Is the Black Church Keeping Black Women Single?

[martysk8r]

The same problem exists for white men. 4:1 male to female ratio and women who are there are married.

[bosshawg68]

Check Matthew 5:32. YAHOSHUA was fairly explicit. Furthermore, you do not qualify as a "single woman". You are a divorcee and a mother of 3. Let's be honest 1st & foremost.

[aprilmasontv]

@bosshawg68 Being that my PASTOR husband cheated on me, honey I am MORE than qualified to speak from a married and single point of view!

[33wizeman]

@aprilmasontv Hey I feel you and You made very imortant points. I'd love to chat it up with you :)

[cnell25]

Favorited! I will be using this vid as a reference point whenever this single BW topic is discussed!

[cnell25]

Damn! This probably the best advice vid I've heard on YouTube about single BW and the church coming from a BW. I've said the same thing for years. Black Women in the church have to be more proactive on the dating game. Forget what the church teaches its old and outdated.

[FingazNoThumbz]

"If you're not willing to step out of what you've been taught and what you've been doing..."

How about stepping out of the church? Leave the bronze age myths alone and deal with reality instead of wasting time listening to a book written by desert wanderers.

Try it!

[MyOttoLink]

1. DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWG!!!! I don't know you, but LIKE you, anyway!!!!

2. I usually don't like hearing a woman talk for that long (anything wrong with being honest, up in here?), but I was really vibing off of that--heard Holy Spirit, and feisty sassiness under Holy Spirit control, all through that. Actually energized me! PTL!

3. I REALLY dig the boldness, and willingness to be THOROUGH with the boldness. I'll check out your FB page.

Grace, power, peace & favor 2 u!

[Atypical82]

why is the body of Christ narrowed down to "the black church"? black people arent the only race, color or creed of people in the body of Christ...so what is the "black church"?

[floridaboy22]

@Atypical82 I'm black and I agree

[NaturalDoll4b]

Black women need to pick better partners it Plain and simple! If they go after Little Tyreek, The gangster down the street then what do you expect.There are many Black women who feel they MUST to stay loyalty to the 'black man' and in reality they don't they will subject them selves to the poor treatment by these type of black men just to stay loyal to the black man. Granted there are a few successful black man but who are they dating? who are they marrying? in most cases not the black women.

[adiqtiv]

I could watch you all day and listen to you for even longer..."I thank God for opening my eyes". I just love the irony in this statement.

[DAGHETTOSUPERSTAR]

The preacher owes u the truth an praying to Jesus on Sundays won't won't help u get a man of the most high

[59westfederal]

What a beautiful black woman

[bigfreki]

church is not giving our women the eyes to see a good man...period point blank. Just cause a dude in church dont make him good. Church teachings are for personal SPIRITUAL things. You still gotta learn tha real(physical). I feel alot of ur points...P.S. Love the hormone talk.

[bigfreki]

church is not giving our women the eyes to see a good man...period point blank. Just cause a dude in church dont make him good. Church teachings are for personal SPIRITUAL things. You still gotta learn tha real(physical). I feel alot of ur points...

[blackbolt75]

Great video!

[LAYBACK30]

Great video, and good info. I know a women who acts just like that, and she states that her church tells them not to date. Some of these Churchs are teaching the wrong thing and some of these women are brian washed by it. That makes it even harder for good black men like myself to find a good black woman.

[Superfunk51]

Most black women I had relations with were nothing but holy hypocrites. They would praise Jesus one minute, then fuck you and cuss you out the next minute.

[ObadiyahBlack]

I hear ya, Young lady, I think the Church is the root cause to a lot of the ill's in the black community, and Women can be remarried once divorced, it's allowed in the Old Testament, so it's allowed...

[MaybachMusicBOSS99]

nahh only because black women are selfish dumb azz self-hating sellout white man's wh0res who hate dark skin and real dark/brown-skinned black men, that's why we're is in deep sh't. black women think that racist fake white people are their friends and their racist white "kings" men for real in love with them ... smh! that's why!

[ToniBreland]

Wow. How beautiful and bold of you to encourage women to say to men, "We need you." That statement, and others you make here, have endeared you to me. Thank you for sharing.

[natturnerX]

Black churches nowadays are full of used, abused, and emotionally scarred black women (not all). These are also a lot of jumpoff hoes in the church that party hard on Saturday night and when they go to church on Sunday they catch the Holy Ghost LOL! They use Jesus' name to sheild their dirty religion.

