Added: 7 months ago
From: TheEscapistMagazine
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  • Me and a group of my friends played this game for 3 hours.

    Came back the next day and played it for another 5 and won it.

    :S Insane.

  • Am I the only one who found it slightly incongruous that Yahtzee stated that you play as four different characters, only to then proceeded to reel off a list of the character aspects of five different people? Maybe he was still recovering from that brain hemorrhage.

  • I don't agree with a lot of what this guy says, but it makes me laugh. i think this shit is hilarious, even if I am way out of breath

  • Penis

  • Heavy Rain has got the best "actions have consequences" ive ever seen, the ending scene has about 6 different varieties depending on how many of the final characters made it there, I'd like to see Mass effect 3 have 6 different final scenes, i think it'll only have 2 endings.

  • @etocadet >Heavy Rain has six endings. Interactive Drama.

    >ME3 Is a TPRPG. It has GAMEPLAY. Fool.

  • @WolfEhStrongarm Ever played Heavy Rain? It has 17 endings. Many people, including me, have uploaded videos of all the endings if you don't believe me.

  • @etocadet just for the record, I heard ME3 has three endings, depending on your choices in ME1 and ME2, and of course, your galactic readiness level

  • WANK

    WANK

    WANK

  • HURR DURR I CANT SHOOT SO ITS NOT GOOD HURRHURR

  • @KageegeeDJ You are retarded, do you even watch his other stuff

  • @KageegeeDJ

    You obviously have no idea what Yahtzee actually does.

  • Baron von Teapot's Fucking Ludicrous Adventure

    *rides a lobster into the sunset*

  • hey,here's a challenge: review Dear Esther.

  • 1:35 proof that yahtzee laughs :)

  • @mohamedgna I don't get it... he doesn't laugh at 1:35.

  • This is one of my Favourite Games

  • i actually checked out that finger chopping scene... fuck ps3 fans are psychos!

  • I tried to like Heavy Rain, really I did, but I got so bored playing it that returned it movie gallery the same day I rented it and demanded a game that wasn't complete nonsense.

  • Does anyone else get pissed off when people start acting, talking and typing like Yahtzee? Okay first off: Yahtzee hates fan boys. And you people are being Fan boys. Seriously. Get your own fucking personality. Don't copy his.

  • @DyaSlayer Well, if people apparently go around reading these comments in his voice and at his pace - very fast - they'll have to get used to the feeling. Chances are the 'fan boy' behaviour is completely unintentional.

  • @TheMonochromeBird Yes but its rather annoying. People follow blindly in peoples foot steps, but lets be honest here: Yahtzee is an arsehole. The only reason you guys watch him is cause he amuses you. If he was not funny you would not watch him. This is why i find it annoying. Because you only act like him, the only reason why you have anything to do with him is because hes funny. I think hes an arsehole. So personally i wouldn't want to be like him. God knows why people want to be.

  • @DyaSlayer As a matter of fact, I only discovered him quite recently so I hardly 'follow' him. I agree he is a dick but his reviews are mostly satire and I don't take them seriously, even if they do raise valid points. I'm not saying you're wrong or that you don't have the right to display your annoyance but I've come across people who read these comments in his voice (see another comment of mine below about this game) and I just think 'isn't that more fanboyish that my actual comment?'.

  • @TheMonochromeBird I never said you follow him. And yes i see what you mean by some people read how he does. But some people actually Write like he does. Its not me reading like him, its them writing like him. I know this because i know how i read and i read in a rather posh manner unless i'm in a hurry and i know i wasn't in a hurry. So in my eyes He was writing like him.

  • @DyaSlayer When you said 'you guys', I thought you were referring to me as well so, sorry, my mistake. Yes, I agree with you, at the same time, my own comment below about this game was in no way an attempt to be like him so it kind of irked me when someone just came out of nowhere and accused me of watching his videos to the extent of writing like him being second nature. It just made me think 'forgive me for writing how I normally write on Youtube'. So, yeah, that was unintentional on my part.

  • @TheMonochromeBird No you don't sound like him, you sound intelligent not critical. (Theres a wide difference) And don't say sorry, you have nothing to say sorry for. I salute you. You have kept me entertained with this debate and i hope to talk to you again at one point :D

  • @DyaSlayer Sure thing, and thank you. That would be awesome. I. in turn, respect people who can keep a cool and polite head in a debate so thank you for not biting my head off. 8)

  • I enjoyed this game alot. 

