Added: 6 years ago
From: crashingdoors
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  • i didnt get this until it happened to me

  • david coss is the most gorgeous jazz singer in ythe world he is in new york , u mr cross did u meet david coss

  • Be sure to watch the Open letter to Larry the Cable Guy by David Cross where Cross takes Larry to task for getting cheap laughs by using the word queer in a lockjaw joke. This joke is, of course, nothing like that.

  • Bry-Bry

  • he's not just a man.. but a man's man.

  • A lot of people commenting here have not heard all of David Cross' material. Get "Shut up you fucking baby!" and you'll hear his stance on homosexuality.

    And he's a comedian, so...yeah. It's a joke.

  • he has such a creeper pedo look. ew. it fits real life.

  • I was expecting him to order a Meat Lovers. :P

  • Dr. Tobias Funke.... The Blue Man group needs you sir !

  • This sounds more like middle-aged soccer moms than gay men, but funny nonetheless.

  • Should have read "The Man Inside Me"

    

  • he had me at pan seared pea snaps

  • Why is this exclusive to gay men?

  • @DoctorPangloss agreed it was kind of stupid

  • am i the only one expecting him to all of a sudden try to suck his own dick?

  • nothign like playing up your sub role

  • I have no money for pizza. I'm afraid I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run if you will, so I'm afraid I have something of a mess on my hands :\

  • sigh now i have to look for lockwoodisafaggot's comment

  • Would you care for a banger in the mouth?

  • @peter1592 around here we just call it a sausage.

    in the mouth.

  • Why didn't he ask for a half slice?

  • are you gonna buy or are you just curious again?

  • @hww82 I guess I BUY curious

  • douche chill!...

  • I don't make fun of gay people but I do make fun of dumb annoying people who hold up lines cause they are airheads

  • God David, you were so smart and funny... didn't help you from starring in Alvin and the Chipmunks...

  • @danerogil ha I saw an interview of his where he said that movie single-handedly paid for a house

  • @morgantown1 Where!?

  • @danerogil Not sure, can't remember if it was on here or on tv. I do remember him saying he always catches hell from fans for doing those movies. But, if it will buy a house, then fuck the people that say he "sold out." Not to say the Alvin movies were good, but if you have talent, you deserve to be rewarded/paid.

  • @morgantown1 He's still amazing in my opinion.

  • @danerogil Same.

  • @1111news who doesn't want the elderly to die sooner? They don't do anything but waste tax dollars

  • @bosscampbell Good point. I'm sure that, when you turn 60, you'll feel exactly the same way as you do now, and will voluntarily off yourself to avoid being a drain on society.

  • His face at 0:51 is SOOOOOOOOOOOOO funny

    xDDDDD

  • I was sitting here hungry as hell, not knowing what to do because the 7eleven runs are getting tiresome, saw this in the YouTube suggestions list, and ordered a PizzaHut pizza... thanks David.

  • I can't decide which of David Cross or Louis CK is a better comic.

  • @thewirah1 i think david cross is more creative, but CK makes me laugh harder most of the time 

  • How fresh is your basil?

  • he can't be gay, he's the worlds best analrapist.

  • Call me crazy but I dont find straight guys doing "gay" voices funny. Saw too many gay kids get made fun of that way as a kid

  • @Cannibalzz You're crazy.

  • analrapist analytical therapist

  • Cross's criticism was Larry's jokes were not specially written as gay humor he just used it for the extra love. "More frustrated than a queer with lockjaw on valentines day" for example. Why not hooker, girlfriend, etc? That was Cross's point. Cheap laugh.

    Cross here is doing a piece of written specifically as gay humor. Namely the stereotype. No different than cliche sport, women, race, etc stereotype material.

  • Pinenipple? lol

  • I just finished watching a video of David Cross ripping Larry the cable a guy a new asshole. One of his big reasons was he used gay humor for "cheap laughs". Now I'm watching this video.

  • @singedcarry I don't think he faulted him for using gay humor for laughs, he faulted him for being nasty and homophobic. Cross was very careful to say he did not give a fuck about being pc or sensitive.