[superbm77]

Wow it was a great video. Ruth did provide a great model. Our women must first seek God also and stay pure hearted. Friends first with NO strings attached.

[superbm77]

Wow it was a great video. Ruth did provide a great model. Our women must first seek God aslo and stay pure hearted. Friends first with NO strings attached.

[terrickadotcom]

Beautiful Sister, love it!

[doridee88]

so now.. What are the stratgies? I am willing to make time and sacrafice now how do i go about "not getting a man and him finding me".... How do i strategically BE SEEN? or did i miss that? Thank You so much by the way, Sister April.

[89krash]

quit being so damn picky......you aint finding no connection ..you grow with a person and work the bumps out ..or be lonely.

[mercyhurstchic]

I wish you can address the smug marrieds, you know people who think they better than singles. I would love to hear what you have to say on that.

[Mrbaltimore2001]

As a single black man, I try to be selective in who I approach, because I don't want to known as the guy who's trying to holler at every single black woman I find attractive in my church.

Also I find a lot of single black women in church set their standards so high, it's like their trying to find something wrong with.

I've also found out a lot of single black women in church have a "maintenance man" for the sole purpose of meeting their sexual needs.

[gemac2000]

I feel you. You are right. People take the scriptures and make it their own way. when you say dont eat pork christian think you are muslim when its in the bible not to. Polygyny is in the bible as well but women wont except that. Be fruitful and multiple and stay spitriual we all are here on our own journey. The church have us thinbking about self remember you were forced a religion. Besides the numbers are not equal: men and women so sit and wait til your face turn blue or be fruitful GOD BLESS

[MyOttoLink]

@gemac2000 "The church have us thinbking about self remember you were forced a religion."

HUH? I don't get it.

[ToniBreland]

I just love you!

[missmusic2k]

Thank you April!!! You have said so many things that I've thought, but never had the guts to say! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

[blkron3]

imo you hit a lotta things on the head.truth of the matter is most of the women in the church are just as bad as women in the street.....just something from what i had experience in the past.

[eyeonwashparish]

The Church has become another in a long line of Black Feminist tools. It wasn't always like this. I commend the pastors I have heard who have the balls to go against that grain. It's usually the older kats though. *message*

[stanley2e]

Steve Harvey book is only about common sense things that we have forgotten to do far as relationships!

[tytheeman20]

The black church keeps a lot of people down, poor, uneducated, and prejudiced, so I'm not surprised if the answer is yes.

[mofotax]

No the Church is NOT keeping sistas single...

...the bad attitudes of un-feminine, Man-hating bloodclarts are keeping themselves single.

[Esco52289]

Ms. Mason, if you start focusing on developing a deep relationship with Jesus Christ, everything else will fall into place. Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all things shall be added unto you. You're real beautiful by the way, that man that cheated on you must be out of his mind....

[vincent15641]

April Mason, you said you were divorced from a pastor. So unless you are a Jezebel type of church lady, you know the Bible forbids you to marry again- or else you and your new husband (if you get one) will be committing adultery.

Many black women are single because they're single mothers. No Mr. Right will be unequally yoked. It's a bad deal for a single man like myself with no children to date single moms. Too many problems in more ways than one.

Any house divided cannot stand.

[aprilmasontv]

@vincent15641: My exhusband cheated so your point isn't valid! Your other point of the reason black women aren't getting married is because they have children.....WRONG! As a single mom of a 17, 15 and 13 yr old 98% of the men I attract are single, never married, NO KIDS, successful and WANT to marry! It's all about what a man wants and how a single mom presents her self and raise her children. If a single mom is not for you, then keep it moving, but don't us her having kids for her being single

[vanityrose12]

@aprilmasontv the fact that your so good looking overshadows the fact that you have those kids...imo women hate this but it's a fact that men want to be with a good looking woman....i mean come on i can't picture a woman wanting to be with a man that looks like a troll

[vanityrose12]

@aprilmasontv wow i used the word "fact" way to many times lol.......i have a better vocab than that

[whitebitchnigga]

@aprilmasontv Sisters can find dick and babydaddies BUT they can't find husbands...

[BiGMANJOE32]

@aprilmasontv im sorry according to romans chapter you are still married ot your husband until he is dead. To disobey you will be adulteress before God

[aprilmasontv]

@BiGMANJOE32: Because he cheated I am free to do as I please!

[floridaboy22]

@BiGMANJOE32 God allows divorce under certain cicumstances. Her husband cheated. He is the adulturer not her. She is free to remarry HE can not remarry because he is bound to HER until she passes. If he wants to be happy in a relationship he would have to have total repentence and reconcile with his wife but it's her choice.

