Earnest Goes to Anime (3/4)

[GeneticKH]

Iron Maiden is a relative to the Armoured Lady from Cobra

[obscuritylord]

8:23 What is this sailor moon now?!

[Ledundeadv66]

Holding his breathe for ten minutes, slowbeef? I see what you did there.

[scatzilla99]

You mean my favorite character...?

[Swordofswordom]

Wow, those looked like bosses from a 2D shooter game, not a platformer (prepare to insert your quarters at 5:08).

[DarkSolnea]

This is like a comedy tentacle hentai except without the hentai and more on the drugs... I want to know what they were smoking.

[milkkart]

this is like a qwop game based on a bad shmup based on a nightmarish DXM trip spent flicking between indiana jones and the discovery channel on tv.

[LovetteCher]

1. So they were on a boat.

2. They fell into the water.

3. Evans fell into the under underwater.

4. Then he was in the water under the under-underwater?

5. And this water was actually a tiny universe.

6. Which had a temple in it??

7. And there was a ritual demon-summoning canyon in the temple????

8. And it's all now inside a Bitcoin????????????????

I can has map?

[JanitorAntisocial]

Despite all the other ways this game breaks physics, I have to point out after a swing, he flips FORWARD.

[ZiloTheStrange]

...Was that a Sailor Moon reference at 6:40...?

[thinBillyBoy]

Dut dut dut dut dut dut dut dut TERRORTIME!

[Fishmon14]

Earnest Evans, did you kill Rita?

[SuperMario16bit]

the ballad of whatever the fuck that thing was at 1:00

[Trogdorbad]

NEW YORK TIMES

IRON MAIDEN LIVE

LIVE AFTER DEATH

THE WORLD SLAVERY TOUR

[Trogdorbad]

TERROR TIMES

FOR THE UNITITIATED, THE ADICTS FIRST

[Nostalgamagic]

There's actual fan art of some of these characters on DeviantArt. Jesus Christ.

[MightyKombat]

Seriously? Amazing.

[rjakobi]

@Nostalgamagic Of course there is. They got fanart of Captain Novolin on there too.

[MightyKombat]

Yeah I just found the Sherriff Evans pic on DA.Amazing.

[nicodoll33]

@Nostalgamagic

HAHAHAH OH WOW

[somahiru]

Pause at 7:26 and see Earnest's expression.

[Sexragaify]

"TERROR TIMES - For the unititiated..."

[UburezReturns]

i am... REDEEMING THIS BIG COIN!!!!!!!!!

1 Big coin(US)-9,000 Nukes(Japan)

[evilmonkey609]

lol Iron maden ftw.

[killzcobra]

it was a guinea



[RetroLPer]

I can just imagine Earnest Evans going to that Iron Maiden concert, flailing his arms with the rock-on signal xD

[MouseInator9999]

At 5:30 its the Old Man from Legend of Zelda: Link to the Past

[Itadatimasu]

"oops i just destroyed the world" xD

[MeatballYaro2]

IRON MAIDEN, FUCK YEAH!

[HealyHQ]

"This is the worst Comic-Con I've ever been to!" Man, I was rolling! Hahahaha! XD

[lobsopdoy]

I love Evan's derpface at 7:26

[Sleexb]

FOR THE UNITITATED, THE ADICTS FIRST

-What?

[PAMuffinMan]

@Sleexb IRON MAIDEN LIVE LIVE AFTER DEATH

[sandslash123]

Why am I finding this review so mesmerising

[Physhi]

"...and when the planet align and the Bitcoin/US exchange rate is most favorable,"

killed me. I am dead. Thank you Diabeetus.

[JDWtri]

8:36 The universe is at peace... because I killed it.

[tabear2004]

7:25 the best reaction known to man and beast.

[RattyRandnums]

Wtf why are The Adicts (Clockwork Orange themed 80s punk band, that's definitely the clown make-up'd lead singer's picture on the front of the paper) and Iron Maiden randomly shown on the newspapers? Plus the world slavery tour was in like the early 80s iirc. So the game's reference to it already would have been old and odd even at the time.

