JEFF FOXWORTHY COMEDY PT. 3 with BILL ENGVALL

[BekahBoo4321]

12 people need a Heres Your Sign

[AdorkableSnickerz]

From mow on when someone does/says somethin stupid im gunna say "heres your sign"

[scoliosisgirl24]

Ok I know this one is wrong but its funny.

I have scoliosis so I went to the doctor for a check up that we had MADE AN OPIONTMENT FOR and the nurse comes in and says my name and as we r walking down the hall she goes you here for a check up and I said no I'm here to go bowling! And as I said that we walked by a patients room and the little nine year old goes mamma I wanna go bowling too!

[AshleyLM222]

@caseydafireman Americans are known for being smart asses. We are laid back and always having fun and yeah we're hardworking. But you can't let work run your life. *Here's your sign Casey*

[MrVStheWorld]

is there a video for this? ive been looking everywhere

[Kimfox1994]

it happen to my sister onces

we stop at crul jr and my sister gose and say are we going to eat here

and fast as my mom did she say nope we're going to pack the car and walk to the cementary Here your sign. and this happen after our grandpa died .

[Adamgontierfan19]

I had one happen to me yesterday at Kmart: I was buying a router cause our roomate took it with him when he moved I was standing in the electronics department with the router box IN MY HANDS and the woman who came over to ring me up looks right at me and says: "are you buying this?" No ma'am i'm admiring the craftsmanship of the box they put it in

here's your sign lady

[Duddster2008]

A friend of mine was showing me a picture of her from 15 years ago. Shows it to another co-worker and asks " Is that you 15 years ago?"

No, thats what shes going to look like in 15 years from now, she traveled to the future and took a picture of herself, and came back. Heres your sign.

[Dynastar231]

We hit some turbulence ,and the plane bounced a little bit, and he OPENED The Shade, And LOOKED OUT THE WINDOW!! What are you gonna see? You aren't going to hear the phrase, OH MY GOD we JUST HIT A DOG, at 3,700 FT. ANd also.

NO PEACHES, I'm Havin an out of Body Experience... I've gotta get back for the Peanuts.

ROFL!!

[jacceberhelrac]

My sister got pulled over by the highway patrol for a broken tail light. Cop comes up to her and says "Did you know you have tape on your tail light?" She replied "NO did you see someone run up behind the car and put it on?"

Here's your sign

[imthetube44]

@jacceberhelrac Then the officer said " Ma'am, step out of the car."

[tophrocks96]

i wanna see the look now!

[Miralage]

My sister and one of her friends were talking; and she told him that I was 21, and he goes 'wow...Has he always been older than you?'

And she reckoned 'Nope, he just skipped a few years in the middle;

Here's your sign'

[Twrch52]

I was on vacation visiting my uncle in Cali. We were at a golf course with all our golfing gear at the first hole, waiting on the folks in front of us. These two dudes came up behind us waiting to play. One of them said "You guys going golfing?" His buddy said "No dude, they just came here to watch."

Here's your sign.

[Dynastar231]

I can FInally say i HAVE ONE Here's your sign moments!

My friend Cody and I were on the bus, and the bus hit a HUGE Puddle, and the water sprayed all over the bus's windsheild, and Cody goes:

"I think that was water!"

And I reply:

"NOPE, it was Grape Juice! Here's yer sign!"

[TsumeBeta038]

@Dynastar231 yeah same here yesterday me and my dad were going to the shooting and we were putting the guns in the truck and one of our neighbors says you going to the range?

and i'm like nope joining the local militia....here's your sign

[cantoncountryboy911]

@Dynastar231 haha that was good

[sheenafan97]

I couldn't stop laughingXD

[GoddessMoney]

10 people need to have a sense of humor.

[shyguy243]

10 people are already wearing signs

[vine1313]

i work in a nursing home in the kitchen, we need to wear badges so the family members of the residents know who works there. i was walking down the hall pushing a cart of food, and a family member of one of the residents came out of the one room, stopped me looked at my badge and asked if i worked there. i looked at her and said nope, nope, i live here, makes the commute from home a lot quicker. she turned around and walked back in the room.

