Ahoy, Pete the Pirate, after makin' a right fine confession last year, has convinced one of his mateys to get baptized. Jack the Pirate: Ahoy, me Father. I be wantin' to accept Jesus Christ as me Lord and Savior. Fr. Yarg: Arrrr, gangway, mateys! Bless the Lord! Ye be readin' the Prodigal Son story from Sunday past, have ye, Bucko?
Jack: Ay, I have now. I've been plundering the booty meself for many a year, and it be time to keelhaul me scurvy soul. I be willin', Father. Make me climb the mizzenmast, drink bilge water, give up the grog, I am ready. Father: Right now, me son. All ye have to do is walk the plank. Jack: eh now?
Father: Walking the plank, son. Full immersion to cleanse the soul. Jack: Blimey, what kind of scallywag are ye? The last hand to walk it sank like a double anchor! Father: Ye need to die to living the account and rise to life in Christ, me son. Jack: Ye squiffy, scurvy landlubber of a bilge rat! When ye be dead, ye be dead, not alive! I'd like to see ye do it! Father: Ay, but I have now. Jack: eh?
Father: Trust in God, Jack. Ye life eternal is worth more than all yer doubloons. And hell is far worse than the hulks. Jack: Arrrrr. Ye take a cutlass to me where I live, me Father. But what will I do? All I know is the lasses, the grog, and the sea. Father: Well now, Peter was a fisherman. Ye don't have to give up the sea...just belay the sin, laddie. Jack: Arg. (silence) Ay, I give me life to Christ. On the bloody plank, so be it. (jumps)
Father: I baptize ye in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit! Jack: (sputtering and treading water) Ay, Father, thank ye. Weigh anchor, mateys! We be hornswagglin' Satan fer now on! Yo ho ho!
Father: I baptize ye in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit! Jack: (sputtering and treading water) Ay, Father, thank ye. Weigh anchor, mateys! We be hornswagglin' Satan fer now on! Yo ho ho!
Aye, this be the funniest thing me ev'r read. A pirate goes into a confessional - Pete the Pirate: Ahoy, forgive me, Father, for I have been a bleedin' bilge rat. Aye, it's been 10 years now since me last confession. Priest: Go on, me scurvy dog. Pete: Well, Father, I've been pillagin' ships and stealin' gold me whole adult life, and am well acquainted with the grog. Priest: Go on now.
Pete: And Father, the wenches...let's say thar hast been many a lass caboodlin' in the anchorhold outside of the weddin' march. Priest: Blimey, me son! Ye should be walkin' the plank for that one. Pete: Aye, tis a sad situation....so here it be: Aye, me God, I am heart'ly sorry fur havin' offended ye, and I detest me sins-- b'cos I fear losin' me Heaven, an' don't want to be marooned in Hell-- but most of all they offend ye, me God,
Ye who are a right fine God, and deservin' of all the doubloons I could give ye and then more. Aye, so I smartly resolve, wit' the help of your grace, to heave to my sins, to keelhaul my soul, an' to make right me scurvy life. Amen. Priest: Me son, go in peace. Swab yer poopdeck for yer penance and sin no more. Pete: Thank ye, Father. (exiting confessional: "Yo ho ho...God is a right merciful laddie.")
Arr, tis a fine video, but the introduction be a bit lengthy
CptnChan 5 months ago
Arrghhh excellent me mateys !,,,,, ahoy from Captain Dirt Tooth!,,, sparks Nevada
maryday007 5 months ago
Ahoy, Pete the Pirate, after makin' a right fine confession last year, has convinced one of his mateys to get baptized. Jack the Pirate: Ahoy, me Father. I be wantin' to accept Jesus Christ as me Lord and Savior. Fr. Yarg: Arrrr, gangway, mateys! Bless the Lord! Ye be readin' the Prodigal Son story from Sunday past, have ye, Bucko?
mskitty12311 5 months ago
Jack: Ay, I have now. I've been plundering the booty meself for many a year, and it be time to keelhaul me scurvy soul. I be willin', Father. Make me climb the mizzenmast, drink bilge water, give up the grog, I am ready. Father: Right now, me son. All ye have to do is walk the plank. Jack: eh now?
mskitty12311 5 months ago
Father: Walking the plank, son. Full immersion to cleanse the soul. Jack: Blimey, what kind of scallywag are ye? The last hand to walk it sank like a double anchor! Father: Ye need to die to living the account and rise to life in Christ, me son. Jack: Ye squiffy, scurvy landlubber of a bilge rat! When ye be dead, ye be dead, not alive! I'd like to see ye do it! Father: Ay, but I have now. Jack: eh?
mskitty12311 5 months ago
Father: Trust in God, Jack. Ye life eternal is worth more than all yer doubloons. And hell is far worse than the hulks. Jack: Arrrrr. Ye take a cutlass to me where I live, me Father. But what will I do? All I know is the lasses, the grog, and the sea. Father: Well now, Peter was a fisherman. Ye don't have to give up the sea...just belay the sin, laddie. Jack: Arg. (silence) Ay, I give me life to Christ. On the bloody plank, so be it. (jumps)
mskitty12311 5 months ago
Father: I baptize ye in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit! Jack: (sputtering and treading water) Ay, Father, thank ye. Weigh anchor, mateys! We be hornswagglin' Satan fer now on! Yo ho ho!
mskitty12311 5 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
Father: I baptize ye in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit! Jack: (sputtering and treading water) Ay, Father, thank ye. Weigh anchor, mateys! We be hornswagglin' Satan fer now on! Yo ho ho!
mskitty12311 5 months ago
Aye, this be the funniest thing me ev'r read. A pirate goes into a confessional - Pete the Pirate: Ahoy, forgive me, Father, for I have been a bleedin' bilge rat. Aye, it's been 10 years now since me last confession. Priest: Go on, me scurvy dog. Pete: Well, Father, I've been pillagin' ships and stealin' gold me whole adult life, and am well acquainted with the grog. Priest: Go on now.
mskitty12311 5 months ago
Pete: And Father, the wenches...let's say thar hast been many a lass caboodlin' in the anchorhold outside of the weddin' march. Priest: Blimey, me son! Ye should be walkin' the plank for that one. Pete: Aye, tis a sad situation....so here it be: Aye, me God, I am heart'ly sorry fur havin' offended ye, and I detest me sins-- b'cos I fear losin' me Heaven, an' don't want to be marooned in Hell-- but most of all they offend ye, me God,
mskitty12311 5 months ago
Ye who are a right fine God, and deservin' of all the doubloons I could give ye and then more. Aye, so I smartly resolve, wit' the help of your grace, to heave to my sins, to keelhaul my soul, an' to make right me scurvy life. Amen. Priest: Me son, go in peace. Swab yer poopdeck for yer penance and sin no more. Pete: Thank ye, Father. (exiting confessional: "Yo ho ho...God is a right merciful laddie.")
mskitty12311 5 months ago
ironiccatholic[dot]com/2006/09/talk-like-pirate-day-in-confessional.html
mskitty12311 5 months ago
lollll Yarrgh, Avast, ye scurvy dogs! me found anoth'r blasted pirate site. Plunder it here:
piratejokes[dot]net/
mskitty12311 5 months ago