[Flokkerdude]

Wow, Diabetus really killed me with that dukes of hazard reference.

[Pooky1991]

I've seen flash animation that look better than thisXD

[Nomad9]

Also I just wanted to say I love you for making Dukes of Hazard references in 2011, Beetus.

[Nomad9]

If only this game's soundtrack were done by Iron Maiden.

[Volcarious]

Iron Maiden Live?

1940/50's car?

1910's Bi-Plane?

WTF?

[Djinnfest]

BY THE POWER OF BITCOOOOOOIIIIIIINNNNNN!!!!!!!­!

[EternalGuardian07]

That's because Valis77 is the ONLY Ernest Evans player in the world.

[ValisHD]

@EternalGuardian07 you darn right i am and thanks...wait!

[QuaziGNRLNose]

why is there an iron maiden flier if its the 40's

[cotyghero]

rofl wooo live after death!

[TheJrayhiman]

anyone else notice how massive those candles are at 6:46

[VysetheTard]

Check out that facial expression Earnest has at 4:41.

"Should I kill them and THEN hang myself with this whip, or just hang myself and leave them to the lead pipe acrobatics troupe?"

[Chippy1801]

From Wikipedia - "In the 1930s, a man known as Earnest Evans learned about three ancient idols..." WHY IS IRON MAIDEN MENTIONED 45 YEARS BEFORE THEY WERE FORMED?!

[MrGuyPwnsYou]

@Chippy1801 "Now, many years later, his grandson, Earnest Evans III, continues his grandfather's quest to save humanity from total annihilation."

Of course, this only raises the question of why the fuck he rides an ancient biplane...

[Icerama108]

@Chippy1801 Look, you're asking this question, a good question, but I am afraid you must go without an answer because that question is flanked on all sides by questions like: "Why is there an ancient temple in Maine" or, why does the fish monster warp through space?

[johnnycashew]

@Chippy1801 If you read the entire paragraph on wikipedia, it actually says this is Earnest Evans' grandson, Earnest Evans III, many years later.

[RedCloude]

@Chippy1801 lol umm the Iron Maiden is also a torturing device used in the middle ages.

[Chev427BB]

@RedCloude Yeah, but that newspaper is specifically talking about the band, unless it's just a clever play on words

[tombomp23]

wrongpurae

unintelligible

garbage

[pullahoko]

This is what happens when you have schizophrenic Japanese people make games.

MAGIC.

[leviathan1173]

I swear, those wacky Japanese can't make ONE anime or game without tentacles or generic pantless girls.

[bahji9]

@leviathan1173 Actually, those who dig deeper will find the world of anime to be quite a varied segment of animation where many bold experimenters forge an existence alongside the commercialized work, ranging from....

DEAR GOD, I nearly insinuated that anything could possibly be better than Earnest Evans. I will whip myself now.

[TheAbridgedGamer]

@leviathan1173

Nah, many anime's have these style, lol it's japan allright, but are some decent anime and good :D

But some anime fans are somewhat creepy, the ones who goes to deep can never return :O

Right Mina Man XD

[sonicfeet]

"tentacles"

I thought we got past that stereotype by 2002.

Nowadays, they can't make one anime or manga without putting in unchanging jokes about men getting beat up/insulted by women.

[EdmacZ]

@leviathan1173

Or an awkward hot tub/hot spring scene.

Or a perverted male character trolling for booty.

Or a female character who doesn't pull out hammers and whack guys over the head while calling them idiots.

Or have a substantial animation budget and talent. Mouth flapping, using the same character bases, characters with actual personality instead of falling on weak archetypes.

[TheToast7]

@leviathan1173 Dark Souls?

No, I guess it had those too.

[SoundwaveCooper]

Dangit, sometimes ya just wanna go for a nice walk through the woods and then a tentacle tree monster comes outta nowhere....know what I mean, Vern?

[DaRkLoRdZoRc]

"FOR THE UNITITIATED, THE ADICTS FIRST."

