of his TV specials, DVDs, documentaries and film appearances.

So,  I know this guy's material. And I can say without a doubt of any kind, that this is *not* his best joke.

I think it may very well be the single *worst* joke he has ever performed.

[headforthetropics]

took for bloody EVER to get to suck a weak punchline - this is as far away from funny as you can get

[Demonicgamer666]

125 people THINK they heard a better joke.

[IndianaDel2011]

@Demonicgamer666 Probably all the dwarfs who watched it!

[jespsoh]

The thing about dwarves is, if you pretend you have a lemon in your pocket they won't bother you. They're afraid of lemons..

[snara98]

THATS WHY I LOVE LOKES, IM SCOTTISH

[shnuzshy]

he's so awesome!

[Explorer360]

Joke starts at 5:46

[Malangsufi]

Joke starts at 3:49

[jesuswashere0000]

@wwwtotalitaerde Was your family tortured because they were dwarfs?

[LilChummmmmm]

sorry ... Ive seen funnier check billy with kenny everett

[jagara1]

Not even funny...

[Hullawthere]

@jagara1 uneven funny then

[jagara1]

@Hullawthere Excellent! Ha ha :)

[jkmcroberts95]

All that, for that ?!?!

[KangaWk]

Worlds strongest vagina in the suggestions? COUNT ME IN!

[vinilla]

meh... not that funny...but hes still a legend

[LackadaisicalE]

Funny..I will be using that line whenever I meet a dwarf and get the chance.

[fragman08]

I smiled but I didn't even laugh. A little bit dissapointed.

[CelticWizard113]

i always wonder why he wears such obscure things...

[Grumftheld]

not even close to being his best joke ever. Fairly terrible all things considered.

[LFC303606]

A professional sweaty, he's always laid it on a bit thick, get's on your nerves.

[rimskykorsakov08]

worth the wait!

[sirtinycreep]

The run up to the joke was funny. But the punchline wasn't funny.

[richiemccarth]

2:00 how is he still standing?

[pinkmusiicluva]

I can't listen to him, he's so boring!!

[jafalad]

Saw BC a couple of years ago. Didn't find him that funny then and now don't find that joke particularly funny.

[smcm12242314jp]

she was Grumpy

[westrjm]

1:54 how is he not falling over?

[tuberlook1]

thanks for the comments, i think i just saved myself 5 mins.

[tuberlook1]

thanks for the comments, i think i just saved myself 5 mins.

[MrMikomi]

I've just wasted 5 minutes 46 seconds of my life because of some fucker called flemmix.

[Tulljfette]

"duont geev me that shaeet"

[teenprenuer]

Wasn't really that funny..

[lingsbord]

You think he looks like John Cleese? What are you smoking? Just because we don't all have the obligatory blow-dried buffant American side parting doesn't mean we all, by default, must look like the only British person you've heard of.

[Smjaek]

Does everyone in Britland look like John Cleese?

[justicepartyuk]

Arshad Khan brought peace to Ulster

[fuelies4ever]

i feel a little bit gayer

[danielsauntiejo]

Saw him in Llandudno last week, funny as hell, no idea why there was all that crap in the paper about him being shite.

[TurnerRandoms]

is he wearing cape 0_o

[brittinimartini]

That's one of the best!

[peteski321]

4:49 LMAO Briliant Billy..

[royseahawks]

I think thats about as funny as he gets!!!

[georgesmoulin]

oh he didn't storm off in a strop then?

[zimonslot]

Comedians shouldnt start laughing at their own shit as if it really is 'too funny' to not be laughing.

[jim6584]

@zimonslot It is a lot better the 2nd time you watch it a day or 2 latter.

[aeronnen]

Who's the dwarf now, Billy? ;)

[Choo69]

it's alright. had to be there i guess.

[Choo69]

it's alright. had to be there i guess.

[Brookesbond]

Absoloutley Brilliant ha ha , this is top of the shop. i laughed and laughed.

[McGarden1904]

Funny that Billy just signed to perform in the "Hobbit" to play Dain Ironfoot... a Dwarf!

[curtarmmar]

Where can I get a coattail t-shirt like that??

[woodal08]

I don't care who you are this is funny shit

[matrixphijr]

Fuck you guys, it's a funny joke.

