Video5 - Discovery Institute - liars - cowards - bollockless morons

[AnimationalismMISC3]

Why doesn't a chimpanzee give birth to a man? Wow, there's a line people don't cross, honestly your miles past it.

[Baerchenization]

Stupid Americans... we have most of these animals in Europe :) Go educate yourself!

[Beholdforiambob]

@Baerchenization I think your comment made me pee my self which solidified my belief in evolution. You see when my dog gets excited she pees her self so I must be part dog.

[SanityInAnarchy]

Wow. Poe's Law strikes again!

[TheJacov]

Boy, could they have found anything else that hasn't already been completely debunked?  They really plumbed the depths of stupidity with this one.

[WilkoPhilip]

love how you use a Christian band =D

[Hardysamnin]

It's a shame none of those animals exist, there were awesome :) Another great vid DPR.

[NUTCASE71733]

@Hardysamnin

I'd have loved to have the elephant lizard as a pet.

[mmmmmarcus]

A labrigull would kick ass.

[panterguy]

The entire zoo crew at faux noise speak fluent monkey.

[herpiethelovebug]

Oh, its dpr, so yes this is satire then. But sadly, people like ray comfort perpetuates stupidity like this.

[herpiethelovebug]

Wow, how ignorant do you have to be to ask questions like that, and answer them with god. Epic fail. I'm thinking this is not satire, and someone actually believes what this vid is trying to say. Science for the win.

[auggiedoggy]

The sad thing is these *are* the types of questions ID believers ask. If it wasn't so pitiful it would be funny.

[eyeammi]

430 people prove Poe's law

[MakinH2O]

I have seen a chimp give birth to a man, I'm a anthropologist...chimp flash aaarrrg.

[MakinH2O]

I have seen god, I'm a priest..god flash aaaarrrg.

[MakinH2O]

I have seen electricity, I'm a welder..arc flash aaarrrrrrgh.

[dbigoodboyatdbkfdcls]

Is this satire? anyway there are a few worth while questions thrown in with the shit: #1 is answered by Neil Tyson (atheist scientist) in that speech he gave for Author's at google #12 no, but we can observe the effects of electricty #8 Einstein's (athieist scientist) general theory of relativity covers that, though it's hard to picture mass warping space #21 is a retardation of a question I also would, unlike them, want an answer to. character limit prohibits me, so I'll reword it in a followup

[dbigoodboyatdbkfdcls]

@dbigoodboyatdbkfdcls Yes, I'm talking to myself. I suppose its my atheist ways driving me crazy. I'll get on with that question: There is evidence that homo sapiens have a pair of fused chromosomes and this is an unlikely event, I always wondered if the specimen with the first fused pair would be able to produce viable offspring by breeding with a male/female without that fused pair. I'm no expert in genetics and there is probably an explanation which I have yet to learn and would like to.

[dbigoodboyatdbkfdcls]

@dbigoodboyatdbkfdcls #3 explained in a high school Geography course (mostly the results of plate tectonics, though some may be formed by sedimentary layer deposits

[jaktrep]

@dbigoodboyatdbkfdcls i guess it's a bit late to say this but yes this is a satire

[dbigoodboyatdbkfdcls]

@jaktrep I honestly contemplated if it was an original video they had made or not... I don't put anything past creationists from what I'm seeing these days :D

[ailidhe]

not that f**king crockduck again

[spiffythealien]

Hippocrab demands a sacrifice!

[infectingthecrypts]

Ugh, so much stupid from those idiots. The only thing that made it worth the pain was the hippo-crab.

[Eagle0600]

I got to 1:06 before the stupid burned too bad and I had remove my eyes. I hope you're happy.

[SqueakerAlpha]

#11 God had to breathe life into Adam , who he made from dust rather than dirt. Check under your sofa or bed for dust bunnies, they seem to breed there.

The Griffon was very well done , the wolf bird also but not as believable.

[captwasabi]

#1-Gravity.

#2-They are different species.

#3-No.

#4-Because there are none of the environmental factors required for abiogenesis prevalent in a jar of Jiffy.

#5-Propositional fallacy, therefore irrelevant.

As for the rest of this stupidity, what lead-paint chip eating drooling simpleton came up with this crap?

