2, The Ranting Gryphon - Do Your Job!

[DrakojanOne]

I nominate 2 for president

[ThorOdinson14]

2 in 2012 If the founder of the FBI can cross dress, our next President can be a Furry. 2 in 2012

[johnyguitar01]

This is funny but she probably just wanted 2 cents so she could give you a dollar and that would make life easier for both of you, so this whole argument is essentially based on a misconception.

Still, 2 The Ranting Gryphon is win.

[YourAverageGamer1997]

I listen to this guy all the time. Even at school.

[JTROYER100]

I had to switch to porn once my brother walked in. It was easier to explain.

[Redmoonblade]

"Dick of 1000 lincolns. " Priceless.

[autonomousanomaly]

This is the most fun I've had listening to someone rant. :D

[rejectdude]

You're gonna eat your next meal through your eyesocket and it's gonna be my dick!

ROFL1

[OneDollarMercenary]

glad we removed 1 and 2 cents in our country <3

[cultmiester]

meh, you're not that funny

[AjaxtheWerewolf]

After being sober for a while, I finally realize this guy isn't that funny.

[Darkmage1293]

I have no idea what the fuck is going on.

But its probably because its hilarious, and I'm laughing so hard I can't pay attention.

[TheAngryOtaku]

The dick of a thousand lickins! :D



[Pratttan2]

@TheAngryOtaku Lincolns :3 The penny has the face of Abraham Lincoln on it.

[TheAngryOtaku]

@Pratttan2 Oh, haha My bad. :3

[Pratttan2]

@TheAngryOtaku Perfectly fine! ( By the way, I accidently pressed thumbs down on your response, I meant to press reply D: )

[TinkerBebe]

That's funny, but when I was a cashier customers would get angry at me whenever I tried to hand them back change and not bills. Some of them would take the coins and throw them on the floor or back at me. I don't understand Americans hate for coins. If you never want to see a penny again move to Iraq.

[lordneo256]

@TinkerBebe Well in Germany I got the same problem (In Netherlands the lowest coin you get is 5 cents in Germany you get the 1 and 2 cents) but I either refuse them or drop them off the nearest charity collecting box (along with maybe a bit more along 30 cents)

[angrydead]

The irony that her pay check is taxed for his food stamps is most likely lost on him.

[Virgo84chick]

I love this rant & fully understand his frustration. Usually I don't mind giving the cashier pennies so I get a paper bill back; however it depends if I want the dollar, NOT to make their day easier.

Or hey, maybe said person just finished inventory & had to calculate numbers ALL DAY & would rather be home watching Netflix. We're all entitled to THOSE days; however it's NOT! the customer's fault. Punch the numbers, count the coins, grin & say "have a nice day", then curse us AFTER we leave.

[Stupideyez100]

Most underrated, EVER 

[metazoxan2]

Dropping pennies off the empire state building can't kill anyone. The terminal velocity of pennies isn't fast enough although it would hurt a lot.

[lordneo256]

@metazoxan2 I would do it just for the off chance it kills someone with a weak skull. Or something else. Getting driven over after being distracted for instance :-3

[KodachiTheRaverBunny]

this both terrified and enthralled me.

[PrinceDrazarian]

Lmao it's funny because it's true!!!

[CronaxIsabel]

@supahfly55

Shut the fuck up and go fuck your mom or something fag!

[lordneo256]

@CronaxIsabel Fag and fuck mom? Get your act straight, atleast insult someone properly :-p

[TheShubLub]

I have a feeling that if you didn't rant you would be murdering people....

[supahfly55]

@LadyRuin2012

Bitch I aint trollin Im speaking the truth!!!

[ThemTwoOtaku]

Dude at the end you should have said "and that's my two cents on that"

[koobz5000]

coulda sworn he said "Ligands" but ok

[Zye1984]

aah. i ask if the customer has any change so they won't have to get any back other than bills. I usually use pennies people don't want if they don't, even though my employer says "we're not supposed to do that, it 'creates another till' to keep up with." ...yeah. >_>

[Necrosis527]

I love transcribe audio

[Hezett314]

EVERYONE in Quebec does this! It's SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ANNOYING!

Thank you, 2!!!!!!!

[LadyRuin2012]

The Dick of a Thousand Lincolns. Awesome.