  • The more I hear this guy talk the more condescending he sounds. It stopped being funny after I saw all 4 of the AC reviews.

  • @kensredemption He's supposed to be condescending, he's a critic.

  • @SeonleeRomane

    By definition, at least, but his tone of voice just makes him sound like some biased extremist. Therefore, I can't really give any credence to his reviews.

  • @kensredemption Ha. Reviews. He admitted himself that he's not a reviewer and looks for things to hate, he actually admits sometimes that he really liked some games but for the sake of his job he critiques them, not reviews them.

  • @SeonleeRomane

    Setting aside your blind fanaticism for the guy: You're just splitting hairs. There are virtually no differences between "reviews" and "critiques". They may as well be synonyms.

  • Comment removed

  • When I bought this game, I thought it was great but the replay factor is all but none, especially when whoever watched you play the game can't resist constantly pointing out who the killer is whenever they pop on screen. It's fun messing about with your ending but it's not worth it when you can easily watch them all on Youtube anyway, being the lazy bitch I am. :/

  • @TheMonochromeBird I'm going to be honest, I read all that in Yahtzee-voice, and it seems like you've got his rhythm down to a ridiculous degree. Did you go through an archive binge of these videos recently?

  • @GatekeeperAidan Erm - no, I didn't. It may be because I'm British like he is but I fail to see how I got his 'rhythm' down, I was being honest. I fail to see how my comment is any different from the vast majority of comments here.

  • stack of poo poo pancakes.... you don't say?

  • What is wrong with him? this review now makes me question the merit of all his other reviews. Heavy rain was great,

  • @swissyode He tells the developers what's wrong with the game, so they don't make the same mistake later.

  • @swissyode If you're gonna have problems with Yahtzee not liking the same thing you do I would recommend ot stop watching his reviews. Just remember it's his opinion and you don't have to feel the same way he feels about things.

  • @swissyode Pfffft. No. It was a movie in game format. Like an interactive DVD. It was NOT a fun game. It was a decent mini series. Or a good, though exceptionally long, movie. It wasn't a great game. It would've been a better book.

  • Why was there a creme egg in the fridge?

  • I'M FROM HARTLEPOOL!!! YAYYYYYYYYY.

  • @MosleyFML Me too! High Five!

  • @MosleyFML Jack is that youu :D

  • @OriginalSleepyHeads IT ISSSS CRAIIGGGG

  • Comment removed

  • @OriginalSleepyHeads ASSKEWWWWWWWWW

  • "then you stab your kids with a knife!"

    didnt see that one coming^^

  • DO MW3

  • @UCMGTWOClan He's done it but it not on Youtube yet type Zero Punctuation and click the top link to see all hit latest videos

  • TARDIS AGAIN

  • I always get this sensation after he stops talking, kind of like gasping for air after holding my breath for a while.

  • @lilsquirt1995 go to a doctor

  • alright, think it's time we replace these top comments...i got nothin'

  • Yahtzee has the ability to make you dislike your favorite game. That's freakin talent lol

  • I loved Heavy Rain. It was probably my favorite game of the year it released. But Yahtzee is, more or less, right.

  • I hop onto these videos and like before he even starts talking. Because by the end of the video, I've hit the like button at least 3 times again before remembering that I've already hit it. Which makes me laugh like the Alzhemier's patient going up and down a stair lift.

  • Barron von Teapot's fucking ludicrous adventure.

  • Who was the guy with the accent? I only remember four playable characters.

  • @ShadowSpawn666 no he's saying that the dad is a sqinty eyed accented man.

  • To not two.

  • @SandvichPlox The QTE's got me shaking and nervous, the final QTE (You know what it is.) had my palms sweaty, seeing as how I wanted Nahmen to survive. :D

  • Man, this is my favorite game I've ever played, I traded up my xbox collection to get a ps3 just for Heavy Rain, I was not dissapointed. The game is awesome, but he was right, the quick time events got old, and all I really wanted was a scene to actually do the fighting with maybe a small quicktime event to dodge a hammer or 2. The only MAIN issue with the game, is that I mash buttons at the speed of a turtle, so 80% of the time I got owned with a brick to the face.