Must be the same type of delusionary, mentally handicapped idiot that believes in an invisible person who created everything in 7 days.

[gregrutz]

The creationists came up with this !

and they don't know

'why do people laugh at creationist''

[silverhammermba]

Either this video is a troll or it's creator is seriously misinformed.

None of these questions (or pictures) have ever been put forward by the Discovery Institute. The Discovery Institute is still BS, of course - but atheists raging at this video are wasting their time.

[djalessandromagno]

@silverhammermba It's just a satire !!

[ninjapiratefromspace]

obvious troll

[02browns]

haha excellent troll :D

[PartyPancakes]

This video gives creationists such a bad name. Whenever you're in an argument with one, show them this video and they'll feel so ashamed that they'll kill theirself.

[gregrutz]

@PartyPancakes

No, they really do ask such stupid questions !

[PartyPancakes]

AHAHAHAHAHAH! HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH­AH!

Oh my god this is the funniest video I've ever seen.

[jimbob3332]

I think this video is so stupid that the condensed stupid in the video sucks even more stupid towards it like a Black Hole of Stupidity, but the attracted stupidity doesn't go where the stuff that a black hole sends stuff, but it just makes the Stupidity black hole even bigger and even dumber.

[NaotakunFLCL]

@jimbob3332 I couldent agree more.

[DeaconVerter]

Discovery Institute: Give 'em the boot!

[daarco2]

LOL

Yep, those are the best (stupid) things creationist have said : )

[Lumby83]

you don't recognize irony and sarcasm when it bites you?

[genobahamut1337]

#16: No, because they don't even consider god. You discovery people are in a conspiracy against science, though.

#17: Bananas are also MADE BY MAN. =P

#18: You "discovery" people have no idea what evolution is, lol.

#19: Most don't, but... Look into beastiality.

#20: No, but you like to remove reason to continue to lie.

#21 (real): Ooo ooo, Ahh ahh?

/fun.

Wow those discovery institute guys are stupid, lol. What's with the strawmans between points?

[genobahamut1337]

#9: Because we are monkeys, and so are apes. We're all the same "type" as you say.

#10: Bwahahahaha!!!!! XD

Also, "Millions" is more like 4.5 Billion. =P

#11: Wow, that's almost as dumb as #10.

#12: Uh... Can you? o_O I'm getting concerned about your health here.

#13: Science does not change, the results do. Science is the method.

#14: Seriously? o_o Circular logic works because circular logic works?

#15: No, and no... When did these stop being questions?

[genobahamut1337]

Fun time!

#1: Gravity holds the material together and a sphere is the most energy efficient state. Scientists know why this happens, dumb DI morons.

#2: Because that isn't evolution.

#3: No, have you ever seen your god? =P

#4: Again, because that's not how it works.

#5: Why would something have to hold it up? Why would it fall if there is no gravity?

#6: Wrong-o. We don't gerenally see people making universes. We see painters painting, though.

#21?: Monkey-Man! XD

#8: How can you?

[IconOfSin88]

Man, these were funny as hell. :D I haven't had a good laugh in a while.

[Dmachado1989]

i tell the truth because i say i only tell the truth lmao

[HHRB0664]

The DI-- for people with no fucking concept of scale or time.

[AnimalNitrates]

AHA!

Question #3 refutes that old Creationist belief that the earth is ~6,000 years old: if it's 2009, it must only be 2009 years old.

pwnt.

[i know this is a satire]

[AnimalNitrates]

Question #10 is I meant. The Mac keys are fuck'd up.

[joetamb0rra]

Cool!

[TheMassdistortin]

I'm sorry that I've always been so mean to all of you. I was just hating myself. I now see the folly of my ways. I am proud to say that I am no longer an atheist and it feels great!

[Malsipots]

"Evolutionists" think............creationists don't.

[tsrox20]

my head is husrting from these facedesks *wham*

[TheMassdistortion]

another retard video. Even the music sucks.

Stupid Christians

[AzazelLucifer42]

...it's a satire video...

[photodube]

The video is satire.

[TheMassdistortion]

The essential point, however, is that "in satire, irony is militant". This "militant irony" (or sarcasm) often professes to approve (or at least accept as natural) the very things the satirist actually wishes to attack.