Can I get a translation on that?

I think the reason the cutscenes are so fucked up is because the guy playing did the levels out of order or some shit. That's the BEST-CASE scenario of all this. The worst case is just utter incompetence, of course. Speaking of which:

1:00 AM I KAWAII? UGUU~

[Evan121991]

@DaRkLoRdZoRc "One-boobed woman first to be addicted to new currency"

[neuronstorm]

"With the power of bitcoin I purchase PANTS!!"

Oh somebody rip that audio and viralize it. I don't know if it's effectively pro-bitcoin or anti-bitcoin.. could be taken either way.. but it's funny :)

[TheFryBoy1]

@Battezu looks like you're the only one. Making fun of horrible games is so much better than making fun of the people playing them. I hope they do more longplays in the future

[Battezu]

I'm getting tired of longplays. Make fun of idiots again instead of long ass games.

[CommanderMantis]

How the Hell are you supposed to survive that damn skull-eye monster? That thing looks like it was put in the game specifically to rob you of a continue.

[Seantendo]

An Iron Maiden plug in a Sega game. Why didn't we see that more often?!

[Iwuznothere]

Who the hell names their paper the Terror Times? And what does The Adicts First mean? Some kind of badly translated drug addict’s political movement?

[Moonchipz]

Does anyone know who voiced the girl? Her voice is cool.

[xValis77x]

@Moonchipz yuko minaguchi

[SamuraiFoochs]

It's like if you were trying to make a mixture of Indiana Jones and Richter Belmont, and then the QWOP guy ran into the combination pod at the last second and fucked things up.

[CheezeFox]

You see, it's good that they reference the World Slavery Tour here, otherwise I wouldn't have known this game took place in the 30's.

...Wait...

[MrSexyRoland]

nice star of david, apparently they were gonna summon jewish satan

[glmathgrant]

@MrSexyRoland I'm surprised Retsupurae didn't make a joke about that.

[TheIr0nMike]

I doubt I would be able to understand this even if I knew Japanese.

[Trollfagget]

Fuck yeah! Iron Maiden!

[MalamiteLtd]

TERROR TIMES

"For the unititiated, the adicts first."

What is an "unititiated," and why do these "adicts" go first?

[BenjaminEllett]

7:33 best lip sync ever!

[amazingred09]

so your not playing this? coulda fooled me lol

[marioVSshadow]

Oops I nuked the world D:

I feel sorry for the cunt who has to clean that up :/

[artman40]

Note: Wildlife in Mexico isn't depicted correctly in this game. For an example, that giant floating worm is green in real life.

[bloodriotiori]

@artman40 ha xD

[srb2Espyo]

I had to move my chair back to retrieve something from my drawer. And the video was at 7:53...

[JasperChalks]

The Origami Flower's only natural defence is to perform a dance routine.

[BigJuicyx3]

I'M LOOKIN' FOR THE ORAHGAM-E FLOWAH.

[DDKNV]

The girl looks similar to the one from El Viento on the Sega Genesis

[SwordfighterRed]

@DDKNV That's because they're indeed the same person. Apparently Earnest Evans was the first in a trilogy, and the title character becomes a supporting character in the following games El Viento and Annette Returns, in which Annette (the green-haired girl) is the heroine.

[CalBro]

What the fuck is... This game. What the hell is going on?

[TheHeroHartmut]

Man, that bird thing is like Lavos all over again.

[harizotoh7]

This game has such a fascinating premise: Indianna Jones meets Castlevania with Rondo of Blood style cutscenes. Such potential! Completely wasted.

[kholsinger]

Whips work under water? I don't think that's earnest.

[Evan121991]

Indra? That was just a giant bitcoin mining machine. Guy had to destroy it to eliminate its economic value.

"As President of the United States, I ask you: save our credit rating."

[moccamonster]

@Evan121991 This is my favorite comment ever.

[TonyBranston]

@Evan121991 Look at that sucker burn!

