Keep your head up. Struggling with your sexuality can be one of the most frustrating, difficult things to go through. Especially when you don't always have the support of others. Remember that accepting yourself and believing who you are is what comes first, and is most important.
It is good to see you again Martin. I am catching up on my subscriptions. You seem to be well and taking care of yourself. You are looking good too. You will deal with coming out as you see fit Martin.
I agree with you Martin. Sometimes it matters and sometimes it doesn't. It's always up to you in the end. A lot of us are in the same boat as you (me included). What you're experiencing is very common. I wish we didnt have to think about these issues, but until that day we just gotta live on.
Hi Martin, I just posted a video response to this of a video I made a few months ago. I can understand your struggle and the coming to terms with what it means to be Bi or gay. Anyway, I just wanted to share my thoughts with you cos they might be useful to you (the video is called bisexuality on my own personal channel if it doesn't come up as a video response). Cheers, Maurice
Hey Martin, I totaly understand where you're coming coming from too. For the most part I too consider myself Bi, but there are times when I'm not totaly sure either and sometimes it frustrates me and it's part of the reason why I haven't told anyone yet either. But like others have said we tend to be too obssessd with labeling ourselves. Gay, bi or whatever, it doesn't really matter as long as we are comfortable and ready.
I agree with the advice that labels don't really matter. You are who you are and ultimately what matters is whether or not you are happy.
I do agree with livinglux with regards to coming out. There is something to be said for honestly sitting your parents down and telling them how you feel. It's really liberating, and definitely makes for a stronger more open relationship. My mom told me she knew, but was glad I told her.
I was about 18 when I finally became totally comfortable with being gay. It was right after I had sex with a woman and I told myself "this is just NOT for me at all." I didn't feel comfortable and most of all I didnt feel that I was being me. All the guys Ive been with (even the bad ones) felt just right. Even if the out come wasnt great..the act of sex and closeness of being with a guy was totally right for me. I don't know how straight guys do it..God Bless 'em, but I couldn't.
I will venture to disagree with the others who have posted below. My guess is that coming out to your mom would allow you to have a much closer and more honest relationship with her. And if you are uncomfortable defining yourself as this or that, fine. Sexuality is a big grey area. Share your uncertainty or ambiguity with her. You don't need to wrestle with this subject alone. In the long run, you are much less likely to regret telling her than not letting her know who you are.
Don't be so sure. Some parents can be pretty stuck up when it comes to this subject. When I told my mom, she just brushed it off and had the nerve to tell me that I couldn't know that I was gay, since I'd never had a girlfriend. I have not bothered with any further coming out attempts to her or the rest of my family since then and quite frankly, I see no need to do so anyway as long as I'm single.
That said, maybe I've got the unfortunate exception to everybody's open and accepting parents. ;)
Sorry about your situation. Sure, there are plenty of cases when coming out worsens your relationship with your parents. My advice in this case was based on what we know about Martin's mother, what we've seen of her and what he's said about her. I didn't make that clear in my comment, but that's where I was coming from.
However, as you age and become independent, I think there's a lot to be said for coming out to your family, even when they have a strong negative reaction.
know what u mean.I'm bi too I took it 1 situation at a time and saw how people react. I never said anything re: my sexuality unless asked. I was amazed at how many girls tried to 'reform' me! If I wasn't bi I might have taken offence, but since i was i took advantage(sometimes).
Hey Martin, I think I know how your feeling. You see people on YT who are very open with thier parents on the subject of sexuality, and it makes you wonder how you should be. I think all people are different. Some people never talk sexuality with thier parents, some do and both ways are ok. Every household is different. Someday the subject may come up and a new "normal" may be established then..Know what I mean? I say one day at a time and dont stress this subject.
If the subject is weighing heavy on you, then by all means approach it but only if you want to or you feel the need to. I'm terrible at watching video's and then comparing myself, and then feeling inadequate. I dont cut myself much slack at all. To me though, your life seems great! There never was a coming out for me BTW until I was an adult, over 30, When I was your age, my parents would have taken it very badly but they grew and matured in thier old age and the right time came around..:)
Love your honesty. I totally know the whole 'awkwardness' with parents thing. I dreaed telling them about my sexuality, but it's fine now.