CHEATING AND ADULTRY IS SERIOUS AND MORE PEOPLE MAY WANT TO REALIZE IT FOR THEIR OWN SOUL'S SAKE

[TheImperfectMan2011]

come to my channel sweetheart as I truly break down why so many black females are single in amerca come check it out

[manjumaru]

forget all that information.. if you want a partner, male or female, you must be active in making this happen. go out to places where the type of partner you would like, hangs around. be that type of person they would want. deal with your insecurities and some of your friends might be the cause of you not get the partner you want. Unaware guys usually have friends who dont respect them, esp in front of girls or company n wussy problems. Girls, have friends that dont betray your dignity, selah

[djanaip]

Great post!!!!!!! You hit the nail on the head especially about positioning yourself and stop waiting to be picked like a piece of cotton. I recently have been re-evaluating things I've learned from the church in regards to this issue. So I'm glad i found your video. Again great video.

[djanaip]

Great video!!!!!!!! U hit the nail on the head especially about positioning yourself and reevaluating what you learned about waiting to pick like a piece of cotton.lol Again great video!!!

[MrAdwolfe1]

I would convert back just to meet her. Just kidding

[MrAdwolfe1]

U pretty, I'm an atheist but I best youll make me say omg!

[OnlyGreatness007]

No black women and keeping black women single. Don't blame on the church. The problem with black women is that they are chasing after a fantasy. Get real. Life is not a fantasy.

[damfst23]

April Mason ,you are a fine woman ,damn!

[theright1allthetime]

Most black women keep themselves single....

[sadelover100]

That Tasha Smith voice is killng me LOL...pretty in pink-- young man magnet

[aprilmasontv]

@sadelover100: LOL, I get mistaken for her AT LEAST 20 times a week!!

[reignsupreme]

@aprilmasontv

I see why lol You sound and look just like her. You both are pretty sisters.

[bellafante1]

@aprilmasontv just sexy

[kuzabee]

@aprilmasontv I was like, you do look familiar... Tasha Smith! Sexy, truly sexy! :-)

[vanityrose12]

@sadelover100 your right she does sound like her!!!

[meme5976]

@sadelover100 you know you right!

[kuzabee]

@sadelover100 Yes!! Tasha Smith! :-)

[NIKKISALTER1]

The "He who finds a wife" passage must be kept within its cultural context. Arranged marriages were the norm when that was written. There was no such thing as dating as we have come to know it in contemporary times. Thus, he who finds a wife is in no way a biblical mandate forbidding women from pursuing men. Its amazing how the lack of biblical understanding can create such bondage in the church.

[shemcity]

Church girls is the livest ones, they can't wait to give it up, I got me one now and she loves to put out. Can't wait to see her this weekend.

[twinnzawinna101]

what about less black men being in church, I know most women in the church who husbands are at home, why is that?

[shaparnapash]

We worshiped your LIE of a white Jesus(WHEN HE IS ACTUALLY A BLACK MAN) and we prayed to these devils while getting our backs whipped now is the time for a little justice! It will be just if you went through the same things right? I mean if I stole your wallet if you are truly sorry whats the first thing you have to do? You have to give me my wallet back right? Well the lord said to reward you double for all the suffering you gave to us! The Lord Is just even if we dont have a sense of Justice!

[foursixsquare]

the black church teaches the women to be demons and tell them to Treat men like shit

[TheRealExcelsior]

Hi sis. I just found your YouTube channel and website today. I enjoyed this video and look forward to seeing what else you have to share. Thank you, bless.

[JGvisions]

...That is why for the last couple of years, men have slowly drifted away from the church because it does practically nothing in regards to solving real life social problems. I need job, i need a car, house, money, ect. are all things that are not provided by the church. we are living creatures of a physical nature and the church (and most religions) tend to outright ignore and suppress that nature not understanding life is about balance. Once you balance the spiritual and the physical...part2

[JGvisions]

wow, i have a lot to say on the subject. First, the church is the last place to find a husband not because of compatibility or the such or building a relationship with God, But because men and women have different priorities in regards to dealing with problems in reality. The Church, although provides a social structure of some sort, does not do what is necessary to establish a foundation for a stable culture. Economics, education, language, are all things not addressed by the church...part1

[2Baiforev]

Many black men, not all but many it seems are not that spiritual anymore. Most black men don't come to church anymore. They don't go to the mosque either. Secondly, try interracial churches maybe you can find better men.

