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  • This is one of my favorite videos EVER!!!!!!!!

  • I just love you ...

  • Wow! This is the Most life changing video I've ever seen on the yt. Thank u my sista

    I'm subbing!

  • egypt = african country . btw

  • Omg.... God bless you TODAY....

  • I absolutely loved this video <3

  • Hi Tonya. When will your Vitamin E oil be back in stock? I would like to order it for Christmas.

  • I love this truth from a real sister.

  • i love tonya tko

  • You look BEAUTIFUL tonya

    & this was an important meesage <3

    Thnks for telling it how it is <3

  • hI tANYA, just wanted to tell you that you are a wonderful and beautiful woman. I'm addicted to your videos so keep up the great work! Love you lady

    Martin

  • I love this video for many reasons, but the main reason is because you are speaking truth with what you're saying. It's not easy being a self made, classy, tell-it-how-it-needs-to-be-tol­d woman, but you make it seem effortless. I've subscribed.

  • Tonya, you always break it down for the peeps xx love it!!

  • was intrigued when i saw your title, and then i saw "in your 30's"...im 17 -_____-

  • I usually don't date women ask for money before or after we actually go out. --- Sent From TonyaTko's AppRats (Facebook App)!

  • I have one question though. Why do we women so DESPERATELY want love from men in the first place????

  • @SanamLovesEssie60 Its like people evaluate our success as human beings based on BEING in a relationship. That is why you have people stuck in bad relationships and even bad marriages. Women desperately fall into this scheme all the time.

  • Girl, where was you at 10 yrs ago? You would have saved me a lot of grief. Thanks for keeping it real.

  • is the pumpkin pie acid gone already!! :(

  • I LOVE THIS! ---  Sent From TonyaTko's AppRats (Facebook App)!

  • you are so awesome :) I'm college girl that totally looks up to you!!!

  • I've not watched this video, I just skipped back and forth to certain bits. It always catches my eye when you're promoting your cosmetics, I watched the Chris Rock documentary Good Hair recently and it said a tiny tiny percentage of african-caribbean cosmetics companies are owned by african-caribbean people. Have you seen it?

  • YES TONYA! i love this video! So many NEED to hear it! Will be passing it on!

  • Heyy miss tonya I love wach your videos but this video I really love u really spoke it about how females need 2 save their self 4the right one and men don't really won't no relationship just friends with benifits you right on if a man say don't want a relationship then he aint the one. Me myself I'm a man and I dont like friend with benifits a love relationships with a woman that I care about I been raise by my females growing up so thay thaught me how 2 treat a woman

  • OMG Tanya this is so true!

  • When you were comparing how someone can give sex for sex, or what not, but can give love and not have love returned, I was definitely agreeing with you! You will only get what the other person is willing to give you; it's up to you to take it or not! You definitely teach someone how to treat you.

  • One reason there are so many men who don't want to commit these days is because there are too many women out there that give them the milk for free, buying into the bogus that sleeping around is a statement of their freedom. They never see any logic in buying the cow. GIRLS!!!! We are all collectively our worst enemies!!!! We ruin it for all of us! SEXUAL FREEDOM IS NOT SCREWING AS MANY MEN AS POSSIBLE!!!! Its about the right to self-determination in choosing a partner!!!!

  • ohhhh my god u look amazing. Is that your real hair?

  • Love it

    Speak Truth Tonya --- Sent From TonyaTko's AppRats (Facebook App)!

  • not just women. it can happen to men to. men save yourself i save myself

  • i love you !! ' big sis'

  • WHAT HAPPENED @10:26 YOU SCARED ME! YOU JUST PAUSED BLANK STARE!!!

  • @BossyGirlEnt Remember my videos are unedited and unscripted, and in this vid I had no notes, I was just coming from my heart, and there was a conflict btwn what I wanted to say and how I felt it would sound. I cant play the sound clip bcz Im tethering thru my phone, but from what I remmeber, I was going to say "Get it from the back, or get it from behind or get it on the backend" My mind was racing thru a million diff substitutions, and I froze.

    LOL. Why would stat scare you?

    -Tko

  • @TonyaTko it was a joke

  • One big problem. In the middle east woman are told to wear a vail over their face by law. Not out of choice. The middle east rulers have strict codes of ethics. 

  • @75tm400 If you were speaking from EXPERIENCE you wouldnt be speaking in wild sweeping terms. First, name which COUNTRY you're speaking about. The Middle East is an entire region. 2nd) Who said anything about a veil covering the face? 3rd) Which groups of women did you interview whom told you they covered themselves out of force?

