Steve Pavlina's Post on Non-Monogamous Relationships

[metalhead5816]

Swinging is as close as i will ever get to Polyamory and I find it to be an acceptable thing based on the fact that with swinging everyone has consented fully to it and noone will be left out. With Polyamory it's very likely that someone will be left alone and have jealous feelings associated with that and also the possibility for strong emotional attachment with multiple people would be a very difficult thing to deal with.

[oceanz4]

Oh, a new word in my vocabulary for cheating or adultery.

[NoFootballTeam]

@oceanz4 a very true statement

[bokajon]

If you love yourself enough then you have zero reason for being jealous.

[MariSama4444]

Apparently most people think multi-partner relationships are an excuse for one partner to be a slut. What they dont think about is perhaps that both partners in a relationship may wish to pursue another person together, or that their intense trust for eachother doesnt allow room for distrust, lying or jealousy that is often fostered in monogomous relationships that place expectations on people. Monogomy breeds distrust, lies, dissapointment and grief because it limits truthful communication.

[FluffyDivine]

I myself personally have always felt polygamous, in a sexual casual sense, the partners I've been with were always monogamous, and whilst I've never cheated or thought of the act, I've been cheated on twice, mostly because of their jealousy or insecurity. If you have one emotional partner and its a healthy honest open passionate relationship, polygamy shouldn't effect that. Some people do abuse it though and just seem to use people though I think that risk runs with monogamy as well

[nickmonst3r]

i woulsnft be as jelous as sad cause i wud think tht im not ass good as the other person

[nickmonst3r]

well like it couldkinda make u sad:(

[al0102030405]

Steve Plavina is a self aggrandizing fuck.

[MrOnairos]

very interesting

[MyTubeSwdw]

I would like to point out that not once did Steve Pavlina state that having multiple partners is a good idea. He DID implie that he PERSONALLY felt that having multiple intimate relationships was what he felt was right for HIM. I like this video by the way man. Very well articulated and honest.

[wakingwallaby]

Of course, it's another topic/issue entirely when Jealousy is completely unfounded ( this is not my point ) . But it has its place, and its place is VALID. Just as it is valid to react with anger to any misdeed done to you.

[wakingwallaby]

It enrages me when people think we need to strip "jealousy" from our unevolved spiritual husks... Give me a break! If someone wrongs the sanctity of commitment, JEALOUSY arises, just as if someone steals your car, ANGER arises,if someone hurts you,the desire for vengeance arises.By negating the validity of jealousy as an emotion we are in essence retarding our most basic instincts.Jealousy is healthy.Being skeptical is healthy.Not swallowing every scrap of BS thrown in your direction is healthy!

[wakingwallaby]

We are biologically wired to be monogamous.If everyone went around f~ing each others wives and husbands,who would take care of the children?What "responsibility"would any "father"have for his young?we can't pretend as if emotions would not be taken into account bc jealousy is not some abstract abnormal entity

bec.ucla.edu/papers/Harris_4-2­6-04.pdf Jealousy is not some crude/unfortunate consequence of forced social norms but a very real emotion which is evolutionarily adaptive.

[wakingwallaby]

@duck24x Word.

[patroller4u]

Polyamorous relationships are good for people who have problems with emotional, sexual commit ment to only one person, then they disguise their own failures throwing on others their "theories" about "spiritual enlightment", blah blah blah by having many sexual partners: lame excuses to be sluts, or men-whores, that's all

[SquelchyPenguin]

@patroller4u This might be true in your account, but not every account. I'm in a polyamorous relationship. It's not an excuse, it's just an openness to the idea of experiencing a normal biological function with more then one person. Believe it or not, there are some people who have these kinds of relationships that prefer to get to know any others they bring in before they actually act on anything. I've slept with three people in my life, total.

[MrFoshobro]

I have a slight problem digesting (mentally) the idea of a person, say Mr. Pavlina, who begins to justify not being able to hold on to a successful marriage and explains his divoced life with his pretty persuasive theory. I guess what i'm saying is that if Pavliva admitted to his failure (again, maybe he did this I do not know) I would be more at ease with his thoery.

[duck24x]

A vegan diet has absolutely NOTHING whatsoeve to do with "spirituality" or any kind of "higher awareness" crap. The main reason one should go vegan (as I have since 1984) is to stop needlessly torturing & murdering animals for meat, the same way one should stop driving through red lights when one wants to because not doing so prevents accidents from happening. Pure utilitarianism.

Pavlina = bullshit artist. Whatever money he "made" he inherited.