[NintendoFan802]

I got a Here's Your Sign Joke. A friend of mine came over to my place from church one day, well cause church was cancelled which I already knew that. Anyway, he was over at my house playing basketball. All of a sudden this guy he knew came walking along the side of the road. He looks over and he says "Why back so early, church got cancelled?" And my buddy said "Nope Jesus was out on lunch break." Here's Your Sign

[CaseydaFireman]

You people arent funny. Your just a bunch of smart asses who give us Americans a bad name.

[bigadamc10]

@CaseydaFireman hey no we dont its called sense of humor learn about it

[kerowyn1]

Did ur plain land yet?

No peaches im having an out of body expeince I have to get back for the peanuts

[nugy2005]

did ya get yer truck stuck?

Nope, I was deliverin' this overpass and I ran outta gas!

bahahaha!! Best joke ever!!!!

[kyuubi1212]

@dirtybayjuggalo74 Better go get 8 signs dude, LOL

[dirtybayjuggalo74]

8 people are retarted

[twinvalleyraider]

Dislike bar is the size of Justin Beiber's dick.

[rinnigans6pathss]

@twinvalleyraider IMAO

[Caitlynsmile]

@twinvalleyraiderhaha

[langleyidiot]

wow

[Thor2826]

Yeah but I would like to have a son named Naked...I can see his first day of school his teacher taking roll call. She got to his name looked up at the class and asked..Which one of the students was named Naked? My son will raise his hand and stand up and say,..I m Naked....

His first job the foreman would be looking for him and when he finally found him would ask.... are you Naked? My son would look at him, smile and say .. Yes sir, I am

[finaldude456]

I got one. Me and my mom were taking the bus together and i was listening to my iTouch and the iTouch was in my pocket and my mom look's at me and say's " You listening to music." I said " NO mom i watching a video. Here's your sign" LOL

[ZingZiggyZang]

board HISTARICAL fishen speach - here's your sign!

[TheBaroness65]

I was washin dishes one day and my little brother comes in the kitchen and asks me if I'm washing dishes. I said "no I'm checking for dust bunnies!"

[TheBaroness65]

Hilarious!

[DarkGaleForceWinds]

i had a good one happen to me last year. i was out paintballing with some buddies of mine and i come back covered head to toe in paint splatters. i walked in my door, paintball gun in hand, covered in paint, in a camo suit, and my brother asks "You just come back from paintball?" i looked him dead in the eye and said "Nope, me and my friends just came back from Art Class" Heres your sign lmao

[duelinglectrics]

yall flying a kite ???? nahhhh we are just fishen for birds!!!

[godsword2182]

ok that was funny but im reading the coments and i see the comments ask my daughter wut dose lol meen she is giving a speach about how old i am.(it mad me feel so happy)

[sheabbrown]

I got one, I was standing at the bus stop theother day and this kid comes up to me "Has the bus come yet?"

"No, I'm just standing here becouse I'm board." Heeeere's your sign. XD

[jofan09]

i got one i work at walmart and i love it when people ask me 'do you have a bathroom' i always want to say 'nope but we have a sandbox in lawn and garden' heres your sign

[HostileNegotiator]

You can't fix stupid :)

[TsumeBeta038]

i got one i was working at burgerking and the customer asked...does the combo come with fries and a drink? no the combo comes with weed and speed here's your sign

[ALLthingsTV242]

hes so funny!!! the blue collar comedy is soo... HISTARICAL

[Hurwitz202]

I'll try one of them Bill Engvall Here's your sign deals: So I go into a car dealership and the dealer comes over to me and asks: " Can I help you find something?" And I go, Nope came here just to use the bathroom!, Here's your sign!

[AceripXF]

we hit a bump aT 37,000 FEET & HE OPENS THE SHADE rotflmao!!

[ultraplayer12]

I actually had one happen to me.

I was going to my friend's house and I saw his neighbor was having a yard sale and I was thinking you know cool.

I go down there and I go up to him and say, "Hey, y'all having a yard sale."

And without missing a beat he says, "Nope, we're just sitting out here see if anyone is gonna steal any of this stuff. Here's your sign."

It was hilarious.

[batwog62]

Mate i love this dude, i so agree with him, cheers from DownUnder, must visit the great USA b4 i die.

