Hilarious QI moment - Giant Tortoises

[babyyouvebeenhad]

You know civilisation has reached its nadir when there's a 'I had intercourse with your mother' argument in the comments section on a QI video. Elsewhere on youtube, maybe, but QI? Really?

[hornetgags]

LOL, yeah ok mate.

[5Delano]

"They were SO edible, none of them made it to London... They couldn't stop eating them" - Do potato chips have latin names then?

[kozmon0t]

I've seen a few of these, and verified all these "facts," and every one of them has turned out full of shit so far.

The truth is, giant tortoises were discovered long before Linnaeus lived. They didn't use "latin names" because they weren't in use yet. Once they were, giant tortoises had Linnaean names within about 30 years.

You Britons should demand better quality from your quiz shows, it makes you look bad when the answers are all wrong.

[MLangan86]

@kozmon0t I was starting to show some interest in your comment until you said "you Britons" I then thought "what a racist ignoramous" and went on my merry way.

[kozmon0t]

@MLangan86 You think Britons are a race, and call me ignorant?

[Dionysus187]

@kozmon0t Did it ever occur to you that they had trouble naming it AFTER the introduction of the binomial nomenclature because of people improperly transporting them and cited reports of them tasting good made before Linnaeus as to why they couldn't?

[kozmon0t]

@Dionysus187 the claim on the show was they couldn't give them Linnaean names for 300 years for that reason.

On the other hand, turns out Indian and Galapagos tortoises were initially given the same name, Testudo indica, on the belief that sailors had transported them between those locations, which turned out to be false. So the only difficulty wasn't from problems transporting them, but from believing they'd been transported at all.

So this show is WAAAY off.

[hornetgags]

@kozmon0t Wow I'll bet you're great fun at parties...

[kozmon0t]

@hornetgags your mom said I was fun

[hornetgags]

@kozmon0t Yeah she said 2 inches never made her laugh so much.

[kozmon0t]

@hornetgags so you admit I did your mom. And she meant 2 inches thick.

[Hoffmanniac]

Jo Brand is the worst. Everyone else is having a good time with the absurdity of the facts, and she just sits back and waits for one of her go-to punchlines. Even non-comedians like Brian Cox are more fun because they involve themselves in the discourse. Rich Hall sometimes does the same thing, but his one-liners are usually a lot funnier and less cliched than Jo's. Great clip, otherwise!

[NeiooDotCom]

@Hoffmanniac Don't get me wrong, i've seen Jo Brand live and she is hilarious. But I do agree with you, her comedic style just doesn't fit quiz shows..

[ratastewie91]

Jo Brand at the end with a generic fat joke. Yawn.

[PassTheMarmalade1957]

@MJFAN666 Yeah, it's pretty much been disproven. Or if he was, it was only very late on in his life when he was a total hypochondriac. Poor, unlucky tortoises... ;)

[Cliffjumper24]

Reminds me of a joke:

Bloke goes to a funfar, has a go on some rides and get a bit bored so stop by a stall to shoot targets.

Pays his money and shoots down the targets.

Stall owner says "Congratilations you've won a prize, what would you like?"

Man points to a tortoise and goes of happy.

An hour later he comes back, pays his money, shoots down the targets.

"Congratilations you've won a prize, what would you like?"

"I'll have enother one of those crispy sandwiches please!"

[baldurus1]

Sean, shut the fuck up when in the presence of a genius. Or two geniuses as a matter of fact.

[eddieboi14390]

@baldurus1 Sean is a genius too

[PassTheMarmalade1957]

@MJFAN666 The irony is that Darwin is sometimes said to have been a vegetarian....

[MJFAN666]

@PassTheMarmalade1957 loll, I doubt the accuracy of that claim!!!

[MJFAN666]

THEY SHOULD HAVE SENT VEGETARIANS!!!

[MartaHorrorPcturShow]

@MJFAN666 Thats just genious xDD

[MJFAN666]

@MartaHorrorPcturShow I am one so wasn't hard to realise. lol, I would never eat a tortoise!

[HalfLifePlayer]

@MJFAN666 You are underestimating their deliciousness!