[anthonzi]

3:43 "Furries think I'm real"

[FrostbittenWolf]

The thing...

have you ever seen mountains form...

I personally haven't, but the answer is YES, people have seen mountains form and end. At least volcanos are considered mountains once they become dormant or extinct.

[switchroomrecords]

Does discovery institute only hire people who dropped out in 5th grade?

[f00tstep]

@switchroomrecords Yes. That or graduated from a christian school systom which has even less marit.

[madzyzome]

The fact that us atheists can't explain gravity is one of our greatest failings :(

[devil238]

Ahh shit.

Poe's law, I almost thought this was serious.

ಠ_ಠ

[MajMatye]

The Discovery Institute, promoting the negative progression of knowledge.

[devil238]

The Discovery Institute, HUUURRRR DURRRR DERP DERP DERP DURR HURR.

[Philosoraptor77]

I wish I could have favorites for my favorites.

[nemesis4go10]

It's clear to me that this video has decent rating because of vote bots.

And it's very clear to me that creationists have reached a new low. Very low.

1 Star.

[photodube]

The video is satire.

[nemesis4go10]

Haha, you are right, i'm an idiot.

So many bullshit around, the satire statements seem real compared to those ignorant acts.

5 stars to counter my 1 star. Have a nice day.

[tttc]

Always keep Poe's law in the back of your head.

[kitas7]

Ekhm...Seriously... Is this video fake? If not, then creationists reach the very new level of stupidity.

[01101100d]

You can tell these creationists are becoming so desperate that they become more and more delusioned all the time, they ask such propostrous questions that could be answered in foundation science at college, in fact let me say primary school, i knew why planets were round, what a common ancestor was meant to actually mean etc before i left primary. These people are the grown ups that still believe in sants, they never get any presents but still hope next year something will come up. cheers

[CritikalMind2008]

#11 - "If I throw dirt up in the air, what are the odds it will fall into the formation of a living man"

I don't know if it's saying Atheists believe this actually happens, but if it is, then I'd just like to say that it's not what Atheists believe, its what most Theists believe...

[FrostbittenWolf]

There's soemthing i've wanted to ask theists...

If Adam and Eve were the first humans and they had two sons, how did we not die as a species? Did Cain and Able get Russian mail-order brides or something?

[Rockster969]

have you EVER seen anything so goddang knuckle scrapingly dumb!

[ryangannon]

A rabbit-chick would make marketing at easter much simpler.

[Elhardt]

Yeah, I've heard some on the creationist side make some of those ridiculous insinuations, and even some of those pictures remind me of those Kirk Cameron held up at one debate. But it's also possible to make a similar video based on some of the things evolutionists have said. I'm quite shocked by some of the things I've heard come out of the mouths of some in the scientific field, as they can be equally childish at times.

[Rockster969]

Really Elhardt? I'da thought actual scientists would be very wary of being flippant with the truth,in private jokes maybe but publicly?

[leorama77]

ok what did i just watch?

[Boy192]

Wait. Has this video been edited? Did Discovery Inst. really put this bullshit out? Wtf?! Science is good enough to turn on your computers, TVs, clothe you, allow you to live past the age of 30, start your car, travel to the other side of the world in under a day etc, but it's not good enough to explain the immense variation in living things? Huh! o.O

I guess God must'e done it. Cool!

[TheMassdistortion]

Well Done!

[ceruleansilverwolf2]

#21, if we are monkeys, I'm speaking monkey right now. its called english. fancy that.

[ceruleansilverwolf2]

#18, exactly why there's this whole evolution over generations thing.

#19, cause he's sick in the head? actually happens all the time in africa.

#20, and all fossils are created by satan just to fuck with us. by the way, that pencil was created by imps in india. they're trying to take over the world you know.

[ceruleansilverwolf2]

#12, yes! and so can you! go out in a thunderstorm, and stand under a tree, preferrably in a puddle.

#13, so does that whole snakes left hand, birds right hand thing. I could also say monkeys are purple. See? I'm not changing my statement. ergo, perfection.

#14, I say I'm a duck.

#15, kind of like that whole crusades thing, right? or all those antibiotics?

#16, BWHAHAHAHAHA!

#17, just like how this rock is perfect for throwing at your head?