[magpie2541]

man i hope that story is true

[bluecanary1note]

Groan! What a flop, like its storyteller.

[freebeerfordworkers]

Its a long lead in but its still very good.

[MrCOLTSR2]

garbage!.....all that waffling shit for that!....he's crap now!

[engish12]

111 dwarfs watched this video^^

[CDiffer89]

will never beat his crucifixion joke... 

[anything6able]

The things you'll do for money..So boring!!!

[Unguidedone]

i peed my self

[PunSmoke]

It is sad to see a once mediocre comedian reduced to such a shambling unfunny embarrassment

[PatHendricks]

Brill yant!!

[BNL07604]

Brilliant!

[stentorsoft]

money . . .

hey Jimmah when you coming to Califoriah

[1984LizardKing]

@flemmix you know fine well this isn't even a joke by billy, its just one of his stories. fairplay its a true story and thats the funny thing about it but its not a joke. people are expecting more, when they realise its not a joke they will be disappointed and think this is the funniest thing connolly has when this story doesn't even make the top 15 at least.

you should really change the name to "funniest story" though even at that,connolly has done a lot better. its just a true story he's doin.

[LionLiberty]

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL at the end "when you get home tonight, I hope Snow White kicks your ass (or arse.) what a punchline!

[1984LizardKing]

@LionLiberty its definetley a true story though. its not even a joke, its just one of billy stories that he does all the time. legend.

[LionLiberty]

@1984LizardKing he is a legend. I love his accent and his sense of humour.

[MatteusNova]

@LionLiberty If it aint Scottish, it's CRAAAP!!!. :)

[calin4thewin]

Just look at those awesome fucking pants. Fantastic :)

[dirtydonki]

Up Yer Kilt!

[thebeardedjohn]

"Don't start a story with 'This is SO funny'. Be like saying 'My dick's huge' before you screw. Even if you're right you sound like an asshole."

[KaaSerpent]

Wow. A lot of build-up for...nothing.

[xJhonnySxxx]

@KaaSerpent Because you're a retard and dont understand the joke ever heard of snow white and the seven dwarfs? no? retard.

[KaaSerpent]

@xJhonnySxxx I do quite understand the story of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. I also understand punctuation and spelling. The joke just isn't at all funny.

[kevfulchester]

@KaaSerpent That's your opinion. You can't say, with that degree of certitude "The joke just isn't at all funny" unless you are the sole arbiter of comedy in the universe. Clearly the joke (or story really) is funny as fuck because a massive room full of people laughed.

[KaaSerpent]

@kevfulchester Then kindly append "in my opinion" on the end of what I said.

[xJhonnySxxx]

@KaaSerpent No, the joke is actually fucking hilarious.

[KaaSerpent]

@xJhonnySxxx In. Your. Opinion. In MY opinion--as stated--I found it completely and utterly unfunny. Why does this confound people? I happen to disagree. Mine is a dissenting voice. I am not insulting you, I'm saying "I found the joke unfunny." Which I did.

[theEarlofChip]

@KaaSerpent don't bother, the guy called you a "retard" as an insult, clearly he is an unintelligent and immature individual who will do everything he can to prove to himself he's right. I didn't find the joke that funny either.

[xJhonnySxxx]

@KaaSerpent Actually, you never stated that.

[CanadianWarMachine]

I almost died

[damiankerr]

Brilliant!!

[saint5367]

ooooo shit, looks like ive rubbed ppl the wrong way, ya poor bastards. I still dont understand y ppl feel the need to attack someone over a comment, obviously nothing better to do.

It shouldnt be too far away till the US screws the internet for every one anyway. so all u lovely haters out there give the rest of us shit over anything we comment on.

[Flinklehurst]

With a title like that you raise certain expectations, and as such I figured I would be disappointed, but this was far worse than I could have possibly anticipated. He had to build up the whole "this is inappropriate, but I'm doing it anyway" thing at the beginning not to brace against criticism, but because the sense of being a little bit naughty in making fun of a minority group, that you're expressing your intellectual freedom by laughing, is the only thing that lends any humour to this.

[1984LizardKing]

@Flinklehurst its not a joke, its a story. a lot of his act is storytelling. true stories a lot of the time like the one he told there.