I love to sing, but when they are in the house, I can't sing with the same passion. Embarassment still plays a big part in my life...i think i was quite ashamed of being gay.
just be you ! no need to place labels, when I was coming out it was easier to say I was Bi even tho I knew I was gay. It's seems to be more accepted in society too. btw just watched Beautiful Thing from your suggestion and it was a sweet story, did they show it on regular tv ? props if they did. If they showed that here in the states people would shit ! lol
Don't have to come out, or some don't feel the need cause like you said some just pick it up, mothers tend to know :) I don't care for twilight, not good like true blood etc. if jacob was paired with a guy I can see myself seeing the film too.
Keep your head up. Struggling with your sexuality can be one of the most frustrating, difficult things to go through. Especially when you don't always have the support of others. Remember that accepting yourself and believing who you are is what comes first, and is most important.
The1ScottSpot 2 years ago
can you translate 5:01-5:05
Puckle74 2 years ago
It is good to see you again Martin. I am catching up on my subscriptions. You seem to be well and taking care of yourself. You are looking good too. You will deal with coming out as you see fit Martin.
OLDS98 2 years ago
Thanks you, thank you, thank you! It's so nice to actually hear your great accent again, and to be able to hear what you're talking about. -Brian-
bgwillys 2 years ago
Martin, how much longer until the braces come off? You've got a great smile with them and I'm eager to see you smile without them.
alaninnh 2 years ago
@alaninnh should be my next appointment, 22nd december :)
martinw93 2 years ago
-[ HUG ]- :]
jon8994a 2 years ago
I agree with you Martin. Sometimes it matters and sometimes it doesn't. It's always up to you in the end. A lot of us are in the same boat as you (me included). What you're experiencing is very common. I wish we didnt have to think about these issues, but until that day we just gotta live on.
-Justin
xsonarisx 2 years ago
Hi Martin, I just posted a video response to this of a video I made a few months ago. I can understand your struggle and the coming to terms with what it means to be Bi or gay. Anyway, I just wanted to share my thoughts with you cos they might be useful to you (the video is called bisexuality on my own personal channel if it doesn't come up as a video response). Cheers, Maurice
mushacles 2 years ago
You keep saying Twilight, when that came out last year ahaha. New Moon is the new one.
edgehaedjr 2 years ago
Hey Martin, I totaly understand where you're coming coming from too. For the most part I too consider myself Bi, but there are times when I'm not totaly sure either and sometimes it frustrates me and it's part of the reason why I haven't told anyone yet either. But like others have said we tend to be too obssessd with labeling ourselves. Gay, bi or whatever, it doesn't really matter as long as we are comfortable and ready.
LyonHart8 2 years ago
I agree, Edward and Jacob should've been gay.
Nuclear720 2 years ago 2
I agree with the advice that labels don't really matter. You are who you are and ultimately what matters is whether or not you are happy.
I do agree with livinglux with regards to coming out. There is something to be said for honestly sitting your parents down and telling them how you feel. It's really liberating, and definitely makes for a stronger more open relationship. My mom told me she knew, but was glad I told her.
In the end, do what's best for you.
gordonbonnar 2 years ago
I feel like im in the same exact position as you with my sexuality, it was cool to hear that from someone else. Thanks for this!
spence71989 2 years ago
Shut up
xmakemebad35 2 years ago
I was about 18 when I finally became totally comfortable with being gay. It was right after I had sex with a woman and I told myself "this is just NOT for me at all." I didn't feel comfortable and most of all I didnt feel that I was being me. All the guys Ive been with (even the bad ones) felt just right. Even if the out come wasnt great..the act of sex and closeness of being with a guy was totally right for me. I don't know how straight guys do it..God Bless 'em, but I couldn't.
brentbraniff 2 years ago
Totally agree. Very well put.