[ceruleansilverwolf2]

#8, just because anchient man couldn't explain rain, doesn't mean there's pixies spitting at you off in the clouds to make rain.

#9, that's like saying "if there are dogs, why are there still wolves?".... because we know wolves don't exsist anymore. silly wolves.

#10, its 2008 cause some country hick got born and said he was the son of god. let's all celebrate 2008 years of idiocy!

#11, I'm not a mathemetician. You have a go at it. gives you something to do while you're watch the mountain.

[ceruleansilverwolf2]

#21, [where'd all the other ones go?], she wouldn't, she'd give birth to perhaps a hairless monkey, and if this was helpful, he'd breed with other monkeys, and there'd be more hairless monkeys, and one of those monkeys might have weird hands... genes don't just go "BOOM! MAN MONKEY!", they add up, and are subtle.

[ceruleansilverwolf2]

#3, no, but you can sit there and watch if you want.

#4, peanut butter is not a volatile substance, so all material is static, and there are not many reactions taking place to create new molecules or structures

#5, why would you hold up a singularity? one kind of singularity, is a black hole, and you do not want to be any where near it.

#6, if you stuck a painting out in the middle of a high wind, with some paint upwind of it...

[ceruleansilverwolf2]

#1, gravity pulls on all objects, and pulls hardest from the heaviest point of a mass. our world is threedementional, meaning that if mass is gathering from all sides, it it circular in shape.

#2, because chimpanzees do not have enough human mutations. they have the majority of the neccesary material, but it is much more likely for a hairless chimpanzee to be born, and it is unlikely to breed true because it only has normal chimpanzees to mate with.

[TheObservantOutsider]

2:25

Contrary to popular belief, not all atheists are 200 foot tall killing machines.

Although, I definitely would've become one sooner if this was part of the deal.

[Error302]

i.... i can't tell.... which parts are satire... and which parts are actually from the discovery institute.... oh lawd i don't know what's real anymore LOL!

[artyfarty2]

A senator from the South recently said "if English was good enough for Jesus it's goo enough for me". We aren't deling with geniuses here.

[TheObservantOutsider]

Oh, wow...I need to see that on video.

It's not you, but there comes a point where I have to stand back and say "no one could be that stupid."

[artyfarty2]

I haven't seen it directly but Hitchen's has quoted her (I think) a couple of times.

[TheObservantOutsider]

Ah, so we won;t have another gem like the senator who went into a meeting about global warming quoting the bible.

[artyfarty2]

I don't know if there is footage. I'll have a look around.

[artyfarty2]

Ah, it's an old one, my mistake:

"If English was good enough for Jesus Christ, then its good enough for Texas" --

Ma Ferguson

From wiki: "Miriam Amanda Wallace "Ma" Ferguson (June 13, 1875 June 25, 1961) was the first female governor of Texas"

[TheObservantOutsider]

Oh, ok.

It's still hilarious, just a bit less so.

[hereticjoeyjoey]

i hope this is satire

[TheObservantOutsider]

It is.

[rba718]

lol whats sad about this video, is that ive actually had creationists ask me many of these questions.

[rba718]

lmao

[YankoBG94]

o o "the holy bible is truth, because the bible says it's truth"

I am 14 years old and my I can't imagine the simpleminded moron that made this shit...

"science leads to killing people" wtf is that XP

I can't believe someone said: "Banana's are perfectly designed for the human hand."

"millions of years for a monkey to turn into a man? Monkeys don't live that long" LMAO!!! XD

I didn't honestly thought that there are so stupid people out there, until I found about Youtube...

[photodube]

If most 14-year olds are capable of intelligence and critical thinking as you appear to be, there may yet be hope for humanity.

[YankoBG94]

This is the stupidest video I have ever seen... :D

I totally pwns evolution XD. This made my day...

[ReductioAdAbsurdum]

"If the Universe is millions of years old, why is it only 2008?"

*rofl*

[rastarigate]

hahahahaha, nice

[Bockatadi]

part of may brain died when the "why is it only 2008" question came up..the photoshpped animals are cute and terrifying

[capnjonas]

#3 Volcano!

#8 if I drop Christian from high place, they go SPLAT!

#11 Never tell me the ODDS!

#12 LIGHTNING!

#15 Science started the CRUSADES?!

#17 so are penises! ^o^

those animals are Nightmare Fuel Unleaded!