[neilyoungster]

Billy Connolly is excellent. Deal with it. If you can't, I ask you to watch a few Steve Hughes Youtube videos and piss off.

[80BlackRose08]

PLEASE BE TRUE LOL

[phenoify]

Well, it was a joke. I guess.

[OZCatch]

we need more people like billy connolly in the world, everyone's to precious and sensitive about everything. stop taking everything to heart and have some fucking fun!

[ocarina2boy]

ahhahahahahahaha! Now this is comedy at it's fucking best like.

[graycam]

that's some crazy outfit.

[tl52]

this is sooo funny.

[Guardsian]

Please.. Be.. True!

[Mohrkai]

lmfao

[KamekoBruns]

Is it just me or is the lighting in the video....kinda off? His arms look almost one dimensional in some parts.

[cazmaestro]

I didn't laugh. I'm annoyed. I must really have no sense of humour. 

[DjSpeCtr3]

this is FUCKING GREAT!!! That wee dwarf bitch got owned. lol

[DrSpooglemon]

He has told better. This video is mistitled. If such a word exists....

[collinobellino]

What's the point in people being different if it's not to take the piss. Get a life

[Olekander]

I love that everyone is dissing this joke, yet still seem to be pressing the like button.

[ski4life19]

Get to the point...

[jono1956]

shit story, not funny, not offensive, just bad

[BunrakukenIII]

Shit comment. Not profound. Not meaningful. Just bad.

[forwhomthebelltrollz]

@saint5367 you're fucking stupid. you think American comedians are afraid to speak up. The First comedian to ever speak up was an American comedian by the name of Lenny Bruce. Who paved the way for more American comedians. Comedians like George Carlin, who made it their job to question everything and anyone. You're the cancer of the internet, you, ignorant imbecile.

[infraball]

@forwhomthebelltrollz yes, but who do you have now? i don't think they meant past comedians, but present.

[Jye2609]

99 people are dwarfs

[biyer08]

By ending his skit with the "snow white..' quip connolly has let the cat out of the bag,namely he is in fact mocking at the so called " Little people"! This is exactly what the political correctness intends to curb.As a human being and a civilised human being on that we should not be mocking at other fellow human being just because he is or appears to be ,different from us.The little lady who is the subject of the joke has unduly doubted a genuine act of courtesy but it is understandable.

[stu22031972]

@biyer08 If no one mocked anything or anyone different, then there would be no comedy; no jokes; no humour. You, the PC brigade ALWAYS fail to understand one fundamental point; that those being mocked actually enjoy it on the whole. Why? Because THEY have a sense of humour!!! You think ever Dwarf in the land was offended by this joke? Do you think that Dwarfs would all fail to see the funny side of a 6' 7" Man being mocked?

[biyer08]

@stu22031972 Is that so? That is a news to me! I was told that you should laugh with others not at them! if we extend your analogy there is nothing wrong in calling a homosexual "Wooly woofter" ,a person from the sub-continent a "Paki",an Irish a "Paddy" ? Two hundred and fifty years back slavery was okay , now it is not. We are,as human beings, constantly progressing and getting more civilised ,we are sensitive to the feelings of fellow human beings these days! Believe me there is nothing ...

[MrConnellboyle]

@biyer08 well im irish and don;t mind being called a paddy. in fact most 'paddys' i know love irish jokes

[darebinroad]

@MrConnellboyle In Ireland Irish jokes become Kerry Man jokes. I don't know what they become in Kerry. Dingle Peninsula jokes maybe?

[biyer08]

@stu22031972 (CONTD) called sense of humour when we are at the receiving end! By the way did you read today's news Ricky Gervais is in trouble calling Susan Boyle a "mong".

[PilotInCommand100]

not that great

[ScarletteRainStudios]

Please be true ...

[kingponk]

Shit joke by any standard.

[Quado0s]

Cool but i can't understand what he says after 5:28 because of his accent

[biskitboyz]

@Quado0s Why can you not understand this? He speaks perfectly clearly.

[Quado0s]

@biskitboyz He start to laugh , sorry i'm not from English speaking country , You may think it's weird , to me it's difficult

[biskitboyz]

@Quado0s Sorry, didn't see from your comment that English is not your first language. I'll listen to him again and transcribe the punchline.

