Louis C.K. - on Human Evolution and Lions (rus sub)

[Nailsinmytummy]

Does he tell this joke in any of his Dvds? Which one? I don't remember it.

[Jeffmeister21]

this guy is soo damn creative. does he write his skits by himself?

[Nailsinmytummy]

@Jeffmeister21 I don't know, but he's been writing jokes for Tv for years.

[serpentisma]

@Jeffmeister21 i don't knowthat he ever has any help writing his own material. there is another video somewhere here on youtube where he tells a story about how he idolized george carlin, and wondered how he always had new material every year for a new standup special. it turns out george would do the material he had lined up, then threw the material out, so he would have to start fresh all over again. louis said he modeled his standup after that practice, to ensure he was always writing.

[jaysoeun]

I agree! We should have lions in the mall

So it can eat your stupid kids cause your Joke SUCK!

[ferise1]

@jaysoeun You're obviously one of the idiots he was talking about :))))

[ManOnEarth17]

WHY THE FUCK CANT I VOTE UP ON COMMENTS ??? sorry for the caps

[SuperToother]

@ManOnEarth17 I tried voting that up and then I couldn't >>>>:o

[Nhoward2807]

6 people should be eaten by lions.

[IPZEEN]

Huh... so Russians have a sense of humor?

[instereovideos]

I love how he said casually that we should "reintroduce" lions into human society. As if lions were once an integral part of human society, but we just drifted apart at some point.

[ender003]

@instereovideos Well, they probably were since humans started out in Africa.

[instereovideos]

@ender003 ehhhh.... right, and we spent our entire lives trying to avoid them. Maybe you imagine humans and lions having tea together on the Savannah or something... Call me crazy, but I think there are books out there that might help you understand why humans never tried to integrate lions into their societies ; ) I know a three year old who has a book all about different animals and which ones are safe, maybe I could convince him to loan it out if you're interested.

[ender003]

@instereovideos Mmm, unnecessary condescension. Being a factor in human life can mean a lot of things. I don't know why you're acting like I said we tried to play patty cake with them. Anyway, some cultures considered (and still do) it a rite of passage to kill a lion. Sounds pretty integral to me.

[instereovideos]

@ender003 "unnecessary condescension"

No, I think condescension is the only appropriate response when someone goes out of their way to show you that they didn't understand your comment, but they think they should weigh in on it anyway.

[ender003]

@instereovideos lol, you are so full of yourself. First you make up things I never said, then you try to act like I didn't understand your stupid joke.

[instereovideos]

@ender003 you're the one who acted like you didn't understand the joke, not me. Just callin' it what it is.

[ender003]

@instereovideos I understood it; I just disagreed with the premise.

[Kneleist]

Why do you have to discuss about god. Isn't that boring. Why don't you argue about the fact that heisenbergs uncertainty principle is a knockdown argument agains the deterministic point of view. Or how cogito ergo sum might be endangerd by the new studies in the field of neurology.

[deepoceanfan]

@Kneleist Lol I don't know what your talking about but I agree.

[DrMeh3]

[Insert comment insulting religion here]

[CaptainDishman]

lions... I'm for it!

[deeroks1]

best comedian.

[TheTopStriker]

Or introduce spoiled white people to savanna during dry season...

[Charsept]

@TheTopStriker what about the spoiled non-white people?

[TheTopStriker]

@Charsept Everyone's spoiled these days but anyways the lion solution sounds pretty smart idea to me. :)

[Charsept]

@TheTopStriker agreed

[A55TRICKY]

I am viewer 77,777.  I know this isn’t an interesting comment but I needed to say something…for me…and my ego… and I’m drunk.

[GhostyFilms]

I've been saying this lion business for years...

[Gameguy602]

Light a man a fire, and you'll keep him warm for a night. Light a man on fire, and you'll keep him warm for the rest of his life.

[P00nTeAr]

@Gameguy602 - Terry Pratchet

[aj329vchsvcgcvmsmcvk]

that was really good lol leave that bitch alone and she will figure out the whole bag situation

[swoldu01]

Sometimes I wish that zombies really did take over the world because I know I would do a lot better than I'm doing now. I would finally feel useful.....

[Eyedunno]

Normally not a fan of this kind of comment, but it's too easy here, so please forgive me:

4 people were attacked by lions.

[willyicious]

there is too much win in this clip.

[karajazemeyeh]

lion in the street hahahhhahahhahahah i love it

[wanksta31096]

@UffUffsen You don't speak sarcasm evidently, do you?