[angelwings61]

Eeh cheers from smack dab in the middle of the USA. Must visit Australia before I die!

[batwog62]

Rock on down your welcome, ccheeeers. hey pretty bloody cold in them stick of the woods, smack dab in the middle.

[AceripXF]

@angelwings61 Cheers from PENNSYLVANIA

[GamingDrummer89]

I heard Larry the Cable Guy do another version of the story about his grandma. It went kinda like this...

Larry: I recently went down to the hallmark store to get a card for my grandma who died. She was 104 years old.

Jeff: Wait, you bought a card for your dead grandma?

Larry: Yeah.

Jeff: I know I'm gonna regret this...what did the card say?

Larry: (Laughs)...get well soon!

Larry: Anyway, my grandma died and she was 104 years old. I got the card and the fella at the checkout counter...

[GamingDrummer89]

...and he asked what the card was for. I told him it was for my grandma who died at 104 years old. And the guy says "104!? Wow, how'd she die?". How'd she die...she's 104!!! She wrecked her Harley up at Bike Week...heeeeere's your sign.

[CanadianHickChick]

There's another one that I heard from Bill Engvall on TV:

"So I was flying the other day and we were landing. And you'll never believe this.. We hit a deer with the plane. So we got evacuated from the plane and it's just a little thing. There's not even slides. The flight attendants are just saying, 'Get out'. Anyways, we're on this bus heading to the terminal and I called my wife said we hit a deer with the plane. And she said after a long pause, "Oh my god. Were you on the ground?"

[AceripXF]

@CanadianHickChick nOPE SANTA WAS MAKING ONE LAST RUN HERE'S YOUR SIGN

[CanadianHickChick]

Haha! I love it!

[Dynastar231]

@CanadianHickChick I remember that one!

"NOPE, santa was making one last run! Here's yer si--"

"DON'T Even say it...."

[CrazyGirl3264]

mine sucked and i know it did

[satinkid999]

funny

[reebzillaPWNS]

haaaaaapppy birthday jeff foxworthy

[CrazyGirl3264]

im going to try one. on v-day i went to get my bf a card and the sales lady comes up to me and says "you looking for a v-day card?" and i said nope im looking for i walked in here hoping to start a musical -heres your sign-

[lilo346]

wow pretty good

[01mia18]

"You know the look."

Yup, I do.

[TheLizardLover]

These guys are bloody hilarious!

[linkster5564]

"howd he die" " what do ya mean howd she die she crashed er harley jummpin weel chairs"

[lilo346]

you are crazy

[ZchibizroxZ]

When Bill's telling the trucker moment, his laugh when he speaks as the patrolman just MAKES it. ;D

"Didja get yer truck stuck?"

"Nope, I was deliverin' that overpass an' I ran outta gas."

"Didja lock yer keys in you car?"

"Nope, just washed it, gonna hang it up to dry."

HERE'S YOUR SIGN.

[darkraigirl17]

-"will there be anybody to pick him up when he gets off the plane?"

-"no i'm gonna pin a $20 bill on his collar and wish him the best of luck."

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!

[tpapalex]

-"is that your piano over there?"

-"nah, it's our coffee table, it's just got buck teeth"

hahahahaha

[raverbabe2007]

love it im crying with laughter LOL

[Free2bepurp]

that's funny shit right there! lol

[maldread88]

LMFAO 1:26 - 1:40

[PsychoTatu]

Does any know what year did this come out?

[GNRobrats]

2001 if this is the Blue Collar Comedy Tour

[boombambaybay]

ROFL!!!!

[adrianmer666]

the other here's ur sign jokes were recycled, you will hear on the blue collar comedy tour, but still funny

[lissyA123]

I dont know if this is a good one but i told my friend that my uncle was getting a sex change and my friend answers 'what to a women?' and i said nope hes turning dolphin.

[PSORagol]

jeff gets some groceries on the check out line at the store,

lady: are u going to pay for that?

jeff: no i thought i would show it to u b4 i stole it!

heres ur sign.

[mcclia40]

omg, i bought this on itunes and i've been looking for the video on youtube for forever cause i like to see their reactions and i finally find it... there's no video to it!!! lol fml!

[huppypuppy]

Is ya truck stuck??? Nope - I was delivering this overpass and I ran out of gas! Here's your sign!