mushacles 2 years ago
I will venture to disagree with the others who have posted below. My guess is that coming out to your mom would allow you to have a much closer and more honest relationship with her. And if you are uncomfortable defining yourself as this or that, fine. Sexuality is a big grey area. Share your uncertainty or ambiguity with her. You don't need to wrestle with this subject alone. In the long run, you are much less likely to regret telling her than not letting her know who you are.
livinginlux 2 years ago
Don't be so sure. Some parents can be pretty stuck up when it comes to this subject. When I told my mom, she just brushed it off and had the nerve to tell me that I couldn't know that I was gay, since I'd never had a girlfriend. I have not bothered with any further coming out attempts to her or the rest of my family since then and quite frankly, I see no need to do so anyway as long as I'm single.
That said, maybe I've got the unfortunate exception to everybody's open and accepting parents. ;)
SteltekOne 2 years ago
Sorry about your situation. Sure, there are plenty of cases when coming out worsens your relationship with your parents. My advice in this case was based on what we know about Martin's mother, what we've seen of her and what he's said about her. I didn't make that clear in my comment, but that's where I was coming from.
However, as you age and become independent, I think there's a lot to be said for coming out to your family, even when they have a strong negative reaction.
livinginlux 2 years ago
Have fun with Eclipse in 6 or 7 months. ;D
Davidace327 2 years ago
know what u mean.I'm bi too I took it 1 situation at a time and saw how people react. I never said anything re: my sexuality unless asked. I was amazed at how many girls tried to 'reform' me! If I wasn't bi I might have taken offence, but since i was i took advantage(sometimes).
meitzjoei 2 years ago
Hey Martin, I think I know how your feeling. You see people on YT who are very open with thier parents on the subject of sexuality, and it makes you wonder how you should be. I think all people are different. Some people never talk sexuality with thier parents, some do and both ways are ok. Every household is different. Someday the subject may come up and a new "normal" may be established then..Know what I mean? I say one day at a time and dont stress this subject.
pvampire 2 years ago 3
If the subject is weighing heavy on you, then by all means approach it but only if you want to or you feel the need to. I'm terrible at watching video's and then comparing myself, and then feeling inadequate. I dont cut myself much slack at all. To me though, your life seems great! There never was a coming out for me BTW until I was an adult, over 30, When I was your age, my parents would have taken it very badly but they grew and matured in thier old age and the right time came around..:)
pvampire 2 years ago 3
i agree with you 100% martin
there never was a "coming out" for me
i think i even said that on deihl's last vid
it was just a NON-event, i told my parents i was going on a date with a guy and that was it.. got a puzzled look but nothing more
then pop walked in on me, that kinda confirmed it.. but BIG DEAL!
don't sweat labels
and ya can't think about whether or not what you're doing is good for a "community"
keep doing what feels right for you man!
if anything we're stronger as INDIVIDUALS!
<3
HypnosReveur 2 years ago
and oh yeah-
hey kerr!
if you see this comment-
i KNOW you really went into new moon!
didn't ya?
XD
<3
HypnosReveur 2 years ago
Love your honesty. I totally know the whole 'awkwardness' with parents thing. I dreaed telling them about my sexuality, but it's fine now.
I love to sing, but when they are in the house, I can't sing with the same passion. Embarassment still plays a big part in my life...i think i was quite ashamed of being gay.
Olafandlafandlaf 2 years ago
just be you ! no need to place labels, when I was coming out it was easier to say I was Bi even tho I knew I was gay. It's seems to be more accepted in society too. btw just watched Beautiful Thing from your suggestion and it was a sweet story, did they show it on regular tv ? props if they did. If they showed that here in the states people would shit ! lol
take care Martin !
siliconetoast 2 years ago
Beautiful thing is my favorite movie! :)
pvampire 2 years ago
Don't have to come out, or some don't feel the need cause like you said some just pick it up, mothers tend to know :) I don't care for twilight, not good like true blood etc. if jacob was paired with a guy I can see myself seeing the film too.
Drewbie85 2 years ago