[HalfwaytoHazardv2]

This guy has anger problems... And I like it. :D

[XxXthisguy]

IM OUT OF TOFU!!!!!

[TheVeR01]

I'm the same way, but no one's ever asked for my coins. I try not to spend them so I can save up a literal ton and coin star them later, and wind up with money I didn't know I had. I call it...'secret munny' Shhh....

Dude. Ur friggin scary. But I think I man luv you <3

[blickluke]

I love how ur voice sounds at 2:09 xD

the way it sorta shakes and sounds wimpy but bad ass :D

[Mackenzieofcourse]

I'M GOING TO BEAT THEM UNTIL THEY MAKE AN ABORTION LOOK SEXY.

God, that was awesome.

[ShadowXII]

Dick of a Thousand Lincolns... good cpt christ I can hardly see through the tears I'm laughing right now.

[Pr0v0ked]

This guy is epic.

[Cadavaris]

you're probably the most energetic I've ever seen you in this one

[Pellicius]

Oh shit!  I'm out of tofu!

[chibiheartluster]

lol, "a strobe light and an epileptic till he flails me to death!" XD

[naruto21219]

LOL "Say hello to the dick of a thousand lincon's.

[hellfang1717]

I actually had this happen to me...fucking peopel suck

[TheRealMisterDerp]

I guess you could say those are your "Two cents" on that person?

[Bankotsuswife]

Those people who go "it'd make my job easier" should be fucking happy to even HAVE JOBS. There are people out there who struggle to even get a minimum wage job to contribute to the economy.

[ih4ck702]

88 people don't like counting change

[ste887]

anyone know the name of the backing track?

thanks

[TheParrett130]

thumbs up ha

[hellafdvids]

Hey dude, love your style. You look like Hunter Thompson and the dude from Static X wrapped up in one cheap suit.

[tsukiko5678]

I work at a Walgreens, and if that happened, Usually, people don't like to have a bunch of change because I know I really don't like carrying around a lot of change when I could just have a dollar bill. But if you wanted the change, it doesn't bother me.

[OmegaWolfVideos]

LOL

[Aetharus]

Because he's someone who has never actually worked a day in his life. He's a Hipster.

[jamesthecat64]

I am in awe.

[kalawaki]

The customer is always right. I'm a cashier at walmart and even i know this is some bullshit. Your job is to make their life easier, not the other way around. You're being paid to do it. Quit bitching.

[Jerichox22]

Boondock Saints reference? :D

[fruitegable]

"THE DICK OF A THOUSAND LINCOLNS"

wut

[Sanngot]

Haha, he sure gave his 2 cents.

Yeah I know, lame joke is lame... ._.

[madshot101]

THE DICK OF A THOUSAND LINCONS STRIKES AGAIN

ROFLMAO

(roll on floor laoughing my ass off)

[XxluvsxvampsxX]

@madshot101 umm actually its the dick of a thoussand lickin's

[madshot101]

@XxluvsxvampsxX

nah, its full of pennys

[XxluvsxvampsxX]

@madshot101 lulz yup

[FarmerDoom]

This is so unfunny it caused me physical pain. Also, that goatee causes me psychological pain.

[hurleygirl27]

@FarmerDoom Lol Troooolooololo

[CastleCarthTV1]

@FarmerDoom Go see a doctor, you may need to get treated..for FAIL O: <3 u

[FarmerDoom]

@CastleCarthTV1 I don't know man, it seems to me you have a really terrible sense of humor...

[CastleCarthTV1]

@FarmerDoom Maybe, maybe i do, but you have a terrible sense of awsome

[mulebabies]

Dude. I love you. :D

[ConsiderableGravity]

2 is the shit. i laughed so hard the first time i heard his rants

[snateraar]

0:32 Dr. Steel, anyone?

[NoahLDiamond]

Proof that hard work DOES pay off.

[MaxXimumPain]

he is the MASTER of fake voices

[Jhazmon]

As someone who has worked in a grocery store for two years (more this summer/winter when I leave school) this is all very truthful. This isn't just grocery stores filled with High Schoolers that needed a part time job this is the whole business cycle of the world, USA in particular. We try to get the most money out of something with the least amount of work. What does that do? Sends everything into an endless slide of decay in our quality of life. People should sacrifice a little but don't.