    An Abaya & Hejab are very beautiful, flattering & modest. You would have to know more to speak from an informed standpoint on this.

    -Tko

  • @TonyaTko most people don't know that its saudi arabia thats extremely strict with the black abaya's and hejabs lol. the other surrounding countries arent as.

  • @75tm400 I don't think that is the point at all.No dress code is being promoted here.The fact that it is to woman's advantage to keep herself to herself is what is being elaborated on.Now this self-containment and self-reservation can be manifested in many ways.How a woman dresses in public can be one manifestation of it,but the most important one is how she conducts herself in society.At the end of the day,if a woman chooses to abuse her freedom by exploiting herself, she wont really be free

  • She's over the top, but she is SO on point...Big Sista TKO is preachin y'all!!! Heed the message!

  • your hair looks good here.

  • its so true --- Sent From TonyaTko's AppRats (Facebook App)!

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  • Men wouldn't have to be players if women didn't fall for douchebags and assholes.

  • @hagadaba true, but we good men out there should step up to the plate trying t get with woman

  • If you do get a show on t.v. Try to get it aired internationally because I live in London and I like watching your shows. :D

  • You look great

  • You are so beautiful!!

  • Will you have any shipping promos coming up? I wanted a loofah but the shipping was about the same price as the loofah and I am only in Jersey. Thanks

  • @DariceHumphries Yeah, Im not happy with the cost of shipping on light items either. UPS specializes in larger boxes so pkgs over 6 lbs get the discount. So you can add to your order to 3 or 4 lbs worth of stuff for the same price.

    Next year I'll be doing away with "Free Shipping" on the packages & stuff over $100. Instead I think I'll offer a $7.95 flat-rate, and I'll personally pay the overages. I'll try that out & see how it works

    -Tko

  • Looking thin TKO

  • lol I couldnt stop laughing when you kept saying oh I'll tell you after the video....*oh look at these gloves* ...But i'll tell you after the video...*but theres 3 things I use to clean my makeup*....we'll talk about that afterwards....*wait, this is my new pumkin pie acid & its great....We'll talk about that after the video.....*people thought I was air brushed, see look, my skin is clear....''oh but we'll talk about that afterwards! lol Funny!

  • @Tonya: Thank you for this. I have been conteplating casual sex since its been awhile and I dont think Im ready for a relationship. I would like one but Im trying to get my life in order. I may just wait.....

  • My big sister? Ah Ha! Ooooh, talk about sex or whatever, I will still listen.

  • We need to spend more time finding quality ppl to be romantic WITH but I will in no way tell some1 stop looking 4 "bf/gf" in their 30's because maybe that's ALL the want. Maybe they don't believe in marriage & their comfortable just having company with they see fit vs til death do us part. Not every1 wants someone 2 wake up 2 every morning just because you(or I) do.

  • keep doing your thing Tonyatko....quality woman! i love it!

  • Ms TONYA TKO! Lady lol I felt like I was sitting front row at church convention! You gave it, and Gave it good. This is something I have been telling my girlfriends for sooooo long. I am definitely going give them this video, try to get them to understand the realness of the situation. You are right it all starts with self love and self RESPECT! a man will only treat as good as you allow him to, if you dont care about your self then while the hell should HE?! Ms Tonya you got to come to da TDOT!

  • Enough Said!! Well done Tonya!! Oh and coming from a makeup artist, your smokey eye is very much on point! I cannot wait to give my testimony on the complexion polish, had for a week now, doing my before & after pictures too.

    Love you!!

  • You speak the truth Tonya. Everyone needs to know your message. Love != sex. You are a great speaker.

  • What is ur opinion on transgendered women ...what advise do u have for us in a relationship or in da dating world ?

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  • THIS IS WHAT ALL WOMEN SHOULD HEAR!! I'm tired of females backing the guy they think will love them, and throw out the guy who literally, and genuinely loves not just their flesh, but the personality that makes them an individual.

    Loved your words of power. Self love is the best love, because you can't love someone else if you do not love yourself.

  • Thanks Sis, some of the points you made in this video spoke to me directly. Thank you for your point of view, wisdom & knowledge.

  • You betta' PREACH!!!!!! I watched this like 5 times and forwarded it.... SO TRUE! Love it!!!!

  • Idk Tonya, people have baggage from childhood

  • This video made me nervous, but I get the point lol

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  • Tonya, love this video. But I thought it would say that us older women should get a husband!

  • @yasintha Did you read the description? I got so caught up in the video that I didnt go into depth... but that is what I was getting at in the video... so I added it to the description.