Classic!

[DLM28659]

oh, yes; the Blue Collar guys rock; thanx!

[MrMatto91]

OH YEAH GIT R DONE

[operaghostandkitty]

I've had a few of these moments myself...one time a bunch of my friends and I were going to this anime convention in our state and we're all dressed up like our favorite characters. This guy saw us walking down the street and said, "You kids going to the convention?" I said "Nope, we're just going to that little coffee shop around the corner." Here's your sign...

[rabbitoh65]

Hahaha this is funny shit, few years ago, the neighbors kid came over and noticed I had a broken headlight on the car and he asked what happened?..I told him I hit two birds travelling out west and he said "what the ones that fly???" I said No no they were walking should have given him a sign, same kid came over again and noticed we had a new shed out the back, he asked who owned it..told him that we borrowed it from the store and taken it back after the party..another sign..

[Adamgontierfan19]

AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA THAT IS BRILLIANT Your comebacks are snappier than mine I went to a Kenny Chesney show once and my brother and I were heading up to the ampitheater and this guy asks us "You goin to the concert" the best comeback I had was "nope I live here" here's your sign

[rodeogal007]

rofl

[mokacoka55]

heres your signs are bill engval not jeff foxworthy

[Hanadi1982]

the movie is very funny

[RenLover101]

"I gotta go back for the peanuts" lol

[20SpiderPig10]

"Has your plane landed yet?"

rofl

[indycoltsrule18]

no that's our coffee table it's just got buck teeth! Here's Your Sign

[2lowhand]

its bill engvall, ron white...and i can recognize the third voice.

[kayud101]

Bill Engall, Jeff Foxworothy, Larry the Cable Guy, and Ron White.

[Tazzie1312]

Dunno if anyone said this, but this is most likely from The Blue Coller Comedy Tour.

[hawkeyeman933]

here's your sign is bill engvall

[bang477]

vary funny ciuld u post a link 2 where u got the mp3 for this or something

[Thecookiebee]

My husband just told me one: He said when he was younger he was visiting his aunt and uncle and they were outside. His aunt was admiring some tree's, and she said, "I just love those tree's, the way they grow from the ground up." My husband said he said, "Yeah, don't you hate those ones that grow from the sky down."

[7YL3Rz]

rofl! :D

[danlover2009]

here's your sign

[xosmsox4]

~GREAT VIDD~ =]

[ilovetogofast88]

Man. you sure meet a lot of these people at college and it's not just the students it's the professors too!

[cobaltchics123]

weres the song gosh!!!

[emerarudochan]

'omg we just hit a dog at 37,000 ft!' XD

[SanchezAfricano]

"You flyin' a kite?" "No, we're just fishin' for birds." LOL!!

[desidhakan]

I like the Here's your sign bits, but in some of them it doesn't make sense.

Like the direct flight to Houston one where the guys asks "You going to Houston". Well, the final destination could be different with Houston as stop over. To Bill - Here's your sign....

[iluvroyals2much]

Hello...DIRECT FLIGHT!!!!

[videojunkie64]

And there's your sign.

[Orchidess]

Either way, you go to Houston, wether you stay or not

[SilverDollarCityGirl]

omgis movie!

[spaderfjorton]

i seriously think this stupid-sign thing should be put in effect for real, that way you wouldnt rely on them.

[TrainDr101]

"He can't say it....... but he's got that look."

[thesims66]

who cares at least jeff is in it!

[Katielovesmagic101]

ROFLMFAO!

[PrOuD2BeBrUnEtTe703]

Jeff doesnt do "heres your sign"..its Bill Engvall

[wubadee]

Was Jeff with Larry?

[TrainDr101]

It was on their "blue collar comedy tour". Larry, Bill, Jeff, & Ron were there. They do their own separate skits, & then do a group thing at the end.

[broman444]

its bill engvall who does that

[DesertHamster]

she crashed her harley jumping wheel chairs. brilliant!

[masterbelg]

no were fishing for birds XD damn thats funny

[angelcake4]

I love anything that has to do with Jeff Foxworthy, he is so funny

[NoLifeKid0500]

lol

[BCviolin8290]

Here's your sign!

lol