[Renorei]

I liked your other videos but this one is just dumb. Do you really want to have someone hand you 98 cents instead of a nice convenient dollar? When I'm in situations like this and I have spare change, I ALWAYS give it to the cashier...not for THEIR sake, but for MINE, because I'd rather just get dollars back than a bunch of change.

[Jhazmon]

@Renorei It's the point of having a job, you do what you have to do (unless it violates labor laws). The roll of a cashier is simple: register the sales of an item, take their form of payment, then hand back any change is needed. If the customer wants it in the form of a dollar then they should have those two cents and say so. If not hand back their 98c and say "Have a Nice day" like all good cashiers should.

There isn't a single job that is a "Get out of work free", you take your job and do it.

[atherrien95]

@Renorei Maybe some people just like carrying around change more...the point is, it should be his decision whether to get change or a dollar bill back, and he wanted the change.

[Renorei]

@atherrien95 If he wants the change, well that's his choice, but most people don't fail to give the cashier 2 cents because they want change, but rather they forget about the 98 cents they will have to deal with. It's actually considerate of cashiers to remind people of the fact that they can pay 2 more cents and get a convenient dollar rather than change. I don't think there's anything wrong with the cashier for bringing this to his attention--I would want someone to remind me if I forgot.

[XxluvsxvampsxX]

@onigamegeek i believe its dick of a 1000 lickin's

[Soccercick010]

Fuck stick :3

[mjhansford]

I work in a supermarket in the UK. From time to time I get someone who will buy a 79p bottle of drink and pay with a 20 pound note. That annoys me. But I've learned to take it with good grace because that's what I'm paid to do. On the other hand, I get customers that will offer me that 2p to make my job easier. But at least I don't have to ask. It's up to the customer.

[Fyouseek91]

random fact you can't kill someone by dropping a penny of the empire state building mythbusters tested it. but yeah I hate when people don't do their job without complaining you shouldn't get a job you hate unless you absolutely need it. You should try and strive towards a job you love doing like I'm sure that 2 loves what he does.

[pratttan]

You on F4L?

[craigalot]

i was commenting on that person in the convenience store and people like them who are working doing their best. I guess i don't have allot of tolerance when people put down people doing shitty jobs. I personally like to rant about the 5% that own 95% of the wealth by exploiting others. hope you understand my perspective

[craigalot]

I liked the rant on American but he lost me with this video. I guess what he is saying is that people who have to make a living at convenience stores for minimum wage would be better off dead or collecting welfare. Nice empathy perhaps if he worked at a convenience store he might lean some if he is capable of it. In addition have you considered that possibility she may have a mental disability. However i find many people put down others so that they can feel superior about themselves.

[Eagle0600]

There are two sides to this:

1. She shouldn't have waited.

2. It never hurts to be helpful now and then, especially when it would speed things up for both of you.

[Shadowdyce11]

@onigamegeek A bald, gay, furry as president? I'd sooner be Candain...

[TeratusVantian]

2 FOR PRESIDENT!!!!

[cupidsplayland]

This is hilarious. See Gryphon in Hollywood at the World Famous Comedy Store September 16, 2010 at 8 pm.

[Crewwstube]

If we get rid of Kage and this guy... then we win the furry war.

[Zurithehuskey]

@Crewwstube

good luck with that ^^

[the21andonly]

@Crewwstube good luck with that.

[396M]

However, it is ironic that YOU didn't have two cents....i'm jus sayin'

[hernandeztim]

As irony and the sadistic pychopath nature would have it, this happened to me at a McDonald's a while back. I just have to thank you for giving me the words to put this thoughtless sack of meat into a pychological blender set on puree. Just friendly words from an avid fan.

[thatblargguy]

@shadowdyce11 I'm glad you've seen the light (sort of)

[ZeeM]

Hope it is just a joke, 'cause danm, thats one asshole rant.

[Megaloneous15505]

anyone else make the 2 sense/2 cents connection?

[thatblargguy]

@shadowdice11 oh and...furfag...say hello to the dick of a thousand grenades you dead little troll!!

[Shadowdyce11]

@thatblargguy LOL how does being a troll make my point any less valid?

[thatblargguy]

@shadowdice11 dude he's a rant commedian he's SUPPOSED to complain nonstop about nonsense like that because it's funny...or did you serriously not catch that

[Shadowdyce11]

@thatblargguy Based on the other rants that generally have a serious overtone, I'd say this isn't an act. I'll admit. 4 times out of ten I agree with him completely. 5/10 There's a genuine problem with his logic or delivery, and 1/10 I want to beat him to death with a cereal spoon.

