There's a really sad story in the news here in the UK at the moment about an old TV celebrity who has confessed on camera to a mercy killing some years ago of his lover who was dying painfully of aids in hospital.
To put him out of his misery he smothered the guy with a pillow.
I think I'd prefer to go with a woman sat on my face if I were in the same situation.
This guy sees a sign in a yard that says "Talking Dog for sale" Not sure what to make of this he inquires at the door. The man assures him that he does in fact have a talking dog for sale and he should go around back and check for himself. He does and sees a rather nondescript mutt and as he approaches the dog says "Hey how's it going"? The guy is of course, stunned.. he says "Holy shit.. so what's your story"? The dog responds..
"Well I'm the only talking dog in the world and I was the top spy for the C.I.A. for 20 years.. I was personally responsible for the fall of the Berlin Wall.. I've been on 3 Space Shuttle missions.. Now I do security at the Airport, eavesdropping for terrorists and bad guys..and I'll soon be the first dog to earn a Doctorate..
Guy goes back up to the owner and says "How much"? "50 bucks" says the owner. "Holy shit I'll take him.. but seriously why so cheap"?
I just put it on Facebook.
no1saphead 1 year ago
lol:) You're very good at jokes. Even you douche glasses aren't so... well...douche.
blaziermissy 2 years ago
You have a perfect deadpan, Errl. I just about mictorated myself!
garythegrunt 2 years ago
Excellent delivery. Best joke I've heard in a whle, thanks.
1357Peter 2 years ago
LOL!
good one Hairy!
AbdultheImpailler 2 years ago
A number of points?
Why?
TheForthcoming1 2 years ago
LOL, best laugh in a while. Thx.
lifeofryli 2 years ago
Hahahaha!
rrward 2 years ago
That was quite disgraceful, do you know any more like that?
Tridhos 2 years ago
Shit hairy.. I feel retarded.. I didn't think that posted so I just gave up on cuz I was in a hurry.. hopefully it makes more sense now..
SofaKingLoaded 2 years ago
LOL...
mobiltec 2 years ago
Good delivery, man.
Morrinn3 2 years ago
Nice one.
There's a really sad story in the news here in the UK at the moment about an old TV celebrity who has confessed on camera to a mercy killing some years ago of his lover who was dying painfully of aids in hospital.
To put him out of his misery he smothered the guy with a pillow.
I think I'd prefer to go with a woman sat on my face if I were in the same situation.
bakedbean37 2 years ago
heheheheee - I agree with everyone else: your delivery made the joke even better!
Elaina43 2 years ago
One of my favorites.. great delivery hairy..
This guy sees a sign in a yard that says "Talking Dog for sale" Not sure what to make of this he inquires at the door. The man assures him that he does in fact have a talking dog for sale and he should go around back and check for himself. He does and sees a rather nondescript mutt and as he approaches the dog says "Hey how's it going"? The guy is of course, stunned.. he says "Holy shit.. so what's your story"? The dog responds..
SofaKingLoaded 2 years ago
"Well I'm the only talking dog in the world and I was the top spy for the C.I.A. for 20 years.. I was personally responsible for the fall of the Berlin Wall.. I've been on 3 Space Shuttle missions.. Now I do security at the Airport, eavesdropping for terrorists and bad guys..and I'll soon be the first dog to earn a Doctorate..
Guy goes back up to the owner and says "How much"? "50 bucks" says the owner. "Holy shit I'll take him.. but seriously why so cheap"?
"That dog's a fucking liar man.."
SofaKingLoaded 2 years ago
@SofaKingLoaded very good
ooglebydoogleby 1 year ago
ive heard it before..... and its still good, lol
evilmike1154 2 years ago
Typical woman, if only she would move around a little.
toelesshoe 2 years ago 6
hahaha!
squirrly001 2 years ago
First I was like "uhm... how could that..." and then I was like "OOOOOW!".
KajiCarson 2 years ago
O_O
hellshade2 2 years ago
Like the deadpan at the end.
jamgilp 2 years ago
LOL, oh that was fucked up :)
tattooskin72 2 years ago
hahah great delivery too
ubergossen 2 years ago 2