[BubbleBee1771]

I was a little kid when I saw Jumanji, since then, I have always wanted to see lions and rhinos roaming the streets, I thought it would make life more exciting.

[wanksta31096]

His logic if flawed. If everyone had a cool story about someone getting eaten by a lion, its not cool anymore. Its cool now because it's not as common. That would be like me saying, "I have a really awesome story about the time me and Jeffery Dahmer played Truth or Dare" because everyone has a story like that, right?

[jacktheripperrules]

@wanksta31096 YOU PLAYED WITH JEFFREY DAHMER?? shit my life fuckin sucks, i only got to play with charles manson

[UffUffsen]

@wanksta31096

oh boy. stupid people be stupid.

[6u6u7o]

-.- Why are the subtitles upside down?

[jacktheripperrules]

@6u6u7o its in RUSSIAN YOU DUMBFUCK

[6u6u7o]

@jacktheripperrules haters gonna hate

[rmdomeni]

Macroevolution and creationism are both hypothesis'. Also you can see creation as a valid option without thinking it happened 6000 years ago. 50% of Americans are not just stupid and not as enlightened. They may have done their research. Now can we go back to just talking about how awesome Louis CK is?

[richig761]

@rmdomeni No, they're absolute morons. Anyone who has actually researched evolution, that is honest with themselves... would have a terribly tough time denying it. Which is why 99.997 percent of biologists do believe evolution to be a "done deal". Creation may be a valid option, but that would depend on what theory of creation you're referring to. It definitely could not be The Bible's version of creation, or any mainstream religion. That's for sure.

[Tysoncampbell69]

Religion is War. Any god that people worship would not want people to kill eachother because their beliefs are different.

[skullybushing]

wait you guys are being very stereotypical about religious people... you sound like an idiot 

[coldsake07]

im happy our russians freinds love louis too

[MrTerrifyer]

shut the fuck up you religious fucks, keep your bullshit delusional comments on jesus videos. thanks! Louis C.K is the shit!!!!

[Casarzino]

uhm how the hell did you people get to the topic of religion from this video??

[magician168]

@Casarzino might be the fish joke at the end? religious ppl are very very sensitive

[andrewm153351]

wow i thought i had seen all of his stand up. This was like finding a little pocket of gold.

[cryjesuscry]

@andrewm153351 he specifically changes his act every year and does his best not to repeat material over that span, you will find a ton of standup you've never seen before forever

[JAYREXY]

@andrewm153351 lmao so true

[Devilstease]

There's a lot lot of dumb fat American's. but there's a lot of slim fat black Hispanic etc, smart, secular, left wing American's.

[serazac25]

Carl's Jr. :)



[mfors704]

It is mainly to do with the south where I am from. I live out in the country and its probably 95% creationist around here. If it was not for the internet I would still be one also. When you are raised a certain way and have your eyes closed off from the world people can believe anything. Thankfully though alot of my generation around here is starting to break that mold. I just do not think they are as vocal as I am. Ans yes it has everything to do with religion from my own personal experience.

[19splat91]

The Royals mascot is a lion haha

[Kropotov]

Its just not as Funny in Russian :/

[allpeeps4me]

@Kropotov ... Comedy rarely translates.. Diction and timing is very important 

[DaRealFiberOptix]

amazing lion bit ROFL

[poonmunch69]

dumb fucking soviets; what do you say america want to repeat Chernobyel :P

[sofuckinghard]

@poonmunch69 no, hiroshima was more than enough, but wait... nagasaki! ohshit...

[Koshak87]

Спасибо за ролик. Вот ещё бы субтитры можно было отключать)

[LuvLesha]

I'd replace lions with zombies, give us at least a chance!

[Rolin900]

@LuvLesha no thats not the point, the stupid people should die he's saying...i guess we found one more.

[albokid52]

2 people got mauled by lions later on that day.

[Tuuliska]

Also, you'd always have an easy excuse for being late for anything. Just say "lions" and everybody would be like "okay".

[MrSebyfoomanchoo]

bla bla bla bla bla Victorias Secret bla bla bla bla bla bla Cold Stone Creamery's bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla Carls Jr.

[94Cioppa]

nigger 

[spxeli]

@94Cioppa cunt

[94Cioppa]

@spxeli kike

[spxeli]

@94Cioppa woah wtf? That's my bad. I didn't know you were being racist. I thought you were referring to a C.K. bit.

[94Cioppa]

@spxeli wetback

[spxeli]

@94Cioppa i need your cock in my mouth.

[94Cioppa]

@spxeli spic

[spxeli]

@94Cioppa fuck me in the ear?