[InfiniteAnathesis]

There is plenty Black Men that is Spiritual and that is the reason why they are not in the Church nor the Mosque. There is a difference between being Religious and Spiritual.

[MrPrettyBoyChina]

You correct!!!!

[ponchocam]

We are humans. If you want a man flirt.

[misscrish]

Awesome! I think you are way smart. Love it!

[Jazzclub101]

I wish you could come to Barbados in the Caribbean it is even worse

[Road2RealSheffield]

First, let's define "findeth" as it is meant in the bible. As a single Christian woman she is not lost she is an untouched/unknown (to him) treasure. This is quoted in the "black" church to teach misses not to go out "searching for a man". Why? Because when SHE (the woman w/o Godly counsel) seek one she usually finds one BUT not THE ONE and then she comes running back to the church crying why did this happen to me. What the church is teaching, perhaps not clearly, is that she should prepare h

[aprilmasontv]

@Road2RealSheffield : So are you saying that only a man can choose a wife? Just because a man chooses you DOESN'T mean you are compatible, there is chemistry and that he IS THE HUSBAND FOR HER! And if you really get into the book of Ruth you find that according to their customs and what Naomi told her to do, Ruth asked Boaz to marry her!

[TheBlackGlenBeck]

Preach !

[Azgriffith]

Thanks April:)



[MrWINNSLAW]

"Check out the MrWINNSLAW channel and look at the black church blog. I believe that you'll like it."

[SharieG77]

April you are so ON POINT with this! Thanks!

[pharaohdojah]

THE CHURCH ONLY AND WILL ALLWAYS TEACH US AWAY FROM WHAT WE NEED AS BLACK PEOPLE

[asaadiq]

@pharaohdojah CORRECT!!!

[dezapples]

@pharaohdojah I so agree with you...but as long as'' they''...(because i dont go) continue to be blind....they will never know...THINK FOR YOURSELF!!!

[takeDshot]

Marry me!:-)

[starscreamp250]

Its not the "Black Church". Its the fact that religion is being taught from a western perspective. We hear sermons and are told what to believe. We don't know how to test what we are hearing. Throughout my life I have been taught scriptures that fit a pastors message while the context is excluded. (The true meaning of the biblical text for us is what God originally intended it to mean when it was first spoken).

[patrickposey2003]

yo april i'm mad proud of you this is something ive said for a minute i was just discussing this wit one of my home girls awhile ago that i used to date, you are mad intelligent and I know you would find a man thats for you, as long as you and that man as chemistry and you can accept him for who he is and not try to change him, and know a man gonna be a man. some women live in some type of make believe fairy tale world, and you already seem that your on the right track, though 2 serious4me lol

[dexcorp1]

I'd like to respond directly to the question posed in the title... The verbiage used in the title sparks controversy. As a general statement, It's not necessarily the "Black Church" keeping "Black Women" single. People are hook up on religion, when they need to be hook up on RELATIONSHIP. Many church attendees have a false sense of relationship with God, and the teachings of SOME churches BLUR that fine line. Many people are simply incapable of differentiating between religion and relationship

[dexcorp1]

(Part 3) ...however, The bible DOES say faith without works is dead. The "works" that are required is left for you to do. I think too often people blame God for their shortcomings. Or people make excuses that make themselves comfortable. My explanation really goes deeper than this, but it's difficult to convey everything."

[dexcorp1]

(Part 2)...Often people live in a world of religion, so much so that they can't operate effectively in the world. An example of this would be me... I want to be a successful business owner. As a result, I'm in the process of rearranging my circle of associates. I recently joined the Young Executives Club which a group of "tomorrow's CEO's". This puts me one step closer to "the desire of my heart". I dont believe that God needs my help (continued)

[dexcorp1]

Man... I hate that I'm so late, but for those who know me... yall KNOW i had to get in on this one... I actually posted this in another forum/group that I'm a part of... I felt it was appropriate... so here goes - "God says that he will give us the desires of our hearts. I'm confident that God isn't a liar. If marriage isn't coming into existence for us the problem isn't God, it's us. I'm a believer that people can will there way into the situation that they want to be in. (continued)

[SimonaOnae]

So many woman may not know who Deborah Cooper is and I heard it first from April Mason so BOOM!! Shared it with a few friends and enjoyed it. i am married and whom ever God uses to send a message thru to reach a Woman/man in need so be it.

[jellybeanrice]

@aprilmasontv but you have the exact same title as she does and you speaking about the same thing! That mean I can use your title and talk about the same thing in your book?