    -Tko

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  • That's right! I'm not in my 30's, but I still don't want a fling or a meaningless relationship, and when you really love yourself, you just can't settle for a meaningless relationship. I'm gonna keep this video and save it on my page! Great Advice.

  • I went to your website but there are many products, I don't know which one to pick

  • @gluenati Hello darlin... if you're ever confused abt which products to get look on the left hand side for the column which says "Problems" then look for which products solve which problems. The difference btwn my products and other co's is: My products are Luxurious, but theyre not just for 'Luxury...' EACH product was made to solve a problem.

    There are no dyes, fragrances, colorants added. Just pure healing power from nature :)

    -Tko

  • love you! lol..u so funny n tell it like it is :P <3

  • Whoa! Tonya, lookin' sexy!

  • Tonya will you marry me?

  • @Chederic Yes!!! :-D

    See, ppl say Im single cuz I can't "Get a Man." But I have gotten a public proposal.

    Thank you!! :-P

    -Tko

  • Just saying HI;)

    Just comming back after a few months.

  • i love this video you can see the emotion coming out so i know it real but what do you say to those women who just like sex.. they are safe, discreet but arent looking for a relationship at the moment nor are they looking to give sex for love, women enjoy sex also

  • You look so good....will you be my girlfriend? lol j/k, don't shoot me! Good content, glad to see the love guru is BACK!

  • p.s again. you look gorgeous

  • p.s. head wraps aren't strictly middle eastern ...nuns wear them too.

  • i'm 28 so i guess i have 2 more yrs

  • one more thing! i noticed u don't have the complexion package thing on your site, with the shea butter, soap and something else..... are u going to bring it back??

  • @cherryz88 I have never had a complexion polish package dear. Ive had a stretch mark package, and the bombshell package. (which are still on the site). The polish is sold by itself.... for now ;-)

    -Tko

  • tanya i have a question, i was on your facebook a while ago and u made a comment saying something like "if a young girl learns how to use her pum pum at an early age...." it just came to me hearing u talk about women and sex. could u explain what u where saying, it's been on my mind lol

  • @cherryz88 I have no idea which comment yur talking about. I make hundreds of comments a day. Do you remember what the context was? Or the conversation?

    -Tko

  • @TonyaTko i found it. it was the discussion you had of the before and after cartoon pic of the girl passing up the nerd to go for the thug, then later she was pregnant the nerd was rich. u were saying you've seen that type of story play out time and time again where the girl "get's her sexual peak early and learns how to work her pum pum"......

  • @cherryz88 ....i though you were saying a girl SHOULD learn how to work her pum pum at a young age :p

    i had to do a double take cause i know u wouldn't say something like that lol if you did you would have some 'splaining to do! jk

    glad i went back and checked, love your vids :)

  • Pfft. Forget 30s, I'm having this problem in my 20s. Too many dudes want to play around (which is somewhat understandable considering my age group), but they assume I'm one to be played with. It's a good thing I'm celibate, because if I was having sex with every potential partner from the get go, I wouldn't be as clear-headed.

    Shut it down and the truth always reveals itself!

  • Okay now what happen to the wonderful sugar scrub face. I think it is the lighting

  • i love your videos i learned so much from you.i am 23 years old n learned the HARD way what you preach in this video . I have given my body to men who did not deserve me hoping they would love me in return but all i got was hard penis and disrespect. The only good thing that came from those horrible experiences is now i know how to peep game like a mutha. Your videos made me realize no matter how lonely n horny i get im not gonna sell myself short its not worth it i deserve better.

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  • Thank you tonya

  • fresh and free...dang you should have a pep talk to the young girls..from middle school..and high school..

  • amen Amen AMEN!!!!!!!

  • I likeeeeee the Hair... It really flatters you.

  • 'Keep your book closed!' LOL. You are right..sex and love are not the same thing. My problem was trying to get men to understand that though. People just need to accept reality and see things for what they are. Some people decieve themselves into thinking that because they have sex with someone then a relationship should follow. Not necessarily so. Men with baggage? From the first sign I tell them take their luggage elswhere!

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  • Make since to me

  • I LOVE YOURS HAIR THEY ARE BEATIFUL. I LIKE WHEN THEY FALL ON YOUR FRONT.

    KISSES

  • Hey Miss Tonya!!! Girl you are lookin' fly....love the hair too!! First I want to say THANK YOU...I got my package today.. I'm super happy! Second, I want to say that you was on it with this video...you rocked it!! Keep on doin' what you do....you are appreciated....Peace!!

  • tonya you are the best....i really needed to hear this!!!!!!