[harli13]

wonder what the zoo did after the tortoise died, bet they ate her

[McMahonshaun]

i cried at maltesers

[DurpBox]

I'm paused at about three minutes in at the momemt. I had to take a break from watching this to prevent bodily liquids from escaping.

[spr66]

Mitchell's Laugh at 3:10

[95Tezza95]

best one segment evar :P

[IvarrtheSpineless]

David Mitchell's regretful sigh; "We are twats..!"

Priceless.

[MidGroundInertia]

as an american, Sometimes, the show just degrades into british in which I have no idea what's being said, but I know it's fucking hilarious.

[penguinswithswords]

The word Hilarious isnt needed before QI, just those letters let us know

[dragonforce525]

Letting Jo Brand get the final joke in, that's like Jedward closing an Iron Maiden gig, what a letdown.

[thisisacunt]

@dragonforce525 ea fuck her

[90JFB]

@dragonforce525 Not quite... Jo Brand is the world's only funny woman.

[dragonforce525]

@90JFB I disagree, as soon as she opens her mouth you know what the jokes gonna be, either "I'm fat" or "My husband's a twat", kind takes the punch out of the punch line when you know exactly what it's gonna be.

[CrissCross407]

@dragonforce525 FULLY agree. I hate that she's on QI so much.

[Shadowlolz]

tad disappointing tortoises were equivalent to a twix bar on the drive home.

[KurtMcGowan]

you drop this bombshell of a historic fact on a bunch of comedians, you are going to get MAYHEM x

[UnitedKingdomify]

0:27 Mitchell's garble... 0:49 Lock's.... I lol'd my ass off but I just kept replaying them. Heh ha. {=D

[jungleboyuk]

All of a sudden, I have a strange craving for Giant Tortoise

[annalouisekennedy]

@jungleboyuk Me too! No idea what it tastes like, but if it's better than Chicken, Beef and butter, it's got to be amazing!

[angrywhenroused]

was it wear horrible shirt day and David didn't get the memo?

[shmd94]

This clip made me want to eat a tortoise. :\

[fenhen]

God I could go for a giant tortoise right about now...

[CalumGilhooly]

you've achieved 50% Jo but are you delicious as well?

[understand0001111]

This sketch and the driving licences sketch are my two favourites in qi :D

[D3w10n]

Alan is always acting like he is a representative for general ignorance, but he gives the correct answer most of the times O.o

[nakiwarai1]

it’s adorable to see how much fun they can all have with just the simple fact that tortoises taste good :)

[MsCookieJonas]

@Hobzicle Also the only show that can go from giant tortoises to maltesers and back again with incredible ease.

[AXes28481]

I love David Mitchell's near-constant state of barely controlled nerd rage.

[KitchenKiller95]

whoever disliked this is a tortoise

[vassman1]

whats the latin name for maltesers?

[Hobzicle]

The only show that can talk about Tortoises and keep the audience entertained.

[MissPezzalicious]

David Mitchell - absolute legend. But I feel sorry for the tortoise....

[Schmidtah]

I really am in the mood for giant tortoise now.

[bitethis47]

2011 less 255... 1756!!!!!

[tlewtree]

1 Giant Tortoise has a laptop?

[Cokecakepopcorn]

I can't stand that bloody woman:/

[ciaoukulele]

Probably The best clip from this show.

[DDslinky]

The only time I ever want Alan Davis to shut up is when David Mitchell's on QI, just so that I can hear more of his genius...

[xxMartian]

This was so incredibly funny, my stomach muscles were sore afterwards, and my eyes were streaming with tears. Jesus christ that was amazing.

[chailizard]

Lock, Mitchell, Davis and Fry in a room together.... miracles happen

[Terrystearsatlfc]

I love how Stephen Fry can wear anything he likes and still look good in it.

[Buffoon1980]

I'm convinced that a good part of the reason that this show is so brilliant is because it's just a delight to see other people enjoying themselves so much. Top Gear's the same; I've always slightly mistrusted people who say they don't like Top Gear, because I suspect they don't have that simple human capacity to enjoy seeing other people having fun.

[EmilyDNelson]

David's so thin and handsome here.

