CHUCK NORRIS JOKES 4

[sush130696]

chuck norris doesnt masturbate........he looks at his penis and says --> "FIRE"

[cougs24ever]

CHUCK NORRIS HAS A CANNON PENIS!!!!!!

[dontscrewtheworld]

When life gives chuck norris lemons, he shoves them back down life's throat.

[DOODLEFACEMASTER333]

Chuck Norris can lose his virginity and go and get it back.

[MonkeyNuts8P]

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.

[AllanSteeno]

Chuck Norris once brought a stillborn baby back to life only to roundhouse kick it into oblivion, thus the saying 'The good Chuck giveth and the good Chuck taketh away'

[flatbat13]

guns carry chuck norris for protection

[PhysicsProp]

Chuck norris won a game of poker with a charazard, blue eyes white dragon, a #5 uno card a back of a card and a magazine

[TodGA1]

Chuck Norris throw a granade and kill 50 people. Then the granade blew up.

[ericiskrenov]

Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.

[ericiskrenov]

chuck norris eats a bowl of dynamites for breakfast

[ericiskrenov]

Chuck Norris is the only man how can send a spinging kick by e-mails

[johnpaulmarkes]

chuck norris lost his virginity before his dad lol

[awesometico]

chuck norris cant teach anyone the roundhouse kick because that kind of power would mean the end of the universe

[980username]

Chuck norris lost his virginity before his father

[bguser19]

the original name of the bible was: "Chuck Norris and friends"

[Bam568]

The Great wall of China was actually built after chuck norris ordered chinese food... apparently he didnt like it....

[456panos]

Chuck norris sucks... If he was that good, he would crash my head on the keybowirgpq08H080sdada564fd1hb­6nq4385h2 bs;dlb,[q3 go1 pinOPIBGOpggasfg va/sg]qrg

[awesometico]

@456panos maybe he will

[SuperKuribohMaster]

Chuck norris destroyed the periodic table because only chuck knows the element of suprise.

Chuck norris one went to mars, thats why there is no life there.

There is no such thing as evolution, just a list of creatures chuck has allowed to live.

Chuck norris does not catch pokemon, they obey his every command

Behind ever man is a shadow, behind every dead man is chuck norris

Hitler has no mustache, just a deep, everlasting bruise from when he barely survived a slight roundhouse kick

[captinwaffles456]

the opening scene for saving private ryan was losely based on a doge ball game chuck norris had in the 2nd grade

[frombaerum]

its no such as chuck norris jokes- only chuck norris FACTS

[EroticPenguins]

Once on the set of walker texas ranger the crew found a dead rabbit and brought it before chuck who then revived the poor animal by stroking it against his beard 3 times. Shortly after reviving the sweet little bunny Chuck Norris round-house kicked the rabbit so hard it disintegrated thusly reminding the crew that the good chuck giveth, the good chuck taketh away....

[ramzza1]

Only Chuck Norris can drink from the fountain on X

[DalleDayul]

chuck norris shagged oprah and thus charlie sheen was born

[TheBobohj]

chuck norrises pulse is measured on the richter scale

[xmyxlastxlullabyx]

chuk norris can go aroud the world in 1 milsecound

[luisito586]

chuck norris once faught with superman, the loser had to start wearing their underpants over their pants xD

[MrDabears135]

chuck norris once urinated in a semi truck as a jokethat semi truck is now known as optimus prime

[YahielsMinecraft]

Goda Catch'em all?Chuck Norris did.

[TheWachong]

Chuck Norris is actually the gov. because they are trying to delet theinternet XD

[republicofsandles]

Delete the internet. Hilarious.

[jnwnarine]

When Chuck Norris opens his box of Lucky Charms, he only finds marshmallows.

[weibo1971]

the dodos died out because one craped on chucks car

[Bar0c]

chuck norris doesnt battle he just allows u to lose!!

[freakymessiman0808]

handicap parking spots are'nt for handicap people, they're owned by chuck norris saying that if you park hear, he will make you handicap

[MrSargentpickle]

chuck norris doesnt go swimming water just wants to be around him

[TheMintyClan]

Chuck norris invented the word K.O/unconscious when he round house kicked someone in the face

[TheMintyClan]

germ killers kill 99.9 percent germs Chuck Norris kills 100 percent of all germs.