  • @1ivingHe11 I didn't say he was giving a fuck about being pc. I said he used it for cheap laughs.

  • the guys just not funny!

  • Really? Whenever I get pizza I just say "Pepperoni please" and get the fuck out.

    I'm not sure if I should be offended by this or not.

  • @ScampyKid Believe me: it happens.

  • All the bits that start with "lover" crack me up XD

  • do you have any half slices?

  • hahah this is pretty funny cuz its true.

  • DC is one of my favorite comedians ever!

  • I'm gay and this shits funny.

  • @itchytooth yeah, and if you listen to any of the rest of the act, he's not a gay-basher either, he just plays on the stereotype in this case. it's not online, but he talks about how homosexuality CAN'T be a choice. It just can't!! I'm pretty sure the full act is on his album "Shut Up, You F*cking Baby*, although which track I'm not sure (they're really...oddly titled let's say).

  • Wow, hey, gotta point out the very restrictive set of roles which is being presented here (and, unfortunately, is all to prevalent, even in queer communities: It's rarely either TOTAL gay or TOTAL straight. It's absolutely fine to acknowledge and work with all feeling you get.

    Bisexuality/pansexuality/pomos­exuality isn't any less queer, any less legitimate, any less normal.

  • @Overcher relax , he is a comedian.

  • @TheTopher68 Well yes... I was clearly referring to the commentors...

  • @TheTopher68 Also, I strongly, strongly object to being told to relax when I am presenting a viewpoint which contends with the mainstream or challenges our oft unquestioned behaviors. It's not just you I'm saying this to, this happens to me a lot, and to me, merely highlights when people aren't willing to engage with my ideas, but are content to see me as a trouble-stirring radical. (which, in fairness, I might be. It could just be that I have little patients for conformers/non-radicals)

  • @Overcher relax

  • @jonasHM *sigh* re-read above.

    In case you don't feel up to it, I'll summarize:

    I don't want to be told to calm down and let it go, to stop taking things "too seriously" when I have thoughts on something and a viewpoint I want to express.

  • @Overcher calm down

  • @jonasHM what he/she doesnt seem to understand is that the right that allows him to voice his thoughts on something and viewpoints he wants to express, is also afforded to you...freedom of expression is for everyone...so calm the fuck down :)

  • How is this speaking about Gay men?

  • gays that actually order ;izza like David Cross' character in this sketch.....probably not gay...probably the... I went through my akward puberty stage and because media and MTV tells me gay is "cool" i jumped to the conclusion that I must be gay. I cant tell you how many gay guys brainwashed to think they were gay tell me how interested they are in being with a woman..how they watch straight porn etc

  • IT IS NOT "GAY GUYS." IT'S "GAY GUYS." SIMPLE, SIMPLE, SIMPLE ENGLISH. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS AN "ORDERING PIZZA" THAT BELONGS TO THE GAY GUY.

  • @tbilisijeff You mean, IT'S NOT "GAY GUY'S." There, FTFY.

  • oh my god I love this hahha

  • @MrMeddled - I'm gay and I thought it was funny.

  • Haven't you guys even seen Alvin and the Chipmunks?!

  • Comment removed

  • How could anyone ever think HE is gay?!? Haven't you guys ever seen Arrested Development?

  • @p0ooo0p Scary Movie too :D

  • @p0ooo0p fucking lolled like a lollipop

  • because theyre gay just for attention in the first place

  • @TRBNGR666 somebody needs to brush up on their scientific facts OR maybe just join the 21st century OR maybe just get a half a brain OR maybe just jump off a fucking hot air ballon and let your family collect on the Darwin Award. It's all the same to the rest of the planet :D

  • @TRBNGR666 Implying being gay is a choice....LOL.

  • @BroadwayBoy2007 the vast majority of the HUGE uptick in "homosexuals" are trend gays and people joining the ranks of the gay mafia in the american workplace. There are TRUly people born homosexual...but those are far and few between all the attention grabbing douche trend gays.