[Shadowdyce11]

Lol this guy is faggot and a pussy, it's 2, fucking, cents, you stupid, bitch, furfag. I could probably make this guy squirm by mixing his chocolate milk the wrong way.

[ThatKoolKidOverThere]

@Shadowdyce11 Look at it the other way. 5$ - 4.02$ is nothing. It's fucking stupid. He's right. Do your fucking job or stop complaining. If you get this job, why complain? Just quit if you don't like it!

[Shadowdyce11]

@ThatKoolKidOverThere She didn't complain though. She just asked for 2 cents to make the exchange go faster, it would have been mutually beneficial to just give her 2 cents.

[ThatKoolKidOverThere]

@Shadowdyce11 On the other hand, not many people carry around change when running a quick errand.

[Shadowdyce11]

@ThatKoolKidOverThere Then a simple "I don't have 2 cents" would suffice.

[ThatKoolKidOverThere]

@Shadowdyce11 Definitely, but this guy doesn't make a living off of being a nice guy. He's a comedian, you take it too literally. He's just making a stupid situation where you would normally say "I don't have 2 cents," funny.

[Shadowdyce11]

@ThatKoolKidOverThere If you say so. I always saw 2 as a giant pussy that doesn't do shit and then PMS'es all over the internet about shit he he's too lazy to do anything about, perhaps I was wrong/

[ThatKoolKidOverThere]

@Shadowdyce11 Well, sort of I guess but he's a comedian so you can expect stupid shit like this.

[Lateralusmaster]

Currently with what's happening to Mel Gibson, It makes it even more funny that 2 said he could buy his dignity with 2 cents XD

[rgbygc]

lmfao!!!! XD loolz!

[shatteredwolves]

I love you 2, you make a shit hole day so much better and give me the better mood to yell at the piss monkey idiots that are the people of our so called brothers.if i have to hear one more sorry fucker ask if we sell records in a RECORD STORE AND THE FUCKING THINGS ARE UNDER HIS NOSE I WILL BEAT HIM WITH THEM. than turn his skull into a record. If you want a copy let me know.

[Sneezedoodle]

It's, "Dick of a Thousand Lincolns". You know... a thousand pennies... Lincoln is on the penny...

[TEEJAY9920]

2 always reminded me of Dr. Bombay.

[birdbacon117]

DICK OF A THOUSAND DIGGANS (i think diggans)

[ScheduledChaos]

@birdbacon117 I'm pretty sure it's "lickings"?

[EvilTube2007]

@ScheduledChaos Dick of a thousand Lincolns. It is a thousand pennies, after all.

[birdbacon117]

@ScheduledChaos It could even be "dickings"

normally i dont understand rants sometimes. but lets just use our imagination on what we THINK he said?

[doomsdarkest]

BITCH WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!

[cursedkuubi]

Funny thing is that a lot of these idiots these days probably don't know what an abbucus is.

[birdbacon117]

@cursedkuubi I know what an abbucus is... i just cant use it o3o

my bro cant, and hes almost in his damn 30s

[Majinonifox1]

I swear, this is so true! Love your work, 2! Keep it up!

[SneakyFurry]

i love you :D (no homo) you are the funniest fucking furry I have ever heard in my life

[impmon12345]

lol I bow before a FAR greater ranter than I

[xEmilyCyhogx]

If that was a guy, you could've done this, 2:

DICK SNATCH!!! *rips off guy's dick* >:D

[predatorguy07]

2gryphon is the best ranter...ever.... period! XD

[Shastania]

"Dick of a 1000 Lincolns."

Fuck, I need a new pair of shorts because I just pissed myself laughing.

[ArcLightShock37]

oh wow O.O holy crap that was one of the funniest I've ever seen you do XD well done ^^

[CraniumOnEmpty]

oh, no,... I'm going to kill myself purely by laughing at this

[Bakudai]

I also hate when someone asks if I have two cents so they can give me back a whole dollar instead of a shit load of coins.

