Jealous Obsession - Girlfriend Needs Help!

[melissayfelix]

Hey Dan and Jenn,

Here is my question..

I have been with my boyfriend for about a year now, and I really see a future with him. Hes smart funny caring romantic and gorgeous. what he isnt is down to earth.. He is a jealous one. He always jumping to the conclusion that im seeing someone behind his back. which i am most certainly not . I find it insulting that he thinks this way of me as i am a hundred percent committed to him alone. He is paranoid and i am sick of having to reassure him.

[mexifaith]

@melissayfelix hi there I am going through the same problem as well. IDK what to do but all I can say is leave him....maybe he will get scorn that way. If he really loves you he should be willing to change or seek help.

[SenneffRules]

@melissayfelix it's your fault

[hwymadness850]

My girlfriend is so jelouse and controling. Deffinately Bi-Polar. Obsessive and manupulative. I cant take this any more, but she has no where to go.... How can a man free himself without throwing her into the streets?

[anonymous11228]

therapy isn't free. I don't have any money and I need help :(

[PopeyeCove]

Half of the people commenting on here act like they know what the fuck is going on between two people they've never met. That's insane. As for the advice on the video, it's good. Insecurity is an unattractive quality... get help and grow up... in other words.

[J3NNYakaFLAKA]

im a really jealous person too but liike u sed seek proffesional help ... im not tha type of person that really trusts anyone but I AM getting tired of my jealousy i want to trust him but theres just too much insecurity i ask him about his past girls nd he ses theyre all in the past but it just gets too me ..wat if he still thinks of her? wat if he still has feelings for her?? wat can i do to stop my head from wandering soooo much nd thinking stuff that just gets me depressed. i get myself mad

[Granity123]

Okay what if your man has to be still friends with his ex because they have a kid then what?? If you love your man you'd have to respect that. Women are way too posessive and insecure. I guess I'm one of the few who dont believe in jealousy.

[derekandjake777]

i need a massage

[OOCWookie]

..at school, and she HATES it when i where the these TIGHT(literally)pants that SHE says shows a little too much(if ya know what she means) and she just stops talking to me, puts in her ear phones and listens to that DAMNED Screamo Trash. but should i get aggressive toward her, cuz i mean, I LOVE HER, and she is SO convinced that we are going to get married and have kids, i'm not saying we arent, but just cuz we've been going out for 6 years TOTAL... please help...

[freckleforce93]

It hink it shows that she loves you. But be careful cause it can turn the relationship sour. I would just tell her how many times it takes that you love her, not the other women. To me i think you should show that your a little upset that it seems like she's way to posessive. hope it works ...

[gabsadgurl]

bad advice he doesn't love her cause he doesn't understand her he's disrespecting her for using those kind of pants that shows everything.

[gabsadgurl]

you kno what dont be fucking playing with her like that if ur not sure about the marriage shit then don't even talk about it leave her alone let her find some one that reaLLY LOVES HER CAUSE I CAN SEE THAT u don't cause if u can't handle her at her worst then ur quite sure u don't deserve her at her best.

[OOCWookie]

AHA!!! this is the answers i need, i commenred on one of your other videos... and while my gf went out with that guy, we were broken up for lke 5 months, then she realized that she made a BIG mistake cuz i'm like a star athlete, and all she could find was wimpy "trash-hunters"(what i call it, someone that ONLY looks for sexual experience in a relationship) but anyway, in those 5 months i dated lke 5 girls and ONLY went on dates and kissed, and she gets jealous VERY easily when she sees them..

[gabsadgurl]

fucking retard

[rageagainstthepeople]

i have a boyfriend for about 7months now. and im still a bit aggressive towards girls "eye-ing" him. but the one thing to realize, he's YOURS. if you win his heart, he's yours. yea he might be looking and somtimes the eye wanders, but so does yours. cant lie about that. but anyways point is, no matter how much he looks, and no matter how much you think, if you really did win his heart, he's yours and you are his. these connections only get broken if you let it.

[gabsadgurl]

nah ur wrong he shouldn't b looking at other fucking bitches if he really loves u if he does he's disrespecting u .

[servingthetrueking]

Whats the word for a obsessed girfreid,.

[bomberchips]

@servingthetrueking

a bitch?