[94Cioppa]

@spxeli you a boy or girl? 

[spxeli]

@94Cioppa I'm all man, babe.

[94Cioppa]

@spxeli well I'm a guy too, you ginney. Damn i'm runnin out of racial terms

[Stalky24]

Man, that is briliant concept for a novel :D

[pillarsofserpents]

p.s. 2 people had family members eaten by Lions at a mall.

[pillarsofserpents]

can't believe i haven't heard this material. huge Louis fan. guess I'm slacking.

[SRStrollisSRS]

you know you are a good comedian when you say you should set lions free in society...and convinces me its a good idea

[JustARandomGuy95]

@SRStrollisSRS I read your comment whilst the video was loading and I thought "He is funny, this is going to be interesting"

After watching the video I really fucking think lions would be a good idea...

[BigRuudy]

Wish I could read Russian

[ProducShuns]

this idea of lions in malls. that could possibly make a great story... like dawn of the dead, but with lions. 4 survivors trapped in a mall for a week with lions. i'd read that.

[olive15]

the tigers would get jealous =[

[royals1985brett]

oh come on louis, i love you, but leave the royals alone

[timetobreakup1]

this is like karl pilkington's dinosaur theory

[theclarkhome]

In Soviet Russia, Louis CK laughs at you.

[123bathinapes]

@theclarkhome Well done on the only Soviet Russia joke that I actually thought was funny.

[bigfatcarp93]

This is an excellent idea... TO THE ZOO!

[flyersphan111]

If there were lions in the mall, no one would go to the mall... lol

[TheBelgianMethodd]

i just love how its always so funny but so fucking true ahah

[lighhtningking]

He is A real life BRIAN GRIFFIN LOL!!!

[deancoxxx]

What show was this on?

[sheleg3s3]

why is it translated to russian?, tbh annoys me cause i can both read and listen but both are different XD

[skormz10]

Has anyone wondered how he thought of lions as a consequence

[11nahyt]

"well draw a picture of me telling you" lmao i loveee this man

[SouthParkBear]

Only stupid men would help a bitch if they want her-- that's the best way to get taken for granted. Chicks go for guys who DON'T help them.

[xOAKxTREE]

@AQGOAT24

We arnt against evolution its just tht we hav a shit ton of dumbass rednecks and blacks who think tht the bible is never wrong. Which is stupid.

[jsmassacre]

@xOAKxTREE Worse, they think its real.

[SouthParkBear]

@xOAKxTREE

Better than idiots who think stealing, hating and killing is ok because the bible says not to.

[Roronoa2zoro]

So basically:

"You're the result of 4 billion years of evolutionary success. Fucking act like it"

[AQGOAT24]

Americans seem to be so against Evolution, but they seem to support social darwinism (not to say Louis does not accept evolution).

[LuneyTune72]

@AQGOAT24 What "Americans" are you talking about? Deep south, middle Americans? Bill O' Reilly? Quit your generalizing.

[SouthParkBear]

@AQGOAT24

Well it's complicated; the oligarchy perpetuates the myth of free-markets in order to blame the victims, but in reality they practice a Hamiltonian monarchy to keep them powerless.

[dksilentbob]

@AQGOAT24 I can assure you, most Americans are not creationists.

[HallonTaton]

@dksilentbob the pesky creationists just shout very loudly

[Devoti]

@dksilentbob wikipedia: "When asked for their views on the origin and development of human beings, between 40-50% of adults in the United States say they share the beliefs of young Earth creationism, depending on the poll." so, yeah you're right, but 40-50% is still way too many.

[dksilentbob]

@Devoti Damn, that comes as a surprise. I'm American, and pretty much none of my friends are creationists. I'm curious though, where these stats are from, where they conducted the polls. Was this a broad, nationally conducted survey, or did they just ask a bunch a people from the Bible Belt?

[Devoti]

@dksilentbob i wanted to post the link, but it's not allowed, but it's from pollingreportDOTcom/science.ht­m the margin of error is +4 and +3 in most of the questions asked. i don't know where in the usa the people where from.

[enriquesalazar009]

@dksilentbob not true, I am not a creationist.. But most Americans are.

[jonmichaeljordan]

@enriquesalazar009 you are telling us that there are some 200 million creationists in this country?

oh wait... where you that guy who came to my house to do the poll?

[FuxYoFace]

@AQGOAT24 Hey, don't group us all together. We know there are many retards in our country, but that doesn't mean we are all like that.

[CambridgeHeights]

@AQGOAT24 Is there something wrong with social darwinism?