[karatepirus]

Strobe light with an epileptic, haha! A unqiue ranting style definitely

[bundyman101]

ok, i really really hope you never ever say shit like that in public to be an ass, because if i was on the receiving end on that i would of broke down completely, but yes shit like that (the chick waiting for 2 cents or pennies) is a load of bull crap but still it was funny just i don't wanna see someone go on like that in real life to another person over this.

[furrydude100]

didk of a thousand lincons !!!! XD

[ROFLgasmSpasm]

...wait, didn't he say "dick of a thousand lincolns"? instead of lickings?

[ChristianWolf13]

@2gryphon how did you become a comedian? Where did it all start for you in the fandom?

[SotaSamakari]

No offense, but that's two of the comments that have misspelled Lincoln. He says Lincolns not Lickings, Lickens, or any of the like.

[dovid916]

This is good stress relief, you should try it some day =D

[AnubusStar]

A retard getting a blowjob by Michael J Fox... XD

[solarflare2007]

she bitches.. yet I had 9 dollars in quarters.. had to get a manager to help me count

[lostcauseify]

THE DICK OF A THOUSAND LICKENS

[Naginaoeofschwarz]

Wow....wow.....lol.....rant and rant.....lol....

[BasherCoon]

Lol, 'beat them til they make an abortion look sexy'... Nice one, 2.

[nzone4]

THIS GUY IS TOO JOKES

[Zamiel39]

this is good

[kite792]

Wow... this guy needs to lighten up. If he ave her 2 cents she could give him a bill and save some time. I came here because I heard this comedian had something to do with furries and that he might be funny but all I found was a jerk.

[StarWoodFilms35]

You do understand hes not beinging serious... well he is but the high temper and major cruses is all part of the act. so hes not beinging serious its all a joke.

[SoraJustSora]

I think you need to re-word that. It IS a joke, but at the same time he's right by saying people need to do their job. He's just doing what people call elaborate on his topic with funny nonsence, which is why I <3 this guy. He tells the truth then says some stupid shit that makes me laugh my ass off.

[xKevinKunx]

@StarWoodFilms35  wow, really!!? :P

[BasherCoon]

@kite792 You don't get it...and you never will.

[alicecoopercss]

"You're gonna eat your next meal through your eye socket AND IT'S GONNA BE MY DICK!"

Lmfao

[FoxtreeFootpad]

furry pride!!!!!!!!!! ^^ and this fucking video rock ahahhahahhhah!!!!!!!!!!!! the penis pillow case lol

[mavis130]

This is an amazingly funny video!

[kriskho650]

"hey, you stick this rubber dick up your ass, it makes my job easier..."

HUGE PWN back!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[rcflight13]

48 hours and counting so I'm lying here like "wow was the ceiling always so flat" and yet I can still spell and formulate a sentence.

[0toHero]

Suddenly my job doesn't seem so bad anymore...LOL

[RatchetsFlamingTail]

FUCKSTICK

Wow...... I'm using that XD

[JESSEBUBBU]

furries are awesome,proud to be one....

[Triumphinglory]

"Say Hello to the dick of a thousand Lincolns, you filthy bitch!!"

BEST FUCKING LINE EVER!!

THIS GUY is the shit, man!

[GreenKight12]

This guy is a very good comedian. Very well done.

[Kevstar19]

Sad face :( Don't be hatin

[OakViewFilms]

Im not a furry( i dont see anything wrong with the furry community, im just not into it) , but i absolutely love this dude.

[9223Titan]

... I'm confused since I've been up 25 hours straight.... Why would she need 2 cents if he owed her 98 cents?

[Chrinik]

so she can give him a whole dollar instead of alot of pocket change...

[Lazerzp3wp3w]

You just failed at basic addition and subtraction.

[Azmas875]

i have to agree though with everyone else. it really doesn't matter. and shouldn't. comedy is comedy. furry, gay, black or white if you are funny you are fuckin' funny. and awesome

[StaarScream]

@Azmas875 you forgot furry and gay are the same thing TROLL TROLL TROLL

[vgmaster831]

What is the reasoning behind that statement?

[13GrimAlch13]

I had meant to reply to TheeObsidianReaper

[Azmas875]

that it shouldn't be your job to make their job better or easier

[vgmaster831]

Actually, that was a response to someone's comment on how 2 would be cool if he weren't a furry.

[13GrimAlch13]

what does it matter? It's good comedy

[Lynnc83]

awesome  video