[EponymousKid]

Okay, I get it now: The Adicts and Iron Maiden thing was because the intended (Japanese) audience wouldn't notice if they used perfect, appropriate English, so they were like "Whatever. Hey, what's on that flier over there?"

[EponymousKid]

That weird giant worm boss fits in perfectly with the rest of the game. Lookit those gigantic anime eyes.

[PhrozenFox]

"This is the worst comic con I've ever been to" matched PERFECTLY to the character's mouth.

[EponymousKid]

Aren't the hooks you can swing from ripped off from Super Castlevania? Richter could totally do that.

[BogoblinGamer]

I already watched all this on blip, but I want to watch it again!

[Karash770]

I must say, the Terror Times is the only newspaper worth reading these days.

[Kiroswan]

I wish I had a bitcoin.

[sekretsu]

LIVE AFTER DEATH!! Back in the 80's I saw Earnest Evans there. We moshed but his life drained by like 6 bars each pit thrash. He died shortly after. R.I.P. Earnest Evans :(

[doooomster]

love the bitcoin jokes.

[bloodrunsclear]

'Oops...I nuked the world'

I want that on a tshirt XD

[ROFLitsJobe]

I like how the whole thing breaks down when he gets underwater and nobody even knows what to say

[Highstar25]

'looks like these anime boys dun got themselves in trouble.'

[sagacious03]

My god, Earnest's expression at 7:26.

But yeah, goddamn, this whole damn game.

[TolvoMan]

That is one evil looking Star of David.

[StressedAndObsessed]

5:00

JOHN MCCAIN, WHY?!

[teababe27]

I wanna go to that Iron Maiden concert.

But on topic, very funny commentary and random Maiden reference is random.

[TheWriter0]

I love how every time Earnest Evans gets hit, he farts.

[OurBenefactors]

oh man, with a bitcoin that size she could buy accounts for 3 shitty browser MMOs and almost $10 worth of poor-quality illegal drugs!

[Mettaler]

Somewhere out there, Steve Harris is crying to himself.

[Ayanami555]

The only reason to play this game is to fap to the girl. Or to the villain guy, if you're a yaoi fangirl.

[WaddleDee105]

@Ayanami555 : So you like fapping to underage girls...?

[RoyStorey]

@WaddleDee105 No need to worry, she's actually 5 million years old, in cat years.

[bobbinsthethird]

@WaddleDee105 You don't?

[EdwardChrisvonMuir]

Earnest's face at 7:26 is the greatest thing ever.

[CSB]

these bitcoin jokes are the best

[strobelights9]

I had a bad dream about this lastnight...

[WaddleDee105]

@strobelights9 : Same thing happened to me. I imagined I was in a giant ant farm and a disco wizard was my best friend...

[CyanFunk]

The bitcoin paid for the Iron Maiden tickets.

[NCHammer326]

5:13

I love how he goes all ragdoll when he gets killed. I except nothing else from such a realistic seizure simulator.

[razor8191]

I can see now where Lucas and Speilberg got their inspiration for Crystal Skull.

[Evan121991]

For the unititiated, the adicts first? come on, Terrortimes, is the One-Boobed Lady really worth a headline?

[chaffXgrenade]

Pointless storyline, weird running animations, and long-haired anime dudes.

Only thing that's missing is some killer voice acting from Edwyn Tiong (aka Dan McNeely), and you've got yourself a Flash game, :P

[troysson81]

@chaffXgrenade:

Maybe he's in the English version.

[DaRkLoRdZoRc]

@chaffXgrenade You know, you're right. This game even has a girl in a maid outfit, too!

Edwyn Tiong, Sr. must have been a member of WolfTeam.

[mattr75]

This game...is impossible for me to describe how utterly screwed up it is.

[Isaacian27]

An Iron Maiden concert? In the 1930s? Surely, this game is way ahead of it's time!

[BumAtLarg]

oh look iron maiden is playing

[master2497]

IRON MAIDEN WAS IMPORTANT TO THE STORY LINE OF THIS GAME

[ValisHD]

1 persons got raped by a tree monster >_>

[thejobloshow]

Earnest Evans! I have the Japanese version of this for the Sega CD. Plays fine on emulators.