  • *Black man Kills A White man* "*Reporter* There has been a terrible case of murder at 18:36 in Lincon Park!"

    *White man Kills A Black man* "*Reporter*There has been a terrible racist accident in Lincon Park!*

  • Bwhahaha!!!

  • Nope

  • bitch please im last.

  • @dekatrap32 Last two get laid...

  • LAST!

  • He says you jump between 4 characters, but then lists 5 :S

  • @DannyEastes

    i noticed to, but does it realy matter?

  • i used too play heavy rain but then i took a knife to my finger

    lol i am so sorry

  • Phallus.

  • brown drippy lightning, hah.

  • is it wrong of me that i kind of now want to play baron von tea pots fucking ludacris adventure?

  • I'm surprised at how both the top comments are surprised

  • @wariyoshidirector

    They aren't you fucking thumbwhore comment fail.

  • @Andreazor Yo dawg I heard you like insults so I put a fuck in yo fuck so you can fuck while you fuck!

  • Haha, Quantum Leap reference -- nice!!

  • I love the sound effects he puts in with text

  • It was in fact sad that the killer didnt change.

  • for those who haven't played this game

    BUY IT, PLAY IT, TAKE IT BACK

    it's been 2 years since release so it's cheap and it's worth a playthrough, then take it back as it's worthless once you know "who done it" the amount of endings is massive but my imperfect ending was still perfectly executed

  • They're in her pants?

  • WANK WANK WANK Play LOL

  • *throws confetti* YAY that's the 10th Doctor who reference Ive seen. keep em commin buddy.

  • aygentnahmenjayden was a pretty great guy

  • 0:40 to 0:52 LOL

    I do not know why that is so funny. But I cant stop laughing

  • Favourite line because the way he says it.

    "The zenith is a hauntingly visceral Fucking hard to watch scene..." I think it is the ay he says fucking which is a bit weird

    

  • why are there so few comments???

  • That last part was just weird.

  • @evanescfan This isn't speech, it's text.

  • anyone listening, go to the youtube search bar, type in "top 10 heavy rain harrowing decisions" and search for the one with orange and a big black thumbs up sign in the middle. its fucking hilarious. (not as good as any of yatzees vids)

  • I like the part where he was jerking off a dog.....that's the point of the vid right? :P

  • Baron von Teapot's Fucking Ludicrous Adventure

  • Who's the squinty accented one?

  • I enjoy Yahtzee the same way I enjoy Micheal Moore and Dennis Miler. They're very biased and occasionally unfair, but even if you don't agree with them, they're still very funny and insightful people. I don't really turn to Yahtzee if I want a legitimate review, but he does a damn good rant.

  • @hall9111 Yes! This.

  • @hall9111 I agree

  • He is pretty right with all of this, and it does get a lot better after the kid gets taken but I can't believe Yahtzee didn't comment on the absolutely abysmal voice acting! I understand that having so many different choices you need to make the text make sense no matter what happens but how about you re-record at least some of it under different contexts you cheap fucks! Even the parts that are the same no matter what you do the people sound entirely dead inside!

  • Honestly? I prefer Deadly Premonition to Heavy Rain.

  • @Catastrogue Really? Why?

  • is it weird that i wish i was a parent so that this game would affect me more?

  • the reason why there is that a random action packed dream sequence is because the character is a former war field journalist, but info on that got cut, making that sequence rather pointless. i wish i could say that was the end of the plot holes but there were so many more all because of scenes they removed because it added a supernatural level. I'm no expert but isn't rule number one having a solid logical story in place before going ahead with filming.

  • I see his point, but I still enjoyed Heavy Rain, because I was pulled into it, and the whole time I was playing I was like "HOLY SHIT WHO FUCKING DID IT!?!?".

  • lol

  • I'm surprised no one has commented

  • @derp110

    well the guy does kinda leave u speechless.

  • @derp110 I'm surprised you didn't say "first."

  • @strife93 I kind of wish that the people who do at least have something else to say about the video besides that. :/

  • @strife93 i'm surprised i didn't say 46,224th

  • @derp110 I'm surprised it's not butter

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