  • You brought up a very good point about us women needing to come together and stop our foolish behaviors that has allowed men to act like “players.” We as women really do have the power to shape the type of relationships we have with men. If men no longer had access to the “down for whatever type of chick,” and all women made their expectations of what they want in a partner/relationship clear, then those player/macho men will cease to exist.

  • @rubykat11 BRAVO!!! APLAUSO! APPLAUSE!!

    Hun, I am giving you a STANDING Ovation in my Home! You are so right!

    Thank you.

    We Really need to come together. Stop letting ourselves get spent and wasted by ppl who have no intention of doing right by us.

    -Tko

  • What about men, like me, who want a monogamous relationship but don't want to sign a contract to say I love you because in society today I as a man have so much more to lose then the woman. I agree if a man is in his '80's proud to be single it is crazy but what about men who are in their 20's and 30's NOW who see what can happen if things don't work out. Divorce really hurts you financially, emotionally and if they have kids it's even worse.

    I want marriage but not in the worldly way.

  • @bubblehashman You as a grown man have to make a decision which is right for you. And you have to find a person who has the same values.

    Marriage is a legal binding document, and from what I have heard from surveyed married couples the paperwork DOES make a difference. In Legality, in Commitment to working it out, in KNOWING you can't just 'walk away.'

    Your proposition will not work for a Queen like Me. But if you meet a woman who is down for your get-down, then GO for it. You have my blessing

  • @TonyaTko

    If it works why so much divorce. Also, most people don't walk away because of the FINANCIAL problems not cause they care. This is one of the reasons why so many cheat. It sounds good but in reality it doesn't work anymore for most people and all you have to do is look around. As a man I know for a fact that marriage isn't enough to keep love in a relationship from women, it is there to make sure she can have something if it doesn't work out which is smart for her but I get fucked.

  • @bubblehashman I used to think like this but there is a problem in this idea. Marrying someone makes them promise that if it goes wrong, they will try and make it work. There's no guarantee of that in any other relationship. And you know, I'm sure you're thinking "those people aren't worth it then" and yeah, I used to agree. Sometimes these people are worth it though, some times it just takes the piece of paper to make the other person feel secure enough to carry on with it when it does go bad.

  • @MaximumCheeseage

    I see what you're saying BUT what if it doesn't work out, there is a big chance that I will be fucked and my life will be harder when as I get older it's supposed to get easier.Women initiate most of the divorces, they get the kids most of the time and if I stayed with her for a few years she can get alimony plus child support that is determined by how much I make not how much she needs. I look at life from good & bad and weigh it out and in this case it doesn't make sense.

  • @bubblehashman

    Especially when women work meaning she can pay her bills, there is birth control for both sexes so she doesn't need to worry about children & who is gonna help take care of all these kids.You can actually have true love without all the bs to get married because you don't need each other for external things but just because you want each other.If she leaves me cause I don't sign the paper then she never wanted me in the first place because it doesn't secure anything for the man.

  • @bubblehashman There's always prenups, not to sound grim but I've considered as much for my own relationship. I've not really taken the kids thing in to consideration either because I'm infertile but you know.

  • Lmao. "Speaking of FLAWLESS, I'm looking it right now...check me out tkoskin.com to look like MUAH!"

  • You look gorgeous!! I like your hair like this!!

  • OMG!!! SHARJAH!!! you were there! i studied there! at the american university! if i knew i would have loved to meet you! :D

  • Thank you Big Sister Tonya for this amazing video. I was hearing Erykah Badu's Bag Lady replaying in my mind while you were talking. I remember when I first heard those lyrics and how I felt that Erykah was teaching me something also. Ladies, don't be a Bag Lady.

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  • Beautiful Tonya! Too long since I saw one of your videos!

    This video's title has me worried. I haven't found that special someone, and I hear all this advice about not sweating the game (it'll just happen)

    Well, it DIDN'T just happen! And I'm 32 already!

  • Girl you ARE PREACHIN!!!!!!! IM done!!!!! NO Im begining!!!

  • amen!

    

  • Have you heard of Dedan Tolbert? He talks about this type of stuff everyday on his radio show. google him if you can.

  • Tonya!! What is your total body skin care regimen??

  • @quitejaded Nevermind. Just read it on your tkoskin. BTW, girl... I just saw your new site. The subcription thing. Your response to negative reviews. Girl, you got this sheeeetttt on LOCKKKK! I like how you handle business (and your youtube show :D)

  • Tonya your videos always touch a soft spot in me.

  • Did you end up going to RHHLive??

  • Look at you, you look fabulous.