[lobsopdoy]

Who would win in a fight, Earnest Evans or Guy Kazama?

[TheShadowCookie]

@lobsopdoy

I'd bet on guy. Did you see how fast Earnest's energy drains? Guy Kazama only suffered one point of damage from a exploding space station. But then again, Earest's whip hits as fast as a machine gun and destroyed a blimp and demons within less then 5 seconds. Who knows, my friend, who knows... The universe would probably divide by zero.

[ImmaKai1]

@lobsopdoy Guy Kazama, of course. He's a fucking TANK BUSTER. XD

[NCHammer326]

@lobsopdoy Guy Kazama, hands down.

Guy is a SUPER HERO, while Earnest is a TANK BUSTER at best.

[patchhacker]

@lobsopdoy Guy would, after all his sprite is a higher resolution than Evans'. Also he is a super hero.

[ILIKECEREALX]

@lobsopdoy Guy. He actually has guts, unlike Earnest "Flail Like An Idiot" Evans.

[CasualVideoGamer]

@ILIKECEREALX Not to mention, Guy is at superhero rank right now.

[321cheeseman]

@lobsopdoy

That isn't even a fight.

One of them is a super hero made of metal who busts tanks and shoots rockets and bullets with a single weapon at the SAME TIME.

The other is narcoleptic, has no bones, and waggles around a chain of sausage links.

[lich109]

@lobsopdoy why even ask? Earnest could only do one to two points of damage, before Guy's gun drains him of all life.

Also, Guy Kazama is a SUPERHERO.

[jsh020]

@lich109 pfff, tank buster was always better than superhero,

[MoonshadowCaz]

@lobsopdoy According to Diabetus, the fans would win.

[bobbyewing311]

@lobsopdoy Tank Buster Guy Kazama would destroy everyone in the world lol

[Highstar25]

@lobsopdoy I asked that in the last video :|

[TheToast7]

@lobsopdoy As the President of the United States, I say: I'm not convinced they are separate people.

[Windtrouser]

@lobsopdoy Guy Kazama, easily. He is Mad Thunder, after all. Earnest would flail his whip around randomly while Guy obliterates him with his missile-launching spread gun.

[CrescentWolf879]

@lobsopdoy Guy Kazama would win, Earnest sits while his health drains quickly, Guy can get shot by a tank and only take 1 damage, hell he only took 1 damage from re-rentry to earth.

[KamikaziNinjaStriker]

@lobsopdoy I would have to say Guy "Tank Buster" Kazama. I mean, c'mon, would you mess with a guy whose rank is Tank Buster?

[somahiru]

@lobsopdoy Guy Kazama, he survived the explosion of Indra (and only took 1 damage) Earnest Evans would die from a little single scratch of something if he doesn't get stop being hit.

[MadSurge]

@somahiru It really says something when the protagonist in the next two games becomes "anime maid" and she's much more badass than Earnest!

[paulwarnstedt]

@lobsopdoy you think wrong, think "crossover"

[ColonelVile]

@lobsopdoy  Guy mother fuckin Kazama. He is Kenshiro, Chuck Norris, and Jesus Christ combined, and he's never died.

[ColonelVile]

@lobsopdoy Guy mother fuckin Kazama, hands down, he's Kenshiro, Chuck Norris and Jesus Christ combined, he cannot die. And his feelings cannot be hired by coins.

[TheIr0nMike]

@lobsopdoy Guy Kazama, easily. I mean, he's a fucking Super Metal Tank Buster.

[inferno232]

@lobsopdoy The pilot from Star Strike.

[lobsopdoy]

@inferno232 You mean the joystick?

[inferno232]

@lobsopdoy Of course. He got all the screentime for a reason.

[epickirby]

@lobsopdoy

Guy Kazama no doubt. Earnest Evans couldn't even beat a Tank Buster. Let alone a superhero!