[stuckvanilla]

To people getting mad at this video:

All of these questions/statements/arguments kind of speak for themselves. They're all ridiculous and absurd. They don't really need to be refuted. That's why they were put in this video, for a laugh.

[stuckvanilla]

Best Ones: 1:57 and 3:27

lol

[wolf44mag]

I want 4.08 mins of my life back! I knew that creationists rode the short bus, but this video rates "retard rickshaw".

[CathakCreos]

also... how is the question "Why are planets round?" A fact? How is "Go to the zoo and tell me why doesn't a chimpanzee give birth to a man?" a fact? The statement that "Planets are round" is a fact. They are round because gravity pulls them all towards the same point once they start congregating, and it all the shifts to make about as even a surface as possible and yaddayadda stuf about density why am I explaining this here... the only people who'll read it are people who already know this.

[CathakCreos]

I think question 6 makes me the angriest. Painting requiring a painter does in no way mean the universe needed a creator. Also, yay for blatant propoganda to making Creations feel smart that they can recognize photoshoped pic-...

Never mind. Question 10. That just wins in shear, overwhelming stupidity. That date is so... so.... argh... it's not even their date for the world! It's used to make life easier for everyone in recording and planning events!

[macnutz]

Given their extreme dishonesty evident in almost everything they do, I don't think "getting it" even comes into the equation.

When you intentionally lie and present knowingly false arguments to prop up your ideas, it is very obvious that you already know you are wrong.

But then they would have to find real jobs if they ever admit it. Stealing from the ignorant and gullible is more profitable than productive work.

[giliellthesecond]

Bananas, please, no ' in there. And those pics are scary.

Oh, and if people like to have sex with sheep, a monkey should do the job, too.

[fonna]

Those creationist just don't get it or just don't want to get it, because they need to think stupid in order to continue to believe in their "God", and its pretty pathetically desperate.( not to mention , they need a job doing SOMEthing lol)

But real science must go on.

Sorry , creationists fail once again as usual.

.

[elmoscarcan]

wow!!! interesting questions!!

I knew it from my heart long ago, evolution is a devil conspiracy

[caseyrainer]

Let's have a vote: Which is the most hilarious question?

I vote for #10....

[mirjaahm]

everybody can answer # 3 : yes or no

[teriy4ki]

For those of you who are unsure if this video is parody or not, look at the description.

[garrettducat]

Whoa whoa whoa... is this actually a video put out by DI or is this supposed to be a joke?

[Gradivus375]

Cute angle, especially with all those 'altered' animals. They do claim the Bible is perfect when it is far from. Amateur scribes made the first copies from the supposed original scrolls. Amateurs make mistakes which are passed down to others making copies by hand who add more mistakes up until the time the printing press was created by man. Some of these errors were indeed alterations. John 7:53-8:12 wasn't written by John but were added hundreds of years after his death.

[sabertooth1980]

Indeed. There are wholes parts of the bible that were cut out of the "cannon" of the bible.

Like how Jesus ended up with someone and had kids.

But we can't have that. That would be a Happy ending. Or at least a Human one.

[Gradivus375]

Oh, I just saw electricity when lightning flashed through my Den windows. If you want to see more? Strip an unplugged electrical cord, twist the ends together and plug it in. Do it outside and with a rational person as a witness. Assuming you know some rational people.

[nhmllr725]

This is a joke, right?

Right?

I don't want to answer these stupid questions...

[ryanthepunk2002]

Please tell me this video is a joke, I'm not gonna even waste my time pointing out the stupidity of this thing. If this video is seriouse, whoever did this is a moron.

[Knowntje]

lol! question 10 is brilliant XD

[muranziel]

what a hell? There's a picture of each and every one of those animals in this video so of course they're all real!

Geez. Seeing is believing. Simple as that.

[Fell21]

well that was painful to watch..... tho to be honest i would love to have a hippo crab

(3:22)

[muranziel]

I wouldn't mind having that wolf with eagle's head. I'd start to breed them and in no time I'd have Griffin-like pet =)

That'd be awesome.

[PapaDeltaRomeo]

LOL that was so funny

[sarahbellydancer]

Wow. Please tell me this is a joke.