[alteregoash]

@CambridgeHeights it's not in keeping with darwinism, for one. Also, it's an inconsistent philosophy that's mostly a justification for malthusian bigotry rather than an attempt to account for the world.

[legalizeit727]

@AQGOAT24 Most Americans are secular and accept Darwinian concepts. Occasionally you have the religious, uneducated insane people who try to argue against it

[19volks71]

@AQGOAT24 I think you mean religious zealots the world over. I have plenty of American friends, American family and American co-workers- in fact, I myself am an American. The general perception amongst most people I've met is that evolution is a fact.

Go ahead though, lets hear some more of your enormous generalizations about an entire nation.

[CrimesonWitcher]

@AQGOAT24 I kinda have to disagree. I think people are getting smarter every year so less and less people are join the church and more are leaving because they realize it's crap. I'm a non-christian American and I do believe in evolution. You should hear some of the crazy stuff creationist come up with.

[KJamson13]

@CrimesonWitcher see thats what you would think....but more and more people in the uk and maybe in america are actually converting to islam or reverting back to chritianity :(

[richig761]

@KJamson13 Uhm... that's not true. Atheism has been rapidly on the rise.

[KJamson13]

@richig761 Islam is the fastest growing religion in the uk

[richig761]

@KJamson13 Yeah, Islam is the fastest growing religion. Atheism ISN'T A RELIGON. LOL

[KJamson13]

@richig761 being an atheist i know that, but the uk has more religious people than non religious

[richig761]

@KJamson13 Obviously, as do most parts of this world (unfortunately)... point is that Atheism has been on the rise for a while now. Just about everywhere.

[KJamson13]

@richig761 ye i agree it is, i recon in time it will probably become a majority but it will take a good bit of time :P

[Charsept]

@richig761 you said atheism isnt a religion, but isnt religion just another word for belief system,

and ironically believing in nothing is still a belief system. so i think it qualifies 

[richig761]

@Charsept You're an idiot... No, actually calling you an idiot gives "idiots" a bad name. Atheism is by no means a belief system. Atheism is THE LACK OF BELIEF in a supernatural deity.

Oh, and you might want to look up the definition of religion. "The belief in and worship of a superhuman controlling power, esp. a personal God or gods." Atheism is not a religion, LMAO. Atheism has no set of beliefs, worships nothing, and lacks a belief in any supernatural deity. Get a clue...

[Charsept]

@richig761 after you googled the definition of the word religion, did you bother to read the second definition ? because words have more than one meaning yknow. to You maybe religion is all that shit you said it was but to me religion is a belief system, or sense you love google definitions so much how about "Details of belief as taught or discussed" and in that sense, yes atheism is a religion. and btw, having a slightly different view on what a word means makes me an idiot? get real

[richig761]

@Charsept OMG... this is just hilarious. You may be the dumbest person I've ever seen on the internet. Atheism DOES NOT HAVE A SET OF BELIEFS, you fucking moron. It is the LACK OF BELIEF in a supernatural deity. Atheist's do NOT FOLLOW a certain set of beliefs, or values. Atheist's are not TAUGHT to believe anything. It is just the LACK of belief in a deity. That is it. You ARE an idiot, and a fucking ignoramus. You fail to recognize something that is VERY FUCKING SIMPLE. I hope you're trolling.

[Charsept]

@richig761 the lack of a belief in something is still a belief. saying "i dont believe in a deity" is the Same as saying "i believe there isnt a deity"

Anything a person Believes to be True is that persons Belief. atheists BELIEVE there is no god or afterlife. that is their Belief System, their "religion".

Dont be so Narrow Minded to think the word religion only exists in the context of Gods and Afterlifes.

Im starting to think the source of our disagreement is Purely Linguistic !

[MyloDude22]

@Charsept Atheism isn't the lack of a belief. Atheism is simply the rejection of your claim that there is a God. Basically, "you are making a claim and haven't given me sufficient evidence to think that it's real." If there were no people in the world that believed a God exists, I would have no reason to say, "You haven't given me sufficient evidence to think a God exists." People believing in a God created Atheism. Without your stance, my stance wouldn't exist.

[richig761]

@Charsept A religion requires a BELIEF SYSTEM, and a GROUP of people worshiping an idea, or a set of values. I believe in Global Warming... does that make Global Warming a religion? No. I also hold a lack of a belief in ghosts and dragons. Does that mean all of us non-believers in ghosts are a religion? No. You seriously have no idea what a religion is.

