Hey Girlie... I'm going to start editing this slide by slide... cause i tried to do it all at once and i have a limit of 500 words! Boy, was i mad... haha anyways...
Opening:
...trusty friend, Wiglaf (got rid of 'named')
His warriors also played a small part in the story (changed the last sentence the flow better)
Seriously...I hope you made a good grade on this. That'd suck if she took off points for...funniness >.> Psh. If she does...I'll kill her! I'LL KILL HER SO BAD THAT SHE'LL BE DEAD!
Hmmm...GREAT WORK, DARLING! I showed my mother and she was like "OMFG!" Yep...she said that n.n;
'tall tales' not tall tells
"The warriors went out and told the village people of their sorrows and tall tales."
you really dont need to say who the music is by b/c we arent citing them correctly
'except' not excepts
"No paper objects were hurt"
you really don't need any of that other stuff... (n.n?)
katmar1989 5 years ago
'dying' not dieing
'noooo' not nuuuu
'armor' not amor
just say, "And thus, Wiglaf went back to slay the dragon!"
just say, "Beowulf and the dragon had both been killed."
who did Wiglaf go and bury?
katmar1989 5 years ago
starring... (not staring)
and you really dont need to say "and also" before each character... you can just say there name
"are you okay at all?" doesnt sound right... just get rid of 'at all'
steal is also spelled w/ 2 'e'... *steel*
was it really christmas morning?... if it was you need to capitalize it too.
katmar1989 5 years ago
Hey Girlie... I'm going to start editing this slide by slide... cause i tried to do it all at once and i have a limit of 500 words! Boy, was i mad... haha anyways...
Opening:
...trusty friend, Wiglaf (got rid of 'named')
His warriors also played a small part in the story (changed the last sentence the flow better)
katmar1989 5 years ago
Ahahahaha! Katie, you dun good, yo XD
Seriously...I hope you made a good grade on this. That'd suck if she took off points for...funniness >.> Psh. If she does...I'll kill her! I'LL KILL HER SO BAD THAT SHE'LL BE DEAD!
Hmmm...GREAT WORK, DARLING! I showed my mother and she was like "OMFG!" Yep...she said that n.n;
HisokaKurosakiYnM 5 years ago