[BoneySkylord]

I once met a man in the pub who told me that his friend's cousin used to breed crocaducks. So it must be true.

They bred them then slaughtered them to make shoes and handbags that also worked as soft pillows.

[BoneySkylord]

He had to stop breeding them when one of them spontaneously evolved into a dragon and set fire to the house.

[sabertooth1980]

I want a dragon!

[shadowcnidarian]

God designed Photoshop so those bizarre pictures could be made.

[mhrby1985]

worst part is that none of these arguments are so stupid that creationists haven't been known to use them

[hobbitsarecool]

#19

Another question: Why would a man want to have sex with a sheep?

[Drksrpnt]

I lol'd... way too hard.

[CalifornyaRIP]

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Whoever made this original video is a comedic genius. They seriously had me thinking someone could actually stand behind these questions.

[terminaldeity]

That was hilarious/scary. The propaganda about atheists and liberals is dangerous, and could easily incite violence, which, last time I checked, isn't very Christian.

[19turtle97]

#10 is easy becuase it means 2008AD thatrs why

[TurkeyProphet]

Well if they've photographed the animals then they must exist. That's science.

[slither42]

lolz

[maciolek1980]

I want to work at the discovery institute because they must give all there some strong crystal meth.

[hieu1994]

ITS SATIRE SO STOP FLAMING!!

[VadimDubois]

WTF???

Is this satire or what?????????????

[hieu1994]

yes it is

[DerekOdgers]

Wtf is with the song in the background?

This is horrible.

[erkmedia]

i hope this video is a joke.... please tell me it's a joke. otherwise whoever made this is the biggest retard i have ever seen in my life.

[RyuDarragh]

It's no joke. They actually believe this crap and have to. If they don't, then they are made out to be retards (sorry, all you *actual* retarded folks.. I know it's an insult to have the Creationistic/ID/TeachTheContr­oversy morons lumped in with you...)

[Leehofooks]

It's a joke, but the arguments are very similar to those made by some creationists. Watch Kirk Cameron and Ray Comfort in "Way of the Master." They argue that if evolution was real, there would be "crocoducks." Yep, half-crocodile half-ducks apparently have something to do with the theory of evolution.

[DeemotheAtheist]

lol at the title... you have a way with words

[Theoneyousee]

WOW what a waist of time

[leorcc]

I like the mixed animal pictures, they are very well made. The rest of the video is just meh...

[Shavarnarak]

The sad truth is... creationists actually ask all those questions. It's not even a parody, it's more of a list of 'stupidest crap a creationist might ask you.'

[dnguyen11]

LMAO... They're such a bunch of retards... Arrogance gets you nowhere.

[mikeburrly]

what a bunch of idiots...and a complete waste of my time.

[laelius3]

lol.. what a bunch of idiots...

[b0b0maj0]

I want an eagog.

[yahyahtoopy]

"why are the planets round?" lol duh gravity

[Randomologist1]

I couldn't watch that. I just ate and I could feel my ham, cheese, tomato and onion toasted sandwich about to come back up.

[yahyahtoopy]

ya i almost threw up the baby i ate satan would not be happy about that lol

[IhaveNoCreativity]

watch?v=PJnn-wMPU9w

Here is a video of the REAL creature at 1:16, at least kinda.

[whispers83]

343 tsimfuckis

[pikechris1]

f*ck DI... their time is c0ming, im telling you...

[wanderingskeptic]

mmmmmmm.....monkey sex.

[Retartedflyinghippos]

Hehehe. The funny part is they don't understand. It's also the pathetic part. The creationists who say evolution is wrong have a small understanding on the subject and don't have any credibility. They shouldn't be argueing what they don't know.

[Chadfish]

I'm not sure I get this. Did dprjones make this or did the Discovery Institute make this?

Did dprjones make this, and Discovery made a DMCA against the video?

I'm all for fighting ignorance, but I'm unclear on this one...

[Robertz1986]

DiscoveryInstituteID made it, who is an Atheist parodying the DiscoveryInstitute, but they got the videos taken down with false DMCA claims, so others are mirroring them.

[Chadfish]

Got it. Thanks.

Creationist's are so lacking in discernment with the information they believe/spread that I almost thought it was real.

[bloodyrediron]

I wanna crocoduck, I shall feed it on my enemies.