[NYisontop]

@Charsept in what other context does the word 'religion' exist? You're corrupting the word 'Belief' to mean conscious thought.. The disagreement isn't linguistic, but a regressive manipulation of language. Without god(s) or instruction there is no religion. Atheism is not a religion. It is the rejection of religion and the rejection of the claim that something other than a scientific process triggered the direction of this universe.

[instereovideos]

@Charsept eh... no. Saying "I don't believe in a deity" is not even close to "I believe there isn't a deity." You're confused.

Mental exercise for you: A man in civilian clothes comes up to you on the sidewalk and makes an extraordinary claim: he's a cop, and if you don't give him your car, he's going to lose a murder suspect. He even has a badge. Do you decide he's a cop? Do you decide he's not a cop? Or do you lack belief in both until you have some better evidence of who he is?

[MrYoubrian]

@instereovideos You say "I do not believe in murder suspects" and walk away.

[instereovideos]

@MrYoubrian I'm not sure what you meant... what you wrote is worded poorly. Are you saying that's what you think an atheists take would be, or that it's what you would do? Either way it didn't make much sense, sorry.

[oOPL4GU3Oo]

@Charsept no because it isn't a set belief, but merely a position towards the ideology of a god...simply having a position on a matter isn't a religion

[Charsept]

@oOPL4GU3Oo agree to disagree

[CrimesonWitcher]

@KJamson13 I don't see that many Americans converting to Islam but I know for sure that they are growing in Europe but I do think that the religious community is shrinking

[KJamson13]

@CrimesonWitcher In the UK the Islam presence is definately growing as the population of Muslems is still on the rise, i do agree with you though that the non religious commuinty is definetely increasing and will only continue to do so :)

[CrimesonWitcher]

@KJamson13 Alot of people seem to have grown tired of this religion stuff and alot of people don't really see the proof anymore. I believe in God but I'm neutral. I think I'm agnostic.

[richig761]

@AQGOAT24 Louis CK is an atheist. He has said many times he supports evolution, and has also spoke out against religion many times. I'm not saying you didn't know that... you just sounded unsure of his beliefs. You are right though. Half of americans don't accept evolution. It's sad.

[drago884]

Brilliant! I've been saying this for years, minus the lions.

PURGE THE DUMB!

But yeah, Louis C.K. wins in his presentation of this idea!

[sam80jr1]

is everyone retarded? he was promoting survival of the fittest for population control. it cud have been anything. we need "x" to wipe out the weakest, plug in any predator for x. hes funny because hes passionate about his opinions and talks about his frustrations with day to day life. i thought it was a great set and its so true u see these dumb bitches with no intelligence getting shit handed to them cuz they are pretty.also hes on network tv - every comedian cleans up their act for talk shows

[skinwalkerxxx]

what the fuck was the point about the fucking lions? Louis was off his game.

[gjc82071]

@skinwalkerxxx What??? That was an awesome clip/concept! Also, you just basically answered your own question. If you don't understand it, your comment is pretty much proof on why we need lions! LOL!

[skinwalkerxxx]

@gjc82071 You can be a Louie mark yet admit that sometime he is off. You can see it in his face that he knew his dialogue sucked.

[siegfriedfreud1984]

@skinwalkerxxx common, just cause you dont get the joke, doesnt mean it sucks. 

[skinwalkerxxx]

@siegfriedfreud1984 That's rich because someone doesn't like a joke that's automatically because he didn't get it? that joke sucked. fucking lions? Louie's humour is usualy about the day-to-day life, the lion joke is more of an absurd style that other comediens usualy do. and to me he just failed at it, especially at the writing level.

[TheRagtagChicken]

@skinwalkerxxx He has a joke about waiting 2 minutes to see if anybody on earth is still alive and then fucking a chimpanzee. He does absurd jokes quite often. He just used lions as a random predator to put his point across that humans need to have something hunting them to keep them at a decent level. I understand you don't like it, and I understand that this was a weak set by his standards, but he does do absurd comedy on a regular basis. Him having to stay clean probably didn't help.

[skinwalkerxxx]

@TheRagtagChicken people that are stupid should be eaten by lions. that's it. I think he probably came up with that while reading to his children.

[TheRagtagChicken]

@skinwalkerxxx You just repeated a part of what I said and acted oblivious to the rest of the point I was trying to make. But thanks for that beautiful insight. I think we're done here.

[skinwalkerxxx]

@TheRagtagChicken I did not repeat your stuff. I rewatched the whole monolgue to see if I had missed something. I didn't. I wrote what I saw.

[ccmmiaakoawwqqx]

last joke ownz

[GnomesAmok]

You're joking, right Matt?

[mavrick45]

this clip is amazing, what's it from?