[JohnnyJamesGang]

The Angry Anarchist puts Steve Pavlina in his place.

AngryAnarchist . Com

[1234Colt]

@JohnnyJamesGang

the angry anarchist is just some kid tryna get attention. Anyone who reads steves articles and really sees the value he provides will laugh about that angry dude. Whys he angry anyway? lol

[Uffable]

what are you wearing?

[JeniferSheppard]

I dig the sound of this 'polyamoury'

I sometimes wonder about the nature of human beings and where we are headed. I realize that many people reject this view but I do wonder if maybe monogamy is just the 'norm' and it's not actually natural... I wonder.

:)

[TeamGrundle]

sounds like old greg

[pictishking]

Well said !

may i add that from my perspective the social conventions and conditioning are actually shifting from a monogamous to a multiple partner norm quite intentionally. for reasons you may guess and others unseen.

[DrIndubitably]

I listened to a Podcast with Steve and his "woman" talking. She is definitely just using him and messing around. So he rationalizes it and tries to use it for personal development. He totally is jealous.

[fallcrysilk]

He acts like love isn't attachment.Like it's not caring if people are in your life or not,that IS NOT love,it's indifference.That is a lonely path indeed.And i think his marriage is failing just so he can figure that out for himself.I believe he's ideals will change once he does!!!!

[fallcrysilk]

I think he almost has his wife talked into it,that it's "good"and somehow "will benefit his spiritual revolution""when really it gets no deeper than the fact he wishes to stick his dick in some other wet hole.

[fallcrysilk]

I fail to see how Steve Pavlina thinks he's going to establish deep intimate realationships with others and yet remain unattached or expect them to remain unattached to him.He's asking for drama.Love IS attachment.Anything else is a sociopathic excercise.

[Gregorz]

He never said that he was going to be unattached to others. He explicitly said that to him, sex without love isn't worthwhile. It seems like you're still approaching this from the perspective of a monogamous relationship - the 'extra' relationships aren't just affairs, the idea is that you can love more than one person at the same time. Imagine if, instead of becoming jealous for your partner if they loved someone else, you felt glad for them?

[fallcrysilk]

I don't think most people have it in them to be able to share someone's love in that way.I know all that would make me feel is lonely,unloved,and used.Hah,and i'd have no interest in attempting to feel otherwise.

[fallcrysilk]

yeah i can't imagine that

[Gregorz]

I'd agree, most people couldn't do it. I mean, this is a world where a lot of people still get jealous to see their partners talking to other people of the opposite gender. I think that's going to change, though, as people get more conscious.

[fallcrysilk]

No,I'm not talking about psycho jealousy.Psycho jealousy is where people won't even let their dude/girl talk to or hug other people.Normal jealousy is you're in love and your dude/girl is enticing it within you by spending too much time with a member of the oppositte sex,flirting openly in front of you,or making you feel worthless by having sex with other people

[dimitritsat1]

I like Steve's business philosophies but as a Christian I completely disagree and am on the other side of the fence with his views on polyamory. Being on a raw diet is a two edged sword, you aquire a higher awareness and must be careful spiritually.

"Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ." 2 Corinthians 10:5

[4moonbow]

Relationships of any type, Mother-Father, Spouse, Kids, Friends, etc. Is know who you are and be completely yourself. Love breeds and feeds Love and allows you to be you and them to be them, no matter what. No one should change for another. If something feels off then it is, get out of it. Trust and become your own best friend and all will fall into place naturally.

Pavlina has great reads

[ugiswrong]

Steve's gonna have something deeper within him once he has strap-on sex with a raw vegan who rides his well-developed ass with some zucchini.

[persona19]

This dude looks like he has lots of hawt nerd secks.

[defeata]

I really do think it is socialization, in totality.

All one needs do is look at some of the most "primitive" tribes left in the world, and others that have existed, it works just fine.

Monogamy is just not biologically natural to humans, and jealousy etc. are the results of fear of lack of love which is instilled very very early in us. It just doesn't work, and many societies have made polyamory work very well.

[Loreleila]

Some polyamorous relationships involve all parties living together, seeming at least to benefit all. I have met others who seem happy with it. It's not something I would choose, and I think it can be damaging for those who choose it out of a feeling it might give them more yet have not taken into consideration the pain or lack of depth that may take place as a result. It's hard enough to find true intimacy in a one to one, which seems to me the point of any real relationship. Is trust possible?

[odin422]

Going to happen MORE and MORE now that people are getting poorer.