  • is that 'CANES place in Miami?

  • This proves David cross is an analrapist

  • I DO NOT ORDER PIZZA LIKE THAT DAVID CROSS HOW DARE YOU!!!!!!!!!!! lol

  • The guy is an actor and comedian. The fact some of you actually think he's gay just validates how talented he is.

  • Do you get it? The joke is that the stereotype of gay men is funny, and David Cross does a reasonable job of affecting that stereotype!

  • My germs!

  • @nickster699 You'd best keep your radish pickin', tractor drivin', Sister finger bangin' opinions to you 'n' yer kin folk!

  • Nickster699 and tictixtiv need to get a room followed by standing in the queue together to order pizza

  • can t stand the way he talks, so fuckin effeminate and anoying!!!! dont he realize that?

  • Apparently the concept of 'acting' is beyond you, congratulations.

  • Can't you guys just quote from the video or say he's the best.

  • its the dude that played in scooby doo fer a episode and alvin and the chipmunks

  • that's not how you spell guys

  • I fucking LOVE David Cross!!!!

  • @VoodooPolitico holy shit dude! ( or dudete ) love the rage!

  • Oh no! David Cross is making me self conscious, I totally order like that!

  • this is so fucking weak. Cross goes for the easy laugh way more than people are willing to admit,

  • @lockwoodisafaggot hows your comedy career going opie?

  • @lockwoodisafaggot if you listen to the entire act (on "Shut Up You F*cking Baby), you'll realize there is more depth, set-up and execution to this part of the act. Cross says "not all gay men have this voice...but ONLY gay men can have this voice." He has a lot of things to say that are deep on plenty of subjects, which he then sugar-coats with silly, simple, easy things and stereotypes, which makes those parts of the act even funnier.

  • @lockwoodisafaggot I actually thought this was the stupidest thing I've ever seen. He looks like a penis in the face and sounds like one as well.....trying to or not.

  • i think he wrote arrested development 

  • So fucking funny and true! Uuummm, kiwi, that's weird but ...ok.

  • This guy's stand up fuckin' kills me. Just watch "Bigger and Blackerer" and it was the craziest shit I've head in the longest time. Good laughs.

  • 77 gay people who just realized they take to long to order pizza didn't like this.

  • STOP CHANGING THE CAMERA CHRISTOPHER NOLAN I'M GOING TO THROW UP.

  • @Cmoney361 read the decription of the video u dork

  • He's in front of drums because he has bands open for him in a lot of his shows. He performs in rock venues because he hates comedy clubs.

  • Why is he always in front of drums?

  • I bet you could get aids just walking into this show.

  • Very funny. He does a flaming queen very well. LOL Even though it is continuing the stereotype that gay men are flaming and swishy. Oh well, it's STILL funny! :)

  • Context is everything.

  • Not all gay men are camp, but all camp men are gay!

  • david is channeling tobias

  • i know, according to imdb, he has a long-time female partner, but so does Kevin Spacey.

    Is David Cross gay? We all know Spacey is. 

  • Comment removed

  • "How fresh is your basil?" lol

  • he's a raging font of homophobia!

  • @GlengarryGlennBeck lmfao, so if you get made fun of, that means the person who told the joke hates you and everyone like you? so that means people cant make jokes about anybody cause politically incorrect, and they are automatically racist/uncultured/homophobic/a­nd completely intolerant?plus its easy to make gay jokes why not? suck it up and have a sense of humor asswipes.

  • @donmajikjuan "suck it up"?

    wow you're such a homophobe sis

  • To all those who think he's a homophobe, say the following words and understand...

    "David Cross is NOT homophobic." Repeat until appreciated.

    I mean, Tobias Funke? That role was filled with a whole lot of man love. P A Z

  • eh, zero. :)

  • everybody on here needs to hold on to their panties. quit arguing about venacular and grammer and enjoy it for what it is; clever comedy. a bunch of ragging english teachers on here

  • @dtp1056 u can't escape them i'm afraid, they infect youtube with their killjoy antics

  • @qinella

    "A guy guy is ordering pizza"?? Did you drop out of school in the first grade? Fuck

  • Can you please edit the title of this video to take out the apostrophe in "guys"? You don't need an apostrophe to pluralize a noun. Did you drop out of school in the second grade? Fuck.