[whowantsabighug]

@mthrnaturesson Good idea to wear a t-shirt underneath, stops the jolly old sweat.

[SnakeJake23]

david mitchell <3

[DudesterSparkles]

@mthrnaturesson Haha, Thats really random...

[InsertNameHere803]

This may be the best QI clip ever.

[RandBMuiscSupplement]

We are twats!

[artstuX]

We should start up an intensive giant tortoise breeding programme NOW!

[morthasa]

@artstuX and a restaurant... *grins*

[Vopahsolog]

@artstuX I've had sex with several tortoises and still nothing! What am I doing wrong...

[xSkitZx]

@artstuX yea nobody thought of that. Thing is they don't breed in captivity, and maybe once every few years in the wild.

[Emophiliac2]

@artstuX There IS an intensive giant tortoise breeding program in the Galapagos right now. Lots of little tortoises on most populated island. I never did find out how they taste.

[MessiahComing]

@artstuX If you want to save a species, farm them.

[Lesserthannone]

@artstuX Yeah why not, its sure to kick off say, when the stocks are filled in another 200 years or so...

[artstuX]

@Lesserthannone

But I'm hungry now!

[Idva]

Stephen's genuine laugh at 3:54 is priceless!!

[ravenhousegaming]

"Come over here my lovely, were trying to find a name for yo... GETH YAAA FOK...!!!"

[superquintendo]

i almost died waiting for this to buffer

[ShadesOfKnight]

I love Alan's bit... "I don't know what they're called, but you gotta go get one, they're delicious." :)

[ProducShuns]

only qi can make the topic of giant tortoises funny

[NeoWolf07]

Davids Laught at 3:09 is amazing XD

[SuperGoldenPony]

Pretty impresssive dd

[artstuX]

I've got a sudden craving for Kentucky Fried Tortoise.

[itasaku4llenstar]

I'm gonna quote a movie of what I think about David: "You're a moodle, girls wanna take you out for a walk they wanna cuddle you but, no one, wants to 'do' the moodle".

[USSCannonFodder]

I know the perfect epitaph for the 255 year old tortoise:

"WTF is wrong with you Humans?!?"

[SisterSkift]

@USSCannonFodder "I'm not even that tasty, jeez."

[firsrupert]

2:10

ITS FUCKIN TRUE!

[flyoverangel]

Never get tired of QI, even a bad QI episode is still pretty damn good!

[jsabbath01]

david mitchell v stephen fry on argumental = battle royale

[morthasa]

@jsabbath01 Was there such an episode? If there is please tell me, I am SO watching it!

[jsabbath01]

@morthasa i dont think so but it would be epic would it not?

[morthasa]

@jsabbath01 In more ways than I care to imagine

[IHatePeopleWithViews]

@morthasa Oh my good Jesus! THAT MUST HAPPEN!

[6Dantes6Inferno6]

@morthasa

If such a thing had happened the studio would have been destroyed, failing to contain the sheer awesomeness of it.

[Chariset]

@jsabbath01 I'm amazed David hasn't been on that show. A panel show ABOUT ranting? It's practically a Mitchell Trap.

[Sarandib22]

ROFL! OMG, what is this show? It's hilarious!

[morthasa]

@Sarandib22 It is called QI, it is a british comedy panel game.

More information can be obtained from wikipedia.

Incidentally, just about every QI episode is available on youtube.

[freethis222]

Excellent!

[dnizabhad]

I could spend my entire day listening to david's laugh and still be a happy woman in the evening.

[phoenix511]

Is it wrong that I think David Mitchell is absolutely adorable? Just wanna give him a cuddle.

[beaniec9]

@phoenix511 Never

[theunhappyhours]

@phoenix511 it would be wrong if otherwise.

[Obsidian1392]

@phoenix511 i just wanna suck him off

[Terrystearsatlfc]

@phoenix511 me too. And I am a bloke...

[Ch1nn1s]

@phoenix511 Oh come on!! 69 likes? what the hell am i supposed to think about when i see that number with that text?

[sakayo923]

@phoenix511 no!!! that is definitely NOT wrong!!! he IS adorable! :D