It is said that people can't be creative these days because their eyes are fixed on the mighty dollars!!! Damn only in America!!!!

[aprilmasontv]

@jellybeanrice I DON'T have the same title first (like OTHER ppl on you tube do) and our commentaries are very different. Sure you can talk about this issue as well just like MANY others have on youtube and amongst themselves!! It a universal subject and isn't trademarked! This issue is BIGGER then her or myself! Who's making money?I guess only one person can talk about AIDS, DL Men, teen issues because someone already has...Y'all are funny but I'm sure she can appreciate your loyalty!

[jellybeanrice]

Hasn't Deborah Cooper spoke on this subject before or was that in another life?!!!!

[aprilmasontv]

@jellybeanrice Is she the only on that can speak on this subject? I NEVER heard of her until my video came out which means this is a national issues and she isn't the only one that feels this way. Why men cheat has been spoken about on numerous occasions, but people are STILL talking about and writing books on it from THEIR perspective.

[easylistening27]

ITS ABOUT TIME SOMEONE SAID THE TRUTH EVERY GODLY WOMAN WAS AND IS THINKING. I BACK YOU SIS< KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK. IT IS SAD THAT WE CAN'T GET THE TRUTH IN CHURCH BECAUSE NO ONE WANTS TO BE REBUKED OR CALLED A JEZEBEL FOR A GOD GIVEN EMOTION OF WANTING TO RECEIVE AND GIVE LOVE TO ANOTHER. WOMAN ARE PASSIVE BY LEARNING THIS FROM THE CHURCH...KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK SIS< AND MUCH FAVOR BE UNTO YOU!!

[iuwoerl]

She seems to advise not spending so much time in church. I disagree with this. The church is the best place to find a godly man. And there is nothing wrong with waiting on God. He knows the future and he cares for us. Why not trust Him? Do God's work and work hard for the kingdom, and if God's plan is for you to get married, then I believe it will happen.

Some excellent reading: Passion and Purity by Elisabeth Elliot and I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris.

[aprilmasontv]

@iuwoerl No, I'm advising women to have BALANCE! Ruth wasn't found by Boaz in the church and neither was Ester. They carried GOD and GODLY WISDOM with them when they went OUT to POSITION themselves to be found! I never said their wasn't good Godly men in church, but we ALL know they are very few of them! Godly men aren't ONLY found in the church! They may attend but they also have a life OUTSIDE of the church! Such as sporting events, taking a "how to" class at Home Depot on a Sat morning etc..

[utubeelliott]

1 Corinthians 7: 8-9 Paul is telling women to pursue marriage.

open bible--> read text--> forgo nonsense

[utubeelliott]

...and so no other human is ever allowed to discuss this topic without paying nancydrew aka Deborrah Cooper royalties.

Why is it that 70% of Black women in black church say "I'm watin' on my Boaz" and subject themselves to these non-biblical doctrines (Proverbs 18:22 is in no way a command to women--or anyone) and yet so many of these women are having babies? or get divorced for reasons like "where I want to live."

1 Corinthians 7: 8-9 Paul is telling women to pursue marriage.

[ecj613]

Ms. April. Have you written any books? This was very well put and true. May God continue to bless you with this knowledge to share with so many that need it. Thank you.

[aprilmasontv]

@ecj613 Thank you! Yes I have a book entitled "Broken But Not Bound the Making of Me". You can watch the book trailer and read an excerpt of the book at brokenbutnotbound(dot) com

[kimtumey]

April, girl do you and keep up God's work. As you can see you're on the right path as the devil will always peak his head out when you're doing something right. Plus, who cares what they say, it's not like Youtube is paying her, she has a number #1 Seller or has been on Oprah....lmbo! Whew, folks crack me up acting like you can't talk about the subject matter, if that were the case, there wouldn't be a YOUTUBE!

Do YOU!

[nancydrew5]

This topic has already been discussed and written about by Deborrah Cooper's ground breaking article, 'The black Church: How the black church keeps black women single and lonely. Her article came out last summer 2010. You are plagiarizing her work in this video.

[aprilmasontv]

@nancydrew5 Never heard of her or her article until TODAY. This is a universal issue that many others have an opinion on. Like I said I grew up in church and a previous pastors wife so this is my account and observation from that stand point.

[SimonaOnae]

@nancydrew5 Wow are you serious... plagiarizing....

[iamaksd]

I agree. I don't think everything shouldn't be taboo. It should be discussed more and it is really not.