  • @qinella

    A possessive form of a noun should always be used in front of a gerund (verb ending in "ing"). Since he is imitating one guy, the word was not meant to be pluralized, it was meant to be, and properly so, possessive.

  • @rickywilks1

    Impressive, but I'd already considered that, and there isn't an indefinite article in front of "gay". No one just says, "Gay guy does this." No one would even say, "A guy guy is ordering pizza." He's obviously trying to say, "Gay guys ordering pizza." Everyone these days misuses apostrophes and I'm on a one-man crusade to put an end to it through insult and ridicule!

  • @qinella

    LOL, I'm quite alright with that and you are not alone in your struggle. I just decided to give this one the benefit of the doubt :-)

  • If you see this bit in context, you see that Cross is not homophobic but rather defending gay people against those who say its a choice and talking about how it's genetic before transitioning into this bit which jokes about stereotypes but isn't hateful in the least. look up 'david cross on mormonism' to see him slamming mormons for prop 8 and its discriminatory policies.

  • He's not even making fun of just gay men, it's a joke about what demographics buy or order, and he places it in an awkward context. Who cares if he said "certain gay men" he doesn't need to sugar coat a joke for it to obviously not literally occur in a specific context in all instances of homosexuals ordering pizza.

  • David Cross is awesome, I never knew until today

  • I swear to God, this is one of the DUMBEST Youtube fights I've ever heard. 

    No offense guys just be friends. You gave me a pretty good laugh though, thanks.

  • shut the hell upppp you right sided pricks. Light up and wake up for christ sakes. You don't like David Cross because his comedy calls out all of the bullshit in this world that you guys are trying to conserve...There is no way he is pretentious...If you know anything about him and his life, he is completely the opposite... So stop talking crap about a guy that calls it the way it is

  • Thats exactly how gay guys order.

  • bri bri do you want sun dolops?? hahaha

  • The observation may be apt, but it really isn't all that funny.

    And it runs on a bit longish...

  • I love these debates. Lets attack the comedians were too dumb to understand there jokes! David cross is a fuckin american hero. Educate yourself and youl like this comedy

  • Not one of his best but I love David Cross. This bit is done in jest and it's meant as light hearted. Watch his other stuff first before getting your underwear in a twist. Sometimes things are just jokes, especially when they're being told by someone who is a proponent for equality.

  • @MakeMeBadAnubis How fresh is your Basil? HAHA no but like most gay people are very particular about food. Why do you think San Francisco has such great food. I mean im gunna have to agree with the other guy and say that your being over sensitive.

  • @MakeMeBadAnubis: Notice, he says "certain gay men", not "gay men" in general? If you knew anything about David Cross, you'd know he isn't a homophobe or anti-gay--he's actually quite liberal and supportive of minority issues. Likewise, if you think his audience is stupid enough to actually think that /that's/ how gay people act... then you're really just looking too deep into things.

  • That is how they act here in New York.

    Of course, David Cross can get away with a bit like this because he's "quite liberal and supportive of minority issues" as you point out. But the real reason is he's a Manhattan hipster/trust fund kid and universally adored by the people who usually get outraged when the "wrong" person makes the same observations.

    It's similar to how black comedians can get away with racist jokes, but white comedians can not.

    Problem is, this isn't good comedy.

  • @crashingdoors yeah him being so liberal is one of the things i don't like about him

  • @KingAshcroft Same, I'm a fan on his past roles, once he leaves the screen he acts very much like a pretentious snob. Seems to enjoy talking down to people.

  • @xsiled

    wtf are you talking about? how the fuck do you know how he acts in person? anyone who gets his humor would know that that's bullshit.

  • @KingAshcroft Stop being such a massive pussy. Seriously you stupid cunt.