[n0nieJ]

i have a problem

in my past i got 3 ex boyfriends,2 f them had cheat on me with other girls.I have a new boyfriend now for 4 week.but its really hard for me to trust him cause other boys were unfaitfull to me.we already had sex,so i realy don't want to lose him,cause it means a lot to me.also,he is a pretty african boy,he gots lots of atention from other girls.maybe its good to tell you what he told me:"if you dont sleep with me,i may go out and cheat on you.And i really don't want to do that"

[chattyQUEEN]

Heyy. This sounds like he only want to have sex with you, not love you. If he really love you, he won't threaten you with that.

[freckleforce93]

to me it seems like he's using you. If he has to resort to say that to get you to sleep with him, maybe he's not trustworhty.

[rockofsation666]

hes just using u for sex, y would he say that if he really dose want u. he should respect ur bounder's and wait till u fell like doing it. think about it

[Sv3rdArcher]

you do state the obvious.

that dosent help.

[nbn444]

OK, I've seen 3 of these Ask Dan and Jenn s things.

They were ALL weak, understated, heartless, with advice from a couple that has a keen eye for stating the obvious.

Interesting questions, but you aren't going to learn or gain anything from their superficial spattering and fake laughing.

[DanAndJenn]

Ouch... It's easy to sit back and criticize. Think you can do better - send us your videos where you provide better advice. We love to learn new things. ;-)

[robbieC971]

@nbn444 bt it is right, these vidios are useless!

[emiliafiallo]

@nbn444 you're right

[JohnnyRock2000]

Huge jealousy is something that cannot be fixed. It is the way a person thinks, is not a simple behavior problem and cannot be changed. In this way it is like narcissism, a brain process that is untreatable. There is one cure for huge jealousy. Run like hell.

[soccom8341576]

Jealousy always seems to be logical. That's a problem.

[ravemachin]

this is obvious...the women clearly has self esteem issues and should abstain getting involved in relationship until she solves this

she has to start to love herself for what she is and understand what her values are

people evolve so if your partner is evolving well he will go for someone better...chances are YOU will be better than the ex

self esteem problems has nothing to do with dna but if your parents had this well since they raised you ...you learned it from them

[DanAndJenn]

Your comment is right on , but I recommend a little research on the DNA aspect. What you say is correct, but does not explain how a person shows personality traits of a great grand parent or other relative that they've never met - this type of thing happens all the time...

[DestineeTosensation]

Hi DanAndJenn i'm very vry jealous person and sick of it im goin crazy when im out whit my man he looks other womens when i ask him why he tells me he was thinking somethng else and it makes me wana die im scare worry can u help me pls ''tips''

[gossamerwindweb]

I agree. Seek counseling, remember the past is the past and they DO choose to be with you, not them. Being really curious is one thing. Letting it affect your self esteem is quite another. Take a deep breath. Tell yourself that you ARE good enough. You're pretty enough. You're sweet enough, etc, etc. He wants you. YOU!!! I hope you can get over this and have non-jealous relationships!

[bArT8472]

they need to really trust each other - that thoughts should never occur then

[DanAndJenn]

But they do - even in a perfect relationship.

I too think counseling is the answer for her - someone to help her remember how great she is and that her happiness does not depend on anyone else.

[racheloagibson]

love herself and realize that whatever happens will happen, just focus on yourself and the two of u. I find that jealousy causes the problems u were trying to avoid to manifest. Not a good situation.

[GoldenVenom81]

Insecurities is a big one for sure.

She should feel good in her own skin, and believe that shes the best. She also needs to ask herself couple of questions.

[GoldenVenom81]

Continuation....

Has she always been like that in the past? Does her man give her any reason to doubt him? like not calling enough...always with his boys etc.

I def. think she has to focus on herself and stop pointing fingers when the finger should be pointed at you. I dont mean that in a bad way, but sometimes we like to blame others or find something bad to ruin something or hide something. It all boils down to YOU.

Love yourself.

[donutqueen1988]

yea but what are you going to do if he leads you on like that when he is with you..then goes back with his x

[aaronmp2003]

Great advice - there is a very real chance that this girl's issues run deeper than just some random insecurities.

The first step in clearing a problem is first RECOGNIZING the problem, so whether with the help of a counselor or not, this girls' task is to figure out why she feels the way that she feels.

[infinitystars]

I like that you two direct people to look at the real cause at what is troubling in the relation ship. People have to take responsibility for their half or else it will be an endless cycle of fault and blame.

[DanAndJenn]

Hey guys.

Leave a comment and help us help this girl out.

How can she overcome her obsession with her boyfriend/husbands ex girlfriends? What should she do?

--jennifer