    I definetly want to try your pumpkin acid. Can't wait. =)

  • YESSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! Tonya I agree I love the truth in every form. Love you!

  • love the smokey eye, love the long videos. keep them coming!

  • WOW. damn Tonya you really kept it real.. I appreciate vids like this. x

  • what if a girl just wants to get laid (safely) and not try and make a man fall in love with her? can you touch on that?

  • @alessandradepalma I HAVE touched on that... women produce Oxytocin at a rate of 200 times that of men. Oxytocin is a BINDING chemical... so you can go ahead and mess around thinking you're just "Getting Laid" and end up falling for him against your will... its a matter of biology. SO play around if you want to.

    If you're a grown woman in the midst of your sexual peak and beyond. Go for yours. Do what's right for YOU.

    -Tko

  • @TonyaTko you good

  • @TonyaTko Thank you for your advice :) I agree with everything you said in your video

  • @TonyaTko Which vid is that? Interesting

  • "No more lovers if you please. No more lovers if you please. I am preparing for Sacred Union and I will accept nothing less..." Sacred Woman by Queen Afua.

  • i hate to admit it but for the most part you were talking to me....omg. i was ok until you broke it down but now im breaking it off, it's not healthy and i am in my early 30's and i dont wanna waste anymore of my time on people who are not in the same mindset as me. i was almost in tears listening to this...facing reality is hard. Thank Tonya!

  • @scooks77 HUGGGSSS! Honey dont you worry. A NEW day is dawning. First come CHanging your MIND... then your life follows.

    -Tko

  • If you are 35+ and single, you better do what you can or just accept that you will be alone for the rest of your life.

  • I really liked this video, everything you said is so true. I have to ask, do you practice what you preach

  • DAMN GOOD VIDEO!! THUMBS UP LADY!

  • make your vids for as long as it takes to get the message across. Damn! some ppl waste hours watching empty movies and talking crap on the phone. Those of us who appreciate and are grateful for what you have to say will stay tuned. Motivational and inspirational as usual!

  • Loving this Video.. man i always fall off, but when i watch her Videos, i get back on the right path. love her <3

  • PREACH!

  • tonyaaaaa :D omg, you are such a great woman (btw excuse my bad english - i'm from germany) whatever, back to business :D you are so smart in my eyes and i love how self confident you are you think so right mainly when it comes to these type of topics, i just love everything about you! really that's no joke, to me you are someone like oprah to all american women i'd say, i think just like you and always happy about it because it asures my view on things, btw i'm 17 and to me you're a sister ♥

  • I am older than you but I have learned a lot from your videos. YOU GIVE ME LIFE!!! Everything about you is DIVINE! I love you like a real sister.

  • Love it, Love it, Love it..will definitely pass this on to my single sistas and brothas!!

  • I loved this video. Thanks so much!

  • This is so amazing and on-point, self love, that is what it's all about...Thankyou sis......

  • Wow! Ur just a great person and love how open u are about thing like these! Hope u can keep up these kind of vids!

  • what you've said should be common sense :)

    It never stops to amaze me how desperate people are for acceptance and how afraid they are of being alone :S

  • Thank you for telling these women that they are more likely to catch something! That is a very little known but extremely important fact!

  • This is something that I needed to hear

  • Some ladies are laying down for Gucci bags and the men are laughing their asses off because in their eyes you're nothing but a cheap whore. Too many of us are playing ourselves. We have to wake up to whats going on out here, because too many women are using their bodies to get ahead only to be left with kids and a broken heart. And the man is on his way to the next woman and does the same bullshit

  • Do this Oprah?

  • Nice hairstyle, Tonya. Also, this is the best video you've made yet.

  • Thanks Tonya, nice vid and it definetly was a refresher

  • I'm actually watching your video now and its quite interesting!

  • Amen sista..☺♥♥♥

  • Tonya do have products for men?

  • This is my situation TKO, I am an aspiring Biologist and Zoologist, I'm also into Evolutionary Biology! I am the only one in my family who supports Evolution, the rest of my family are religious christians who dont share the same views I do about science and life. I felt religion oppressed me individualy and intellectualy, yet my parents still feel I'm lost with out beliving in god..which I know dose not exist. I am the black sheep og my family TKO for that reason.

  • Make your video's as long as you want gyal!!! Love the hair.... Nuff respect! :)

  • Hey Slim!!! I almost didn't know it was you! Looking great ma! ;-)

  • this video is terrible

  • @TonyaTko

    you got a lot smaller how much weight you lost?

  • Your hair is so gorgeous! Tell them lady!