  • @kicktotheballs What the fuck are you talking about? is it me saying i prefer David cross as a comedian, instead of hearing him talk about universal health care, or peta, i just want him to tell some jokes, if i wanted a liberal politician i would just watch one of the thousands of Obama speeches, so fuck you

  • @KingAshcroft IM FUCKING WITH YOU

  • @kicktotheballs this is what i hate about youtube, whenever someone seems like a douche, they claim they're joking, this guy might not be lying, but this has happened multiple times, i give a sensible argument that makes the other guy look like a douche, then the douche claims to be joking, and i seem a little like a douche,

  • @KingAshcroft JUST THE FUCK UP. NOBODY FUCKING LIKES YOU. EVEN YOUR OWN PARENTS HATE YOUR GUTS.

  • @kicktotheballs Well your parents must not have cared very much for, considering they didn't even bother to raise you right, because you're no saying very nice things!

  • @KingAshcroft Now you're just making me feel bad

  • @kicktotheballs Well you only feel internet bad, and that's like having a morbidly obese man call you fat

  • @KingAshcroft You're a fatty huh? WHY DON"T SUCK DOWN ON ANOTHER PIECE OF PIE.

    HOW'S THE VIEW FROM SUGAR HEAVEN BITCH?

  • @kicktotheballs When the hell did i say that happened to me? i was just using a very hypocritical metaphor, moron.

  • @KingAshcroft I don't know if you've figured this out yet but I'm just throwing stuff out there to make fun of you. It doesn't matter what you may have said because all I'm trying to do is make you look stupid.

    So there fatty. Try not cry in your ice cream okay?

  • @kicktotheballs You're the one who's looking stupid jack-ass

  • @KingAshcroft Why are you such a hateful person?

  • @kicktotheballs Because I'm a republican, it comes with the territory

  • @KingAshcroft Well that makes sense. I hope I didn't take away time from your baby eating and seal clubbing.

  • @kicktotheballs Don't worry i only eat babies and club baby seals on Thursdays

  • @crashingdoors fuck you, im gay

  • @superguy123ify not that isn't very lady-like

  • @crashingdoors

    No, it's not that, I just don't think it's that creative or funny. Gay men talk with a lisp, wow, hilarious! Right. I'm not saying he's a homophobe, but if you're gonna play off a stereotype...at least balance it out or something? Meh, I guess I'm just a lil tired of always seeing that considering it reflects me and the gay men I know zero percent. That everpresent characterisation is because of ish like this, so yeah, I guess I'm just not amused.

  • @crashingdoors GAYS = FAGGOOTS

  • @crashingdoors I think he justs wants people to be embarassed about taking too fucking long ordering their fucking pizza

  • @crashingdoors I Agree 100 % And If He Was Homophobic Why Would He Play A Gay Man On "Aressted Development"

  • @tictixtiv cant u tell he s the gayest man on earth simply from his mannerisms and the way he talks???

  • @nickster699 No He Isn't Gay And You Shouldent Determine Someones Sexuality Just Based Off Of Their Manerisms Or The Way He Talks He Is Dating Actress Amber Tamblyn.

  • @tictixtiv lol.. as if it meant anything! Many of their type fool themselves into being like everyone else cause they dont accept their condition. Nothin wrong if thats who u are... just saying he should come out of the closet. u cant act and sound so effeminate and not be a queer!!!!

  • @nickster699 Well I Think David Cross Is An Honest Guy And Wouldent Be Afraid To Come Out As A Homosexual If He Was Gay But I Dont Know Where You Get The Idea That Men That Talk Feminine Are Gay Just Watch Some Of His Other Comedy Which Is Alot More Hederosexual Then This One

  • @nickster699

    It's an act, dude. He doesn't normally sound like that. He's intentionally mimicking stereotypical effiminate gay behavior. You sound like you have a problem with gay people anyway the way you say "many of their type" and "...can't...not be a queer...". No, you're probably just one of those morons that "don't have any problem with queers" just "think men ought to be men and women be women". You're a homophobe, obviously.