[mw2fan7]

Comment Removed By Bruce Lee!!

[mw2fan7]

Norris < Lee

[Azuras1]

OMG! Haha guys watch Chuck Norris walking on the water! :D /watch?v=heD4vDtf6Ps

[ZOROARKxXAVIER]

chuck norris gave me advice for a history test

i got 35.....out of 30

[s4ph4r1s]

@simasdk You know what? If Chuck Norris actually would have read this, he would delete the internet, remember? So keep queit

[bonelesswing182]

Chuck Norris met an exclamation point. Today, we know it as a question mark

[tomrules37]

Comment removed permanently by Chuck Norris

[AW50M3DUD3315]

god said let there be light but chuck Norris said say please

[kittygal1000]

Chuck Norris sings dubstep at karaoke 

[bigjellybean12]

g didj

[bigjellybean12]

p didy

[xWh1t3Dyn4m1t3x]

they once named a street after chuck norris but they had to close it down because no one dared to cross chuck norris

[hollankendall]

hitler killed himself when he found out chuck norris was jewish

[hollankendall]

chuck norris pissed in a semitrucks gas tank as a joke... its now known as optimusprime

[CakeDuck112]

chuck norris doesnt swim... water just wants to be around him

[shadowcharizard10]

Sam Fisher checks under his bed for Chuck Norris

Jackie Chan checks under his bed for Bruce Lee

[TheEpicApples]

Chuck norris got his tonsils removed with a chainsaw.

[xelbaga1987]

tom cruise invented pink

[monkeykiller466]

chuck norris so bad he doesnt cut his grass he dares it to grow

[Manadox97]

@dannycraps Hitting the dislike button on Chuck Norris's Facebook is legally considered suicide.

[Manadox97]

Hitting the dislike button on Chuck Norris's Facebook is legally considered suicide.

[jariece5]

funny

[bigjellybean12]

chuck norrises uncles name is uncle norris

[mrjmorson]

chuck norris' dad had a vasectamy way b4 chuck was concieved

[bigjellybean12]

chuck norrises first word was rowed house

[Arik1134]

In the beggining there was chuck,in the end there was chuck, after time there was CHUCK

[noblemile]

Chuck Norris

[noblemile]

Chuck Norris can punch a man in the back of the face. the quickest way to a person's heart is Chuck Norris

[noblemile]

the wright brothers became interested in flying when they saw chuck norris.... Knights wear armor to protect themself from Chuck Norris..... The red dot on Jupitar is really the birth of another Chuck Norris.... When Chuck Norris fights Chuck Norris, the apocalypse will happen...... Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter

[ursurapid]

Alexander G. Bell invented the telephone. Two days later CHUCK NORRIS called him.

[superpurpleskittle21]

Are you canadian...!?

[TheWeedboy13]

chuck noris once shot down a german airplane with his fingers all hw said was bang

[TheJadelex]

Chuck Norris was given birth by his aunt., cuz no one would fuck his mom....

[skiwsbg]

@TheJadelex actually that's the best CN fact

[Bigdmccabe]

Chuck Norris doesn't teabags Noobs....... he Potatosacks them.

[Eminemfanofawesome]

Commet removed by Chuck Norris.

[insanebananaman17]

chuck norris dries his hair with a thundergun

[fartjarfunkle842]

some kids pee there name into snow chuck norris pees his name into concrete

[20118jason]

chuck norris leaned how to speak brail.

[TheButholeman]

jesus can walk on water but chuck norris can swim on land

[sghost258]

i called the cops on chuck norris, now i'm getting gang raped in jail for disturbing the piece

[DuDe9817]

They once made a chuck Norris toilet paper but it didn't work,it wouldn't take shit from any one

[MrTdub1980]

Chuck Norris is so bad that he gives Freddy Krueger Nightmares

[Liam7391]

Black holes eat people Chuck norris eats black holes

[supahippiegirl]

under chuck norris's beard is no chin. only another fist

[BoomItsZach]

@supahippiegirl lmao thats off family guy you dipshit.