[cricketbat08]

mediocre joke, by Billy's standards.

[dharmaseed]

'There's a difference between a little person, and a dwarf. One of 'em's a fuckin' DWARF..... and they both know which one it is! LMFAO

[cryptmonkey]

"political correctness" bullshit aside... this is actually a pretty lame story :/ and an even worse 'joke'

[CaptainHowdy187]

@cryptmonkey Please tell me a funnier joke then!

[cryptmonkey]

@CaptainHowdy187 i'm not a comedian. but there are millions out there who are and most of their material is better... most of billy connolly's own stuff is better than this. but i'm not going to justify my opinion by feeding you material you could easily look up yourself.

[russell0769]

Im from Glasgow and get Glasgow buses every day. That is exactly what would happen.

[Cuythulu]

Wait I didn´t quite get the last line because of his accent meaby. Can anyone tell me?

[UnknownUserName4267]

@Cuythulu

"I hope when you go home tonight Snow White kicks your arse"

[TheMarkus1949]

I wonder, if Randy Newman ever saw this.....

[mooshie79]

laaaaame



[JackApron]

Love his pants.

[jinzo64]

i personaly think billy connoly is the greatest comedian ever and this joke is amazing.

but on another note that i will finish in another comment.

Dwarfism (play /ˈdwɔrfɪzəm/) is short stature resulting from a medical condition. It is sometimes defined as an adult height of less than 4 feet 10 inches (147 cm),[2] although this definition is problematic because short stature in itself is not a disorder.

[jinzo64]

@jinzo64

reading on from last comment

if that is a true deffinition dwarfism then ther are a couple bleach characters who are dwarfs

height in feet and inches

rukia 4.9

yachiru 3.7

toshiro 4.4

[grateredshark12345]

what show was this?

[jim6584]

It is much better the 2nd time.

[xJacobReed]

so funny ahah, but i think it took to long to get to the point.

2:05 to hear the start of the joke

[brodude8]

OMG I still love this joke

[itsthepopeful]

I usually find him funny but this joke was underwhelming

[TheAirgead]

To anyone who finds this offensive for whatever reason-Your shortcoming-and being four feet two-and-a half inches tall(please,do not disregard that half-inch,as it is perhaps the equivalent of two to the average person)I have every right to use this phrase-is indeed your own.Never did I laugh more than at this!Brilliant!

[TanoMac73]

Fan... f*ckingtastic!!!!!

[MegaTwanneke]

a wee dwarf???? briljant

[1984LizardKing]

I can see people dont understand that this isnt a joke,and is only a story of a real life situation that happened lol, for fuck sake, put it this way, this story of his here doesnt get in his top 10 by a longshot. No fucking way. Still funny though. The bad thing is people will be expecting the best joke of all time, get a story, and judge Billy on that. But then again, they will be fucking retards anyway expecting a simple one liner or something.

He's always voted the best ever for a reason.

[cfcstevie1888]

if you dont like billy dont watch him,those of you that think he,s not funny or steels jokes from others DONT watch himi personally like him,he,s funny and ive never heard a joke from him that ive heard before

[david2k6murphy]

keep pressing 4 for billy fingering his wife!!!

[MrChilliflakes]

Shiiiiiiiiiiiit !!! why did i click on Conolly's Vid. Now I'm sure 5:46 mins later I'll be one Fuckin happy bloke cussing at everything I see. XD

[saint5367]

The problem with today's world, is that everyone takes offense to anything and then everyone has to apologize for it.

That's bullshit, if you take offense to something then it's your problem and you can find a way to get over it. I think that is why USA comedians are shit, as they are too frightened to say it as they see it, to worried about repercussions.

Billy is a fine actor and a brilliant comedian, if you find what he says offensive, easy, don't watch him ya pillock

[robin9997]

@saint5367 .............couldn't agree with you more!..Totally bang on the money with your comment!

[FoN2FoN]

@saint5367 Being a foreigner in the states it was very difficult for me to adapt thus I find your opinion to be very true. When people cant take a joke and instead of relaxing and laughing they complain and ask for apologies, they offend me! That's why i have stopped giving a fuck about other people and i have found extreme pleasure in comedians like Billy or Frankie Boyle. British Comedy is the best. However, please note comedians like George Carlin who even though he is american he is the shit