[selenaluver35010]

@BoomItsZach fuck you it is still a joke you spaz! jesus you stupid mother fucker calm down

[BoomItsZach]

@selenaluver35010 im calm lol. i was just stating that its in family guy. i didnt mean to be so insultive lol

[selenaluver35010]

@selenaluver35010 lol srry i am kinda a spaz sometimes...

[smileywars11]

my brother said chuck norris isnt that tough he last thing he remembered he was somewhere in china

[JWPbumTitty]

the Indy 500 one made me cry.

[jasonCSQ99]

chuck norris can see air

[jakob26842]

Comment removed by Bruce Lee.

[Savemefromhelen]

Chuck Norris has a little sister... her name is Bruce Lee.

[StrawberryLipgloss13]

Chuck Norris was an only child...

...eventually.

[daviddean42]

Chuck Norris round house kicked Bruce Lee so hard he split him into Jackie chan and Jet Li

[urmom1613]

chuck norris does not go swiming water just likes being around him

[Sureshotgirly]

why are some ppl watching his other videos first and then putting a joke from that video onto this one? wtf??

[30albundy]

chuck norris once stubbed his toe.....he sent the bed flying into mexico

[crazyasfacebg]

ONLY CHUCK NORRIS can drown a fish

[dtwiiguru6]

superman and chuck norris fought on a bet. the loser had to wear his underwear outside his pants.

[Vdalton21]

chuck norris round house kicked you so hard you died yesterday!!!!!!!!!!!

[Dratenburg]

A while ago somebody named a street after Chuck Norris

They later had to change the street name because nobody survives when the cross Chuck Norris

[NarutorRasengan]

Chuck Norris has a PhD...in ass-kicking.

[TheDaftJunk]

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked the air and made a hurricane.

[TheDaftJunk]

When chuck norris fell, the grand canyon was made.

When chuck Norris had to pee, the oceans were made.

When chuck Norris was a baby, his toys were the seven wonders of the world.

I heard somebody shot chuck Norris. The bullet lost.

[Datacaust]

when chuk norris wants an egg he cracks open a chiken

[runescapemaster5001]

i was drinking red bull when i watched this.

[olpoziVids]

it is adolf hitler you stupid american, not every thing is speled like in english...

[tee14sigh]

black is not a colour.

[cesarcification]

@tee14sigh its a lack of color 

[wyatt3388]

@TheZezethex  BECAUSE CHUCK NORRIS KILLED HIM

[halobreach1]

chuck norris's beard is actually a fist in disguise

chuck norris and super once fought over a bet and the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of their clothes

chuck norris roundhouse kicked WW 3 because it made too much noise

[halobreach1]

chuck norris uses sandpaper and steel wool as toilet paper

the bermuda triangle was actually the bermuda sqaure until chuck norris roudhouse kicked a corner off it

[halobreach1]

chuck norris once roundhouse kicked a pebble so hard it went back in time and killed all the dinosaurs

[halobreach1]

chuck norris doesnt fall he simply goes face to face with the floor

[MrPainkiller4rent]

chuck norris once beat his own reflection at a staring contest

[justus0111]

CHUCK NORRIS DOSN'T CRY, TEARS CHUCK NORRIS

CHUCK NORRIS CAN BELIEVE ITS NOT BUTTER

CHUCK NORRIS LOVES CHRIS NORRIS

CHUCK NORRIS ONCE HAD DIARIA ON A SPACE SHIP. HIS POOP IS NOWN AS URANUS

[AgentZombieMan]

1 time somebody gave Chuck Norris a glass of cyanide, he drank it and asked "What is this, Light Beer?"

[Zoogiezoogie]

chuck norris has had sex with lots of girls, he still has his virginity

[stupidYOOTUBE]

Chuck norris can suck my balls!!!

- dad, mom and friends,. i love you all!!! bye..

[bluusch]

Chuck Norris' daughter lost her virginity at her boyfriend's house, Chuck Norris got it back.

Chuck Norris can reload a grenade.

Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.

Chuck Norris once injected his blood into a lizard and a fish, these creatures are now known as Godzilla and Jaws.

Chuck Norris once had sex in a truck and his sperm leaked into the engine, we now know this truck as Optimus Prime.

[sycotic51]

Chuck Norris dosent need birth control he spreads her legs and says no

[massivecomplexity]

CHUCK NORRIS SUCKS!......

Hold on someones at the door.

[jrskate34]

tsunamis happen when chuck Norris does a canon ball

[ThePlank1999]

chuck norris doesnt battle he allows you to lose

[99kayster]

How do you know what animals Chuck Norris doesn't like? Check the endangered species list.

[99kayster]

Chuck Norris had 2 pets, A lizard and a fish. He did an experiment and injected his blood into the pets. These pets are now known as Jaws and Godzilla.

[aznigga5]

Chuck Norris doesn't win. He just allows you to lose

[RIT2009]

Chuck Norris types answers on Google search, Google shows him the questions.

[xXGoNcAzXx]

Chuck Norris rode the Roflchopter, and it went chuckchuckchukchuck

[rmack1205]

the u.s. never dropped the atomic bombs on japan chuck norris lost his temper

[Miketamine]

Chuck Norris was Jesus real father , not God !!

[BelligerentPapayas]

Chuck Norris's real name is Carlos Ray

[MsCute1221]

Adolf Hitler died

Because of Chuck Norris

[ipod2304]

On the seventh day god didn't rest he created chuck Norris

[159tony]

When chuck norris stomped the gound, the dinosaurs went "NOT AGAIN!"

[g00dguyforyou]

@dannycraps chuck norris pooped you

[SpitOnJoe]

Chuck Norris does not flush the toilet, he simply scares the shit out of it..

[dancemanization]

when his mother was going to labor chuck norris ripped himself out of his mothers womb and then strangled the doctor with his umbilical chord hense the name C section

[yakkowarner20]

Chuck norris dreamt of Mountain Dew, Pepsi, & Dr. Pepper. BEFORE THEY WERE CREATED!!

[Skalmanshatt]

@yakkowarner20 not dr.pepper, Chuck norris farted and dr.pepper was created

[jiminycricket555]

whered you get that figure 11 target in the background

[waffle1997]

chuck norris doesn't fight he just allows you to lose

[YATVZ]

Chuck Norris can Subscribe one guy two times, WITH ONE ACCOUNT

[Meiacoffeestain]

Chuck Norris once had a gun in his hand....it didn't survive.

[pivotrocks]

They One Named A Street After Chuck Norris. They Had To Rename It, Nobody Crosses Chuck Norris And Lives.

[Coolreaction198]

@pivotrocks NOBODY WALKS ON HIM EITHER

[kilkolio]

neil armstrong wasnt the first man on the moon, it was the first man chuck norris roundhouse kicked

[marv013]

Chuck Norris is so fast he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

[Nerfsoft11]

u dont kick chuck norrises balls his balls kick u!!!!

[777DanTheMan777]

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands, after he left it was renamed the Islands

[999MadMatt]

CHUCK NORRIS DID IN FACT BUILD ROME IN A DAY!

[dionbamazing]

chuck norris once caught crabs from wonder women he used a public restroom a guy named peter parker used the same stall as chuck it changed peter's life

[JaxenCupid]

when chuck norris goes swimming, he doesn't get wet. the water gets chuck norris'd.

[TheLOLBoy111]

chuck norris got bitten by a rattlesnake.. after three days of pain and agony... the rattle snake died!

[TheWeeklytubeshow4]

if chuck norris was a rapper lil wayne would be out of a job

[re6fan1997]

did you know a python is a garden snake chuck norris used as a makeshift condom

[RoootyScoooty]

Chuck Norris once battled a thousand samurais and won by using a piece of licorice. Chuck Norris's semen are diamonds. Chuck Norris tried raping mankind in the ass.

[Sploucht]

chuck noris dosent use the bathroom the bathroom uses him

[eminemrulesmajorly1]

chuck norris could round house kick god and jesus and still have time to kill hitler